Original subtitles

(funky music)

(glass shattering)

(classical music)

- Hey Tom, thank you a lot, thank you for the invitation.

- Well thank you for coming.

- No problem, let me introduce you to uhm...

(classical music)

(gunshot)

- Listen up, motherfuckers.

Do exactly as I say, and nobody gets hurt.

Rule number one, no moving.

Stay exactly as you are, until one of us comes along

with a bag, and asks you to place your valuables in the bag.

Rule number two, no talking, no cellphones.

I see you move, you're dead, you got it?

Okay, let's go.

(anticipating music)

Are you deaf?

I said if you move, you're dead.

(gunshots)

(snap)

- [Hooded figure] Leaving so soon?

I thought you wanted to play.

I love to play.

(screams)

(anticipating music)

- I'm gonna shock the hell outta Trish.

Hurry up Trish, we're starving!

- What are you going to do?

Remember she's our host.

- Oh forget that, she's a big girl.

What are you gonna do?

- You'll see, ssshht, here she comes.

- Hey guys, it's starting to rain out there.

So, what did you decide to play?

Crazy Eights, Hearts, Rummy?

- Better, let's play Strip Poker.

- Oh yeah.

What a great idea.

- I don't know, what do you think, Trish?

- Come on, it'll be fun,

there's no one around to see.

- Okay, but not for too long.

- You mean, not until you lose too many clothes?

(laughing)

- Okay, five card draw, joker's one.

Mandy, you go first.

- I'll take two.

- I'll stand.

- [Group] Oooh!

- I'll take one.

- If I hadn't dealt this hand,

I'd say you all were cheating.

- Okay.

What do you got?

- Let's go in order, Mandy, you first.

- Read 'em and weep!

- Good.

But not good enough!

- Darn, I thought I had a chance.

- Okay, so I lost a hand,

so now, I'm gonna loose this.

(gasping)

- You may not have had the best hand,

but you certainly have the best pair.

- I don't know, mine are pretty good.

- Show them too us then!

- Hey!

- You guys, don't you know the real men aren't into

big boobs?

- They may into them, but they certainly are all over them.

- [Girl in gray tee] Great, how are we gonna

finish our game now?

- [Trish] Hang on, I have a flashlight around here.

Uh guys?

(growling)

(screaming)

(chomping)

- She's just like the one at the Halloween party,

drained of all blood.

- What do you make of it, Doc?

- It's the strangest thing I've ever seen.

There are only a couple of drops of blood

in the entire room, normally,

the walls would be dripping after such a vicious attack.

Do you suppose it was some sort of sick ritual

carried out by a demented psychopath?

- I doubt it was carried out by a well-adjusted psychopath.

Looks like we have one sick puppy on our hands.

- Must be more than one sick puppy,

these murders happened at the same time

as the ones at the Halloween party.

(giggles)

(soft moaning)

(foreboding music)

- This is Tom Brady,

I wanna talk to the Secretary of Defense, Arthur Hayes.

Okay, tell him this is a matter of extreme urgency.

- Thanks so much that Kelly.

About an hour ago, local police received a 911 call

from the distraught parents of a teenage girl.

The parents left the home to get pizza, and when they

returned, they discovered their daughter's three friends,

murdered in her bedroom.

The daughter, Patricia Reynolds, is still missing

at this hour, police (phone ringing)

and the parents are urging... (phone ringing)

- Hello.

Arthur, Tom.

You know you've been looking for that something special?

I think I may have found it.

(foreboding music)

- Oh!

(growling)

(crashing)

- All right Tom, what do you have for me?

- Okay, check this out.

(laughing)

- Well she is gorgeous Tom,

and I'm sure she could answer quite a few

of my needs, but,

I don't think she would be the answer to the need

you mentioned.

- Wait.

(ominous music)

- For the love of God!

- You have found a real life vampire.

Well I don't know if a vampire qualifies as life,

but you definitely have found the real deal.

Jesus Christ Tom, yes, this is exactly what I've been

looking for.

Sims, who's in charge of the FBI this month?

Well get him on the phone.

I don't care what time it is, just get him on the phone.

- Mistress, we found a nest of wonderful

young virgins, and we brought one back for you

as a gift. (sobbing)

- Very good, my daughters.

Have no fear, little one.

No harm will come to you tonight.

I'm going to save you for a midday snack,

tomorrow.

Clean her.

- [Coroner] Remember, you asked to be notified.

- So I did.

What do you have?

- Another bloodless body.

- It doesn't look the same as the others.

His neck isn't ripped out.

- Look lower.

- Oh, Jesus.

Poor bastard.

(phone ringing)

Yeah?

Right now?

Okay, be there in 20 minutes.

- What now?

- Apparently the FBI is interested in this case.

(anticipating music)

So, what can I do for you agent...

- Higgins, Dan Higgins.

I understand that you were the leading investigator

at Tom Brady's house last night.

- Yes, that's right.

- I need you to tell me everything you know.

- We have two DBs,

the first one with his neck crushed.

The other body on the lawn had his neck ripped out.

But no blood anywhere.

But, here's where it gets really strange.

We have two other crime scenes.

One, a dead motorist drained of blood,

the other, a residence with three bloodless teenage girls,

and another one missing.

Do you have any idea what the hell is going on around here?

- The government will release that information

when it feels it is important to do so.

Right now, the government deems it important

for that information to stay confidential.

From here on out, the Federal Government will be handling

these cases.

- I see Jim Thornton was on your guest list, last night.

- Yes.

- He was found dead,

wrapped around a tree in his car, this morning.

- A car accident?

- No, murdered.

Drained of blood like this robber here.

- Oh my God, poor Jim.

- Did he come alone?

- He brought that woman who was dancing on the video,

just before the robbery.

Do you suppose she's the--

- She most certainly looks like the vampire.

Do you know if they left together?

- No, I don't.

They seemed pretty cozy,

I wouldn't be surprised if they didn't.

- Do you know if he had known her long?

- Hah, Jim rarely ever dated the same woman twice,

he had an extreme fear of commitment.

He frequented several bars in the area,

where he'd find his femme du jour.

- You don't happen to know which bars?

(funky music)

Hi, I'd like to ask you some questions.

- Shoot.

- This man, was he in here last night?

- Who, Jim?

Hes a regular.

But he wasn't in here last night though.

Why all the interest?

- All the interest?

- Well there was this Russian dude

who came in asking questions earlier

about him and some hot Asian chick.

I never saw her before though.

- Thanks.

- Sure.

(funky music)

- Excuse me, miss.

I would like to ask you a question

about one of your patrons.

- So long as it's not too personal.

- I was just looking for a friend of mine.

She's beautiful Asian woman,

with a regal bearing,

and when she wears her hair down, it touches the floor.

- Yeah, she was in here last night.

One of my regulars.

- Does she come in her often?

- Often enough.

All the guys crawl over each other

just to get at her.

If I weren't on duty,

I might join them too.

She's that hot.

- Thank you very much.

I will see if I can locate her here some night.

- [Bartender] You wanna leave a note for her?

- No, I want to surprise her.

- You are a Von Helsing.

- What did you say?

- I said, you are a Von Helsing aren't you?

(foreboding music)

- I am descendant from them.

But my name is Ivor Helsing.

How do you notice?

- I've heard of the Von Helsings all my life.

I used to think they were a myth,

but when I saw you at the crime scene earlier,

I knew you were one.

- You're the woman who's arguing with police

at Tom Brady's house.

But again,

I am a Helsing, not a Von Helsing.

- Yeah, because the Empress wiped out

all of the Von Helsings.

Only the family members who fled to Russia

and changed their names were able to hide

from her wrath for a while.

- How do you know this?

- Wow, you're fast.

Most guys take all night to land a hottie like this one.

Can I get you a drink?

- No, we were just leaving.

- [Dan] Excuse me, what are you two doing here?

- We were just looking for old friend.

- Is this the friend you're looking for?

- Where did you see her?

- Ivor, you know many things that I would like to learn,

but then again, I know something that you should.

- [Ivor] Such as?

- Such as this guy is about to arrest us.

- I am going to ask you to come down to headquarters

and answer some questions for me.

- See?

- [Dan] This way, please.

How do you know this woman?

- I've seen her brutally murder my fellow countrymen.

- How is she capable of harming anyone?

- I'll tell you how.

She has the strength of the undead.

- What do you mean?

- She's the prime vampire, she kills humans

to feed on their blood.

She spawned all other vampires.

- (sighs) Believe it or not,

I suspected some of this.

- What, you know this?

- Now I need you guys to tell me

everything that you know about her.

- What more do you need to know, she's a vampire.

- I think I know a lot more of her history than you do.

And I'm best equipped for sharing this.

I have a gift, I'm a psychic.

I'm gonna use this gift

to show you her history as far back as I know it.

Join hands, please.

(eerie music)

Close your eyes, and receive.

This may get intense.

She originally was named Dai Yang.

she was the loving mother of a child destined to be

the next emperor of China, when something changed her.

(sad music)

I don't know what that was,

but whatever it was, that began her reign of lust for blood

and flesh.

(moaning)

(screaming)

(moaning)

(screaming)

(moaning)

(screaming)

- [Psychic woman] My family was then engaged by the Emperor

to ensure that the Empress never returned to China.

After several failed attempts to reenter her homeland,

she traveled the rest of the known world, feeding at will.

(mystical music)

(touching music)

(coughs)

- No, ssshht,

lay quiet, pretty one.

- Where am I?

- My name is Joerg Von Helsing.

You are in my cabin on the Romanian border

of Transylvania.

I found you unconscious on the trail

and brought you here.

- You, rescued me?

- Hah, well, yes.

- No one, no one

has ever rescued me before.

- I was just happy to help.

- I'm sorry, I didn't introduce myself.

I'm Aleta of Transylvania.

I didn't realize I had strayed so far

yesterday, I want to thank you for rescuing me,

Joerg Von Helsing of Romania.

(moaning)

- Oh my.

Well, I'm very pleased

to meet you, Aleta of Transylvania.

Tell me, do all women in Transylvania

thank people so, profusely?

- The grateful ones do,

and I'm a grateful one.

Do you want me to be grateful some more?

- No, no, I, I...

Well, actually yes.

But where are my manners?

May I get you some food or some water perhaps?

- You may.

Do you have any fresh game?

- Yes, I have this rabbit I just caught.

Shall I cook it for you?

- No.

We eat our games differently in Transylvania.

- Aye, that is an unusual way to enjoy game.

Here in Romania we cook it, and eat the meat

on sweetbreads.

- You can still do that if you want to,

but the Transylvania way

is much more nutritious,

and delicious too.

Would you like to try?

- Oh, no thank you.

I've already eaten.

I do need to get some water,

would you like to accompany me to the spring?

(foreboding music)

Do you know how to fill it up?

- See?

Is this right?

- No.

- Hmm...

- You shouldn't have done that.

(Aleta moans)

- [Aleta] Help!

Ah help!

(screaming)

- Help, that is a funny way

to show your gratitude.

(laughing)

- But this isn't?

- [Joerg] No, that's better.

(foreboding music)

(moaning) (giggling)

Aleta, Aleta.

- Yes my dearest Joerg?

- We've slept until the afternoon,

I must go tend to my traps.

Would you like to come with me?

- Oh no, I'm extremely allergic to sunlight.

The smallest amount causes boils on my skin.

You wouldn't want that, would you?

- [Joerg] No, certainly not.

- But I can go out with you, at night.

Hmm?

- Very well, then tonight we shall have another walk.

(whistling)

- Joerg!

- Heinrich.

- Did you hear the news?

- No, what news?

- Last night, across the border,

they discovered why so many people were missing.

- Oh?

- A vampire, (growls).

- What, really?

- Really, and they chased it to a cliff

on the border, there they uh,

pelted it with rocks until it fell off the cliff.

Phew, no more vampire.

- Did they say if it was a man or a woman?

- No, why should it matter, it's dead.

- Right.

- Good afternoon.

Joerg, Heinrich.

What brings you two out?

- Well I was just telling him about the vampire.

- Vampire?

- And now I have to go tell everybody else.

- Yeah, go!

- Good day, Sir Von Helsing.

- Good day to you, Heinrich.

You're not looking too well this evening, son.

- No, I don't suppose I am.

- What seems to be the problem?

- Well my day started out great.

In fact I met the most amazing women in Dobruja,

I must confess, I am losing my heart to her.

- Why, that's wonderful.

What could possibly ruin such a perfect day?

- Heinrich mentioned a vampire had been stoned

at the cliffs last night.

- Yes, I heard.

Why is that a problem?

- I found her at the base of the cliffs,

with a large bump on her head like,

from a rock.

- Do you think this girl fell over during the excitement?

- Yes.

No.

When I asked her if she was hungry,

she wanted one of my rabbits.

- I like your rabbits too, Joerg.

- She didn't want me to cook it.

She bit into it, and drank all the blood out.

And today, when I asked her to come out with me,

she said that the sun irritates her skin,

that it brings about boils.

- Ah this...

This, this is not well.

Not well at all!

- No, it's, it's just hard,

because I have feelings for her.

- You cannot love a vampire,

that is an abomination, an affront to our Lord God!

Surely you know that!

- This I know, but--

- There is no but!

You have a responsibility to your Lord and Savior!

This creature must be destroyed.

(anticipating music)

- Aleta?

We have a guest.

This is my father, Joseph.

- Pleased to meet you.

- Pleased to meet you too, sir.

Isn't it a little early to be meeting the parents?

(laughs)

Are you all right, Joerg?

You seem a little uncomfortable.

- Oh, it's fine.

He twisted his right knee a bit.

Isn't that right?

- Yes, that's right, I twisted my knee.

- So, Aleta.

Joerg tells me that he found you injured in

the woods, last night, yes?

- Yes, Joerg rescued me.

Isn't that heroic?

- Well, yes uh, Joerg has been known

to be the heroic type.

- He's certainly my hero, right Joerg?

Right?

Joerg?

No, Joerg, please!

Look at me!

- Now Joerg, Now!

(screams)

- Are you sure this is what you want, Joerg?

Listen to me!

(growls)

(coughs)

(Joerg screams)

- Father, no!

No Father!

Father, no, no!

No, no!

(crying) No!

How could this be, you should be dead!

- You have sealed your fate, Joerg Von Helsing.

I will not kill you, but I will kill

all of your descendants.

(screams)

With this eye, you will see all of your family die.

You will not join me in love,

so now join me in hate!

Let all Von Helsings cannibalize

their own blood, forever more!

With this I curse you!

- And this is the power that Arthur Hayes

wants to enlist?

I think, intense may be an understatement.

- How did she become a vampire?

- That information has never been unearthed.

But if I can get close enough to her,

I might be able to see more deeply into her past.

- So Dan, why is United States government

so interested in vampires?

- I've been ordered by the Secretary of Defense

to gain an audience with the Empress,

to enlist her unique services in order to further the agenda

of the United States abroad.

(laughs)

- You're kidding right?

That's absurd!

- But we can all work together to find her.

And if she kills everyone that comes to see her,

maybe then Ivor can try and kill her.

Will that be agreeable with you?

- Should she reject our offer completely and try to

kill us, then, I see no reason why you can't kill her.

But, if the negotiations go well,

then will you leave her alone, agreed?

- Sure.

- Okay, so this is the bar where she was seen at.

Tom Brady's house was here.

Over here we have where the girls got slaughtered.

And over here is where we found Jim's car.

So it's a pretty tight cluster,

and I think we should split up and patrol the area.

- There's another way.

I can sense when I'm near the Empress.

I can also see her when I am where she has been.

Take me to the crime scenes

and I will tell you what I see.

(comforting music)

- It is a beautiful morning for a party.

Don't you think?

- [Slaves] Oh yes, Empress.

A perfect morning.

- Fantastic, my darlings.

Fetch the tender nibble you brought in last night,

and prepare her for me.

We will be celebrating.

(eerie music)

(moves into anticipating music)

Deep reds are the burn of desire

Each touch is food for the soul

Sensations are flames in the mire

Come and make me whole

Deep rushes, the burning desire

Sing praises to washing the blood

Our Goddess to witness the lion

She will take you there

Sweet Empress of life everlasting

Let us dance in line here

Sweet Empress of life everlasting

With your saving grace

Sweet Empress of life everlasting

Your hunger is our call

Sweet Empress of life everlasting

Feed us all

Feed us all

(cracking)

(ominous music)

(growling)

- What did you see?

Did you get any information?

- Just further proof that the Empress is really sick.

- I could have told you that.

- Yeah, it was her.

But no indication where she may be.

- [Red-haired vampire] Empress, our present for you.

- Come please me, little one.

(foreboding music)

(moaning)

(growling)

My sweet child.

You are the most delicious treat I have had

in a long time.

Have a taste, my children.

This is a (mumbling).

That's enough, daughters.

Leave enough for my bath.

(ominous music)

And now, my little one,

awake from your sleep.

Let me hear your pain and terror.

(screaming) (laughing)

- It was her brood.

They were feeding.

More feeding.

- Dammit!

- Didn't you say there was one missing?

- Yes, there is one girl unaccounted for.

- They probably took her as a gift for Empress.

(mysterious music)

(screaming)

(laughing)

- Oh, that's more like it.

(heaving)

(eerie music)

- Map, Dan, give her your map.

(heaving)

(gasps)

- Damn man, Aleta must have slit the girl's throat.

Ariana, hurry, you don't have much time now.

(choking)

(puking)

- [Ariana] She's gone.

Did I show you where she is?

- You did a very impressive job, Ariana.

We have a more smaller area to cover now.

- I'll be okay in a minute.

What's the plan?

- Well, I still think that we should split up

and patrol the area.

You two patrol the neighborhood.

Maybe Ariana can sense Aleta's nest.

I'll go search the bar to see if she shows up.

Anybody seen anything?

- Nothing yet.

- No, be patient.

The night is young.

- Wait, hang on, I might be getting something.

- Gah, dammit Steve, can't we go out just once

without you turning into a falling down drunk?

- Hey, I'm all right, you're just walking too fast.

- False alarm, nothing here.

- I better hang up.

I'm having trouble concentrating.

- Right, call back if you hear anything.

(anticipating music)

- Ariana?

Da.

I have activity here at 8613 Juniper Street.

Call Dan and let him know, da.

Oh no.

Shit.

(Ivor groans)

Are you okay?

Here, look at me?

- What?

What happened?

Where am I?

- You were kidnapped by a serial killer

who preys on virgins.

Quick, save yourself, go have sex!

- Tommy?

Hi, it's me.

Uhm, I'm gonna come over.

I think I'm ready to get serious now.

Uh-huh.

Yes, right now.

- Ivor.

(anticipating music)

- Ivor, did you kill a vampire?

This wasn't part of the plan.

- You said not kill Empress, this is run of mill vampire.

- Run of the?

Why, you single-minded--

- Stop it, this will not solve anything.

What can we do to help now?

- We can start by not killing anymore vampires.

(screaming)

- They have killed one of my babies.

I will rip their heads off.

They must pay!

Go, kill those vampire hunters!

Bring them to me.

Don't come back without them.

Go, go, go!

- What is this going to accomplish?

Dan, we're on the same team!

- I'm not sure just what team you're on anymore, Ivor.

And until we get this figured out,

I prefer to know exactly where you two are

and what you're doing.

Michaels, Childers.

Take these guys to headquarters and hold them

until you hear from me.

- That was brave of you,

taking on a vampire by yourself.

- (scoffs) Not really.

I have been trained how to kill them.

But what you did.

Experiencing the latest death ritual,

that was brave.

- That was the worst thing I have ever witnessed.

She's a monster.

So tell me.

Is there a Misses Ivor Helsing?

- Ivor, Ivor, Ivor, Ivor, Ivor, Ivor...

(screaming)

(screaming)

- Oh my God...

Ivor, I'm so sorry.

- Up until that point, I did not understand

my family's obsession with the Empress.

But then I truly understood.

- I understand.

- So to answer your question.

No, there is no longer a Miss Ivor Helsing.

And I won't put anyone else in danger

until the Empress is dead.

- Hey sugar, how about some sugar?

(moaning)

- Hi baby, give a girl a lift?

(growling)

- Oh, you taste good enough to eat!

(growling)

(growling)

So, you are the one who killed Alexandria.

If the Mistress didn't want you for herself,

I would cut you up into tiny little pieces

and feed you to this female.

Maybe I'll just take a little nib,

warm you up for the Empress.

- And what would your Mistress say,

if I showed up with puncture wounds,

other than hers, huh?

She might think you're a naughty little vampire.

Who should be staked.

(screams)

Ariana!

- Remember, do not approach the house.

If I'm not out in half an hour, call for reinforcements,

am I clear?

- Clear.

(doorbell ringing)

(rock music)

- Agent Dan Higgins.

I'd like to speak with the Empress on

official business of the United States government.

Let go, or there will be physical consequences.

- You have the temerity to come to my house

to talk to me,

after you had one of my daughters slaughtered

on my very doorstep?

Pray to whatever God you worship,

for you're going to meet him, now!

- Empress!

The ones who killed your follower have been locked up

for their bad deeds.

I only wish to give you a message from our government.

They see how unique you are, and wanna talk to you about

making you a very beneficial offer.

- Let me show you how unique I am.

Tie his hands.

- No!

(groaning)

(screaming)

(choking)

(moaning)

Empress, please, no.

- Very well, you may leave

to tell your White House,

that if they wish to talk to me,

they need to come here themselves.

It is an insult to send their underling.

- Sir, are you all right?

- She just wanted revenge

for the vampire Ivor killed.

I only survived because I think she's curious

what we want with her.

- Well, what do we want with her?

- I wish I knew, agent.

(eerie music)

- Come on in, you little bitch.

- Come here, get over here.

- Hah.

I'm so glad that we finally meet.

Your family has kept me from my beloved

China for centuries.

I won't forget that.

I have a number of games planned for you.

Doesn't that sound like fun?

(baby crying)

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh...

(mystical music)

(moves into ominous music)

(growls)

(screaming)

- Now, go find that vampire hunter

so we can begin.

I can't wait to bathe in their blood.

(calming music)

- [Dan] Good morning, Mr. Secretary.

- Good morning Agent Higgins, what do you have for me?

- We have located the one you sought,

her name is Aleta, or the Empress.

In my brief meeting with her sir,

she beat with a whip, strangled me,

stripped me...

Raped me and almost drank my blood.

- She raped you?

- Yes sir.

- Really? (laughs)

What an appetite this creature has.

- It was terrifying, sir.

- Uh-huh, did you set up a meeting for me?

- She said anybody who wants to meet

her has to come to her house.

- Well I suppose we could arrange that with

the Secret Service.

- I must say sir, she is the most dangerous person

I've ever encountered in all my years with the Bureau.

I can't recommend you follow through with this.

- Well, at least she didn't kill you, that's something.

- You expected her to kill me?

- Well we both knew that was a possibly right?

But the good news is, she has agreed to a meeting.

Now we just need to arrange for adequate security.

See if you can arrange that with the Secret Service

for about two o'clock this afternoon.

Oh and Agent Higgins,

I'd like to commend you on a job well done.

Now, if I can just keep this out of the drink.

(whip cracking) (ominous music)

- I am extremely disappointed with

your increasing incompetence.

First, I ask you to bring me more virgins.

And that you bring me vampire hunters who killed

one of my children.

Then, all I ask is that you bring them in

to face justice.

And then what happens?

All of you show up back here, empty-handed.

Because the sun came out.

Boo-hoo.

I should've sent you all out to bake in the sun.

Just look at this poor girl.

I bet none of you offered her food or drink.

Quick, get her some water.

Ah, oh you look tired.

Here you go my dear.

Ha, ha.

Did you really thing I would offer you comfort

in my house?

Killer of my children?

You don't like me now?

I don't know why.

After all...

I like you!

Hah, you feel good.

I guess there is no reason

I can't have a little fun with you

before Ivor gets here, is there?

(spits)

(growls)

Continue this play my faithful ones.

To instruct this newcomer on proper manners.

Just no cuts or bruises.

And no biting.

(whip cracking)

(growling)

- The sunlight doesn't agree with her,

she wants you to come in.

She said she'd make such an honorable guest very welcome.

(mystical music)

- My dear Empress.

I am so pleased to meet you at last.

- Mr. Secretary.

The pleasure is all mine.

- For you my dear.

Pretty flowers, for a pretty lady.

- Why thank you Mr. Secretary.

So, what can I do for you, Mr. Secretary?

- Well I must confess,

I've just become aware of your existence

and your incredible power over the last few days.

- Very well.

Can I get you something to drink?

Scotch, water?

Blood?

- No thank you.

I'm fine, for now.

- You might say that all your assumptions are true.

Why (mumbling) bring the honorable Secretary of Defense

to pay me a visit?

- Perhaps we could have such

sensitive discussions in private.

Just between us?

- Daughters.

Escort our guests to the antechamber,

and then entertain them.

So?

What is it that interests you, Mr. Secretary?

- Call me Arthur, please.

A person with your unique abilities, would be a great

asset

to our country.

We have been seeking someone with your particular skill set

for quite some time.

Someone to carry out covert operations,

without links to our government.

For instance uh,

imagine if you will,

a high-ranking cabinet meeting of the leaders

of a hostile government.

Imagine the benefit to us if none of them left that room

alive, save except of course for

a most attractive operative.

Such a person would be highly regarded,

and highly rewarded by the Defense Department.

(laughs)

- My dear Arthur, look around you.

Does it look like I need any money?

Stop and think a moment, Arthur.

What would the coin of my realm be?

Money?

No.

What do I need everyday of my existence?

Blood.

Preferable the blood of virgins.

And do you know how hard it is

to find virgins these days?

- Actually, that is a subject I am quite familiar with.

It is surprisingly easy to purchase a girl's virginity

in the third world countries

that I often visit.

- I'm so glad that we share a common interest.

And please call me Aleta.

Perhaps if you were to arrange to have

two or three virgins delivered to me, daily,

we could have a beginning of

a mutually beneficial relationship.

- As much as I would like to provide them for you,

the United States government could not be involved

in such wholesale murder of innocents.

Virgin sacrifices, as it were.

- What is the difference between providing me

two or three virgins a day

to prevent escalation of hostilities?

Worse is, having your military deployed

on foreign soil,

and killed in mortal combat.

Aren't they both giving their lives

to protect their country?

You wouldn't even need to use your own homegrown virgins.

Remember, how easy you said,

it was to purchase them

in other countries.

I'm sure we could work something out.

- You must work very hard

to keep your important government officials safe.

Considering the many dangers out there.

- We specialize in a coordinated effort.

The Secret Service, the FBI,

the CIA and even your local law enforcement,

we all work in tandem, creating a one mile perimeter

of safety before any of our government officials arrive.

- Oh, that sounds so very impressive,

you must be a very special man.

Agent...

- Dirk.

Agent Sam Dirk.

- You need to stop calling me ma'am.

My name is Elissa.

Do you like my name?

- Yes ma'am, uh, Elissa.

That's a very nice name.

- Are you gonna call me ma'am also?

- Only if you don't tell me your name first.

- Candace.

- Well hi, Candace.

- You know, you don't have to be so shy,

you could be enjoying yourself

while waiting for your boss to complete his business

with the Empress.

- We're on duty!

While on duty, I will protect the Secretary.

- The Secretary of Defense is in no danger,

he's the invited guest of the Empress,

and as such enjoys her complete protection.

I, on the other hand,

am feeling quite vulnerable.

Won't you protect me instead?

I would be very...

Grateful.

(sneaky music)

I hope you know

I find you quite appealing

Nothing turns me on

Like what I'm feeling

I've heard some things

About what you can do, dear

A little thing like you could be

Of use here

You big strong men make girls like me

Go crazy

I'm thinking that you're just about

To take me

Your lips are looking form

And quite inviting

I wouldn't mind a little

Playful biting

If life has taught us anything

It's difficult to know

What life may bring

Time is overrated

Underused and complicated

We'll stop it in its tracks

Think after we act

Relax and we'll take care

Of everything

I wish the boys at work

Could see what's on here

They'd work for free

To get a look at this here

I'm quite intrigued by what you have

Proposed, dear

And since you've given me some food

For thought, here

I suppose this one time

Won't affect me

Don't tell the guys this girl

Could really get me

If life has taught us anything

It's difficult to know

What life may bring

Time is overrated

Underused and complicated

We'll stop it in its tracks There is something we learn

From everything

Think after we act It's difficult to know

What life will bring

Relax and we'll take care

Of everything

- Your negotiating skills are quite...

Seductive, Aleta.

Still, I think I would have a hard time...

Selling this on the Hill.

Maybe, we could stage a coup

and set you up

as the head of one the unstable governments.

Tell me.

How is knowledge of the Middle East?

- From (mumbling)

to (mumbling)

deeply.

For many of its people

nothing has changed since the first (mumbling).

They leave and die.

They see mindless lies.

Their ancestors did 8,000 years ago.

And, there is something else

that has changed

very little.

(moaning)

This country, doesn't it have nuclear weapons?

Hmm?

- Oh yeah, that's the one.

Your first order of business would be to disarm them.

Phew.

- Now.

Don't get me wrong.

I do love times of war.

We can kill wantonly and no one notices.

Nobody misses, one or two could disappear.

Missing In Action, they call it.

Missing In Aleta is more like it.

And now...

Part of the Secretary

is also missing in Aleta.

(moaning)

- That was sweet.

Very sweet.

You said you liked times of war.

I hope if we put you in charge of a country

you wouldn't want to start a new war.

- Listen.

If I were to rule a country,

it would be on my own terms.

I answer to no one.

- Perhaps we're better off with my initial idea

of having you work as an operative.

But there's still the issue of payment.

So I can't promise you anything at this point.

But I'll give it my best try.

- Oh, first you offer me a country to govern,

and now,

you offer me nothing?

Perhaps it's just as well.

I could easily create vampire armies.

The soldiers that were immortal and more powerful

than human armies, I could--

- Wow, wow, wow, hang on there Missy,

I thought we were negotiating a working agreement here?

I just a need little time to make things happens.

You know how it is in politics.

- I know how it is to be dealing with an underling

who wields no real power.

I have told your agent to bring me that person

who could negotiate for this country.

You obviously are not that person.

You are dismissed.

- Now you listen here,

the United States government is not gonna sit idly by

while you attempt to take over a country.

And then rule it by yourself without any direction from us.

You'd be facing the direst consequences of your existence,

Empress.

- How dare you enter my house and treat me

like a possession of your country?

I owe no country allegiance.

I absolutely don't answer to any powerless,

petty bureaucrat.

Who comes to negotiate with impudent cockiness.

(growls)

Let me show you what real power is.

- Dirk, Atwell, code red!

- Dinner! (growls)

- [Arthur] Code red!

- Oh but I thought you said the Secretary would be safe?

- [Elissa] Oh, I'm sorry, did you think I was a boyscout?

I lied, you pathetic human protein bar.

- I don't think your agents will be coming anytime soon,

I'm sure they are preoccupied with having

their blood sucked dry.

- Did you think I would come into your hell's den

without some added protection?

Back up, bitch.

- What would you suppose the importance of

a religious symbol would be on someone

who doesn't practice that faith?

My guess is that,

it would have no effect.

Yum yum time!

(growls)

(groans)

(spits)

Herpes!

- Oh poor baby, did that hurt?

Yeah?

I betcha it really hurt. (hissing)

(anticipating music) (glass shattering)

- Not so tough without your stakes,

what are you going to do now, vampire hunter?

- I'm going to share my garlic lunch with you.

(heaving)

(coughs)

- Where do you guys get the idea

that vampires are allergic to garlic?

I just hate the crude humans that blow

it in my face.

So disgusting!

(anticipating music)

(the agents mumble to each other)

- [Dan] Oh my God!

(gunshots)

Emergency, emergency!

Agents down, Secretary down,

send medical backup!

- Are you okay, did they hurt you?

- They hurt me, but I'll be okay in a minute.

I think I know how we might be able to defeat the Empress.

- Yeah of course.

We're going to ram a stake through her black rotting heart.

- I don't think that would have any effect.

She's not just a vampire.

(growling)

- What have you done to my babies?

Now it is your turn to die!

(Aleta groans)

This splinter can't harm me.

I'm immortal!

Nothing can kill me.

But I can kill, at will!

(electricity sizzling)

(anticipating music)

(electricity sizzling) (screaming)

- Ancestors, come, join me!

I need your power.

(hallowing music)

(electricity sizzling)

Witch!

Go ahead and make your incantations.

When you tire, and your spells weaken,

you will see who your master is.

(laughs)

(anticipating music)

(screams)

(electricity sizzling)

(screams) (electricity sizzling)

(screams)

Come, help me out!

(screams)

(Ivor groans)

(Aleta screams)

(screams)

(heaving)

(electricity sizzling)

(screams)

(screams)

(screams)

(screams)

(screams)

- We've had enough of you, bitch.

(screams)

Return to your dark hellhole for all of eternity!

(Aleta screams)

Ariana!

You did it, it worked!

I never thought you could have the power

to vanquish her yourself.

- I didn't, not by a long shot.

So I summoned those who could.

My ancestors and the scientists

who opened the wormhole.

- You're a genius, Ariana.

A magical, mystical genius.

- Maybe now that she's gone

you don't have to just kiss me on my forehead.

(romantic music)

- What's the situation?

- Hopefully you'll find no one alive in there,

except for maybe a victim.

And if someone bites you,

jab a stake through their heart.

- Sir?

- Never mind, it's just a cleanup job at this point.

- What about them,

weren't they the two arrested last night?

- Nah, that was just protective custody.

We're trying to keep 'em out of harm's way.

- And what is that they're taking with them?

- That agent,

is hope for a better future.

(screams)

(calm music)

(moves into anticipating music)