Original subtitles

Watch it.

Uhh.

Watch your elbow.

I know. Watch your knee.

I'm sorry. Good.

Get your head down.

It's down.

You get down.

I am.

Good. Good hit.

Good hit.

Ah ha ha.

Good. Aah!

Ahh! Good carry.

Want to see that again?

Let's see.

Watch out, now.

Don't hold it too tight.

Not too tight.

See? If you hold it too tight, you'll drop it.

Thanks a lot.

You gotta be loose.

Yeah, OK.

Um-hmm.

Whaa! I see what you mean.

Very good.

Thanks.

Aah!

I'll take that for you.

I've got it.

I'll drop it at home for you.

Whose home? Yours?

Yeah. My place.

It's not heavy.

It's nothing permanent if your fencing bag

sits in my closet 24 hours.

I don't want to move in with you.

What's this have to do with living together?

Let's be honest. OK?

You keep taking my things and leaving them in your house.

You are trying to move me in without my noticing it.

Come on. That would be insane.

I don't want to live with you.

How can you teach history and have such a short memory?

Why don't you try it for a while?

It's fun. You buy dishes together.

You have people over. Then you talk about them

in the bathroom while you're brushing your teeth.

How do you know you wouldn't like living with somebody?

Because I lived with someone 3 years.

But not with me.

We have classes.

Don't decide anything now.

Think it over.

I'll talk to you in an hour.

Mmm.

All right! Yeah!

...profiteering, lack of supplies.

If you'll look over what we've read,

you'll see that same question

keeps coming up over and over:

How do you discipline a large, freedom-loving society?

The colonies wanted what John Adams called

"the Sweets of Liberty..."

But if they got that freedom,

they'd have to leave their homes, obey orders...

they'd have to march in step.

They hated that.

Von Steuben had a helluva time just drilling them.

Yes. Question?

Who's gonna play Von Steuben?

That's their department.

I just wrote the book.

Anybody have questions about history? Yes?

Is it true they're using townspeople as extras?

Let's break early

and see what's going on outside.

Don't forget, Friday's our last class.

Have your papers in by then, OK?

OK.

They're coming!

Here they come! They're coming!

We all love you!

Got another one of those in there?

No, the light bags.

How do you lose a ski?

Can you hear me OK? Uh-huh.

I'm talkin' with Bo Hodges,

the director and producer of Sweet Liberty.

What made you decide to make this picture in sayeville?

The story mostly happened

within several miles of here,

and you don't get that in Burbank.

They're great, aren't they?

These are our local boys.

They get together annually

to reenact the American Revolution.

Eddie, get that shot.

Lopert, check this out.

Look at these guys.

Hey!

Michael Burgess.

Let me get out the bus.

Hey, Michael! It's me, Stanley Gould! I'm here!

Hello.

I wrote the screenplay.

How did you know me?

This is my Bible.

Idiots. Look at those dog-eared pages.

Is that dedication to the written word?

A wonderful welcome.

Maniacs in tights, shooting.

I'm gettin' out of here.

I'm proud to be working on material by Michael Burgess.

After 20 years of slavin' in schlock mines,

to suddenly be associated with literature...

it's incredible!

Excuse me. Stanley Gould.

I have to get right to my suite.

I'm the writer.

So? I'm the stunt coordinator.

I have writing that can't wait.

My suite, please.

Look at this.

It's a shoe box,

not even a piece of fruit.

I need the works.

I'm a writer.

I have to chew on things. Now.

I'll do what I can.

And plenty of grapes.

Sit. Make yourself comfortable.

I have an incredible treat for you.

Oh, the script.

I'll read this tonight.

Sit. I'm gonna take a shower.

When you laugh, tell me what page you're on.

When I laugh at what?

When you laugh at what?

Read. Read.

What a treat.

So, you love it?

What is this?

It's the movie.

This isn't my book.

There's all these naked women.

It's a comedy.

Where's my book?

There isn't one thing in here that looks familiar.

Are you kidding me?

Every page, there's something I kept in.

Look. Washington's great line.

Of course, I had to give that to the girl.

And this piece. I had real trouble keepin' that.

You're not upset, are you?

Be warned, I have a sword in that bag.

It's still your book.

Ok, so I changed some jokes.

It didn't have any jokes!

No wonder they never showed me the script,

and the director's too busy to see me.

Tomorrow he sees me.

It's very important you don't tell the director

you don't like my script.

There's a question of death here.

This is a piece of shit!

Of course it is! I hate it!

But we can work on it.

We can make it better,

not different, because the sets are built,

but we can make it infinitely better.

We'll work on it together.

We are the 2 musketeers.

I'm not a musketeer. I'm a historian.

If they don't like this story

the way it happened, I'll take it back.

They won't let you take it back. It's theirs.

Give me this.

They bought it. But we can fix it.

Just try not to mention the word "shit." Ok?

The American revolution wasn't a vaudeville show!

Ok, we'll fix it!

Please, listen, listen.

My life's hangin' here.

I'm a playwright, an author,

but you know how I started out in this business?

Writin' questions for game shows.

Smutty double entendres for the match game.

"John showed Mary his big, hard blank."

But finally I had the chance

to work for the Pulitzer prize winner.

Do you think I would put anything ahead of you?

I'm yours! Work on me, stamp on me... I'm yours!

Curse me, but just let some of you rub off on me.

Tell me I'm yours.

What choice have I got?

None.

You're mine.

I love you.

Come on.

Don't do that.

Want to work on those mushrooms?

Yeah. Isn't working together fun?

Mm-hmm.

Look at the things we could be doing if we lived together.

You realize we've never made salad together? Ever?

I guess that accounts for this emptiness I feel.

Mmm.

Is that how you cut an onion?

Yeah.

Can I show you something?

You don't cut the part where the root is.

That's what makes you cry. You cut the other end.

Just slice that off.

Peel it back from there,

and then you slice from there.

How do you know that?

I read widely.

Oh, yeah?

How do you get the stems out of lettuce?

With a knife.

Move your hand.

That is the weirdest proposal anyone's ever made.

What did I say?

What?

Proposal, right?

Sorry, I didn't mean to shake you up.

Um... can we take a walk?

Yeah.

I just want to talk. Ok?

Sure.

I want to be fair with you.

Michael, relax, ok?

I don't want to get married.

I've thought about it.

I love you.

I just couldn't do that to you.

Do what to me?

Sidetrack you like that.

You've put years into your career.

You have a responsibility to that.

You are so full of shit!

I'm full of shit?

Look, we've both been married before.

We're leery of it.

You're real leery. We both are.

What do you mean, I'm leery?

I'm happy this way.

I teach, make quilts, work on my book.

In-between, we squeeze in fencing

and some really nice lovemaking.

So let's just settle for perfect.

Mmm. This is better than salad.

Mmm.

Butter pecan.

Oh, is that good pistachio.

What do you say we go inside

and talk this over for 15 or 20 minutes?

I have a class.

10 minutes.

Ok.

I really like that pistachio.

Butter pecan makes me crazy.

Remember, he's the director.

He comes on like a kid, but he's tough.

Where'd they get those Scottish broadswords?

Michael, pay attention.

Don't screw around with him.

I can't believe how real this is.

Just let me do the talkin'.

What are you doin'?

Come on!

What's the mat... come on!

Oh.

Hey, Faith!

Come on. I'll introduce you.

Faith!

This is the man

who wrote the book Sweet Liberty.

Michael Burgess, Faith Healy.

Hello.

You look wonderful in that outfit.

I pray, do not make me blush.

It ill becomes me.

Yeah?

Nice to see you, darling.

We have a meeting.

You look great, really.

You're gonna be fantastic.

Very nice meeting you.

She's Mary Slocum.

Where'd they find her?

Don't you go to the movies?

She even speaks like her.

Actors.

Let's explain the 3 phases.

We don't need the whole battle.

We reenact this battle every year.

It's a very intricate deal.

Just in firing a musket,

there are 14 different motions.

Sometimes 19.

That's great.

Listen...

half-cocked firelock...

handle your cartridge...

Ok, listen.

John will tell you

exactly what we need, ok?

Excuse me, fellas.

Bo, Bo...

this is Michael Burgess.

Hi! That's some book.

Did you read the script?

Yes, I did.

He did a helluva job for a guy who can't speak English.

The script is... interesting.

There are some things I have trouble with.

What are they?

The story and the dialogue.

The story and the dialogue?

None of that ever happened.

Who really knows what happened back then?

I do. I've read their diaries and letters.

This script is all bullshit.

Stanley, we should've left out the bullshit.

Look, Mary Slocum's husband is off fighting the British.

The British colonel Tarleton comes and takes over her place.

What's wrong with that?

You've got her falling in love with him.

That's impossible. Tarleton was ruthless.

Why would she love him?

He's number 4 at the box office.

What?

Elliott James is an international star.

If she doesn't fall for him,

the audience will set fire to the ushers.

Why did you people buy my book?

It's full of earthy, sexy, funny stories.

You're a good comedy writer.

That's good, guys.

Set it up.

I was trying to make history readable, not obliterate it.

I put 10 years into that book.

Michael, I'm the one

who saved this picture.

It was in turnaround.

What's that?

I was the only one who saw

how to make this appealing to kids.

The movie audience is 80% kids.

You know what kids like?

What?

Kids go ape if you do 3 things...

defy authority,

destroy property,

and take people's clothes off.

What's that have to do with American history?

Why do kids defy authority?

Because they're in rebellion.

The American revolution

was the ultimate rebellion,

and they destroyed property.

We just needed to get them naked.

Make that fireplace practical, bill.

Go back to the book.

She doesn't fall in love with Tarleton.

Let's F.O. The statue.

I'm listening.

Go back to the book. Sorry to be rough,

but it means a great deal to me.

What makes you think you can order me around?

My contract.

Paragraph five "d."

"Full right of consultation."

All right, let's see...

You really don't like the love story?

I want it out.

Or the dialogue?

Change it all.

Ok. We just had a consultation.

Charlie, I thought that room was gonna be green.

Green's a funny color.

You feel better?

Better?

You were sort of suicidal last night.

That's why I let you stay over.

What was the problem?

They're making a movie of your book.

Oh, god. Who asked you?

Michael?

Hmm?

This isn't the best time for this.

Be careful...

be careful of the quilt.

The hell with the quilt.

Aah!

I've been bitten! Something bit me!

What's that dangerous implement doing in bed?

I like sewing in bed.

You ought to know things like that

before you try and live with someone.

It's very inconvenient not having my robe here.

Really?

Oh, god...

I've got gouges all over my behind.

No kidding. Let's see.

How long have you been doing that?

About 4 hours.

If you couldn't sleep, why didn't you do some writing?

I wanted to do this.

You could've headed your department.

Instead of working on your book, you're sewing blankets.

This is not a blanket.

It's a replica

of a 200-year-old quilt

with a timely message.

Get it?

I can't believe you'd waste your time like that.

Waste my time?

Maybe that's a little harsh.

However, sleeping with you isn't a waste time.

I'm sorry, ok? I have large chunks

missing from my ass.

Are you getting dressed,

or are we gonna try something kinky?

We're going to that reception.

I have to bring my mother some food first.

I'll go with you.

No. We'll meet at the reception.

I made some chicken for her. I'd like to take it to her.

I can feed my mother by myself.

Michael, what's your problem?

Why can't I come to your mother's?

Because I don't want to get married.

Who asked you?

What am I, blind?

Every step you take, you move deeper into my life.

You bring my mother chicken.

Suddenly I'll have 3 children and a picket fence.

Fine, don't get married.

We'll see each other, make love, have fights...

but I am not living with you.

My shirt looks like it's been used

to clean a windshield.

Buy an iron.

Wrinkles are the least of it.

Here, smell it. Smell my shirt.

Thanks, I'm not into that.

I want you to see how inconvenient

this arrangement is. Come here. Smell it.

Get that out of my nose. You're getting crazy.

Not letting me keep one shirt in your closet,

that's sane, right?

Don't put that on.

Don't. You're not coming with me.

How's your behind?

Fine. How's yours?

How were we gonna make love

if you had to come here?

I dread coming here so much, I forgot about it.

Who's there?

Michael, mom. Gretchen and I brought some food.

Just a minute, dear.

I can't open this. It's broken.

Mom, push the key in and turn it.

Push and turn.

I'm locked in.

Call the police.

Mom, turn the key.

Oh.

Hello, Mrs. Burgess.

Hello, dear.

Hello.

Bless you, dear.

That door.

I can never get it unlocked.

What if there were a fire?

I like to be safe.

We brought you some food.

Shall I put it in the kitchen?

Just put it on the TV.

Michael, there's Rex.

Michael, say hello to Rex.

Hello, Rex.

Rex, you know Michael.

You love him.

Talk to him.

See how happy he is? He loves you.

So, uh, Rex, how's it going?

Incredible summer, isn't it?

You able to keep cool and everything?

It's been great talkin' to you.

When he hears you on the telephone, he smiles.

Mom, how about if I find a part-time nurse?

You know who'd take good care of me?

Johnny Delvechio.

He loves me.

You haven't seen him in a long time.

I want you to find him.

He wanted to end that relationship 25 years ago.

Whatever gave you that idea?

He moved to another town,

got an unlisted phone number,

changed his name...

he did everything but get plastic surgery.

I think he's trying to tell you something.

Now, look at those smiling eyes.

Sometimes, when I look at him,

he winks at me.

Oh, yeah?

I want you to find him for me.

I don't know where he is.

Go find him.

I can't.

You can do anything you set your mind to.

I've told him that since he was little.

He got his doctorate when he was 25.

If you can do that,

you can certainly find Johnny Delvechio.

Mom, he's out of your life.

He's gone. Leave him alone.

But he loves me.

He can't be found.

Why can't you just let it go?

Give it up. He's gone.

Is that the way to talk to a dying mother?

Why don't I make lunch?

Sure...

some poison food would finish me off.

They're out of poison food today.

This looks really good.

Potato salad and eggplant Parmesan.

I made you some chicken.

I don't eat anything

that hasn't been sitting on the TV for 24 hours.

The radiation kills whatever poison

they've put in there.

Mom, we have to go meet the movie people.

Did you tell them

I think Jackie Gleason

should play George Washington?

No, not yet.

He's a very good actor.

I know.

He's more than a comedian.

Say good-bye to Rex.

Good-bye, Rex.

I love your collar.

Give him a little kiss.

No, I'm not kissing the dog.

I just don't want to kiss the dog.

Good-bye, Mrs. Burgess.

Bye.

Maybe we can find your friend.

Good!

What?!

Michael, what did I do?

How could you say we'd find her old boyfriend?

You talk crazier than she does.

I felt sorry for her.

In a way, she's my mother, too.

No, she is not your mother.

She's my mother. Get your own mother.

Hi. I'm Bill Edson.

I have the eckert drugstore on main street.

My son plays the saxophone like an angel.

Find him a spot in your movie.

I can't help you.

I just wrote the book

from which the movie has not been taken.

Governor, it is so good to see you.

Frank, how are you?

The movie people are all inside.

They're eager to meet you.

Nice to see you.

Good to see you.

The whole university's just thrilled

to have you here.

How nice.

Which part do you play?

Tarleton, the British colonel.

He's a bit of a bastard...

aristocratic, overbearing...

insatiable lover.

How close is that to the real you?

The insatiable part.

Does your husband teach here?

No. Those who can't teach

are put in charge.

He's president of the university.

He's over there talkin' to the governor.

What does that entail, actually...

being president?

Mostly leaving me alone while he's off raising money.

Oh, my dear.

What a waste.

I felt trapped when I was married.

We were both miserable.

Thank you.

I spent 5 years trying to make it work.

I can't go through that again.

I teach literature.

If I wanted to marry you,

I'd say so.

You don't talk, you maneuver.

I what?

Michael, meet Elliott James.

This man can make Tarleton live.

Well, hello.

Hello.

Gretchen Carlson.

Delighted to meet you.

Delighted.

I've always been a fan of yours.

How kind of you.

Elliott, we need a picture.

This is Michael Burgess.

Michael wrote the book.

It's brilliant. Very few historians

breathe life into the past as you can.

Thank you.

We'll have dinner, dear boy.

He likes you.

That's wonderful.

Come on. Come here.

Maybe we ought to take a vacation from each other.

You're a helluva person to talk about maneuvering.

You insist on moving in,

but you don't want to get trapped.

You lecture me on cutting onions and my career.

And why are you so concerned about my career?

Because you think the more independent I am,

the less I'll want to get married.

That's the real reason, isn't it?

You don't mean all that,

that maybe we ought to take a vacation from each other?

Yeah. You want your freedom, you got it.

Go have fun. Enjoy yourself.

Come outside. Come here.

You said we didn't have to get married.

Let's talk about this.

You want me to move into your house,

but not into your life. Forget it!

Listen. Why don't we talk about it

for 2 seconds. Ok? Gretchen...

good-bye, Michael.

Gretchen.

It must be awful,

comin' to these dinky towns,

people throwin' themselves at you.

Not always.

Don't you just want to get away sometimes?

I have my little diversions.

Mr. James, this is a real pleasure.

Hello. Is this a 355?

Yeah. You know choppers?

I flew one in Korea.

They were small then.

Mind if I have a look?

Sure, go ahead.

Get in. See what it's like.

I loved that submarine picture.

I saw that 3 times.

Oh, yes? How nice.

I saw it once in a theater

and twice on cable.

Hold this, please?

Oh, dear, I am sorry.

I'll get more.

Please don't bother.

Hey... my pleasure.

Thank you.

Isn't this a lovely machine?

You ever been up in one of these?

Elliott, what are you doin'?

Hey, wait a minute!

Where are you going?

Hey, Mr. James!

Mr. James!

Elliott, what are you doin'?

Trying to remember how this works.

Watch it, Elliott, watch it!

I am watching it. It's all right.

Get down!

Oh, no, Elliott, no!

I'm getting the hang of this now.

Leslie?

Oh, my god, Elliott!

That's my husband down there.

Leslie?

Oh, my god!

This is fun, isn't it?

Elliott, please!

You want to go up?

Yes! Right!

You'll take any excuse to get on top of me.

You want to get knocked over by an airplane?

Don't climb on people you don't want to get trapped with, ok?

Oh, god, don't land.

I can't face those people.

They won't mind at all.

Not one bit.

It's Elliott James!

Leslie, come on.

Boy, you had me scared for a minute.

Shall we?

What? Who is it?

I have a large dog in here.

Woof! Woof! Woof!

Grrrrr!

Stanley, it's Michael. Open the door.

I almost died of fright.

I want to rewrite tomorrow's scene.

Now?

I want to fix it. We'll go to my place.

Great. You want to work in the middle of the night,

that's absolutely fine.

Anytime, anyplace.

I pledge you my brains, my heart,

my mouth, and my sacred honor.

Those are the words of Thomas Jefferson.

What? What happened?

Let's go.

Are we done?

Come on.

Let me see it.

How did we do? Is it good?

Thank you, my dear.

Elliott!

Isn't it great?

Leslie! Don't you look lovely!

You're so sweet to do this for me.

I'm absolutely thrilled.

My, don't you look lovely.

How can I ever repay you?

I'm just so excited.

Would you mind...

helping me learn lines?

You mean it?

Yes.

I'd love to.

We'll use my trailer.

It's very quiet.

I can't believe it!

I'm in the movies!

You gotta remember, directors are tyrants.

He has to feel that he's the whole show.

Convince him it was his idea.

Wait for me there. Be right with you.

Just keep walking. Act like we're chatting.

Are you interested in portraying

Mary Slocum as she really was?

In truth, I am, sir.

The way she talked, everything.

Indeed.

Here's everything she said to Tarleton when they met.

Want to see that?

Yes.

Keep walking. He's looking at us.

You brought this stuff from Hollywood?

All this equipment and everything?

Yes.

Don't let him see you take this.

They have a rule. The writer's

not supposed to have anything to do with words.

Have you seen my bonnet?

Nice.

Oh, good. Great.

I'll get a copy to Elliott, too.

Michael.

Yeah?

Don't talk to the actors.

It throws them.

Sorry. She was just showing me around.

Sure.

Guys, I don't want to take the time to lay track...

and 8.

Is Elliott James in this trailer?

Yeah. I think he's got company.

Oh, I think he's got company.

He's hittin' the 5.

You didn't even take the 5 last time.

You want that?

No, I'll take that.

Discard... 6.

6? Not a 3?

Maybe you could use a 7.

I can use a 7.

I can't buy this scene.

It's complicated with a husband.

We never had a husband.

Start adding stuff, it'll wreck it.

I'm sure you mean well,

but it just doesn't work.

I love these new lines.

Not you, too. Elliott, please.

Have you guys ever heard of "less is more"?

Why's he wearing a red coat?

Because he's British.

Tarleton wore green.

Remember? The green dragoon.

You're about to lose a whole movie,

and you're worried about haberdashery?

Come here, pay attention.

If the actors insist,

your dialogue's in.

Why would he listen to them?

He can't make the movie without 'em.

Without actors, the picture's through.

You shoot this.

I'll be in my trailer.

Wait a minute.

Find someone else.

We'll try it.

We could do it my way, your way...

we'll try it your way.

Take it, learn it...

all right? All right.

Ok, this is picture!

Folks, be quiet, please.

Sweet Liberty, scene 6, take one.

Roll it!

Speed!

Mark...

Background!

Watch out for the crane. It's gonna move.

And action!

Are you the mistress of the house?

It belongs to my husband.

Is he at home?

He is not.

Is he a rebel?

No, sir. He is fighting against invaders.

Madam, we differ in our opinion.

A friend to his country

will be a friend to the king, our master.

Slaves only acknowledge a master in this country.

Madam, his majesty's service requires

the temporary occupation of your property.

There's only myself and a few servants.

We are your prisoners.

I'm sure I shall find room in the house for you...

or perhaps in the stables.

Cut! Print!

Ok, that's a wrap.

We did it!

What a perfect first day!

Perfect!

My name's gonna be associated with literature!

I knew we could do it.

You have to know how to go about it, you know?

Wait a second.

Thank you.

It is I who should thank you, sir.

I'm dining in this evening.

Might I have the pleasure of your company

tonight at supper?

I'd love to.

It's a treat to finally meet Mary Slocum.

I'm preparing only garden Greens.

I hope that will please you.

I make a great salad.

Can I bring anything?

Oh, perhaps...

a nice, plump tomato.

I'll bring a tomato.

All right. Here.

That's for remembrance.

Supper at 8:00?

Great. Yeah.

Perfect.

Get outta here.

Hi. Come on in.

Set that stuff on the table.

Yeah, yeah, it's fine.

No.

No, I'm not comfortable with that.

Look, they came to us.

If they don't like it,

tell them to shove it.

All right. Bye.

So what have you got in there?

God, look at that.

They have endive in sayeville?

You think it's a hick town?

Watercress, too.

Scallions and balsamic vinegar.

Oh, my god, we're in salad heaven.

This is great.

Hello.

Yeah.

Did you hear what I said?

I said no! Ok? Ed, listen to me.

You're authorized to tell these guys

to go screw themselves.

Ok?

Bye.

What?

I'm trying to get used to how different you look.

You're 2 different people.

Even more, or I'm out of business.

I even played a coal miner.

You played a coal miner?

You didn't know I played a coal miner?

The coal miner's daughter. Sure.

No, that was Sissy Spacek.

I didn't play anybody's daughter.

I played a coal miner.

I was nominated for that.

That passed you by.

I don't keep up with things

that happened after 1820.

Well, you're not here because I'm a star.

Actually, I fell in love with you as Mary Slocum.

What's she like?

Like you. You're her.

I need the details.

You know, I mean...

how does she talk to servants?

Does she want people to think she's smart?

Or is she a coquette, or...

what can you tell me about her?

I brought her diary. Does that interest you?

I would kill to read her diary.

Oh, my god.

I knew her handwriting would be big like that.

"My dear husband left again today.

"His company has taken to the hills north of here.

"He spoke of a battle with the British

"under the infamous Tarleton.

"He fills my dreams.

"His absence kindles in me such a longing

"as I cannot bear it.

"I see him still by the bedroom door.

"On the day he left, he said,

"My dearest Mary,

may god watch over you while I'm gone."

"And I said,

"don't let them kill you, Jamie.

And his words to me were..."

"Would any man die, Mary, if he could come home

to your sweet kisses?"

"And we embraced."

"I..."

"I crave his voice..."

"His arms."

How do you suppose she makes love?

I wonder.

What is this? What am I watching here?

They want to show you their stuff.

Face right! Take aim!

Fire!

Aahhh!

Yeah. Ok. Great. Ok!

Thanks a lot for the demonstration!

Stop firing!

Get back, please.

Ok, stop firing!

Stop firing!

Come on, stop firing!

Ok! You were great, terrific.

Thanks. We're going back to work.

Can I talk to you, Claire?

There's more.

I don't need more. Thanks a lot.

Floyd does something special.

Oh, yeah?

He pole-vaults over the British guns.

I use this here to vault.

I can't use it. Get the first shot.

It's very realistic.

I really liked you falling down out there.

It looked ok?

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

I thought some were actually disabled.

A lot looked disabled.

Have you ever seen a spontoon?

I pole-vault with it.

Can I see it?

Oh, sure thing.

That's quite a large spontoon.

Ever see one that big before?

This guy in Arizona had a large spontoon,

but he couldn't pole-vault with it.

Aw, thanks, you guys.

We're ok with good weather,

but I want another scene set up just in case.

I have that needlework scene coming up.

3 weeks ago, I asked for a sewing teacher.

When you're right, you're right.

Claire, get her somebody.

I still only have one telephone line.

My contract calls for two.

And my toilet doesn't work.

Toilet doesn't work...

you getting this?

I'm writing fast as I can.

I'd like Michael Burgess on the set

whenever I'm working.

He knows the period.

I'll see if he's available.

Great.

Ok. Well, thanks. I gotta get dressed.

Anytime.

I should avoid her when she's in street clothes.

There's something wrong.

I know what it is.

I want to talk to you.

Faith's requested you be on the set

when she's shooting. Yeah?

I wouldn't get too excited.

She had a long list of complaints.

You came after the broken toilet.

What?

When Faith's here, I'm here.

Don't kiss me all the time.

You're gonna be on the set!

My name's gonna be on a masterpiece!

We gotta be careful about politics. What about Elliott?

What about him?

If he knows she wanted you,

he won't want you.

It's crazy.

That's the way it works.

You gotta go after him.

What'll I do?

What you did with her.

I don't think so.

No! Get his confidence.

He reads a new scene,

it's in the picture.

Look, look!

He's restless.

He's always lookin' for action.

You fence, right?

Yeah.

Maybe he wants to work out with you.

Why can't we just show him what we write?

This is studio politics.

You take care of art,

I'll handle the slimy stuff.

Elliott, I don't want you to do it.

It's a dangerous stunt. You're on the horse.

You come riding up to those bushes.

You're going to jump over, but the horse stops short.

The horse refuses,

so you fly right into the water.

Make sure you have the camera on my face.

I want them to see it's me.

No. Elliott, come on. We've got a stunt man to...

don't trouble your stunt men.

I do my own stunts.

What happens if you break your back?

I'm out of business.

I'll send you flowers.

We're only gonna do this once.

All cameras ready? Everybody, concentrate.

Elliott, please be careful.

And... action!

Whoaaahhhhh!

Cut! Great!

You did it, you lunatic!

That's terrific! We got it. Ok.

His hat is wrong.

Go stand over there,

about a mile away?

You know how to fence, right?

I'm a fencer, yeah.

Ok, just fence.

Don't mention the script.

We'll get to that later.

Just go step by step.

Step by step.

Elliott? Here he is.

I'm delighted you could play with me.

Guys, have fun.

You fence a bit?

A little, yeah.

Are you pretty good?

I do all right.

Let's see.

Not bad.

You have a fairly quick hand.

Aren't we using jackets and masks?

We won't need those.

I won't lay a blade on you.

You certainly won't lay one on me.

You have to watch that.

I don't let those little openings go by.

Hyah!

Bye-bye.

My dear boy.

I'm terribly sorry.

Are you hurt?

No, no, no.

I'm so ashamed.

Let's get you a new shirt.

I'm fine.

I insist, Michael.

I would feel much better.

It's all right.

I don't need a shirt.

I only came to find out

if you read what I wrote.

Yes. I'm sure it's good.

You didn't read it?

Well, not literally.

Mr. James? I'll drive.

I'll be fine.

You're never supposed to drive yourself.

Really? Get in, Michael.

Mr. Hodges said I'm to drive.

Tell Mr. Hodges I'll be right back.

I really wish you could read...

watch it, watch it!

I shouldn't have let you fence

without a jacket.

But I do idiotic things.

As a result,

my life is an absolute mess.

I'd never have put you down the hill

if I hadn't been so distracted.

Well...

what seems to be...

the problem?

My marriage, for one thing.

My wife's wonderful,

but I've been naughty with several village ladies.

I always do that.

It's incredibly self-destructive.

Elliott, there's a...

I know this sounds...

Elliott, look out!

Aaahhh!

Tired?

Yes.

You know what my problem is?

The way they smell.

The perfume of their skin,

it's so intoxicating.

I told my wife

I'd never look at other women

if only I could cut off my nose.

What did she say?

She said I was aiming too high.

Elliott!

Michael.

I'm sorry. They tried reaching you at the college.

Then somebody thought of calling me.

What's the matter?

Your mother couldn't breathe.

She's in the hospital.

Where? What hospital?

Don't be long. I need you here.

How bad is she?

They had to revive her.

She won't eat.

Her body's breaking.

Did she stop breathing?

Yeah. The drugstore guy is delivering her makeup.

She sort of passes out and turns blue.

She won't let anybody help her.

"We're all trying to kill her."

She's right over here.

Your son's here to see you.

How you feelin'?

I'm fine and staying that way.

You look good.

They're going to do experiments on me here.

You mean tests?

Experiments.

They're going to take out all my nerves.

They thought I was sleeping,

but I heard every word they said.

Why would they take out your nerves?

I don't know.

Maybe they sell them.

Why aren't you eating?

The kitchen's off-limits.

Why?

Because I saw a certain person in there.

You saw the devil in the kitchen?

You've been sleeping in the living room

because he's in the bedroom.

How'd he get into the kitchen?

I certainly don't know.

We don't discuss it.

Maybe he's hungry.

Let me explain something.

You won't go into the kitchen

and you refuse kitchen help.

You're liable to starve. What are we gonna do?

Go find Johnny Delvechio.

I can't. Why?

Because he's a bricklayer?

No. That's not it.

He isn't a fancy professor

like your father and you,

but he really loved me.

He wouldn't let them

take out all my nerves.

I've gotta go, mom.

I love you.

You're a good son.

Thank you.

Ha ha ha!

Bye-bye.

Dr. Burgess?

Could I give you this?

I'm also an actress.

I've done a lot of community theater.

Sadie Thompson in rain?

Emily in our town?

I have a very broad range.

I hope your mother gets better.

Thank you.

Nice to see you.

Finally.

You're back, huh?

What's the matter?

Oh, everything's marvelous.

You're off with mother,

the picture's fallin' apart.

What happened?

Faith and Elliott disagree.

They won't act.

They stand there like 2 petulant salamis.

I'll talk to 'em.

You have a problem with the scene?

I love it.

It's sheer delight.

Just one little thing...

Tarleton would never force himself

on a woman.

He'd never force himself on a woman?

He bragged about ravishing hundreds of women.

Not our Tarleton.

Have another go at it.

The man was a beast!

An animal, yes. A beast, no.

He was a beast, and that's it!

He doesn't mean "that's it" in the sense "that's it."

How do I mean it?

We can talk. We can think.

We can toss it back and forth.

You're very good at this.

Take 15 minutes to excise the beastliness.

I'll perfect the animal part.

Thanks for your support.

He's an actor.

You've got to get his trust.

I tried. He nearly killed me.

Do more. I know human relations.

I just met you

and I'm feelin'

I think that somehow we met somewhere before

I think I've loved you

in my dreams a hundred times or maybe more

oh, sweet sensations

good vibrations

you know it's not my imagination

runnin' wild

I'm gonna hold you

I'm gonna love you

like it's goin' out of style

Ahhhhh

what a connection

I just can't conceal it

there's some kind of magic in the air

oh, I can feel it

somethin' special

is gonna happen tonight

I want you to know that

somethin' special

is gonna happen tonight...

Ok, this scene needs lots of energy and cheering.

Everybody, have fun!

Action!

Will you stop that?

Ok, I need all the background people.

Hold the traffic.

Have 'em turn off their motors.

This'll be a take.

Ok, folks, quiet.

And rolling.

Mark!

And Dolly in. Elliott, remember,

you haven't seen her in 2 months.

You hunger, dream about her, passion.

And every move you make, remember... Ok? Hunger.

Ok.

You've come back.

I am never very far from you, madam.

I know. Don't say it.

I'll fix it. I'll handle it.

Cut!

All right, kill the snow!

Ok, guys, save the snow!

Is that a print?

Elliott, listen.

I've got to have more from you.

When you say to her... look at her.

Look at her when you say,

"I'm never very far from you, madam."

I've gotta have that. I can't do it your way.

I've got to have electricity.

"Never far from you."

Right. Wonderful!

Give me a couple more colonials.

Faith, you'll be great.

I can't do it all by myself.

He isn't even looking at me.

He's never good on the first take,

but he's gonna be great.

Fine. Call me when he wakes up.

I'll be in my trailer.

Ok, that's lunch. One hour.

It's not working.

What?

The scene.

It's a bullshit scene.

So let's write 'em somethin' else.

They won't do that, either.

We've got to present it right.

Presentation's everything. Where you goin'?

Michael, I'm talkin'. I'm sayin' things.

Everything ok?

Oh, yeah.

But I was thinking

about your mother's old sweetheart.

It's her dying wish.

He's hiding. He can't be found.

I found him.

You found him?

I have his address.

He's only 20 minutes away.

It would be so easy to do this for her.

Let's go.

Michael! Michael!

What about the scene?

We'll work on it in the car.

Oh, in there? Ok.

Is this a backseat?

Ahh.

Oh, my god.

Oh. Oh! Oh...

what did he say on the previous page?

I'm tryin' to get the script out.

My elbow's stuck.

This is a nice car.

Is it the iron maiden model?

Where'd you find Delvechio's address?

The bricklayer's union.

Why are we doin' this?

I feel guilty, ok?

I hated my mother for being strange.

Now I feel guilty for hating her.

That I can understand. What did I ever do to her?

Yeah?

Coming.

Hi. What can I do for you?

Johnny, it's Michael Burgess.

I'm here about my mother.

The wife and I are just leaving.

I didn't know you were married.

Oh, yeah.

I've been married for 40 years.

I wouldn't have bothered you.

It was so long...

again? Again?!

When will she leave us alone?

We moved, disconnected the telephone.

What more can we do?

Honey, don't be upset.

I didn't come here to bother you.

I'm surprised at you.

An intelligent man with college degrees.

I didn't know he was married.

Don't come here anymore!

Bye.

Are you all right?

What the hell was that?

That was a wonderful experience.

She almost killed you.

Who is she?

His wife.

How could my mother do that to her?

How could she do it to me?

Because she's crazy.

I've had enough.

How long has she been crazy?

All my life.

Then don't expect something different.

What are you gonna tell her?

What happened.

Why?

Why not?

She thinks he still loves her.

Her nutty fantasy isn't my problem.

You owe it to her.

When you were a little boy, she inspired you.

True?

Look at the strength you got from her.

She gave, you give.

I knew you'd do this.

What?

Opening me up.

Just let her feel good.

Lying makes me feel bad.

So you don't feel good for a few minutes. Big deal.

Go in and tell her he loves her.

Make her happy!

I knew you'd do this.

I'm not lying to her.

Hi, mom.

Hi, dear.

Have you talked with Johnny Delvechio?

Yeah, I did.

What did he say?

He said he loves you.

He did?

What else?

He thinks of you every day.

Your picture is by his bed.

He dreams about you.

He does?

He said he's never known...

anybody as warm and generous...

and beautiful.

And funny. He loves your sense of humor.

Well, I am funny.

When is he coming to see me?

Oh, he can't. He's, um...

he had an accident.

What happened?

Uh... he got hit in the head...

with a door.

But he can speak?

Oh, yes. He says he loves you,

and he's always loved you, and he always will.

Is he hospitalized?

Yes... yeah.

Have them give us adjoining beds.

He's not in this hospital.

He's in some... Another...

another hospital.

Well, move him to this hospital!

Put his bed here beside mine.

No, mom, I can't.

But I'll keep bringing you messages.

I gotta go back to work.

Don't you come back without Johnny Delvechio.

You're a tough cookie, you know that?

You can say that again, Jackson.

I'll never forget that look on her face.

She was like a kid. She was happy.

You're terrific. You know that?

I don't know if you want me to say this,

but I think you're a smart, wonderful person.

I don't mind hearing that.

Say it again.

You going here, too?

Yeah.

I'm working on the movie.

Doing what?

Teaching embroidery.

Embroidery?

Yeah.

Good for you.

What are you doing here?

I'm having lunch with one of the actors.

I go this way.

So do I.

Ok. See you later.

Bye.

Who you meeting with?

Faith Healy.

You, too?

Yeah. We're going over a scene together.

Come on in!

I'm in the shower!

Oh, you're both here.

Good.

Come on in.

Did you meet?

Yeah. We're old friends.

We teach at the college.

Hi. I'm Faith.

Gretchen Carlsen.

Come on in.

You teach a course in needlework?

No, I teach American literature.

Needlework is my...

sideline.

Oh, ok.

Sit down.

What kind of sewing did they do then?

Well, they did some amazingly complicated things.

Quilts, petit point, tapestry...

for embroidery they used

silver, gold, pearls, silk...

it was really...

amazing.

Uh... aren't you staying for lunch?

No. I've swallowed enough for one day.

John, did you save me a seat, brother?

Boy, night shooting sure can get chilly.

Hello.

How you doin'?

Your sash goes on the right shoulder.

Gosh, I never would have known that.

So, you gettin' ready for the big battle?

They're shootin' it pretty soon.

We do this every year,

so we're always kind of up on...

yeah, we see that baby in our sleep.

I'm talkin' about fallin'.

You guys fall down great for amateurs,

but in the movies, it's different.

How's that?

When the force of a bullet hits you,

it throws you back hard.

You have to sort of fly backwards.

How do you do that?

It's all in the ankles.

Say, Lopert...

let's demonstrate a movie fall.

Sure. No problem.

Let's go over there. Come over here.

Would you hold my cartridge box?

You bet.

I want you to pretend you have a gun.

Just hold up your fingers and go bang.

Point and say bang?

Just get yourself set.

All right.

Bang!

He just flew backwards through the air.

Now you try it.

Now... just a minute.

Could you move? I'm comin' through.

Here we go. Ok, ready?

Bang.

Let me try it again.

1, 2...

no, I can get it.

Now we hit him with it.

Now he's ready. He's primed.

Timing. Timing is everything.

Ah, my dear chaps. How nice.

Could you call back in 11/2 days?

You're busy?

We said Sunday at 3:00.

Let's go.

Ah. Action, huh?

There's always action.

One never knows.

Elliott, we were really hoping...

I'll call you as soon as I can.

Sure.

Aha.

What's the matter?

Let's step into my room

and have a script talk.

Darling, my meeting's running late.

I thought I heard you out there.

What are you doing here?

Finding out about show business.

Fascinating, isn't it?

We've been having this wonderful script conference.

Leslie, this is Michael Burgess

and Gretchen... uh, Carlsen?

Yes. We all know one another.

It's a small town.

Leslie is a musicologist.

She's been teaching me some marvelous 18th century songs.

For the film.

Right.

I love history.

It's so old. Ha ha ha!

So full of... events.

Actually, this is a very dull group.

I know, we'll all go for a drive.

No, I...

I have to be going.

Maybe some other time.

You're all looking so wan.

Look at Michael. Doesn't he look wan?

Absolutely. Fun, right?

Fun is good for the movie.

Let's get some fresh air.

I don't think I should go.

You'll enjoy yourself.

Elliott, I've got to...

Stanley, not now.

I know a place 20 minutes from here

which is the ugliest, most wonderfully tacky...

what? What?

Sometimes my wife drops in to surprise me.

She's here?

Stimulating, isn't it?

Darling!

Hello!

We were just going for a drive,

but you must be tired.

I'd love to go for a ride.

Wonderful!

This is grace, my adoring wife.

They all have names, too.

We will have the best time.

We'll be silly and giddy.

We will pee in our pants with laughter

3 times before this day is over.

All in? Right. Off we jolly well go.

I was once so bored on a picture in Indonesia,

I hired a balloon and tried to escape.

How many for this?

Everyone?

Absolutely.

You bet.

No, I don't...

Yes!

I have trouble with heights.

Gretchen?

I have a problem with falling.

4.4, please.

Come here.

I'm not going up on that thing.

You want him in our corner?

You want "rewrite" up on the screen?

A little ride on a children's toy.

Have some fun for once in your life.

How long are you here?

I'm leaving Tuesday.

That's not long.

So, tell me about yourself.

How long have you known Elliott?

You'll enjoy this.

Yeah.

Good fun.

Yeah, great.

I'd like to chat with Leslie.

Go ahead.

Change seats with me.

We're a mile up in the air!

I'm not moving.

Are you crazy?

We'll be killed!

We better sit down

before we get to the top.

Get his feet in.

Great, huh?

I love it.

It's lots of fun in the movie business.

You smell delicious.

I think your wife suspects something.

Not for a second.

Give me your lips.

Aaaahhhh!

Stop screaming.

Ooh!

Close your lips for a moment.

Just for a moment.

Stanley, take your hand off my face.

We're dyin',

and you're worried about your face?

Aaahhh! I can't kiss you

if you don't close your lips.

Shut your mouth.

Give me your lips just for a moment.

Knees up, mother brown

knees up, mother brown

under the table you must go

e-yi-e-yi-e-yi-

if I catch you bending

I'll saw your legs right off

knees up, knees up, don't get the breeze up

knees up, mother brown

oh, my, what a rotten song

what a rotten song

oh, my, what a rotten song

what a rotten singer, too

I don't get the point of this.

When I was a boy during the war,

everyone did it.

One morning,

coming home from the air raid shelter with my family,

we were so glad to be alive,

we just locked arms

and started to do knees up, mother brown,

when suddenly,

I swear to god,

'round the corner came Winston Churchill.

We stopped dead in our tracks.

I mean, god,

there was Winston Churchill.

He looked at us,

and do you know what he said?

Knees up, mother brown

knees up, mother brown

under the table you must go

e-yi-e-yi-e-yi-

if I catch you bending

I'll saw your legs right off

knees up, knees up, don't get the breeze up

knees up, mother brown

My dearest Mary,

may god watch over you.

Jesus Christ!

Are you ok?

Cut!

Let's go again.

Right away, please.

Can't we get a quieter horse?

Give that horse a pill.

Are you ok, darling?

I'm fine.

8 fencers just fell out.

Will 4 be enough?

No. 4's not enough.

You're ignoring the facts.

True, she rode all night to tend the wounded,

but it wasn't in this battle.

What about that college fencing team?

They're at the beach.

And she didn't meet Tarleton in the woods.

Were you there? You really want to help?

I'm trying to.

Get fitted for a uniform.

Get fitted for a uniform?

You want to contribute?

This is your chance.

Stop with the nitpicking details.

Keeping a woman from sleeping with the enemy

isn't nitpicking.

Thank you very much.

Sorry. I didn't mean to bother you.

Ok. Get him fitted,

and get him a sword.

Look, the horse isn't secure.

No wonder we lost the war.

Our horses kept running away.

We won't get this shot before lunch.

You kids relax.

Bo, nail the horse down.

Elliott, trust me.

Artie, would you be so kind?

We'll change the transmitter.

Give me my Lance, sweetheart.

How about a short one before lunch?

A short one?

Aaaahh!

God damn it!

Shit!

What a peculiar lunge.

Are you ok, dear boy?

You bent your saber.

I'll get you another one.

Forget it. I'm not interested.

That's enough for one day.

Props, look at this.

It's all bent.

If you have a complaint,

take it up with me.

How far do you take being Mary Slocum?

How far do you take being an historian?

I wouldn't sleep with George Ill.

Why would you get involved with him?

Because he's charming and it helps our scenes.

It helps your scenes?

When I look in his eyes,

there's someone there.

Imagine acting with someone

who has the emotional depth of an eggplant.

You're not at all like her.

Where have you been the last 10 weeks?

Ok, cut! Print!

That's the passion I was looking for.

I want to get ready for the battle scene tomorrow.

I don't want to wait for anything.

I want the fencers dressed and ready.

Can we have the American soldiers

for rehearsal, please?

And I need all the stunt men over here.

The British are all played by stunt men,

so put on your red coats.

Let's have the colonials on the right,

and the redcoats on the left.

This is the big battle scene.

Listen to me very carefully.

Don't get killed.

Do you want to move aside?

The British are over there

by those cannons.

The Americans come from that house.

Turn around, and you'll see.

I'll show you exactly what I mean.

Americans coming with their guns like this.

We wouldn't hold it like that.

Pay attention.

They're walking with their guns like this.

They get to here... bang!

You shoot, they shoot, you shoot.

British cannons go off.

First explosion's over there.

Boom!

Aah! You turn around.

You gotta run back to the house.

You get over there.

There's another explosion in front of you.

Boom!

Ahh! Big surprise.

You gotta run back to the British.

Listen!

And...

Boom!

Run back and forth like that.

You understand?

If all goes well,

this will be relatively hilarious.

You understand what I'm saying?

I don't want to waste any time.

Yes, Michael?

You have a question?

What the hell are you trying to do here?

I'm trying to make a movie.

The Americans did not run around looking hilarious.

They took the British cannons.

What's that house doing there?

This field's empty.

I don't have time to talk about this.

When we set up...

there are leaves on the trees.

Yeah, so what?

This took place in January. Winter.

Everything you're doing here is wrong.

Why don't you guys just can it?

You just fall down when we go back.

No, we don't!

Hey, quiet!

Quiet down!

Quiet!

Shut up!

Would you like us to pick the leaves off the trees?

Do at least one thing historically accurate.

The Americans charged the cannons.

That fact won't change

because some jackass is making a movie.

Screw historical accuracy!

I'm not shelling out $20 a second

to hear myself called a jackass.

Here's 50.

You're also an asshole!

Yeah! Yeah!

Defy authority, destroy property,

take off people's clothes.

That's what kids want to see.

They don't care if hats are on wrong.

They just want to have fun!

Get over to that house,

or off my set!

Hey, you forgot your rifle.

That's a musket, moron.

Musket.

What's the point of havin' us?

I've been sleeping in a tent for weeks.

It ain't worth it.

It's a complete waste of time.

We've been re-enacting this battle every year

for the last 15 years.

We don't run from the cannons,

we charge the cannons.

I don't want my little boy

seein' me run around like some chicken!

If we ain't chargin', I don't want to go.

I've practiced with this thing all summer.

What are you doin'?

What the hell are you doin'?

What do you think we should do?

How about we charge the cannons?

The British are here. We're here.

What is this?

What's this wire?

That runs out to the explosives.

Anybody here good with electrical things?

I'm a licensed electrician.

Come with me.

Camera one, are you ready?

Ready!

Camera 2?

All set.

Camera 3?

And camera 4?

4's ready.

Camera 5?

Set to go!

All right, men, this is it.

Good luck, sergeant.

Thank you.

Son.

Go get 'em, Floyd.

I will.

Good luck.

Hank.

Mike.

Good luck, Jessie.

All right, men...

move out.

Just so there are no mistakes,

special effects hits the explosion,

this part of the field goes up.

All right.

All set!

All right.

We're rolling!

Action!

Halt!

Ranks ready?

First rank!

Take aim!

Fire!

Nobody fall down!

I'm supposed to get shot!

If you don't feel dead, don't fall down.

Take aim. Fire!

Go get 'em!

What the hell you doin'? Get back!

Elliott, get out of here.

We're taking the cannons!

Elliott, move! You're in the way!

Stop that! This animal's nervous.

You're putting me out of the camera's shot.

Easy, boy.

Steady!

Oh, shit!

Go ahead. Fire the thing.

Hit it.

Hand it all in, folks.

Hey.

Not a bad time?

A pleasant interlude.

A dance. A diversion.

A gossamer dream to ease our cares.

Look how much language I've learned from you!

Hey! He kisses now!

So long, Stanley.

Yeah.

What? What do you want?

Sorry. I hope I didn't ruin things yesterday.

The battle scene?

Are you kidding?

I shot it with six cameras.

It'll go together anyway I want.

Michael, you're gonna love it.

People, load up the bus!

It was very nice meeting you.

It was nice meeting you, too.

I hope we didn't wreck your summer.

You didn't.

No.

Bye, Michael.

Bye, Elliott.

Good-bye. It's been grand.

Bye, Elliott. It has been grand, really.

Oh...

Whoo!

Whoa!

Elliott, please, get on the bus!

We're gonna miss the plane.

You chaps go ahead.

I'll catch you up later.

I just thought...

seriously.

Come on! Elliott!

Bye.

Let's go!

Bye! Bye!

Keep in touch! Bye!

Want to walk a little?

Sure.

How's your mom?

Hanging on. Still a fruitcake.

That's not bad.

Is it getting you down?

We each see things our way. It's fun.

Sure about that?

I'm not so sure about anything anymore.

Sounds even better.

Listen, can I ask you somethin'?

Sure.

You want to try again?

I've been thinking about that.

If you wanted to,

I could be less insistent on certain things.

Me, too.

I don't have to live at your place.

It's silly not to let you keep a shirt there.

Maybe a robe.

It's a real turnoff when you wear mine.

I could stay over once in a while?

Maybe once a week.

Sundays.

How about the whole weekend?

Since I'm there.

Saturday and Sunday?

And Friday. I won't tell you how to cook.

Maybe one weekend a month.

2 weekends a month.

I'll keep jeans and sweatshirts there.

How about it?

Maybe we should go the whole way.

Like what?

Sort of a trial marriage.

Get a license and everything?

Yeah. If we don't like it after a year, we cancel it.

You realize what I'm offering you?

That's almost like living together.

A year is long.

There'd be some sewing.

But not in bed.

6 months.

Nine.

7. I'll leave your career alone.

8, with an option for 4 more.

I can't believe I'm saying this!

I'm putting my name on a license.

This offer expires in 30 seconds.

I'll take a chance if you will.

Mr. James?

Sorry, darling, we're rushed.

Move over, dear. We're running late.

Get in, darling.

I just met you

and I'm feelin'

like we somehow met somewhere before

I think I've loved you

in my dreams a hundred times or maybe more

oh, babe

those sweet sensations

good vibrations

you know it's not my imagination

runnin' wild

I'm gonna hold you

I'm gonna love you

like it's goin' out of style

ahhhhh

somethin' special...

Give us a second?

Ok. Where?

Here, and Mrs. Burgess here.

Michael!

That's my mother.

It's a great movie, Dr. Burgess.

It's American history at its best.

I'll keep you happy

I'll keep you goin'

you'll have kisses overflowin' just like wine

you ain't had nothin'

until you've had a little, teeny taste of mine

ahhhhh

you've got a hunger

and I am gonna feed it

you never had this kind of love before

I guarantee it

somethin' special

is gonna happen tonight

I want you to know that

uh-huh

somethin' special

is gonna happen tonight

I promise I'll be good

and if you're thinkin'

it's as good as it can get

boy, I'm here to tell you

oooh

you ain't seen nothin' yet

What a connection

I just can't conceal it

there's some kind of magic in the air

oh, I can feel it

somethin' special

is gonna happen tonight

I want you to know that

I'm gonna

love you

all these ways

and turn you loose

I'm gonna

stop you

if you say so

you better believe it

somethin' special

is gonna happen tonight

believe

ohh, ohh