Original subtitles

- Look. Papa. - I see it.

A train.

I told you I see it, Juan. Don't provoke me.

We rob it?

No. we go to Friendly. Oh. you idiot.

On trains there's nothing but cattle and mailbags.

Good old 98. right on time.

Glad some things in this hell we call a world can still be depended on.

[SINGING “BRINGING IN THE SHEAVES"I

Bless you. my flock.

Mine ears have heard the glory.

- Hallelujah. - Hallelujah.

Hallelujah.

Why? Why me?

Why do they make me do these things?

Drop your gun.

Hurry up. Hurry up. Hurry up.

The gold's loaded. We had to kill all the guards.

That's the price we have to pay.

Come on. let's move.

Dear children. attention.

We have been spared by God. However. the supply is not inexhaustible.

- Hallelujah. - Hallelujah.

Let us move quickly onward toward Friendly.

- Sister Lyda. your bird is askew. - Bless you.

[ALL SINGING “BRINGING IN THE SHEAVES"I

Head for Las Trinas across the border. Lay low till we get there.

Me and Jeb'll take the gold into Friendly.

How come we don't go with the gold?

Because you can't be trusted, that's why.

Now. damn it all. move.

Scum of the earth.

Once again. dear children. Lift your voices to the Lord.

Hallelujah.

Again.

Sister Lyda's ass is dragging.

So is the Reverend Pious Blue's.

Would the Reverend Pious please tell me why we have to do this?

Would Sister Lyda please tell me how else we could rob this bank?

So he wouldn't trust us.

Should have told him.

- You should have told him. - Kind of late now. isn't it?

Well. I reckon it's you...

and you and you and you.

And you.

- What do you want? - I'm taking you back with me to El Paso.

Now. why would you wanna be taking me back to El Paso?

Maybe for stealing a little gold...

or maybe for killing a bunch of folks on a train near Friendly.

Now. I'd admire for you to come along peaceful.

Hey. Pat.

He'd admire.

And you.

Big town.

Got a railroad.

Got a church.

Must have a bank.

A big bank.

Speak English.

- Yes! - Again.

- Yes. - Okay. get going.

Just like you said. Kinkaid. Easy pickings.

Yes. well. We try to service our customers.

- Helps bring new accounts. - That's just dandy...

but how come we have to pay you interest?

Now. Slade...

the Younger brothers referred you here. I believe.

- I mean. didn't they explain all that? - Didn't give me no brochure.

If this bank is good enough for the James boys and the Daltons...

ought to be good enough for you.

Your deposits get absolute security in a bank that has never been robbed.

In fact. never could be robbed.

Its defenses were planned by professional bank robbers...

solely to service professional bank robbers.

Take that rope there. See it?

It's an alarm. Connects to a bell in the guard room upstairs.

Nights and Sundays when the bank is closed...

we tie it right there to that hook on the door.

And if anybody opens it. Look out. Maynard.

Rope goes taut...

bell rings upstairs.

We got guards up there with rifles and a couple of Gatling guns.

They're on duty night and day.

Harrison. Briggs.

- Duffy. Boys. - Mr. Kinkaid.

New shift coming on. Six guards out here.

Other thing is secrecy. Slade.

No marshal can check our accounts. And that's what you're paying for.

That and the expense of maintaining the image of a model township.

- Got it? - Nope.

I mean. how come no marshal can check your accounts?

Because the warrant has got to be signed by the mayor of the town.

So?

I'm the mayor.

Mr. Kinkaid.

Hurrah!

Thank you. boys.

Well. Reverend Sims. We surely are going to miss you.

Hey. you.

Now. you pick that up.

Yes!

I catch you littering one more time. I'll run you in.

Yes. I speak English.

I understand you got your start selling rifles to the Indians.

Is that right, Kinkaid?

I won't even dignify that question with an answer.

Past is past.

How does he stand himself?

We going or staying?

Staying-

I just don't trust him with my gold.

Notice his eyes?

Set real close together.

Bye. we'll miss you.

- Bye. - So sorry I'm late.

My dear Reverend Sims. permit me to say on behalf of the townspeople...

the deep sadness we feel on this occasion.

[CHOIR SINGING “ONWARD. CHRISTIAN SOLDIERS"I

Hey. you!

We go to Friendly.

Bring me my horse.

[CHOIR SINGING “ONWARD. CHRISTIAN SOLDIERS"I

All the luck in the world. Reverend.

Mayor Kinkaid. I don't like leaving here before my replacement.

Your replacement is here. Dear Reverend Sims.

Allow me to introduce Sister Lyda. Brother Jordan. Brother Dismas.

And I am the Reverend Pious Blue.

We've had an incredible experience.

Bullets were flying from all directions. Men were dropping like flies.

These clothes. I...

I just gotta get my clothes off.

Yes. dear.

You come with me.

Kneel. my children. Kneel and give thanks...

that we have been spared to do the work of God in Friendly.

And I also beg of you to put a P.S. to your prayers...

for the safe journey to Samoa of the Reverend Sims.

Look. perhaps I'd better stay here.

No, dear brother, no.

The Council Hierarchy was most anxious that you leave for Samoa at once.

Conditions are frightful.

Natives gone wild and sodden with wine.

Women as naked as leaves in a hurricane.

Well. why would the council send me?

Because your Lord hath said to my Lord:

“Nebuchadnezzar hath as concubines forbidden swarms of locusts.“

Hebrews 40. Verse 18.

Hebrews 40?

There are no 40 chapters in Hebrews.

And they said he wasn't up on scriptures.

You have passed the test, my son.

Good luck in Samoa.

Giddap.

Right this way. Reverend. The boys...

Bless you. Bless you all.

I know we're just going to love having you here. Sister Lyda.

And your cousin. the Reverend Blue.

Of course. He's even more than we expected.

- Yes. - I just know you're going to love it here.

Friendly's the friendliest little town in the whole Southwest.

Take cover inside the church. everybody.

Hurry up. inside. Quickly.

Take cover inside, please.

- What's going on there, Mrs. Applebee? - Just some idiots after the bank.

What?

Juan! Juan!

Papa. I don't have a horse!

Get him a horse.

Get him a horse.

There he is.

That's him. Ben Quick.

Mm-hm. Will he do it?

Oh. he'll do it, all right. If I give him the order...

but I'm hanged if I see why I should.

It's just plain loco, man. It's crazy.

- No other way. - Oh. shoot. come on now.

You're with the federal government.

You could issue a search warrant...

and let us get into that Kinkaid's bank with a dozen men.

And a federal warrant overrides any local ordinance.

And federal warrant cannot be issued on mere suspicion.

Must show cause. substantiation.

Ledgers. records of transactions.

They'd be in the vault.

I mean. why not just go in there and argue the legal fine points later?

Well. Kinkaid have very strong connections here in Texas.

If we are wrong and find nothing in the vault...

Howdy. stranger.

Iran into a little trouble. chief. but...

Ben. take off your badge.

Oh. yes. sir.

Got a new assignment for you. Ben.

The plan is all laid out and you're gonna have help.

Secret Service man from back East.

Ben. we want you to rob a bank.

And I still don't understand it.

Sister Lyda and those deacons.

Well. since when has the Unitarian Church had sisters and deacons?

- We are not Unitarians. - Oh. Uh!

But we've always been Unitarian here.

My dear. there is an ecumenical revolution in the land.

Nay. in the universe.

We must now spread the gospel of love through the Church of the Cosmic Heart.

Surely. you've heard of it, madam.

Oh. well. of course but...

How can we hope to attract new settlers. madam...

honest, decent families of varied religious persuasion...

when we engage in erecting barriers?

I trust the point is clear.

Oh. well. certainly.

Of course. I understand.

I must tend to my sheep.

Anon. dear lady.

Bye. Reverend.

Benjamin Smith?

- Yes. ma'am. - Knew it. Had to be you.

Welcome to Friendly. Mr. Smith.

I'm Mrs. Applebee, head of the welcoming committee.

- Thank you. - Lt's incredible. Talk of the town.

A custom laundry and domestic service.

Marvelous. What will they think of next?

Modern times.

We're here. fellas.

My. aren't they quaint?

Samoans?

No, ma'am. Chinese. Oh.

Well. Friendly's the land of opportunity.

Brethren...

my text for today is from the book of Numbers...

chapter 22. verse 1 through 20...

and begins with the words “Balaam had an ass.“

And Balaam rose up and saddled his ass and rode away.

And God was angry.

The ass saw the angel of the Lord standing out in the road.

The ass rode quickly around him and into a field.

And Balaam smote his ass.

The ass then saw the angel of the Lord again and fell down.

And Balaam smote his ass once more.

And the Lord opened the mouth of the ass...

and the ass said:

“Balaam. why dost thou smite me?“

And Balaam said to his ass:

“Because thou art my ass and thou hast mocked me.“

And the angel of the Lord said:

“Balaam. Wherefore hast thou smitten so thy ass?

I came here to withstand thee. For thy way is most perverse.“

And Balaam repented and cried out. “I rue that I ever smote my ass.

Yes. I have sinned.“

Brethren...

all of us are sinners.

Each one of us here has smited his ass.

We are unrighteous.

The fires of hell are being stoked for the man...

who would take what is his neighbor's.

Brethren. repent.

Do not smite your asses...

or the angel of God will come down upon us...

riding the lightning of his wrath.

And death and damnation await the unrighteous.

And with this. our second sweet meeting here at the Church of the Cosmic Heart...

let us ever recall that creation throbs.

And let us never forget that greatest of commandments:

Love thy enemy.

Beautiful sermon. Reverend. beautiful.

And so original.

But. I mean. that part about Balaam smiting his... You know what I mean.

Praise is more meaningful indeed...

when it comes from a woman of unsurpassed beauty.

Would you like me to come over and help put up your preserves?

Oh. Reverend Blue.

- Reverend Blue? - I'm at your service.

I'm new here. passing through.

I happened in and heard you speak.

I never cared too much for religion. But. well. what you said...

You yearn for instruction. my son. Is that it?

Do.

I give thanks.

Forgive me. dear lady. Duty calls.

You're a good man. Reverend Blue.

The work of conversion never ceases. Where the hell have you been?

Now. doesn't that just about tie all?

Doesn't it? Charging the bank on the Sabbath.

Scum.

How can I paint in this miserable light. Harry?

I'm not asking for The Blue Boy. Just the layout of the bank.

I want you all to meet Lilac Bailey...

a painter whose pictures have the tones of a Rembrandt...

the brush strokes of a Rembrandt. And the signature of a Rembrandt.

- I'm Dismas Osterkorn. dynamite. - Delighted.

Oh. careful. Have to take care of my hands. Like a violinist.

Jordan Cass. tunneling.

You must dig very deep tunnels.

Gentlemen. gentlemen. Kindly be seated. Time is a thief.

You just can't trust anyone these days.

Church. bank. tunnel.

To date. we're to here.

Jordan's an expert engineer.

Lyda Kabanov.

- Illusionist and forger. - How do you do?

And what a forger.

You would've been proud of her letter to that council of Churches...

to the Reverend Sims.

And you dynamite the vault?

Brother Dismas. with his sensitive little hands. never fails.

And how much do we split?

The vault holds 500.000 in gold.

We strike on the 4th of July. Timing it to Friendly's annual celebration.

- And how do we escape? - Leave that to me.

I have a foolproof plan.

May I ask what it is?

The Lord doth work in mysterious ways. Brother Lilac.

What's going on down there?

Big argument.

They've been arguing since we got here.

Can't help that. All of them are brothers. Also. remember famous quotation:

“Any man more right than all his neighbors make majority of one.“

Confucius saying?

Henry David Thoreau.

You're a mighty strange man. Eliot Fong.

Mighty strange.

Inscrutable. Just like all you Secret Service men.

Let me take a look down there.

I'll be...

Is that how far they've dug?

Didn't you tell me that those men were the best pick and shovelers in the West?

Champion railroad track team in the West. Union Pacific, Santa Fe...

Well. they're slow. They're too darn slow.

Awful lot of laundry coming in.

Ironing shirts not their regular work.

Robbing banks ain't exactly mine.

They're making that tunnel too big. I could ride my horse into that bank.

Dug railroad tunnels through mountains.

Epictetus say. “ lf...

Tell them to stop that arguing.

Ain't no way to run a railroad. boys.

Dumb foreigners.

Don't even speak English.

What's the problem?

We've got ourselves a slab of rock.

There's no telling how wide it runs. It might take a week to dig around it.

Quiet. now.

Good. We're in luck. I don't think it's too thick.

All right. All right. we can cut straight through with chisel and sledge...

but we'll need something to cover the noise.

The good Lord will provide.

Work till the sunlight fadeth

Work till the twilight's glow

Work for the night is coming

The good book tells me so

The good book tells me so

What the good book says is so

And when it tells you no

There are one or two or three ways

That you can go

You can beat your head against the wall

Hold your breath until you fall

Cross your eyes and start to bawl

But your head will suffer 'Cause the wall is tougher

And you'll get no place

No place at all

Or you can be a rainbow rider

A rainbow rider

I know your pride is 10 feet wide

But that old sky is wider

Riding rainbows Can make your cares seem small

And it sure beats beating your head

Against the wall

You can beat your head against the wall

Hold your breath until you fall

Cross your eyes and start to bawl

But your head will suffer 'Cause the wall is tougher

And you'll get no place, no place at all

Or you can be a rainbow rider

A rainbow rider

'Cause providence provides for him

Who is his own provider

Riding rainbows Can make you 9 miles tall

And it sure beats beating your head

Against the wall

You can beat your head against the wall

Hold your breath until you fall

Cross your eyes and start to bawl

But your head will suffer Because the wall is tougher

And you'll get no place, no place at all

Or you can be a rainbow rider

A rainbow rider

'Cause providence provides for him

Who is his own provider

Yeah!

Riding rainbows Can make you 9 miles tall

And it sure beats beating your head

Sure beats beating your head

Sure beats beating your head

Against the wall

Something familiar about that critter.

Think he's a lawman?

Why would a lawman be running a laundry?

Why would a man like me be a criminal?

Right.

You're the only human being I've ever trusted.

You've saved my life a dozen times.

- Right. - Right. Don't push your luck.

Now get to Las Trinas and let the boys know what we're up to.

Please. give it up.

No.

Papa.

No. now it is a matter of honor.

You're a very stubborn man.

Dedicated.

And very kind.

There ain't one of them alive.

What a world.

- What a world. - Who knew? Who knew?

Could have been Kinkaid.

If we get killed. he keeps the gold. That scum is capable of anything.

I don't care who it is. Let's get out of here. Let's get out of this town before...

Hey. wait a minute.

- Wait a minute. I'm starting... - What?

They said it was a big guy who got them.

A big Ranger.

Bigger than a silo.

Hello. laundryman.

Look at that handkerchief. Ruined.

And this here shirt, you lard-butt. Look at it.

Button's gone. A hole in it. Too much starch.

Now. this shirt's silk and it's tailor-made. And it's the third one you done ruined.

One more time there. Little Miss Laundryman...

and I'm gonna stomp on you.

Is that clear?

Yep.

I just don't like that kind of talk. Now. you say. “Yes. sir.“

Yes. sir.

That was for stalling.

Little Miss Laundryman.

- He sure didn't kill no six men of mine. - Let's go. Let's get out of this town.

How come you're so keen to haul my carcass out of Friendly?

Or is it to trick me out of Friendly and away from my gold?

This town's the safest place we can be till things cool off.

I'd like to settle here.

My foot.

My dear Mrs. Applebee. You dance divinely.

Oh. thank you. Reverend.

- Mrs. Applebee. - That's a waltz.

Well. Reverend. You dance as well as an angel.

- Still not quite good enough for a saint. - Reverend.

Oh. Brother Lilac.

He has taken the cloth.

You have a problem. my son?

It's something you mentioned in sermon. It's raised doubts.

- A point of theology? - Yes. It vexeth me.

Vexeth? Then come, we shall discuss it.

You will forgive me?

Do your duty. Reverend.

Your cousin is a conscientious man.

- The word is dedicated. - Right. Right.

A lot more dedicated men.

Having trouble with Lyda. She's getting restless.

There's a difference in age between us.

This is no good. Harry. I'm too far away.

I'd cut her loose, but she's like my arms, my fingers, me.

Harry. I've gotta get into the bank for a couple of hours to study details.

Harry. I've got to get inside.

Inside?

I'll make the arrangements tomorrow.

How?

You dare to ask that of a man who deals in miracles?

Harry. don't take that outfit so seriously.

I came up with miracles before I was in this business.

Enjoying yourself, young man?

What's your angle?

Punch?

What for?

Quicksand every place you turn.

- Thank you. Miss Lyda. - You're welcome.

Oh. this is so dull.

Hello there.

- It's what Harry wants, Lyda. - Right.

Sister Lyda...

why don't you go take some of the starch out of that young laundryman?

He looks scared half to death.

Want some? No, thanks.

- A cookie? - No, ma'am.

Well. have a tray. it's getting heavy.

Dance.

That dirt in the tunnel. it worries me.

What if we're seen hauling and dumping it?

Wait a moment.

Landscaping.

Dig a few holes for planting trees.

And where were you before you came to Friendly. Mr. Smith?

Oh. around.

Wandering?

Yep.

- Around? - Yep.

Well. I'm glad we cleared all that up.

I was beginning to get confused. Weren't you?

- How old are you, Miss Lyda? - Nope.

Beg your pardon, ma'am?

Oh! Oh.

Oh. you shouldn't have done that.

Well. I'm sorry. ma'am.

I mean. I'm real sorry.

I don't know what came over me all of a sudden.

You being such a fine lady and all.

Oh. Mr. Smith.

Well. I gotta go now.

I sure am sorry. ma'am.

Night. Miss Lyda.

Good night, Mr. Smith. Oh. Mr. Smith.

Did you like it?

Just because I talk slow don't mean I'm peculiar.

Your offer to pay for the planting of trees in the churchyard is being rewarded.

You've erected a leafy shrine to virtue. And we in return will enshrine you in oils.

This is but a humble return for your great generosity. sir.

And now. With all the talent at your command...

I beg of you. Brother Lilac...

I want you to capture every detail of our illustrious mayor's visage.

Uh-uh.

Didn't think we dug down that far.

Dismas is beginning to crack with too much confinement.

Says he hears voices in the tunnel.

There's nothing odd about that. It's a common phenomenon.

Joan of Arc heard voices.

Chinese?

No, I think French.

Now. what do you suppose they're carting away. people's sins?

Lilac. When will it be finished?

When it's done.

Dismas and Jordan have almost completed the tunnel.

Theirs is common labor. I'm creating a work of art.

But the entire operation depends on this.

Harry. I'm not going to have an inferior work of mine...

hanging in the bank.

If you don't hurry. the painter will be hung before the painting.

I don't find this amusing. Lyda.

I'm just happy.

She's just drunk.

Are you"?

- What are you eating? - Lt's candy.

It's Indian candy. I got it from a real fine Indian gentleman.

An Indian gentleman.

- Do you know what that is? - Mm-hm.

- What is it? - Peyote.

An Indian drug made out of cactus.

That stuffs dangerous.

- Poor baby. - Never take candy from her.

Faster. faster. faster.

They're planting trees.

It's just garden dirt they were dumping, that's all.

But it...

They're planting trees.

- You think so. huh? - What's that supposed to mean?

- It's just that... - Ls that some dig at my thinking?

It's funny they're dumping dirt at this time of night.

You garbage-mouthing hard-nose.

You wouldn't trust your mother as far as you can throw her.

How do you know that preacher ain't a crook?

How do you know he ain't tunneling up to that bank?

Jeb. how do you live with yourself?

You wanna tell me?

How can you live with yourself?

Why. you...

You're the one that don't trust nobody. You crazy as a...

Look. George. Now. George. George.

Look. George.

No, no. you're a baby.

You love the whole wide world.

You're smart. You're good. You're constantly giving of yourself.

You're a goddamn saint.

Hear me? You're a saint.

Except for that one time.

Must be somebody rushing the 4th of July.

Just like my brother.

Just like my father.

Why do I always kill the people I love?

Jeb. I've been thinking. and I'm willing to admit that you was right...

about me not trusting folks.

And I'm sorry.

And I hope that squares things between us.

A kid.

He was just a kid.

It's true. the good die young and the skunks live...

The dirty. yellow skunks live forever.

You don't.

Don't do that.

You're under arrest.

- What's the charge? - Littering.

All right. now move. I'm locking you up.

Nice going there, Jeb.

Why. the swine.

The filthy swine.

You know what he's doing?

He's trying to rob our bank.

Is this going on my record?

Found a place for dumping dirt.

- Save long time carrying. - Hallelujah.

Not so sure.

Hey. what is this?

Happy dumping ground.

So this is what you trained me for. huh?

This is it, my love.

Just keep him away from that tunnel for three hours.

And don't forget. Pump him for information.

And what if he attacks me?

That's a risk he'll have to take.

Whatever's going on. we'd better try to find out what it's all about.

You get onto that preacher. See what you can find out.

Nose around in that church.

I'll get onto Miss Lyda, see if I can pump her for some information.

Now. maybe that tunnel was there before they got here.

Maybe.

But tunnels and religion sure don't go together.

It's a beautiful day for a picnic. Mr. Smith. Isn't it. huh?

Yep.

Well. isn't it. huh?

Yep.

We'll pull out the shoring in the forward section and cause a cave-in.

- Delay them for at least a day. - Splendid.

Now all that has to be done is to lure the Chinese out of the laundry.

Yes?

Tell us about your Jesus.

I give thanks.

It's beautiful.

That's mighty fine peanut butter. ma'am.

Makes it kind of hard to talk. though.

Talk's pretty cheap. I always say.

I say it a lot, you know.

I mean. I say it an awful lot.

Hey. maybe you could tell me why I keep saying that.

The preacher your cousin. is he. ma'am?

Yep.

Know much about him?

Nope.

Why. is that a Saint Christopher medal?

- How long you been traveling with him? - Why. it is a Saint Christopher.

He been a preacher all his life. has he?

See?

I got one too.

You have?

Ma'am. I gotta tell you the truth.

I was just pretending to look at your medal because there ain't nothing there.

There ain't no medal there. it's gone.

Why, that's disgraceful. You ought to be ashamed of yourself.

Yep. I...

I just keep on taking advantage.

Somebody stole my medal.

I'm real ashamed. Come on. I'll take you back.

Oh. no. no.

I forgive you.

Vengeance is mine. sayeth the Lord.

Ma'am. I'm not what I seem to be...

and I just can't go on taking advantage of a girl like you.

Now. I'm not gonna let you go home without having some dessert.

Here.

Have some candy.

Loses a little in translation.

We've been spending an inordinate amount of time on a subject that's... No, my son.

It's out there.

Now. then.

What we have here is a failure to communicate.

Sure is funny candy. ma'am.

Kind of gets stuck in your brain instead of your teeth. huh?

- Kind of. - Yep.

- You noticed it too. huh? - Yep.

Sure is nice grass.

Feels like grass too.

Like velvet.

Yep.

Like sky.

- You going somewhere. ma'am? - Yep.

Kind of think we ought to stop being so all-fired proper, Miss Lyda.

Like. you can call me Benjamin. That's my first name.

- Benjamin. - Middle name's...

My middle name's grass or something.

I can't remember.

You sure got the prettiest eyes...

and things that ain't quite proper to talk about right now.

Doggone. you know. The first time I saw you, Miss Lyda...

I was just crazy about you.

Folks ought to talk about their feelings plain and simple-like...

and if they did. Might not be no more Indian wars.

Them kind of goings-on. Know what I mean, Miss Lyda?

You sure are pretty.

Ma'am. I just love you and I'm gonna find out who took your medal...

if I have to track him from here to Fort Wyoming and back.

Oh. you shut up.

My children. It is time for my hour of meditation.

- We come back later? - Please do.

In the meantime...

pray for the rapid conversion of your Emperor Kuang Hsu.

- Success? - Lt'll sure hold them up some.

Whoa. boy.

And you. my precious. What did he tell you?

Yep. nope and maybe.

- Papa. - Huh?

- Papa. - What?

Look.

Look. Papa.

Should we kill him?

Why should we kill him?

Well. I would like to kill someone.

I'm just getting...

a little restless.

Hold service at the fairgrounds over in Green Valley?

Yes.

Tomorrow being Sunday and the 4th. Why not a truly uplifting service?

With the kind indulgence of Mr. Gregory and his balloon...

I intend to give a sermon in the air.

In the air?

Oh! How perfectly delightful.

Stethoscope. whisk broom. sap. dynamite.

Ready.

- Ether. - Ready.

All right.

Remember, any noise can destroy us.

And most important. a new guard relieves the guard on the lower floor at 8 a.m.

So we must be aloft no later than 8. Eight.

Synchronize your watches.

Nine-oh-two.

Ready?

Now.

Cave-in all cleared up. We're very close now.

Close to what. Amarillo?

Oh. you're a very sad man.

Little bit stuck on lady bank robber?

I wonder if that reverend had anything to do with skunking up our tunnel?

- Wonder if he knows. - He sure knows plenty about Jesus.

Ben?

Benjamin.

Hi.

Hey. you know what I was wondering?

I was wondering whether or not...

you've ever seen a festival setting up before.

- Have you? - Nope.

Good.

Come on.

Mr. Smith?

Now. where did he go?

You real, real close to your cousin. Are you?

Yup.

Ever think about maybe leaving him?

- Candy? - No, ma'am.

The last time I ate one of those things I lost a whole day.

- But why tonight? - I don't know.

Mrs. Applebee says bring the fireworks out to the fairgrounds tonight.

Benjamin. stop. Stop right here.

Kiss me. Kiss me. Benjamin.

Yes. ma'am.

All right. Mark. Get the team. will you?

Hey. you.

Do you smoke cigars?

I mean yes.

Whoa. boy.

I'm gonna miss you, Mountain. I'm sure gonna miss you...

but I can't leave Harry. see? Because he needs me.

Not the way you do...

but. well. I been with him all these years. see?

And he kind of loves me in his way.

I figure I owe him.

We sure could make it if we had to...

Oh. Mountain.

Maybe. Mountain. maybe I could teach you the way Harry taught me.

Be kind of fun.

Bet we could make it.

But first thing I'd do is I'd make you lose some weight.

And second thing I'd do is I'd teach you not to make me do all the work.

Yeah.

I should give up smoking, that's all.

Are you let me go?

I'm letting you earn your keep.

Now. start in there and clean up this joint.

- Over there? - I'm gonna use your bunk for a while.

All you. the horses...

The fire's out!

Now I. Juan. am in command.

And Papa will see that the sins of the fathers...

are not going to also be the sins of the children.

I am a genius!

Here you are. Sam.

- It's hot. - Thanks. Duffy.

How's the card game going?

Oh. I gotta watch him like a hawk. He cheats.

All right.

Hey. Duffy.

- Duffy. - Yeah?

- Did you see something? - See what?

I ain't rightly sure. but I could swear I saw a naked woman riding on a horse.

Sam. you better drink some more coffee.

Duffy.

Duffy. You sure you didn't see nothing?

Nope.

But if that naked woman rides by again. Tell her I get off at 8. will you?

- Hey, what's doing down there, Sam? - I seen something.

What?

I ain't gonna tell you.

I know I saw her.

They're up there playing cards. What the hell do they know?

I know. I saw her.

Duffy.

Duffy.

- Now what? - I seen her again.

Did you give her my message?

Come on. Duffy. let's go.

How many do you want?

Oh. give me two.

Naked women. Oh. boy.

I saw her.

I know I saw her.

I saw her. I saw her.

I know I saw her.

Right.

Can't a man get some...

sleep in this place?

- Hell of an echo. - Yeah.

Happy 4th.

I bless this vault with all its contents.

Mr. Smith.

Mr. Smith.

Awful lot of quiet.

Something wrong about that cannon shot.

Felt like it was here in the bank. You'd better have a look. Ben.

Okay -

Just like I thought, you skunk.

You was trying to trick me.

Just tidying up, that's all.

Shh!

You go left.

Get them!

Is that the last?

One more.

Would you ask Rembrandt to do this?

Yes. You were always my second choice.

- Lyda. - Yeah?

Seven-ten.

- Lyda. Will you move your...? - Go ahead. I'll go with Jordan.

Women.

Morning. Reverend.

Looks like pretty heavy work there.

Faith can move mountains. Brother Kinkaid.

I love you.

Morning. sir.

All right, you gentlemen. You can move back now.

I appreciate your help. Move out. We're gonna be flying in a minute. Move back.

Come on. Jordan. You can finish in the carriage.

Oh. Mountain.

Hurry. Hurry.

Morning check.

Hey.

Sam.

Sam.

- Get him up. - Sam. what happened?

Hey.

“It's better to give than to receive. Reverend Blue.“

Mark. lock them up. all of them.

I'll go get the boys.

Hymn 20. “Store Up Thy Treasures In Heaven.“

Twenty. Take a peek at Hymn 108.

Hymnal book for you.

Thank you. madam. Lovely you came.

- Thank you. sir. - Lt's gonna be too heavy.

All right. now stay together. Come on.

- Where are Jordan and Lyda? - I don't know. We'd better get started.

Not without Lyda.

It's about time. What are you doing as an Easter egg?

- You're supposed to be wearing black. - Nothing else to wear.

- Everybody stand back now. - Get in. Get in the basket. Move.

We're gonna take off now.

- All right, everybody. - Stand back. Here we go.

- Lifting off. - Give me that. Get going.

- Get her up. get her up. - Stand back. cut those ropes.

- Hallelujah. everybody. - Sermon in the air is about to begin.

- Hey. those ropes. - Let's hear your voices.

- They're going. - Let her go.

You're being replaced.

What's going on?

- Reverend Blue robbed the bank. - What?

They're gonna make their getaway in the big balloon with all the loot.

They stole my gold.

Tell me I'm not seeing what I'm seeing.

I am a genius!

I am too much!

Papa!

Juan.

Look. Papa.

The bank is already robbed.

"Dalton Brothers, 40,000."

Second chorus.

- Harry. better cut them ropes. - Not in the middle of my hymn.

Look.

You cut and I'll sing. Cut! Cut!

Cut. cut. cut!

UP. up. up. up!

- All right. get her up. - Wait.

Wait! Wait for me!

Oh. no!

Wait!

Have you all gone crazy?

- They robbed the bank. - What?

Just go up. up higher.

We're flying.

I'm coming. Pious. I'm coming.

Where are we going? You never told us.

California.

- I just don't ever wanna come down. - Oh. we're gonna hit it.

- We're gonna hit that mountain. - Higher!

- Let's do something. - We got too much weight.

- You gotta get rid of something. - What?

The instruments!

I hate...

All right.

Scum.

There's a town down there.

Well. I told you I'd get you somewhere.

Yes. you've got us back to Friendly.

Hey. the cannon.

Go and help.

Up. UP-

We're going towards the steeple.

- The steeple. - I think we're in trouble.

We gotta lose some weight.

- Gotta lose some weight. - Heave and duck!

Heave more ballast!

- Heave! - Fly. lady. get up high.

Take it up. take it up.

Up, up-up!

To the train!

Come on.

This way.

- Let's go. - Come on.

Hey!

- Hey. you! - Papa!

- Get on the train. - Why the train?

Why the train? Because it is faster than on a horseback.

- Listen to Papa! - Move faster.

- Move. Listen to Papa! - Come on. everyone on the horse!

Come on. Come on. I tell you.

Here come those bandits again.

Get this thing up! Up!

We gotta lighten the load.

Everybody take off his and her clothes.

Shoot the balloon.

Shoot the balloon.

- Get us up! - We ain't got no wind.

- Fake it. fake it. - Something big. man.

Shoot the balloon. you dumb-dumb.

Listen to Papa! Listen to Papa!

- Come on. - Get the balloon.

Come on.

Are we still headed for California?

Would you settle for Oklahoma?

Mr. Kinkaid.

Mr. Kinkaid. you're under arrest.

I'll catch. Fire! More fire!

- Fire! - Fire!

- Fire! Fire! - Idiot.

Hey, what's that down there?

It's either the Great Salt Lake or the Gulf of Mexico.

You beast!

Not you. Pious. Not you.

Up! Up! Higher! Higher!

More fuel! More.

More fire.

More fire. Come on.

More fire.

Fire! More fire!

Hey. more fire!

Listen to Papa!

- More fire! - Papa. it's getting awfully warm.

Papa. you must do something!

More fuel. More.

Listen to Papa.

Listen to Papa.

Something is wrong with that train.

Juan. we go home.

Papa. we're going home?

You' re giving up?

- But. Papa... - I promised your mother...

that we wouldn't do anything that was dangerous.

The Great Gregory has done it again.

- What? - You brought us back to Friendly.

Why do they call you great?

Throw out the gold! We gotta dump the gold!

Harry. will you listen? We gotta get rid of that gold. Harry.

We gotta get rid of more than a hundred pounds.

The man's right.

Now. throw out that gold.

Look here. This is monstrous. Highway robbery.

- Harry. give it to him. - Give it to him.

Not until I see some proper identification.

I'm giving you just 10 seconds.

If you don't start heaving that gold...

you're gonna make me do something just awful.

I wouldn't do nothing if I were you.

Well, lookie here. It's Miss Laundryman.

Uh-huh. And wearing a gun. Hey. look.

Little Miss Laundryman is wearing a gun.

Well. I'm giving you just three seconds to get off the street.

And I'm giving you just three seconds to throw out that gold.

Don't and you're all dead.

One.

Two.

Three.

I got no heart for this. folks. None at all.

You can fly away free. but I'll have to be asking you for that gold.

How dare you? You would steal from a man of the cloth?

I'm no thief. I'm a Texas Ranger.

- A Texas Ranger. - Well, that's the worst.

- I weigh 120 pounds. - A hundred and twenty-five.

You can fly without me. Yes, you can.

No, Lyda. Fly higher, farther and faster.

- No, Lyda. - Oh, Harry. goodbye.

I can't let you do that. folks.

Oh. no. Benjamin. for my sake. no.

Smith. look out for what's-his-name!

Lyda.

- My word. - I think that did it. Hey!

- Benjamin. Benjamin. - Miss Lyda. I...

- Oh. Benjamin. - Miss...

Thanks. Lyda. thanks.

Thanks for the miracle.

Lyda!