Original subtitles

DANISH PILLOW TALK

No, I do not want to... ! You can try.

Only a little suck, for fun? No, it is unnatural!

One reads about it every day. Try it. No... !

It will become much bigger. No, I won't do it!

Try. I would gladly suck on yours.

You are perverted! I am going to ring mum.

The phone is ringing, Hagbard.

Hell! Women... !

You will not be forced into doing something. Marriage is not a brothel.

Then you have to leave him. You will retain the flat and everything.

Yes, I will come soon, Kirsten.

I must go to Kirsten. They must divorce.

They have only just gotten married. Yes... ? He forces her to...

I refuse to say what. Hagbard, it's awful... !

I will take the car. She ought to do what he says.

You don't understand anything about it!

We have given you everything, and you have taken her virtue.

I did Einar when she was 16 years old.

Do you have the broken hymen? Einar probably had some pleasure in it.

She lay still and let it happen. We are decent women.

All men have your rights. He had his too, but this morning...

Don't tell me it was in the middle of the day. That is so perverse!

I give up. I love Kirsten, but there are limits!

You will pay maintenance, you beast!

I'll just take a cold beer with the Major in the garden.

Hagbard, where are you?!

A man must stay in form. An office job requires one to sit on his arse!

Do you regret leaving the military? No. But the leisure is good.

Wine, women and song. You must have enjoyed it a lot.

Yes, but then I met lnger. You've really been lucky.

You have a wonderful wife. If we were not such good neighbors...

... are you telling me she tempts you. Really? That is damned interesting... !

The washroom is there. There are handtowels and hot water.

It is self contained - an entire flat.

There are baths in the cellar that may be used according to the contract.

But I forbade it to the last tenant. She ran around

in an indecent bathrobe. She was naked underneath!

She went out, with my small boy watching. She had visitors in the night.

My boy is at a sensitive age. She advertised in the newspaper

that she liked to be raped. Sign here.

Absolutely not, they would never agree. But the idea is nice to think about.

Wife swapping is quite common in America and England.

What does all this emancipation do if a man cannot get a roll in the hay?

My wife will only do it in the dark. But you are much younger.

We also do it only in the dark. lnger is so bashful.

and she thinks that my body is disturbing.

Also in the dark? Hmm, that is interesting... !

Good day, Mr. Hansen!

Unfortunately I must borrow my husband. I will be there in a moment!

We can talk about this later on. There must be a solution.

I must speak to the neighbors, and ask them to turn down the radio.

Beorje, the new tenant. Egon. The son in the house.

I rinse off the pictures in the bathtub in the cellar.

Do you want to have a beer?

Amateur photographer? Professional photographer.

I work for an electronics company. If there is something particularly exciting

I take them home with me and continue. Like this, for example.

Good heavens! It seems to be like a cunt. You have it upside down.

lntegrated chip, DZ531. What you believe are hairs, are the wires...

I am a saleman. I sell quartz lamps. Yes, you must sell a good many.

Are you happy with the apartment? Yes.

I am newly divorced. I was thrown out into the street.

With the button here you draw the curtain from the bed.

Another hides the mirror. Your mum did not say anything about that.

The girl that lived here was good-looking. I thought maybe...

But before too long mum had thrown her out.

Mum works the night shift every other week.

She watches out for your little brother. I have no little brother.

He must not be exposed to something. There is only me.

Military regulation underwear. Good. You must accustom the wife to your wearing them.

Say that it is from the time in the military, and that you feel comfortable in them.

We need a drawing of our bedrooms. Think of it as a military operation.

Does your wife turn on the light afterwards? Yes.

We turn them on by the wall. The lamps?

Can I sit here?

What are you laughing at? We wanted to go out and to eat in peace...

I do not wish to interfere. I will take another table.

We are for equal opportunity. Men are also fellow creatures.

Sit down. Thanks.

I have removed the bedspread. I am working nights this week.

I am working at home today. Wonderful! Don't overdo it.

Perhaps I will make a time with Beorje and show him my new camera.

He is so nice. He has lived here a week without any problems.

I was married for six months, but... Your marriage is in trouble.

A man only wants to marry a woman in order that she sleep with him.

Yes, you give a glass of water to a thirsty man.

It's abuse of trust. It does not matter, that is what happened.

The first man I have met who does not have sex on the brain.

Are we going to go to my home? It is cheaper to drink at home.

Cheers! Quiet. The hostess lives here

and she does not want for me to have guests. Especially not girls.

The older generation believes that everything is about sex.

They must be missing out on something.

How delightful, my girl... ! Congratulations.

Kirsten has got a job. At last... !

The same thing, every night. It has been 100 years since we lost that war.

What does all this stand for? "Bed and bedside tables"?

Is it something about the military? Yes, actual.

It is a map of a ward of a camp hospital that was attacked in 1948...

Were there nurses then? Yes. Florence Nightingale...

The enemy attacks and calls: "Kill all the men, rape all the women!"

The nurses call: "Spare our beloved matron!"

Then, she calls: "quiet, girls - war is war!"

Disgusting soldier jokes... ! You asked about it.

You can joke if you like. Men always have desire, but might not be able to perform.

Why were you divorced? She did not want to try something new.

Mutual erotisicsm. Intense mutual respect.

Maybe she did not have an orgasm? Orgasm is over rated.

I has never had one. Then, you should try.

Rita wont do it, she says it does not matter. No. Will you play strip poker?

We will see if you are really liberated? Are you afraid to become naked?

Then, lets clear the table.

I have not seen this until now. Lovely.

The hostess mentioned nothing about this. She probably does not know anything about it.

See, I had the bad luck!

I'll take off the dress jacket.

And now the last clothing.

The moment of truth. You are a beautiful, Lily!

Draw, now there is only the two of us, Rita.

I see, now it is my turn. Stand up, just like Lily.

Surely you have nothing to be ashamed of?

I have an idea: Whoever gets the highest card chooses what he or she wants.

What is your desires then? A cup coffee.

Are you crazy?

Do you also want coffee? I would like something else entirely.

First coffee... !

Now, we play one more time.

Do you know what I desire?

What about you, Rita? What do you want to do? I will play solitare.

I think that it is rising up.

Mum works nights this week... !

That is what I call an orgasm. Is that an orgasm?

I came of course, as I usually do. Now it's my turn.

Damn! There should be a large supply in here... !

The most important thing for a night raid is that they keep silent.

I know your bedroom now. But the problem is toothpaste.

We must use same brand. UltraBrite? It is said be sexy.

Buy two tubes. But use dark glasses and a beard.

One has to be careful. When can we do it?

Between midnight and one AM. Which day?

Wednesday. It is our evening. It does not happen every Saturday.

Drinks before, red wine with your food, cognac to the coffee...

... and then we tend to fall asleep! On Wednesday, then?

Yes, why not?

How do you do, Mr. Hansen.

I have a new darkroom assistant for you. Can he do anything?

She is a woman. Here is your boss. Here is a Kirsten Sorensen.

I am called Egon. Come, I will show you the dark room.

Can you close the door?

Kind off you to invite out me. I have had a wonderful day.

The company gives me the addresses. If the customer buys the lamp, I get all the money.

Don't you want a drink? Yes. But I do not want to be alone...

... in such places. I am afraid it is stupid of me.

Check it out... !

I am so happy for the little thing I hold in my hand

I kiss and I caresses you Release me from my face stress you

dear little thing in my hand.

I am so happy for the little thing I hold in my hand

I turn you on with a switch you make me a dream witch

You turn me on in my hand

Do you girls want to try the thing in my hand

I know you boys want to try the thing in my hand

She is wonderful, right? If she was in my bed...

... I would cum on her legs immediately.

You've tried a lot, right? Too little. But I'm going to try everything...

... all, before it is too late. I have not tried anything.

Shocking. I will fix that. You mean it?

Do you see the guy in the bar? It's his birthday...

... and I have promised him a fuck. Are you interested?

What are you doing with my girl? Absolutely nothing.

Has he embarrassed you? I only asked for the toilet.

Disappear!

Do you see the guy in the bar?

Sure.

Gerda. Congratulations on your bithday. It is not my birthday.

I have told her that it is your birthday today.

Now it's my turn.

I promised him a birthday present... ! It is not even his birthday.

I only wanted to get you here. You are a bit cheeky... !

I am completely crazy about you.

He might wake up. I do not want someone watching.

He won't wake up.

Liquor is bad for sex.

It arouses desire in beginning...

... and later...

... inhibits the ability.

You have not drunk too much.

You haven't either.

Good morning.

Food for the sluggard.

Gerda, what the hell are you doing here? I have prettied the place up.

And moved in some of my things. I intend to live here.

Aren't you glad? Are you crazy?!

I will be thrown out if I have someone stay. You have to leave... ! Get... !

Don't say that. I waited until your landlady went to work.

When she comes back you have to be gone... !

Don't talk to your little Gerda like that. I need to go to work!

I will not come back until you are gone... !

I am aware of that! Yes. See you soon.

Kirsten is moving home to us. Isn't it nice?

It is not. A grown daughter should not live at home with her parents.

But she is our only child. Yes. I need fresh air.

Something has happened! Our daughter will move back home. It is far too risky!

Give her sleeping pills. In order for you to get into my wife's bed?!

As you do, with my wife! I have to think about this.

I am going to the factory. Think of something.

Here is the sun you are longing for. You replied to our ad.

Now, I understand. Come in.

The bedroom is the best place.

You set the tripod here... and as you undress yourselves you tan yourselves.

Don't think anything of it. There is nothing to be ashamed of.

You should wait until I have gone. The payment? My husband is coming soon.

Try it for a few days, then get back to me. Here's my card.

I'll try it out, but you have to leave first.

When is the best time to contact you? In the mornings.

You will certainly be pleased. I will let myself out.

Can you bring me some more paper?

Terrible. Where did you find them? On the shelf.

A refined and beautiful girl like you should not see things like that.

You are not so refined if you photograph it. Who is the guy?

Where you have taken it? Home. He rents there. Do you know him?

I have dark room at home, so mistakes can happen.

Egon, you have to see the Director. Okay! You can go for today.

Can I get Egon's address?

There will a delegation from the Far East tomorrow.

The picture of DZ531 is so good that it needs to be enlarged still more.

I should finish that this evening. Good. Then, when it is ready...

... leave it here. Now I am going home to prepare my speech.

Here is the sun you longed for. Great. Step in.

The domestic staff have time off today and my husband is not home.

I cannot not find the TV programme. Is it Wednesday today?

Here comes Kirsten.

Has you are not organized the retreat from Dannevirk yet?

Now, we eat.

The tripod is hung here if this is where you want to disrobe and lie down...

You turn it on with this button here. Set the timer for 12 minutes.

After 14 days, you can increase the time by 5-10 minutes.

Read the brochure carefully. It is best without clothing.

Would you like to have a drink?

Isn't it hot with all your clothes on?

You are seducing me, aren't you? Who, me?!

I need to go to the apartment this evening. I have to water the flowers...

... and I can sleep over there. But you have only just come home... !

Kirsten can do as she want to. Thanks, dad. You understand me.

Hagbard, you should finish your dessert? No, I need to speak to the Colonel.

He thinks only of work. She will be out for the entire night.

We will set the time in the garden Now, the dessert.

Dessert. Over and out, colonel!

I will have desert later.

We synchronize watches now. It is exactly 1912.

What does that means? Twelve minutes after seven.

Exactly 22 minutes after midnight. I will see you here.

What was that? Father has fallen down the hole!

Hansen.

One moment. For you. Director Poulsen from the factory.

Director Poulsen? He is an old military buddy.

Yes, it's me.

Are the arrangements aborted? Only delayed.

You must put a bandage on your foot. Yes, Colonel everything goes according to plan.

Do we have any elastic bandage? I stepped wrong when I got out of the car.

In the medicine cabinet. Do you need any help? No, I can takes care of myself.

You should exercise a little more often, to avoid such things.

Come in!

You seem a bit lost. Can I give you directions?

My husband live here. I want to talk to him.

Do you want his money? He says you are a cold fish.

He is tired of you. Liar... !

You call me a liar? Watch out!

All programmes tonight are equally boring. I am going to bed.

I will just watch the end of the news.

Terribly boring like usual. I am going to lie down.

I will just watch the end of the news.

What are you called? Gerda.

I am called Kirsten.

My husband is coming.

Good evening, young man.

Thank you for caring for my wife so well.

I haven't the energy for such a strenuous business, but I will gladly watch.

I see? OK, then.

Beorje?

Is that you, Egon? Do you know each other?

Only with our clothes on. We should change that... !

Help me.

Everything clear? Yes.

We must swap watches They are not the same.

She is used to to being held on the arse cheeks with both hands.

Good luck... !

I had just fallen asleep, Hagbard. Can't this wait until Saturday?

Why are crawling around on the floor? Stop with that the military silliness!

If you want it, then do it then But hurry up.

Hagbard, do not pull the blankets. I do not want to see anything;

What are you doing?!

What was that? The new quartz lamp. Now, it is broken.

Svend, you are raping me... !

Mum has not told me everything... !

Oh, Hagbard... !

My little stallion... !

Everything went well? What a mature, wonderful woman!

No details, thank you very much. Are you pleased, then?

You could have told me about the lamp. I tipped over, and held on...

... and I was almost identified. Did she find out?

She called me "little stallion". No details, thanks.

I am going mad... !

Egon, you managed it at last? Yes?

And with two girls... ! Kirsten, what are you doing here?

Enjoying life and freedom. You can sleep with him, but...

That's not how you speak to a lady? She is my wife!

An estranged wife. Come here if you want to be involved.

I am totally exhausted. I have worked until now, and I just want to sleep.

Worked? You have gone around and screwed everyone in sight!

You lie here with my one and only friend. I am disappointed in you!

I'm not disappointed. In one night I have learned many things...

... that you have never shown me. Because I respected you, yes.

Who dialed mum, by the way? Stupid apologies... !

Come, Egon.

One will never get involved in family arrangements.

Where is the bathroom? We have time to before mum comes.

Bye, Beorje. Bye, Kirsten.

Call if you would like to apologise.

Apologise?

When one is the spare wheel, It is best to leave.

Stop teasing me... ! I'll just wash you.

Do you do pictures here? I just rinse them off down here.

Indecent picture and so close. You are very proficient.

It is you. Is it my... ?!

What are you doing? I want the negative.

I have it at work. Get it... !

Mom might want to take a bath. I will go to your room later.

Let me in. I am sticky! First the negative!

Can you at least allow me to rinse?

What on earth... ? Why are you outside the bathroom, covered in soap?

I heard someone coming. You are completely naked.

Are you drunk? No. I come straight from work.

I was going to take a bath. I will be in the lab at eight.

My hardworking children... ! I will go and clean up your room.

No! You must not! There are movies that will be destroyed if you enter.

Then I will go to sleep. Sleep well, mom.

May I rinse off now? First the negative!

You need eggs after that forceful performance.

Fried eggs today?

I thought you might need it.

It was wonderful. You were so masculine and violent.

Until now, you have always been so considerate of me.

It was Glorious. You just took me. I'm glad that you enjoyed it.

Surely it was not like the last time? Yes. No. Of course not.

Hagbard, I want to speak with you about something.

We have not talked about much sex. We are both self-conscious.

Is it something wrong? No, quite the opposite.

What you did yesterday, you have never done before. It was so... delicious.

It seems to me you have become a new man. When will you be doing that again?

A large sirloin and a bottle of wine. I will hurry home, for your sake.

You are to hurry home, yes? We will be alone at home tonight.

If you can, with your injured foot. It is much better now.

This, ladies and gentlemen, is the magnification of DZ531.

What did he say? That picture shows...

... the female sexual organ. What?!

It is a cunt. A what? Oh?!

I mixed up the negatives. But I have the microprocessor here.

You have destroyed everything! You are dismissed!

It burned their chops. No, they are enthusiastic about the idea...

... and they want to have both pictures! They consider Denmark to have a high culture.

It will generate about a million orders! Stay, do not go... !

I will triple your salary, if you will only stay!

Oh, you are here? I even slept a little bit last night.

You will get to create a duplicate negative. A lady wants one.

Will it take long? I have to go home and talk a little with Beorje.

The reversal of anger. it revitalizes the love... !

Barracks? It is Svend Hansen. Is the major H. P. M. Sorensen there?

It is highly classified. You do not know? I can only speak with him.

No, of course not.

What has he done to her?

I saw it first. I grabbed it first.

Is it you, Mrs Hansen? We almost quarrelled

because I promised my husband beef. He has injured his right foot.

My husband has injured his left. Strange, isn't it?

Now, I will find him something really good. You keep it.

Just because we are neighbours, we do not need to have the same fine meat?

Here is another one just like it... !

Wake up, it is very late. I have food for you.

You can not live here, Gerda. Leave!

At least you did not say that to your wife.

Is it you, Kirsten? Are you sorry about that?

On the contrary... !

I have learnt a lot in this time.

I have tried a lot of things. However something was always lacking.

I miss you. I was jealous enough yesterday.

Probably because I love you. Really?

Eat now. Then we will go home to our apartment.

Yours, actually. If it doesn't work? Then, I pack again.

I have not packed up yet.

Go ahead, this is it.

Thank you, Egon. What have you done... ?

I intend to stay with you. Aren't you afraid of my mother?

No, I decide for myself now. But you can not.

The bed is too narrow. Then, we will move downstairs.

It will becomes too crowded. Borje has moved home to his wife.

I can afford to acquire a suite of rooms!

Whore - right before my eyes! Stop... ! Cease moving immediately!

Egon?! Mom?... I am adult now...

... so you'll have to get used to it. And who is the woman?

My fianc�e. I am Gerda Loraine. Your Fianc�e?

Yes, if you like.

God bless you, dear children. Stop for a moment.

Keep still until I have blessed you!

Can I help you? You have already dressed for me?

Wait for me in the bedroom. Yes, darling.

I will just go to the bathroom.

Svend, you will come soon?

Yes... !

What are you doing there? It is just like yesterday, isn't it?

Hagbard, you devil!

What is it? Kirsten must have dropped this.

That is our son-in-law. Do you think that is Kirsten?

I have not seen her like that since I changed her diapers.

It is what you did to me yesterday. What?

On the contrary, I think.

So are we going to jump into bed? I want to know how Kirsten is.

If you do not want to, then... We like it, both of us.

Ignore the call. It may be something important.

Mum, has something happened? What's going on?

Borje has moved home with me. We are so excited.

Fine. I was too shocked when he wanted to...

But you should never be afraid of to try something new. Have you eaten?

We have loads of leftovers, so... Thanks, but we but we have plenty of food.

Wonderful, my girl. Did he call you... ?

You sound so absent-minded. Borje, now, I will... !

My God, she must be submitted to her husband!

Better. Much better than yesterday. Yes... !

Just like yesterday you crawl over the floor and up under the blanket.

Stallion... !

Translation:Weine Erickson