All language subtitles for How.To.Survive.Being.Single.S01E03.WEBRip.x264-ION10

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian Download
bg Bulgarian Download
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek Download
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian Download
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,507 --> 00:00:08,467 You can't ignore me forever, Sebas. 2 00:00:08,551 --> 00:00:09,431 Smile! 3 00:00:11,679 --> 00:00:15,019 -At least let me explain. -Facing each other, please. 4 00:00:16,142 --> 00:00:19,352 Will that change the fact that you ruined our relationship 5 00:00:19,437 --> 00:00:22,607 and that you're also ruining my only chance to revive my career? 6 00:00:23,065 --> 00:00:24,685 Choke him, please. 7 00:00:26,026 --> 00:00:27,986 -Adán called me. -And you accepted. 8 00:00:28,070 --> 00:00:31,030 Yes, because I need to talk to you, not to bother you. 9 00:00:31,615 --> 00:00:34,075 Intentions don't matter. 10 00:00:34,160 --> 00:00:35,540 I want to help you. 11 00:00:37,121 --> 00:00:40,541 If you want to help, you should be loyal. 12 00:00:40,624 --> 00:00:42,794 Fine, fine. I understand. 13 00:00:42,877 --> 00:00:45,417 -Now, please, let me talk. -Raise the weapons. 14 00:00:47,590 --> 00:00:51,050 Please leave me alone on the only week I don't have to see you. 15 00:00:51,135 --> 00:00:52,335 Show your weapons. 16 00:00:55,055 --> 00:00:58,345 I feel terrible too, Sebas. Let me talk to you, okay? 17 00:00:58,434 --> 00:00:59,394 Foot up and kiss. 18 00:01:00,311 --> 00:01:02,441 I won't talk to you until they yell "action." 19 00:01:03,564 --> 00:01:04,574 Goodbye, Lucía. 20 00:01:08,235 --> 00:01:11,025 HOW TO SURVIVE BEING SINGLE 21 00:01:11,113 --> 00:01:14,033 This is a huge cake for a big-ass bachelor's party. 22 00:01:15,701 --> 00:01:17,241 Okay! 23 00:01:17,328 --> 00:01:18,868 Lord Boobies. 24 00:01:18,954 --> 00:01:23,174 I finished his Tinder profile. I said he's a vegan. 25 00:01:23,250 --> 00:01:25,880 -Cool, women are into that. -They love it. 26 00:01:25,961 --> 00:01:29,671 Tinder is crap. You can't connect through an algorithm. 27 00:01:29,757 --> 00:01:33,637 Relax, Fabiana. Not everybody likes to pick up dates at libraries. 28 00:01:33,719 --> 00:01:36,349 Of course, you'd have to know how to read. 29 00:01:36,430 --> 00:01:38,220 Mafer, where should I put this? 30 00:01:38,307 --> 00:01:40,477 I told you 20 times. On the table. 31 00:01:40,559 --> 00:01:42,649 Kids, concentrate. 32 00:01:42,728 --> 00:01:46,068 I devoted eight hours to this for Sebastián to get over Lucía. 33 00:01:46,148 --> 00:01:47,648 Don't worry about him. 34 00:01:47,733 --> 00:01:51,243 After tonight, he'll be too busy to think about Lucía. 35 00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:52,660 Why? 36 00:01:53,531 --> 00:01:54,571 He'll be fucking a lot! 37 00:01:55,741 --> 00:01:59,501 -It's ready. -Hey, the cake goes on that table. 38 00:01:59,578 --> 00:02:02,328 There are nine tables, sorry. Okay? 39 00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:05,790 -What's up? Are you ready? -Yes. 40 00:02:05,876 --> 00:02:07,246 Everyone knows what to do? 41 00:02:07,336 --> 00:02:08,546 -Obviously. -Yes. 42 00:02:08,629 --> 00:02:11,419 If you won't do this for Sebastián, just do it for me. 43 00:02:11,882 --> 00:02:14,592 -Why for you? -If something hurts him, it kills me. 44 00:02:14,677 --> 00:02:15,967 Really? 45 00:02:16,679 --> 00:02:18,309 I don't see what's so funny. 46 00:02:19,765 --> 00:02:22,975 These are cool. Hold them from the bottom. 47 00:02:23,060 --> 00:02:25,690 No, Lorenza. I don't know why you allowed it. 48 00:02:25,771 --> 00:02:28,071 You're my manager, why did you accept? 49 00:02:28,190 --> 00:02:30,940 -Sur--! -Listen up, I'll make it quick. 50 00:02:31,026 --> 00:02:34,946 This is my opportunity. No! You don't get it. I don't care, bye. 51 00:02:35,030 --> 00:02:36,950 Surprise! 52 00:02:38,242 --> 00:02:39,542 What's going on? 53 00:02:39,577 --> 00:02:42,247 Welcome to your re-bachelor party. 54 00:02:42,329 --> 00:02:44,669 -Okay. -For your new life, dude. 55 00:02:49,336 --> 00:02:50,376 Come on! 56 00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:55,844 What the fuck, man? 57 00:02:55,926 --> 00:02:58,096 -Come on, Fabiana! -Sorry. 58 00:02:58,178 --> 00:03:00,888 You nearly killed him, you can't pull these pranks. 59 00:03:00,973 --> 00:03:03,483 -I didn't buy the confetti. -Holy shit, Fabiana. 60 00:03:03,559 --> 00:03:06,599 -Are you okay? -Besides getting hit by confetti, 61 00:03:06,687 --> 00:03:08,267 Lucía is trying to ruin my life. 62 00:03:08,355 --> 00:03:11,815 She had the main actress fired so she could get the part. 63 00:03:11,901 --> 00:03:14,111 I can't believe that bitch. Eat something. 64 00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:16,954 Relax, I don't think she did it on purpose. 65 00:03:17,031 --> 00:03:20,531 In any case, your life has to go on. 66 00:03:20,618 --> 00:03:22,448 What would you do in my shoes? 67 00:03:22,536 --> 00:03:25,656 Me? I would work on myself, go to therapy. 68 00:03:25,748 --> 00:03:29,538 Ask my inner child, "What's wrong, why are you crying?" 69 00:03:29,627 --> 00:03:31,797 The important thing is that you're single. 70 00:03:31,879 --> 00:03:34,419 That means less crying and more fucking. 71 00:03:34,506 --> 00:03:36,796 -Check it out. -Are you serious? 72 00:03:36,884 --> 00:03:40,014 -A Tinder account in my name? -Yes, this is for you. 73 00:03:40,095 --> 00:03:43,135 It was hard work, we invested in it. Enjoy it. 74 00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:46,193 -Eight hours. -You look good in that photo, dude. 75 00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:49,727 You guys are shitting me. Where did you get these? 76 00:03:49,813 --> 00:03:51,523 They're from my old portfolio. 77 00:03:51,607 --> 00:03:53,977 Your best time, you look great. 78 00:03:54,068 --> 00:03:55,188 You look perfect. 79 00:03:55,277 --> 00:03:58,777 We analyzed a bunch of profiles and those are the best options. 80 00:03:58,864 --> 00:04:01,454 The best. And only two who matched. 81 00:04:01,533 --> 00:04:02,953 You have a new message, man. 82 00:04:03,035 --> 00:04:04,235 It's from Beatriz. 83 00:04:04,328 --> 00:04:07,248 If Beatriz wrote, the other one will too. That's how it works. 84 00:04:07,331 --> 00:04:08,671 How do you know, Daniel? 85 00:04:09,208 --> 00:04:10,418 I heard. 86 00:04:10,501 --> 00:04:12,131 The other girl will message you. 87 00:04:19,969 --> 00:04:22,969 -Beatriz wrote to you. -Yeah, that's good for starters. 88 00:04:23,055 --> 00:04:25,175 I'm not ready for this, I'm not in the mood. 89 00:04:25,265 --> 00:04:29,225 You have to use technology. Nowadays, hooking up is a cinch. 90 00:04:29,311 --> 00:04:34,151 Once I got a girl, and all I had to do was send her an eggplant and unicorn emoji. 91 00:04:34,233 --> 00:04:36,193 We didn't exchange any words. 92 00:04:37,194 --> 00:04:39,034 -This is the future, man! -And... 93 00:04:39,113 --> 00:04:42,163 Don't waste your matches, you never know when it's the last one. 94 00:04:42,241 --> 00:04:44,581 You have to go out and forget about Lucía. 95 00:04:46,704 --> 00:04:48,964 Okay. Okay, right. 96 00:04:49,039 --> 00:04:49,959 On one condition. 97 00:04:51,041 --> 00:04:52,791 That you go with me. I'm not going alone. 98 00:04:52,876 --> 00:04:55,876 Don't be stupid, you're acting like a child. 99 00:04:55,963 --> 00:04:58,843 You're Sebastián Ybarra, international movie star. 100 00:04:58,924 --> 00:05:00,264 Believe it, dude! 101 00:05:00,342 --> 00:05:03,222 Wait a minute. We could all go out... 102 00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:06,223 -but not together. -Yeah! 103 00:05:06,306 --> 00:05:10,436 You and Mafer will get a migraine and cancel at the last minute. 104 00:05:10,519 --> 00:05:12,479 Listen, buddies. Attention. 105 00:05:13,063 --> 00:05:16,363 We're all going together in support of our buddy Sebi who needs us. 106 00:05:16,442 --> 00:05:19,862 Should I write, send an emoji? 107 00:05:19,945 --> 00:05:22,735 -Send the dick pic now or...? -No! 108 00:05:23,282 --> 00:05:24,702 Calm down, champ. 109 00:05:24,783 --> 00:05:28,373 The only important thing here, the golden rule is, don't talk about your ex. 110 00:05:31,623 --> 00:05:33,133 Never talk about my ex. 111 00:05:34,209 --> 00:05:37,299 It's my first date since I broke up with my ex. 112 00:05:41,300 --> 00:05:43,930 Is this the first time you've gone out through Tinder? 113 00:05:44,011 --> 00:05:47,261 Forget Tinder, this is the first time I've gone out, period. 114 00:05:48,015 --> 00:05:49,765 My friends opened my account. 115 00:05:52,644 --> 00:05:54,524 Sorry for interrupting. 116 00:05:54,605 --> 00:05:59,025 I know that you're having dinner, but this crazy chick wants a photo with Teo. 117 00:05:59,109 --> 00:06:00,569 -Will you take it? -Sure. 118 00:06:00,652 --> 00:06:03,322 Make sure it's a good photo, for my FB page. 119 00:06:03,405 --> 00:06:04,945 Okay. 120 00:06:05,032 --> 00:06:06,282 Smile. 121 00:06:11,163 --> 00:06:13,123 Thank you, darling. 122 00:06:14,875 --> 00:06:17,915 Imagine what I'm going to do with this picture. 123 00:06:20,130 --> 00:06:23,260 Bon appétit, have a good time. 124 00:06:29,973 --> 00:06:33,233 What's up? How did it go? Is he nervous? 125 00:06:33,310 --> 00:06:38,520 I can't believe you're buddies with the poor, broken-hearted Teo from Dumped. 126 00:06:38,607 --> 00:06:40,227 You should have said so before. 127 00:06:40,317 --> 00:06:42,947 He's been my best friend since we were little. 128 00:06:43,028 --> 00:06:47,068 Yes, but I didn't believe you, dear. At all. 129 00:06:47,157 --> 00:06:51,867 For me, a glass of champagne and a diet soda as a chaser. 130 00:06:51,954 --> 00:06:53,964 And for you? 131 00:06:54,039 --> 00:06:56,879 I... A glass of water, please. 132 00:06:58,001 --> 00:07:01,841 -Are you famous or something? -No. She thought I was someone else. 133 00:07:05,926 --> 00:07:08,136 -What are you searching for? -Nothing. 134 00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:14,271 Maybe we can continue our dinner without our phones. 135 00:07:14,351 --> 00:07:17,811 People think that phones connect, but they actually disconnect us. 136 00:07:17,896 --> 00:07:19,396 Teo, from Dumped. 137 00:07:20,023 --> 00:07:22,533 "She cheated. Sebastián Ybarra loses it at the premiere." 138 00:07:22,609 --> 00:07:23,819 That's fake news. 139 00:07:23,902 --> 00:07:26,662 Should I believe you or the six million views? 140 00:07:26,738 --> 00:07:31,288 If you don't mind, I'd like you to respect my privacy and my past. 141 00:07:31,702 --> 00:07:32,912 Let's talk about... 142 00:07:33,704 --> 00:07:34,914 About us. 143 00:07:35,664 --> 00:07:36,964 There is no "us." 144 00:07:38,584 --> 00:07:40,004 Are you a YouTuber? 145 00:07:43,130 --> 00:07:44,920 Good evening. Table for two? 146 00:07:45,007 --> 00:07:47,297 -Yes, thank you. -Follow me. 147 00:07:47,384 --> 00:07:50,304 I don't drink because I work out early every morning. 148 00:07:50,387 --> 00:07:51,807 Please, come in. 149 00:07:51,889 --> 00:07:53,389 Yo, bitch! 150 00:07:54,057 --> 00:07:55,347 Thought we wouldn't come? 151 00:07:55,434 --> 00:07:57,274 We go out on Tuesdays too, Fish. 152 00:07:57,352 --> 00:08:01,272 -Who's this? -Two very good friends. 153 00:08:01,356 --> 00:08:04,106 This is Melodi, we met on DrugWags.net. 154 00:08:04,193 --> 00:08:05,653 -Hi. -What's up? 155 00:08:05,736 --> 00:08:07,816 Oh, that's great. 156 00:08:08,447 --> 00:08:09,447 Yeah. 157 00:08:11,200 --> 00:08:12,700 -Fish! -Coming. 158 00:08:12,784 --> 00:08:15,704 Yes. I'm going. See you later, I'm going with her. 159 00:08:15,787 --> 00:08:18,327 I'm glad you came to have fun on a Tuesday. 160 00:08:18,415 --> 00:08:21,125 -Fish! -Coming, coming! 161 00:08:21,210 --> 00:08:23,840 -A bottle of tequila. -Daniel, a bottle? 162 00:08:23,921 --> 00:08:25,921 Are we boring people? 163 00:08:26,006 --> 00:08:28,586 No. I can't believe they thought we wouldn't come. 164 00:08:28,675 --> 00:08:31,385 -Are we really like that? -No. 165 00:08:32,262 --> 00:08:33,932 -Cheers, love. -Cheers. 166 00:08:36,433 --> 00:08:38,523 So they stop saying that we get migraines. 167 00:08:38,602 --> 00:08:39,942 Damn them. 168 00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:41,810 -Hey, Lina. -Hello. 169 00:08:41,897 --> 00:08:43,817 -Is my table ready? -Sure, Gon. 170 00:08:43,899 --> 00:08:45,609 -Thanks. -Welcome to the Arango. 171 00:08:45,692 --> 00:08:49,612 This is my spot. It's very low-key, but they have the best tapas, 172 00:08:49,696 --> 00:08:51,776 and the chef is a close friend of mine. 173 00:08:53,283 --> 00:08:55,703 See? They know what I like. 174 00:08:56,703 --> 00:08:59,463 And any minute now... 175 00:09:02,084 --> 00:09:04,174 Like a Swiss watch, damn it. 176 00:09:05,587 --> 00:09:08,797 Try it, enjoy it, savor it. You're in heaven, Francesca. 177 00:09:09,299 --> 00:09:13,509 You may take photos. Just don't tag me because I'm an extremely private person. 178 00:09:14,054 --> 00:09:15,144 Well, I'm an actor. 179 00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:17,555 -Really? -Yes. 180 00:09:18,725 --> 00:09:21,435 -Can I ask you a question? -Sure, sure. 181 00:09:21,520 --> 00:09:22,770 Is it hard to cry on cue? 182 00:09:23,355 --> 00:09:25,435 -Not that hard. -Come on, cry. 183 00:09:27,401 --> 00:09:29,781 It's not that easy either. It's like... 184 00:09:31,071 --> 00:09:35,201 It's an acting process, you have to think of something emotional, 185 00:09:35,284 --> 00:09:37,874 something that makes you think of... 186 00:09:40,372 --> 00:09:44,542 Like my whore of an ex who fucked a guy on a balcony. 187 00:09:44,626 --> 00:09:46,036 Let's talk about something else. 188 00:09:46,128 --> 00:09:47,878 No, don't worry. I'm fine. 189 00:09:48,380 --> 00:09:53,140 But she wasn't fine. If she'd been fine, she wouldn't have fucked a dude on a balcony. 190 00:09:53,218 --> 00:09:55,218 Maybe you didn't listen to her. 191 00:09:55,304 --> 00:09:56,514 It did hurt me. 192 00:09:57,764 --> 00:09:59,984 Because I love her, you know? 193 00:10:00,559 --> 00:10:02,389 I used to love her. I did. 194 00:10:02,894 --> 00:10:04,774 But I also hate her. 195 00:10:04,855 --> 00:10:07,605 I hate her. And I don't know if I'll ever forgive her. 196 00:10:08,150 --> 00:10:11,610 Use all those feelings... to cry. 197 00:10:13,989 --> 00:10:16,279 It's a great place, right? 198 00:10:18,243 --> 00:10:19,373 Welcome. 199 00:10:19,453 --> 00:10:22,543 Do you have a table closer to that side? 200 00:10:23,457 --> 00:10:24,827 They're all reserved. 201 00:10:25,375 --> 00:10:27,285 -Fabiana? -Hey. 202 00:10:27,377 --> 00:10:28,917 It's been so long. 203 00:10:30,213 --> 00:10:31,633 You look great without braces. 204 00:10:32,174 --> 00:10:34,844 How rude of me. I'm Gonzalo Torres, this is Francesca. 205 00:10:34,926 --> 00:10:36,256 -My pleasure. -Likewise. 206 00:10:36,887 --> 00:10:38,847 I'm Professor Berberto Strung. 207 00:10:38,930 --> 00:10:42,430 -It's a pleasure, professor. -Will you join us for an appetizer? 208 00:10:42,517 --> 00:10:44,517 No, they want to be alone. 209 00:10:44,603 --> 00:10:49,073 Maybe we can join you later, professor. Thank you. 210 00:10:49,149 --> 00:10:50,149 Please. 211 00:10:51,610 --> 00:10:53,450 What a gentleman! 212 00:10:56,615 --> 00:10:58,115 -Don't start, creep. -Okay. 213 00:11:09,920 --> 00:11:10,750 Hey, Mafer. 214 00:11:11,463 --> 00:11:13,343 -Can I tell you something? -Go ahead. 215 00:11:13,423 --> 00:11:14,423 Something. 216 00:11:15,133 --> 00:11:16,433 You're wasted. 217 00:11:16,510 --> 00:11:18,550 Seriously now. 218 00:11:18,637 --> 00:11:22,557 We can't turn into Sebastián and Lucía... 219 00:11:22,641 --> 00:11:24,231 No. I swear, we won't. 220 00:11:24,309 --> 00:11:26,139 I swear. 221 00:11:26,228 --> 00:11:31,018 I can't turn into Lucía, and you can't turn into Sebastián. 222 00:11:31,108 --> 00:11:32,528 -That's-- -Hey. 223 00:11:33,610 --> 00:11:35,820 Are you okay? Totally wasted. 224 00:11:35,904 --> 00:11:38,914 Fuck, yeah, so they don't think we're boring. Team "Dafer." 225 00:11:38,990 --> 00:11:40,080 Fuckers. 226 00:11:40,784 --> 00:11:42,204 Okay. 227 00:11:42,285 --> 00:11:45,865 Quick. I said I was going to the bathroom, she'll think I took a dump. 228 00:11:45,956 --> 00:11:50,246 One, she tried to make me cry. Two, I keep talking about Lucía. 229 00:11:50,335 --> 00:11:51,705 It's been like that all night. 230 00:11:51,795 --> 00:11:52,995 Sebas, listen. 231 00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:55,880 Beatriz is your amuse-bouche. 232 00:11:55,966 --> 00:11:59,636 She's here to rinse from your lips the bitter taste of Lucía. 233 00:11:59,719 --> 00:12:03,059 -What is that? -You have to be firm, 234 00:12:03,140 --> 00:12:04,980 don't show any weakness. 235 00:12:05,058 --> 00:12:06,688 On the contrary. 236 00:12:06,768 --> 00:12:11,518 Show that you're vulnerable, that you're in a totally screwed-up situation. 237 00:12:12,023 --> 00:12:17,783 We women love men who are in touch with their feelings. 238 00:12:17,863 --> 00:12:19,613 Okay, okay. 239 00:12:19,698 --> 00:12:21,448 Okay. 240 00:12:21,533 --> 00:12:22,873 Just a minute. 241 00:12:23,285 --> 00:12:25,035 Vulnerability... 242 00:12:25,120 --> 00:12:27,040 without weakness. 243 00:12:27,122 --> 00:12:29,252 -Yes, yes! -Okay. 244 00:12:29,332 --> 00:12:30,832 That's my champ! 245 00:12:37,591 --> 00:12:39,011 What's up, professor? 246 00:12:40,135 --> 00:12:41,635 -Go ahead. -After you. 247 00:12:41,720 --> 00:12:43,100 No. 248 00:12:43,180 --> 00:12:44,430 After you. 249 00:12:46,266 --> 00:12:48,976 So what, are you dating Fabiana? 250 00:12:49,060 --> 00:12:50,850 Yes, she's a smart young woman. 251 00:12:50,937 --> 00:12:53,267 Exactly. She's kind of young for you. 252 00:12:53,356 --> 00:12:54,976 Intellect has no age. 253 00:12:55,066 --> 00:12:57,606 I bet you're married. 254 00:12:58,195 --> 00:12:59,105 I'm a widower. 255 00:13:00,864 --> 00:13:02,124 Sorry, I apologize. 256 00:13:02,199 --> 00:13:04,239 -Any other questions? -No. 257 00:13:05,243 --> 00:13:06,243 Well... 258 00:13:10,749 --> 00:13:12,169 We started off on the wrong foot. 259 00:13:12,626 --> 00:13:15,126 I was vulnerable, that's all. 260 00:13:15,629 --> 00:13:17,259 But I'd really like to get to know you. 261 00:13:17,339 --> 00:13:20,339 Your profile said you're a chocolatier. Want to order dessert? 262 00:13:20,842 --> 00:13:22,932 That means I make chocolate. 263 00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:25,100 Of course, of course. 264 00:13:25,180 --> 00:13:27,640 I own a brand of organic cocoa. 265 00:13:27,724 --> 00:13:29,524 A fair-trade crop. 266 00:13:30,227 --> 00:13:33,517 Give me your link to put on my social media and we can promote it. 267 00:13:35,023 --> 00:13:36,023 No. 268 00:13:40,028 --> 00:13:42,198 -Are you really on Tinder? -Constantly. 269 00:13:42,280 --> 00:13:44,740 Aren't we, like, on a date? You and me? 270 00:13:44,824 --> 00:13:47,544 Yeah. But nowadays we can't waste time. 271 00:13:47,619 --> 00:13:48,789 Besides, you won't cry. 272 00:13:48,870 --> 00:13:50,120 Make me some chocolate. 273 00:13:56,545 --> 00:13:57,455 Will you cry now? 274 00:13:57,546 --> 00:14:00,756 -Why do you insist? -Because you're an actor. 275 00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:02,300 I didn't choose to be hurt. 276 00:14:02,384 --> 00:14:06,184 Lucía had a thousand ways to tell me that she was done 277 00:14:06,263 --> 00:14:08,223 and she chose the lamest. 278 00:14:11,142 --> 00:14:12,352 Damn it. 279 00:14:13,645 --> 00:14:15,395 I thought you were gonna cry this time. 280 00:14:17,899 --> 00:14:20,529 Well... I'll be right back. 281 00:14:26,700 --> 00:14:28,450 I've come to the conclusion 282 00:14:28,535 --> 00:14:31,955 that every human relationship is subjective. 283 00:14:32,038 --> 00:14:33,788 Nobody hurts or is hurt. 284 00:14:34,583 --> 00:14:37,543 We are all simply intoxicated by our egos, 285 00:14:37,627 --> 00:14:39,047 which block us from loving... 286 00:14:39,129 --> 00:14:42,469 -selflessly and periodically... -Selflessly and periodically... 287 00:14:42,549 --> 00:14:45,589 -in the brief times of love. -in the brief times of love. 288 00:14:46,720 --> 00:14:50,640 -To me, you are... -Say it. 289 00:14:52,100 --> 00:14:56,400 I don't know, you're like the Plato of human relationships. 290 00:15:05,530 --> 00:15:07,700 The girl is on Tinder. This isn't working. 291 00:15:07,782 --> 00:15:09,372 It's the story of my life. 292 00:15:09,451 --> 00:15:11,411 Don't let her intimidate you, darling. 293 00:15:11,494 --> 00:15:15,214 We women like dudes who dominate us. 294 00:15:15,290 --> 00:15:19,460 -That's right, bro. -Who make us sweat in passion. 295 00:15:20,170 --> 00:15:24,380 Seduce her like a real "macho" and she'll fall for you, I bet my mother! 296 00:15:26,259 --> 00:15:29,009 That's what I was about to say. 297 00:15:29,095 --> 00:15:32,675 -Then I have to dominate her. -Dominate her. 298 00:15:32,766 --> 00:15:35,806 -Seduction... with passion. -With passion. 299 00:15:36,561 --> 00:15:38,311 Yeah! Yeah. 300 00:15:38,396 --> 00:15:39,646 Do it, honey. 301 00:15:44,944 --> 00:15:46,954 We can keep talking if you want. 302 00:15:51,159 --> 00:15:51,909 Hello, chick. 303 00:15:53,036 --> 00:15:54,286 You know what the problem is? 304 00:15:54,371 --> 00:15:56,331 We're repressing sexual tension. 305 00:15:57,165 --> 00:15:58,575 -Sexual tension? -Fuck, yeah. 306 00:16:00,001 --> 00:16:04,671 No. I literally don't feel it. 307 00:16:04,756 --> 00:16:06,256 I'm going to turn you on. 308 00:16:06,841 --> 00:16:08,221 Okay. 309 00:16:08,301 --> 00:16:10,801 Whatever you snorted, I want some too. 310 00:16:10,887 --> 00:16:13,767 I'm going to give you takeout, cowgirl. 311 00:16:15,642 --> 00:16:16,392 Cowgirl? 312 00:16:17,435 --> 00:16:18,725 Okay, okay. 313 00:16:19,312 --> 00:16:23,022 Now it's me who needs the restroom. Excuse me. 314 00:16:29,864 --> 00:16:35,334 Why do some people lose the flame in their relationship? 315 00:16:36,454 --> 00:16:39,874 I don't know, but the worst part is when they run out of wax. 316 00:16:39,958 --> 00:16:43,418 Because then, how can you relight that flame? 317 00:16:45,046 --> 00:16:48,966 Why is the obsession with the flame and not the wax? 318 00:16:49,050 --> 00:16:50,010 I don't know, but... 319 00:16:50,719 --> 00:16:53,809 people like us, who work on the wax, 320 00:16:53,888 --> 00:16:56,218 don't get their flame blown out. 321 00:16:58,393 --> 00:16:59,643 No way. 322 00:17:00,228 --> 00:17:01,808 Our flame blew out, Daniel. 323 00:17:03,523 --> 00:17:05,283 Do you have a lighter? 324 00:17:05,358 --> 00:17:07,068 No. Do you? 325 00:17:07,152 --> 00:17:08,112 No. 326 00:17:09,112 --> 00:17:10,412 Too bad. 327 00:17:18,121 --> 00:17:19,121 What? 328 00:17:19,205 --> 00:17:21,285 No, just-- You don't understand anything. 329 00:17:21,374 --> 00:17:23,924 It was only an analogy. 330 00:17:24,002 --> 00:17:27,922 If wax is the base and passion is the flame, 331 00:17:28,006 --> 00:17:29,416 the lighter is desire. 332 00:17:29,507 --> 00:17:31,627 What happens when there's no desire? 333 00:17:33,261 --> 00:17:34,511 I don't get it. 334 00:17:36,556 --> 00:17:38,426 I feel like we're in limbo. 335 00:17:38,516 --> 00:17:41,226 We've lived together for some time, 336 00:17:41,311 --> 00:17:43,311 but we're not married. 337 00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:47,026 I think we've become comfortable, accustomed and lazy. 338 00:17:47,525 --> 00:17:51,645 And we're letting more and more time go by in an impasse. 339 00:17:51,738 --> 00:17:54,778 Mafer, we have to give it time. 340 00:17:56,659 --> 00:17:57,489 Give it time? 341 00:18:08,713 --> 00:18:11,423 Listen, he only wants to fuck you. 342 00:18:14,344 --> 00:18:16,604 Thanks for the news. Me too. 343 00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:19,640 He's using you. 344 00:18:21,226 --> 00:18:24,016 Please don't ruin my date. 345 00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:25,653 I'm just trying to help. 346 00:18:26,272 --> 00:18:29,152 Shit. Thanks for helping me, "Dad." 347 00:18:32,237 --> 00:18:33,357 I'm going to the restroom. 348 00:18:44,582 --> 00:18:46,632 Are you all right, Mafer? 349 00:18:46,709 --> 00:18:47,499 Fuck! 350 00:18:57,053 --> 00:18:58,563 Why are you crying, girl? 351 00:18:58,638 --> 00:19:01,718 Life. Daniel doesn't see himself having a future with me. 352 00:19:02,308 --> 00:19:03,638 How much did you two drink? 353 00:19:04,143 --> 00:19:06,943 -Just a little. -I think it was more than that. 354 00:19:07,021 --> 00:19:10,071 We did it so you'd stop saying that we're boring. 355 00:19:12,527 --> 00:19:14,027 Are you all right? 356 00:19:14,737 --> 00:19:16,737 -Great. -Why are you crying? 357 00:19:16,823 --> 00:19:19,243 I see I'm not the only one with a lame date. 358 00:19:19,325 --> 00:19:21,615 Oh, that's gross! 359 00:19:21,703 --> 00:19:24,963 I'm an expert on vomit. 360 00:19:25,039 --> 00:19:28,079 This will do wonders for you, want some? 361 00:19:30,420 --> 00:19:32,170 -Anybody? -No, thanks. 362 00:19:33,256 --> 00:19:34,756 Go to hell, then. 363 00:19:36,968 --> 00:19:38,048 Listen, Mafer. 364 00:19:44,559 --> 00:19:46,269 Pharmacy for Mr. Berberto? 365 00:19:48,062 --> 00:19:49,862 Yes, that's me. 366 00:19:49,939 --> 00:19:51,519 -How nice of you. -Excuse me. 367 00:19:57,822 --> 00:19:59,202 ADULT DIAPERS 368 00:20:06,247 --> 00:20:07,617 VIAGRA 369 00:20:29,729 --> 00:20:31,809 I think you'll be needing these. 370 00:20:35,777 --> 00:20:38,737 I tried to be dominant, and she laughed at me. 371 00:20:38,821 --> 00:20:40,531 -What now? -Forget her. 372 00:20:40,615 --> 00:20:43,445 You deserve better, dude. Whatever. 373 00:20:44,160 --> 00:20:45,410 Thank you so much. 374 00:20:47,121 --> 00:20:50,291 -I think I'm going to cry. -That's a personal problem. 375 00:20:50,375 --> 00:20:53,705 Hey, fuckers, where's Mafer? I really screwed up with her. 376 00:20:53,795 --> 00:20:54,955 What'd you do, man? 377 00:20:55,046 --> 00:20:59,466 I'm drunk and said something stupid about giving it time. 378 00:20:59,550 --> 00:21:02,010 Hey, concentrate. 379 00:21:02,095 --> 00:21:05,255 The thing is, you and Mafer are the best couple I know. 380 00:21:05,348 --> 00:21:09,388 Don't fuck it up. Go find her and show her that you love her. Okay? 381 00:21:09,894 --> 00:21:11,734 You're right. 382 00:21:11,813 --> 00:21:14,863 -Do you have a lighter? -I do. Here. 383 00:21:16,359 --> 00:21:17,819 We have the wax, man. 384 00:21:19,862 --> 00:21:21,072 We have the wax. 385 00:21:21,155 --> 00:21:25,235 What? What's wrong with everyone? What the hell was that? 386 00:21:25,326 --> 00:21:26,576 Assholes... 387 00:21:27,954 --> 00:21:29,714 I have to get rid of the professor. 388 00:21:29,789 --> 00:21:32,209 Okay. Who is he, the damn professor? 389 00:21:32,291 --> 00:21:34,421 That old geezer who's with Fabiana. 390 00:21:34,502 --> 00:21:36,712 -Which one? -Don't look now. 391 00:21:36,796 --> 00:21:39,716 He took a Golden X with Ensure. 392 00:21:39,799 --> 00:21:41,179 -Right in front of me! -What? 393 00:21:41,259 --> 00:21:43,849 Why don't you let Fabiana enjoy her date? 394 00:21:43,928 --> 00:21:47,638 I don't trust that jerk. He's taking advantage of Fabi. 395 00:21:47,724 --> 00:21:50,854 He thinks he's slyer than Gonzo. I need you to help me. 396 00:21:50,935 --> 00:21:53,855 No. I'm the one who needs help, that's why you're here. 397 00:21:53,938 --> 00:21:56,478 -I could help you. -Thanks, man. 398 00:21:56,566 --> 00:21:57,566 Only you. 399 00:21:57,859 --> 00:22:00,029 But help me help you. 400 00:22:00,111 --> 00:22:02,781 -Are you bribing me, Fish? -Yes. 401 00:22:02,864 --> 00:22:05,834 -How much? -My bill plus 15 percent. 402 00:22:05,908 --> 00:22:08,658 -Holy fuck, what did you order? -Come on, man. 403 00:22:08,745 --> 00:22:11,205 -At least pay the tip. -All right! 404 00:22:12,081 --> 00:22:14,631 -Okay. -This is what we're going to do. 405 00:22:14,709 --> 00:22:17,669 Give me advice with Beatriz because this isn't working. 406 00:22:17,754 --> 00:22:21,224 Sebastián, if your date doesn't work, go home and jerk off. 407 00:22:21,299 --> 00:22:24,139 -Like all normal people. -Shit, that's your advice? 408 00:22:24,218 --> 00:22:25,888 What can I say, man? 409 00:22:27,263 --> 00:22:28,893 I think that's how your night will end. 410 00:22:29,515 --> 00:22:31,515 It's not that bad either. 411 00:22:31,601 --> 00:22:33,061 Just jack it. 412 00:22:33,144 --> 00:22:34,854 I can't believe you guys. 413 00:22:35,855 --> 00:22:38,475 -This is my idea... -Here's the check! 414 00:22:38,566 --> 00:22:41,526 -Stop ordering stuff! -Just a minute. 415 00:22:41,611 --> 00:22:46,031 Darling, remember I told you earlier that at some point I'd ask you for a favor? 416 00:22:46,115 --> 00:22:47,615 You want a threesome? 417 00:22:47,700 --> 00:22:52,370 -No, you're going to help me. -Exactly. Listen to him. 418 00:22:52,455 --> 00:22:54,165 -Okay, then. -This is the plan... 419 00:22:54,957 --> 00:22:56,287 -How do I look? -Good. 420 00:23:08,805 --> 00:23:11,515 Darling, I'm sorry about what I said. 421 00:23:11,599 --> 00:23:13,639 I didn't mean to hurt you. 422 00:23:13,726 --> 00:23:17,556 I just don't want us to end up alone and turned off... 423 00:23:17,647 --> 00:23:18,557 without a flame. 424 00:23:19,065 --> 00:23:21,435 That won't happen. You know why? 425 00:23:23,653 --> 00:23:24,993 Because we have the flame. 426 00:23:29,117 --> 00:23:30,907 María Fernanda Azpe, 427 00:23:33,746 --> 00:23:35,116 will you marry me? 428 00:23:43,714 --> 00:23:44,724 Yes. 429 00:23:51,264 --> 00:23:53,314 -Did you throw up? -No. 430 00:24:03,151 --> 00:24:04,151 Shit! 431 00:24:05,153 --> 00:24:06,153 Damn candle. 432 00:24:06,237 --> 00:24:08,567 -Team Dafer, fuckers. -Yeah! 433 00:24:11,117 --> 00:24:14,367 That was fun, I hope we can go out again sometime. 434 00:24:14,453 --> 00:24:16,873 Thanks a lot for the invitation. 435 00:24:16,956 --> 00:24:19,746 We don't have to lie, it really sucked. 436 00:24:19,834 --> 00:24:21,544 We'll never go out again, will we? 437 00:24:21,627 --> 00:24:24,707 -Unless you go viral again. -Right. 438 00:24:26,174 --> 00:24:28,514 -My ride is here. -Who? 439 00:24:29,260 --> 00:24:31,050 My second date. 440 00:24:31,137 --> 00:24:34,307 Or did you think I'd finish the night on such a low note? 441 00:24:35,808 --> 00:24:36,808 Of course. 442 00:24:38,144 --> 00:24:41,114 Well, I actually... 443 00:24:42,440 --> 00:24:45,740 thought I'd have more time to... 444 00:24:45,818 --> 00:24:49,278 I think I'm a good person, and... 445 00:24:50,072 --> 00:24:51,992 You're cool, but... 446 00:24:53,576 --> 00:24:54,906 I wanted to... 447 00:24:56,454 --> 00:24:58,874 -I just... -See? 448 00:24:59,790 --> 00:25:02,630 See? See how I can cry? 449 00:25:04,545 --> 00:25:07,005 -Yes, you can! -Yeah. 450 00:25:07,423 --> 00:25:09,933 Do you want me to try and cancel the second date? 451 00:25:10,009 --> 00:25:12,259 No, there. I'm fine. 452 00:25:12,345 --> 00:25:14,305 -Fine. -All right, then. 453 00:25:23,356 --> 00:25:24,436 Loser. 454 00:25:29,654 --> 00:25:31,994 Why so early? Is it past your bedtime? 455 00:25:33,074 --> 00:25:34,534 No, we have to go. 456 00:25:34,867 --> 00:25:38,447 Professor Berberto Strung! 457 00:25:39,622 --> 00:25:41,332 That's me. Good evening. Excuse me. 458 00:25:41,415 --> 00:25:43,535 You don't remember me, jerk? 459 00:25:43,626 --> 00:25:47,706 Just so you recall, we fucked good and hard. 460 00:25:48,506 --> 00:25:50,296 -Remember. -You're confused, miss. 461 00:25:50,383 --> 00:25:52,223 You're a stud, professor! 462 00:25:52,301 --> 00:25:55,511 Fabiana, this isn't what you think. 463 00:25:55,596 --> 00:25:58,766 Come on. Stop pretending you didn't like it, wimp. 464 00:25:58,849 --> 00:26:01,769 -You can't deny you were with me! -You're wrong. 465 00:26:01,852 --> 00:26:05,982 Hey, old man! Stop touching my woman! 466 00:26:06,065 --> 00:26:08,565 This is a mistake. I don't know her. 467 00:26:08,651 --> 00:26:09,991 What mistake, fucker? 468 00:26:10,069 --> 00:26:13,859 What the hell is going on, Fish? You too? 469 00:26:13,948 --> 00:26:16,278 What? You two know each other? 470 00:26:16,367 --> 00:26:17,287 No! 471 00:26:18,828 --> 00:26:20,658 What kind of sick friends do you have? 472 00:26:20,746 --> 00:26:22,826 -They're screwing around. -Fabiana. 473 00:26:22,915 --> 00:26:26,245 I don't have time to waste on immature kids. 474 00:26:26,335 --> 00:26:27,995 I'm Berberto Strung. 475 00:26:29,046 --> 00:26:31,546 It's never been so complicated to get laid. 476 00:26:32,049 --> 00:26:33,049 Really? 477 00:26:33,134 --> 00:26:34,934 -I told you. -Shut up! 478 00:26:35,011 --> 00:26:38,971 Shall we? I know a new place, and it's vegan. 479 00:26:39,890 --> 00:26:41,600 Try growing some marbles. 480 00:26:41,684 --> 00:26:44,274 You can't go off with this creep, Francesca! 481 00:26:47,148 --> 00:26:49,898 -You went too far, Gonzo. -I did you a favor. 482 00:26:49,984 --> 00:26:51,824 I don't need any favors from you. 483 00:26:51,902 --> 00:26:55,412 He's a douche bag who wants to fuck you just because you're his fan. 484 00:26:55,489 --> 00:26:59,619 That's all I wanted too because I'm his fan, stupid! 485 00:26:59,702 --> 00:27:02,502 Just so you know, I'm not getting laid tonight either. 486 00:27:21,057 --> 00:27:23,677 Hey, is the baby comfy enough? 487 00:27:23,768 --> 00:27:25,898 Just... No. 488 00:27:26,395 --> 00:27:29,895 No, sorry. I just came out for some air, I didn't mean to... 489 00:27:30,524 --> 00:27:33,574 You can get air away from my bike. 490 00:27:34,195 --> 00:27:37,195 Yes. Sorry, I don't want any trouble. I apologize. 491 00:27:38,657 --> 00:27:40,527 Hey, I'm kidding! 492 00:27:40,618 --> 00:27:43,248 -Bye, people! -See you later. 493 00:27:43,329 --> 00:27:47,079 Julieta, that's my name. Do you have a name, baby face? 494 00:27:47,833 --> 00:27:50,343 Yeah. Sebastián. Pleased to meet you. 495 00:27:50,836 --> 00:27:52,336 Have you been crying, Sebastián? 496 00:27:54,423 --> 00:27:57,393 Yes, I have, actually. 497 00:27:58,010 --> 00:28:00,680 How cute. I love men who cry. 498 00:28:00,763 --> 00:28:02,353 -You do? -I do. 499 00:28:03,808 --> 00:28:06,018 -You're leaving? -Yes. 500 00:28:07,019 --> 00:28:08,979 -How can I find you? -What? 501 00:28:09,438 --> 00:28:11,768 -Give me your number? -I don't have a phone. 502 00:28:11,857 --> 00:28:15,647 -Your social media accounts, then. -I don't have social media or anything. 503 00:28:19,949 --> 00:28:21,579 How can I find you again? 504 00:28:22,660 --> 00:28:27,540 I don't know. If we already coincided once, we might run into each other again. Bye. 505 00:28:38,717 --> 00:28:39,887 Hey! 34991

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.