Original subtitles

- THIS SEASON ON THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS...

- YOU WANT TO RACE?

- WHOOP. AAH!

[crowd cheers] - LISA!

[cheers and applause]

- AAH!

- CAN WE CATCH A RIDE?

- WELCOME TO AMSTERDAM. WHOO!

- [laughs]

- CAN WE JUST GO IN ALREADY?

- IT'S REALLY IMPORTANT TO ME

PORTIA DOESN'T BECOME A SPOILED BRAT.

- MWAH.

- HAPPY BIRTHDAY! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

- I'LL DO ANYTHING TO MAKE A BUCK.

I DON'T SAY NO VERY MUCH. I SAY YES.

- HOW WOULD HE EVER KNOW THIS IS US?

- KIM IS ABSOLUTELY NUTBALL CRAZY.

- [bleep] YOU.

- WHAT DID YOU SAY? - I-I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING.

- WHOO!

- THE FIRST TIME I MET EILEEN ON YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS,

TO ME, IT WAS LIKE, "OH, MY GOD, THERE'S ASHLEY."

- DID YOU KILL ANYONE?

- NOT YET. BEING AN ACTOR,

PEOPLE ASSUME THAT YOU LOVE TO HAVE

THE ATTENTION FOCUSED ON YOU.

PLEASE PAY ATTENTION TO ME! DON'T PAY ATTENTION TO ME!

PLEASE PAY ATTENTION TO ME!

- YOLANDA?

- I KNEW SOMETHING WAS WRONG.

IT JUST THREW ME OFF.

- IT WAS A TRAGIC MISTAKE.

- IT'S JUST FEAR THAT I HAVE TO DEAL WITH.

- EVERYONE IS ENABLING AN ADDICT.

- I'M NOT GONNA KISS YOUR ASS.

- OH, ARE YOU WITH KYLE?

I REALLY DON'T THINK IT'S ANYBODY'S [bleep] BUSINESS,

TO BE HONEST.

YOU ARE FEELING HOW I FELT LAST YEAR.

I-I'M NOT... I'M...

- THIS IS NOT ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW, LISA!

- WHY WOULD ANYBODY DO THAT?

IT'S SO RUDE.

IT FELT LIKE A VIOLATION, WHICH WAS SUPER CREEPY.

- SHE SLEEPS AROUND AND TRIES TO STEAL MEN.

- DON'T [bleep] CALL ME A HOME WRECKER.

OH!

- YOU [bleep]... - WOW, REALLY?

- [bleep] DO THAT.

- DO YOU EVER TAKE RESPONSIBILITY

FOR ANY OF YOUR ACTIONS?

- DON'T YOU [bleep]... - [bleep] YOU!

- DON'T YOU EVER GO AFTER MY [bleep] HUSBAND!

[overlapping shouts]

♪♪ ♪♪

- THROW ME TO THE WOLVES

AND I SHALL RETURN LEADING THE PACK.

- CHARACTER ISN'T WHAT YOU HAVE.

IT'S WHO YOU ARE.

- YOU'VE HEARD A LOT ABOUT ME,

BUT IT'S ONLY TRUE WHEN IT COMES FROM MY LIPS.

- I'M NOT A BITCH,

BUT I'VE PLAYED ONE ON TV.

- I'VE BEEN RICH AND I'VE BEEN FAMOUS,

BUT HAPPINESS BEATS THEM BOTH.

- I'D RATHER SPEND MY LIFE KICKING ASS

THAN KISSING IT.

- PLANES AND YACHTS ARE NICE,

BUT MY HAPPINESS STARTS AT HOME.

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- IT'S SORT OF A DISCO CIRQUE PARTY

WITH WHAT WE HAVE, RIGHT, WITH THE DISCO NINJAS?

- YEAH.

- THEY'RE MAKING A BAR FOR YOU

THAT'S TUFTED, THAT'S... THE WHITE AND SILVER.

- NICE. - TUFTED.

- OKAY. - THAT GLOWS,

IF YOU WANT IT TO GLOW.

- I WANT IT TO GLOW. I'M ALL ABOUT THE GLOWING.

- YEAH. - I KNOW YOU ARE.

- OKAY. - NOW, LET'S TALK ABOUT...

YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT WHAT WE SORT OF FEEL

THE WAY IT SHOULD BE?

'CAUSE I WANT TO... I HAVE... - SHOULD WE GO OUTSIDE?

- I HAVE SUCH A GREAT

IDEA FOR YOU. - OKAY.

THE WHITE PARTY HAS GROWN AND BECOME SUCH A BIG PARTY.

I MEAN, EVERY YEAR I FEEL LIKE I WANT IT TO GET BETTER

AND BETTER AND BETTER.

AND IT PUTS A LOT OF PRESSURE ON ME.

- WE'RE GONNA DO THE DANCE FLOOR ON THIS SIDE.

WE'RE GONNA HAVE THE TENT... IT'S GONNA BE SWAGGED GORGEOUSLY.

- RIGHT. - IT'S GONNA LOOK BEAUTIFUL.

THE LOUNGES AND THE BOOTHS THAT WE'RE GETTING...

- OKAY. - AROUND HERE.

- WHAT ABOUT THOSE PLATFORMS FOR THE DANCERS?

MAYBE TWO ON EACH SIDE OF THE DANCE FLOOR?

- OH, OKAY.

ONE OF OUR CIRQUE PERFORMERS IS A SNAKE-CHARMER.

- NO, I'M NOT HAVING ANYTHING TO DO WITH A SNAKE.

THERE'S NO WAY.

THE BUDGET FOR THE WHITE PARTY HAS PRETTY MUCH QUADRUPLED.

SO MY LITTLE DO-IT-MYSELF PARTY THAT I DID WITH MY FRIENDS

HAS NOW TURNED INTO THIS BEVERLY HILLS

EVENT OF THE YEAR PARTY THAT EVERYBODY WANTS TO COME TO.

I NEED SOME ADVICE REALLY QUICKLY.

SO THE WHITE PARTY NEEDS A THEME OTHER THAN WHITE.

WHAT SHOULD WE DO? - HOW COOL WOULD IT BE

IF, LIKE, WE DID, LIKE, A WHITE CIRCUS,

WHERE, LIKE, WE HAVE A BUNCH OF PEOPLE, LIKE,

FLAME-THROWERS, LIKE, DRESSED IN ALL, LIKE, BEADED WHITE,

AND, LIKE, WHITE HORSES?

- LIKE A CIRQUE DU SOLEIL?

MY KIDS ARE ALL DOING FANTASTIC.

PORTIA IS AS FEISTY AS EVER.

- LET'S GET A WHITE FERRIS WHEEL.

- I'M JUST SAYING. - A WHITE FERRIS WHEEL!

SOPHIA IS NOW 5'9"

AND GOING INTO HIGH SCHOOL FOR HER FIRST YEAR.

AND ALEXIA IS GOING OFF TO COLLEGE,

WHICH IS REALLY SCARY.

FARRAH IS KILLING IT IN REAL ESTATE AT THE AGENCY,

AND I COULDN'T BE MORE PROUD.

WE'RE JUST GOING OVER EVERYTHING.

I'LL GIVE YOU THE WHOLE RECAP LATER.

- SURE. - OVER THE WHITE PARTY,

EVERYTHING.

I'M SO PROUD OF MAURICIO.

THE AGENCY'S JUST BLOWN UP.

WE HAD TO MOVE OFFICES. HE'S OPENING EVERYWHERE.

HE'S NOW NUMBER-ONE BROKER IN CALIFORNIA

AND NUMBER, I THINK, SIX IN THE NATION.

- DO YOU WANT TO GO OVER THIS GUEST LIST?

- YEAH, THERE'S A COUPLE PEOPLE ON THERE THAT I DON'T KNOW

HOW THEY GOT ON THERE, BY THE WAY.

- WELL, CAN WE DO IT NOW BEFORE THEY OPEN THEM?

ALI AND ALEJANDRO HAVE RSVP'D.

WE HAVE TAYLOR COMING.

- TAYLOR AND JOHN. - TAYLOR AND JOHN.

BLAIR CHANG, BRANDI, BRENDAN AND MORGAN...

- WHO... - BROOKE DAVENPORT.

- HAS LISA VANDERPUMP RSVP'D YET?

- NO.

- LISA AND I HAVE NOT SEEN EACH OTHER IN A LONG TIME.

LAST TIME WE SPOKE, WE DID NOT LEAVE OFF IN THE BEST PLACE.

- DON'T HURL LIES.

- AT LEAST ADMIT ONE THING YOU'VE DONE WRONG.

- KYLE, I WAS... - CAN YOU NOT SAY ONE THING?

WE WERE BOTH HURT BY EACH OTHER, BUT I THINK THAT

IF YOU'VE HAD A FRIENDSHIP WITH SOMEONE

AND YOU CARED ABOUT THEM ENOUGH, IT'S WORTH FIXING.

I ALSO DID NOT PUT ADRIENNE AND PAUL.

- [laughs] - THAT WAS YOUR BAD.

- I CORRECTED IT. I CORRECTED IT.

COULD YOU IMAGINE? - HOW DO YOU KNOW

SHE DIDN'T SEE THAT? - BECAUSE IT ONLY SAYS

"SENT" AND "NOT OPEN."

- THAT'S EMBARRASSING. - [sighs]

- YOLANDA?

IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO GET HERE.

- JEEZ, HOW ARE YOU? - I KNOW.

THAT'S WHY I NEVER COME TO TOWN.

- I KNOW. - THAT'S WHY I'M STUCK

ON THE MOUNTAIN HERE.

- OH. IT'S BEAUTIFUL.

- HOW ARE YOU? - THERE'S A BETTER...

I MEAN, THERE'S NO BETTER PLACE FOR YOUR STUFF, BUT...

- YEAH. - ARE WE HIKING?

- WELL, LET'S GO TO THE BEACH. IT'S SUCH A BEAUTIFUL DAY.

ALL RIGHT, LET'S GO.

MY LOVE.

- HI, HONEY.

- HOW ARE YOU? - I'M GOOD, HOW ARE YOU?

- GOOD. WHERE YOU GUYS GOING?

- WE'RE GONNA GO FOR A WALK ON THE BEACH.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

- WE'RE WORKING ON THE PLAY.

- WHAT ARE YOU... WELL, CAN WE HEAR A LITTLE?

- NO. - JUST A LITTLE.

- [laughs] - ONE NOTE.

- WELL, I WAS JUST ABOUT TO EXPLAIN TO THEM ABOUT...

[upbeat piano music]

- [laughs]

♪♪ ♪♪

WE GOT A JOB ON BROADWAY!

- RIGHT? - YOU DO BETTER THAN ME.

♪♪ ♪♪

DAVID AND I ARE MOVING TO A NEW CHAPTER OF LIFE.

- IT'S AMAZING. - GOOD.

- WE'RE WORKING. - SOLD.

- ALL RIGHT. - SOLD.

- GIGI'S BEEN IN COLLEGE FOR A YEAR,

BELLA'S LEAVING, YOU KNOW, THIS AUGUST,

AND IT'LL JUST BE DAVID AND I AND ANWAR, SO...

LIFE IS CHANGING.

- ALL RIGHT.

- LOVE YOU. BYE, GUYS. - BYE, GUYS.

YOLANDA AND I ARE GREAT.

SHE'S INSPIRATIONAL TO EVERYONE AROUND HER.

SHE'S THE BEST MOM, SHE'S THE BEST WIFE,

SHE'S BATTLING THIS, YOU KNOW, LIFE-THREATENING ILLNESS,

AND SHE'S STILL, LIKE,

DOING EVERYTHING BETTER THAN MOST PEOPLE DO ANYTHING.

- OH, MY GOD. - THAT'S CUTE.

- WHAT ARE THESE PEOPLE DOING ON MY PROPERTY?

- ARE THEY... IS THIS YOUR PROPERTY?

- YEAH. [laughs]

THAT IS SO FUNNY.

SOMEBODY MOVED IN.

HI.

- HOW YOU DOING?

- GOOD.

DO YOU KNOW THAT THIS IS OUR PROPERTY?

- THIS IS? - YEAH.

- OKAY, NO. I DIDN'T KNOW.

- [laughs]

IT'S CUTE, THOUGH. YOU HAVE BEAUTIFUL STUFF.

- THANK YOU. - IT'S NICE.

- MAYBE HOW LONG ARE THEY GONNA BE HERE.

- WELL, AS LONG AS YOU'RE NOT GONNA BE HERE EVERY DAY...

- NO. - IT'S OKAY.

HAVE A GOOD DAY, AND I HOPE YOU HAVE A LOT OF BUSINESS.

- ALL RIGHT. - OKAY, SEE YOU, BYE.

THE PROPERTY IS 4 1/2 ACRES.

YOU KNOW, THAT'S A LOT OF LAND.

SO I DON'T REALLY KNOW WHAT GOES ON

ON THE BOTTOM OF THE PROPERTY OR ON THE TOP.

- OH, IT FEELS REALLY GOOD. - YAY!

THE BEACH!

ISN'T IT GREAT?

WE GOTTA CONNECT TO THE EARTH. - [laughs]

NO, YOU DO.

- FEEL.

- ALL RIGHT.

- DO YOU FEEL IT? DON'T YOU FEEL

WHEN YOU CONNECT TO THE EARTH?

- I DON'T FEEL ANYTHING.

- YOU DON'T FEEL THAT? - UH-UHH.

- I'M AN EARTH CHILD. I WAS BORN ON THE FARM,

AND YOU CAN TAKE THE GIRL AWAY FROM THE FARM,

BUT YOU CAN'T TAKE...

HOW DO YOU SAY THAT? [laughs]

I LOVE IT. - SO GIGI... SO TELL ME.

- GIGI'S GOOD. GIGI'S IN NEW YORK.

- GIGI'S, LIKE, KILLING IT IN THE MODELING SCENE.

- SHE'S DOING SO WELL. DID I TELL YOU

SHE GOT THE TOM FORD CAMPAIGN? - YES.

- AND LOOK AT GIGI AND GOING LIKE, "OH, MY GOD."

SHE'S A TEN-TIME BETTER VERSION OF WHAT I EVER WAS IN MY LIFE,

AND I THOUGHT I WAS A GIRL WITH BALLS

AND I TOOK ON A LOT EARLY ON IN LIFE,

BUT SHE JUST... I MEAN, SHE'S DOING IT.

BELLA'S GOING OFF TO COLLEGE...

- THAT'S CRAZY. - IN AUGUST, AND...

SO ALL IS JUST MOVING ALONG.

- I JUST NEED TO [bleep]ING MOVE INTO A HOUSE,

BECAUSE WE'VE BEEN TWO MONTHS NOW FLOATING AROUND.

- YEAH. - WE'VE SPENT, LIKE,

OVER $40,000 IN TWO MONTHS

JUST WITH STORAGE AND MOVING AND MOVING AGAIN AND...

- OH, MY GOD. - HAVING TO GET FULLY FURNISHED,

LIKE, CONDOS TO STAY IN.

MY LIFE IS CRAZY HECTIC.

YOU KNOW, I'M A MOTHER OF TWO BOYS.

MY ELDEST IS STARTING JUNIOR HIGH,

WHICH I'M NOT OKAY WITH.

I'M MOVING INTO A NEW HOUSE, AND IT IS A RENTAL,

BUT I'M HOPING TO BUY IT AT THE END OF THE LEASE.

THIS YEAR, IT'S ALL POSITIVE. - YES.

- I HAVE A THIRD BOOK DEAL. I HAVE A PODCAST.

I HAVE AMAZING OPPORTUNITIES IN BUSINESS.

I MEAN, IT COULDN'T BE BETTER,

SO I JUST WANT TO, LIKE, MOVE FORWARD AND BE POSITIVE

AND GET RID OF ALL THE NEGATIVE BULL[bleep] IN MY LIFE.

- WE NEED TO START MAKING A CONSCIOUS DECISION

TO BE POSITIVE... - HAPPY.

- AND TO JUST MAKE HAPPY DAYS. - YEAH.

I MEAN, I DON'T KNOW WITH LISA AND EVERYTHING,

BUT I REALLY THINK... I HOPE THAT WE CAN

ALL MOVE FORWARD WITH HER.

I KNOW LISA PROBABLY BETTER

THAN ANY OF THE GIRLS, AND, YOU KNOW, SHE CAN NEVER ADMIT

TO EVER BEING WRONG OR DOING WRONG.

I DO NOT WANT TO TALK TO SOMEONE THAT [bleep] MY HUSBAND

WHILE I WAS PREGNANT. - I GET IT, I GET IT, I GET IT.

- BUT YOU ALREADY... YOU ALREADY GOT IT.

YOU ALREADY KNEW THAT.

- UGH.

- THE FACT IS, WE'RE ALL IMPERFECT.

YOU KNOW, I'VE DONE WRONG, SHE'S DONE WRONG,

BUT I CAN ADMIT WHEN I'M WRONG.

- LET'S CHECK OUT THOSE LITTLE THINGS.

COME HERE.

- YOU HAVE TO FORGIVE TO BE A GOOD FRIEND TO SOMEBODY.

AH!

THERE'S A CRAB RIGHT THERE!

- [laughs]

- JESUS CHRIST.

- IT'S OKAY.

- LISTEN, I DON'T WANT TO BE EARTHY.

[bleep] THE EARTH. - [laughs]

- DARLING?

THERE YOU ARE.

TAKE THE SEX MONSTER.

- OH, OKAY, HI. OH.

I HAVE TO PUT MY CUP DOWN.

WHERE ARE YOU OFF TO? - ALL RIGHT, BYE.

- WHERE ARE YOU OFF TO? - I'M NOT TELLING YOU,

BUT I'LL BE BACK IN A COUPLE OF HOURS.

IF I TELL YOU, YOU WON'T LET ME.

BYE. - WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

- BYE. I LOVE YOU.

- I LOVE YOU TOO.

- I FEEL THAT I HAVE SEPARATED MYSELF FROM THIS GROUP

AFTER PUERTO RICO, AND, REALLY,

JUST TRIED TO FORGET EVERYTHING THAT HAD GONE DOWN.

- YOU HAVEN'T CALLED ME. YOU HAVEN'T CHECKED IN ON ME

LIKE YOU NORMALLY DO. - OH, I HAVE, BRANDI.

YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M REALLY UPSET.

- I WANT TO KNOW THE TRUTH

ABOUT THE TABLOIDS AND THE SUITCASE.

- ALL RIGHT, WE'VE BEEN SET UP. - KEN HAD TWO DIFFERENT...

- WELL DONE. - THERE'S... NOBODY'S...

- LISTEN. - THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

- I THINK IT WAS VICIOUS. I THINK IT WAS MEAN-SPIRITED.

I DON'T QUITE UNDERSTAND WHERE IT CAME FROM,

BUT IT WAS A REAL EYE-OPENER.

SO I WILL WAIT FOR EACH ONE OF THEM

TO REACH OUT TO ME, AND WE'LL SEE.

HI. - HI.

- TABLE FOR TWO? - THIS WAY.

- THANK YOU.

- HELLO.

HOW ARE YOU? - HOW ARE YOU?

GOOD. - GOOD TO SEE YOU.

- DON'T WORRY, I'VE ONLY BEEN HERE HALF AN HOUR.

- OH, PLEASE.

HOW IS EVERYTHING?

- EVERYTHING'S GOOD. - GOOD.

- A LITTLE CRAZY, BUT IT'S OKAY.

- CRAZY? WELL, CRAZY IS GOOD.

- EH. - BETTER THAN BEING BORED.

I CALLED LISA AND I TEXTED HER

A NUMBER OF TIMES WITH NO RESPONSE.

HONESTLY, I FELT THAT...

I WAS THE ONE WHO SHOULD'VE BEEN CALLED.

- COMING UP...

- NO, I GOT A LITTLE... - LOOK AT YOUR BOOBS.

- WHAT CAN I SAY? - GOD, YOU HAVE SUCH GOOD BOOBS.

- YOU LOOK GOOD. - I DO?

YOU LOOK SKINNY. - YEAH.

I DO? - YEAH.

- I'VE BEEN TRYING REALLY HARD.

HOW'S KEN, IS HE GOOD?

- YEAH, HE'S REALLY GOOD.

- AND PANDORA AND MAX?

- YEAH, THEY'RE ALL GOOD.

- GOOD EVENING, LADIES.

WELCOME TO PALMERI. - HI.

THANK YOU. - HI.

I-I'M GONNA START OFF WITH A CHARDONNAY.

- I'LL HAVE A GLASS OF ROSE.

- OH... - WOULD YOU LIKE TO HEAR

THE SPECIALS?

- UM... - UM, YOU KNOW WHAT?

I'M JUST GONNA HAVE THE BURRATA, PLEASE,

WITH THE HEIRLOOM TOMATOES.

- THAT'S MY FAVORITE. IT'S A GREAT CHOICE.

- IT IS? - IT IS, ABSOLUTELY.

- THEN I THINK I'M GONNA HAVE THAT TOO, ACTUALLY.

- YEAH, THANK YOU. - OKAY, NOT A PROBLEM.

- THANK YOU VERY MUCH. - NOT A PROBLEM.

- IT'S BEEN AGES, BUT, YOU KNOW, MAYBE...

BUT A DISTANCE WAS GOOD

BECAUSE IT ALL GOT A BIT TOO KIND OF CRAZY AND...

- THE DISTANCE MADE YOU MISS ME.

- NO, NO, YOU MISSED ME.

- I DON'T DENY THAT. - OKAY.

- I DON'T DENY THAT.

I MEAN, OBVIOUSLY, WHAT HAPPENED HAPPENED, AND I'M...

- IT WAS ALL SO STUPID. - HAPPY TO MOVE FORWARD.

- IT WAS ALL SO RIDICULOUS. - BUT I'VE ALWAYS WANTED

TO MOVE FORWARD FROM ANY TIME WE'VE HAD AN ISSUE.

- WELL, LET'S NOT EVEN TALK ABOUT IT AGAIN, SHALL WE?

- YEAH... - IF YOU WANT TO.

- I'M PRETTY GOOD ABOUT THAT.

- WELL I AM, BUT THEN YOU DO KIND OF BRING IT UP.

- NO, WHAT DO YOU MEAN? - YES, YOU DO,

LIKE ON THE EIFFEL TOWER.

- YOU'RE JUST DIFFERENT TOWARDS ME AND YOU ACT DISTANT

AND ODD AND THEN... THEN...

- THERE WERE THINGS YOU SAID TO ME

THAT WERE PRETTY MEAN.

- NO, I BRING IT UP TO FIX THINGS.

- AND THEN YOU BRING IT UP. - AND YOU BRING UP

THE THINGS THAT HAPPENED. I'M... I WAS TRYING TO...

- WELL, LET'S NOT BRING IT UP AT ALL.

- IT'S VERY HARD FOR LISA TO TAKE ANY RESPONSIBILITY

WHEN SHE'S DONE SOMETHING WRONG.

BUT HER EVEN JUST SAYING, "YOU KNOW WHAT?

I FEEL BAD. I SHOULDN'T HAVE SAID THIS."

I WOULD BE...

SHOCKED AND HAPPY. [laughs]

I REALLY WANT TO MOVE FORWARD

AND NOT... - OKAY.

- YOU KNOW, AND...

HANDLE THINGS DIFFERENTLY. - IT ALL GOT TOO COMPLICATED.

IT GOT TOO BITCHY. IT GOT TOO AGGRESSIVE.

I JUST COULDN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE, TO BE HONEST.

- ME EITHER.

THE SIDE OF LISA THAT I LOVE,

THAT I WANT TO HAVE BACK IN MY LIFE,

IS THE LISA THAT IS FUNNY AND BEAUTIFUL AND SMART

AND MAKES ME LAUGH, YOU KNOW?

SHE IS. SHE'S ALL THOSE THINGS.

SO...

I THINK THAT'S WHY I STILL MAKE THAT EFFORT.

LET ME ASK YOU A QUICK QUESTION. OR MAYBE THIS

IS DELVING TOO DEEP. - YOU CAN ASK ME ANYTHING.

GO ON, I DON'T CARE. - NO, BUT LAST TIME,

YOU SAID, "WELL, I DON'T WANT ANYTHING FROM YOU."

- SO YOU WOULD LIKE... YOU WOULD LIKE WHAT FROM KYLE?

- NOTHING.

- REMEMBER THAT?

WHEN YOU SAID THAT, IT HURT MY FEELINGS.

- OH, FOR GOODNESS SAKE. - NOT THAT I'M THINKING...

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? IT SEEMED LIKE

YOU WERE MORE OPEN TO FORGIVING BRANDI THAN...

- I DON'T REALLY HAVE... - THAN PATCHING THINGS WITH ME.

- I DON'T REALLY HAVE ANYTHING... - THERE WAS NOTHING FOR YOU

TO FORGIVE WITH ME, BUT... - EXACTLY.

- OKAY. - YEAH, BUT, I MEAN, I DON'T...

- MAYBE THAT'S WHAT YOU MEANT. - YEAH.

NOTHING. STOP, IT'S DONE.

NO?

- FOR ME, YEAH.

FOR ME, YEAH, FOR SURE. - YEAH.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?

STOP GOING BACKWARDS. GO FORWARD.

I JUST HOPE THAT KYLE AND I HAVE ENOUGH OF A RELATIONSHIP,

REALLY, TO MOVE FORWARD AND TO UNDERSTAND

THAT WHAT'S GONE DOWN IS BEST LEFT IN THE PAST.

TO LOYALTY

AND TO NOT TALKING [bleep] BEHIND EACH OTHER'S BACK.

- OH, AND WHO'S GONNA SAY LOYALTY TO EACH OTHER

AND WHEN WE'RE NOT WITH EACH OTHER.

- OH, 1,000%

- YEAH.

[cell phone ringing]

- HELLO?

- HELLO, HOW ARE YOU? IT'S KYLE.

- HI, KYLE.

I'M GOOD. HOW ARE YOU?

- I'M GOOD. WHAT'S GOING ON?

- LET'S SEE, WHAT AM I DOING?

I-I DON'T KNOW WHERE I'VE BEEN.

YOU KNOW WHEN YOU'VE BEEN ON A PLANE SO MANY TIMES,

YOU'RE LIKE, "OKAY,

"AM I COMING? AM I GOING?

WHERE... WHERE AM I?"

- I-I KNOW THE FEELING. ME TOO.

I KNEW LISA FROM TELEVISION AND LIVING IN THE SAME NEIGHBORHOOD.

I'D SEE HER AT SPINNING CLASS AND KABBALAH CLASS.

OUR KIDS WERE IN A CLASS CALLED "SPIRITUALITY FOR KIDS."

IT SOUNDS REALLY OBNOXIOUS. WHATEVER.

- WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING?

- I'M PLANNING, YOU KNOW, THE ANNUAL WHITE PARTY.

I WANT TO BE SURE THAT YOU HAVE IT ON YOUR RADAR.

- YES. THE ONLY THING THAT WE HAVE...

IS THE MAD MEN WRAP PARTY.

- OKAY, SO THEN AT LEAST COME BY THE WHITE PARTY,

HAVE SOME FUN WITH US,

AND THEN GO ON TO THE MAD MEN PARTY.

- YEAH, IT'LL BE SO FUNNY BECAUSE

YOUR PARTY BEING ALL WHITE,

WE'LL LITERALLY HAVE TO DRIVE HOME, I THINK,

AND CHANGE OUR CLOTHES BECAUSE IF WE SHOWED UP IN ALL WHITE

AT A MAD MEN PARTY, WE WOULD LOOK LIKE JESUS.

[laughs]

I HAVE A REALLY FABULOUS LIFE

AND I WOULDN'T CHANGE IT FOR THE WORLD.

I AM MARRIED TO HARRY HAMLIN.

HE'S CURRENTLY ON MAD MEN.

HE'S A [bleep] FOX.

- OKAY, GOOD, WELL, I'M GLAD THAT YOU GUYS CAN MAKE IT.

- OF COURSE. - AND WE LOOK FORWARD

TO SEEING YOU GUYS THEN.

- HI, LOVIES.

MWAH.

WE'RE GONNA GO TO THE CAR.

LET'S GO.

HOW WAS SCHOOL?

- IT WAS OKAY.

- I AM THE MOTHER OF TWO GORGEOUS GIRLS.

DELILAH BELLE IS 16 AND AMELIA GRAY IS 13.

TELL ME ABOUT COACHELLA.

- WHAT ABOUT COACHELLA? - I'M SO JEALOUS OF THEM.

- WELL, HOW WAS IT?

- THEY CAME BACK

AND THEY SAID IT WAS, LIKE, THE BEST THING OF THEIR LIVES,

BUT THEY'RE, LIKE, RUBBING IT IN ALL OF OUR FACES

AND, LIKE, SHOWING US PICTURES OF IT

AND, OH, I'M SO JEALOUS.

- WHAT ARE YOU JEALOUS ABOUT?

- LIKE, EVERYTHING.

- IT IS A TRIP AND A HALF RAISING TEENAGE DAUGHTERS.

SOMETIMES, I FEEL LIKE I'M ON AN ACID TRIP.

THOUGH I'VE NEVER TAKEN ACID.

I IMAGINE THIS IS WHAT AN ACID TRIP WOULD FEEL LIKE.

[playing acoustic guitar]

HARRY!

- WHAT?

- IS THIS THE VASE I USE FOR THESE?

- YEAH.

- HARRY IS KING,

SO WE KIND OF PLAY ALONG WITH THAT WITH HARRY.

WE LET HIM BE KING. WE LET HIM BE GOD.

HOW MUCH DO I CUT AT THE BOTTOM?

- YOU HAVE TO BE AN ARTIST ABOUT THIS, DARLING.

YOU GOTTA LOOK AT IT AND YOU GOTTA GO,

"OH, THAT'S JUST EXACTLY THE WAY I WANT IT."

DO IT THE WAY YOU WANT TO DO IT. - OH, IS THAT HOW

I HAVE TO DO IT? - THAT'S RIGHT.

- DO I HAVE TO STAND BACK AND GO,

"OOH, I'M GONNA DO IT JUST LIKE THIS"?

- YES. - ALL RIGHT, THANK YOU

VERY MUCH, SIR. [laughs]

SOMETIMES, I DON'T WANT TO ANSWER TO GOD OR KING,

AND I REBEL AGAINST THAT.

IT'S MY OWN FAULT FOR SETTING UP THE DYNAMIC.

- IT IS A GOOD THING YOU GOT A CUTE BUTT

'CAUSE YOU'RE NOT VERY GOOD WITH FLOWERS.

- AND DON'T YOU [bleep]ING FORGET IT.

DON'T YOU [bleep]ING FORGET IT. - [laughs]

- I'M AN ENTERTAINER. YOU KNOW?

I'M AN ACTOR/ENTERTAINER. [laughs]

I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE [bleep] I AM, REALLY.

THE HIGHLIGHTS OF MY CAREER ARE BILLIE ON DAYS OF OUR LIVES.

ROXIE HART, CHICAGO ON BROADWAY.

UM...

MELROSE PLACE! I FORGOT MELROSE PLACE.

TAYLOR MCBRIDE, HELLO!

- AH! OH!

- WHAT? - OH.

- OH-HO-HO-HO. - I FOUND THIS GUY OUTSIDE.

THIS IS THE RATTLESNAKE THAT WAS OUTSIDE.

- HARRY, IT COULD JUMP OUT!

- AH! - [laughs]

JUST CLOSE IT. - COVER IT!

PUT YOUR HANDS OVER THE TOP!

- NO, IT'S NOT GONNA JUMP OUT.

- OH, MY GOD, IT'S POISED TO. - [laughs]

- IT'S COILED. - I KNOW.

IT'S COILED, IT'S READY TO GO... - IT'S LOOKING AT US.

BUT IT'S NOT GONNA JUMP OUT. - IT'S LOOKING AT US.

- IT'S OKAY. - IT'S LOOKING AT US.

- WHEN I'M WITH MY FAMILY,

WHEN I HAVE ALL FOUR OF US TOGETHER,

I KNOW WHERE WE ALL ARE. WE'RE ALL IN THE SAME PLACE.

THAT IS WHEN I AM BLISSFULLY HAPPY.

LOOK AT THE COLORING, THOUGH. THAT WOULD MAKE SUCH A PRETTY...

[snake rattles] - OH!

[all exclaiming and laughing]

- HARRY, IT'S GONNA JUMP OUT.

- COMING UP...

- DO WE HAVE TO GO TO THE PARTY?

- YES, WE DO. NOW, STOP.

IF WE DON'T GO, IT'S GONNA LOOK REALLY BAD.

- OH, MY GOD, IT LOOKS SO GOOD.

I LOVE THE DETAIL.

LOOKING GOOD.

I NEVER IMAGINED, WHEN IT WAS JUST MY FRIENDS

HELPING ME DO THIS LITTLE PARTY,

IT WOULD TURN IT INTO ONE OF THE PARTIES OF THE YEAR

IN L.A. THAT EVERYBODY'S TRYING TO GET ON THE LIST TO.

ARE YOU THE DANCER? THE MALE DANCER?

- I CAN, I CAN BE.

- [laughs] - I CAN BE.

- OH, BUT YOU'RE NOT?

- I'M NOT, NO. I'M THE BARTENDER.

- WHY'D YOU ASSUME HE WAS THE DANCER, AND NOT ME?

- HONEY. I'VE SEEN YOU...

[laughter]

- AS THE AGENCY HAS GROWN, SO HAS THE WHITE PARTY.

WE'RE NOT JUST ENTERTAINING OUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY.

NOW, WE'RE ENTERTAINING CLIENTS AND AGENTS

AND WE BOTH WANT THIS TO BE A REALLY BIG, FUN EVENT.

- WHAT'S GOING ON HERE? I MEAN, HELLO.

- YOU READY?

- GETTING READY. YOU'RE NOT READY.

- WELL, I'VE SHOWERED. WE'RE NOT TAKING GIGGY, NO?

- NO. HE'LL CRY, THOUGH,

SO JUST DON'T LET HIM KNOW WE'RE GOING OUT.

- DO WE HAVE TO GO TO THE PARTY?

- YES, WE DO. NOW, STOP.

IF WE DON'T GO, IT'S GONNA LOOK REALLY BAD.

- OH, COME ON. - GO PUT YOUR WHITE, YOU KNOW,

TENNIS SHORTS ON. - I DON'T THINK I CAN STAND...

STAND ANOTHER FATBURGER.

- MAY I HAVE A CHEESEBURGER, PLEASE?

- OKAY.

- OH, STOP IT. THAT'S SO RUDE.

- [laughs]

- THAT REALLY IS RUDE. - THAT'S NOT RUDE.

- UH-UHH. - COME ON.

- I MEAN, BRANDI MIGHT BE THERE, BUT THAT'S OKAY.

I HAVEN'T SEEN HER IN... - OH, CAN'T WAIT.

- HUH? - I CAN'T WAIT.

- I THINK YOLANDA'S GOING.

- WELL, I SAW YOLANDA THE OTHER DAY...

- I KNOW.

- WHEN YOU WERE HAVING LUNCH WITH HER, SO...

- WE NEED TO MOVE ON.

IT BLEW OUT OF PROPORTION, BUT... - IT START... IT DID, YEAH.

- BUT THE HEART OF IT WAS THAT I JUST MISSED YOU WHEN I WAS SICK,

AND I WANTED YOU TO PAY MORE ATTENTION TO ME,

BUT I UNDERSTAND THAT YOU ARE BUILDING

THIS HUGE, BIG NEW RESTAURANT AND THAT YOUR TIME WAS THERE,

AND I GET IT. THAT'S WHY.

I MEAN, IT'S... FOR ME, IT'S DONE.

- I THINK SO 100%. - YOU KNOW?

- I DON'T WANT TO GO BACKWARDS AT ALL.

- NO, ME NEITHER. - AND IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU.

- IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU TOO.

- I'M GONNA PUT IT IN THE BACK OF MY MIND.

- I'LL PUT SOMETHING IN YOUR BACK...

[laughs] - AND...

- IN THE BACK OF YOUR BEHIND. - UH-HUH.

- CAN YOU GO AND GET YOUR ASS IN GEAR, PLEASE?

- [laughs]

- I'M SWEATY BETTY RIGHT NOW. - YES.

ARE YOU? - I DON'T KNOW WHY.

I THINK I'M ANXIOUS FOR TONIGHT.

- WELL, IT'S A LOT. THERE'S A LOT OF PEOPLE

GONNA BE THERE TONIGHT. - THAT'S YOUR PHONE.

AT THE MOMENT, WE'RE STAYING IN A CONDO.

IT'S TEMPORARY.

I DON'T THINK IT MATTERS WHERE YOU LIVE.

I MEAN, AS LONG AS LOVE IS THERE.

MY KIDS SLEEP IN MY BED, ANYWAY.

- WHO ALL'S GONNA BE... LIKE, WHO, LIKE, EVERYONE?

LIKE...

- LISA, TAYLOR, ADRIENNE, CAMILLE.

CAMILLE IS GREAT. YOU'LL LOVE HER, SHE'S AWESOME.

- I'M EXCITED TO MEET CAMILLE. - SHE'S REALLY SWEET.

I'M FEELING ANXIETY BECAUSE I HAVEN'T SEEN LISA FOR A WHILE,

AND I HAVEN'T SEEN ADRIENNE SINCE I RAN INTO HER

AT THE POLO LOUNGE AND WE DIDN'T SPEAK,

WHICH WAS VERY UNCOMFORTABLE.

HERE, HAVE A SEAT. I'M GONNA JUST FINISH THIS UP

REAL... AND THEN I'LL GO TO THE HAIR CHAIR.

WHAT I AM NERVOUS ABOUT IS SEEING LISA.

I FEEL LIKE, "WAH!"

I HAVEN'T SEEN LISA AND KEN IN MONTHS.

I WANT TO BE FRIENDS WITH THEM AND APOLOGIZE.

IT REALLY SUCKED THAT THEY BACKED OFF OF OUR FRIENDSHIP.

IT REALLY HURT MY FEELINGS.

- I DON'T THINK I COULD EVER LET YOU BACK INTO MY LIFE.

- YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU. [cries]

BUT I CARE ABOUT THEM IMMENSELY AND I WANT TO MOVE FORWARD.

- ARE WE DOING GLITTER?

- NO, WE DON'T NEED GLITTER. WE'LL SAVE GLITTER.

THAT'S ADRIENNE MALOOF'S DEAL.

I DON'T WANT TO STEAL HER GLITTER.

- THAT LOOKS GOOD, ALEXIA.

- YEAH? - YOUR EYE MAKEUP LOOKS PRETTY.

- WAIT, CAN I PICK OUT MY NAIL POLISH?

- YOU'RE NOT WEARING NAIL POLISH.

WE'RE TAKING YOUR NAIL POLISH OFF.

WHAT DO YOU NEED ME TO DO?

- I'M GETTING READY. DO YOU LIKE THESE?

- I DO.

OKAY? - MWAH.

YOU LOOK HOT.

- READY?

- HI.

WELL, EAT YOUR DINNER, AND THEN...

I KNOW YOU GUYS LIKE FISH.

[both laughing]

HI, GIRLS.

- HELLO. - WAIT, HONEY.

- YEAH. - SHOULD WE HAVE THEM THERE

RIGHT NOW? OR ON THE PLATFORM OVER THERE?

- UNTIL YOU HAVE MUSIC OVER THERE,

UNTIL YOU TURN IT UP, YOU NEED TO HAVE THEM HERE.

- RIGHT. - YOU CAN'T HAVE THEM

WITHOUT MUSIC.

- THERE'S TONS OF FOOD BEING PASSED,

THERE'S A SUSHI BAR, WE HAVE A FATBURGER TRUCK COMING.

MOHAMED.

- KYLE.

- HOW ARE YOU? - I WAS JUST SAYING,

"WHO IS THAT WOMAN IN THAT BEAUTIFUL..."

- MM. HOW ARE YOU?

- "MOST GORGEOUS DRESS?" - HOW ARE YOU?

- WOW, PRETTY.

HI, GUYS.

- HI, HOW ARE YOU? MWAH.

- THANK YOU, GOOD. - NICE TO MEET YOU, AS WELL.

- HI, HOW ARE YOU? - YOLANDA, HOW ARE YOU?

- MMM. - HOW ARE YOU?

Both: NICE TO SEE YOU.

- GLAD YOU MADE IT. - OF COURSE.

- HI, GORGEOUS GIRLS.

- HEY!

- WOW. FANTASTIC.

- YAY, LOOK HOW GREAT THIS IS.

- HI. - HI.

- HOW ARE YOU? - HEY.

- HOW ARE YOU? NICE TO SEE YOU.

- IT'S SO GOOD TO SEE YOU. - YOU LOOK GREAT.

IT'S SO GOOD TO SEE YOU.

- HI. - HELLO!

- ELIZABETH. - NICE TO SEE YOU.

- MMM. - I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE HERE.

- ME TOO. - SO GOOD TO SEE YOU.

- WE ARE READY TO HAVE FUN TONIGHT.

- COME ON IN. - I GOT YOU A FUN BOOK.

- OH, NO, NOT AGAIN.

WHAT IS THIS?

A PICTURE OF US?

HUGGING? - I WISH.

- A BOOK.

"HOW TO BEHAVE AND WHY."

- [laughs]

- SO NOW... - I'M GLAD WE MOVED

THROUGH THAT, AND MOVED PAST... - "I SEE YOU MADE AN EFFORT."

- [laughs] - "COMPLIMENTS, INDIGNITIES,

AND SURVIVAL STORIES FROM THE EDGE OF 50."

[all laughing] - CUTE.

WHAT A COOL COVER. - THAT IS SO CUTE.

THANK YOU. - THAT IS REALLY CUTE.

- MWAH. - YOU KNOW IT'S A JOKE, RIGHT?

- I KNOW IT'S A JOKE. - IT'S FUN, IT'S...

- CAMILLE AND I STARTED OFF

PROBABLY WANTING TO KILL EACH OTHER.

- YOU SAID IT TO ME. YOU SAID IT.

- I NEVER TALKED LIKE THAT. - I WOULDN'T MAKE THAT UP.

- YOU'RE SUCH A [bleep]ING LIAR, CAMILLE.

AND NOW, TO BE SUCH GOOD FRIENDS,

YOU JUST LOOK BACK AND THINK,

"WHAT A WASTE OF TIME THAT ARGUING WAS."

- I LIKE THE PINK PANTIES. - I LOVE THE PINK PANTIES TOO.

I'M GONNA HAVE TO GET SOME OF THOSE.

- AND I ACTUALLY WANT TO READ IT.

- OH, LOOK, IT'S WHITE CARPET. I LIKE THAT.

- OH, YEAH, NICE. - THIS IS A GOOD START.

LOOK HOW PRETTY IT LOOKS.

- OH, YEAH, NICE. - THIS IS A GOOD START. - YOU DON'T EVEN...

WHAT? - YES!

- DID YOU JUST SAY THE "P" WORD? - IT'S BRIGHT PINK.

- YES, YOU'RE ALLOWED TO SAY THAT IN ENGLAND.

DO YOU WANT TO SEE IT? - YEAH, I DO.

- THEN GO ON. GO PUT YOUR HEAD UNDER THERE.

- OKAY, LET ME SEE IT TOO. - I'M JOKING.

OH, FOR GOD'S SAKE. - [laughs]

- MY DOG'S PINK, SO WHY SHOULDN'T MY PUSSY BE?

[dance music]

- HI, TINY DANCER.

♪♪ ♪♪

- YOU LOOK SO BEAUTIFUL.

HOW IS EVERYTHING NOW? HOW IS THE RESTAURANT?

- EVERYTHING... - I THINK PUMP LOOKS GREAT.

I THOUGHT IT LOOKED SO PRETTY. - IT WAS SO MUCH WORK.

- LOOK AT THIS. - WHAT?

- OH, MY GOD. - OKAY, THAT'S FUN.

- OKAY, GET IN THERE. THE OLD CAMILLE I KNEW

WOULD BE IN THERE. - [laughs]

- SHAKING YOUR BOOBIES. - THAT WAS ME THREE YEARS...

THREE YEARS AGO.

- HI. OR WERE YOU WERE GONNA

SHAKE MY HAND? - [laughs]

- LOVE SHAKING HANDS. - [laughs]

- HELLO.

- I WAS THINKING THAT WE SHOULD JUMP IN THE POOL TONIGHT.

WHAT DO YOU THINK? - WELL THEN YOU GO FIRST.

I'LL BE RIGHT BEHIND YOU. - [all laughing]

- NO, I'M HOLDING YOUR HAND WHEN I JUMP.

WELL, LISA HAS A HARD TIME TO SAY "I'M SORRY."

I ACCEPT HER FOR WHO SHE IS AND WHAT SHE IS.

YOU KNOW, LIFE GOES ON. ONCE YOU ACCEPT SOMEBODY

FOR WHO THEY ARE, YOU KNOW, YOU CAN MOVE ON.

AND I MOVED ON A LONG, LONG TIME AGO.

- TAYLOR. - YOU KNOW...

- LOOK AT YOU. - WHOA, TAYLOR'S HERE?

- LOOK AT YOU. - OH, MY GOD.

- LOOK AT YOU. - I AM!

- UNDO WITH THAT, WE'RE MARRIED. - HI!

AW. all: AWW.

- ARE YOU WORKING IT. - WELL, LOOK AT YOU, BABY.

WORKING IT OUT LIKE ALWAYS. - YEAH.

- HELLO. - HOW ARE YOU?

- HEY. HOW ARE YOU?

- HOW ARE YOU? - I'M GOOD, THANK YOU.

- HI, JOHN.

- HI. - [laughs]

both: MM.

- YAY. - YOU LOOK SO PRETTY.

- TAYLOR'S ALWAYS BEEN A GREAT FRIEND TO ME.

SHE'S NEVER STABBED ME IN THE BACK

AND SHE'S JUST A GOOD PERSON

AND SOMEONE WHO'S GONE THROUGH VERY DIFFICULT TIMES.

- I'M SCARED.

AND I LOVE HIM.

I DO.

- I'M GONNA BE FIGHTING FOR SOMETHING

THAT REALLY IS NOT WORTH FIGHTING FOR, TO BE HONEST.

AND NOW TO SEE HER HAPPY AND MARRIED,

AND KENNEDY HAVING A GREAT STEPDAD WHO'S ADOPTED HER,

IT JUST, YOU KNOW, IT'S AMAZING. I LOVE IT.

- IT'S NICE TO BE AROUND WITH OUR GROUP OF FRIENDS AGAIN.

I MEAN, 'CAUSE I WAS AWAY IN TEXAS GETTING MY CANCER SURGERY

AND TREATMENTS, AND YOU WERE GONE IN COLORADO.

IT'S NICE TO SEE EVERYBODY. - NOW WE'RE BACK,

AND YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO SHAKE US.

[all laughing]

- OH, I'VE GOTTA GO BACK TO ENGLAND TO GET RID OF YOU.

- YOU HAVE TO REALLY HOLD ME

BECAUSE THIS STUFF IS HARD TO WALK ON WITH HEELS.

HI, HOW ARE YOU? - GREAT.

- HI, NICE TO SEE YOU. - WELCOME.

- THANK YOU.

- HI, GUYS. - OH, MY GOSH.

- HOW ARE YOU? - HOW ARE YOU, HONEY?

- ARE YOU COMING? - YEAH.

- OH, MY GOD, WHAT, LIKE, WE DIDN'T BR...

THEY HAVE THREE GIFTS.

- THAT'S WHAT I SAID. - NO, WE NEVER BRING GIFTS.

- THAT'S WHY I WAS LIKE...

- HI, GUYS!

- HI!

- HOW CUTE DO YOU LOOK. - OH, HOW ARE YOU?

HOW ARE YOU? - I'M GOOD.

- YOU'RE GOOD? - AH.

I'VE BEEN HAVING THE WORST ANXIETY TODAY.

THIS IS WHY WE WERE A LITTLE LATE.

- YOU HAD ANXIETY? WHY, HONEY?

- JUST WITH ALL OF THESE LOVELY PEOPLE

THAT I HAVEN'T SEEN FOR SO LONG.

- NO.

ADRIENNE AND I HAD A FALLING OUT.

- WHY DO YOU LIE? - NO.

- THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU.

- GET YOUR FINGER OUT OF MY FACE.

- NO, NO, NO. MY FINGER'S NOT IN YOUR FACE.

- REALLY? HOW... OH, ARE YOU KIDDING?

- NO, ARE YOU KIDDING ME? - ARE...

- SHE HAS. - MORE COMMENTS WHEN YOU HAVE

A SMILE ON YOUR FACE? - ON MY CHILDREN.

- YOU ARE LYING. - I GUESS YOU WEREN'T DOING

ANYTHING. - REALLY, I'M LYING?

- DON'T DO THAT ON YOUR CHILDREN.

- BUT WHY DID YOUR... REALLY?

I'M AM NOT LYING, BITCH.

- YOU LIE. - [bleep] YOU.

- YOU'RE A PIECE OF [bleep].

- I REVEALED SOMETHING I SHOULDN'T HAVE SAID,

AND SHE TALKED ABOUT MY FAMILY IN WAYS SHE SHOULDN'T HAVE.

IT WAS JUST A REALLY DISASTROUS, NEGATIVE SITUATION TO BE IN

FOR BOTH OF US.

- THERE'S ADRIENNE.

- WHERE IS ADRIENNE?

- MY GOD.

COME ON, WE'VE GOT TO SAY HI. - OKAY.

- OH.

OH! - OH.

- [bleep] IT. LET'S JUST DO IT.

- THERE'S NO EASY WAY TO DO IT.

- COMING UP...

- I SEE YOU SOCIALLY. I SAW YOU AT POLO.

I SEE YOU HERE AND THERE. I'M LIKE, "AH."

AND I DON'T WANT IT TO BE WEIRD WITH US.

- DO YOU... WILL YOU ORDER YOUR SISTER A FATBURGER?

SHE LIKES KETCHUP ONLY AND PICKLES.

- NO. THAT'S NOT MY TASTE.

- THAT'S NOT YOUR TASTE? - OKAY.

[laughs] - TELL ME YOUR TASTE.

- CAN I HAVE ONLY FRENCH FRIES?

- ONLY FRENCH FRIES.

- PORTIA HAS FOUND HER VOICE.

SHE IS SIX YEARS OLD, GOING ON 35,

AND SHE WAS NO PROBLEM SAYING WHAT SHE WANTS,

WHEN SHE WANTS IT, AND HOW SHE'S GONNA GET IT.

- SHE SAID YES. - OH, WOW.

PORTIA, LICKETY-SPLIT,

YOUR SISTER HAS TWO FATBURGERS FOR YOU GUYS.

- WAIT. - YOU AND ELLIE...

- THIS IS NOT HOW WE LIKE IT, MOM.

- NO, WAIT. - THIS IS NOT HOW YOU LIKE IT?

- BUT THIS HAS NO PICKLES ON IT.

- I'LL BE TAKING THAT. THANK YOU.

- I KNOW, I'M STARVING. - YOU KNOW WHAT?

YOU BETTER LET YOUR MOM HANDLE THIS.

- ALL RIGHT, OKAY, COME ON, LET'S GO.

YOU READY? - YEAH.

EW.

I DON'T LIKE TOMATOES AND LETTUCE.

- [bleep] IT. LET'S JUST DO IT.

- THERE'S NO EASY WAY TO DO IT.

- HELLO. - OH, LOOK WHO'S HERE.

- OH, MY GOD. - [laughs]

- HI, HELLO.

- I JUST SAW YOU OVER THERE.

- HOW ARE YOU? OH, MY GOSH.

- HI. - SO WEIRD.

- HI, HOW ARE YOU? - HOW ARE YOU?

- GOOD. - HI.

- HI, HOW ARE YOU? - OH, MY GOD.

YOU LOOK FABULOUS. - HELLO.

- IT'S REALLY UNCOMFORTABLE WITH LISA AND ADRIENNE

BEING IN THE SAME SPOT WHEN I GO TO SAY HELLO.

- IT'S SO GOOD TO SEE YOU.

- BUT THIS IS SO WEIRD. - SO GOOD TO SEE YOU.

- HI, HOW ARE YOU? - WOW, THAT'S HOT.

- YEAH. - LOOKING BEAUTIFUL.

- YOU KNOW, YOU JUST FEEL LIKE AN OUTSIDER,

LIKE A... LIKE YOU'RE IN HIGH SCHOOL AND THEY'RE IN A CLIQUE

AND YOU'RE NOT INVITED IN. AND IT'S LIKE,

NOT COOL.

- WHAT? - I KNOW.

- THIS IS SO FUNNY. - I KNOW, IT'S SO WEIRD.

- [laughs] - LIKE OLD TIMES.

- I KNOW. - RIGHT?

- YEAH. - THIS IS UNCOMFORTABLE.

- [laughs] - I KNOW.

I'M REALLY BLESSED.

- I MEAN, HOW ARE YOU 75 AND ROLLING YOUR EYES?

- WHAT'S GOING ON?

- NOTHING. - NOTHING?

- JUST HANGING OUT WITH KATHERINE.

- YOU'RE JUST HANGING OUT AT THE BAR?

- MARTIN. - [laughs]

- HOW ARE YOU? - I'M GOOD, HOW ARE YOU?

- GOOD. - MM.

- I AM NOT COMFORTABLE.

I'M NOT PART OF THE CLUB ANYMORE.

I FEEL LIKE I'VE BEEN EXCOMMUNICATED FROM THE GIRLS

BECAUSE LISA THE GODDESS SAID I HAVE TO G.O.

IT'S LIKE MEAN GIRLS WITH LINDSAY LOHAN,

BUT THEY'RE ALL 78.

- HI, HOW ARE YOU? - HI, GOOD.

- THIS IS DEFINITELY REMINISCENT FROM WHEN I WAS ON CRUTCHES

AND I FIRST MET THIS GROUP OF WOMEN.

- WHY WOULD YOU WEAR A STILETTO WHEN YOU HAVE A BROKEN LEG?

- EXCUSE ME. IT'S A WEDGE!

- NO, WAIT, WHEN YOU... - SO YOU CAN LOSE YOUR BALANCE

AND GET ANOTHER BROKEN LEG.

- [laughs] - THAT IS SO BITCHY.

I LOVE IT. - [laughs]

- AND SHE FELL OFF HER SHOE.

- I'M TRYING TO BE THE GROWN-UP HERE,

AND THAT'S LIKE A FIRST FOR ME.

- YOU ARE, BUT YOU SHOULD BE A LITTLE MORE, LIKE, ASSERTIVE.

- I DON'T WANT TO.

- DUDE, I, LIKE, I'VE HAD... - WELL, YOU SHOULD.

- I'M... I'M IN, LIKE, A PEACEFUL PLACE.

I GOT ENOUGH [bleep]ING STRESS IN MY LIFE.

[sighs]

- DR. THOMAS MARINARO?

- YEAH, HE'S ON THE LIST. - OKAY.

- THAT'S MY CHIROPRACTOR.

- WAIT, ADRIENNE, HOW OLD'S YOUR BOYFRIEND?

HE'S SO CUTE. - [laughs]

- HE'S OLD ENOUGH. - HE'S OLD ENOUGH TO DRINK.

THAT'S ALL THAT MATTERS. - OLD ENOUGH TO KNOW

HOW TO HAVE A GREAT RELATIONSHIP.

- HE CAN DRIVE. - IT'S NOT ABOUT A NUMBER.

IT'S ABOUT WHETHER YOU JUST... - NO, WE KNOW YOU'RE SO HAPPY.

- I KNOW 50-YEAR-OLD MEN THAT ACT LIKE THEY'RE...

- HELLO. - 18.

OH, YEAH, I'M SORRY... - MY EX-HUSBAND!

[both laughing]

- I'M HAPPY TO SEE ADRIENNE.

SHE'S RUNNING AROUND WITH A LITTLE BUSH BETWEEN HER LEGS.

THAT LITTLE BUSH BEING JACOB BUSCH, HER NEW BOYFRIEND.

IF SHE'S HAPPY AND SHE'S GOT THAT SMILE ON HER FACE,

THEN I'M HAPPY FOR HER

BECAUSE SHE WAS A BIT OF A MOODY OLD COW WHEN SHE WAS WITH PAUL.

- WOW, THOSE SHOES MAKE A LOT OF NOISE.

- THIS IS SO FUNNY. - I KNOW.

- LOOK AT ALL THE PEOPLE IN FRONT OF...

- I KNOW. - IS THIS LIKE, WOW.

- I KNOW, RIGHT? - WHO ARE WE MISSING HERE?

- WHO IS ALWAYS MISSING?

- KIM! - WHERE'S KIM?

- WAIT, ONE, TWO, THREE...

WHERE'S KIM?

- WHERE'S KIM?

- WHERE IS KIM?

- WAIT, WHERE'S KIM? - WHERE'S KIM?

- KIM IS M.I.A., AS USUAL.

- THERE'S SOMETHING MISSING.

I THINK I FOUND IT. - [laughs]

- WOW! - HI!

- WOW. - OH, MY GOSH.

- WELL, THE HAIR DOES GOOD. I HAVE TO ADMIT, THOUGH.

- HI. - HOW ARE YOU?

- GOOD, HOW ARE YOU? - WE WERE JUST SAYING

SOMETHING WAS MISSING. - HI.

- HI, HOW ARE YOU? MWAH.

- I DON'T DO CONFLICT, REALLY.

USUALLY. [laughs]

I LOOK FORWARD TO PUTTING ALL THAT BEHIND US.

IF WE HAVEN'T ALREADY. OR DID WE?

THIS IS REMINDING ME OF SOMETHING.

- [laughs] - OH, ISN'T IT?

- RIGHT? - NOW SAYING SOMEBODY'S INSECURE

DOESN'T SEEM SO DRAMATIC. - BING.

[all laugh]

- THAT WAS SUCH A [bleep]ING... - I CAN SAY NOW ON IT'S SECURE.

[all laugh]

- WE'RE HERE. THANK GOD.

LISA RINNA AND HARRY HAMLIN.

HEY! - HELLO.

- HELLO!

HI. AW.

HI, HONEY. HI, MY FAVORITES.

OH, MY GOSH, HI.

I REMEMBER YOLANDA GOING ON AUDITIONS AND CASTINGS AND

SHE WOULD WALK IN THE ROOM, AND THE WHOLE...

EVERYBODY WOULD BE LIKE, "OH, MY GOD, THERE'S YOLANDA."

[gasps] AND THE WHOLE ROOM WOULD STOP

BECAUSE SHE WAS THE IT GIRL, LIKE SUPERMODEL.

THROUGHOUT THE '90s, AND I WOULD SEE HER AROUND, YOU KNOW,

WHEN SHE WAS MARRIED TO MOHAMED.

- HELLO. - HELLO!

- HI! - CAMILLE!

- HOW ARE YOU? - LISA!

SO GOOD TO SEE YOU. - IT'S SO GOOD TO SEE YOU.

HOW ARE YOU? - GREAT, GREAT.

- IF YOU SPEND ENOUGH TIME IN THIS TOWN...

DARLING!

THANK YOU, GIRL. MY LITTLE TURTLE MAMA.

YOU KNOW EVERYBODY.

AND HOW ARE YOU? EVERYTHING GOOD?

- YEAH, IT'S BEEN BUSY, CRAZY, DOING PUMP.

WE'RE GETTING IT ALL TOGETHER. - THREE RESTAURANTS?

- YEAH, WHATEVER, YEAH, EXACTLY. - WHY?

YOU KNOW, WHEN I FIRST MET LISA,

I HAD NO IDEA THAT LISA VANDERPUMP WAS AS RICH AS SHE IS

UNTIL WE STARTED TO GO TO SUR

AND SHE WOULD COME OUT IN THIS DIAMOND NECKLACE

THAT I'LL NEVER FORGET,

AND I REMEMBER LOOKING AT HARRY AND SAYING,

"THEY'RE FILTHY RICH."

[laughs]

HELLO, GORGEOUS. - HOW ARE YOU?

- MWAH. HI, BABY.

- I'M SO SWEATY, I'M SORRY. - YOU ARE, BUT IT FEELS SO GOOD.

- I'M GOING TO WIPE DOWN.

- LOOK AT YOUR BOOBS.

- WHAT CAN I SAY? - GOD, YOU HAVE SUCH GOOD BOOBS.

CAN I JUST TOUCH THEM? THEY'RE SO GOOD.

- AH!

- YOU CAN TOUCH MINE. - IS THAT RIGHT?

- I NEED TO GO DRY OFF. I'M SO SWEATY.

I'LL BE BACK. - [laughs]

- HEY! - WHAT KIND OF HUSBANDS ARE YOU?

YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE GETTING US A DRINK.

- HELLO, DARLING.

- THEY'RE GOING.

- WHO'S GOING? - YEAH, WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO GO

IN A MINUTE 'CAUSE... - NO, YOU'RE NOT GOING.

- BUT IT'S THE WRAP PARTY.

- WE HAVE TO GO TO THE MAD MEN WRAP PARTY.

- OH. - FOR THE WHOLE SERIES.

IT'S THE SERIES WRAP PARTY. - OH, REALLY?

- YEAH, THE WHOLE SERIES IS OVER TONIGHT.

- HARRY, HE'S JUST A NICE MAN.

HE'S A GOOD HUSBAND AND A GOOD FATHER,

AND I HAVE A LOT OF RESPECT FOR THEM AND THEIR RELATIONSHIP.

IT SOUNDS LIKE I LOVE HIM SO MUCH I WANT TO SWING WITH THEM.

I DON'T. I JUST THINK THEY'RE GREAT.

[laughs]

- I'M NOT GOING UP TO ADRIENNE IF SHE'S WITH LISA.

- WHERE IS SHE? I DON'T SEE.

- WHERE IS SHE AT?

SHE'S OVER THERE.

- WHERE? I'M NOT GOING OVER THERE.

- TALKING TO KIM. - WHERE?

- SHE'S NOT WITH LISA. LISA'S OVER HERE.

- BUT WHERE?

- OVER THERE WHERE THAT LIGHT IS.

- I HONESTLY DON'T HAVE TIME FOR PETTY BULL[bleep].

I WAS POSITIVE PEOPLE AROUND ME,

AND IF YOU'RE GONNA GO BACK AND BE LIKE, "WOE IS ME,

YOU SAID THIS OR THIS, AND IT HURT MY FEELINGS,"

I CAN'T... LISTEN, LET'S SIT DOWN WITH ADRIENNE, SQUASH IT,

AND MOVE ON.

- WHAT IS YOUR NAME AGAIN? I'M SORRY.

- JACOB. - JAKE.

- JACOB? - YES.

- YEAH. I CALL HIM MR. JAKE.

- YEAH. [laughs]

- HOLD MY HAND BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO FALL.

I'M AFRAID THAT I'M NOT GONNA STAY IN CONTROL

AND I'M AFRAID THAT I'M GONNA SNAP.

AND BE LIKE, "WELL, YOU DID THIS, TOO."

BLA BLA, LIKE, BLA BLA BLA.

I KNOW ME, AND I CAN GO THERE.

LIKE THE LITTLE ANOREXIC, BARKING CHIHUAHUA.

[barks like a Chihuahua]

- YEAH, SO...

AND... RIGHT? - THAT'S GOOD.

- BEAUTIFUL NIGHT.

- SO...

- WHERE YOU GOING? YOU'RE NOT LEAVING.

- NO, WE'RE NOT LEAVING.

BUT... - YOU'RE NOT.

- I WOULD LOVE TO HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH YOU.

DO YOU MIND?

I'M SORRY, I'M, LIKE, I'M SWEATING.

I'M NERVOUS. IS IT OKAY?

- YEAH, NO WORRIES. - OKAY.

WHAT I WANT FROM ADRIENNE IS NOT TO BE BEST FRIENDS

AND JUST TO MOVE FORWARD, AND IT WON'T BE AWKWARD

FOR EVERYONE AROUND US.

THANK YOU FOR SITTING WITH ME.

I FEEL LIKE MAYBE WE DON'T DO THIS CHAIR BECAUSE

LAST TIME WE DID THIS CHAIR... - OH, I REMEMBER THIS CHAIR.

- LET'S JUST DO THIS SIDE.

- YOU'RE A LOOSE CANNON BECAUSE YOU JUST SAY WHATEVER YOU HEAR.

- YOU JUST SAY WHATEVER'S ON YOUR MIND.

- WELCOME TO THE UNITED [bleep]ING STATES OF AMERICA.

- EVERY SINGLE... LET'S STOP.

- LET'S... LET'S... - STOP.

- IT'S GOING IN A CIRCLE - STOP, STOP, STOP, STOP,

STOP, STOP, STOP.

- I JUST WANT TO SAY TO YOU, I DON'T WANT TO DO...

I DON'T WANT TO HAVE A MAJOR CONVERSATION HERE.

I THINK IT... I THINK IT GOES BOTH WAYS

MAKING EACH OTHER ANGRY AND IT'S NEVER GOOD TO BE ANGRY.

- COMING UP...

- I DON'T REALLY WANT TO GO DANCE.

- I DON'T HAVE ANY ANGER TOWARDS BRANDI.

I KIND OF FEEL SORRY FOR HER

BECAUSE I KNOW I'M A [bleep]ING GOOD FRIEND.

- IT'S NEVER GOOD TO BE ANGRY.

I KNEW YOU WERE COMING TONIGHT,

AND I'VE JUST BEEN ANXIOUS ALL DAY,

AND I WOULD LOVE TO EXPLAIN CERTAIN THINGS TO YOU,

I DON'T WANT TO DO IT HERE. UM...

- WELL, IT'S NOT APPROPRIATE TO DO IT HERE.

- RIGHT.

CAN... CAN I TAKE YOU TO COFFEE?

- LET'S DO THAT.

- I WAS SHOCKED THAT SHE WAS REALLY RECEPTIVE,

'CAUSE SHE KNOWS KARATE, AND SHE COULD'VE HURT ME.

HOPEFULLY.

THIS IS SINCERE. - YEAH, WE'LL HAVE COFFEE.

LET'S DO THAT. - OKAY.

OKAY, THAT'S A GOOD... GOOD THING. - YES.

[dance music]

- ADRIENNE! BRANDI?

KIM!

CAMILLE, TAYLOR. WHERE'D LISA GO?

IT WAS REALLY FUN TO SEE CAMILLE, ADRIENNE, TAYLOR,

YOLANDA, LISA, KIM, ALL OF US TOGETHER.

NOW, OBVIOUSLY, THERE'S TIMES WE HAVEN'T GOTTEN ALONG,

BUT WHEN YOU HAVE THAT HISTORY TOGETHER,

THERE'S ALWAYS GONNA BE THAT BOND.

♪♪ ♪♪

- I DON'T REALLY WANT TO GO DANCE.

THERE'S DEFINITELY A LITTLE BIT OF NEGATIVE ENERGY

AT THIS PARTY BECAUSE LISA HAS A HARD TIME

FORGIVING AND FORGETTING.

I DON'T WANT THAT TO BE, BECAUSE I'M GENUINELY SORRY,

AND... YOU KNOW, IT GOES BOTH WAYS.

- THANK YOU SO MUCH. - YOU'RE WELCOME.

- HEY, OMAR, HOW WAS THE GAME? - YOU GUYS HAVE A GOOD TIME?

- YEAH, GOOD, THANKS. - THANK YOU.

I DON'T HAVE ANY ANGER TOWARDS BRANDI.

I KIND OF FEEL SORRY FOR HER,

BECAUSE I KNOW I'M A [bleep]ING GOOD FRIEND,

AND I AM THERE WHEN YOU NEED ME.

NO, NO, NO, SHE BURNED THAT BRIDGE.

- NEXT TIME, ON THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS...

- THE SAME TIME. - UGH!

- THAT IS... - SWEET.

- I LIKE THE ENERGY THE YOUNG GUNS HAVE.

- HI, MY LOVE. - WOW.

- [laughs]

- I'M SPEECHLESS. I DON'T WANT WHAT TO SAY.

- HOW WOULD HE EVER KNOW THIS IS US?

THEY WON'T EVEN KNOW WHO WE ARE.

WE'RE GONNA LOOK VERY, VERY DIFFERENT.

[chuckles]

- I SWEAR, I THINK HE'S COMING.

- OH, MY GOD. - I SWEAR TO GOD.

- OH, THIS IS A GOOD PART FOR ME.

"SHE'S TRYING TO STAY YOUTHFUL AND RELATABLE,

WITH HIGHLIGHTS." - OOH, WITH HIGHLIGHTS.

[both laughing]

- I'LL DO ANYTHING TO MAKE A BUCK.

I DON'T SAY NO VERY MUCH. I SAY YES.

- THERE WAS SO MUCH NASTINESS.

JUST REMEMBER WHO CERTAIN PEOPLE ARE

AND WHAT THEY'RE CAPABLE OF.

WHEN THAT LOYALTY IS GONE

IS IT AIR KISSING? BULL[bleep].

- I'M ACTUALLY GOING TO MEET ADRIENNE MALOOF.

- OH, MY GOD.

- I WANT TO BE ON MY BEST BEHAVIOR,

AND I DON'T TRUST MYSELF.

- HI, WELCOME TO RIVE GAUCHE. - HI, HOW ARE YOU?

- TO LEARN MORE ABOUT THE HOUSEWIVES,

GO TO BRAVOTV.COM.

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