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Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull

Every journalist is searching for that one story.

The one that defines them, the one that actually makes a difference.

This is my story, and like most of the good ones,

it's not the one I set out to tell.

So we're here outside of Lil Soundcloud's place in Atlanta, Georgia.

He bought the house across the street from his mother's, bulldozed it

and turned it into the biggest house on the street.

I'm really just here to figure out what's going on with the allegations against him,

and I'm starting to think it won't happen.

Hey, I'm Brian,

we DM'd on Instagram?

I was the guy who reviewed your very first mixtape.

Hey, what's going on? I'm with Compound.

- We're here to do the interview. - Oh, yeah, SoundCloud.

Okay. Yeah. That's... He's not available at the moment.

He's not?

Yeah, let me close the door and talk to you.

You can't talk about arrests, you can't talk about his charges.

He's canceling?

He's a platinum recording artist.

He cancels on God. You're the fifth one he's canceled on today.

All right.

You shouldn't worry about it, man. It's hard to get sit-down

interviews with rappers anyway, dude.

Hey, hey, uh, you know, it's... it's...

it's been a crazy couple of months for you.

It's weird. It just seems like everyone has a take on this except for you.

I think it's fucked up that people

would judge something that they don't know anything about.

Your fans don't know anything either, which is weird because

I feel like they made you.

Look, man, just give me five minutes.

You have to give someone a chance to tell your story.

It's not gonna happen, man.

- Forget it. - It's not gonna happen, man.

Hey, hey, bro, come on.

He wants to talk.

And that was it, my first exclusive.

Hello?

Hey, guys?

And soon after,

I became a featured correspondent.

We're here on the war-torn Crimean Peninsula,

rebels and nationalists are engaged in conflict

literally two blocks from us at this very moment.

Compound sent us down here for one reason

and one reason alone.

And that's to discover

what the craft beer scene in Ukraine is all about.

Sure. It was clickbait.

But I was great at it.

So you've chosen to leave society

and become homeless.

No, no, it's called urban camping.

It's kind of like the tiny house movement except...

Yeah, but it's like so much more sustainable.

- Way more sustainable. - Yeah.

And I covered any story they sent me on.

We're in the heart of Williamsburg. And today,

I'm going to be learning how to make artisanal antibiotics.

This wasn't journalism as I'd imagined it,

but I was new and making a name for myself.

Well, each of these pills is handcrafted,

so they're different sizes.

It's their flaws that make them beautiful.

But how many times could I spin a story out of nothing?

So you are the world's first CBD oil...

Cryptocurrency.

So, it's a CBD oil cryptocurrency.

Hey, Brian, Brian.

Yeah, and like we don't really like need much more than this.

Like we have, like, each other.

- Yeah. Yeah. - And drugs and like...

Brian, come back.

Hey, Brian, this is an active war zone.

Man, I hate learning shit.

I was stuck and my career was going nowhere.

In recent years, a controversial new figure

has emerged in the South Appalachian Foothills.

Bigfoot.

And whether or not you believe the creature exists,

what's undeniable is the impact it has on local culture.

This week, I'll be joining local Bigfoot enthusiasts

to examine the evidence, explore recent sightings

and find out about the Bigfoot community.

Because this is news.

That's Zach, my producer.

We've worked together for years and he runs the camera,

even when I don't want him to.

what's going on, dude?

You ready to do this?

- Yeah, are you? - Yeah.

I got you a coffee.

Are you excited for the Bigfoot story?

Oh hell no.

Then why are you in such a good mood?

All right. Don't tell anyone this,

but I think Shane's considering me for a broadcast position.

- Wait, really? - Yeah.

I mean, they've been developing that,

like, investigative show for a while.

And now that Celeste is gone...

- Dude, do you think? - Yeah.

I mean, nobody puts out the level of content

that we do, even with the garbage leads they send us on.

Dude, that would be awesome.

Do you remember how much we used to love working here?

And now I'm just so glad to be moving on to something else.

- Can I ask you something? - What?

What do you think about calling the show Uncovered with Brian Emond?

Oh hell yeah, that would be sick.

Dude, if we got to go do a broadcast show together, it'd be awesome.

- I mean we would be still. - Yeah. Yes.

I... they have, like, broadcast producers,

but I'd be able to get you over there eventually.

- Oh. - I would, I'm going to work to get you over there.

Of course.

Oh, that's our ride.

Wait, Brian, dude.

- Don't ditch me. - What?

Zach was in his own head again.

I wasn't ditching anybody,

and even if I had ditched him, I wouldn't have noticed.

By the way, this is all of our schedule,

itinerary, background research, everything that we're going to need.

Cool.

Hey, are we waiting on someone?

- We're taking more people to the airport. - Who?

Some dirty money man or something?

I don't know. It's three or four people.

Oh, shit.

Oh, yeah, we in my hometown Brooklyn, New York,

and this week we trading the Big Apple

for the birthplace of poutine.

That's right. We going to Canada, baby, on...

What up? It's your boy Dirty Dolla $ign$.

And I got the whole crew with me.

We got MC Slip-Slap, Rawdog Nintendo

and of course, White Morpheus.

And oh s###, we got ourselves a special guest.

- It's Compound's Brian Emond. - Hey.

Just on my way to the airport.

Us too. But of course

not before we get a little something-something

- on the way. - What? No.

See, this is how we do it.

Stick the McChicken inside a McChicken.

That's Brooklyn style, baby.

You got to try this, my man, I don't know if I want to be on the show.

I don't think you want to be on your show either.

What? what... why would you say that?

I can tell, we watch Compound every day.

- You definitely slipping. - And you know what else I noticed?

- What? - We forgot fries.

Oh, man. So salty.

- This tastes like a... - in the summertime late in the day.

Acting like some yard work or something, you know.

- But Brian as a guest in this segment... - I'm not the guest.

...I need to know, you, me, we both prolific journalists, you know.

- Technically. - What do you look for in a story?

Well, I guess I try to find something unconventional

- and then see if it's worthy of... - Dope.

That's... that's dope.

You know what I'm looking for?

A... crack after some yard work?

Yes. Always, my man.

- Yeah. - And that makes for a good story?

Oh right, stories.

That's simple, my man.

I get in the s### deep.

You know, people in this industry,

they think they always know what the story is.

But truthfully, sometimes the real story is right in front of you.

That's pretty insightful.

Yeah, and if you got a good guest, all you got to do

- is be genuinely interested in the topic at hand. - Totally.

Like one time I was interviewing the Mayor of New York and...

And that's sometimes the cards that you dealt, you know.

For example, take me, I have to interview the Mayor of Canada,

- Justin Trudeau. - Well, he's not a mayor.

- He's a prime minister. - Right, but they on the metric system,

so it's basically like a mayor.

No, it's basically like a president.

- Oh, s###, really? - Oh, shit.

Wait, hold on, I thought you did, like, a show about food and weed,

why are you interviewing someone like that?

Oh, this is for my new show.

Yeah, Shane got me doing some new documentary series.

He want me getting into some investigative journalism.

Wait so, you got the broadcast spot?

Yeah, he said I was the obvious choice.

They said I need a show that gets in the s###.

But you know what I need? I need.

I need...

Oh God.

Okay. All right, excuse me, excuse me.

Wait, wait.

I thought you needed a ride to the airport.

No, we're good. We'll just, uh...

just walk.

So they gave my dream job to some stoner moron...

I told you to stop rolling.

...and left me with Bigfoot.

So we're here in Georgia at the largest Bigfoot convention in the Southeast.

It's taking place on...

Smiling?

I'm not... I'm not pissed off. I'm very serious.

Like, I'm... I'm grave.

No.

So, we're here in Georgia where there's already been

1,000 opioid related deaths

this year alone, which is actually true.

It's actually such a problem that criminal organizations are moving into town and setting up

shop just to supply drug addict communities, right?

That's interesting.

That's interesting stuff.

But not as interesting as Bigfoot.

We're in Georgia, the largest Bigfoot convention in the Southeast.

We're going to go around, ask some locals what they have to say

about the big man himself.

Okay, we got it.

Okay. We'll do drone shots or something.

I don't care.

It was a festival, tents, people and a terrible band.

While I could be in Yemen reporting on how humanity can be found

in the darkest of places, I'd much rather be here,

shopping for novelty t-shirts. And while it was truly a blast,

my producer demanded we follow his itinerary

and meet a self-proclaimed master of camouflage.

Oh! Oh! Oh!

What is that?

That is my secret.

See, what I do is I use the urine

to mask my scent. It's pretty subtle.

You think so?

See, we smell too good,

and that's why no one's ever found him yet.

Okay, so you, like, spray it all over yourself.

So, has that worked for you?

Hell yeah, it works for me. I love it.

No, I mean, have you found Bigfoot?

No.

This was shaping up to be a thrilling story.

- Next we talk to the cops. - A bunch of crap.

Okay, locals just believe that shit because of the internet.

Look, it's just a bunch of bears.

Then where are the bear attacks happening?

Okay. I'm going to tell you the same thing I told the last reporter.

Okay, the only stories we have is of hikers getting too close to wildlife.

Okay. So if you go in those woods, you stay on those trails, you hear me?

A lot of private property up there,

people start getting in trouble when they lose their way.

- Wait, what does that mean? - Ten-Four officer en route.

Means watch out for bears on your own.

Woods aren't my precinct.

Cool, it's bears.

We flew out from Brooklyn to cover bears.

But things were about to get lit.

Just 45 minutes outside of town

was a one-man Bigfoot hunting Army.

Jeff Stevenson is a living legend in the Bigfoot community.

Jeff rose to prominence in 2014 after documenting one of the most controversial,

paranormal sightings of our time.

Known as the Blue Ridge tape.

The video shows a shadowy figure moving through the trees

at night, but what's most notable about the incident

is what happened the next day when Jeff returned to the site

and found what he claims as evidence that Bigfoot is using tools.

Y'all, welcome to the Cryptic Castle.

- How's it going? - Good.

Wait a second. Aren't you guys the ones

who made the little SoundCloud piece?

Yeah.

Yeah, you know about our hip-hop documentaries.

Oh hell yeah.

Oh man, all that slow-mo hip-hop,

trap king, everybody's vaping. It's my shit.

It was a look I'd seen before. GameStop Indiana Jones,

the brown jacket, the leather hat, the magnetic cellphone holster.

Of all the people we met, Jeff somehow seemed like the biggest waste of my time.

So I'll show you around a little bit.

We've got the mega futon right here.

Um, this is actually my ex's idea to get this.

She said she needed some more space.

I think what she really wanted was just a space that didn't have me in it,

which is why she moved two counties over.

- Anyways, what was your question? - I hadn't asked one.

Okay, let's go. Here you can see

some of the samples we've collected out in the field.

We do most of the testing here in our own lab,

but sometimes we send them away for further research.

It's what happens when you get too close to the truth.

Uh, right here, you've got some of my better photos of the Bigfoot.

Some of them taken by my crew, a lot of the better ones taken by yours truly.

Now, where is Bigfoot in these photos?

Oh, well, in this one, he's right there.

- Right where? - Right there.

You got to squint and get back in there but he's right there.

Okay.

Oh, this is a great photo.

I actually won the lasso competition in Raven County

- in 2006, I think. - What's this one?

Oh, that's, um...

that was of me and my ex.

Uh, it's... it's pretty complicated.

She, uh...

she doesn't want to be with me.

But like I... I very much want to be with her.

So, like I said, complicated, but y'all...

y'all don't need to know about that. I'm... I'm sorry, I didn't...

mean to make it weird.

It's not.

- Let's move on. Move on. - Okay.

And this right here is what I like to call our display model cast.

We've done a lot more but that's the one in the best condition.

- What about this? - That's actually the crown jewel of my Bigfoot collection,

if you will. That's why I have it twined up, to wear on

- expeditions for good luck. - Okay.

So for many non-believers, they submit that

these chance encounters are actually a result of bear attacks.

It's completely natural for people to question something

they don't fully understand. The general public has done it

throughout scientific history.

But Bigfoot is the next step in human evolution.

And if evolution has taught us anything,

it's that life will not be contained, life breaks free.

It expands through territories, it crashes through barriers

painfully or maybe even dangerously,

but, well, there it is,

- life finds a way. - Life finds a way.

From Jurassic Park.

No, I just...

I just made that up.

This is our little staging area,

as you can see we use topographical maps,

we... we go so far off trail, we can't use any sort of conventional map.

Um, I'm really sorry about the mess.

My cousin Sid is crashing with me right now, his, uh, old lady kicked him out.

So he's here to take over the family business.

- Oh, Sid! - Come on. Come on, boy.

- Sid, Sid. - Get down.

No, Sid, Sid.

What the fuck? Sid!

- Sid, hey! - As I watched two full grown men wrestle

each other to the floor, I began to wonder...

...was it too late to go back to school?

Sid...

Sid?

Okay, so I think he passed out,

so let's just continue the tour.

But very quietly.

You know, I am really glad y'all boys came out.

I don't get visitors much. Well, here she is.

I know she looks kind of small but she'll fit the two of you

- real comfortably. - Fit us for what?

This is your tent.

For the field expedition tonight.

- The what? - The field expedition?

- It was on the itinerary. - What itinerary?

Remember, I gave you itinerary back in Brooklyn?

Jeff, would you give us a moment?

Yeah, absolutely. No problem.

Did Shane approve this?

Yeah, dude. Remember, I told you about this.

Okay, so we just got some rando though. Like, who the hell is this guy?

- You don't know who the Cryptic Commander is? - The what?

What is up, YouTube?

Welcome back to another episode of Paranormal Pursuits.

It's your boy, the Cryptic Commander.

Now, I know what you all are thinking,

"Cryptic Commander, did you finally domesticate

the Jersey Devil, and find out that it's lactation

is a good source of protein?"

Nah, but that would be hella tight.

And besides, I don't need anymore protein,

I get all that I need from Alpha Snacks.

And again, a bullshit assignment.

Shane. Hey, what's up? What's going on?

I was looking over the itinerary,

and I think there's been a little bit of a mistake.

It says that we're staying with the subject.

Okay. Yeah. Just typically we do a hotel for something like this.

I get that, and I'm not trying to be a diva here or anything,

but I just usually need a little bit of space

to spread out my notes and write.

Okay, so you want me to... Shane?

Shane! Shane, come...

I heard the cops gave you a hard time.

No. No, it was okay.

Oh that's how they fucking act, make you feel like it's okay.

They don't got no respect for anybody.

Yeah.

Yeah. My old lady told me that she was

sick of me, she kicked me out.

I got one too many Dewey's.

I still remember that cop look on his face.

He wrote me a ticket.

Man, if I had a chance, I'd take a swing at that cop.

Yep, I fucking hit any cop I could, man.

I'll kill him.

Okay.

Yeah, you all right.

You all right, boy, you want something to drink?

No, I'm... I'm good, dude.

I'll get you a beer, I'll get myself one too.

Fuck, I don't get any reception out here.

What's going on?

I'm done.

I'm done with this fucking story.

But our flight isn't for three more days.

Which is why I'm gonna buy one for tonight.

What's the problem?

The problem is they sent us out here to do a story

with a Bigfoot whisperer and his drunk fucking cousin.

They sent us out to Georgia to do another non-story.

Man, what the fuck has been up with you lately?

- What? - We're supposed to be partners on this, okay.

This is my fucking job, Brian.

You're supposed to be the host and I'm the producer,

and you are just not giving a fuck about this.

You're just going to ditch me like you always do.

Tensions were high and the story was trash,

but that wasn't a good reason to piss off my producer.

Hey!

I'm sorry about earlier.

I don't mean to get mad like that

and I recognize that I'm not the only one working on something like this.

You know, it's too late to go back to the city anyways, so...

I'll stay tonight.

Really? You'll take this seriously.

Yeah, on one condition.

What?

I'm sleeping indoors.

And look at this, technically it's indoors.

- Huh? - You boys sure you want to put

your tent right on this path?

I mean you are basically asking

for unwanted animal attention later tonight.

So, we should smash ours up in the trees like that?

Oh, heck yeah. That's the safest place to crash, Scout's honor.

Uh...

I think we'll take our chances out here.

All right, suit yourself.

Where's he going?

I was starting to lose what little hope I had this trip

was worth our time.

But that night something happened.

- Brian, are you awake? - Sh.

Brian...

What are you doing?

I think there's something out there.

The woods, Brian, things make noise.

Yeah, but it's... it's like it's a person walking.

Keep... keep the light out of here.

- Dude, what the fuck was that? - That's what I'm talking about.

Dude, give me the camera.

Do you think it's still out there?

I don't know.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, turn the light off.

Dude.

Did you see that?

Yeah, dude, that was...

Ah, shit, the battery.

Did you see that?

Yeah.

Here, give me the camera.

Something is watching us.

What?

Shit, the battery, it's the battery, here, give it to me,

- give it to me. - Why don't you ever have

- any extra batteries on hand? - I can't see anyth...

Okay, new battery, let's do this.

Dude, he's not in here. I don't know... Jeff!

I guess someone has trashed our campsite.

The attack kept us up all night, we heard noises for hours.

And even though we could hear a creature moving towards us through the camp,

like so many Bigfoot hunters before us, we fail to capture any substantial evidence.

Holy shit.

What? What? Let's go check this out.

Okay, so whatever it was, it was big enough to crack a skillet in half.

So our campsite has been trashed, and last night my producer and I

heard someone or something outside of our tent

going through the campsite. And whatever it was,

it was large enough... to do this.

Uh, it's pretty scary stuff.

Guess you could say we're grateful to have... whoa!

- Good morning, everybody. - Where were you?

Oh, well, I checked on y'all on your tent earlier and you were still asleep.

So I just went for a morning hike.

You left us after all that happened?

Well, yeah. I knew I was coming back.

- Dude, I was calling out your name, man. - Look...

- I was taking a shit. - With the camcorder.

Yeah.

So, here we are in the North Georgia mountains

hunting the Sasquatch himself.

And I already know what you're thinking.

"But Jeff, you always hunt down the spookiest apparitions

that the government doesn't want us to know about."

Duh! Yeah?

Well, this episode's a little bit different

'cause your boy, Jeff Boyardee,

is going to be the subject of a Compound documentary.

Good on me!

Jeff, where are you?

He wasn't perfect. But whatever we saw,

he was the only person who could help us find it.

Jeff, we need you to show us more of what we heard last night.

Really? Because I thought I was just a Sasquatch whisperer with a drunk fucking cousin.

We heard something for sure.

I don't know if I believe everything I've heard you say, but this is something,

and we need to use this documentary to get to the bottom of it.

And the only way to do that is by telling...

your story.

Really?

My story? Like Lil SoundCloud.

Yeah.

Welcome to North Georgia. Two hours outside of the nearest city,

We're located in the dense forests of the Appalachian Foothills.

If Atlanta is where the players play,

then this is where the players do meth.

And Jeffrey Stephenson is its trap King.

A full-time Bigfoot investigator and cryptozoologist,

Jeff has written five books about paranormal research.

Three of which have been dedicated solely to Bigfoot field work

and Sasquatch law, and he's even a featured contributor

on several paranormal news shows.

But today he's here to give me the lowdown on Bigfoot.

I mean, I've been writing and researching

Bigfoot for about almost 20 years now.

I led my first Bigfoot expedition when I was nine

as a part of the Webelo Scouts.

In that time, I've managed to write some pretty successful books.

And that is of course...

before my marriage to Jen fell apart, and you know, we lost the deposits

- on, like, the caterer and the vendors and... - Whoa, whoa, stop, stop.

It's fine. Just like, let's talk about Bigfoot.

All right, so the trick to a good Bigfoot call is you really want to get it

down deep in your guts from your diaphragm.

What we have is a piece of authentic Bigfoot fur.

You can tell because of the coloring and the markings.

You know, a lot of Bigfoot hunters kind of hate this job

'cause all you're doing is picking up little pieces,

but I mean, I'm really good at picking up pieces,

you know, it's pretty similar when I had to pick up all the pieces

of my life after Jen left.

Well, knocking's a lot like a dolphin echolocation.

And it's also our greatest indication that the Bigfoot uses tools.

It might say, "Hey...

...I'm in this area."

Or it could even be like three Bigfoot hunters.

Some notes, you do sound a little bit more like a lady Bigfoot.

Imagine from deep down in your nether loins.

Feel free to ask me any questions. I'm an open book.

Do you think that your obsession with Bigfoot tore apart your relationship?

Shh...

Do you hear that?

- No. - I don't.

- There's nothing, I'm sorry. Let's keep moving. - Okay.

You know, all these other Bigfoot hunters.

They're just out here to make money, man.

You know, they came out here and they collected their Bigfoot tracks,

before they knew what they had, they had printed it,

packaged it and slapped it on the side

of a lunch box, and now they're selling it.

They're selling it. And they were so preoccupied

with whether or not they could, they never...

stopped to think if they should.

- Jurassic Park. - Oh.

No, remember, I told you I've never seen that movie.

- Do you carry a firearm? - No, never.

Never. I would never carry any type of weapon

or... or any sort of thing like that.

But especially not a gun. Bigfeet hate guns.

So you'd say Bigfoot is anti-gun.

Well, you know, don't go putting words in my mouth.

The Squatch respects the Second Amendment.

He just would never own a gun personally.

This is probably one of my favorite devices.

This is a personal water filtration system.

I mean, you can filter anything with that.

I've even filtered and drank pee with it before.

- Drank pee with it? - Yeah.

- With this one? - Well, yeah, I don't need two water filters.

- All right, that's good. We'll move on. - Okay.

Does everyone out here drink piss?

- What was your question again? - Oh, I was going to ask, do you think that

- the cause of your relationship... - Hold on. Hold on. Hold on.

You hear that, right?

- No. - Okay. Okay.

Let's keep moving. what's funny is a lot of people get lost out here

when they try to stay on the trail.

That's why I'm happy I'm an Eagle Scout, I really never get lost.

Oh my god. You're an Eagle Scout.

Yeah, like, haven't I told you guys like five times?

How would one communicate with its family if it was, say,

- a domestic matter? - Oh, okay, um...

It sounded a lot like three hunters.

Well, I mean, who's the cryptozoologist here?

This is a glyph.

- What is? - This.

- This? - Yeah, the... this

and that and the that. A glyph is a way that

a Bigfoot communicates with other Bigfoots.

So you think that this pile of sticks that potentially could have fallen here...

- Yeah. - ...is Bigfoots speaking to each other?

- Yeah. This is a glyph. - Our guide was a nice guy...

Okay, that's crazy 'cause I'm seeing another one right there.

...but it was getting hard not to call out his bullshit.

Do you want to hear knocking for shut the fuck up?

So your relationship, it was probably torn apart...

Shut up!

Because I'm pretty sure...

we're in the path of a Bigfoot right now and we don't want to disturb it.

While Jeff showed us some pretty cool tricks of the trade,

we hadn't seen anything that explained what had happened the night before.

And even though the sun was setting,

our guide insisted on taking us to a lake

that he had discovered.

Look. It's just so cool

and so beautiful, and I know you guys are going to love it.

I promise, we're really close.

Cool being a relative term here.

So I wasn't holding my breath.

But just as our guide left sight, the unexpected happened.

Are you... do you see that?

Come here. You got this, right?

And there it was. Undeniable evidence

that we were in Bigfoot's backyard.

I've seen a lot in my time as a journalist, but nothing as unexpected as this.

This morning I had my doubts, but now things were different.

I held in my hands, Bigfoot's DNA.

This could be the sample we needed to prove

that religion is wrong...

- Bryan, what are you doing? - ...that we evol...

- Collecting some evidence. - That's not evidence.

That's my shit from this morning.

This isn't Bigfoot scat?

No, absolutely not. Brian, look.

There's my toilet paper right there.

To say it had been a long day was an understatement.

Well, I'm gonna need another pencil.

And we were losing light fast.

So Jeff's lake would have to wait.

So I know your instinct is to camp right here

in this clearing, but to avoid another situation like last night,

why don't y'all go ahead and shove that tent right in those vines.

Jeff had gone to sleep which finally gave my producer and I

a chance to catch up.

How do you think today went?

Went okay. Got some pretty good footage.

I cannot get a read on this.

This guy though. I mean, like, is he mad that someone caught him in a lie

or is he mad that no one believes him...

I don't know. It's just too much.

"Uh, are you guys aware that this is actually the spot where Bigfoot

first became an Eagle Scout."

If you make fun of Bigfoot again, I'm going to tell Jeff's fiance.

Hey, I'm sorry I was such a prick yesterday.

It's okay.

I... I get it.

If anyone deserves to work in broadcast...

it's you.

You do all the work, you put everything together,

and I didn't even read the itinerary.

Thanks.

I guess I just had this idea of the sort of work that we should be doing,

and I think we deserve it.

But maybe it's, like, on me, because I'm building up

this idea of some sort of grand investigator.

Like I think I'm going to be Carl Bernstein or something.

I just, I know I'd do anything to be given a shot

at a real story.

And when I see other people getting that shot, it just...

It just feels like we're never going to make it.

Well... why don't we just get over it?

I mean who gives a shit, we work at a big New York media company

that just made a rapper their prime time anchor, so maybe we don't know

what the fuck they want.

Maybe we should just be happy.

I mean, like, it is kind of fun, a little bit.

I mean, how many reporters from The Guardian get to go out into the woods in Georgia

and follow around an Eagle Scout Bigfoot weirdo for a week?

And it could be a lot worse.

I could be doing this alone.

So I'm glad you're out here with me.

Me too.

Hey, guys.

I'm also glad you're out here with me.

I'm gonna go to bed.

Day three with my producer,

who, like I said, rolls on everything.

Oh shit, man. Got to get some B-roll of me waking up.

Hold on, let me focus it. Hold on.

Yeah, man.

Got to make sure this looks good.

Get some sweet B-roll of me checking my texts.

Awesome, no reception.

His tent's empty. Looks like we're on our own again.

- Maybe he's up the trail. - Yeah, probably taking another shit for me to find.

Oh, here he is.

Jeff, it's that lake you were talking about.

Yeah, see, I told you all I wasn't lost.

Wow.

- This is really beautiful. - It is, isn't it.

Wow.

So, um, most of the lakes in Georgia are man-made reservoirs,

but this is actually one of the natural ones.

- Seriously? - Yeah.

A lot of people don't know this, but over time,

a lot of lakes just disappear.

You know, part of it's because of global warming

but for the most part it's just the natural order of things.

It's why when I come out and look out over something like this,

I just want to breathe it all in because, potentially,

I could be the last person to see it.

- You know, one time back in the Boy Scouts we were... - Jeff...

you know...

this is... this is a pretty chill life you lead.

You live in a beautiful place, you hike for a living,

you write books.

I mean, it's not glamorous but...

you got a cool life.

Thanks.

You know, when I'm out by the water like this,

I just feel so much more calm.

And that, like, I'm making all the right decisions in life

and that this Bigfoot hunting obsession

isn't just going to be a waste of my time.

That video I took years ago, it turned me from a nobody to a somebody,

but it completely ruined my relationship with Jennie.

She just couldn't understand how a grown man wanted to spend all his time

in the woods hunting for a Sasquatch.

She said it was strange and she said that I was a loser,

and then her mom called me a loser too,

and then eventually my mom joined their side as well.

Sure, I'm a single guy

living in a bachelor pad with my semi violent, drunk cousin,

but it's all worth it.

It's all worth it because Bigfoot is real and you guys are making this documentary

about me, and I'm not a loser.

Fuck you, Mom.

At least that's what I think about when I look at a sunrise.

How about you?

Well, gonna go pack.

Do you think he realizes how much he puts on people?

Jeff was just being honest,

which was something I hadn't done with my producer, Zach.

What? Job offer?

PBS?

Was it my phone? Oh, shit, reception!

Look at what this piece of shit sent us.

Hey, do you think they got together and he, like, ate out Justin Trudeau's asshole?

And my battery is dead. Awesome.

Just enough to get a photo from that piece of shit.

If y'all need to make a phone call, I got reception.

- No, we're good. - All right.

So, we're out in the woods, day two, North Georgia Foothills.

We've seen some pretty interesting stuff.

Our guide has decided to take us to a spa...

Hey, Jeff. You're in the shot, Jeff.

You're in the shot.

- Sorry. - It's all good.

- Am I clear? - Yeah.

So, we're out here in the woods, day two, North Georgia.

We haven't seen Bigfoot, but we have seen some things here that are somewhat...

Jeff, Jeff.

Oh my gosh, are you guys still filming?

I'm sorry. I'll just... I'll just get behind the camera.

Okay.

So we're out here in the woods, day two, North Georgia.

- We're not seeing Bigfoot but... - Hey, Zach, will you cut for just a second.

Brian, something's got to be done about your hair. You just look crazy.

Let me just get that real quick.

There you go, much better.

- So we're out in the woods day two... - And action.

So, we're in the fucking Woods. Cut.

While our first day had been fun,

we were beginning to wonder if our guide was reliable.

Jeff, are we going the right way?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, it should just be...

this way? Yeah, it's this way.

Does he know which way he's going?

I mean, he knew how to get to the lake.

Whatever. This is good footage. Just keep rolling.

While I thought we were headed in the right direction,

I was about to find out how lost we really were.

And while I was looking for a figurative sign,

I didn't expect to find a literal one.

What's that?

Jeff, what's that?

This... this isn't right.

Okay. So do we double back to the trail that we were on earlier?

No. No, no, no, no. The direction is right,

the compass has been pointing north all day.

Wait. Have you been holding your compass like that the entire time?

Yeah.

It's right next to your magnetic belt clip.

- No wonder it always says north, dumbass. - Shit.

- You seriously didn't realize that? - Brian, I...

Typically, situations like this would cause other people to panic.

But as an experienced reporter, I know how to keep a level head.

All the situation required was some patience and some planning.

- ...Brian. - What trail are we on?

It's probably not listed.

- It's a map from a hotel lobby! - I don't care!

Tell me what trail we're on or we are going to stay lost up here forever.

Your compass clearly doesn't fucking work.

- Neither does your Eagle... - Hey, guys...

What's that thing up in the brush there?

- What? What's what? - There's something up there.

But no amount of planning could have prepared us for what came next.

After a day and a half in the woods

with our incompetent guide,

my producer and I thought we were going home empty-handed.

Now, we'd stumbled upon something bigger than we'd ever anticipated,

and there was no going back.

Holy shit.

Do you think this is one of those, like, bear attacks?

You think a bear is capable of this?

Dude... what, you think it's Bigfoot?

He's got a gun, it's just like Jeff said.

Yeah, he does have a gun. Brian, sto... stop getting so close to it.

When we set out this morning, none of us could've predicted a dead body.

And based on the lack of decomposition here,

looks like whatever happened just occurred.

And just by chance, we have...

Oh. Oh, God!

Oh my god.

- Are you okay? - I'm fine.

I'm fine.

This body could've been out here for days,

and if we hadn't stumbled across it,

who knows how long it would have been...

Oh, god, dude. Jeff!

Oh, I'm not fine. I'm not fine.

Oh, no.

Brian, I... I can't be near this thing, man.

- Whoa, whoa, keep rolling on this. - Dude,

I can't be near this, dude.

It's a body, man.

You have us in the woods with a body, man.

Okay, but you remember what we heard, right?

The other night? Whatever that was,

clearly we are hot on its trail.

We have to call the cops, man.

W... why? What difference would that make?

We're two days out of town right now.

And besides, do you think you're the first camera man

to see a dead body?

I don't think you get it.

We're in the shit.

- Dude, this isn't worth it, man, I'm turning the camera off. - No, do not.

- I'm turning the camera off. - Do not, leave it rolling!

- Leave it on! - And for the first time ever,

Zach... stopped rolling.

We made the turn right here, right?

Yeah, I... I think so. That should be right, because this way is North.

Okay, okay, so we can take this trail here

and we can hit the ranger station.

They'll probably have a phone, we can call back to town,

that'll be way faster than going back.

Yeah, we... tha... that might work, but I...

- Brian, I... That map is for tourists. - It's all we got.

- Okay. - Let's go.

- Come on! - We're really doing this?

Yes.

Shit.

Shit!

So, we're two days into our hike,

we have found a victim of what we believe to be

a Bigfoot attack or a bear attack.

Either way, our best hope is probably to head to this hiking outpost

and radio back to town.

We have a pretty hefty hike ahead of us,

and we are feeling it in the heat of this afternoon.

According to our guide, we were only a few hours away from the ranger station

and could soon alert the authorities.

By radioing in, we avoid going back to town,

and we can keep searching for whatever stormed our campsite.

And whatever killed that man.

- Did we go the right way? - Yeah, we...

we took the turn that your map said to.

This is like, like an abandoned hippie commune.

Yeah, that is what it looks like.

- Are we lost? - No! No, no, no, no, no, no, I... I know where to go from here.

We just need to keep going southwest into town.

Man, Jeff. I pulled out the map, I asked you if that's where we turned and you said yes!

Brian. How many times do I have to tell you

that that map is for day hiking hipster pieces of trash

from Brooklyn who just want to come in for Instagram pics?

Wow, you know, I didn't realize the guy who brags about never getting lost

would get us so fucking lost.

- Let me guess, you learn that shit in... - Look, just give me

a couple minutes to get my bearings straight, all right.

And I'll get us into town. I think it's only, like,

a half a mile from that... that ranger station.

We'd been through a lot.

But after seeing firsthand what can happen to hikers in these mountains...

I couldn't help but wonder, were we next?

Jeff had gotten us this far,

and his training as an Eagle Scout had come in handy

more than once. But I was beginning to ask myself

if maybe an Eagle Scout is just an adult

who stayed in Scouts too long.

But after insisting that we were at least close to our outpost,

- our guide formulated a plan. - So, look.

It's probably the best bet for us to just go ahead

and set up camp here.

We're running out of daylight

and we know we have a reliable water source.

But we have about two hours until full sunset.

So I thought maybe during that time

I could go and scout out the area,

and maybe get a better understanding of where we are.

And while I'm gone, maybe we could, you know,

set up your tent...

and maybe deal with some of those anger management issues we saw come out earlier?

You know, and then, like, think abou... think about the things we said

and the way that we said them when we were emotional

- that maybe we really... - I'm not apologizing.

Nope, nope.

And... nor should you, nor should you at all.

I just thought maybe it's better to, you know, not hold a grudge.

All right, well...

I'm going to go.

With only a few hours left in the day and abandoned by our guide,

it was only me and my cameraman left to fend for ourselves

or be prepared for nightfall.

Hey, guys, it's me,

your old reliable friend, the Cryptic Commander.

I'm in way over my fucking head right now.

We're... really lost.

This tree looks like that tree,

and that tree looks like this tree.

We could be anywhere, we are so turned around.

I've... I've got to come clean about something.

A couple of years ago, I got what's considered...

the best Bigfoot footage in the world.

So I got a couple books published because of it, but...

it also absolutely ruined my life.

But then,

I started this YouTube channel and I thought, "Oh, my...

my viewers can be my friends, my... my subscribers, they can be my family."

But it was never enough.

So, when the Compound crew called and said they wanted to put me in a documentary,

I... I jumped at the chance,

because I was so excited to talk to someone

about something I cared about in real life again.

And I wanted them to be so intrigued and so obsessed with Bigfoot like I am that...

I faked it.

I faked their Bigfoot encounter on the first night.

I'll be able to get us out of here, I know I will.

I've been on this mountain multiple times.

Even when I do, they're just going to leave.

Because that's what they always do.

Hold on second, did y'all hear that?

There it is again.

This could be a real sighting.

Oh my gosh!

There might be more than one of them.

They're right on top of me.

So, we're here where our guide told us to stay.

We've been without water for basically an entire day now

and we're beginning to lose hope.

How we don't realize this?

Actually, more than one boy scout on this trip.

I actually managed to work my way up to tenderfoot.

F###! So the mosquito net that our guy gave us

is apparently faulty, because I'm still getting bit right through this.

Probably the worst part of this, though, is realizing that...

we were better off following a guy...

...who thought that Bigfoot was real.

Hello?

Jeff?

Hello?

- Hello? - Hey!

Hey, anybody down there?

Hey! Have you seen Jeff?

Hey! Oh, boys! Hey there.

No, no Jeff. But how the hell did you get up here?

You all right?

What happened?

- Okay. Well, well... - We saw something in the woods.

- ...we were doing a story, like, you know... - Yeah.

- ...and then... yeah, the thing... - ...saw something...

- Maybe... - Look, we don't know where our guide is.

- It was very hectic... - Okay, okay. Lo... hey!

Hey, calm down, okay? It's going to be okay.

What got you so spooked?

We saw a dead body.

We were trying to radio you.

Well, sounds like you boys have been through a lot tonight.

Well, look, I'd love to give you a ride back in town,

but, uh, unfortunately you are trespassing.

- What? - Yeah. Yeah, sorry.

Look, uh, just a formality,

but I am going to need you to put these on.

- What? - Mm-hmm. Just protocol, just put them on.

I'll bring you back to town.

But... but we're lost out in the woods.

I know, and you won't be real soon, okay?

- Go ahead. - Dude, I'm not putting on cuffs.

Please.

All right, we tried to do things the easy way.

I think you better put these on.

He doesn't take kindly to strangers.

It's about time we turn this off.

We were caught in something bigger than we expected.

And the monster we were chasing

was about to show its face.

This thing recording?

Oh, hell yeah, what's up, world?

It's your boy, Trucknutz!

We out here in the dirty south moving product.

You know how we do. You heard of the Cali cartel?

Well, we're the Mountain Dew Mafia, that's right.

Let me show you all around, this is my boy, Stevie.

Man, what the fuck? We said no names.

- I know that's why I used a fake name, Logan. - What the fuck, Kyle?

This is my beautiful wife.

What the fuck? I'm trying to flirt with you, bitch.

So this my man cave, y'all.

I got a big screen TV, the flat kind,

I got an Xbox 360,

check me out, my gamertag is countryroads1971,

that's the year John Denver released the real national anthem.

And, uh, what else I want to show y'all?

Oh, damn, let me show you the warehouse.

All right, y'all, welcome to the compound,

where the real action happens.

Yo, check that out.

Just when y'all thought we were done, right?

We're contributing to the motherfucking opioid epidemic.

That's right. This is a brick of fentanyl right here,

it's all wrapped up in Saran Wrap,

I guess they're going to chop it up and...

and put it in these, uh, stuffed animals.

Y'all seen Traffic, right?

It's just like that.

Hey, What are you doing?

You can't be in here, man!

These are my boys, right here.

Hey! Get the fuck out of here now!

- All right, Jesus! - You ain't supposed to be in here.

- Get out of here! - Goddamn!

Let's go look at some guns.

Bam! This is my gun collection right here.

I love these guns like my family.

I know them like the back of my fucking hand, dude.

This is my long gun. This is my short gun.

These are all my baby girls right there, all three of them.

Uh, this, of course, is more fentanyl bricks.

We sell so much fucking fentanyl bricks,

like, suck it, El Chapo.

Let's check out my truck, y'all. I mean, fuck this.

So, this is it right here, y'all, this is my baby.

I'mma drop a LS3 in this sucker.

I'mma be cruising on 22s, like,

she might not look like much right now...

but check this out.

Dude! I already told you once.

Get out of the damn warehouse!

- We're working. - All right, fine.

I'm going to the stable

where at least I get respect.

Haters, y'all!

Now we're in the stable,

where we got hella horses.

Just your regular, you know, run-of-the-mill stable.

Psych! We got prisoners up in here too!

Look at those bitches in there.

They're... they're our real human captives.

Shut the fuck up. Shut up.

- Yeah, we just kind of do with them what we please. - Carl, what are you doing?

You know, I'm trying to go viral, cuz.

We got work to do and you're fucking around.

We had our camera back, but without an escape plan,

it wasn't much good.

So, they just kidnapped all three of us?

And me.

Oh, right. I forgot to properly introduce you guys.

Jeff, this is Darren. He's a Bigfoot hunter

who likes to gargle animal piss.

Darren, this is Jeff.

He's a Bigfoot hunter who likes to drink his own piss.

Gross!

The first thing you guys will hear, I, uh,

I faked that Bigfoot attack.

Bigfoot is real, when we get out of here,

I promise I will take you guys back out in the woods

and help you find the real Bigfoot.

I am... I'm sorry I lied, but I had to create

a false flag situation to get you guys hooked.

We're not getting out of here.

Well, fine, but...

it felt nice to get that off my chest, since we're friends.

We're not friends.

You're a liar.

And I get that most Bigfoot hunters are liars.

But the most upsetting part of all of this

is that I believed you.

I believed a Bigfoot hunter.

I'm going to die because I trusted a fucking Bigfoot hunter.

Hey, but that's... that's alright, because I must be the most trash

fucking journalist on the whole planet.

Why do I even think I could do something like

investigative journalism when I can't even see

that I'm walking head first into a drug cartel?

But it's no big deal, because you know what?

I'll die doing what I'm best at

which is interviewing a fucking shit...

I said shut up.

We're literally trapped in a cage right now.

And the only person you're worried about is you!

Yeah, you already left me once in this trip.

How much longer till you leave me for PBS?

Oh, yeah, you didn't think I knew about that, did you?

You're literally nothing without me too.

By the way, we've been working together for five years

and you still haven't learned how to hold the camera.

Give me that.

Oh, s###.

A familiar face.

And not in a good way.

Anyone familiar with FBI's Most Wanted

would recognize the face of Ma Pritchard.

Born in Macon, Georgia, under the name Rose McCoy,

her first brush with the law came early

while acting as her father's look out during armed robberies.

Often referred to as Dixie's last kingpin,

she started a criminal empire out of a group of runaways

and foster children that she raised herself.

Now, some of the Deep South's most vicious criminals

affectionately refer to her as "Ma."

Notoriously violent, they're known for their savage murder

of anyone who stands in their way.

Wanted for laundering, kidnapping,

violent crimes and felony murder.

It's long been suspected that her criminal enterprise

has expanded into drug smuggling.

Considered by authorities to be one of the most violent criminals at large

in the United States,

Ma Pritchard hasn't been seen in years,

and her whereabouts are still unknown

until right now.

You keep rolling there, boy.

Trust me when I tell you,

I'll be the only one that ever sees that.

We work for a news network. I'm making a documentary.

It's a documentary about Bigfoot.

Y'all think there are Sasquatches up here, in Georgia?

Ma, it ain't that...

it ain't that ridiculous. Like, Bigfoot's real.

You're not bringing that up again, are you?

I'm just... I'm just saying, you know, like, Sasquatch is real.

Alright? He's a Georgia boy.

You guys sound like a Goddamn redneck,

and you gonna make the rest of us look like hillbillies.

- Ma, I told you, I've seen him though. Remember? - You've seen him?

I mean, I heard him at least, but I done told you that, remember the...

That was us.

We're smuggling heroin through the woods.

Oh, hey, this my lucky opener.

So, all this time, all those Bigfoot occurrences,

it's just been you guys.

Well, you said you came up here looking for Bigfoot,

and I guess you found him.

And now, we're going to find out who you're really working for.

Get that one right there.

He looks ready to talk.

No! No, no, no! No! No!

Jeff, what the fuck are we going to do?

Do you know what this means?

Yeah, if we don't get out of here,

they're going to murder Zach.

It means Bigfoot isn't real.

Oh. What?

It means all those years out in the field doing research,

I've just been chasing after a group a hillbilly criminals.

Jeff, snap out of it.

This must be what I deserve for pushing everyone away.

I felt for him, but right now I couldn't have him like this.

Uh, look, look, look. They left the keys!

Okay, okay. We can't reach through the bars.

- But... - But you remember when you showed me your lasso trick?

- Oh. - Great!

So we can use my belt

and form it into a lasso

and get the keys off the hook.

And then I'll use my arms, my skinny arms

to reach through the cage and I can reach down there

and I can grab the keys, get out of these cuffs,

and then we can go and save Zach.

Do you really want to live in a world...

knowing that Bigfoot isn't real?

Well, I never thought...

- Yes. Yes, I would. - Fine.

You had that the entire time?

Yeah. Brian,

how many times do I have to tell you guys?

I am an Eagle Scout.

I always come prepared.

That was incredible.

Who cares?

- You still think I'm an idiot. - No.

No, I'm sorry about what I said.

- No, you're not. - Yes, I am.

Jeff, you're a badass. I couldn't have gotten out of these cuffs.

It was true, without Jeff, we'd have been fertilizer.

Yeah, you're right, you couldn't have.

Holy shit, did I just break us out of handcuffs?

I'm a fucking badass.

I'm a badass with or without Bigfoot.

Ye... Yeah!

You know what? There's a man who needs saving.

And I'm going to be the one to do it.

- Is it me? - Oh. Um...

- Shit. Uh... - Uh, we... we should...

- Um, yes. Yes. - I mean, I guess.

Now that Jeff was back in action,

it was up to him, myself,

and the pee-pee guy from earlier

to hatch a plan and save my best friend.

But standing directly in front of Zach was an armed guard.

Okay, so I think our best bet is to distract him.

- You come up from behind. - Okay, and then what?

Then, Jeff, you'll grab him, and, Darren, you'll come up and disarm him.

Wait. He has a gun?

Yeah, but with the three of us, we can totally take them.

Okay, yeah, right. So, we just ambush him, huh?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, exactly. So I'll come up from behind,

and once I'm in position, you just come charging in from the front.

The front? So, like, where the gun is?

- Are you serious? - Yeah, man, we just rescued you.

Yeah, and I appreciate that and all, but...

- I'm kind of a coward. - Darren, you got this.

This is our chance for us to show the world

that Bigfoot hunters aren't just a bunch of crybaby, sissy loonies.

Hell yeah!

- Okay. Yeah, let's do this. - Alright.

Okay, great. Awesome. So here's the plan.

Jeff, you sneak around the back, you get him,

you grab him, that's when Darren and I... Darren, we come in, we...

- Oh, shit. - Okay. I guess we're doing it ourselves.

Are you sure?

Jeff... you got this.

Thanks, Brian.

I wasn't sure what Jeff's plan was, but it was now or never.

Hey!

What are you doing out here?

Uh, I, um... I'm... it's me from earlier.

And I also do a show

and I was just wondering

what it's like being a member of the cartel.

Dude, you know...

- Oh my god. - What the fuck?

Oh my god! It was so easy.

Brian, I've only ever seen that in movies.

I mean, his neck snapped like it was made of candy.

Yeah, I meant knock him out.

Brian, don't you put this on me. You said to take care of it.

Shit!

Grab his knife!

Brian, you didn't ditch me.

Guys, let's do this.

All right, all right. Freeze.

Please. Please, just let us go.

- Hey, Ma, they are here! - Come on, we'll delete all the footage.

- We won't tell anyone, please, just let us go. - No, no. I ain't fucking dumb.

Alright, come on, back to the barn. Come on. Come on.

Oh my god. You all hear that?

That's the mighty Bigfoot.

You heard that, right?

You heard that? That was me.

I just did the Bigfoot call. That was really me!

Yeah, you know, it was... it was close, definitely an A for effort.

But you know what? Congratulations, it worked.

And at that moment, it hit me.

Maybe we weren't hunting Bigfoot the creature,

but the Bigfoot in ourselves.

What are you guys doing? Come on!

It was dark and we lost our guide almost instantly,

but he hadn't lost us.

- What the fuck? - Come here. Shh, shh!

I was losing my shit.

But Jeff kept a cool head the entire time.

Maybe his boy scout skills would be enough

to get us out of this mess alive.

Well, well, well.

Oh! Nice and easy now. Hands up. Come on over.

Come on. Oh. Watch your step.

Yeah. There you go.

Alright. Now...

We were just going to kill you...

but now we got to go straight up Deliverance on your asses.

We're going to what?

We are going to mess them up real good.

- Yeah. - Right, but they do some, uh,

they do some, uh, kind of fucked up shit in that movie.

- Yeah. Oh, yeah. - Deliverance?

Oh, yeah. That right there.

Mm.

Hey, uh, is there anything you want to tell me, like...

Hey, boss. Come on over here.

So, y'all think your time here is up, huh?

Grab him, hold him down.

Hey, we're not doing anything like,

specifically from Deliverance, are we?

- Grab that one right there. - Okay, Ma.

- Come on. - I'm not going to give him a chance to escape again.

Down!

Hold still.

So, you claim to be a reporter?

Well, I don't know too much about journalism, but I do know this,

you're not supposed to interfere with what you've been reporting of,

you're supposed to observe.

Now, you had the opportunity to turn around and go home,

but you didn't do it, because you're bad at what you're doing.

You're so bad at this, you're so bad at this

that you're going to die.

And ain't nobody going to hear your story.

Oh, shit! Hey, guys!

Zach. Awesome. You made it out.

Well, I'm just going to be leaving...

- Who is that guy? - He's one of their friends.

Okay. Alright.

And now I'm going to gut you like a fish

for what you did to my boy.

I'm sorry...

for everything.

So this was it.

We were going to die.

And how?

Chasing Bigfoot.

When you put it that way,

it sounds pretty stupid.

Being so desperate for a story

that you'd literally follow a stranger into the woods

on a complete and total lie.

I have felt so hopelessly stuck in my career

that I got myself, my cameraman

and an Eagle Scout killed.

And absolutely nothing could save us now.

- What the hell is that? - They're just trying to trick us again.

What's that?

Oh, hell, no!

Something had saved us,

but we weren't out of the woods just yet.

It attacked our kidnappers,

providing us enough cover to slip away,

and finally capture the first clear footage of Bigfoot.

Stay completely still, his vision detects no movement.

His vision's normal.

His vision's normal!

Well, his vision was normal,

his sights were set on someone else...

Oh my fucking God!

...Ma.

Oh my God.

What the fuck?

- Shit, shit, shit, shit! - Oh my god.

Come on, come on!

We ran for as long and as hard as we could.

Probably over a mile, and we needed to catch our breath.

Holy shit! Holy shit, was that really Bigfoot?

I knew it. I knew it. I knew he was real.

No, you didn't.

Why didn't he come after us?

Zach, I told you, Bigfoot hates guns!

Bigfoot... hates... guns!

Oh! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit!

After running for what felt like hours,

we discovered an old service road that led back to town.

Oh my god.

Oh my god. I know this road. We're so close to town.

And now we were out of the woods,

our problems were far from over.

Freeze!

Hands up, motherfuckers.

Heard a little bit of commotion. What happened to my cousins?

Wait, you guys are related?

You don't look anything alike.

Let's just say that we were close enough

that I'll kill you for whatever the fuck you did to them.

So that's a no?

Fuck you!

Officer in Highway 41 requesting back-up.

I have three suspects possibly armed.

- We don't have a gun. - Put your hands behind your fucking heads.

Ten-Four, please hurry, suspects are approaching my vehicle.

Don't you fucking move!

Hmm?

This is Officer 544, suspects confirmed armed.

Pick it up.

- Touch it, shithead. - I... No.

- I said pick it up! - No!

Yeah, it doesn't matter.

Shots fired. Shots fired!

Boom!

Fuck.

Hey.

It's Sid, I'm back!

You remember me?

- What the hell? - Oh my god.

Sid, you saved us. Hell yeah, man!

What the hell are you doing out here?

Oh, Jeff.

- I'm going to get you. - Back up. He's going to do it.

He will do it. Back up.

Back up. Sid, it's going to be alright.

Okay, I think if we just keep walking like this, it's going to be okay.

And that was it.

The end of an arduous journey

that proved the existence of a mythological creature,

and would lead ultimately to the uncovering

of one of the largest organized crime rings of the last decade.

A major drug raid in Northern Habersham County,

law enforcements seized over 30 tons of fentanyl and opioids.

Although several arrests have been made, key members

of the criminal organization have still not been located.

An alarming video evidence from a journalist on the scene

raises more questions than answers.

Look, the video is great, and I'm really happy with it.

But I've... I've put a lot of that behind me.

The only thing I'm really concerned with now is planning my wedding.

And as for me,

I was finally living my dream

as an international correspondent.

Why are we... Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Whoa! Whoa, guys, guys, guys. It's just a regular...

Okay, okay. Alright, alright, alright. Alright, okay.

Brian... Emond.

I brought you here

for one reason and one reason alone.

- What's that? - To show you...

what the craft beer scene in Venezuela is really all about!

Salud, Brian.

Sure, it was clickbait...

but I was great at it.

Salud!

We should sit down and talk about

how you guys do this,

because this is something else.

Well, first you need to get the house.

- Yes. - And we...

Next to the cocaine, we have the house.

We have all the journalists that we trapped.

- Yeah. - They're slaves. They work on the house.

- They pick it up... - Are you telling me they work for free?

That's what a slave is.

So, hands on the stomach, make sure you're getting the right amount of lift and...

♪ Oh! ♪

♪ Oh! ♪

Every journalist is searching for that one story,

the one that defines them.

But how many reporters from The Guardian

get to chug beers with a rebel faction

in the mountains of Venezuela?

And it could be worse, I could be doing it alone.

Healthcare, maple syrup...

legal weed.

These are some of the crises

facing Canadians today.

Join me for this hour

for entirely new television show from Compound.

Dirty Dolla $ign$ Serious F###### Issues.

Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull