Original subtitles

You've had a lot to drink already, and you don't wanna let yourself duck out of it

by being too drunk to move, not this time.

B'jeez, Margie, you know I didn't mean it.

It's that lousy drummer ridin' me that's got my goat.

I know, Harry, I know.

Hey, come on. Look at your cake.

You haven't even noticed it yet, huh? Ain't it grand? Look.

Yeah. Say, that's pretty.

I ain't ever had a cake since bessie...

- Six candles, eh? - Mm-hmm.

- Each for ten years, huh? - Hickey got it.

Well, it was thoughtful of him. He means well, I guess.

- Aw, the hell with this cake! - Oh, wait, Harry!

You ain't seen the presents from me and Margie and Cora and Chuck and rocky.

And there's a watch all engraved with your name and the date from hickey.

Well, the hell with... B'jeez, he can keep it!

Hey.

He ain't even gonna look at the presents.

Hey... hey, come on, everybody. This is all wrong!

If somebody don't put some life in this party, I'm gonna go nuts!

Hey, Cora, why don't you bang on that box!

Uh, uh, play somethin' for Harry, huh?

You don't have to stop just 'cause he kidded ya.

No, you was playin' it fine, Cora.

It was bessie's favorite tune.

She was always singin' it.

I-it brings her back. I wish...

Yes, we've all heard you tell us that you thought the world of her, governor.

So I did, b'jeez.

Everyone knows I did. And, b'jeez, if you say I didn't...

Now, governor, I didn't say anything.

You're the only one that knows the truth about that.

Marjorie's favorite song was "loch lomond."

Oh, she was beautiful.

She had a beautiful voice and she played the piano beautifully.

You were lucky, Harry, bessie died.

But there are more bitter sorrows

than losing the woman one loves by the hand of death.

You needn't go on, Jimmy.

We've all heard the story about how you came back to Cape Town

and found her in the hay with a staff officer.

We know you'd like to believe that's what started you on booze and ruined your life.

I-I'm talking to Harry.

Will you kindly keep out of my...

My life is not ruined!

But I'll bet when you admit the truth to yourself,

you'll confess that you were pretty sick of her hating you for getting drunk.

I'll bet you were really damned relieved when she gave you such a good excuse.

- I know how it is, Jimmy. See, I... - Ha!

So that's what happened, is it?

Your iceman joke finally came home to roost, did it?

Maybe you should have remembered there's truth

in the old superstition that you'd better look out what you call,

because in the end it comes to you.

Oh, is that a fact, Larry?

Well, well.

Then you'd better be careful how you keep callin' for the old big sleep.

This one?

Well, what are we waiting for, boys and girls? Let's get this party rolling.

Chuck! Rocky! Bring on the big surprise!

Governor, you sit over here at the head of the table. Come on.

Well, sit down, girls. Sit down.

And I'll sit here at the foot.

Real champagne, bums! Cheer up!

What is this, a funeral?

Mixing champagne with Harry's red-eye'll knock you paralyzed.

Ain't you never satisfied?

Order! Order!

Ladies and gents...

Yes, I am gonna drink with you this time, Larry,

to prove that I'm not teetotal

because the booze'll make me spill my secrets, as you think.

I don't need the booze anymore, or anything else.

I just wanna be sociable

and propose a toast in honor of our old friend Harry,

and drink it with you.

Wake up our demon bomb-tosser, rocky.

We don't want any corpses at this feast.

Hey, Hugo. Come up for air.

Don't you see the champagne?

We will eat birthday cake

and drink champagne beneath the Willow trees!

This wine is unfit to drink!

It has not properly been iced.

Always the high-toned swell at heart, eh, Hugo?

Well, god help us poor bums if you ever got to telling us where to get off.

You'd have been drinking our blood beneath those Willow trees.

Here's the toast, ladies and gents.

Here's to Harry hope,

who's been a friend in need to every one of us.

And here's to the old governor,

the best sport and the kindest, biggest-hearted guy in the world.

Come on, everybody. To Harry.

Bottoms up.

- To Harry! - To Harry!

- To you, boss. - Happy birthday.

Thanks, all of you.

Hickey, you old son of a bitch.

That's white of ya.

- I know you meant it too. - Of course I meant it, Harry, old friend.

And I mean it when I say that I hope this will be the biggest day in your life

and in the lives of everyone here,

and the beginning of a new life of peace and contentment.

And here's to that, Harry.

Oh, forget the bughouse line of bull for a minute, can't ya?

You're right, rocky. I am talking too much. It's Harry we want to hear from.

Speech! Speech! Speech!

B'Jesus, I'm... I'm no good on speeches.

All I can say is, thanks to everybody again

for remembering me on my birthday.

Only don't think because I'm 60

I'll be a bigger damned fool easy Mark than ever.

Like hickey says, it's gonna be a new day.

This dump has got to be run like other dumps

so I can make some money and not just split even.

I'm sick of bein' played for a sucker.

I know you're all laughin' at me now behind my back,

thinkin' to yourselves, why, the...

Why, the old lyin', pipe-dreamin' faker.

We've heard his bull about takin' a walk around the ward for years.

He'll never make it.

He's scared. He's yellow.

He ain't got the guts.

He's scared he'll find out...

But I'll show you, b'jeez.

And I'll show you too, you son of a bitch of a fryin' pan-peddlin' bastard.

That's the stuff, Harry!

Of course you'll try to show me. That's what I want you to do.

Well, Jesus,

all of you, forgive me.

I lost my temper.

I ain't feelin' well.

I got a hell of a grouch on.

You're as welcome as the flowers in may.

Oh, sure, boss.

You're always aces with us, see.

Uh, listen, everybody.

I know you're sick of my gabbin', but, uh, I think I owe it to you

to do a little explaining and apologize

for some of the rough stuff I've had to pull on you.

I had to make you help each other with me.

I saw that I couldn't do what I had to do alone, not in the time at my disposal.

I knew when I came here I wouldn't be able to stay long.

I'm slated to leave on a trip.

Now, I know every one of you, inside and out, by heart.

I may have been drunk when I been here before,

but old hickey could never be so drunk

that he couldn't have to see through everybody.

Everybody, that is, except himself.

And finally he had to see through himself too.

I swear I would've never acted this way

if I didn't absolutely believe it'd be worthwhile to you in the end.

When you're rid of the guilt that makes you lie to yourselves

that you're something you're not

and the remorse that nags at you and makes you hide behind lousy pipe dreams,

you won't give a damn what you are anymore.

I wouldn't say this unless I knew.

Brothers and sisters, this peace is real. It is a fact.

I know because I've got it here and now, right in front of you.

Well, you can see the difference in me. You remember how I used to be.

Even when I had two quarts of rotgut under my belt

and joked and sang "sweet Adeline,”

I still felt like a guilty skunk.

But you can see that I don't give a damn about anything anymore.

And I promise you by the time this day is over,

I'll have every one of you feeling the same way.

I guess that's about all from me for the present, boys and girls.

So let's get on with the party.

Wait.

I think it would help us poor, pipe-dreaming sinners

along the sawdust trail of salvation...

If you told us now what it was happened

that converted you to this great peace you've found.

I notice you didn't say anything when I asked you about the iceman.

Did this great revelation of the evil habit of dreaming about tomorrow

come to you after you found out your wife was sick of you?

B'jeez, you've... you've hit it, Larry.

I've noticed he hasn't shown her picture around this time.

He hasn't got it. The iceman took it away from him!

Look at him. Can you blame her?

She must be hard up to fall for an iceman.

Imagine a sap like that advising me and Chuck to get married.

Yeah, he done so good with it.

At least I can say that Marjorie chose an officer and a gentleman.

Come to look at you, hickey, old chum,

you're sprouting horns like a bloody antelope.

Bigger, by god. Like a water buffalo.

♪ "Oh, come up," she cried ♪

♪ my iceman lad and you and I'll agree ♪

♪ and I'll show you the prettiest... ♪

♪ That ever you did ever see ♪

well, I'm glad to see you getting in good spirits for Harry's party,

even if the joke is on me.

I admit I always asked for it in the old days

by pulling the iceman gag, so, uh, laugh all you like.

Well, I guess this forces my hand,

you bringing up the subject of Evelyn.

I had wanted to wait till the party was over,

but, uh, you're getting the wrong idea about poor Evelyn,

and I've gotta stop that.

I'm sorry to tell you that my dearly beloved wife is dead.

B'god.

I felt he had the touch of death on him.

Oh, forgive me, hickey.

I'd like to cut my dirty tongue out.

- Sorry. - Sorry. Apologies.

Oh, now, look, everybody.

You mustn't let this be a wet blanket on Harry's birthday party.

You're still getting me all wrong. There's no reason.

You see, I don't feel any grief.

I've gotta feel glad, for her sake,

because she's at peace.

She's rid of me at last.

You can imagine what it's like being married

to a no-good, drunken cheater like me.

And there was no way out of it for her

because she loved me.

Should I feel sad?

She wouldn't want me to feel sad.

Why, all that Evelyn ever wanted out of life was to make me happy.

Ah, nothin' now till the noon rush from the market.

If I ain't a sap to let Chuck kid me into workin' his time

so's he can take the morning off.

But I got sick of arguin'.

I says, "all right, get married. What's it to me?"

Some party last night, huh?

It was jinxed from the start,

but his telling about his wife croakin' put the ko on it.

Yes, the birthday feast turned out to be a wake.

Him promising he'd cut out that bughouse bull about peace,

and then he went on talkin' and talkin' like he couldn't stop.

And the gang sneakin' upstairs,

leaving free booze and eats like they was poison.

He's been hoppin' from room to room all night.

He's got his reform wave going strong this morning.

Did you notice him drag Jimmy out the first thing

to get his laundry and his clothes pressed

so he wouldn't have no excuse?

And he give Willie the dough to buy his stuff back from solly's.

And all the rest have been brushin' and shavin' themselves with the shakes.

He didn't come to my room.

Afraid I might ask him a few questions.

Yeah, I'd say you were scared of him.

- You'd lie then. - Don't let him kid you, rocky.

He had his door locked. I couldn't get in either.

Yeah. Who do you think you're kidding, Larry?

Like he says, if you was so anxious to croak,

why wouldn't you hop off your fire escape long ago?

Because it'd be a coward's quitting, that's why.

He's all quitter, rocky.

He's a yellow old faker.

You lying punk.

Yeah, keep out of this, you.

Shall I give him the bum's rush, Larry?

You don't want him around, nobody else don't.

Aw, let him stay. I don't mind. He's nothing to me.

You're right.

I have nowhere I can go now.

You're the only one in the world I can turn to.

Aw, you're a soft old sap, Larry.

He's a no-good louse like hickey.

He don't belong.

Yeah, I'm all in. Not a wink of sleep.

Larry, I'm sorry for riding you,

but you get my goat when you act as if you didn't care a damn what happened to me.

And you keep your door locked so I can't talk to you.

But that was to keep hickey out, wasn't it?

I don't blame you. I'm getting more and more to hate him.

More and more scared of him.

Especially since he told us about his wife being dead.

It's that queer feeling he gives me that I'm mixed up with him in some way.

I don't know why, but it started me thinking about mother.

As if she was dead.

I suppose she might as well be.

It must kill her when she thinks of me.

I know she doesn't want to, but she can't help it.

After all, I'm her only kid.

She used to spoil me and made a pet of me.

Every once in a great while...

When she remembered me...

As if she was trying to make up for something,

as if she was... feeling guilty.

So I guess she must have loved me a little.

Even if she never let it interfere with her freedom.

You know, Larry...

I once had a sneaking suspicion that if the truth were known,

you were my father.

Damn fool.

Who put that insane idea in your head?

Anyone in the coast crowd could tell

I never laid eyes on your mother till after you were born.

Well, now, I'd hardly ask them, would I?

I know you're right though, 'cause I asked her.

She brought me up to be frank and ask her anything.

I was talking about how she must feel now about me.

My getting through with the movement, she'll never forgive me for that.

It must be the final knockout

if she knows that I was the one who sold out the movement.

Shut up, damn you. Shut up. It'll kill her.

But, Larry...

I never thought that they would have caught her.

You've gotta believe what the only reason was.

I'll admit, what I told you last night, that was a lie.

All that bunk about feeling patriotic and my duty to my country.

But here's the true reason, the only reason, Larry.

See, I got stuck on this whore, and I wanted dough.

That's the only reason. That's all I did it for. Just the money, honest!

Shut up! What the hell is it to me?

- What's comin' off here? - Nothing.

This young punk is talking my ear off. He's a worse pest than hickey.

Oh, yeah. Hickey.

Say, listen.

What questions? What questions?

Well, you notice he didn't tell us what his wife died of.

Oh, lay off of that. The poor guy.

What are you getting at anyway?

- You don't think it's just a gag of his? - No. No, I don't.

Damn sure he brought death here with him.

I can smell the cold touch of it upon him.

Aw, bunk.

You got croakin' on the brain, old cemetery.

Say, do you mean you think she committed suicide

on account of his cheatin' or somethin'?

It wouldn't surprise me.

But that's crazy.

Jeez, if she'd done that, he wouldn't tell us he was glad about it, would he?

You know her better than that, Larry. You know she'd never commit suicide.

- She's like you. She'll hang onto life... - What about you?

B'god, if you had any guts or decency...

I'd take that hop off the fire escape you're too yellow to take.

- No. I'm done judging. - Yeah, I suppose you'd like that.

What the hell's all this about?

What do you know about hickey's wife?

- How do you know she didn't... - He doesn't.

Hickey's addled the little brains he's got.

Shove him back to his table, rocky. I'm sick of him.

You heard Larry, so move, quick.

Gee, Larry,

that's a hell of a way to treat me after I've trusted you,

when I need your help.

Jeez.

If she committed suicide,

you gotta feel sorry for hickey, huh?

You can understand how he'd go bughouse

and not be responsible for all the crazy stunts he's stagin' here.

But how can you be sorry for him when he says he's glad she croaked?

Aw, nuts!

You don't get nowhere trying to figure his game.

But I know this.

He better lay off of me and my stable.

Oh, jeez, Larry.

What a night them two pigs give me.

When the party went dead,

they pinched a couple of bottles and brung it up to their room.

I don't get a wink of sleep, see?

Just as I'd dropped off on that chair there,

they come down looking for trouble.

Or else they raise hell upstairs, laughin' and singin',

so that I get scared they'd get the joint pinched

and go up to tell 'em to can the noise.

And every time they crawl my frame with the same old argument.

They'd say, "so you agree with hickey, do you, you dirty little Guinea?

So we're whores, are we?

Well, we agree with hickey about you, see.

You're nothin' but a lousy pimp!"

Then I'd slap them.

But it don't do no good.

They keep at it over and over.

Jeez, I get the earache just thinkin' of it.

"Listen," they'd say,

"if we're whores, we got a right to have a regular pimp

and not stand for no punk imitation.

We're sick of wearing out our dogs

poundin' the sidewalks for a double-crossin' bartender,

when all the thanks we get is he looks down on us.

Don't expect us to work tonight 'cause we won't, see,

not if the streets were blocked with sailors.

We're goin' on strike."

Whores goin' on strike. Can you tie that?

They'd say, "we're takin' a holiday.

We're gonna beat it to coney island and shoot the chutes,

and maybe we'll come back and maybe we won't.

And you can go to hell."

So they put on their lids and beat it.

The both of them stinko.

Hey, rocky. Cora wants a Sherry flip for her nerves.

Sherry flip! Christ, she don't need nothin' for her nerve.

What's she think this is, the Waldorf?

Yeah, I told her, what would we use for Sherry?

And there wasn't no egg unless she laid one.

She says, "is there a law you can't go out and buy the makings, you big tramp?"

Aw, the hell with her. She'll drink booze or nothin'.

Oh, jeez.

A guy oughta give his bride anything she wants on her wedding day, I should think.

Ha! Pipe the bridegroom, Larry.

- All dolled up for the killin'. - Shut up.

Ah, one week on that farm in Jersey.

That's what I'll give ya.

Then you'll come running here some night yelling for a shot of booze

because the crickets is after you.

Oh, jeez, Chuck.

That louse hickey certainly made a prize couple of suckers outta youse.

I'd like to give him one sock in the puss.

Just one.

Can that. What's he got to do with it?

Anyway, we said we was gonna, so we're gonna, see.

Don't give me no argument.

If only Cora'd cut out the beefin'.

She don't give me a minute's rest all night.

It's the same old stuff over and over.

Do I really wanna marry her?

I said, "sure, baby. Why not?"

"Yeah," she says, "but after a week, you'll be thinkin' what a sap you was.

You'll make that an excuse to go off on a periodical,

and I'll be tied for life to a no-good soak,

and the first thing I know, you'll have me out hustlin' again.

Your own wifel"

and she bust out cryin', and I'd get sore.

"You're a liar," I tells her.

"I ain't never taken your dough except when I was drunk and not workin'."

"Yeah?" she says, "and how long will you stay sober now?

Don't think you can kid me with that water-wagon bull.

I've heard it too often."

That'd make me sore and I'd say, "don't call me a liar.

But I wish I was drunk right now

because if I was, you wouldn't be keeping me awake all night, beefin'.

You open your yap, I'd knock the stuffings out of you!"

Then she'd yell, "that's a sweet way to talk to the girl you're gonna marry."

Jeez, she's got me hanging on the ropes.

Jeez, would I like to get a quart of that redeye under my belt.

Well, why the hell don't you?

Sure, you'd like that, wouldn't you?

I'm wise to you.

You don't want to see me get married and settle down like a regular guy.

You'd like me to stay paralyzed all the time, so's I'd be like you, a lousy pimp!

Listen, I don't take that even from you, see!

Yeah? You wanna make something of it? Don't make me laugh!

I could lick ten of youse with one mitt!

Not with lead in your belly, you won't!

Hey, rocky and Chuck! Cut it out!

Don't let that hickey make you crazy.

- Keep outta our business! - Stay where you belong, you dirty nigger!

You white sons of bitches! I'll rip your guts out!

That's it! Murder each other, you damned loons, with hickey's blessing!

Didn't I tell you he'd brought death with him?

All right, you. Let go of that shiv.

And I'll put this gat away.

Hello, little people!

Never mind!

Soon you will eat hot dogs

beneath the Willow trees

and drink free wine.

The champagne was not properly iced.

Goddamned liar hickey!

Does that prove I want to be aristocrat?

I love only the proletariat.

I will lead them.

I will be like a god to them!

They will be my slaves!

I'm very drunk, no, Larry?

I talk foolishness.

I'm so drunk, Larry, old friend, am I not? I don't know what I say.

I've never seen you so paralyzed.

Lay your head on the table and sleep it off.

Yeah.

I should sleep.

I'm too crazy drunk.

You're right, Larry.

Bad luck come in the door the day hickey come.

I'm an old gambling man,

and I knows bad luck when I feels it.

But it's white man's bad luck.

He can't jinx me.

The bread's cut, and I done finished my job.

Now do I get the drink I earned?

Here's the key to my room.

I ain't coming back!

I'm going to my own folks where I belong.

I'm sick and tired of messing around with white men.

What the hell!

I'm only saving you the trouble, white boy!

Now you don't have to break it soon as my back's turned,

so's no white man can kick about drinkin' from the same glass.

I'm tired of loafin' around with a lot of bums.

I'm a gambling man.

I'm gonna get in a big crap game and win me a big bankroll.

Then I gets the okay to open up my own gambling house for colored men.

And then maybe I comes back here sometimes

to see the bums.

And maybe I'll throws a $20 bill down on the bar

and says, "drink it up”

and listen when they all pat me on the back

and say, "Joe, you sure is white."

But I'll say, "no, I'm black, and my dough is black man's dough,

and you's proud to drink with me or you don't get no drink!"

Or maybe I just says, "you can all go to hell.

I don't lower myself drinkin' with no white trash."

And that ain't no pipe dream.

I'll get the money for my stake today, somewhere, somehow.

If I have to borrow a gun and stick up some white man, I gets it!

You wait and see.

Can you beat the nerve of that dinge?

Jeez, if I wasn't dressed up, I'd go out and mop up the street with him.

Oh, let him go. The poor old dope.

Him and his gambling house.

He'll be back tonight, asking Harry for his room

and bummin' me for a ball.

Then I'll be the one to smash the glass.

I'll learn him his place.

Another guy all dolled up.

Got your clothes from solly's, huh, Willie?

Now you can sell it back to him again tomorrow.

No, I-I'm through with that stuff.

You look sick, Willie. Here. Take a ball. Pick you up.

No, thanks.

The only way to stop is to stop.

I'd have no chance if I went to the da's office smelling of booze.

You're really going there?

I said I was, didn't I?

I just came back here to rest for a few minutes.

I'll show that cheap drummer.

I don't need to have any Dutch courage.

Well, he's, uh... He's been very kind and generous,

staking me.

You know, my... my legs are a bit shaky.

I'd better sit down a while.

Here's another one.

Hey, good morning, gentlemen, all.

And a jolly good morning it is too.

An eye-opener? I think not, rocky, old chum.

Uh, not required, you know.

Feel extremely fit, as a matter of fact.

Can't say that I slept much though, thanks to that interfering ass hickey

and that stupid bounder of a boer.

I-I've had about all I can take from that fellow.

Oh, well. It's my own fault, I suppose,

for allowing a brute of a Dutch farmer to become familiar.

Well, it's come to a parting of the ways.

And jolly good riddance.

Oh, that reminds me.

Here's my key.

I shan't be coming back.

Sorry to be leaving good old Harry and the rest of you, of course,

but I-I simply cannot continue to live under the same roof with that fellow.

So hickey's kidded the pants off of you too?

You think you're leaving here, huh?

Ja.

That's what he kids himself.

Yes, I'm leaving, rocky.

Not that that ass hickey has anything to do with it.

B-been thinking things over, you know.

Time I turned over a new leaf.

He's gonna get a job. That's what he says.

What at, for Christ sake?

Oh, anything. Not manual labor, of course.

Uh, anything that calls for a bit of brains and education.

I'll see a pal of mine at the consulate.

He promised me whenever I felt an energetic fit,

he'd get me a post with the cunard.

Uh, clerk in the office or something of that kind.

Ja, at limey consulate, they promise anything to get rid of him,

when he comes there drunk.

They're scared to call the police and have him pinched

because it would scandal in the papers make

about limey officer and gentleman.

I only need the post temporarily, rocky.

Means to an end, you know.

Save enough for a passage... Uh, first-class passage home.

That's the bright idea.

Ha! He's sailing back to home sweet home.

That's biggest pipe dream of all.

What little brain the poor limey has left that isn't in whiskey pickled,

hickey has made crazy.

Hickey ain't made no sucker out of you, huh?

You're too foxy, huh?

But I bet you think you're goin' out and landing a job too.

I am, ja!

For me it is easy because I put on no airs of gentleman.

I'm not ashamed to work with my hands.

I was a farmer before the war

when bloody limey thieves steal my country.

Anyone I ask for job can see with one look

I have the great strength to do work of ten ordinary mens.

Yes, you remember, Chuck, he gave us a demonstration

of his extraordinary muscles last night

when he helped to move the piano.

You couldn't even hold up your corner.

It was your fault the damn box almost fell over.

My hands were sweaty.

Could I help that my hands slip?

I could the whole weight of it lift.

In old days in transvaal, I lift loaded oxcart by the axle.

So, why shouldn't I get job?

That longshoreman boss, Dan,

he tell me anytime I like,

he take me on.

And Benny from the market, he promise me same.

You remember, rocky, it was one of those rare occasions

when the boor that walks like a man...

Spelled with a double-o, by the way...

Was buying drinks when Dan and Ben were stony.

They'd have promised him the bloody moon.

Yeah, you big boob. Them birds was only kidding you.

That's lie! You will see. This morning I get job.

I'll show that bloody limey gentleman

and that liar hickey.

And I need work only little while

to save money for my passage home.

I need not much money because I am not ashamed to travel steerage.

I don't put on first-cabin airs!

Und I can go home to my country!

When I get there, they will let me come in!

There was a rumor in South Africa

that a certain boer officer...

If you can call the leaders of a rabble of Dutch farmers officers...

He kept advising cronjé to retreat

and not stand and fight.

And I was right. I was right.

He got surrounded at paardeberg.

He had to surrender.

Good strategy, no doubt.

But a suspicion grew afterwards

into a conviction among the boers

that the officer's caution was prompted

by a desire for his personal escape.

His countrymen were extremely savage about it.

And his family disowned him.

So I imagine there won't be any welcoming committee waiting on the dock,

n-nor any delighted relatives making the veldt ring

with their happy cries of "welcome home, general!"

All lies, you goddamned limey!

I also have heard rumors of a limey officer

who, after the war, lost all his money gambling

when he was drunk.

But they found out it was regiment money too he lost!

- Why, you bloody Dutch so... - Cut it out!

Let him come!

I saw them come before

at modder river, magersfontein,

spion kopje,

waving their silly swords,

so afraid they couldn't show how brave they was!

And I killed them with mein rifle so easy!

Listen to me, you Cecil!

Often when I'm drunk and kidding you,

I say I'm sorry I missed you.

But now, by god, I am sober,

and I don't joke, and I say...

You can't say hickey hasn't got the miraculous touch to raise the dead

when he can start the boer war raging again!

Yes, well, I-it's time I was on my merry way.

Early bird catches the job, what!

Uh, good... good-bye and good luck, rocky.

And the rest of you.

By god.

If that limey can go,

I can go.

Well, why don't you beat it?

Uh... uh... _eh?

Oh, just... just been thinking.

Hardly the decent thing to push off without saying good-bye to old Harry.

One of the best, old Harry. And good old Jimmy.

Th-they ought to be down very soon.

Oh, I'm... I'm sorry.

I seem to be blocking your way out.

No, I-I will wait

to say good-bye to Harry too.

Jeez, can you beat them simps?

Hell, I forgot Cora. She'll be throwin' a fit!

That's right. Wait on her and spoil her, you poor sap!

Look here, parritt. I'd like to have a talk with you.

- About what? - About the trouble you're in.

I know, I know. You don't admit it, and you're quite right.

That's my advice. Deny everything.

Say, what the hell are you accusing me of?

Make no statements whatever without consulting your attorney.

Keep your mouth shut. Look, you can trust me. I'm a lawyer.

And it's occurred to me that you and I ought to cooperate.

Of course, I'm going to see the da this morning about a job on his staff.

But, uh, that may take time.

There may not be an immediate opening.

And meanwhile, it, um, would be a good idea

for me to take a case or two on my own,

just to prove that my brilliant record in law school

was no flash in the pan.

So, why not retain me as your attorney?

You're crazy. What do I want with a lawyer?

Yeah, that's right. Don't admit anything.

But you can trust me, so let's not beat about the bush.

You got in trouble out on the coast, huh?

Now, you're in hiding. Any fool can spot that.

Y-you feel safe here, and maybe you are, for a while.

But remember, they get you in the end.

I know, from my father's experience.

Nobody could have felt safer than he did.

When anybody mentioned the law to him, he nearly died laughing.

- But... - You crazy mutt.

You hear that, Larry?

This damn fool thinks the cops are after me.

I wish to god they were.

And so should you, if you had the honor of a louse.

You're the guy who kids himself he's through with the movement.

You're still in love with it.

You're not in trouble, parritt? I was hoping... never mind.

No... no offense meant, parritt.

That's all right, Willie.

I'm not sore at you. It's that damned yellow faker that gets my goat.

I think I understand, Larry. It's really mother you still love.

Isn't it?

In spite of that dirty deal she gave you.

What the hell did you expect?

She was never true to anyone but herself and the movement.

But, Larry, I can understand how you still can't help feeling...

See, because I still love her too.

So, you see, I couldn't have expected they'd catch her, Larry.

You gotta believe me that I only sold 'em out

to get a few lousy dollars to blow on a whore.

There's no other reason, honest.

For the love of Christ, will you leave me in peace!

If you don't keep still,

you'll be saying something soon that'll make you vomit your own soul

like a drink of nickel rotgut that won't stay down!

- Larry, don't go! You gotta help me! - Set 'em up, rocky.

I swore I'd have no more drinks on hickey if I died of drought,

but I changed my mind.

B'god, he owed it to me.

I'd be blind to the world now

if it was the iceman of death himself treating.

What made me say that, I wonder.

Well, b'god, it fits,

for death was the iceman that hickey called to his home.

Oh, forget the iceman gag.

The poor dame is dead.

Go on and get paralyzed.

I'll be glad to see one bum in this dump act natural.

Come and sit here, Mac.

You're just the man I want to see.

If I'm to take your case, we ought to have a talk before we leave.

There'll be no talk. You damned fool.

Do you think I'd have your father's son for my lawyer?

- Mmm. - They'd take one look at you

and bounce us both out on our necks.

I don't need a lawyer anyway.

Hell with the law.

All I've got to do is see the right ones,

get them to pass the word.

They will too.

They know I was framed.

And once the word is passed,

it's as good as done, law or no law!

Here's my key, rocky.

I'd rather sleep in the gutter

than spend another night under the same roof as that drummer.

- Son of a drummer. - All you birds give me a pain.

It'd serve you right if I wouldn't give the keys back to you tonight.

Hello, everybody!

Here we go!

Oh.

Well, h-hickey just told us, ain't it time we beat it,

if we was really going.

So we're showing the bastard, ain't we, honey?

He's coming right down with Harry and Jimmy.

Jeez.

Them two look like they was going to the electric chair.

Whoa. Well, let's get going, honey, before he comes down.

- Sure. Anything you say, baby. - Yeah?

Well, I say we stop at the first regular dump,

and you gotta blow me to a Sherry flip... Or four or five, if I want 'em.

- Or all bets is off. - You got a fine bun on now.

Oh, cheapskate.

Here, use my money then if you're so stingy.

You'll grab it all anyways right after the ceremony.

I know you.

Here, you big tramp.

Keep your lousy dough,

and don't show your legs off to these bums when you're gonna be married,

if you don't want a sock in the puss!

All right, honey.

Say, why don't all you barflies come to the weddin'?

Well, we're going, guys.

Say, rocky, are you going deef?

I said me and Chuck was goin' now.

Well, good-bye. Give my love to Jersey.

Well, ain't you even gonna wish us happiness, you dirty little Guinea?

Sure.

Here's hopin' you don't murder each other before next week.

Baby, what do we care for that pimp?

- I think he's lying, Jimmy. - Here's hickey coming.

Let's get out of here.

Grab his arm, Jimmy.

Well, here we are.

We got this far at least.

Good work, Jimmy.

I told you you weren't half as sick as you pretended to be.

No excuse whatsoever for postponing, now.

Will you kindly keep your hands to yourself?

I merely mentioned I would feel more fit tomorrow.

But...

It might as well be today, I suppose.

Finish it now so it'll be dead forever and you'll be free.

Now, cheer up, Harry.

You notice your rheumatism didn't bother you coming down the stairs, did you?

You're the damnedest one for alibis, governor.

I can't hear you.

You're a liar! I've had rheumatism on and off for 20 years.

Ever since bessie died.

We all know it's the kind of rheumatism you turn on and off.

We're on to you, you old faker.

B'jeez! What are all you bums hanging around, staring at me for?

Why don't you get the hell out of here and tend to your own business,

like hickey's told you!

Yes, Harry, I certainly thought they would have had the guts

to have been gone by this time.

Or maybe I did have my doubts.

'Cause I know exactly what you're up against, boys.

I know you turn into such a coward,

that you'll grab at any lousy excuse not to kill your pipe dreams.

And yet, as I've said over and over again,

it's exactly those damned lying tomorrow dreams

that keep you from making peace with yourself.

So you've gotta kill them, like I did mine.

Well, come on, boys. Get moving.

Well, who's gonna start the ball rolling?

Well, you, captain, and you, general. You're nearest the door.

And besides, you're old war heroes. You ought to lead this forlorn hope.

Show us a little of that old battle of modder river spirit

we've heard so much about.

You can't hang around here all day

looking like you were scared the street outside would bite you.

Right you are, Mr. nosy bloody Parker.

Time I pushed off.

I was only waiting to say good-bye to you, Harry, old chum.

Good-bye, captain. Hope you have luck.

Oh, I'm bound to, old chap, and the same to you.

By god, if that limey can, I can.

Well, next?

Come on, Mac.

It's a fine summer's day.

That's the stuff, Mac.

Good-bye, Harry. Thanks for all your kindness.

That's the way, Willie.

Oh, the da's a busy man, Willie.

You can't keep him waiting all day, you know.

Good luck, Willie.

Now it's your turn, Jimmy, old pal.

Jimmy.

You can't do that to yourself, Jimmy, old pal.

One drink on top of your hangover on an empty stomach, you'll be orey-eyed.

Tomorrow. I'll be in good shape tomorrow.

All right. I'm going.

Take your hands off me!

Dirty swine!

All set for an alcohol rub now.

Ah.

No hard feelings.

I know how he feels.

I wrote the book.

I've seen the day, if anybody forced me to face the truth about my pipe dreams,

I'd have shot 'em dead.

Well, governor.

Jimmy made the grade. Now it's your turn.

Leave Harry alone. Damn you.

I'd make up my mind about myself, if I were you, Larry,

and not bother over Harry.

He doesn't need anyone's bum pity. Do you, governor?

No, b'jeez.

Keep your nose out of this, Larry.

I've always been going to take this walk, ain't I?

You bums want to keep me locked up in here as if I was in jail.

Well, I've stood it long enough.

I'll do as I damned please, b'jeez.

You keep your nose out too, hickey.

B'jeez, you'd think you was the boss of this dump, and not me.

What the hell's to be scared of?

Sure, I'm all right.

Just taking a stroll around my own ward.

What's the weather like outside, rocky?

Fine day, boss.

What's that? I can't hear you.

Don't look fine to me.

Looks as if it'd pour down cats and dogs any minute.

My rheumatis... oh! Must be my eyes.

Half blind, b'jeez.

Makes things look black. I see now it's a fine day.

Too damned hot for a walk though, if you ask me, yeah.

Well, do me good to sweat the booze out of me.

But I'll have to watch out for the damned automobiles.

Wasn't none of them around the last time.

From what I've seen through the window,

they'd run over you as soon as look at you.

Well, so long.

Well, b'jeez, where are you, hickey? It's time we got started.

No, no, Harry. Can't be done. You gotta keep a date with yourself alone.

Hell of a guy you are.

Thought you'd be willing to help me across the street, seeing I'm half blind.

Half deef too. I can't hear those damned automobiles.

Oh, the hell with you!

I've never needed no one's help and I don't now.

I'll take a good long walk now I've started.

See all my old friends. B'jeez, they must have given me up for dead.

They know it was grief over bessie's death that made me...

Well, sooner I get started...

You know, hickey, that's what gets me.

I can't help thinking that the last time I went out

was to bessie's funeral.

After she'd gone, I didn't feel life was worth living.

I can't feel it's right for me to go, even now, hickey.

It's like I was doing wrong to her memory.

Now, governor, you can't let yourself get away with that one anymore.

What's that? I can't hear you.

B'jeez, I remember as clear as day

the last time before she...

It was a fine Sunday morning.

We went out to church together.

It's a great act, governor, but I know better, and so do you.

You never did want to go to church or any place else with her.

She was always on your neck, wanting you to have ambition and go out and do things,

when all you wanted to do was to get drunk in peace.

Can't hear a word you're saying.

You're a goddamned liar anyway!

B'jeez, you son of a bitch.

If there was a mad dog out there,

I'd go and shake hands with it rather than stay here with you.

Jesus! He made it!

I'd have give you 50-to-1 he'd never...

Oh-ho. He's stopped.

I'll bet you he's comin' back.

Of course he's coming back.

By tonight they'll all be here again, you dumbbell. That's the whole point.

No, he ain't neither! He's gone to the curb.

He's lookin' up and down. Scared stiff of automobiles.

There ain't more than two an hour comes down this street, the old boob!

B'jeez, give me a drink, quick.

Scared me out of a year's growth.

B'jeez, that guy oughta be pinched!

B'jeez, it ain't safe to walk in the streets. Give me that bottle.

- You seen it, didn't you, rocky? - Seen what?

That automobile, you dumb wop!

Fella driving it must be drunk or crazy.

He'd have run right over me if I hadn't have jumped.

Larry, have a drink. Come on. Everybody have a drink.

Have a cigar, rocky. I know you hardly touch it.

This is one time I do touch it!

I'm gonna get stinko, see!

Well, jeez, Harry!

I thought you had some guts!

I was bettin' you'd make it and show that four-flusher up.

Automobile, hell! Who do you think you're kiddin'?

There was no automobile! You just quit cold.

I guess I ought to know. B'jeez, it almost killed me.

Now, now, governor, don't be foolish.

You've faced the test and you've come through.

You're rid of that nagging dream stuff now.

You know you can't believe it anymore.

You saw it, didn't you, Larry?

Have a drink. Have another. Have all you want.

We'll go on a grand old souse together.

You saw that automobile, didn't you?

Sure, I saw it, Harry. You had a narrow escape.

B'god, I thought you were a goner.

What the hell are you doing, Larry?

Remember what I told you about the wrong kind of pity. Now leave him alone.

You'd think I was trying to harm him, the fool way you act.

Why, there isn't anything I wouldn't do for Harry, and he knows it.

All I wanted was to fix it so he'd finally be at peace with himself.

If you'll just wait till the final returns are in,

that's exactly what I've accomplished.

Come on, governor.

What's the use of being stubborn now that it's over and dead?

- Give up that ghost automobile. - Yeah.

What's the use now?

It's all a lie.

No automobile.

B'jeez, something ran over me.

Must have been myself, I guess.

Guess I'll sit down.

Feel all in.

Like a corpse, b'jeez.

Hello, Hugo.

Coming up for air?

Oh, stay passed out. That's the right dope.

There ain't any cool Willow trees,

except you grow your own in a bottle.

Hello, Harry.

Stupid proletarian monkey face.

I will drink champagne

beneath the wil...

But the slaves must ice it properly!

Goddamned hickey!

Peddler pimp for nouveau riche capitalism!

When I lead the jackass mob to the sack of Babylon,

I will make them hang him to the first lamppost!

Good work.

I'll help pull the rope.

Have a drink, Hugo.

Uh, no, thank you.

I'm too crazy drunk.

I hear myself say crazy things.

Do not listen, please.

Larry will tell you, I have never been so crazy drunk.

I must sleep it off.

What's the matter, Harry? You look funny.

You look dead!

What's happened? I don't know you.

Listen,

I feel I'm dying too

because I'm so crazy drunk.

I can't sleep here with you. You look dead!

Another one who's begun to enjoy your peace.

Oh, I know it's rough on him right now. Same as it is on Harry.

But that's just the first shock.

I promise you they'll both be all right.

And you believe that?

I see you do, you mad fool.

Of course, I believe it.

I know from my own experience.

And now it's my turn, I suppose.

What is it I'm to do to achieve this blessed peace of yours?

Well, we've discussed all of that, Larry.

Just stop lying to yourself.

You think when I say I'm finished with life

and tired of watching the stupid greed of the human circus

and I'll welcome closing my eyes in the long sleep of death,

you think that's a coward"s lie?

Well, what do you think?

I'm afraid to live, am I?

And even more afraid to diel

so I sit here, with my pride drowned on the bottom of a bottle,

keeping drunk so I won't see myself shaking in my britches with fright,

or hear myself whining and praying,

beloved Christ, let me live a little longer at any price.

If it's only for a few days more, or a few hours even,

have mercy, almighty god,

and let me still clutch greedily to my yellow heart

this sweet treasure, this Jewel beyond price,

this dirty, stinking bit of withered old flesh

which is my beautiful little life.

You think you'll make me admit that to myself?

But you just did admit it, didn't you?

That's the stuff, hickey.

Show that old yellow faker up. He can't play dead on me like this.

Yes, you're gonna have to settle with him, Larry.

I'm leaving you entirely in his hands.

And he'll do as good a job as I could

at making you give up the old grandstand bluff.

Close that big clam of yours, hickey.

B'jeez, you're a worse gabber than that nagging bitch bessie was.

Jeez! Did you hear that?

What's wrong with this booze?

There's no kick in it.

Jeez, Larry. Hugo had it right.

He does look like he croaked.

Don't be a damned fool. He's all right.

It's just the first shock.

You are all right, aren't you, Harry?

I... I want to pass out like Hugo.

It's the peace of death you've brought him.

That's a lie.

Well, well, you did manage to get a rise out of me that time, didn't you?

That's just plain damned foolishness.

Look at me. I've been through it. Do I look dead?

Just leave Harry alone. Give him time.

It's the first shock. He'll be all right.

He'll be a new man, like I am.

How's it coming, governor?

Beginning to feel free, aren't you?

Relieved and not guilty anymore?

Mmm, b'jeez.

You must have been monkeying with the booze too,

you interfering bastard.

There's no life in it now.

I want to get drunk and pass out.

I'll admit I didn't think it'd hit him so hard.

He's always been such a happy-go-lucky slob, like I was.

Well, it hit me hard too, but only for a minute.

But then I felt as if a ton of guilt had been lifted off my mind.

And I saw what had happened was the only possible way

for the peace of all concerned.

What was it happened?

Tell us that.

And don't try to get out of it. I want a straight answer!

I-I think it's something you drove someone else to do.

Someone else?

What did your wife die of?

You've kept that a deep secret.

That's not very considerate of you, Larry,

but if you insist on knowing now, there's no reason you shouldn't.

It was a bullet through the head that killed poor Evelyn.

Who... who the hell cares?

To hell with her and that nagging old hag bessie.

Christ. You had the right dope, Larry.

You drove your poor wife to suicide?

I knew it.

B'god, I don't blame her. I'd almost do the same thing myself to get rid of you.

It's what you'd like to drive us all to...

I'm sorry, hickey. I'm sorry.

I'm a rotten louse to throw that in your face.

Oh, that's all right, Larry.

But don't jump to conclusions.

I didn't say poor Evelyn committed suicide.

That's the last thing she'd have done,

while I was still alive so she could take care of me and forgive me.

No, if you'd known her at all, you'd never have such a crazy suspicion.

No, I'm sorry to tell you my poor wife was killed.

She was murdered?

You're a liar, Larry!

You must be crazy to say that to me. You know damn well she's still alive.

Murdered? Who done it?

Shut up, you dumb wop. It's none of our damn business. Leave him alone.

Still the old grandstand bluff?

Or just some more bum pity?

The police don't know who killed her yet, rocky,

but I expect they will before very long.

How's it coming, governor?

Getting over the first shock?

Beginning to feel free of guilt and lying hopes

and at peace with yourself?

Somebody croaked your Evelyn, eh?

B'jeez, my bets are on the iceman.

But who the hell cares?

Let's get drunk and pass out.

B'jeez, what did you do to the booze, hickey?

There's no damned life left in it.

Larry, don't look like that.

You gotta believe what I'm telling you!

It had nothing to do with her! It was just for a few lousy dollars! Honest!

Don't be a fool. Buy me a drink!

But no more wine!

It is not properly iced!

You goddamned stupid proletarian slaves!

Buy me a drink or I'll have you shot!

Please, for god's sake!

I'm not drunk enough!

I cannot sleep!

Life is a crazy monkey face!

Always there's blood beneath the Willow trees!

I hate it!

I'm afraid.

Oh, please. Please. Please.

I'm too crazy drunk.

I say crazy things.

Oh, for god's sake,

do not listen to me!

Do not listen to me!

I'm afraid.

You're beginning to worry me, governor.

Something's holding you up somewhere, but I don't see why.

You've faced the truth about yourself.

You've done what you had to do to kill your nagging pipe dreams.

Oh, I know it knocks you cold.

But only for a minute.

Then you'll see it was the only possible way to peace.

Then you'll feel happy, like I did.

That's what worries me about you, governor.

It's time you began to feel happy.

Come on, you damn nigger.

Beat it in the backroom. It's after hours.

Aw, to hell with it. Let the dump get pinched.

I'm through with this lousy job anyway.

Huh. Been scrappin', huh?

Started off on your periodical, ain't you?

- Yeah. Ain't you glad? - I'm out on my feet holdin' down your job.

You said if I'd take your day, you'd relieve me at 6:00.

And here it's half past 1:00 A.M.

Well, you're takin' over now, get me?

- No matter how plastered you are! - Ah, plastered.

Hell, I wish I was. I lapped up a gallon, but it don't hit me right.

And to hell with the job. I'm gonna tell Harry I'm quittin'.

Well, I'm quittin' too.

I've played sucker for that crummy blonde long enough,

lettin' her kid me into workin'.

- From now on I take it easy. - I'm glad you're gettin' some sense.

I hope you're gettin' some.

What a prize sap you been,

tendin' bar when you got two good hustlers in your stable.

Yeah, but I ain't no sap now.

I'll learn 'em when they get back from coney.

Jeez, that Cora sure played you for a dope,

feedin' you that marriage-on-a-farm hop.

Yeah, hickey got it right. A lousy pipe dream.

It was her pulling Sherry flips on me woke me up.

Walkin' to the ferry, every gin mill we come to, she'd drag me in to blow her.

I got thinkin', what won't she want

when she gets that ring on her finger and I'm hooked?

So I tells her at the ferry,

"kiddo, you can go to Jersey or to hell, but count me out."

She said it was her told you to go to hell

because you'd start hittin' the booze.

I got thinkin' too, jeez, won't I look sweet

with a wife that if you put all the guys she's stayed with side by side,

they'd reach to Chicago.

That kind of dame, you can't trust 'em.

The minute your back is turned, they're cheatin' with the iceman or someone.

Hickey done me a favor, makin' me wake up.

Only it was fun, kinda, me and Cora kiddin' ourselves.

Say, where is that son of a bitch, hickey?

I want one good sock at the guy... just one...

And the next buttin' in he'll do will be in the morgue.

- I'll take a chance on goin' to the chair! - Sit down!

Keep away from him, Chuck! He ain't here now anyway.

He went out to phone, he said. I got a hunch he beat it.

But if he does come back, you don't know him, if anyone asks you, get me?

The chair... maybe that's where he's goin'.

I don't know nothin', see, but it looks like he croaked his wife.

You mean she really was cheatin' on him? Then I don't blame the guy.

- Who's blamin' him? - Is any of the gang wise?

Larry is. And the boss oughta be.

I tried to wise the rest of them to stay clear of him,

but they're all so licked, I don't know if they got it.

Oh, I don't give a damn what he done to his wife,

but if he gets the hot seat, I won't go into no mournin'.

Me neither.

Not after his throwin' it in my face I'm a pimp.

What if I am? And what's he done to Harry?

Jeez, the poor old slob is so licked, he can't even get drunk.

And all the gang.

I couldn't help feelin' sorry for the poor bums

when they showed up tonight, one by one,

lookin' like pooches with their tails between their legs

that everyone'd been kickin' till they were too punch-drunk to feel it no more.

Jimmy tomorrow was the last.

Schwartz, the copper, brung him in.

Seen him sittin' on the dock on west street,

lookin' at the water and cryin'.

Schwartz thought he was drunk, and I let him think it.

But he was cold sober.

He was tryin' to jump in and didn't have the nerve, I figured it.

Jeez, there ain't enough guts left in the whole gang to battle a mosquito.

Aw, to hell with them. Who cares? Give me a drink.

I see you been hittin' the red-eye too.

Yeah. But it don't do no good. I can't get drunk right.

This dirty dinge was able to get his snootful and pass out.

Jeez, even hickey can't faze a nigger.

You'd think he was fazed if you'd seen him come in.

Stinko, and he pulled a gat and said he'd plug hickey for insultin' him.

Then he dropped it and began to cry

and said he wasn't a gamblin' man or a tough guy no more.

He got drunk panhandlin' drinks in nigger joints, I suppose.

I guess they felt sorry for him.

He ain't got no business in a bar after hours. Why don't you Chuck him out?

Aw, to hell with it. Who cares?

Yeah, I don't.

Excuse me, white boys.

I don't want to be where I'm not wanted.

My pig's in the backroom, ain't she?

I wanna collect the dough I wouldn't take this mornin', like a sucker,

before she blows it.

I'm comin' too.

I'm waitin', baby. Dig.

Yeah. I been expectin' you. I got it all ready. Here.

Jeez, imagine me kiddin' myself I wanted to marry a drunken pimp.

That's nothin', baby.

Imagine what a sap I'd have been

when I can get your dough just as easy without it.

Hello, old cemetery.

Hello, tightwad.

You still around?

Ask Larry.

He knows I'm here, all right, although he's pretending not to.

He'd like to forget I'm alive.

He's trying to kid himself with that grandstand philosopher stuff.

But he knows he can't get away with that now.

He kept himself locked up in his room until a while ago,

alone with a bottle of booze.

He couldn't make it work. He couldn't even get drunk.

So he had to come out.

There must have been something up there he was even more scared to face

than he is me and hickey.

I guess he got looking at the fire escape...

Thinking how handy it was if he was really sick of life

and only had the nerve to die.

And he's been thinking about me too, rocky.

He's gotta figure a way to get out of helping me.

He loved her too, so he thinks I oughta take a hop off the fire escape.

For god's sake, can't you say something?

Larry.

Larry?

Thinking of what hickey must have done

has got me so I don't know anymore what I did or why.

I can't go on like this.

I gotta know what I gotta do.

Goddamn you! Are you trying to make me your executioner?

Executioner.

- Then you think I... - I don't think anything.

I... I suppose you think I ought to die, huh?

Because I sold out a lot of loudmouthed fakers?

Hal

don't make me laugh. I oughta get a medal.

Oh, you old sap!

You must still believe in the movement.

Hickey's right about him, isn't he, rocky?

An old, no-good drunken tramp, as dumb as he is,

oughta take a hop off the fire escape.

Sure. Why don't he?

Or you? Or me?

Oh, what the hell's the difference? Who cares?

What am I doin' here with youse two?

I remember I had something on my mind to tell you. What?

Oh, I got it now.

I was thinking how you was both regular guys.

I'm thinking, ain't two guys like them saps

to be hangin' around like a couple of stew bums and wastin' themselves?

What do you think, parritt?

You ain't a bad-looking guy.

You could easy make some gal who's a good hustler and start a stable.

I'd help you and wise you up to the inside dope on the game.

Well, what about it?

What if they do call you a pimp?

I don't want anything to do with whores. I wish they were all in jail or dead.

All right. Stay a bum.

How 'bout you, Larry?

You ain't dumb. Sure, you're old.

But that don't matter. All the girls think you're aces.

They fall for you like you were their uncle or old man or somethin'.

They like takin' care of you.

And the cops around here, they like you too.

You wouldn't have to worry where the next drink's comin' from or wear dirty clothes.

Well? Don't it look good to you?

No, it doesn't look good, rocky.

I mean, the peace hickey's brought you.

It isn't contented enough, if you have to make a pimp of everyone else.

I'm a sap to waste time on you.

A stew bum is a stew bum.

Oh, like I was sayin' to Chuck,

if anyone asks you, you don't know nothin' about hickey, get me?

You never even heard he had a wife.

Oh, jeez.

We all oughta get drunk and stage a celebration

when that bastard goes to the chair.

B'god, I'll celebrate with you and drink to his long, long life in hell.

That poor devil.

Ah, that's pity. The wrong kind.

He'll welcome the chair.

Yes. What are you so damned scared about death for?

I don't want your lousy pity.

I hope he don't come back, Larry.

We don't know nothin' now.

We're only guessin', see?

But if that bastard keeps on talking...

He'll come back, and he'll keep on talking.

He's lost his confidence that the peace he's sold us is the real McCoy,

and it's made him uneasy about his own.

- He'll have to prove... - That's a damned lie, Larry.

I haven't lost confidence.

When I made up my mind to sell someone something I thought they oughta want,

I've sold 'em.

I mean, I don't think it's very kind of you to make that kind of a crack

when I've been doing my best to help.

Keep away from me, will ya.

I don't know nothin' about you, see?

Well, how's it coming, everybody?

I'm sorry I had to leave you for a while,

but there was something I had to get finally settled.

It's all fixed now.

When are you gonna do something about this booze, hickey?

We can't pass out, and you promised us peace.

For god's sake, Harry, are you still harping on that damned nonsense?

You kept it up all afternoon and night!

And you got everybody else singing the same crazy tune!

I've had about all I can stand. That's why I phoned.

Excuse me, boys and girls. I don't mean that.

It's just that I worry about you when you play dead on me like this.

I was hoping by the time I got back, you'd be like you ought to be.

I thought you were deliberately holding back on me before, when I was here,

because you didn't wanna give me the satisfaction

of showin' me that I had the right dope.

And I did have. I know from my own experience.

But I've explained that a million times.

And you've all done what you needed to do.

By rights, you should be contented with yourself

and free from lying hopes and nagging dreams that torment you.

But here you are, sitting around like a lot of stiffs cheating the undertaker!

I can't figure it.

Unless it's just your damned stubborn pigheadedness.

Ah, hell.

Don't act like this with me, gang.

You're my old pals, the only friends I've got.

You know, the one thing I want is to see you happy before I go.

There's damned little time left now.

I made a date for two o'clock.

So we've gotta get busy right away and find out what's wrong.

Can't you appreciate what you've got, for god's sake?

Don't you see you're free to be yourselves now

without feeling remorse or guilt,

or having to lie to yourselves about reforming tomorrow?

Don't you see there is no tomorrow now?

You're rid of it forever. You've killed it.

You don't have to care a damn about anything anymore.

You've finally got the game of life licked. Don't you see that?

Then why the hell don't you get drunk and sing "sweet Adeline"?

Why don't you laugh and celebrate and get pie-eyed?

Ah.

The only reason I can think of is you're putting on this rotten half-dead act

just to get back at me, 'cause you hate my guts.

God, don't do that, gang.

It makes me feel like hell to think that you hate me.

It makes me feel that you suspected that I hated you.

But that is a lie!

I used to hate everybody in the world that wasn't as rotten a bastard as I was.

But that was when I was still living in hell,

before I faced the truth...

And saw the one possible way to free poor Evelyn

and give her the peace that she'd always dreamed about.

Aw, put a bag over it!

To hell with Evelyn. What if she was cheatin'?

And who cares what you did to her? That's your funeral.

We don't give a damn, see?

All we want outta you is keep the hell away from us and give us a rest!

The one possible way to make up to her for all I'd made her go through,

and get her rid of me so I couldn't make her suffer anymore,

and she wouldn't have to forgive me again.

I saw I couldn't do it by killing myself, like I'd wanted to for a long time.

That would have been the last straw for her.

She'd have died of a broken heart to think that I could do that to her.

She'd have blamed herself too.

Or I just couldn't run away from her.

She'd have died of grief and humiliation if I'd done that to her.

She'd have thought I'd stopped loving her.

You see,

Evelyn loved me, and I loved her.

That was the trouble.

It would have been easy to find a way out if she hadn't have loved me so much.

Or if I hadn't have loved her.

But as it was, there was only one possible way.

I had to kill her.

Mad fool, can't you keep your mouth shut?

We may hate you for what you've done this time,

but we remember the old times

when you brought laughter and kindness here instead of death.

We don't wanna know things that will make us help send you to the chair!

Shut up! You yellow faker! Can't you face anything?

Wouldn't I deserve the chair too, if I'd...

It's worse if you kill someone and they have to go on living.

I'd be glad of the chair.

It'd wipe it out. It'd square me with myself.

I wish you'd get rid of that bastard, Larry.

I can't have him pretending there's something in common between him and me.

It's what's in your heart that counts.

There was love in my heart, not hate.

You're the liar!

I don't hate her. I couldn't!

And anyway, it had nothing to do with her. You ask Larry.

Goddamn you, stop shoving your rotten soul in my lap!

Don't worry about the chair, Larry.

I know you're still terrified by death,

but when you've made peace with yourself, like I have...

You won't give a damn.

Listen, everybody. I've made up my mind.

The only way I can clear this up for you so you'll realize

how contented and carefree you ought to feel,

now that I've made you get rid of your pipe dreams,

is to show you what a pipe dream did to me and Evelyn.

I'm certain if I tell you about it from the beginning,

you'll appreciate what I've done for you and why I did it

and how damned grateful you ought to be,

instead of hating me.

You see, even as kids, Evelyn and me...

All we want is to pass out and get drunk

and a little peace!

All right, if that's the way you feel.

I don't want to cram it down your throats.

I don't need to tell anyone.

I don't feel guilty. I'm only worried about you.

What did you do to this booze?

That's what we'd like to hear.

Ain't that right, Jimmy?

Yes.

Quite right.

It was all a stupid lie... My nonsense about tomorrow.

Naturally, they would never give me my position back.

And I would never dream of asking them.

I didn't resign. I was fired for drunkenness.

And it was absurd of me to excuse my drunkenness

by pretending it was my wife's adultery that ruined my life.

As hickey guessed,

I was a drunkard before that.

I discovered early in life that living frightened me when I was sober.

I've even forgotten why I married Marjorie.

I had some idea of wanting a home, perhaps.

But, of course, I much preferred the nearest pub.

Why Marjorie married me, god knows.

She soon found out that I much preferred drinking all night with my pals

to being at home in bed with her.

So, naturally, she was unfaithful.

And I was glad to be free,

even grateful to her, I think,

for giving me such a good, tragic excuse.

In the backroom if you want a drink.

Guy named hickman in the backroom?

- Think I know the names... - Listen, you. This is murder.

It was hickman himself phoned in and said we'd find him here around 2:00.

So that's who he phoned to.

Yeah, he's in there.

And if you want a confession, all you gotta do is listen.

You can't stop the bastard talkin'.

I've gotta tell you, your being this way now gets my goat.

And it's all wrong.

It puts things in my mind.

It makes me think that if I got balled up about you,

then how do I know I wasn't balled up about myself?

And that is just plain damned foolishness.

But when you know the story of me and Evelyn,

you'll see it was the only possible way out, for her sake.

Only I've gotta start way back at the beginning.

Otherwise, you won't understand.

You see, even as a kid, I was always restless.

I had to keep on the go.

You've heard the old saying that ministers' sons are sons of guns?

Well, that was me and then some.

Home was like a jail.

Listening to my old man whooping up hellfire

and scaring those hoosier suckers into shelling out their dough

only handed me a laugh,

although I gotta hand it to him,

the way he sold them nothing for something,

I guess I take after him,

and that's what made me a good salesman.

Well, like I said, home was like jail, and so was school,

and so was that damned hick town.

The only places I liked were the pool halls,

where I could smoke sweet caporals and mop up a couple of beers, huh?

Thinking I was a hell-on-wheels sport.

We had one hooker shop in town.

Of course, I liked that too. Not that I hardly ever had the entrance money.

My old man was a tight old bastard.

But I liked to sit around in the parlor and joke with the girls,

and they liked me too 'cause I'd kid 'em along and make 'em laugh.

Well, you know how a small town is.

Everybody got wise to me.

They said I was a no-good tramp. But I didn't give a damn what they said.

I hated everybody in the place.

That is, except Evelyn.

And I loved Evelyn, even as a kid.

And Evelyn loved me.

Larry, I loved mother, no matter what she did. I still do.

Yes, sir, as far back as I can remember,

Evelyn and I loved each other.

She always stood up for me.

She wouldn't believe the gossip, or she pretended she wouldn't.

No one could convince her that I was no good.

Evelyn was stubborn as hell once she'd made up her mind.

Even when I'd admit things and ask her forgiveness,

she'd make excuses for me and defend me against myself.

And she'd kiss me

and she'd say she knew that I wouldn't do it again.

I said that I wouldn't, and I'd promise...

I'd have to promise.

She was so damn sweet and good.

Yet I knew darned well...

No, sir, you couldn't stop Evelyn!

Nothing on earth could shake her faith in me. Even I couldn't.

She was a sucker for a pipe dream.

Well, naturally, her family forbid her seeing me.

They were one of the town's best, rich for that hick burg.

They owned the trolley line and the lumber company.

Strict methodists too.

Oh, did they hate my guts.

Even they couldn't stop Evelyn.

She'd sneak notes to me, and we'd meet on the side.

But I was getting more restless,

and the town was getting more like a jail.

I made up my mind to beat it.

I knew exactly what I wanted to be by that time.

I'd met a lot of drummers around the hotel, and I liked them.

They were always telling jokes, huh?

They were sports. Always on the move. I liked their life.

And I knew I could kid people and sell things.

The hitch was how to get the railroad fare to the big town.

Well, I told Mollie Arlington my trouble.

She was the madam of the cathouse.

She liked me.

She laughed and she said, "hell, I'll stake you, kid. I'll bet on you.

With that grin of yours and that line of bull,

you oughta be able to sell skunks for good ratters."

Yeah, Mollie was all right.

She made me feel confident in myself.

Well, I paid her back too... First money I earned.

I remember sending her a kidding letter saying that I was peddling baby carriages,

and she and the girls had better get in on our bargain offer.

Ho-ho-ho-ho!

That's getting ahead of my story.

That last night before I left town...

I had a date with Evelyn.

I got all worked up.

She was so pretty and sweet and good.

I told her straight.

I said, "you better forget me, Evelyn, for your own sake.

I'm no good, and I never will be."

And I broke down and cried.

And she just said, looking white and scared,

"why, Teddy, don't you still love me?"

And I said, "love you?

God, Evelyn, I love you more than anything in the world, and I always will."

And she said,

"then nothing matters, Teddy.

Because nothing but death can stop my loving you.

So when you're ready, you send for me, and we'll be married.

And I know I can make you happy, Teddy, and when you're happy,

you won't want to do any of those bad things you've done anymore."

And I said, "of course I won't, Evelyn."

And I meant it.

I believed it.

I loved her so much, she could make me believe anything.

You married her, you caught her cheating with the iceman,

and you croaked her.

All we want is to pass out in peace, b'jeez!

So I beat it to the big town.

I got a job easy. It was a cinch for me to make good.

I had the knack. It was like a game, sizing people up quick,

spotting what their pet pipe dreams were,

and then kidding them along that line,

pretending you believed what they wanted to believe about themselves.

Then they liked you, they trusted you,

they wanted to buy something to show their gratitude.

It was fun.

But still, all the while, I felt guilty,

as though I shouldn't be having such a good time away from Evelyn.

In each of my letters, I'd tell her how I missed her, but I'd warn her too.

I'd tell her about my faults,

how I liked my booze every now and then and so on.

But you couldn't shake Evelyn's belief in me

or her dreams about the future.

And then after each one of her letters,

I'd be as full of faith as she was.

So when I got enough saved to start us off, I sent for her, and we got married.

Christ, wasn't I happy for a while!

And wasn't she happy.

I don't care what anybody says.

I'll bet there were never two people who loved each other more than me and Evelyn.

Not only then, but ever afterwards.

In spite of everything I did.

Well, it's all there, at the start...

Everything that happened afterwards.

I never could learn to handle temptation.

I'd want to reform and mean it.

I'd promise her, and I'd promise myself, and I'd believe it.

I'd even tell her, "it's the last time, Evelyn."

And she'd say, "I know it's the last time, Teddy. You'll never do it again."

And that's what made it so hard.

That's what made me feel like such a rotten skunk...

Her always forgiving me.

My playing around with women, for instance.

It was just a harmless good time to me. It didn't mean anything.

But I'd know what it meant to her.

So I'd swear to myself, never again.

But you know how it is, traveling around. Those damn hotel rooms.

You'd get to seeing things in the wallpaper.

I'd get so damned bored, so lonely and homesick.

But at the same time, sick of home.

I'd feel free. I'd want to celebrate a little.

Well, I never drank on the job, so it had to be dames. Any tart.

What I'd want was some tramp that I could be myself with without being ashamed,

someone I could tell a dirty joke to, and she'd laugh.

Jeez!

All the lousy jokes I've had to listen to and pretend was funny.

Sometimes I'd try a joke that I thought was a real corker on Evelyn.

She'd always make herself laugh.

But I could tell she thought it was dirty and not funny.

She always knew about the tarts that I'd been with when I came home from a trip.

She'd kiss me and look in my eyes, and she'd know.

And I could see in her eyes her not wanting to know.

And telling herself, even if it is true, he can't help it.

They tempt him. He's lonely. He hasn't got me.

It's only his body. He doesn't love them. I'm the only one he loves.

And she was right too!

Couldn't if I wanted to.

She forgave me even when it all had to come out in the open.

You know how it is when you keep taking chances.

You may be lucky for a long time, but you get nicked in the end.

I picked up a nail from some tart in altoona.

Yeah, and she picked it up from some guy.

It's all in the game.

I had to do a lot of lying and stalling when I got home,

but it didn't do any good.

The quack I went to got all my dough.

And he told me I was cured, and I believed him.

But I wasn't.

And poor Evelyn.

But she did her best to make me believe that she fell for my lie

about how traveling men get things

from drinking cups... on trains.

Anyway, she forgave me,

the same way she forgave me every time I'd show up after a periodical drunk!

And you all know what I look like after one of those. You saw me.

Like something lying in the gutter that no alley cat would lower himself to drag in,

something they threw out of the dt ward at bellevue along with the garbage,

something that should be dead...

But isn't.

Evelyn wouldn't have heard from me in a month or more.

She'd been waiting there alone...

With the neighbors feeling sorry for her out loud and shaking their heads.

That was until she got me to move to the outskirts...

Where there weren't any next-door neighbors.

Then the door would open.

In I'd stumble...

Looking like what I just said...

Into her home, which she always kept so spotless and clean.

And I'd sworn it would never happen again!

And now I'd have to start swearing again that this was the last time!

I could see disgust having a battle in her eyes with love.

But love always won.

She'd make herself kiss me...

As though nothing had happened...

As though I'd just come home from a business trip.

She'd never complain or bawl me out.

Christ, can you imagine what a guilty skunk she made me feel!

If only once she admitted that her pipe dream about tomorrow

and my behaving myself would never be any good,

but she wouldn't!

She was stubborn as hell.

Once she'd set her mind on anything,

you couldn't shake her faith that it had to come through tomorrow!

Well, it was the same old story

over and over, for years and years.

It kept piling up, inside her and inside me.

God, can you picture what I made her suffer,

and all the guilt that she made me feel,

and how I hated myself?

If she only hadn't been so damned good,

if she'd have been the same kind of wife that I was a husband.

God, sometimes I used to pray that she'd...

I'd even say to her, "go on, why don't you, Evelyn?

It'd serve me right. I wouldn't mind. I'd forgive you."

Of course, I'd pretend I was kidding,

the same way I used to joke here about her being in the hay with the iceman.

She'd have felt so hurt if I said it seriously.

She'd have thought I stopped loving her.

Ah! I suppose you think I'm a liar,

that no woman could have stood all she stood and still loved me so much,

that it isn't human for a woman to be so pitying and forgiving.

Well, I am not lying,

and if you'd ever seen her, you'd realize that I wasn't.

It was written all over her face...

Sweetness, love, pity, forgiveness.

Wait. I'll show you. I always carry her picture.

No, I'm forgetting.

I tore it up afterwards.

I didn't need it anymore.

Jeez, hickey, jeez!

I burnt up mother's picture, Larry.

Her eyes kept following me around all the time.

They seemed to be wishing I was dead.

It kept piling up, like I said.

I got so I thought about it all the time.

And I hated myself more and more, thinking of all the wrong I'd done

to the sweetest woman in the world that loved me so much.

It even got so I'd curse myself for a lousy bastard

every time I saw myself in the mirror.

I felt such pity for her, it drove me crazy.

You'd never believe it, would you, Larry?

A guy like me, that's knocked around so much, could feel such pity.

It got so every night I'd... wind up hiding my face in her lap,

bawling and begging for forgiveness.

Of course, she'd always comfort me and say,

"never mind, Teddy.

I know you won't ever again.”

Christ, I loved her so.

But I began to hate that pipe dream!

I was beginning to think I was going bughouse,

because sometimes I couldn't forgive her for forgiving me!

I even caught myself hating her for making me hate myself so much!

There's a limit to the guilt you can feel and the forgiveness and pity you can take!

You have to begin blaming somebody else too!

It got so sometimes when she'd kiss me...

It was like she was doing it on purpose

to humiliate me,

as if she'd spit in my face!

Well, I saw how crazy and rotten that was of me,

and I just hated myself more and more!

You'd never believe that I could hate so much.

Huh, Larry?

A good-natured, happy-go-lucky slob like me.

As the time got nearer when I was due to come here for my drunk

around Harry's birthday,

I got nearly crazy.

I kept swearing to her every night that this time I really wouldn't,

until I'd made it a real final test to myself and to her.

She kept encouraging me and saying,

"I can see you really mean it now, Teddy.

I know you'll conquer it this time, and we'll be so happy."

And when she'd say that and kiss me...

I'd believe it too.

Then she'd go to bed,

and I'd stay up 'cause I couldn't sleep

and I didn't want to disturb her, rolling and twisting around.

I'd get so damned lonely.

I'd get to thinking how peaceful it was here,

sittin' around with the old gang, gettin' drunk,

and forgetting about love.

Laughing and singing and joking, swapping lies.

And finally I knew I had to come.

And I knew if I came this time, it would be the finish!

'Cause I'd never have the guts to go back and be forgiven again,

and that would break Evelyn's heart

because to her that would mean

I didn't love her anymore.

That last night I'd driven myself crazy trying to figure a way out for her.

I went into the bedroom.

I was going to tell her it was the end.

But I couldn't do that to her.

She was sound asleep.

And I thought, god, if only she'd never wake up, she'd never know.

And then it came to me...

The one possible way out, for her sake.

I remembered I'd given her a gun for protection while I was away.

It was in the bureau drawer.

She'd never feel any pain.

She'd never wake up from her dream.

So I...

So I killed her.

I may as well confess, Larry.

There's no use lying anymore.

You know anyway.

I didn't give a damn about the money.

It was because I hated her.

And then I saw that I'd always known that was the only possible way

to give her peace and free her from the misery of loving me.

I saw it meant peace for me, too, knowing she was at peace.

I felt as though a ton of guilt was lifted off my mind.

I remember I stood by the bed and suddenly I had to laugh.

I couldn't help it.

And I knew Evelyn would forgive me.

I remember I'd heard myself speaking to her,

as though it was something I'd always wanted to say.

"Well, you know what you can do with your pipe dream now,

you damned bitch!"

- No. I never... - Yes. Yes, that's it!

Her and that damned movement pipe dream! Huh, Larry?

No, that's a lie! Good god, I could have never said that!

If I had, I'd have gone insane!

Why, I loved Evelyn better than anything in life!

Boys, you're my old pals! You've known old hickey for years.

You know that I could never...

Harry!

Harry, you've known me longer than anybody else.

You know that I must have been insane, don't you, governor?

Who the hell cares?

Insane? You mean, you went really insane?

Yes! Or I couldn't have laughed!

I couldn't have said that to her!

That's enough, hickman. You know who we are. You're under arrest.

Come along and spill your guts where we can get it on...

You owe me a break!

I phoned and made it easy for you, didn't I? Just a few minutes!

Harry, you know I couldn't have said that to Evelyn, don't you? Unless...

And you've been crazy ever since?

Everything you've said and done here...

Now, governor, up to your old tricks, eh?

I see what you're driving at, but I c...

Yes, of course, Harry.

I've been out of my mind ever since. Ever since I've been here.

You saw I was insane, didn't you?

Can it! I've had enough of your act. Save it for the jury.

Now, listen, you guys. Don't fall for his lies.

He's starting to get foxy now and thinks he'll plead insanity.

But he can't get away with that.

B'jeez, you dumb dick.

We've known him for years,

and every one of us noticed he was nutty the minute he showed up here.

If you'd seen the damned fool things he made us do.

We only did them because we...

Because we hoped he'd come out of it if we kidded him along and humored him.

Ain't that right, fellas?

A fine bunch of rats!

Covering up for a dirty, cold-blooded murderer.

Is that so?

B'jeez, you know the old story.

When Saint Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland,

they swam to New York and joined the police force.

You stand up for your rights, b'jeez, hickey.

I've still got friends at the hall.

I'll have this guy back in uniform, pounding a beat

where the only graft he'll get will be stealing tin cans from the goats.

Listen, you cockeyed old bum, for a plugged nickel, I'd...

- Come on, you... - Oh, I want to go, officer.

I can hardly wait now. I should've phoned you from the house right afterwards.

It was a waste of time coming here.

I've gotta explain to Evelyn, but I know she's forgiven me.

She knows I was insane. You've got me all wrong, officer.

I want to go to the chair.

Crap!

God, you're a dumb dick.

Do you suppose I give a damn about life now?

Why, you bonehead.

I haven't got a single damned lying hope or pipe dream left.

Don't worry, hickey!

They can't give you the chair!

We'll testify you was crazy! Won't we, fellas?

Jesus, he's gone.

Poor crazy son of a bitch.

Well, b'jeez, I need a drink.

Maybe it'll have the old kick now he's gone.

Yeah, boss.

Maybe we can get drunk now.

May the chair bring him peace at last,

the poor tortured bastard.

Yes, but he isn't the only one who needs peace, Larry.

I can't feel sorry for him.

He's lucky.

He's through now. It's all decided for him.

I wish it was decided for me.

I've never been any good at deciding things,

even about selling out.

It was the tart that the detective agency got after me that put it in my mind.

You remember what mother's like, Larry.

She always decided what I must do. She made all the decisions for me.

She doesn't like anyone but herself to be free.

I suppose you think I ought to have made those dicks take me away with hickey.

How could I prove it, Larry? Huh?

They'd think I was nutty 'cause she's still alive.

You're the only one who can understand how guilty I am,

'cause you know her and what I've done to her.

You're the only one who can understand that I'm much guiltier than he is.

That what I did is much worse than murder because she's dead,

and yet she has to live.

For a little while.

She can't live long in jail.

She loves her freedom too much.

I can't kid myself like hickey...

That she's at peace.

As long as she lives,

she'll never be able to forget what I've done to her, not even in her sleep.

She'll never have a second's peace.

Jesus, Larry, say something.

I'm not bluffing either,

that I was crazy afterwards

when I laughed and thought to myself,

"you know what you can do with your freedom pipe dream now,

don't you, you damn old bitch?"

Gol

get the hell out of life, goddamn you,

before I choke it out of you!

Go on! Go up.

Thanks, Larry.

I can see now that it's the only possible way I can ever get free from her.

I guess I've known that all my life.

Oh.

It ought to give mother a little comfort too.

She'll finally be able to play the incorruptible mother of the revolution,

whose only child's a proletariat.

She'll be able to say, "justice is done, so may all traitors die!"

She'll be able to say...

"I'm glad he's dead!

Long live the revolution.”

You know her, Larry. She was always a ham.

Go, for the love of Christ, you mad, tortured bastard, for your own sake.

Thanks, Larry.

That's kind.

I knew you were the only one who could understand my side of it.

Hello, little Don, little monkey face.

Don't be a fool. Buy me a drink.

Sure, I will, Hugo.

Tomorrow, beneath the Willow trees.

Stupid fool.

Hickey make you crazy too.

I'm glad, Larry, they take that crazy hickey away to asylum.

He makes me have bad dreams.

He makes me tell lies about myself.

He makes me want to spit on all I've ever dreamed.

Yes, I'm glad they take him to asylum!

I don't feel I'm dying now.

He was selling death to me, that crazy salesman.

I think I have a drink now, Larry.

B'jeez, fellas. I'm feeling the old kick, or I'm a liar.

It's putting life back in me.

It was hickey that kept it from...

B'jeez, I know that sounds crazy, but he was crazy,

and he'd got all of us as bughouse as he was.

Dangerous too.

Look at me pretending to start for a walk just to keep him quiet.

I knew damned well it wasn't the right day for it.

The sun was broiling and the streets full of automobiles.

Aye, I could feel myself getting sunstroke,

and an automobile damn near ran over me.

Didn't it, rocky? He was watching. Ask rocky. Didn't it?

The automobile, boss? Sure, I seen it.

Just missed you.

I thought you was a goner.

On the word of an honest bartender.

You're a bartender, all right.

No one can say different.

But, b'jeez, don't pull that honest junk.

You and Chuck ought to have cards in the burglars' union.

B'jeez, it's good to hear someone laugh again.

All the time that bas... That poor old hickey was here,

I didn't have the heart.

B'jeez, I'm getting drunk and glad of it.

Come on, fellas. It's on the house.

Cheers.

Ah. Poor old hickey.

We mustn't hold him responsible for anything he's done.

Yeah. Nah.

We'll remember him the way we've always known him before...

The kindest, biggest-hearted guy that ever wore shoe leather.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

- The best. - Fine chap. Fine chap.

Good luck to him in matteawan! Come on. Bottoms up.

Christ.

Why don't he...

Why don't he what?

Ah, don't be a fool. Hickey's gone.

He was crazy.

Have a drink.

What's the matter with you, Larry?

You look funny.

What you listen for out in backyard?

Well, I thank god now that me and Chuck did all we could to humor the poor nut.

Imagine us goin' off like we really meant to get married,

when we ain't even picked out the farm yet.

Sure thing, baby. We kidded him we was serious.

I may as well say now I detected his condition almost at once.

Yeah?

All that talk of his about tomorrow, for example.

He had the fixed idea of the insane.

It only makes them worse to cross them.

Same with me, Jimmy. Only I spent the day in the park.

I wasn't such a damned fool as to...

Picture my predicament if I had gone to the consulate.

The pal of mine there is a bit of a humorous blighter.

He'd have gotten me a job out of pure spite.

So I strolled about and finally came to roost in the park.

And lo and behold, who should be on the neighboring bench

but my battlefield companion,

the boer that walks like a man.

Who, if the British government had taken my advice,

would have been removed from his fetid kraal in the veldt

straight to the baboon's cage in the London zoo.

And little children would now be asking their nurses,

"tell me, Nana, is that the boer general,

the one with the blue behind?"

No offense meant, piet, old chap.

No offense taken,

you damned limey.

About the job. I felt the same as you, Cecil.

What's the matter, Larry?

You look scared.

What are you listening for out there?

No, sir.

I wasn't fool enough to get in no crap game,

not while hickey's around.

Them crazy people put a jinx on you.

It wasn't no good for me trying to explain to a crazy guy

but it ain't the right time.

Hey!

You know how getting reinstated is.

B'jeez, I'm cockeyed.

B'jeez, you're all cockeyed.

And b'jeez, we're all all right!

Let's have another.

What's the matter, Larry?

Why you keep eyes shut?

You look dead!

What you listen for in backyard?

You crazy fool! You give me bad dreams too!

Hello there, Hugo!

Welcome to the party!

Yes, b'jeez, Hugo. Sit down.

Have a drink! Have ten drinks, b'jeez!

Hello, little Harry!

Hello, nice, funny, little monkey faces.

Goddamned stupid bourgeois!

Soon comes the day of judgment!

Give me ten drinks, Harry. Don't be a fool!

Gangway for two good whores.

Yeah. And we want a drink, quick.

Yeah, yeah. Shake the lead outta your pants, you pimp!

We want a little service, huh?

Well, look who's here.

Hello there, sweethearts.

Jeez, I was beginning to worry about you, honest.

Yeah? What kind of gag is this?

Come on and join the party, you broads.

B'jeez, I'm glad to see you.

- Hey, what's... what's come off here? - Where's that louse hickey?

Ah, the cops got 'im.

He's gone crazy and croaked his wife.

Jeez.

So forget about that whore stuff.

I'll knock the block off anyone calls you whores.

- Ha-ha-ha! - You're tarts, and what the hell of it?

You're as good as anyone.

So forget it, see.

That's our little bartender, ain't he, Pearl?

Yeah, and a cute little Guinea at that.

And is he stinkol!

Stinko is right.

- But he ain't got nothin' on us. - No!

Jeez, rocky, did we have a good time at coney.

B'jeez, sit down, you dumb whores!

Welcome home. Have a drink. Have ten drinks, b'jeez.

B'jeez, this is all right.

We'll make this my birthday party and forget the other.

But who's missing? Where's the old wise guy? Where's Larry?

Oh, over by the window, boss.

He's got his eyes shut. The old bastard's asleep.

Aw, to hell with him. Let's have a drink.

It's the only way out for him.

For the peace of all concerned, as hickey said.

Goddamn his yellow soul.

If he doesn't soon, I'll go up and throw him off.

Like a dog with its guts ripped out that you'd put out of his misery.

What the hell was that? What the hell was that?

Something fell off the fire escape.

A mattress, I'll bet.

Some of these bums have been sleepin' on the fire escapes.

They... they've got to cut it out.

B'jeez, this... This ain't no fresh air cure.

Mattresses cost money.

Poor devil.

God rest his soul in peace.

I'll never be a success in the grandstand or anywhere else.

Life is too much for me.

I'll be a weak fool looking with pity at the two sides of everything

till the day I die,

and may that day come soon.

I'm the only real convert to death that hickey made here.

From the bottom of my coward's heart, I mean that now.

Hey there, Larry!

Come on over and get paralyzed.

What the hell you doing, sittin' here?

B'jeez, let's sing. Let's celebrate!

B'jeez, it's my birthday party.

B'jeez, I'm orey-eyed!

I want to sing.

♪ Every Sunday ♪

♪ down to her home we go ♪

♪ all the boys and all the girls ♪

♪ They love her so ♪

♪ Always jolly ♪

♪ heart that is true, I know ♪

♪ she is the sunshine of paradise alley ♪

♪ by yon Bonnie banks and by yon Bonnie braes ♪

♪ Where the sun shines bright on loch lomond ♪

♪ Where me and my true love will never meet again ♪

♪ on the Bonnie, Bonnie banks of loch lomond ♪

♪ You'll take the high road and I'll take the low road ♪

♪ and I'll be in Scotland afore ye ♪

♪ But me and my true love will never meet again ♪

♪ on the Bonnie, Bonnie banks of loch lomond ♪

♪ Dansons le carmagnole vive le son, vive le son ♪

♪ Dansons la carmagnole vive le son des canons ♪

the days grow hot, O Babylon!

Cool beneath thy Willow trees!