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Bowling.
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00:00:11,211 --> 00:00:13,680
One of the world's oldest sports.
3
00:00:13,713 --> 00:00:16,116
Artifacts date bowling back
to Ancient Egypt
4
00:00:16,149 --> 00:00:20,353
and the Roman Empire over
5,000 years ago.
5
00:00:20,387 --> 00:00:21,688
Or as my mom would say,
6
00:00:21,721 --> 00:00:24,224
"About the same age as the earth."
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00:00:26,760 --> 00:00:30,096
Modern rules were established
in 1895.
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00:00:30,130 --> 00:00:31,765
In New York City,
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00:00:31,798 --> 00:00:34,467
and have since evolved into
what is widely regarded
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00:00:34,501 --> 00:00:37,637
as the highest form of
competition among man.
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00:00:37,670 --> 00:00:40,807
You got one competitor, ten pins,
12
00:00:40,840 --> 00:00:43,843
and a polyurethane ball.
13
00:00:43,877 --> 00:00:45,812
Some play for fun,
14
00:00:45,845 --> 00:00:48,214
others compete for glory.
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00:00:48,248 --> 00:00:52,318
I bowl because it's who I am.
16
00:00:52,352 --> 00:00:54,120
I'm Emily Baardsson and
you're watching...
17
00:00:58,458 --> 00:01:01,327
Ah, jeepers.
18
00:01:55,982 --> 00:01:58,485
Here in Roseau County,
19
00:01:58,518 --> 00:02:02,355
We do a big bowling event
every year at my alley.
20
00:02:02,388 --> 00:02:04,357
Actually, It's not my alley.
21
00:02:04,390 --> 00:02:07,293
Uh, it was my Uncle Harley's,
22
00:02:07,327 --> 00:02:10,630
Uh, but he's dead now.
23
00:02:10,663 --> 00:02:13,900
I run it, well,
I guess it is my alley.
24
00:02:13,933 --> 00:02:17,270
Anyway, we call it the, uh,
wait for it,
25
00:02:17,303 --> 00:02:18,671
The Roseau Bowl.
26
00:02:18,705 --> 00:02:20,640
You know, 'cause the football game.
27
00:02:20,673 --> 00:02:22,976
Anyway, it really is a big event
around here every year.
28
00:02:23,009 --> 00:02:24,777
This year we're gonna reopen
29
00:02:24,811 --> 00:02:26,513
The open-age, open-gender
brackets to figure out
30
00:02:26,546 --> 00:02:28,281
Who is the absolutely best bowler.
31
00:02:28,314 --> 00:02:29,716
It's a question that's on
everybody's mind,
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00:02:29,749 --> 00:02:31,384
and we just have a right to know.
33
00:02:31,417 --> 00:02:33,453
So that's what we're gonna do,
and plus,
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00:02:33,486 --> 00:02:35,922
it should get me a whole bunch of
extra moolah from concession sales.
35
00:02:35,955 --> 00:02:38,758
'Cause last time we did the
open-age, open-gender bracket,
36
00:02:38,791 --> 00:02:42,462
concession sales went through
the roof.
37
00:02:42,495 --> 00:02:45,965
I mean, you're not making a
bunch of money on shoe rentals.
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00:02:45,999 --> 00:02:50,370
You're not. If we can avoid a
post-tourney controversy this time,
39
00:02:50,403 --> 00:02:54,541
we may make the open-age,
open-gender bracket a regular thing.
40
00:02:58,912 --> 00:03:00,313
Friggin' fountain drink.
41
00:03:02,015 --> 00:03:05,251
That was the first episode
of my video blog,
42
00:03:05,285 --> 00:03:10,290
Which was, jeez, wow,
it was six years ago now.
43
00:03:10,323 --> 00:03:13,459
So, yeah, got a bunch of
comments about the title.
44
00:03:13,493 --> 00:03:16,296
Holy buckets. I had no idea people
were gonna take it like that.
45
00:03:18,464 --> 00:03:20,033
So I quickly changed it
to "Emily's Turkeys"
46
00:03:20,066 --> 00:03:22,402
For the next episode.
You know, because of the whole
47
00:03:22,435 --> 00:03:23,903
three strikes in a row thing?
48
00:03:23,937 --> 00:03:25,705
You're looking at "Emily's Turkeys."
49
00:03:25,738 --> 00:03:28,408
After getting a bunch of
inappropriate nipple comments,
50
00:03:28,441 --> 00:03:31,010
I switched it to "Emily XXX,"
'cause I figured
51
00:03:31,044 --> 00:03:32,679
It's the same thing as
bowling a turkey,
52
00:03:32,712 --> 00:03:33,746
except not dirty.
53
00:03:36,449 --> 00:03:37,917
What the frick was I thinking?
54
00:03:37,951 --> 00:03:40,320
To be fair, that video got a
lot of views,
55
00:03:40,353 --> 00:03:42,956
But I don't think it's what the
people were expecting, you know?
56
00:03:42,989 --> 00:03:45,024
So after that,
I made the final decision
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00:03:45,058 --> 00:03:47,327
To call it "Rollin' with Emily,"
58
00:03:47,360 --> 00:03:50,263
and, uh, that's what my video
blog's been called ever since.
59
00:03:58,972 --> 00:03:59,973
Oh, yeah.
60
00:04:02,342 --> 00:04:03,910
I suppose living legend
61
00:04:03,943 --> 00:04:07,013
would be an appropriate way
to refer to Gunnar Solberg.
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00:04:08,982 --> 00:04:10,817
No, no, after you.
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00:04:10,850 --> 00:04:13,019
Jeez Louise, go already.
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00:04:13,052 --> 00:04:16,022
I mean, how many people can
say they've dominated
65
00:04:16,055 --> 00:04:18,458
ten out of the last 12 Roseau Bowls?
66
00:04:18,491 --> 00:04:19,959
Gunnar can say that.
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00:04:19,993 --> 00:04:21,527
He says it all the time.
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00:04:21,561 --> 00:04:23,096
Ten for 12, Baby.
Ten of 12.
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00:04:23,129 --> 00:04:25,632
Ten of the last 12.
Last seven straight.
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00:04:25,665 --> 00:04:27,600
Ten for 12? Literally.
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00:04:27,634 --> 00:04:29,769
I'll learn you something else,
72
00:04:29,802 --> 00:04:31,471
about five years ago,
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00:04:31,504 --> 00:04:33,473
they did an open bracket.
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00:04:33,506 --> 00:04:37,010
Not only did I dominate
my cousin Emily
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00:04:37,043 --> 00:04:39,912
so hard that she quit competing,
76
00:04:39,946 --> 00:04:43,783
they closed the open bracket forever,
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00:04:43,816 --> 00:04:47,487
till like the end of time.
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00:04:47,520 --> 00:04:50,123
I mean, until now.
79
00:04:50,156 --> 00:04:51,991
I guess that's what you get
for going to college
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00:04:52,025 --> 00:04:54,460
thinking you're better than
everybody else.
81
00:04:54,494 --> 00:04:57,030
You ain't better than
Gunnar Solberg...
82
00:04:57,063 --> 00:04:59,565
Fart Face!
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00:04:59,599 --> 00:05:02,468
She'll know what I'm talking about.
84
00:05:02,502 --> 00:05:04,971
I can do a close up on "Fart Face"
If you guys need it.
85
00:05:05,004 --> 00:05:09,409
Nah.
Like... All right.
86
00:05:21,187 --> 00:05:22,822
Hi, I'm Barry Williams.
87
00:05:22,855 --> 00:05:25,825
I work here at the Warroad
Bowling Alley.
88
00:05:25,858 --> 00:05:27,727
Um, mostly I do my working in..
89
00:05:27,760 --> 00:05:29,729
Uh, frickin' face is itchy..
90
00:05:29,762 --> 00:05:32,765
Uh, mostly work in, Uh, concessions,
91
00:05:32,799 --> 00:05:35,468
but when my cash drawer
comes out on point
92
00:05:35,501 --> 00:05:37,970
for three days in a row,
93
00:05:38,004 --> 00:05:39,906
Alan lets me hit up shoe duty.
94
00:05:39,939 --> 00:05:42,675
So it's pretty, um,
95
00:05:42,709 --> 00:05:44,677
You know, it's whatever, you know?
96
00:05:44,711 --> 00:05:46,112
It's pretty cool.
97
00:05:53,086 --> 00:05:55,121
I retired from competitive bowling
98
00:05:55,154 --> 00:05:58,758
about five years ago,
after the last open tournament.
99
00:05:58,791 --> 00:06:01,494
It, uh, it wasn't because of
Gunnar beating me.
100
00:06:01,527 --> 00:06:04,564
Or, uh, you know, him rubbing
it in my face real bad afterwards,
101
00:06:04,597 --> 00:06:06,532
or, you know,
102
00:06:06,566 --> 00:06:09,769
because of what happened to
my dad.
103
00:06:09,802 --> 00:06:11,671
I mean, yeah, sure,
he was a real jerk
104
00:06:11,704 --> 00:06:13,673
and, uh, he made me feel
real lousy about it,
105
00:06:13,706 --> 00:06:15,208
But that's not why I quit.
106
00:06:15,241 --> 00:06:16,843
You know, I just got..
107
00:06:16,876 --> 00:06:19,178
I got too much on my plate now,
you know?
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00:06:19,212 --> 00:06:21,514
Mmm.
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00:06:21,547 --> 00:06:25,852
I mean, I just got too much
to do, you know?
110
00:06:25,885 --> 00:06:28,821
Oh, I'm super excited for
the tournament this year,
111
00:06:28,855 --> 00:06:30,890
but I try to compete
to be a bowling guy,
112
00:06:30,923 --> 00:06:32,625
I'm not a bowler.
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00:06:32,658 --> 00:06:35,962
My dream, actually,
is to try to be a singer.
114
00:06:35,995 --> 00:06:37,964
You know, like, Uh, Justin Bieber.
115
00:06:37,997 --> 00:06:39,932
Um, but if you guys wanted,
116
00:06:39,966 --> 00:06:41,801
I could probably do a quick
fast singing
117
00:06:41,834 --> 00:06:43,669
for you to hear me do that.
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00:06:43,703 --> 00:06:46,572
Uh, one, two, three, four.
♪ I'm so
119
00:06:46,606 --> 00:06:48,908
I've been running my video
blog which,
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00:06:48,941 --> 00:06:51,911
You know, gets literally dozens
of hits every week.
121
00:06:51,944 --> 00:06:53,613
And, um,
122
00:06:53,646 --> 00:06:54,947
I've been training my favorite aunt..
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00:06:54,981 --> 00:06:57,116
Ooh. Friggin' bump.
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00:06:57,150 --> 00:06:59,485
I've been, uh, training
my favorite Aunt Donna
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00:06:59,519 --> 00:07:01,487
to be a bowler, which is, uh,
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00:07:01,521 --> 00:07:03,656
which is where
we're heading right now,
127
00:07:03,689 --> 00:07:06,092
and I'm teaching fifth grade
right here in Warroad.
128
00:07:08,828 --> 00:07:10,263
You know, I'd like to see
Gunnar get in
129
00:07:10,296 --> 00:07:11,831
the physical peak condition
necessary to compete
130
00:07:11,864 --> 00:07:13,099
with that kind of workload.
131
00:07:13,132 --> 00:07:14,667
No siree Bob.
He couldn't do it.
132
00:07:17,170 --> 00:07:19,238
So that's why I friggin' retired.
133
00:07:22,809 --> 00:07:24,777
Yeah, I know Emily has a
fancy job,
134
00:07:24,811 --> 00:07:26,779
but she's such a idiot.
135
00:07:26,813 --> 00:07:29,282
I get this whole basement to myself.
136
00:07:29,315 --> 00:07:31,117
Rent free. Boom!
137
00:07:31,150 --> 00:07:32,985
And then I'll blow it up.
138
00:07:33,019 --> 00:07:35,154
I do still get to the lanes
quite a bit.
139
00:07:35,188 --> 00:07:36,923
Uh, actually, I, uh,
140
00:07:36,956 --> 00:07:39,792
took my fifth graders
bowling last week,
141
00:07:39,826 --> 00:07:43,796
and, uh, oh, I gotta tell ya,
Jeez Louise,
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00:07:43,830 --> 00:07:46,098
one of my students,
who I shall not name,
143
00:07:46,132 --> 00:07:47,800
Jared H.,
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00:07:47,834 --> 00:07:50,603
Somehow managed to bowl
in the single digits.
145
00:07:56,876 --> 00:07:58,544
He had bumpers and everything.
146
00:07:58,578 --> 00:08:01,547
I mean, I didn't even know
that was possible.
147
00:08:01,581 --> 00:08:03,149
He scored a seven!
148
00:08:07,720 --> 00:08:10,957
It is times like that it is real
tough to stay professional, you know?
149
00:08:13,726 --> 00:08:15,761
I mean, friggin' seven.
And plus,
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00:08:15,795 --> 00:08:17,163
when I win the Roseau Bowl,
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00:08:17,196 --> 00:08:19,966
I get like $3,000 in cash and
gift cards.
152
00:08:19,999 --> 00:08:22,602
So who's the dummy now?
153
00:08:22,635 --> 00:08:25,204
It's Emily.
154
00:08:25,238 --> 00:08:26,606
And I'll learn you something else,
155
00:08:26,639 --> 00:08:27,840
Gary down at the bowling alley
156
00:08:27,874 --> 00:08:30,042
lets me bowl for free
whenever I want.
157
00:08:30,076 --> 00:08:31,577
I'm sorry. Who's Gary?
158
00:08:31,611 --> 00:08:33,813
You know Gary.
159
00:08:33,846 --> 00:08:36,115
The weird dude that works at
the bowling alley.
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00:08:36,148 --> 00:08:38,784
Oh, are you referring to Barry?
161
00:08:38,818 --> 00:08:40,353
Could be.
162
00:08:40,386 --> 00:08:43,256
He's the one with dong broom
on his lip
163
00:08:43,289 --> 00:08:44,991
and the toadstool haircut.
164
00:08:45,024 --> 00:08:47,693
I think he might be a little,
Derpy Derp or something.
165
00:08:47,727 --> 00:08:49,829
You know?
That friggin' guy!
166
00:08:49,862 --> 00:08:51,697
Gunnar's pretty much one of
my best friends.
167
00:08:51,731 --> 00:08:54,734
I mean, it's kind of one of
the perks of working here
168
00:08:54,767 --> 00:08:56,335
and at the movie theater,
169
00:08:56,369 --> 00:08:58,704
uh, where we have two screens now.
170
00:08:58,738 --> 00:09:00,339
Um, and, uh..
171
00:09:00,373 --> 00:09:02,642
Because I get to meet
all the, like, the really,
172
00:09:02,675 --> 00:09:04,744
the popular guys when they
come in and,
173
00:09:04,777 --> 00:09:08,014
but I would, I'd probably say
Gunnar's the biggest, like, star
174
00:09:08,047 --> 00:09:09,882
that I'm best friends with.
175
00:09:09,916 --> 00:09:11,918
I think he works at the movie
theater, too,
176
00:09:11,951 --> 00:09:14,387
because I went to go see
Jackie Chan's "First Strike"
177
00:09:14,420 --> 00:09:16,389
Because I thought it was a
bowling movie,
178
00:09:16,422 --> 00:09:18,257
and I was way off,
179
00:09:18,291 --> 00:09:21,193
but it was still a pretty
good movie.
180
00:09:21,227 --> 00:09:25,264
It was actually a really good movie.
181
00:09:25,298 --> 00:09:28,401
Like, super bad-ass movie
if you haven't see it.
182
00:09:28,434 --> 00:09:29,902
But, um...
183
00:09:32,972 --> 00:09:35,875
I'm not quite sure where I was
going with that, um...
184
00:09:37,310 --> 00:09:39,779
It was a good movie.
185
00:09:39,812 --> 00:09:41,714
You guys should, um,
186
00:09:41,747 --> 00:09:44,750
you should check it out.
It's a pretty good movie.
187
00:09:52,758 --> 00:09:54,760
You got this. Five more.
I can't.
188
00:09:54,794 --> 00:09:56,729
Hey, don't you use
that filthy word around me.
189
00:09:59,265 --> 00:10:02,768
Believe it or not, I used to be quite
the bowler. State champ in high school.
190
00:10:02,802 --> 00:10:05,137
Now I don't mean to toot my own
horn about that or nothing,
191
00:10:05,171 --> 00:10:07,006
but, you know, toot-toot!
192
00:10:07,039 --> 00:10:09,008
Oh, Hon, don't act like an idiot.
193
00:10:09,041 --> 00:10:10,876
You don't want people to think
you're an idiot.
194
00:10:10,910 --> 00:10:12,078
'Cause he's not an idiot.
195
00:10:12,111 --> 00:10:13,346
But ever since the Carpal Tunnel,
196
00:10:13,379 --> 00:10:15,047
I haven't been able to bowl.
197
00:10:15,081 --> 00:10:17,149
So I spend my free time
training this little lady.
198
00:10:17,183 --> 00:10:18,818
Aw, Hon.
How, uh,
199
00:10:18,851 --> 00:10:20,353
how'd you guys meet?
Ooh.
200
00:10:20,386 --> 00:10:22,088
It's a pretty funny story, actually.
201
00:10:22,121 --> 00:10:23,990
Hey, why don't you tell him, Sweetheart?
202
00:10:24,023 --> 00:10:26,792
Oh, about how we're cousins
or about where we first met?
203
00:10:26,826 --> 00:10:28,461
Oh, talk about how we worked together
204
00:10:28,494 --> 00:10:30,329
at Christian Brothers Hockey Sticks.
205
00:10:30,363 --> 00:10:32,231
Yeah, but, I.. We're not cousins.
206
00:10:32,264 --> 00:10:34,467
Well, I think the cousin thing
is a lot more interesting.
207
00:10:34,500 --> 00:10:36,168
Yeah, I definitely want to hear
the cousin thing.
208
00:10:36,202 --> 00:10:38,437
See, Hon, I told ya.
Okay, first off,
209
00:10:38,471 --> 00:10:41,173
we're not blood cousins.
It's through marriage.
210
00:10:41,207 --> 00:10:44,243
And, uh, second, I feel like
in a town this size,
211
00:10:44,276 --> 00:10:46,779
pretty much everyone's related,
so, you know?
212
00:10:46,812 --> 00:10:50,116
Hey, what the (bleep)
are you laughing about? Huh?
213
00:10:50,149 --> 00:10:52,451
You know, love has no DNA.
214
00:10:52,485 --> 00:10:56,455
So if two cousins fall in love
and want to marry each other,
215
00:10:56,489 --> 00:10:58,724
then so be it, okay?
Okay, but again,
216
00:10:58,758 --> 00:11:02,194
I just wanna clarify
that we are not blood cousins.
217
00:11:02,228 --> 00:11:04,730
Okay, we were already in our
thirties and married
218
00:11:04,764 --> 00:11:06,232
when my mom married her dad.
219
00:11:06,265 --> 00:11:07,933
Yeah.
Yeah.
220
00:11:09,201 --> 00:11:11,871
Oh, jeez.
221
00:11:11,904 --> 00:11:14,173
Oh, I guess that makes us siblings.
222
00:11:14,206 --> 00:11:16,042
Whew. Ski-u-mah.
223
00:11:16,075 --> 00:11:18,044
Ah, who gives a (bleep)?
224
00:11:18,077 --> 00:11:19,745
You know, my parents are first cousins,
225
00:11:19,779 --> 00:11:21,814
and we all turned out fine.
226
00:11:21,847 --> 00:11:24,984
Well, your brother.
227
00:11:25,017 --> 00:11:27,853
What?
I'm just saying.
228
00:11:27,887 --> 00:11:29,955
He's awfully rude.
229
00:11:29,989 --> 00:11:32,291
Well, yeah,
my brother tells rude jokes
230
00:11:32,324 --> 00:11:33,526
and they're dirty.
Yeah.
231
00:11:33,559 --> 00:11:35,261
But they're funny as hell.
232
00:11:35,294 --> 00:11:38,497
They're pretty funny,
but they're real dirty.
233
00:11:38,531 --> 00:11:39,765
Tell the one about the hot dog.
234
00:11:39,799 --> 00:11:41,934
Okay.
235
00:11:41,967 --> 00:11:44,003
So, uh,
236
00:11:44,036 --> 00:11:47,106
uh, one guy is eating a hot dog
237
00:11:47,139 --> 00:11:48,774
and the other guy says,
238
00:11:48,808 --> 00:11:51,510
"Hey, how's that hot dog?"
239
00:11:51,544 --> 00:11:53,212
and then the first guy takes it
240
00:11:53,245 --> 00:11:55,548
and sticks it in his butt
and says,
241
00:11:55,581 --> 00:11:57,283
"You tell me."
242
00:11:57,316 --> 00:11:59,819
And then the second guy says, uh,
243
00:11:59,852 --> 00:12:01,821
"Whew.
Could use a little more ketchup."
244
00:12:01,854 --> 00:12:04,156
You see?
245
00:12:04,190 --> 00:12:05,858
'Cause it could use ketchup.
Yeah.
246
00:12:05,891 --> 00:12:08,027
'Cause it tastes like (bleep).
247
00:12:08,060 --> 00:12:12,531
You got this, five, four, three,
two, one.
248
00:12:12,565 --> 00:12:14,266
Nice work. All right.
249
00:12:14,300 --> 00:12:16,435
Hiya.
Hey, Emily.
250
00:12:16,469 --> 00:12:18,404
Oh.
How's it going?
251
00:12:18,437 --> 00:12:19,939
She's working up quite a sweat.
252
00:12:19,972 --> 00:12:21,440
Whew, yeah, look at that.
Yeah, right?
253
00:12:21,474 --> 00:12:23,142
Whew.
Get some water, huh?
254
00:12:23,175 --> 00:12:24,310
Yeah, little trooper.
Oh, I'll get some.
255
00:12:24,343 --> 00:12:25,845
She's got it all, eh?
256
00:12:25,878 --> 00:12:27,246
Brains, beauty, athleticism,
257
00:12:27,279 --> 00:12:28,481
willpower, and she's got the greatest..
258
00:12:28,514 --> 00:12:30,449
Are you (bleep) talking about me?
259
00:12:30,483 --> 00:12:32,318
What the (bleep) are you
saying about me?
260
00:12:32,351 --> 00:12:34,487
Huh?
Oh, nothing.
261
00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:36,856
What did you say?
Whoo.
262
00:12:36,889 --> 00:12:38,858
Huh?
She's..
263
00:12:38,891 --> 00:12:40,292
Don't talk about me behind my back.
264
00:12:40,326 --> 00:12:42,428
She's got it going on right now.
265
00:12:42,461 --> 00:12:44,330
Don't talk about me behind my back.
Okay, I won't, I won't.
266
00:12:44,363 --> 00:12:46,465
Huh?
Oh.
267
00:12:46,499 --> 00:12:48,167
Are you being naughty right now?
No, Cripes, I'm not.
268
00:12:48,200 --> 00:12:49,869
Ah, I think you need t-o get a spanking.
269
00:12:49,902 --> 00:12:51,203
Honey, no.
270
00:12:51,237 --> 00:12:52,538
Okay, uh, let's train.
271
00:12:52,571 --> 00:12:55,407
Huh?
Ahem! Come on, Donna.
272
00:12:55,441 --> 00:12:57,276
All right, back at it.
Let's do this.
273
00:12:57,309 --> 00:12:58,611
She gets tired doing those weights,
274
00:12:58,644 --> 00:13:01,213
but when it comes to the
other stuff,
275
00:13:01,247 --> 00:13:04,250
there ain't no stopping her.
276
00:13:04,283 --> 00:13:07,119
One more, come on.
No, I can't.
277
00:13:07,153 --> 00:13:10,523
You can do this.
Ugh.
278
00:13:10,556 --> 00:13:12,258
I'm done.
Ah, come on.
279
00:13:12,291 --> 00:13:13,993
Donna? Donna? Donna?
I'm done.
280
00:13:14,026 --> 00:13:15,327
This isn't gonna happen.
Donna, look at me.
281
00:13:15,361 --> 00:13:16,595
Look at me.
No.
282
00:13:16,629 --> 00:13:20,065
Look at me.
You can do this.
283
00:13:20,099 --> 00:13:23,169
Yes, I believe in ya.
Jeff believes in ya.
284
00:13:23,202 --> 00:13:24,537
Sure do.
Not now, Jeff.
285
00:13:24,570 --> 00:13:27,173
Okie dokie.
Ya gotta believe in yourself.
286
00:13:27,206 --> 00:13:28,874
Dig deep, Donna.
287
00:13:28,908 --> 00:13:31,443
Come on, let's do it.
Come on! One more.
288
00:13:33,345 --> 00:13:34,647
Ready? Come on.
289
00:13:34,680 --> 00:13:36,348
Do it.
290
00:13:36,382 --> 00:13:37,883
Do it.
291
00:13:37,917 --> 00:13:39,385
Ugh!
292
00:13:44,223 --> 00:13:46,592
Ugh!
Yeah!
293
00:13:46,625 --> 00:13:48,594
Whoo!
294
00:13:48,627 --> 00:13:50,296
Whoo!
Thanks, guys. Thanks, guys.
295
00:13:50,329 --> 00:13:52,097
You did it, Babe.
You did it.
296
00:13:52,131 --> 00:13:53,599
I started to lose faith,
297
00:13:53,632 --> 00:13:55,601
But then I thought about your
cute buns.
298
00:13:55,634 --> 00:13:57,102
Okay.
Ah, jeez.
299
00:14:05,711 --> 00:14:08,380
Here's a little something
To put a tickle in your taint.
300
00:14:08,414 --> 00:14:10,082
Gunnar's rolled three perfect games
301
00:14:10,115 --> 00:14:12,017
in the last three years.
302
00:14:12,051 --> 00:14:13,385
Let's see if he can go ahead
303
00:14:13,419 --> 00:14:15,221
and do one of those again
for ya today.
304
00:14:17,156 --> 00:14:19,658
I'm gonna learn you some bowling.
305
00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:21,193
Boom!
306
00:14:21,227 --> 00:14:22,628
♪ Yeah
307
00:14:22,661 --> 00:14:24,563
♪ We living right
308
00:14:24,597 --> 00:14:26,699
♪ Now we up all night
309
00:14:26,732 --> 00:14:30,236
♪ Pass the Ciroc, sip it up,
live it up ♪
310
00:14:30,269 --> 00:14:33,405
♪ I suppose you got your five
pounds of fame ♪
311
00:14:33,439 --> 00:14:35,374
♪ Now you're into it knee deep ♪
312
00:14:35,407 --> 00:14:37,543
♪ Back onto the stage
313
00:14:37,576 --> 00:14:39,979
♪ 'Cause you needed more
314
00:14:40,012 --> 00:14:42,081
♪ Got your five pounds of fame ♪
315
00:14:42,114 --> 00:14:44,416
♪ Break the cycle or repeat
316
00:14:44,450 --> 00:14:46,418
♪ Back onto the stage
317
00:14:46,452 --> 00:14:48,354
♪ Yeah
318
00:14:53,359 --> 00:14:55,327
No perfect game, but, uh,
319
00:14:55,361 --> 00:14:57,463
238 ain't nothing to scoff at.
320
00:14:57,496 --> 00:14:59,431
Ugh.
321
00:14:59,465 --> 00:15:02,067
Hey, Barry, why don't you stop
staring at us
322
00:15:02,101 --> 00:15:05,070
and score us some soft pretzels?
323
00:15:05,104 --> 00:15:06,739
He's so weird.
324
00:15:06,772 --> 00:15:10,142
I got some press to do tomorrow,
for this tournament.
325
00:15:10,175 --> 00:15:12,144
You know, it's a life of an athlete.
326
00:15:12,177 --> 00:15:14,013
You gotta do the P.R.
327
00:15:14,046 --> 00:15:16,181
Local news thing?
328
00:15:16,215 --> 00:15:20,185
No, Emily's, uh, video on A.O.L.
329
00:15:20,219 --> 00:15:22,554
Yeah, she's got a video show
on there.
330
00:15:22,588 --> 00:15:24,390
Jeez Louise.
331
00:15:24,423 --> 00:15:27,092
Look at the ass on that
hockey mom.
332
00:15:27,126 --> 00:15:28,260
Whoa.
333
00:15:30,262 --> 00:15:33,098
You gotta get the people out
no matter what it takes.
334
00:15:33,132 --> 00:15:36,068
I'm trying to get paid.
Sweet cheddar cheese, baby.
335
00:15:37,469 --> 00:15:39,605
Over the line!
336
00:15:39,638 --> 00:15:43,108
If Emily lets you,
you should come watch,
337
00:15:43,142 --> 00:15:46,111
because I have a lot in store
for that interview.
338
00:15:46,145 --> 00:15:47,546
You're gonna wanna be there.
339
00:15:50,182 --> 00:15:52,318
You guys are gonna love Bjorn.
340
00:15:52,351 --> 00:15:55,187
Oh, look, there he is.
341
00:15:55,220 --> 00:15:56,755
Hey, Sis, how goes it?
Oh, it goes, you know?
342
00:15:56,789 --> 00:15:58,157
You okay?
I'm fine.
343
00:15:58,190 --> 00:15:59,491
Good to hear.
You betcha.
344
00:15:59,525 --> 00:16:01,327
So do you wanna go straight
to the alley?
345
00:16:01,360 --> 00:16:03,562
Or you think we got time to
stop by Doug's Sandwich Shop
346
00:16:03,595 --> 00:16:05,164
and pick up a couple
of quick subs?
347
00:16:05,197 --> 00:16:07,032
Well, let's see.
Your practice is at 3:30, yeah?
348
00:16:07,066 --> 00:16:09,668
All right. I'd say we got time.
Oh, good.
349
00:16:09,702 --> 00:16:11,370
I'm a Starvin' Marvin right
about now.
350
00:16:11,403 --> 00:16:13,339
Ooh, wow.
You know, if you buy
351
00:16:13,372 --> 00:16:15,107
two foot-long subs from Doug's
with all the fixin's,
352
00:16:15,140 --> 00:16:16,442
you get a free fountain drink.
353
00:16:16,475 --> 00:16:18,277
No kiddin'.
No kiddin'.
354
00:16:18,310 --> 00:16:20,279
I heard it on the radio there.
Two-foot long subs
355
00:16:20,312 --> 00:16:22,614
with all the fixin's,
free fountain drink.
356
00:16:22,648 --> 00:16:24,616
Well, jeez, they leave us
no choice, do they?
357
00:16:24,650 --> 00:16:27,119
You're telling me.
358
00:16:27,152 --> 00:16:30,122
Em's my baby sister.
Now I know what you're saying.
359
00:16:30,155 --> 00:16:32,624
"But you look so young."
Ah, jeez.
360
00:16:32,658 --> 00:16:34,493
No? Okay. Anywho,
361
00:16:34,526 --> 00:16:36,829
we been carpooling ever
since she started teaching.
362
00:16:36,862 --> 00:16:39,365
Mm-hmm. Well, you know,
we're both teachers,
363
00:16:39,398 --> 00:16:42,067
but Bjorn coaches the bowling team.
364
00:16:42,101 --> 00:16:44,603
We got a great team this year.
365
00:16:44,636 --> 00:16:46,839
Mm-hmm.
Like I always say,
366
00:16:46,872 --> 00:16:48,474
"Strength in numbers."
367
00:16:48,507 --> 00:16:50,776
We got nearly eight kids
going out for a squad.
368
00:16:50,809 --> 00:16:53,612
Now, come on, you're gonna have a
great team 'cause you're the coach.
369
00:16:53,645 --> 00:16:55,481
Now don't get it twisted.
370
00:16:55,514 --> 00:16:57,583
Em here got all the talent
in the family.
371
00:16:57,616 --> 00:16:59,418
I mean,
I know how to coach bowling,
372
00:16:59,451 --> 00:17:02,221
but I can't pick up a 5-8-10
split to save my life.
373
00:17:02,254 --> 00:17:04,223
Em here can do it in her sleep.
374
00:17:04,256 --> 00:17:05,724
He's just being modest.
375
00:17:05,758 --> 00:17:07,726
Well, you know what Woody
Allen says?
376
00:17:07,760 --> 00:17:10,262
Hmm?
"Those who can't do, teach.
377
00:17:10,295 --> 00:17:13,365
And those who can't teach,
teach gym."
378
00:17:18,504 --> 00:17:20,806
Oh, man.
379
00:17:20,839 --> 00:17:23,842
Bjorn's a gym teacher.
I teach gym.
380
00:17:25,411 --> 00:17:29,415
♪ Every single day
381
00:17:29,448 --> 00:17:33,585
♪ We open up our eyes to see
382
00:17:33,619 --> 00:17:37,589
♪ Every single way
383
00:17:37,623 --> 00:17:39,858
♪ We've achieved our goals
384
00:17:39,892 --> 00:17:43,562
Ah, shoot!
Shoot! Shoot!
385
00:17:43,595 --> 00:17:46,732
Would ya look at that,
for fudge sake!
386
00:17:46,765 --> 00:17:48,734
That was good. What're you
talking about? That was awful.
387
00:17:48,767 --> 00:17:51,437
What're you patronizing me?
No, it was good.
388
00:17:51,470 --> 00:17:54,139
You just need to adjust about
a half step to your left.
389
00:17:54,173 --> 00:17:57,342
Try taking it two boards over.
You got it.
390
00:17:57,376 --> 00:17:58,844
You're lucky you're so hot,
you (bleep).
391
00:17:58,877 --> 00:18:00,913
Oh, stop it.
Well, ya are.
392
00:18:00,946 --> 00:18:03,782
Okay.
You're my hot piece of meat.
393
00:18:03,816 --> 00:18:07,219
Please.
Come one. Come on.
394
00:18:07,252 --> 00:18:08,720
No, you're catching
the fire department here.
395
00:18:08,754 --> 00:18:10,322
All right, fine.
396
00:18:10,355 --> 00:18:12,424
But when we get home.
Okay.
397
00:18:18,831 --> 00:18:21,600
♪ You finally made your move
398
00:18:23,335 --> 00:18:24,937
♪ Every single day
399
00:18:24,970 --> 00:18:27,506
Hey.
Oh, how'd you do that?
400
00:18:27,539 --> 00:18:29,575
I didn't do it.
You did.
401
00:18:29,608 --> 00:18:31,810
You're amazing sometimes.
I know you are,
402
00:18:31,844 --> 00:18:33,512
but what am I?
403
00:18:33,545 --> 00:18:35,514
My hot piece of meat.
Oh, okay, all right.
404
00:18:35,547 --> 00:18:37,216
It's what you are.
Okay, I know, I know.
405
00:18:37,249 --> 00:18:39,218
I'm serious about when we get home.
406
00:18:39,251 --> 00:18:41,720
Yeah, okay, just no hair
pulling this time, okay?
407
00:18:41,753 --> 00:18:43,722
It hurts.
Okay.
408
00:18:43,755 --> 00:18:45,557
All right.
I'll be easy on you.
409
00:18:45,591 --> 00:18:48,560
Yeah, so you say that now.
I am gonna eat you up, though.
410
00:18:48,594 --> 00:18:50,863
I know, I know.
I'm scared.
411
00:18:50,896 --> 00:18:52,297
All right,
get back up on that lane.
412
00:18:52,331 --> 00:18:53,699
Oh, yeah, we know Gunnar.
413
00:18:53,732 --> 00:18:56,869
He's a second cousin twice removed
414
00:18:56,902 --> 00:18:59,338
or something like that.
415
00:18:59,371 --> 00:19:00,939
He's not close related
that's all I know.
416
00:19:00,973 --> 00:19:02,674
Ah, not this again.
417
00:19:02,708 --> 00:19:04,576
I mean, I'm not really sure
how to put this,
418
00:19:04,610 --> 00:19:06,912
but you know how we all
got that one relative
419
00:19:06,945 --> 00:19:11,416
That's just, uh, well,
not as pleasant?
420
00:19:11,450 --> 00:19:13,886
And after what he did
to Emily's father, you know?
421
00:19:13,919 --> 00:19:16,255
He's an (bleep).
He.. Oh.
422
00:19:16,288 --> 00:19:18,257
The guy's an (bleep), Jeff.
You can say it.
423
00:19:18,290 --> 00:19:20,893
He's an (bleep).
I'm not gonna.
424
00:19:20,926 --> 00:19:23,362
Say it.
425
00:19:23,395 --> 00:19:25,364
Just say it.
It feels good to say the truth.
426
00:19:25,397 --> 00:19:28,400
Okay, okay.
Say it.
427
00:19:28,433 --> 00:19:30,435
He's an (bleep).
428
00:19:30,469 --> 00:19:33,005
There you go.
See, now doesn't that feel better?
429
00:19:33,038 --> 00:19:34,907
Now my stomach hurts.
430
00:19:36,942 --> 00:19:38,610
You shouldn't have had that
grilled cheese.
431
00:19:38,644 --> 00:19:40,712
I couldn't help it.
432
00:19:40,746 --> 00:19:44,316
It looked so good.
It was piping hot.
433
00:19:44,349 --> 00:19:46,385
But it's also 'cause of what
I just said.
434
00:19:46,418 --> 00:19:49,555
Yep, I'm ready when you're ready.
435
00:19:49,588 --> 00:19:51,423
I want you to be my cheerleader.
436
00:19:51,456 --> 00:19:53,425
You better believe it.
That's what I was born to do.
437
00:19:56,361 --> 00:19:58,330
Okay, here we go.
438
00:19:58,363 --> 00:19:59,665
All right, all right, all right.
439
00:19:59,698 --> 00:20:02,601
Here we go, go, go, go, yeah!
440
00:20:02,634 --> 00:20:05,604
Oh!
Still just one.
441
00:20:05,637 --> 00:20:07,940
Hey, that's closer than last
time, you know?
442
00:20:07,973 --> 00:20:09,641
I know, you're right.
Yep, you're doing great.
443
00:20:09,675 --> 00:20:12,511
I should be happy.
Yeah, you should be.
444
00:20:12,544 --> 00:20:14,513
You're incredible.
445
00:20:14,546 --> 00:20:16,848
She's incredible.
What'd you say?
446
00:20:16,882 --> 00:20:18,584
I said you're incredible.
447
00:20:18,617 --> 00:20:20,953
Emily's been great with her,
just a real good coach.
448
00:20:20,986 --> 00:20:23,388
Super patient.
449
00:20:23,422 --> 00:20:25,490
She couldn't be here today 'cause
she's preparing her video show
450
00:20:25,524 --> 00:20:27,359
on the YouTube tomorrow.
451
00:20:27,392 --> 00:20:29,027
Boy, oh, boy.
452
00:20:29,061 --> 00:20:30,729
You'll see a real difference
in Donna's game
453
00:20:30,762 --> 00:20:33,065
when Emily's around.
454
00:20:33,098 --> 00:20:36,068
Well, in the meantime though,
we're making do.
455
00:20:46,111 --> 00:20:48,547
So why did you agree to have
him on?
456
00:20:48,580 --> 00:20:50,882
Publicity, you know?
457
00:20:50,916 --> 00:20:53,051
Like, when Gunnar's on
we get the views,
458
00:20:53,085 --> 00:20:54,820
so just make it perfect.
459
00:20:54,853 --> 00:20:56,355
Yeah, I'm with Kenny.
460
00:20:56,388 --> 00:20:57,823
Gunnar's a total douche, Babe.
461
00:20:57,856 --> 00:20:59,758
Don't call me babe.
462
00:20:59,791 --> 00:21:01,460
I'm no one's babe.
463
00:21:01,493 --> 00:21:03,629
Emily always gets like this
when Gunnar's around.
464
00:21:03,662 --> 00:21:06,498
He really got under her skin.
465
00:21:06,531 --> 00:21:08,033
Dude totally friggin' sucks.
466
00:21:08,066 --> 00:21:10,636
We're all on your side, Emily.
467
00:21:10,669 --> 00:21:13,505
There's only one way to describe the
way he treated you after the tournament.
468
00:21:13,538 --> 00:21:14,840
Uncool.
469
00:21:14,873 --> 00:21:17,509
Totally uncalled for.
470
00:21:17,542 --> 00:21:20,646
That's what I'm screaming.
The dude's a friggin' dick.
471
00:21:20,679 --> 00:21:23,515
I choked in the third game.
I did.
472
00:21:23,548 --> 00:21:24,750
And, uh,
473
00:21:24,783 --> 00:21:28,086
afterward, he got all up
in my bubble,
474
00:21:28,120 --> 00:21:30,822
you know, shouting real loud,
475
00:21:30,856 --> 00:21:32,958
you know, and then he started
doing that mooning thing
476
00:21:32,991 --> 00:21:34,660
where you share your bare
naked bottom,
477
00:21:34,693 --> 00:21:35,994
wiggling it back and forth.
478
00:21:38,664 --> 00:21:41,700
And then he farted...
479
00:21:41,733 --> 00:21:43,735
While his pants were down.
480
00:21:43,769 --> 00:21:45,604
And, uh,
481
00:21:45,637 --> 00:21:48,473
I don't know if maybe he pooped
a little bit,
482
00:21:48,507 --> 00:21:53,412
Because the smell was...
483
00:21:53,445 --> 00:21:55,814
Real bad, you know,
and it got up in my nose,
484
00:21:55,847 --> 00:22:00,519
and with like no filter or nothing.
485
00:22:00,552 --> 00:22:02,721
And, uh..
486
00:22:02,754 --> 00:22:06,725
And, uh, then my dad stepped in.
487
00:22:06,758 --> 00:22:09,528
And, um,
488
00:22:09,561 --> 00:22:12,764
anyway, so, you know,
it made all the papers, of course,
489
00:22:12,798 --> 00:22:15,500
and, uh, there was one headline
that read, uh,
490
00:22:15,534 --> 00:22:19,137
"'Choking on farts,'
starring Emily Baardsson."
491
00:22:19,171 --> 00:22:22,674
So, yeah, I'm not in the best
mood when he's around.
492
00:22:22,708 --> 00:22:24,843
But, you know, I, uh..
493
00:22:24,876 --> 00:22:26,578
I gotta get those views.
494
00:22:26,611 --> 00:22:29,848
Got to get those views.
495
00:22:29,881 --> 00:22:33,018
Hey, em, uh, yeah,
maybe after this,
496
00:22:33,051 --> 00:22:34,686
you know, if you needed
to wind down a bit,
497
00:22:34,720 --> 00:22:36,688
take the edge off,
498
00:22:36,722 --> 00:22:39,491
you know, we could go get some drinks?
Just you, just me.
499
00:22:39,524 --> 00:22:42,494
Papa Nick's buying!
500
00:22:42,527 --> 00:22:45,497
Yeah, yeah, I'd like that.
Right, all right, great.
501
00:22:45,530 --> 00:22:47,566
But, you know, like,
as friends, yeah?
502
00:22:47,599 --> 00:22:51,436
Yeah, friends, more than friends,
future couple.
503
00:22:51,470 --> 00:22:53,939
You know, either way.
Nick, come on.
504
00:22:53,972 --> 00:22:55,941
You know I'm not into guys.
505
00:22:55,974 --> 00:22:57,943
Never have been.
Never will be.
506
00:22:57,976 --> 00:23:00,645
There I said it.
507
00:23:00,679 --> 00:23:03,582
Not all lesbians look like
Al Franken, you know.
508
00:23:07,953 --> 00:23:10,188
It's, uh..
It's a joke I like to tell.
509
00:23:12,958 --> 00:23:14,593
Nick really has to let that
one go.
510
00:23:14,626 --> 00:23:16,194
I mean, I know he's into her
and everything,
511
00:23:16,228 --> 00:23:21,933
But... He's barking up
the wrong tree.
512
00:23:21,967 --> 00:23:25,103
I can't get enough of her.
She's, seriously, like,
513
00:23:25,137 --> 00:23:27,472
The omega babe of the century.
514
00:23:27,506 --> 00:23:29,474
You know, she's the end all
to be all babes.
515
00:23:29,508 --> 00:23:31,943
She is the mayor of babe city U.S.A.,
516
00:23:31,977 --> 00:23:34,579
and I am voting for her every year.
517
00:23:34,613 --> 00:23:36,882
But, yeah, I just gotta
respect her, though,
518
00:23:36,915 --> 00:23:38,950
you know, 'cause she's..
She's super cool,
519
00:23:38,984 --> 00:23:42,187
and, uh, she's a great friend,
and so friendship it is.
520
00:23:49,661 --> 00:23:51,229
What kinda question is that?
521
00:23:51,263 --> 00:23:53,064
Of course Gunnar plans to win.
522
00:23:53,098 --> 00:23:55,233
Seems that's all he ever does really.
523
00:23:55,267 --> 00:23:59,771
Win. Me. Champion.
Greatest ever.
524
00:23:59,805 --> 00:24:02,741
These are words I've become
to be known ab.. about.
525
00:24:02,774 --> 00:24:04,910
They get used about me a bunch.
526
00:24:04,943 --> 00:24:06,711
I mean, it's no surprise.
527
00:24:06,745 --> 00:24:08,713
I've won ten out of
the last 12 Roseau Bowls,
528
00:24:08,747 --> 00:24:10,715
including the last seven straight.
529
00:24:10,749 --> 00:24:12,217
Now...
Including, also..
530
00:24:12,250 --> 00:24:15,153
Also including the 2010 Roseau Bowl.
531
00:24:16,955 --> 00:24:19,925
Which was the last time
they had the open bracket.
532
00:24:19,958 --> 00:24:22,260
You know that they closed it down?
533
00:24:22,294 --> 00:24:25,030
Because I beat you so bad, right?
534
00:24:25,063 --> 00:24:26,598
That's not why they closed it.
535
00:24:26,631 --> 00:24:28,300
Yeah, it is.
You remember that?
536
00:24:28,333 --> 00:24:30,836
Remember I put my butt
in your face and I farted?
537
00:24:30,869 --> 00:24:32,838
Remember when I farted
In your face?
538
00:24:32,871 --> 00:24:34,139
Yeah! You know, what? Yeah!
539
00:24:34,172 --> 00:24:35,841
Yeah, I remember, you stupid idiot!
540
00:24:35,874 --> 00:24:37,175
Jeez, who do you think
you are, huh?
541
00:24:37,209 --> 00:24:38,376
You know if you..
542
00:24:38,410 --> 00:24:40,712
If your balls were in the gutter
half as much as your mind,
543
00:24:40,745 --> 00:24:42,314
You'd be bowling zeros.
That's right.
544
00:24:42,347 --> 00:24:44,249
I am that guy.
545
00:24:44,282 --> 00:24:47,919
I'm also the guy calling you out
for this year's Roseau Bowl.
546
00:24:47,953 --> 00:24:50,789
That's right.
You versus me, toots,
547
00:24:50,822 --> 00:24:55,627
on the hardwood.
548
00:25:00,365 --> 00:25:01,800
Gunnar.
549
00:25:05,604 --> 00:25:07,973
You know, I'm, uh,
550
00:25:08,006 --> 00:25:10,108
I'm retired.
551
00:25:10,141 --> 00:25:12,043
And, uh, I gotta lot on my plate.
552
00:25:12,077 --> 00:25:14,045
You know, I got a job,
553
00:25:14,079 --> 00:25:17,916
and I, uh, I got my Aunt Donna
who's bowling.
554
00:25:17,949 --> 00:25:19,918
And, I, you know, I couldn't
ever bowl against her.
555
00:25:19,951 --> 00:25:21,620
Huh.
And, I, and I got,
556
00:25:21,653 --> 00:25:24,289
I got book clubs on tuesdays.
557
00:25:24,322 --> 00:25:26,825
And I got tons of shows...
Horse hockey!
558
00:25:26,858 --> 00:25:29,828
Building up on my DVR.
In its purest form.
559
00:25:29,861 --> 00:25:31,696
Absolute horse hockey!
560
00:25:31,730 --> 00:25:33,698
You don't have too much
on your plate.
561
00:25:33,732 --> 00:25:37,235
And Donna's a moron.
You're a chicken.
562
00:25:37,269 --> 00:25:42,240
Duck, duck, gray duck,
you're a chicken.
563
00:25:45,844 --> 00:25:47,812
You tore my family apart!
564
00:25:47,846 --> 00:25:49,814
And I want nothing to do with you
565
00:25:49,848 --> 00:25:51,683
and your stupid challenge!
566
00:26:01,359 --> 00:26:03,395
And that's all the time we
have for today.
567
00:26:03,428 --> 00:26:05,263
So, um,
568
00:26:05,297 --> 00:26:08,266
please tune in next week
when we discuss the importance
569
00:26:08,300 --> 00:26:10,769
of different size finger holes...
570
00:26:10,802 --> 00:26:13,271
Finger holes?
571
00:26:13,305 --> 00:26:15,273
Did you hear what she said?
572
00:26:15,307 --> 00:26:17,275
And, uh, I'm Emily Baardsson
and, uh...
573
00:26:17,309 --> 00:26:19,311
Oh, I can't believe
you just said that.
574
00:26:19,344 --> 00:26:21,846
This is how I roll.
Finger holes!
575
00:26:21,880 --> 00:26:24,015
Gunnar!
I can't believe it.
576
00:26:24,049 --> 00:26:25,884
Gunnar, get out!
Where are we going?
577
00:26:25,917 --> 00:26:27,419
Seriously, Gunnar, get outta here.
578
00:26:27,452 --> 00:26:30,422
You guys want a selfie
or something before I leave?
579
00:26:30,455 --> 00:26:33,124
Jeez.
Thanks for having me, Emily.
580
00:26:33,158 --> 00:26:36,227
I don't know, you know, he's..
581
00:26:36,261 --> 00:26:38,930
I just got all rattled
and I, I was,
582
00:26:38,964 --> 00:26:42,434
was I too mean?
No.
583
00:26:42,467 --> 00:26:44,436
I mean, I got real upset,
584
00:26:44,469 --> 00:26:46,137
man, I cannot stand that guy.
585
00:26:46,171 --> 00:26:48,673
You all right?
Yeah, I'll be fine, thanks.
586
00:26:48,707 --> 00:26:50,175
Good. You really nailed him, though,
587
00:26:50,208 --> 00:26:52,010
with that balls in that
gutter line.
588
00:26:52,043 --> 00:26:52,978
Huh?
589
00:26:55,480 --> 00:26:58,984
Oh, jeez, no, I meant, like..
Aw, dang.
590
00:26:59,017 --> 00:27:00,752
Oh, I know I'm,
like, uh, aw, jeez.
591
00:27:12,998 --> 00:27:13,999
Yes!
Whoo!
592
00:27:14,032 --> 00:27:15,700
There you go, Donna.
593
00:27:15,734 --> 00:27:17,035
You know, you've got that power,
594
00:27:17,068 --> 00:27:18,737
and it is all about that
follow-through.
595
00:27:18,770 --> 00:27:20,071
It felt real good.
596
00:27:20,105 --> 00:27:21,406
It looked real good.
Yeah.
597
00:27:21,439 --> 00:27:23,775
You're like a sniper out there.
598
00:27:23,808 --> 00:27:25,310
Okay, so for this next time, though,
599
00:27:25,343 --> 00:27:27,278
I'm gonna have you take a
step and a half to your right.
600
00:27:27,312 --> 00:27:28,480
Mm-hmm.
601
00:27:28,513 --> 00:27:29,914
Ease up on that spin just a touch.
602
00:27:29,948 --> 00:27:31,016
Okay.
Okay?
603
00:27:31,049 --> 00:27:33,184
Mm-hmm.
You got this.
604
00:27:33,218 --> 00:27:35,253
Here she goes.
Heart's pounding.
605
00:27:39,824 --> 00:27:41,059
Whoo!
Oh, man!
606
00:27:41,092 --> 00:27:42,761
Yes! That was unbelievable.
607
00:27:42,794 --> 00:27:44,929
Yeah!
You two are good together.
608
00:27:44,963 --> 00:27:47,032
Oh, yeah, we are.
It's all her, though.
609
00:27:47,065 --> 00:27:48,767
Yeah.
You know, uh,
610
00:27:48,800 --> 00:27:50,101
I saw that interview with Gunnar.
611
00:27:50,135 --> 00:27:52,103
Did you now?
612
00:27:52,137 --> 00:27:53,438
Well, I'm sorry you had to
see that.
613
00:27:53,471 --> 00:27:55,140
Well, you wanna know what I think?
614
00:27:55,173 --> 00:27:56,841
Maybe not.
615
00:27:56,875 --> 00:27:58,410
You know, maybe we just
sweep this one under the rug?
616
00:27:58,443 --> 00:28:00,512
Well, I think you should take
him down.
617
00:28:00,545 --> 00:28:02,781
I wouldn't be mad.
618
00:28:02,814 --> 00:28:04,282
You're the best bowler I know.
619
00:28:04,315 --> 00:28:06,384
Come on, now,
you know I can't do that.
620
00:28:06,418 --> 00:28:08,386
No, no, I don't know that.
621
00:28:08,420 --> 00:28:12,023
I know you'd beat me,
that much I know.
622
00:28:12,057 --> 00:28:13,425
After everything
that he's put you through,
623
00:28:13,458 --> 00:28:14,993
You're the only one
who can shut him up,
624
00:28:15,026 --> 00:28:17,295
and somebody needs to shut
him up.
625
00:28:17,328 --> 00:28:19,531
You know, I know they do,
626
00:28:19,564 --> 00:28:21,866
and I'm training the person
that's gonna do it.
627
00:28:21,900 --> 00:28:24,502
Okay, you know I truly,
truly believe that.
628
00:28:24,536 --> 00:28:26,171
Just to be clear,
you two are talking about...
629
00:28:26,204 --> 00:28:28,039
Yes, I'm talking about Donna, Jeff.
630
00:28:28,073 --> 00:28:29,541
Yeah, Jeff, who'd you think
she was talking about?
631
00:28:29,574 --> 00:28:32,544
She's training me.
Yeah.
632
00:28:32,577 --> 00:28:35,013
Doesn't that make sense?
You're the one.
633
00:28:35,046 --> 00:28:37,982
Sometimes you can be
a real dummy, you know that?
634
00:28:38,016 --> 00:28:39,784
You know, if you weren't
such a steaming
635
00:28:39,818 --> 00:28:43,021
Hot piece of yum-yum,
I don't know what I'd do.
636
00:28:43,054 --> 00:28:44,456
Look at you.
637
00:28:44,489 --> 00:28:46,991
Ooh!
It's like Hercules.
638
00:28:47,025 --> 00:28:48,927
What? We did some groceries today.
639
00:28:48,960 --> 00:28:50,061
Yeah.
Yes, you did.
640
00:28:50,095 --> 00:28:51,396
Let me see those buns.
Okay.
641
00:28:53,264 --> 00:28:54,866
Of course I'm gonna
win it this year,
642
00:28:54,899 --> 00:28:56,935
unless some freak accident happens.
643
00:28:56,968 --> 00:29:00,805
I mean, my biggest competition
right now is Donna.
644
00:29:00,839 --> 00:29:03,341
You heard me. Donna!
645
00:29:03,374 --> 00:29:06,811
Friggin' Donna!
Who the heck is Donna?
646
00:29:08,480 --> 00:29:11,549
I mean, I'm what the bowling community
647
00:29:11,583 --> 00:29:14,018
refers to as a cranker.
648
00:29:14,052 --> 00:29:16,988
C-A-R, no.
C-R-A-N,
649
00:29:17,021 --> 00:29:22,127
Yeah, C-R-A-N, C-R-A-N-K-E-R.
650
00:29:22,160 --> 00:29:23,528
Cranker. Right?
651
00:29:23,561 --> 00:29:25,029
Ain't too many people
in a bowling alley
652
00:29:25,063 --> 00:29:27,999
That can do what it is that
I can do.
653
00:29:28,032 --> 00:29:31,302
What I do is I come
with a high backswing,
654
00:29:31,336 --> 00:29:33,004
I square my shoulders,
655
00:29:33,037 --> 00:29:34,873
and then I put a lot of spin
on the ball,
656
00:29:34,906 --> 00:29:36,441
and then I just let 'er rip.
657
00:29:36,474 --> 00:29:39,144
I get as close to the line as possible
658
00:29:39,177 --> 00:29:40,879
and then I just release.
659
00:29:40,912 --> 00:29:43,882
You know, it's a plant and pull.
660
00:29:43,915 --> 00:29:45,450
So, plant and then pull.
661
00:29:45,483 --> 00:29:47,185
Far as I'm concerned,
662
00:29:47,218 --> 00:29:49,888
that's the best way to get
a big hook on your ball.
663
00:29:49,921 --> 00:29:54,058
You know, I mean,
of course you know.
664
00:29:54,092 --> 00:29:55,927
Unless you're a friggin' idiot.
665
00:29:57,362 --> 00:29:59,998
Bowling is like life to me.
frame by frame,
666
00:30:00,031 --> 00:30:01,499
No apologies.
667
00:30:01,533 --> 00:30:05,503
Gunnar does what Gunnar does,
and he never looks back.
668
00:30:05,537 --> 00:30:08,506
Emily can blame me all she wants
for what happened,
669
00:30:08,540 --> 00:30:11,876
but she's the one that needs
to look in the mirror.
670
00:30:11,910 --> 00:30:13,878
You know, as far as I'm concerned,
671
00:30:13,912 --> 00:30:15,346
If she didn't choke,
672
00:30:15,380 --> 00:30:17,115
everybody would be alive and well
673
00:30:17,148 --> 00:30:20,118
Singing "Kumbaya" and (bleep).
674
00:30:20,151 --> 00:30:22,520
But she choked at the end of
the game,
675
00:30:22,554 --> 00:30:24,455
and I just let her know about it.
676
00:30:24,489 --> 00:30:26,457
And that's my fault?
677
00:30:26,491 --> 00:30:28,159
That makes me the bad guy?
678
00:30:28,193 --> 00:30:29,561
I don't think so.
679
00:30:29,594 --> 00:30:31,429
And I'll learn you something else,
680
00:30:31,462 --> 00:30:32,964
America don't think so either.
681
00:30:32,997 --> 00:30:34,232
Boom!
682
00:30:52,250 --> 00:30:55,053
Okay, you know, not bad, not bad.
683
00:30:55,086 --> 00:30:56,921
What am I gonna tell ya though?
684
00:30:56,955 --> 00:30:59,057
Uh, that I didn't follow through.
685
00:30:59,090 --> 00:31:00,558
Exactly.
686
00:31:00,592 --> 00:31:02,627
You know, bowling is like life.
687
00:31:02,660 --> 00:31:05,296
You gotta follow through.
688
00:31:05,330 --> 00:31:06,598
Lose or lose,
689
00:31:06,631 --> 00:31:07,665
follow through.
690
00:31:07,699 --> 00:31:09,133
Okay, I know, I know.
691
00:31:09,167 --> 00:31:10,435
Two weeks to go, you know.
692
00:31:10,468 --> 00:31:12,303
We gotta get this every
single time.
693
00:31:12,337 --> 00:31:14,305
Okay, you got it.
694
00:31:14,339 --> 00:31:15,707
Things are really heating up here.
695
00:31:15,740 --> 00:31:17,408
Can I tell ya,
696
00:31:17,442 --> 00:31:19,711
we need emily now more than ever.
697
00:31:19,744 --> 00:31:22,113
Ever since I got a promotion
at Christian Brothers,
698
00:31:22,146 --> 00:31:25,650
I just don't have
nearly the time needed.
699
00:31:25,683 --> 00:31:27,952
But I'd say we're in
pretty good hands.
700
00:31:27,986 --> 00:31:30,255
Yes! Whoo!
Nailed it!
701
00:31:30,288 --> 00:31:33,291
Yes, you did. Do it.
702
00:31:33,324 --> 00:31:36,160
Do I think she can win?
703
00:31:36,194 --> 00:31:37,729
No telling, really, I guess.
704
00:31:37,762 --> 00:31:40,265
Uh, but she's doing
really good, you know?
705
00:31:40,298 --> 00:31:43,268
Bowling the best she ever has.
706
00:31:43,301 --> 00:31:45,603
Is it enough to beat Gunnar?
707
00:31:45,637 --> 00:31:48,740
I don't know.
Your guess is as good as mine.
708
00:31:48,773 --> 00:31:51,276
But here's one thing I will say,
709
00:31:51,309 --> 00:31:53,544
nothing's gonna stop her from trying.
710
00:31:53,578 --> 00:31:55,179
You know, she's gonna get out there,
711
00:31:55,213 --> 00:31:56,581
and she's gonna do her best.
712
00:31:56,614 --> 00:31:59,284
That much I can guarantee.
713
00:31:59,317 --> 00:32:02,987
Aah!
Are you okay?
714
00:32:03,021 --> 00:32:04,222
My back.
715
00:32:04,255 --> 00:32:07,091
I think it's my Latissimus Dorsi!
716
00:32:07,125 --> 00:32:09,527
She's speaking Gibberish.
717
00:32:09,560 --> 00:32:12,130
It's okay, Donna.
Just breathe, okay?
718
00:32:12,163 --> 00:32:14,465
It's gonna be okay.
No, it's not.
719
00:32:14,499 --> 00:32:17,635
Last time this happened,
I couldn't bowl for a month.
720
00:32:17,669 --> 00:32:19,370
Oh, I think it's torn.
Donna, Donna.
721
00:32:19,404 --> 00:32:22,340
I think it's torn.
It's gonna be okay.
722
00:32:22,373 --> 00:32:26,177
No, I'm not gonna be okay.
723
00:32:26,210 --> 00:32:29,013
This town needs you, Emily.
724
00:32:29,047 --> 00:32:31,616
Your family needs you.
725
00:32:31,649 --> 00:32:37,255
I need you to bowl for me.
726
00:32:43,494 --> 00:32:45,129
You really think she's gonna
announce it on air?
727
00:32:45,163 --> 00:32:46,564
Dude, you never know.
728
00:32:46,597 --> 00:32:50,101
She could be
a total wildcard at times.
729
00:32:50,134 --> 00:32:51,769
No, no, it's gotta be
about the tournament.
730
00:32:51,803 --> 00:32:54,572
So we've been told Emily
has a pretty big announcement
731
00:32:54,605 --> 00:32:56,507
to make on her show today.
I think she's gonna be
732
00:32:56,541 --> 00:32:58,209
announcing that she's
entering the tournament.
733
00:32:58,242 --> 00:33:02,447
Kenny's probably right,
but, man, fingers crossed.
734
00:33:02,480 --> 00:33:05,516
If she's announcing that
she's gonna try dudes today,
735
00:33:05,550 --> 00:33:08,453
pretty good chance that my long hair
bumps me to the front of the line.
736
00:33:08,486 --> 00:33:10,321
Dude, I'm just saying
if it's gonna be anybody,
737
00:33:10,355 --> 00:33:13,191
it's probably gonna me.
What would be you?
738
00:33:13,224 --> 00:33:16,060
Uh, we hear you got some news.
739
00:33:16,094 --> 00:33:18,229
Huh?
The show.
740
00:33:18,262 --> 00:33:21,099
We hear you got a big
announcement to make.
741
00:33:21,132 --> 00:33:24,569
Oh, yeah, big time.
Get ready...
742
00:33:24,602 --> 00:33:28,106
For me to enter the Roseau Bowl
Tournament this year.
743
00:33:28,139 --> 00:33:29,540
You say you're not scared?
744
00:33:29,574 --> 00:33:33,244
Well, I got 288 reasons
for you to be scared,
745
00:33:33,277 --> 00:33:35,580
you frickin' little baby.
746
00:33:35,613 --> 00:33:38,216
That's what I bowled
yesterday and, uh,
747
00:33:38,249 --> 00:33:41,219
and those were also the reasons.
748
00:33:41,252 --> 00:33:43,287
Well, I got the best friggin'
coach in Minnesota,
749
00:33:43,321 --> 00:33:47,692
and I'm coming to whoop your
behind, pardon my French.
750
00:33:47,725 --> 00:33:51,229
I'm Emily Baardsson,
and this is how I roll.
751
00:33:55,333 --> 00:33:56,768
Is 288 a good score?
752
00:33:59,303 --> 00:34:02,206
Sure, it's darn good.
753
00:34:02,240 --> 00:34:04,142
But you know what that means, right?
754
00:34:04,175 --> 00:34:05,676
It means she choked in the end.
755
00:34:05,710 --> 00:34:07,378
Last frame.
756
00:34:07,412 --> 00:34:10,381
When it comes down to the wire,
she's gonna choke.
757
00:34:10,415 --> 00:34:14,685
♪ Creating a new high
758
00:34:14,719 --> 00:34:18,256
♪ This is your new life
759
00:34:18,289 --> 00:34:20,391
♪ The game is closing in
760
00:34:20,425 --> 00:34:22,427
♪ You start to feel the cry ♪
761
00:34:22,460 --> 00:34:23,828
She always does.
762
00:34:23,861 --> 00:34:25,763
I don't know the exact
science behind it,
763
00:34:25,797 --> 00:34:28,633
but it had something to do
with a woman competing.
764
00:34:28,666 --> 00:34:32,170
Now I'm gonna choose my words
real careful here.
765
00:34:32,203 --> 00:34:33,671
It's just like..
766
00:34:33,704 --> 00:34:36,507
Like their reproductive parts
or something remind them
767
00:34:36,541 --> 00:34:39,210
that if they ever want to
have babies
768
00:34:39,243 --> 00:34:41,179
their body won't even let
them win.
769
00:34:41,212 --> 00:34:44,415
Like, again, I don't know the
exact science behind it,
770
00:34:44,449 --> 00:34:47,418
but it was something
I read online once on A.O.L.,
771
00:34:47,452 --> 00:34:50,288
and it was in a chat room.
772
00:34:50,321 --> 00:34:54,292
♪ Universe on fire
773
00:34:54,325 --> 00:34:57,428
♪ Passion on the rise
774
00:34:57,462 --> 00:35:01,165
♪ The job will get you paid... ♪
775
00:35:01,199 --> 00:35:03,568
You know, you never know, though.
776
00:35:03,601 --> 00:35:06,571
I mean, you can't believe
everything you read online.
777
00:35:06,604 --> 00:35:08,906
Plus, how do I know she wasn't
one of those freaks
778
00:35:08,940 --> 00:35:11,709
born with girl and boy parts?
779
00:35:11,742 --> 00:35:15,413
Then all the science goes
right down the (bleep) drain.
780
00:35:15,446 --> 00:35:17,415
Everybody knows that.
781
00:35:17,448 --> 00:35:19,750
So Gunnar just has to train
his ass off,
782
00:35:19,784 --> 00:35:21,319
and that's what Gunnar does.
783
00:35:23,688 --> 00:35:26,624
Oh, yeah, that's much better.
784
00:35:26,657 --> 00:35:28,326
Yeah, you know,
I don't see the point of this.
785
00:35:28,359 --> 00:35:30,928
Uh, to strengthen your
backswing, doy!
786
00:35:30,962 --> 00:35:32,597
Hey, don't doy me.
787
00:35:32,630 --> 00:35:34,532
Okay, follow-through
is the most important thing,
788
00:35:34,565 --> 00:35:35,933
so I don't know why we're
working the friggin' backswing
789
00:35:35,967 --> 00:35:37,568
when we should be working on
follow-through.
790
00:35:37,602 --> 00:35:40,438
Jeepers, em.
No need to get all worked up.
791
00:35:40,471 --> 00:35:41,739
You just need to have
a well-rounded game.
792
00:35:41,772 --> 00:35:43,674
Yeah, I know.
793
00:35:43,708 --> 00:35:45,276
You think you can
torque the ball enough
794
00:35:45,309 --> 00:35:46,611
to take down a 5-7 split,
795
00:35:46,644 --> 00:35:48,312
or heaven forbid, a 7-10,
796
00:35:48,346 --> 00:35:51,282
with your dinky backswing?
797
00:35:51,315 --> 00:35:52,717
Jeez.
798
00:35:52,750 --> 00:35:55,586
"Jeez" is right.
no Siree Bob, you can't.
799
00:35:55,620 --> 00:35:58,890
Now we don't have much time,
and we need to get you there.
800
00:35:58,923 --> 00:36:00,892
Okay.
Okay.
801
00:36:00,925 --> 00:36:02,960
Eye of the tiger.
Strike.
802
00:36:07,765 --> 00:36:09,600
Torque it!
Torque it! Torque it!
803
00:36:09,634 --> 00:36:12,436
Strike, strike, strike,
strike, strike!
804
00:36:14,472 --> 00:36:16,707
Strike, strike, strike,
strike, strike!
805
00:36:23,948 --> 00:36:25,683
Torque it!
Torque it! Torque it!
806
00:36:25,716 --> 00:36:27,418
93, 94, 95...
807
00:36:27,451 --> 00:36:29,754
You're doing great.
808
00:36:29,787 --> 00:36:32,456
96, 97, 98, 99, 100!
809
00:36:32,490 --> 00:36:33,891
Whoo!
Whoo!
810
00:36:33,925 --> 00:36:35,826
Let's take it to the lanes!
811
00:36:35,860 --> 00:36:38,996
Yes, let's take it
to the lanes, also, too.
812
00:36:39,030 --> 00:36:40,531
Whoo!
Whoo!
813
00:36:40,565 --> 00:36:41,666
Strike!
Strike!
814
00:36:47,738 --> 00:36:49,407
Whooshka!
Order a tater tot hot dish,
815
00:36:49,440 --> 00:36:51,275
'Cause she just smashed the potatoes.
816
00:36:51,309 --> 00:36:53,277
Those pins don't stand a chance.
817
00:36:55,346 --> 00:36:56,314
Whoo!
818
00:37:04,722 --> 00:37:06,023
Oh!
Oh!
819
00:37:06,057 --> 00:37:07,358
One more, one more.
One more.
820
00:37:07,391 --> 00:37:08,359
Okay.
821
00:37:15,967 --> 00:37:17,401
Whoo!
822
00:37:22,840 --> 00:37:24,609
Now are you ready to take on Gunnar?
823
00:37:24,642 --> 00:37:26,644
Ready as I'll ever be, yes.
824
00:37:33,017 --> 00:37:34,385
Whoo!
825
00:37:36,454 --> 00:37:38,589
This isn't just one of those
Hollywood movies
826
00:37:38,623 --> 00:37:41,926
where a girl
is just going after a man.
827
00:37:41,959 --> 00:37:43,894
Unless you count the man
on the top of the trophy,
828
00:37:43,928 --> 00:37:46,831
which I guess I kinda am
going after.
829
00:37:46,864 --> 00:37:48,899
Dang. Eh.
830
00:37:57,141 --> 00:37:58,643
Whoo!
831
00:37:58,676 --> 00:38:00,511
There are times in a person's life
832
00:38:00,544 --> 00:38:02,113
where they can't lose,
833
00:38:02,146 --> 00:38:03,881
and that's me right now.
834
00:38:03,914 --> 00:38:04,982
I can't lose.
835
00:38:07,151 --> 00:38:09,720
Unless someone bowls
a higher score than me,
836
00:38:09,754 --> 00:38:12,823
and then I would lose.
837
00:38:12,857 --> 00:38:16,927
But I feel real good
about that not happening.
838
00:38:16,961 --> 00:38:19,063
Probably, to me.
839
00:38:19,096 --> 00:38:21,532
Wow. Powerful stuff, em.
840
00:38:26,170 --> 00:38:28,139
Oh, yeah, I heard all right,
you betcha.
841
00:38:28,172 --> 00:38:30,141
Yeah, Emily coming back
could not be better
842
00:38:30,174 --> 00:38:31,842
for a whole slew of reasons.
843
00:38:31,876 --> 00:38:33,477
I mean, she will bring
844
00:38:33,511 --> 00:38:35,079
literally dozens of fans with her,
845
00:38:35,112 --> 00:38:36,647
and more people to feed
846
00:38:36,681 --> 00:38:38,149
just equals more concession money.
847
00:38:38,182 --> 00:38:39,583
That's just an old-fashioned
blend of math
848
00:38:39,617 --> 00:38:42,053
and common sense right there.
849
00:38:42,086 --> 00:38:44,755
Barry, you're five minutes late.
850
00:38:44,789 --> 00:38:46,023
But crap, I'm 25 minutes early.
851
00:38:48,659 --> 00:38:51,095
I gotcha.
Just testing ya.
852
00:38:51,128 --> 00:38:53,798
Nah, I'm a fun boss.
853
00:38:53,831 --> 00:38:55,933
But, seriously, we like to
joke around about here.
854
00:38:55,966 --> 00:38:57,835
So, yeah. Hey, Adam.
855
00:38:57,868 --> 00:38:59,136
Hey, you coming to the
Roseau Bowl this year?
856
00:38:59,170 --> 00:39:01,038
You betcha.
See?
857
00:39:01,072 --> 00:39:03,941
Adam hasn't been to a Roseau
Bowl in three, four years.
858
00:39:03,974 --> 00:39:08,579
So not only will Emily
bring more fans with her,
859
00:39:08,612 --> 00:39:10,848
I just hope she can get redemption
860
00:39:10,881 --> 00:39:13,684
from what happened last time.
861
00:39:13,718 --> 00:39:18,756
What happened to my cousin,
her dad,
862
00:39:18,789 --> 00:39:21,625
it's inexcusable.
It makes me sick.
863
00:39:21,659 --> 00:39:23,961
Did she tell ya about that?
About the fart?
864
00:39:23,994 --> 00:39:26,163
Oh, no Siree.
No, Gunnar..
865
00:39:26,197 --> 00:39:28,032
Gunnar, he took it much further.
866
00:39:30,935 --> 00:39:34,739
It got ugly, that's all I can say.
867
00:39:34,772 --> 00:39:37,007
I'll leave her to tell ya
the rest about that.
868
00:39:38,876 --> 00:39:40,778
Barry! Quit sleeping on the job!
869
00:39:40,811 --> 00:39:42,480
I'm not. Frickin' eyes
are wide open.
870
00:39:42,513 --> 00:39:44,215
I was putting my lunch
in the friggin' thing.
871
00:39:44,248 --> 00:39:45,983
I'm just testing ya.
Freakin' blueberries and..
872
00:39:46,016 --> 00:39:48,085
Every stinkin' time.
Every stinkin' time.
873
00:39:55,926 --> 00:39:57,228
Warming up, baby.
874
00:39:57,261 --> 00:39:58,996
Gotta have those game day rituals.
875
00:39:59,029 --> 00:40:00,931
How many do you have?
876
00:40:03,567 --> 00:40:05,035
How long are you guys
gonna be here?
877
00:40:05,069 --> 00:40:07,138
Because I got a friggin'
crapload of 'em.
878
00:40:15,579 --> 00:40:18,716
No, I don't anything
real special to prepare.
879
00:40:18,749 --> 00:40:21,218
I'm just grading some
papers right here,
880
00:40:21,252 --> 00:40:23,087
and I'll probably
call Donna in a bit,
881
00:40:23,120 --> 00:40:24,822
see how she's doing.
882
00:40:24,855 --> 00:40:26,924
Honestly, it's really
just a normal day for me
883
00:40:26,957 --> 00:40:29,026
before I head on down to the alley.
884
00:40:29,059 --> 00:40:32,163
So you don't have any
superstitions or anything?
885
00:40:32,196 --> 00:40:33,764
Oh, gag me with a spoon.
886
00:40:44,308 --> 00:40:49,146
48, 49, 50.
887
00:40:55,686 --> 00:40:58,989
All part of the process
of being great,
888
00:40:59,023 --> 00:41:01,992
you gotta get the sugar
out of the cereal,
889
00:41:02,026 --> 00:41:04,695
but if you let it digest,
890
00:41:04,728 --> 00:41:07,565
you get all the bad carbs, too.
891
00:41:07,598 --> 00:41:08,732
A little secret I came up with
892
00:41:08,766 --> 00:41:10,935
to get the best of both worlds.
893
00:41:29,053 --> 00:41:30,321
50...
894
00:41:34,124 --> 00:41:36,627
I know I have what it takes
to win.
895
00:41:36,660 --> 00:41:39,330
I've prepared the way I need
to win.
896
00:41:39,363 --> 00:41:40,965
Superstitions?
897
00:41:40,998 --> 00:41:43,100
They're really just
another form of fear.
898
00:41:43,133 --> 00:41:47,271
That's a interesting way
to look at it.
899
00:41:47,304 --> 00:41:49,974
The way I see it, If I win,
900
00:41:50,007 --> 00:41:51,976
it's 'cause I was the best
that day.
901
00:41:52,009 --> 00:41:54,812
If I lose, it's 'cause I wasn't
good enough.
902
00:41:54,845 --> 00:41:57,681
This is the most important part
of the morning ritual.
903
00:41:57,715 --> 00:42:00,951
I gotta put my underwear on
inside out.
904
00:42:00,985 --> 00:42:02,586
Well, why's that?
905
00:42:02,620 --> 00:42:04,655
Uh, 12 years ago,
906
00:42:04,688 --> 00:42:06,323
I was on day three of my underwear
907
00:42:06,357 --> 00:42:08,325
the day of the competition.
908
00:42:08,359 --> 00:42:10,794
Obviously, you don't wanna smell,
909
00:42:10,828 --> 00:42:13,097
so I put them on inside out
910
00:42:13,130 --> 00:42:15,299
to squeeze one more day
out of the deal.
911
00:42:15,332 --> 00:42:18,602
That was the first time
I took home the gold.
912
00:42:18,636 --> 00:42:20,170
Ever since then,
913
00:42:20,204 --> 00:42:21,906
even if I've only worn them
one day
914
00:42:21,939 --> 00:42:23,774
or none days,
915
00:42:23,807 --> 00:42:27,711
I still turn them on inside out
the day of the tournament.
916
00:42:27,745 --> 00:42:29,813
I forgot to two times,
917
00:42:29,847 --> 00:42:32,149
and those are the two years
I got second.
918
00:42:32,182 --> 00:42:37,087
Coincidence?
No. Fact.
919
00:42:37,121 --> 00:42:39,823
You think you need to do that
to beat Emily as well?
920
00:42:39,857 --> 00:42:43,360
Ha! So funny I forget to laugh.
921
00:42:43,394 --> 00:42:45,262
You know what?
You're right.
922
00:42:45,296 --> 00:42:47,598
I'm gonna put 'em on regular
just to prove a point.
923
00:42:49,733 --> 00:42:53,704
Eh, I probably better just
put 'em on inside out.
924
00:42:53,737 --> 00:42:57,174
I mean, I'm coming up
on day seven now.
925
00:42:57,207 --> 00:42:59,343
It has nothing to do with Emily.
926
00:42:59,376 --> 00:43:01,045
You know, it's not gonna make
a lick of difference
927
00:43:01,078 --> 00:43:02,980
if I put on some magical T-Shirt,
928
00:43:03,013 --> 00:43:06,784
if I put my underpants inside out,
that's just fear.
929
00:43:06,817 --> 00:43:09,286
So you know about Gunnar?
930
00:43:09,320 --> 00:43:11,188
Huh?
931
00:43:11,221 --> 00:43:13,023
Gunnar puts his underwear
inside out
932
00:43:13,057 --> 00:43:14,758
the day of the tournament.
933
00:43:14,792 --> 00:43:15,793
No.
934
00:43:18,128 --> 00:43:19,029
No.
935
00:43:20,397 --> 00:43:21,799
No.
936
00:43:25,836 --> 00:43:27,371
Get outta town.
937
00:43:30,341 --> 00:43:33,177
No, no, no, no. No!
938
00:43:33,210 --> 00:43:36,313
This is happening.
Gunnar versus Emily.
939
00:43:36,347 --> 00:43:38,449
The epic showdown that'll make
940
00:43:38,482 --> 00:43:41,885
the Federation-Klingon War of 2372
941
00:43:41,919 --> 00:43:45,389
look like the Vrash slaughter
by the people of Pasik.
942
00:43:45,422 --> 00:43:48,926
That's right.
Gunnar's got this.
943
00:43:48,959 --> 00:43:50,427
Me and Gunnar,
944
00:43:50,461 --> 00:43:52,930
we're gonna be the stars
of the show.
945
00:43:52,963 --> 00:43:55,132
Why you?
946
00:43:55,165 --> 00:43:56,834
Oh, you didn't..
You didn't hear?
947
00:43:56,867 --> 00:44:00,704
Um, they chose..
They chose me to be the guy
948
00:44:00,738 --> 00:44:05,209
who sings the USA National Anthem
for the bowling thing.
949
00:44:05,242 --> 00:44:08,278
So, uh,
950
00:44:08,312 --> 00:44:12,249
if you guys wanted, I could probably
give you a little sneak pre..
951
00:44:13,450 --> 00:44:17,021
♪ You know you've arrived
952
00:44:17,054 --> 00:44:20,424
♪ You've finally made your move ♪
953
00:44:23,527 --> 00:44:24,695
Emily?
954
00:44:26,030 --> 00:44:28,465
Em?
955
00:44:28,499 --> 00:44:31,101
Hey, Em, it's Nick.
956
00:44:31,135 --> 00:44:33,370
Long hair don't care.
957
00:44:33,404 --> 00:44:35,139
Back hair don't care.
958
00:44:35,172 --> 00:44:37,141
Time to go to the tournament, Em.
959
00:44:37,174 --> 00:44:38,842
Time to bowl some strikes,
960
00:44:38,876 --> 00:44:40,811
get some spares.
961
00:44:42,446 --> 00:44:47,217
Emily, are you all right?
962
00:44:47,251 --> 00:44:50,788
Heck no. No, I'm.. I'm sick,
you know?
963
00:44:50,821 --> 00:44:53,023
I'm sicker than a dog
in an ice fishing hole.
964
00:44:53,057 --> 00:44:56,093
Yeah, hey, Em,
the tournament's today.
965
00:44:56,126 --> 00:44:58,462
The big tournament.
966
00:44:58,495 --> 00:45:00,531
Did you forget that it's today?
967
00:45:00,564 --> 00:45:03,233
The Roseau Bowl?
I know, Nick, I know.
968
00:45:03,267 --> 00:45:05,269
Okay.
969
00:45:05,302 --> 00:45:06,537
I'm, uh, you know,
970
00:45:06,570 --> 00:45:10,174
I can have Bjorn bowl in my place.
971
00:45:10,207 --> 00:45:12,409
I don't..
I don't think that's such..
972
00:45:12,443 --> 00:45:14,111
Such a really good idea, Em.
973
00:45:16,380 --> 00:45:19,550
I've got nothing else.
Psych out, Em.
974
00:45:19,583 --> 00:45:21,819
You've got you.
975
00:45:21,852 --> 00:45:24,788
Come on, I mean,
you're amazing at everything.
976
00:45:24,822 --> 00:45:28,058
And that's why I'm so thankful
for our friendship.
977
00:45:28,092 --> 00:45:29,827
And, I mean, I know
978
00:45:29,860 --> 00:45:31,962
that there's never gonna be
anything more than that,
979
00:45:31,995 --> 00:45:34,298
and that's totally okay.
980
00:45:34,331 --> 00:45:36,266
You can't help but be into babes.
981
00:45:36,300 --> 00:45:38,268
So what, you're into babes.
982
00:45:38,302 --> 00:45:39,803
You know, I can't blame you,
983
00:45:39,837 --> 00:45:41,572
because I'm totally into babes.
984
00:45:41,605 --> 00:45:44,908
Babes are literally my most
favorite thing in the world.
985
00:45:44,942 --> 00:45:46,477
It's, like, why I do anything.
986
00:45:46,510 --> 00:45:48,145
Why do I go outside?
987
00:45:48,178 --> 00:45:49,947
Uh, I don't know.
Hopefully I see a babe.
988
00:45:49,980 --> 00:45:52,483
You know, it's like my life's motto.
989
00:45:52,516 --> 00:45:55,018
A babe a day...
Feeds the Boner Buffet.
990
00:45:55,052 --> 00:45:56,353
I know.
I helped you write that.
991
00:45:56,386 --> 00:45:58,455
But what're you trying to say?
992
00:45:58,489 --> 00:46:01,892
I'm trying to say that I really
just love being your friend,
993
00:46:01,925 --> 00:46:04,495
and I know you can do this.
994
00:46:04,528 --> 00:46:07,564
Whether you're sick or not,
Em, I believe in you.
995
00:46:07,598 --> 00:46:09,133
That's sweet.
Frick yeah, it's sweet.
996
00:46:09,166 --> 00:46:11,101
I'm a frickin' sweet guy.
997
00:46:11,135 --> 00:46:13,971
You know, hey, you remember
your most viewed vlog, right?
998
00:46:14,004 --> 00:46:15,839
Oh, jeez, yeah, of course.
999
00:46:15,873 --> 00:46:18,041
Yeah, well, you were sick
when you were doing that, too.
1000
00:46:18,075 --> 00:46:20,043
Yeah, okay, but, you know,
how does that relate?
1001
00:46:20,077 --> 00:46:22,045
Well, that's the episode
that you talked about
1002
00:46:22,079 --> 00:46:24,047
the art of the follow-through.
1003
00:46:24,081 --> 00:46:27,584
Not just in bowling,
but in real life, too.
1004
00:46:27,618 --> 00:46:29,987
You know, you've always known
how to get exactly what you want
1005
00:46:30,020 --> 00:46:31,989
by just following through.
1006
00:46:32,022 --> 00:46:34,258
That's why, what,
a million people or so
1007
00:46:34,291 --> 00:46:36,627
have watched that episode
when like most
1008
00:46:36,660 --> 00:46:38,962
have barely gotten a hundred.
1009
00:46:38,996 --> 00:46:40,597
Okay, Nick,
that's not why all those people
1010
00:46:40,631 --> 00:46:43,567
watched that video.
Oh, really?
1011
00:46:43,600 --> 00:46:46,503
Yeah, that's the episode where my
boob popped out for nearly a minute.
1012
00:46:46,537 --> 00:46:48,639
That's right, 54 seconds.
You know, I didn't even know
1013
00:46:48,672 --> 00:46:50,440
my boob popped out until
I saw that video had over
1014
00:46:50,474 --> 00:46:52,442
a hundred thousand views.
Yeah, the video got so big
1015
00:46:52,476 --> 00:46:54,545
because know how to follow through.
1016
00:46:54,578 --> 00:46:56,547
I mean, it's like,
no matter how sick you get
1017
00:46:56,580 --> 00:46:58,415
or how long your titty
hangs out of your shirt,
1018
00:46:58,448 --> 00:47:00,284
you just keep going.
1019
00:47:00,317 --> 00:47:02,052
You know, you're so dedicated.
1020
00:47:02,085 --> 00:47:06,023
Look, Em, it's like,
no matter what you decide,
1021
00:47:06,056 --> 00:47:08,525
I'm always gonna be
in your corner, all right?
1022
00:47:08,559 --> 00:47:11,929
I appreciate it.
1023
00:47:11,962 --> 00:47:14,865
Um, but I..
You know, I...
1024
00:47:16,533 --> 00:47:18,602
I just don't think I can do it.
1025
00:47:18,635 --> 00:47:20,971
Em, I know you can do it.
1026
00:47:21,004 --> 00:47:22,439
I hope you change your mind.
1027
00:47:29,079 --> 00:47:30,480
All right, get outta here.
1028
00:47:30,514 --> 00:47:31,582
Okay.
1029
00:47:49,566 --> 00:47:51,235
Hey there, Barry.
1030
00:47:51,268 --> 00:47:54,571
Cash drawer come out on point
three days in a row?
1031
00:47:56,373 --> 00:47:58,609
Ah, jeez. Hello?
1032
00:47:58,642 --> 00:48:02,546
This illness really hit you quickly.
1033
00:48:02,579 --> 00:48:05,515
Yeah. I, uh,
1034
00:48:05,549 --> 00:48:08,385
I suppose it did.
1035
00:48:08,418 --> 00:48:09,686
I guess we should probably
get going
1036
00:48:09,720 --> 00:48:11,121
so we don't catch anything.
1037
00:48:14,124 --> 00:48:16,393
No, you'll..
1038
00:48:16,426 --> 00:48:17,928
You'll be fine.
1039
00:48:20,130 --> 00:48:22,432
Ugh. I just got a call from Nick.
1040
00:48:22,466 --> 00:48:25,702
He says I'm supposed to bowl
in Em's place.
1041
00:48:25,736 --> 00:48:28,105
Gosh, she's sick or something?
I don't know.
1042
00:48:28,138 --> 00:48:30,674
Must be some kinda doofus
taking crazy pills
1043
00:48:30,707 --> 00:48:32,976
to think I can bowl
in a tournament like that.
1044
00:48:33,010 --> 00:48:35,178
We got people coming in
from friggin' Anoka
1045
00:48:35,212 --> 00:48:38,048
and friggin' Blaine
and friggin' Coon Rapids.
1046
00:48:38,081 --> 00:48:39,416
I was just thinkin' about my dad.
1047
00:48:41,618 --> 00:48:43,487
Where is he now?
1048
00:48:47,457 --> 00:48:50,260
Dead.
Oh.
1049
00:48:50,294 --> 00:48:52,262
I'm so sorry.
1050
00:48:56,199 --> 00:49:00,337
You know, Gunnar was just
pushing and pushing...
1051
00:49:00,370 --> 00:49:02,139
And the mooning and the farting...
1052
00:49:05,375 --> 00:49:07,611
You know, as if I didn't
already feel bad enough
1053
00:49:07,644 --> 00:49:09,613
about losing, you know?
1054
00:49:09,646 --> 00:49:12,215
He had to go and make it
infinity times worse.
1055
00:49:16,453 --> 00:49:19,489
And, uh..
1056
00:49:19,523 --> 00:49:21,325
And, uh, my dad stepped in.
1057
00:49:24,828 --> 00:49:27,497
But, uh,
1058
00:49:27,531 --> 00:49:30,300
I think he musta got
over heated or something...
1059
00:49:33,103 --> 00:49:36,039
And, uh..
1060
00:49:36,073 --> 00:49:38,108
You know, in his heart because...
1061
00:49:42,679 --> 00:49:44,381
He had a heart attack.
1062
00:49:47,684 --> 00:49:48,752
And he...
1063
00:49:51,755 --> 00:49:53,657
He died.
1064
00:50:02,666 --> 00:50:04,267
I'm sorry.
1065
00:50:09,806 --> 00:50:13,610
He was by best friend in the world,
1066
00:50:13,643 --> 00:50:15,779
and it's my fault that he died.
1067
00:50:18,582 --> 00:50:20,717
Bro!
1068
00:50:20,751 --> 00:50:22,185
Your bowler's not here yet.
1069
00:50:22,219 --> 00:50:23,653
Yeah.
Where's Emily?
1070
00:50:23,687 --> 00:50:26,189
I'm talking about you.
We got bad news, Bro.
1071
00:50:26,223 --> 00:50:27,524
Well, yeah, you're telling me.
1072
00:50:27,557 --> 00:50:29,726
There's literally, I don't know,
1073
00:50:29,760 --> 00:50:31,728
tens of people here to see
the big showdown.
1074
00:50:31,762 --> 00:50:33,330
Yeah, that's the thing.
1075
00:50:33,363 --> 00:50:34,564
There's not gonna be a big
showdown, man.
1076
00:50:34,598 --> 00:50:36,733
Emily's sick.
1077
00:50:36,767 --> 00:50:38,602
No kidding?
1078
00:50:38,635 --> 00:50:40,137
Yeah, man, dead serious, Bro.
1079
00:50:40,170 --> 00:50:42,806
Oh, jeez.
1080
00:50:42,839 --> 00:50:44,408
Oh, jeez.
Yeah. Oh, jeez, is right.
1081
00:50:44,441 --> 00:50:46,243
I just hope she's okay.
1082
00:50:46,276 --> 00:50:48,645
Yeah, I just hope these people
stick around long enough...
1083
00:50:51,281 --> 00:50:53,750
For nothing.
1084
00:50:53,784 --> 00:50:56,486
I frigging stocked concessions
plum full for this.
1085
00:50:59,289 --> 00:51:00,524
Well, scram!
1086
00:51:13,470 --> 00:51:15,772
Attention, everyone.
1087
00:51:15,806 --> 00:51:17,774
Emily will not be making it
to the tournament.
1088
00:51:20,177 --> 00:51:23,480
Look, be sure to ease
your sorrows, um,
1089
00:51:23,513 --> 00:51:26,149
with an ice cold fountain drink
or a nice hot "Pretzable",
1090
00:51:26,183 --> 00:51:28,652
available at the, um,
1091
00:51:28,685 --> 00:51:31,788
right over there
at the concession stand.
1092
00:51:31,822 --> 00:51:35,158
Look, this news is sure sour,
so get something sweet,
1093
00:51:35,192 --> 00:51:36,893
like a candy bar
or maybe some taffy.
1094
00:51:36,927 --> 00:51:38,528
You can also upgrade any meal
1095
00:51:38,562 --> 00:51:40,864
with an order of nice
hot seasoned fries.
1096
00:51:45,836 --> 00:51:48,472
Anywho, we're gonna go ahead and
get started with the tournament.
1097
00:51:48,505 --> 00:51:49,940
Let's, uh,
1098
00:51:49,973 --> 00:51:53,443
have Barry Williams here
to sing the national anthem.
1099
00:52:00,517 --> 00:52:02,886
One, two, three, four.
♪ Oh
1100
00:52:02,919 --> 00:52:06,323
Hey, em, I hear
you're feeling real junky.
1101
00:52:06,356 --> 00:52:09,659
Yeah, yeah, you know, I, uh,
1102
00:52:09,693 --> 00:52:12,529
got a real bad sinus infection
in my lower abdomen,
1103
00:52:12,562 --> 00:52:15,699
and, uh, it's real bad, you know?
1104
00:52:15,732 --> 00:52:17,701
You ain't sick, are ya?
1105
00:52:17,734 --> 00:52:21,638
I mean, those tissues aren't
from blowing your nose.
1106
00:52:30,714 --> 00:52:32,549
What happened to dad
wasn't your fault.
1107
00:52:32,582 --> 00:52:34,618
I know, but I..
Plus, let's not pretend
1108
00:52:34,651 --> 00:52:36,620
he was exactly the picture of health.
1109
00:52:36,653 --> 00:52:38,588
Well, a three-time
Schnitzel-eating champion never is.
1110
00:52:38,622 --> 00:52:41,658
No. Look, Em,
1111
00:52:41,691 --> 00:52:44,528
dad would want you to bowl.
1112
00:52:44,561 --> 00:52:46,596
So what'd you say?
1113
00:52:51,701 --> 00:52:53,670
And we are underway, fans.
1114
00:52:53,703 --> 00:52:56,373
I am Alan Johnson, owner of
this beautiful establishment,
1115
00:52:56,406 --> 00:52:59,709
and alongside me as always,
the gorgeous vocal minority
1116
00:52:59,743 --> 00:53:02,646
and my brother from another
mother, Johnny.
1117
00:53:02,679 --> 00:53:04,981
Yeah, see, our dad couldn't
keep it in his pants.
1118
00:53:05,015 --> 00:53:07,751
Looks like today's the day
there's gonna be a bowling game.
1119
00:53:07,784 --> 00:53:09,386
Excellent color there, Johnny.
1120
00:53:09,419 --> 00:53:10,887
Might I add, the suit
looks amazing on you,
1121
00:53:10,921 --> 00:53:12,956
as it has the last seven days
in a row.
1122
00:53:12,989 --> 00:53:15,325
Well, you don't make a trip
all the way to Mall of America
1123
00:53:15,358 --> 00:53:16,960
just for cargo shorts.
You certainly don't.
1124
00:53:16,993 --> 00:53:18,728
Let's get down to the floor.
1125
00:53:25,735 --> 00:53:27,470
And a perfect strike for Gunnar.
1126
00:53:27,504 --> 00:53:30,707
Two more of those, and he is
out of the competition.
1127
00:53:30,740 --> 00:53:33,310
No, that's a turkey. I'm not
actually doing meat right now.
1128
00:53:33,343 --> 00:53:35,512
I'm kind of on a cleanse.
Well, it's working.
1129
00:53:35,545 --> 00:53:38,415
You look fantastic.
My bowels feel amazing.
1130
00:53:40,450 --> 00:53:42,352
Hey! Hey, Emily's here.
What?
1131
00:53:42,385 --> 00:53:45,455
No. No.
Can you believe Emily showed up?
1132
00:53:45,488 --> 00:53:48,625
Absolutely, I'm looking right
at her.
1133
00:53:48,658 --> 00:53:51,294
Sorry I'm late.
A little too late really.
1134
00:53:51,328 --> 00:53:53,430
Ooh. Right-o.
Shut up, Johnny.
1135
00:53:53,463 --> 00:53:54,831
Sorry.
We already started.
1136
00:53:54,864 --> 00:53:56,299
I'm really not sorry.
It's true.
1137
00:53:56,333 --> 00:53:58,368
We actually did start already.
1138
00:53:58,401 --> 00:54:00,370
Well, has everyone bowled yet?
Just me, toots.
1139
00:54:00,403 --> 00:54:01,905
Strike.
1140
00:54:01,938 --> 00:54:03,340
The rules state that as long as
1141
00:54:03,373 --> 00:54:05,542
no bowler has bowled two frames,
1142
00:54:05,575 --> 00:54:08,311
new competitors are permitted
to join the competition
1143
00:54:08,345 --> 00:54:09,980
with the majority vote of all bowlers
1144
00:54:10,013 --> 00:54:11,781
and permission from the commissioner.
1145
00:54:11,815 --> 00:54:13,583
Let me see that.
No, that's not the rule book.
1146
00:54:13,617 --> 00:54:15,085
It's, uh, "Sisterhood of the
traveling pants."
1147
00:54:15,118 --> 00:54:18,622
No spoilers.
You know I've got no problem.
1148
00:54:18,655 --> 00:54:20,790
Thirsty for a showdown?
Hurry up and quench that thirst
1149
00:54:20,824 --> 00:54:22,058
right now with a ice cold
fountain drink
1150
00:54:22,092 --> 00:54:24,327
available at the concession stand.
1151
00:54:24,361 --> 00:54:26,329
This is ridiculous!
I'm trying to have a tournament here!
1152
00:54:26,363 --> 00:54:27,998
The only thing that's ridiculous
is the savings
1153
00:54:28,031 --> 00:54:30,700
when you buy a jumbo cheese
pretzel or nachos
1154
00:54:30,734 --> 00:54:33,036
available right now at the
concession stand.
1155
00:54:33,069 --> 00:54:35,405
What's the matter, Gunnar?
You look scared.
1156
00:54:35,438 --> 00:54:37,807
I mean, I would be, too,
if I were you.
1157
00:54:37,841 --> 00:54:41,378
I'm not afraid of nothing.
So you are afraid of something.
1158
00:54:41,411 --> 00:54:43,380
No. I just said
"I'm not afraid of nothing."
1159
00:54:43,413 --> 00:54:44,748
You just used a double-negative,
1160
00:54:44,781 --> 00:54:46,416
thus turning it into a positive,
1161
00:54:46,449 --> 00:54:48,618
which translates to
"I am scared of something."
1162
00:54:48,652 --> 00:54:51,621
So you are scared of something.
We wanna know what it is.
1163
00:54:51,655 --> 00:54:53,390
Yeah, you know, he's not wrong.
1164
00:54:53,423 --> 00:54:55,025
It's bees, isn't it?
I'm scared of bees, too.
1165
00:54:55,058 --> 00:54:56,893
I'm not even allergic or anything.
1166
00:54:56,926 --> 00:54:59,062
I just hate getting stung.
Getting stung is the worst.
1167
00:54:59,095 --> 00:55:01,097
Right? And the swelling
and the itching..
1168
00:55:01,131 --> 00:55:02,799
All right! Get the vote already!
You heard the man.
1169
00:55:02,832 --> 00:55:05,135
All bowlers in favor of Emily
joining the competition
1170
00:55:05,168 --> 00:55:07,704
just say "Aye."
Aye.
1171
00:55:07,737 --> 00:55:10,040
Aye.
No!
1172
00:55:10,073 --> 00:55:12,742
An overwhelming majority.
Let's get started, folks.
1173
00:55:12,776 --> 00:55:14,778
Fine, but be prepared to be dominated.
1174
00:55:14,811 --> 00:55:17,380
I'm not taking it easy on nobody.
1175
00:55:17,414 --> 00:55:20,050
So he is taking it easy on somebody.
1176
00:55:20,083 --> 00:55:21,918
Stay tuned to find out whom.
1177
00:55:21,951 --> 00:55:24,921
Shut up, Johnny.
Start speaking American.
1178
00:55:24,954 --> 00:55:26,656
You're gonna get it, Emily!
1179
00:55:30,060 --> 00:55:32,595
♪ Wake up in the morning
1180
00:55:32,629 --> 00:55:35,031
♪ Feel like number one
1181
00:55:35,065 --> 00:55:36,566
Ski-u-mah!
1182
00:55:36,599 --> 00:55:39,436
♪ Starting my day off winning ♪
1183
00:55:39,469 --> 00:55:41,938
♪ Yeah, I'm gonna be the champion ♪
1184
00:55:41,971 --> 00:55:43,640
♪ Yeah
1185
00:55:43,673 --> 00:55:46,142
♪ Been a long time coming
1186
00:55:46,176 --> 00:55:49,779
♪ But I know my time is now
1187
00:55:49,813 --> 00:55:53,149
♪ I slay the competition
1188
00:55:53,183 --> 00:55:55,618
♪ Let me tell you how...
1189
00:55:55,652 --> 00:55:58,788
Gunnar and Emily have really
run away with it.
1190
00:55:58,822 --> 00:56:01,491
Ninth frame,
Gunnar leads by seven pins.
1191
00:56:01,524 --> 00:56:03,860
Emily needs a miracle here.
She certainly does.
1192
00:56:03,893 --> 00:56:05,795
Either that or to pick up
1193
00:56:05,829 --> 00:56:08,465
eight more points than Gunnar
on the next two boxes.
1194
00:56:08,498 --> 00:56:11,167
I believe that would do the trick
as well. It absolutely would.
1195
00:56:11,201 --> 00:56:13,570
It absolutely would.
Let's get right back into it.
1196
00:56:15,105 --> 00:56:16,773
♪ If you
1197
00:56:16,806 --> 00:56:18,475
♪ Want to be the best
1198
00:56:18,508 --> 00:56:20,977
Oh! Friggin' no!
1199
00:56:21,010 --> 00:56:23,580
Gunnar does not like the looks
of that. Is it possible
1200
00:56:23,613 --> 00:56:24,914
there was something strategic
1201
00:56:24,948 --> 00:56:26,883
about leaving those two pins there?
1202
00:56:26,916 --> 00:56:28,485
Perhaps he's planning for a
future move,
1203
00:56:28,518 --> 00:56:29,819
and this is a setup.
1204
00:56:29,853 --> 00:56:31,788
Anything along those lines
possible at all?
1205
00:56:31,821 --> 00:56:33,990
Absolutely not.
Right-o.
1206
00:56:34,023 --> 00:56:35,859
Here comes Emily, her chances,
although grim,
1207
00:56:35,892 --> 00:56:38,194
not quite eliminated
from the game mathematically.
1208
00:56:38,228 --> 00:56:40,029
I was actually in Emily's math class.
1209
00:56:40,063 --> 00:56:41,231
And though not quite half a tard,
1210
00:56:41,264 --> 00:56:43,867
certainly no straight-A student.
1211
00:56:43,900 --> 00:56:46,770
♪ You have got to be
1212
00:56:46,803 --> 00:56:49,506
♪ Better than, better than
1213
00:56:49,539 --> 00:56:51,007
♪ Better than the rest
1214
00:56:51,040 --> 00:56:53,109
♪ There can only be one...
1215
00:56:53,143 --> 00:56:54,944
Shoot.
Emily just barely misses
1216
00:56:54,978 --> 00:56:56,780
That strike.
Mmm, perhaps
1217
00:56:56,813 --> 00:56:59,649
If she'd taken it just
a bee's dick to the left,
1218
00:56:59,682 --> 00:57:01,518
she would've picked up that
last pin.
1219
00:57:01,551 --> 00:57:03,253
That would be a higher score.
1220
00:57:03,286 --> 00:57:05,955
Great job with your numbers, Johnny.
1221
00:57:05,989 --> 00:57:07,657
Here comes Gunnar to open up
the tenth frame.
1222
00:57:07,690 --> 00:57:10,827
♪ I see my destination
1223
00:57:10,860 --> 00:57:14,164
♪ Trophy in my hand
He shoots.
1224
00:57:14,197 --> 00:57:16,900
He scores!
Like a tater tot hot dish,
1225
00:57:16,933 --> 00:57:20,270
that is yummy.
Smells like victory.
1226
00:57:20,303 --> 00:57:23,239
No, you smell bad,
and I'm being serious.
1227
00:57:23,273 --> 00:57:25,775
Maybe I beefed.
Deal with it.
1228
00:57:25,809 --> 00:57:27,644
Whoo!
1229
00:57:27,677 --> 00:57:29,612
Friggin' gross.
1230
00:57:29,646 --> 00:57:32,282
♪ There can only be one
1231
00:57:32,315 --> 00:57:34,017
♪ One, one
1232
00:57:34,050 --> 00:57:36,152
♪ One champion
1233
00:57:36,186 --> 00:57:39,022
Another strike.
Unbelievable.
1234
00:57:39,055 --> 00:57:41,157
I have not seen dance moves
like that
1235
00:57:41,191 --> 00:57:43,660
since the last time
our dad got remarried...
1236
00:57:43,693 --> 00:57:45,228
Again.
That is spot on.
1237
00:57:45,261 --> 00:57:46,930
Gunnar looks to put
the final nail in the coffin
1238
00:57:46,963 --> 00:57:49,632
for round one.
♪ One champion
1239
00:57:49,666 --> 00:57:52,235
♪ Whoa, whoa
1240
00:57:52,268 --> 00:57:53,970
♪ One, one
1241
00:57:54,003 --> 00:57:56,139
♪ One champion
I cannot believe it.
1242
00:57:56,172 --> 00:57:58,007
Closed out the game with a turkey.
1243
00:57:58,041 --> 00:58:00,176
Emily will take an easy
second place,
1244
00:58:00,210 --> 00:58:02,712
but it's no longer possible
for her to win game one.
1245
00:58:02,745 --> 00:58:05,882
Yes, she would need a miracle.
No, she literally can't win.
1246
00:58:05,915 --> 00:58:07,083
Exactly.
1247
00:58:22,899 --> 00:58:25,735
I didn't know you were gonna
make it so easy for me.
1248
00:58:25,768 --> 00:58:28,571
Oh, yeah?
Well, I'm all warmed up now.
1249
00:58:28,605 --> 00:58:31,841
So you're going downtown,
Buster Brown.
1250
00:58:31,875 --> 00:58:34,811
Hah! You keep bowling
like a can of rotten lutefisk,
1251
00:58:34,844 --> 00:58:36,813
the only thing going down is you
1252
00:58:36,846 --> 00:58:38,615
into the trash can.
Yeah?
1253
00:58:38,648 --> 00:58:41,284
Well, at least I don't
smell like rotten lutefisk.
1254
00:58:41,317 --> 00:58:43,286
You're always eatin' it,
1255
00:58:43,319 --> 00:58:45,288
when it's rotten, probably.
1256
00:58:45,321 --> 00:58:48,057
Ooh, shots fired.
1257
00:58:49,692 --> 00:58:52,328
♪ 'Cause if you
1258
00:58:52,362 --> 00:58:57,367
♪ Want to be the best
1259
00:58:57,400 --> 00:59:00,069
♪ You have got to be
1260
00:59:00,103 --> 00:59:02,639
♪ Better than, better than
1261
00:59:02,672 --> 00:59:04,274
♪ Better than the rest
1262
00:59:04,307 --> 00:59:07,210
♪ There can only be one
1263
00:59:07,243 --> 00:59:08,912
♪ One, one
1264
00:59:08,945 --> 00:59:11,047
♪ One champion
1265
00:59:11,080 --> 00:59:13,983
♪ There can only be one
1266
00:59:14,017 --> 00:59:15,818
♪ One, one
1267
00:59:15,852 --> 00:59:18,021
♪ One champion
1268
00:59:18,054 --> 00:59:22,058
♪ Whoa, whoa, one, one, one champion ♪
1269
00:59:22,091 --> 00:59:24,060
All right, this is it, Em.
1270
00:59:24,093 --> 00:59:25,695
I believe in ya.
1271
00:59:27,297 --> 00:59:29,265
I don't..
1272
00:59:29,299 --> 00:59:31,801
I don't think I can beat him.
1273
00:59:31,834 --> 00:59:33,069
There's nobody on this planet
1274
00:59:33,102 --> 00:59:35,204
I believe in more than you,
1275
00:59:35,238 --> 00:59:37,273
and I met Leonard Nimoy once.
1276
00:59:37,307 --> 00:59:38,942
And if he were to show up to
this thing,
1277
00:59:38,975 --> 00:59:41,110
I'd still believe in you more.
1278
00:59:41,144 --> 00:59:42,879
I mean, it'd be close, but, uh,
1279
00:59:42,912 --> 00:59:44,080
you'd take the cake.
1280
00:59:44,113 --> 00:59:46,282
Leonard Nimoy's dead.
1281
00:59:46,316 --> 00:59:48,651
What?
Yeah.
1282
00:59:48,685 --> 00:59:52,288
Well then, some other star
that has what it takes
1283
00:59:52,322 --> 00:59:54,424
to pull through when the odds
are against 'em,
1284
00:59:54,457 --> 00:59:56,192
like, uh, Whitney Houston.
1285
00:59:56,225 --> 00:59:58,394
What I'm tryin' to say is
you have it in ya.
1286
00:59:58,428 --> 01:00:00,263
You always have.
1287
01:00:00,296 --> 01:00:02,699
And just like Miss Houston herself,
1288
01:00:02,732 --> 01:00:05,234
you will continue to succeed
for years to come.
1289
01:00:05,268 --> 01:00:08,071
Bobby Brown can't keep you down.
1290
01:00:08,104 --> 01:00:09,939
It's time to get some.
1291
01:00:09,973 --> 01:00:12,742
♪ And I
1292
01:00:12,775 --> 01:00:15,144
And we are back, round two of three.
1293
01:00:15,178 --> 01:00:18,147
If Gunnar wins this one,
it's all over.
1294
01:00:18,181 --> 01:00:21,851
♪ Make way,
'cause I'm coming through ♪
1295
01:00:21,884 --> 01:00:27,724
♪ Ain't nothing You can do... ♪
1296
01:00:27,757 --> 01:00:31,060
Fair dinkum!
That was an absolute pearl.
1297
01:00:31,094 --> 01:00:34,931
♪ Second place,
you watched me win ♪
1298
01:00:34,964 --> 01:00:36,799
♪ Third place means you suck
Gunnar really needs
1299
01:00:36,833 --> 01:00:38,968
to pick up his game before
he lets this one slip away.
1300
01:00:39,002 --> 01:00:41,971
He is bowling like a real dick.
I can hear you.
1301
01:00:42,005 --> 01:00:44,974
♪ No one gives a fuck
1302
01:00:45,008 --> 01:00:47,310
♪ 'Cause if you
1303
01:00:47,343 --> 01:00:52,949
♪ Want to be the best
1304
01:00:52,982 --> 01:00:55,818
♪ You have got to be
1305
01:00:55,852 --> 01:00:58,321
♪ Better than, better than
1306
01:00:58,354 --> 01:01:00,023
♪ Better than the rest
1307
01:01:00,056 --> 01:01:05,028
♪ There can only be one
1308
01:01:05,061 --> 01:01:06,929
♪ Better than the rest
1309
01:01:06,963 --> 01:01:09,165
♪ There can only be one
1310
01:01:09,198 --> 01:01:11,167
Wow. That's two in a row for Emily.
1311
01:01:11,200 --> 01:01:13,169
She is perfect so far.
1312
01:01:13,202 --> 01:01:15,338
Imagine what emily's score
might be if she continues
1313
01:01:15,371 --> 01:01:17,807
this perfect streak all the
way through.
1314
01:01:17,840 --> 01:01:19,842
300.
Close to what I would assume,
1315
01:01:19,876 --> 01:01:22,145
but there's no way of
knowing for sure.
1316
01:01:22,178 --> 01:01:25,381
♪ There can only be one
1317
01:01:25,415 --> 01:01:27,417
♪ One, one, one champion
1318
01:01:27,450 --> 01:01:29,519
and another strike for Emily.
1319
01:01:29,552 --> 01:01:32,889
Halfway through, and she's still perfect.
It is safe to say
1320
01:01:32,922 --> 01:01:34,891
that Emily is the Serena Williams
1321
01:01:34,924 --> 01:01:36,859
of awkward white people sports.
1322
01:01:36,893 --> 01:01:39,295
She certainly is, and she is phenomenal.
1323
01:01:39,328 --> 01:01:40,763
♪ One, one
1324
01:01:40,797 --> 01:01:43,132
♪ One champion
1325
01:01:43,166 --> 01:01:46,069
♪ There can only be one
1326
01:01:46,102 --> 01:01:49,939
♪ One, one, one champion
1327
01:01:49,972 --> 01:01:53,142
♪ There can only be one
1328
01:01:53,176 --> 01:01:56,913
♪ One, one, one champion
1329
01:01:56,946 --> 01:01:59,082
♪ There can only be one...
1330
01:01:59,115 --> 01:02:01,217
Emily's got this one in the bag.
1331
01:02:01,250 --> 01:02:03,086
We are going to a third, folks.
1332
01:02:03,119 --> 01:02:05,254
Whoo! Nice!
1333
01:02:05,288 --> 01:02:07,824
I knew you could do it.
I knew you could do it.
1334
01:02:07,857 --> 01:02:09,826
You know, I'm starting to believe
in me like you believe in me.
1335
01:02:09,859 --> 01:02:11,127
You should.
I mean, you're amazing.
1336
01:02:11,160 --> 01:02:13,996
All luck, all luck.
All luck?
1337
01:02:14,030 --> 01:02:15,465
Hah! My butt.
1338
01:02:15,498 --> 01:02:17,333
You want me to go "Batman Forever"
on your ass?
1339
01:02:17,366 --> 01:02:19,469
Hey! Hey! Hey!
Make your face look like Seal?
1340
01:02:19,502 --> 01:02:21,871
You're about to get a kiss
from a rose. That is not cool.
1341
01:02:21,904 --> 01:02:23,239
Seal's skin is like that
from a disease.
1342
01:02:23,272 --> 01:02:24,874
Pretty sure it's from a shark attack.
1343
01:02:24,907 --> 01:02:26,542
That's where he got his
nickname "Seal."
1344
01:02:26,576 --> 01:02:29,912
Uh, Seal has lupus.
Then how can he walk?
1345
01:02:29,946 --> 01:02:31,581
He get better doctors
than President Roosevelt?
1346
01:02:31,614 --> 01:02:35,351
Uh, F.D.R. Had Polio.
Yeah? You have Polio,
1347
01:02:35,384 --> 01:02:38,855
and I'm a shark about to attack,
and you're nothing but a seal
1348
01:02:38,888 --> 01:02:41,023
without all the killer slow jams.
You know what?
1349
01:02:41,057 --> 01:02:43,126
You're a friggin' idiot.
I might be an idiot,
1350
01:02:43,159 --> 01:02:45,294
but at least I'm not gonna
choke in the last game.
1351
01:02:45,328 --> 01:02:48,498
You done it before, you'll do
it again. Everybody knows it.
1352
01:02:48,531 --> 01:02:51,200
Then you'll have to go away
and hide for another five years.
1353
01:02:52,969 --> 01:02:55,872
Also, I'm not an idiot.
1354
01:03:11,487 --> 01:03:15,324
♪ I see my destination
1355
01:03:15,358 --> 01:03:18,528
♪ Trophy in my hand
Let's go.
1356
01:03:18,561 --> 01:03:21,998
♪ And no one's gonna touch me ♪
♪ You can't touch me
1357
01:03:22,031 --> 01:03:26,335
♪ 'Cause I have a plan
1358
01:03:26,369 --> 01:03:28,504
♪ 'Cause if you
1359
01:03:28,538 --> 01:03:33,476
♪ Want to be the best
1360
01:03:33,509 --> 01:03:36,112
♪ You have got to be
1361
01:03:36,145 --> 01:03:38,514
♪ Better than, better than
1362
01:03:38,548 --> 01:03:40,349
♪ Better than the rest
1363
01:03:40,383 --> 01:03:43,219
♪ There can only be one
1364
01:03:43,252 --> 01:03:47,190
♪ One, one, one champion
1365
01:03:47,223 --> 01:03:50,226
♪ There can only be one
1366
01:03:50,259 --> 01:03:53,229
♪ One, one, one champion
1367
01:03:53,262 --> 01:03:56,098
Three frames into round three,
and Gunnar is sitting perfect.
1368
01:03:56,132 --> 01:03:57,667
Meanwhile, Emily seems to have
1369
01:03:57,700 --> 01:04:00,169
lost her steam from round two
with two spares
1370
01:04:00,203 --> 01:04:01,504
and failing to close out a third.
1371
01:04:08,077 --> 01:04:11,047
How goes it, Em?
1372
01:04:11,080 --> 01:04:14,050
It's fine. You?
Ah, pretty good.
1373
01:04:14,083 --> 01:04:15,551
Uh, it's a little colder
than I'd like,
1374
01:04:15,585 --> 01:04:17,019
but that Minnesota for ya.
1375
01:04:17,053 --> 01:04:19,088
Ahem.
Yeah, yeah, I know.
1376
01:04:21,057 --> 01:04:22,358
Is there something you wanted?
1377
01:04:22,391 --> 01:04:24,060
Yeah, I, uh,
1378
01:04:24,093 --> 01:04:27,029
I just want to talk to you
about all this.
1379
01:04:27,063 --> 01:04:28,965
Yeah.
Look.
1380
01:04:28,998 --> 01:04:30,499
You're the best bowler
I've ever seen,
1381
01:04:30,533 --> 01:04:33,269
on and off the lanes.
1382
01:04:33,302 --> 01:04:36,105
Thanks.
No, I mean it, Em.
1383
01:04:36,138 --> 01:04:38,107
You can do this, all right?
1384
01:04:38,140 --> 01:04:40,610
You just need to remember
who you're doing it for.
1385
01:04:40,643 --> 01:04:42,612
Yeah.
1386
01:04:42,645 --> 01:04:44,213
Okay, yeah, Pops.
1387
01:04:44,247 --> 01:04:46,415
Yeah.
No.
1388
01:04:46,449 --> 01:04:48,117
You need to do this for you.
1389
01:04:48,150 --> 01:04:50,453
Your whole life,
all you do is give.
1390
01:04:50,486 --> 01:04:52,388
You wasted your time with Donna,
1391
01:04:52,421 --> 01:04:55,691
and god bless her heart,
she friggin' stinks.
1392
01:04:55,725 --> 01:04:58,527
So screw Gunnar and screw the
other bowlers.
1393
01:04:58,561 --> 01:05:00,196
This is for you,
1394
01:05:00,229 --> 01:05:02,398
because that's what dad would want.
1395
01:05:02,431 --> 01:05:04,567
Okay?
1396
01:05:04,600 --> 01:05:07,036
Yeah.
All right.
1397
01:05:07,069 --> 01:05:09,038
Go get him.
1398
01:05:09,071 --> 01:05:13,643
♪ If you want to be the best ♪
1399
01:05:13,676 --> 01:05:15,645
♪ Yeah!
1400
01:05:15,678 --> 01:05:18,180
♪ You have got to be
1401
01:05:18,214 --> 01:05:20,983
♪ Better than, better than
1402
01:05:21,017 --> 01:05:26,122
♪ Better than the rest
1403
01:05:26,155 --> 01:05:28,391
♪ There can only be one
1404
01:05:28,424 --> 01:05:30,526
♪ One, one
1405
01:05:30,559 --> 01:05:32,995
♪ One champion
1406
01:05:33,029 --> 01:05:35,364
♪ There can only be one
1407
01:05:35,398 --> 01:05:37,366
♪ One, one
1408
01:05:37,400 --> 01:05:39,368
♪ One champion
1409
01:05:39,402 --> 01:05:42,738
♪ There can only be one
1410
01:05:42,772 --> 01:05:44,373
♪ One, one
1411
01:05:44,407 --> 01:05:46,542
♪ One champion
1412
01:05:46,575 --> 01:05:49,078
♪ There can only be one
1413
01:05:49,111 --> 01:05:51,414
I have never seen anything
like this.
1414
01:05:51,447 --> 01:05:54,784
She is a woman on a mission.
Speaking of missions,
1415
01:05:54,817 --> 01:05:56,285
If you're on the way back
from the bathroom,
1416
01:05:56,319 --> 01:05:57,553
Stop at the concession stand
1417
01:05:57,586 --> 01:05:59,588
for the new Kosher Polish corn dogs.
1418
01:05:59,622 --> 01:06:01,190
They're delicious.
1419
01:06:01,223 --> 01:06:03,192
♪ One, one
1420
01:06:03,225 --> 01:06:05,294
♪ One champion
1421
01:06:05,328 --> 01:06:07,296
♪ There can only be one
1422
01:06:07,330 --> 01:06:09,298
Gunnar seems to be feeling
the pressure.
1423
01:06:09,332 --> 01:06:12,168
He seems to have lost focus.
1424
01:06:12,201 --> 01:06:14,170
Is that a thing that's important
in bowling? I imagine it is.
1425
01:06:14,203 --> 01:06:16,472
It most definitely is,
Johnny, yeah.
1426
01:06:19,275 --> 01:06:21,644
♪ There can only be one
1427
01:06:21,677 --> 01:06:23,446
♪ One, one
1428
01:06:23,479 --> 01:06:25,147
And another strike for Emily.
1429
01:06:25,181 --> 01:06:27,483
We are witnessing Roseau Bowl History.
1430
01:06:27,516 --> 01:06:28,818
That sounds more grandiose
1431
01:06:28,851 --> 01:06:32,121
than I assume it is in real life.
1432
01:06:32,154 --> 01:06:35,324
♪ There can only be one
1433
01:06:35,358 --> 01:06:37,426
♪ One, one, one champion
That is how you bowl!
1434
01:06:37,460 --> 01:06:39,662
That is how you bowl!
That is how you bowl!
1435
01:06:39,695 --> 01:06:41,297
She's unstoppable.
A slow start,
1436
01:06:41,330 --> 01:06:43,265
But has bowled perfect
since that third frame.
1437
01:06:43,299 --> 01:06:45,601
Well, there's only one little
box thing left
1438
01:06:45,634 --> 01:06:48,137
and their scores are pretty close,
is that fair to say?
1439
01:06:48,170 --> 01:06:50,139
Yes, Johnny,
they are all tied up.
1440
01:06:50,172 --> 01:06:51,674
That sounds really close.
1441
01:06:51,707 --> 01:06:54,243
Is it ever.
Gunnar will bowl first.
1442
01:06:56,112 --> 01:06:58,381
♪ One champion
1443
01:06:58,414 --> 01:07:01,083
♪ There can only be one
1444
01:07:01,117 --> 01:07:02,752
♪ One, one
1445
01:07:02,785 --> 01:07:05,087
♪ One champion
1446
01:07:05,121 --> 01:07:07,490
♪ There can only be one
1447
01:07:07,523 --> 01:07:09,492
♪ One, one
1448
01:07:09,525 --> 01:07:11,727
♪ One champion
1449
01:07:11,761 --> 01:07:16,232
♪ There can only be one, one, one ♪
1450
01:07:16,265 --> 01:07:18,667
♪ One champion
Ooh, that's gonna be tough to beat.
1451
01:07:18,701 --> 01:07:21,537
He does look disappointed though.
1452
01:07:21,570 --> 01:07:24,540
Probably wishes he'd hit all
the pins on that last one.
1453
01:07:24,573 --> 01:07:25,875
That's my best guess anyway.
1454
01:07:25,908 --> 01:07:27,743
Nothing escapes my brother Johnny.
1455
01:07:27,777 --> 01:07:29,445
Here comes Emily.
1456
01:07:29,478 --> 01:07:31,414
♪ One champion
1457
01:07:31,447 --> 01:07:34,417
♪ There can only be one
1458
01:07:34,450 --> 01:07:36,118
♪ One, one
1459
01:07:36,152 --> 01:07:38,287
♪ One champion
1460
01:07:38,320 --> 01:07:40,823
♪ There can only be one
1461
01:07:40,856 --> 01:07:42,892
♪ One, one
1462
01:07:42,925 --> 01:07:45,394
♪ One champion
1463
01:07:45,428 --> 01:07:47,730
You little beauty.
1464
01:07:47,763 --> 01:07:50,699
Check out Emily.
Hoo-hoo, wow!
1465
01:07:50,733 --> 01:07:52,234
One down, two to go.
1466
01:07:52,268 --> 01:07:53,836
♪ One, one
1467
01:07:53,869 --> 01:07:55,905
♪ One champion
1468
01:07:55,938 --> 01:07:59,208
♪ There can only be one
Whoa-ho-ho-ho!
1469
01:07:59,241 --> 01:08:00,676
I don't believe this.
1470
01:08:00,709 --> 01:08:02,812
♪ One champion
1471
01:08:02,845 --> 01:08:05,481
♪ There can only be one
1472
01:08:05,514 --> 01:08:07,483
♪ One, one, one champion
1473
01:08:07,516 --> 01:08:08,551
Are you having fun?
1474
01:08:10,853 --> 01:08:12,121
Yeah.
1475
01:08:13,856 --> 01:08:15,357
For dad.
All right, you got this.
1476
01:08:15,391 --> 01:08:19,862
♪ One champion
1477
01:08:35,911 --> 01:08:38,681
Yeah!
1478
01:08:38,714 --> 01:08:40,616
She has done it.
1479
01:08:40,649 --> 01:08:43,319
She has won the Open Bracket Championship
1480
01:08:43,352 --> 01:08:46,655
and redemption for her father,
my cousin.
1481
01:08:46,689 --> 01:08:48,457
Stop by the concession stand
to celebrate
1482
01:08:48,491 --> 01:08:51,760
with a licorice rope or an
ice cold fountain drink.
1483
01:08:51,794 --> 01:08:54,296
They're not on sale.
We just have plenty available.
1484
01:08:54,330 --> 01:08:57,733
And it is all over, I hope, anyway.
1485
01:08:57,766 --> 01:08:59,268
I've got some where to be.
1486
01:08:59,301 --> 01:09:01,704
♪ There can only be one
1487
01:09:01,737 --> 01:09:03,606
Yeah, Emily!
1488
01:09:07,877 --> 01:09:09,345
You did it.
1489
01:09:09,378 --> 01:09:12,515
Whoo! Yeah!
Whoo!
1490
01:09:12,548 --> 01:09:15,384
You friggin' cheated!
1491
01:09:15,417 --> 01:09:17,953
You cheated.
Everybody knows that.
1492
01:09:17,987 --> 01:09:21,857
I won that fair and square. Okay,
whatever, Gunnar. Have a nice day.
1493
01:09:21,891 --> 01:09:23,759
Nine out of ten times I catch
you cheating.
1494
01:09:23,792 --> 01:09:27,296
You're a friggin' cheater.
Celebration subs for everyone.
1495
01:09:27,329 --> 01:09:28,664
I love subs.
Whoo!
1496
01:09:28,697 --> 01:09:29,932
Whoo!
Strike!
1497
01:09:29,965 --> 01:09:35,804
♪ One, one, one champion
1498
01:09:42,978 --> 01:09:45,648
Oh, jeez,
Has it felt good.
1499
01:09:45,681 --> 01:09:47,383
The publicity from winning
the Roseau Bowl
1500
01:09:47,416 --> 01:09:49,385
Has been overwhelming.
1501
01:09:49,418 --> 01:09:52,888
I mean, I had nearly six strangers
send me congrats flowers.
1502
01:09:52,922 --> 01:09:55,424
So, yeah, pretty nuts.
1503
01:09:55,457 --> 01:09:58,794
And, oh, jeez. It didn't stop
there either, no Siree.
1504
01:09:58,827 --> 01:10:02,264
My video blog has taken off
like nobody's business.
1505
01:10:02,298 --> 01:10:03,599
It's paying the bill now, you know?
1506
01:10:03,632 --> 01:10:06,602
So I got to quit my teaching job.
1507
01:10:06,635 --> 01:10:08,370
And now I have so much free
time to train Donna
1508
01:10:08,404 --> 01:10:11,440
to win next year's Roseau Bowl.
1509
01:10:11,473 --> 01:10:14,443
And Bjorn has been training me
1510
01:10:14,476 --> 01:10:17,479
to win this year's National Championship.
1511
01:10:17,513 --> 01:10:20,816
Bomb dropped.
1512
01:10:20,849 --> 01:10:22,751
Six months, huh?
1513
01:10:22,785 --> 01:10:25,621
Seems longer behind bars.
1514
01:10:25,654 --> 01:10:27,957
You went to jail?
1515
01:10:27,990 --> 01:10:31,794
Yeah, the night of the tournament,
I got drunk.
1516
01:10:31,827 --> 01:10:33,662
I don't mean like a couple
drinks too many
1517
01:10:33,696 --> 01:10:35,664
I shouldn't drive my truck
home drunk.
1518
01:10:35,698 --> 01:10:36,999
I mean, like,
1519
01:10:37,032 --> 01:10:39,368
blacked out, wake up outside
1520
01:10:39,401 --> 01:10:41,036
with a goat chained around
your leg
1521
01:10:41,070 --> 01:10:44,039
and a toilet cake in your
shirt pocket kinda drunk.
1522
01:10:44,073 --> 01:10:46,575
In my case, instead of
waking up outside,
1523
01:10:46,609 --> 01:10:48,577
I woke up in the drunk tank.
1524
01:10:48,611 --> 01:10:51,447
And instead of a toilet cake
in my shirt pocket,
1525
01:10:51,480 --> 01:10:53,582
I just didn't have any pants on.
1526
01:10:53,616 --> 01:10:56,452
And, uh, the goat?
1527
01:10:56,485 --> 01:10:58,587
No, that happened.
1528
01:10:58,621 --> 01:11:01,924
Anywho, I always heard
that when you're in jail
1529
01:11:01,957 --> 01:11:04,326
you gotta beat up the biggest
guy in there
1530
01:11:04,360 --> 01:11:07,563
so you don't become a prison (bleep).
1531
01:11:07,596 --> 01:11:10,733
I coulda sworn she was a guy,
1532
01:11:10,766 --> 01:11:14,069
You know, coming from
a costume party or something.
1533
01:11:14,103 --> 01:11:17,940
Apparently, that police uniform
was very real,
1534
01:11:17,973 --> 01:11:22,111
and so was her night stick,
her pepper spray, her taser,
1535
01:11:22,144 --> 01:11:23,879
her K-9 unit.
1536
01:11:26,515 --> 01:11:27,983
After I healed up,
1537
01:11:28,017 --> 01:11:30,653
I got five months for assault
on an officer.
1538
01:11:30,686 --> 01:11:32,354
Which is kinda bull (bleep),
1539
01:11:32,388 --> 01:11:34,757
because even though
I threw the first punch,
1540
01:11:34,790 --> 01:11:36,659
it didn't even land.
1541
01:11:36,692 --> 01:11:38,794
Oh, boy, were we excited for
Emily to win.
1542
01:11:38,827 --> 01:11:41,597
And, uh, we've been keeping
pretty busy since then, too.
1543
01:11:41,630 --> 01:11:46,502
I found a bird outside,
and it was almost dead.
1544
01:11:46,535 --> 01:11:47,803
I nursed it back to health.
1545
01:11:47,836 --> 01:11:49,672
Kept it in the house for a week.
1546
01:11:49,705 --> 01:11:51,507
Yep.
And then I let it go.
1547
01:11:51,540 --> 01:11:53,375
And that's what you gotta do.
you gotta let them fly.
1548
01:11:53,409 --> 01:11:54,977
Yeah, yeah.
Not gonna keep him for a pet,
1549
01:11:55,010 --> 01:11:56,612
but I nursed it back to health.
1550
01:11:56,645 --> 01:11:58,147
You did, and then you shooed
it out with a broom.
1551
01:11:58,180 --> 01:12:00,516
Yeah, and then I shooed.
I said, "Shoo! Shoo!
1552
01:12:00,549 --> 01:12:02,584
Go on now, go!"
Didn't want to leave
1553
01:12:02,618 --> 01:12:04,953
'Cause it loved her so much.
Yeah. See that now?
1554
01:12:04,987 --> 01:12:06,722
They'll bond with me.
Absolutely.
1555
01:12:06,755 --> 01:12:09,124
She used that tough love,
got herself a broom,
1556
01:12:09,158 --> 01:12:10,559
shooed that bird outta the house.
1557
01:12:10,592 --> 01:12:12,161
You gotta push the bird outta
the nest.
1558
01:12:12,194 --> 01:12:13,962
That's what they say.
Absolutely.
1559
01:12:13,996 --> 01:12:16,465
So we're thinking about
adopting, you know?
1560
01:12:16,498 --> 01:12:19,802
You guys were clearly
in for a pretty big treat
1561
01:12:19,835 --> 01:12:21,403
when you got to hear me
1562
01:12:21,437 --> 01:12:26,408
sing the USA Anthem at the
bowling alley.
1563
01:12:26,442 --> 01:12:30,813
But, like, sure,
there were some freakin' jerks
1564
01:12:30,846 --> 01:12:34,416
just like saying stupid crap
on YouTube.
1565
01:12:34,450 --> 01:12:36,418
Like, whatever.
1566
01:12:36,452 --> 01:12:38,420
I'm just gonna keep living fancy,
1567
01:12:38,454 --> 01:12:44,193
'cause I got some real hype
behind me from that, too.
1568
01:12:44,226 --> 01:12:49,064
I got to sing the USA Anthem
at the St. Paul Saints game.
1569
01:12:49,098 --> 01:12:52,434
So would a freakin' cheeseknob
get to do that,
1570
01:12:52,468 --> 01:12:54,536
Mister @CMCHFX?
1571
01:12:56,972 --> 01:12:59,108
Probably not.
1572
01:12:59,141 --> 01:13:01,810
Um, if you guys wanted,
1573
01:13:01,844 --> 01:13:03,812
I could probably get you a tape
1574
01:13:03,846 --> 01:13:06,215
of me doing that singing thing
1575
01:13:06,248 --> 01:13:08,751
for you to use inside your movie.
1576
01:13:08,784 --> 01:13:10,185
Nah, we're good.
1577
01:13:14,123 --> 01:13:15,624
On a bright note,
1578
01:13:15,657 --> 01:13:17,960
I became very spiritual in prison.
1579
01:13:17,993 --> 01:13:20,696
I realized that I had a lot
of anger issues
1580
01:13:20,729 --> 01:13:22,097
that I needed to work on,
1581
01:13:22,131 --> 01:13:25,234
and the word of Buddha
really spoke to me.
1582
01:13:25,267 --> 01:13:26,635
It's helping me become
a better person
1583
01:13:26,668 --> 01:13:29,071
on and off the lanes.
1584
01:13:29,104 --> 01:13:31,774
Gunney, tater tot hot dish is ready.
1585
01:13:31,807 --> 01:13:33,475
Come get supper.
1586
01:13:33,509 --> 01:13:36,845
I told you!
I wanted lutefisk and lefse.
1587
01:13:36,879 --> 01:13:39,014
How hard can it (bleep) be
1588
01:13:39,047 --> 01:13:41,550
to open up a (bleep) can of lutefisk
1589
01:13:41,583 --> 01:13:43,685
and wrap up some (bleep) lefse?
1590
01:13:47,856 --> 01:13:49,825
That woman.
1591
01:13:49,858 --> 01:13:52,694
This is what I deal with.
1592
01:13:52,728 --> 01:13:54,930
This is my life.
1593
01:13:54,963 --> 01:13:57,933
Most of my videos are getting
hundreds of thousands of views.
1594
01:13:57,966 --> 01:14:01,103
Some are even up in the millions.
1595
01:14:01,136 --> 01:14:02,871
Unfortunately, the same old video
1596
01:14:02,905 --> 01:14:05,507
still holds my personal record.
1597
01:14:05,541 --> 01:14:10,946
Yeah, the booby slip clip
took off like wildfire.
1598
01:14:10,979 --> 01:14:14,249
Okay, I want you to get a
real good look in here, okay?
1599
01:14:14,283 --> 01:14:16,885
See how I'm holding nothing
back here?
1600
01:14:16,919 --> 01:14:20,722
That is how you...
1601
01:14:20,756 --> 01:14:22,891
Follow through with style.
1602
01:14:22,925 --> 01:14:24,960
I mean, sure like
someone might be walking by
1603
01:14:24,993 --> 01:14:26,595
and they're gonna see and be like,
1604
01:14:26,628 --> 01:14:28,931
"What the friggin' heck is
she doing?"
1605
01:14:28,964 --> 01:14:31,934
And I want you to look them
in the eye and you say,
1606
01:14:31,967 --> 01:14:33,836
"I'm showing the world what I got."
1607
01:14:33,869 --> 01:14:38,006
And what I got is a real...
1608
01:14:38,040 --> 01:14:39,208
Juicy follow-through."
1609
01:14:41,276 --> 01:14:44,746
Show the world what you got.
Don't hold nothing back.
1610
01:14:44,780 --> 01:14:49,585
I'm Emily Baardsson
and this is how I roll.
1611
01:14:49,618 --> 01:14:51,987
Whoo. Freakin' jeez.
1612
01:14:52,020 --> 01:14:54,923
This thing is heavy.
1613
01:14:54,957 --> 01:14:56,558
Friggin' lip's wet.
1614
01:15:10,973 --> 01:15:13,942
Whoo! I am bowling like
a real doofus out there today.
1615
01:15:13,976 --> 01:15:16,278
Oh, come on, sis. You just
need to tweak things a bit.
1616
01:15:16,311 --> 01:15:19,214
I know, I'm just doing a little
self-defecating humor.
1617
01:15:19,248 --> 01:15:21,216
Did you say "Self-defecating"?
1618
01:15:21,250 --> 01:15:23,218
Yeah. You know, it's like when
you're making jokes,
1619
01:15:23,252 --> 01:15:25,020
but you're also kind of
crappin' on yourself.
1620
01:15:25,053 --> 01:15:26,788
Oh, nice.
1621
01:15:29,658 --> 01:15:31,293
I knew I needed to be a bowler
1622
01:15:31,326 --> 01:15:32,995
when me and my best friend Chambers
1623
01:15:33,028 --> 01:15:34,630
were throwing rocks at each other
1624
01:15:34,663 --> 01:15:36,031
and I threw this rock
1625
01:15:36,064 --> 01:15:37,766
and it hit him right in the forehead.
1626
01:15:37,799 --> 01:15:39,368
He was like really mad.
1627
01:15:39,401 --> 01:15:41,236
So I was like running away
from him, but he caught me
1628
01:15:41,270 --> 01:15:43,772
and he tripped me, like,
really hard,
1629
01:15:43,805 --> 01:15:47,075
and I slammed my head into
the pavement three times.
1630
01:15:47,109 --> 01:15:49,077
And that's when I knew.
1631
01:15:49,111 --> 01:15:51,280
I get up from that, and I knew
I needed to be a bowler.
1632
01:15:53,248 --> 01:15:55,217
It's not terrible.
She could still pick up a spare.
1633
01:15:55,250 --> 01:15:59,588
Jeez Louise!
You're a monster.
1634
01:16:01,790 --> 01:16:04,092
I like taking pictures of people
who have kitchen tables,
1635
01:16:04,126 --> 01:16:05,627
But they have, like,
different chairs
1636
01:16:05,661 --> 01:16:07,296
that didn't come with the table.
1637
01:16:07,329 --> 01:16:09,064
Yeah, he finds it real interesting.
1638
01:16:09,097 --> 01:16:11,099
Yeah, so whenever we go to
some friend's house
1639
01:16:11,133 --> 01:16:12,868
and they have a kitchen table,
1640
01:16:12,901 --> 01:16:15,103
but it's clear those chairs
aren't matching..
1641
01:16:15,137 --> 01:16:16,705
Where'd you get them?
Where'd you get those?
1642
01:16:16,738 --> 01:16:19,241
What happened to the regular chairs?
1643
01:16:19,274 --> 01:16:21,109
Did they break and then you couldn't
get 'em fixed or something?
1644
01:16:21,143 --> 01:16:23,111
And there's usually a heck of
a story there,
1645
01:16:23,145 --> 01:16:25,080
and I'll write that story down
and I'll put it in the book.
1646
01:16:25,113 --> 01:16:26,348
Right now it's just like..
1647
01:16:26,381 --> 01:16:28,216
It was an empty photo album.
1648
01:16:28,250 --> 01:16:29,785
I'm just filling up a photo album,
1649
01:16:29,818 --> 01:16:31,053
then I just kinda write
little notes
1650
01:16:31,086 --> 01:16:33,055
about where the chairs came from.
1651
01:16:33,088 --> 01:16:35,057
So it's not like a real book
or nothing.
1652
01:16:35,090 --> 01:16:37,159
How full is the photo album
at this point?
1653
01:16:37,192 --> 01:16:38,660
Six or seven tables.
1654
01:16:38,694 --> 01:16:40,429
Six or seven tables,
a bunch of chairs.
1655
01:16:40,462 --> 01:16:41,930
So it's getting there.
1656
01:16:44,132 --> 01:16:45,434
There's a doctor they have on
the air
1657
01:16:45,467 --> 01:16:48,437
Saturday mornings on AM 630.
1658
01:16:48,470 --> 01:16:50,305
Ask him if it's normal for people
1659
01:16:50,339 --> 01:16:53,308
to only have sex in the dark.
1660
01:16:53,342 --> 01:16:55,811
I don't think he's that kind
of doctor.
1661
01:16:55,844 --> 01:16:57,813
They're all that kind of doctor.
1662
01:16:57,846 --> 01:17:01,249
It's human nature, Jeff.
1663
01:17:01,283 --> 01:17:03,452
I have needs, you know?
1664
01:17:03,485 --> 01:17:05,153
You need to have the lights on?
1665
01:17:08,056 --> 01:17:10,359
Why don't you stop over
at the concession stand,
1666
01:17:10,392 --> 01:17:12,361
get a licorice rope, corn dogs,
1667
01:17:12,394 --> 01:17:14,363
or an ice cold fountain drink.
We've got the pretzels,
1668
01:17:14,396 --> 01:17:16,732
open-face sandwiches,
and personal pizzas.
1669
01:17:16,765 --> 01:17:18,333
Feel free to grab whatever
you like.
1670
01:17:18,367 --> 01:17:19,935
We really stocked up this year.
1671
01:17:19,968 --> 01:17:21,336
They are not on sale or free,
1672
01:17:21,370 --> 01:17:23,071
we just have plenty available.
1673
01:17:24,906 --> 01:17:27,843
Fair dinkum!
That was an absolute pearl.
1674
01:17:27,876 --> 01:17:29,845
That was a rip snorter.
1675
01:17:29,878 --> 01:17:33,415
That was absolutely bonzo.
That was a belter.
1676
01:17:33,448 --> 01:17:37,786
You little beauty!
Check out Emily.
1677
01:17:37,819 --> 01:17:41,023
Wow! An absolute ball tearer
from Emily.
1678
01:17:43,258 --> 01:17:44,726
Don't say anything to Emily,
1679
01:17:44,760 --> 01:17:47,462
But I'd eat that booty like groceries.
1680
01:17:47,496 --> 01:17:50,032
Jeez Louise,
real inappropriate, Nicholas.
1681
01:17:52,401 --> 01:17:54,136
I think she heard me.
1682
01:17:59,374 --> 01:18:00,876
Hey, Gary.
Hey, Gunnar.
1683
01:18:00,909 --> 01:18:02,444
I'll be bowling for free today, right?
1684
01:18:02,477 --> 01:18:05,213
Okay, um, my name's, uh..
1685
01:18:05,247 --> 01:18:06,815
I'm Bar.. I'm Bar..
1686
01:18:08,550 --> 01:18:12,754
Did you guys, uh, see that?
1687
01:18:12,788 --> 01:18:17,159
We're just, like.. We're just
hanging out for a minute or whatever.
1688
01:18:17,192 --> 01:18:18,260
It's pretty cool.
1689
01:18:23,432 --> 01:18:27,402
♪ Let me in
1690
01:18:27,436 --> 01:18:31,273
♪ I could fill you up
1691
01:18:31,306 --> 01:18:36,244
♪ We could ride all night
1692
01:18:36,278 --> 01:18:40,182
♪ Get to feeling right
1693
01:18:40,215 --> 01:18:44,352
♪ Oh-oh
1694
01:18:44,386 --> 01:18:48,857
♪ Oh-oh
1695
01:18:48,890 --> 01:18:51,226
♪ Yeah
1696
01:18:51,259 --> 01:18:53,428
♪ Whoo!
124653
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