Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:18,393 --> 00:00:19,943
This is me!
Oh, this is mine!
2
00:00:19,937 --> 00:00:20,937
‐ Mine. I want that.
Mine. Mine. Mine‐‐
3
00:00:20,938 --> 00:00:21,728
‐ No, that's mine.
Mine‐‐
4
00:00:21,730 --> 00:00:22,770
Oh, I call Roomba.
Ooh, ooh, ooh!
5
00:00:22,773 --> 00:00:24,983
‐ Mine. Mine.
‐ I call Dad's flat screen!
6
00:00:25,359 --> 00:00:26,819
I call‐‐
7
00:00:26,818 --> 00:00:28,568
‐ You're both good kids,
8
00:00:28,570 --> 00:00:30,360
and that's why I'd be happy
9
00:00:30,364 --> 00:00:31,574
to go with either of you.
10
00:00:31,573 --> 00:00:33,163
Ooh! Six‐foot extension cord!
‐ Hey, that goes with my TV!
11
00:00:33,158 --> 00:00:34,578
‐ Oh, you rotten kids!
12
00:00:34,576 --> 00:00:35,446
‐ I saw it first!
13
00:00:35,452 --> 00:00:36,702
‐ Dad wanted me to have it.
14
00:00:36,703 --> 00:00:39,123
It was one of the last things
he ever said to me.
15
00:00:39,122 --> 00:00:42,582
"Melissa, I think of you
as an extension of me.
16
00:00:42,584 --> 00:00:45,464
"I want you to have
the six‐foot extension cord
17
00:00:45,462 --> 00:00:48,052
that clearly goes with the TV."
18
00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:49,758
‐ I can hear him saying that.
19
00:00:49,758 --> 00:00:52,008
‐ I'm just moving out. I'm not dead!
20
00:00:52,010 --> 00:00:53,470
‐ To Mom, you are.
21
00:00:53,470 --> 00:00:56,600
‐ Oh my god, I'm the product
of a broken home.
22
00:00:56,598 --> 00:00:59,348
First this, then I act up
in school, drop out.
23
00:00:59,351 --> 00:01:02,021
All of a sudden, I'm giving happy endings
behind an Arby's
24
00:01:02,020 --> 00:01:04,980
just so I can pay for a taste
of that sweet street sleet.
25
00:01:04,982 --> 00:01:07,032
‐ Jesus, Lou. "Happy endings"?
26
00:01:07,025 --> 00:01:09,485
Does that mean you're giving
full massages behind the Arby's?
27
00:01:09,486 --> 00:01:11,406
‐ Yeah. It's bad.
28
00:01:11,405 --> 00:01:14,825
‐ Kids, listen, the thing you need to know
about me and your Mom is
29
00:01:14,825 --> 00:01:15,695
she's lost!
30
00:01:15,701 --> 00:01:17,371
She's lost her mind, she's lost her way.
31
00:01:17,369 --> 00:01:18,999
You have to stop her!
MODOK,
32
00:01:18,996 --> 00:01:20,326
what are you telling the kids?
33
00:01:20,330 --> 00:01:21,670
‐ I'm comforting them!
34
00:01:21,665 --> 00:01:23,375
And if you tell her
I said any of this,
35
00:01:23,375 --> 00:01:26,795
this'll be one of the many divorces
where it is the kids' fault.
36
00:01:26,795 --> 00:01:29,505
‐ MODOK, it's the movers.
They can be here tomorrow.
37
00:01:29,506 --> 00:01:30,586
Will you be home before six?
38
00:01:30,591 --> 00:01:33,891
‐ Hmm, tomorrow.
Let me pull up the ol' calendar.
39
00:01:33,886 --> 00:01:36,556
Ooh, I'm swamped.
What's next week look like?
40
00:01:36,555 --> 00:01:38,425
Uhp! Swamped. Swamp, swamp, swamp.
41
00:01:38,432 --> 00:01:40,892
Okay, let's look at Septem‐‐
Nope, Swamptember.
42
00:01:40,893 --> 00:01:43,563
And then actually in Swamptober,
I've got that big trip with the boys
43
00:01:43,562 --> 00:01:44,612
to the swamp of course.
44
00:01:44,605 --> 00:01:46,975
Uh, just tell the movers
we'll schedule something in the new year.
45
00:01:46,982 --> 00:01:48,402
‐ MODOK, you're stalling.
46
00:01:48,400 --> 00:01:51,490
‐ I'm not stalling!
Oh my god, what's that?
47
00:01:51,486 --> 00:01:54,196
Nice, just bought myself
three more seconds in the house.
48
00:01:54,198 --> 00:01:57,028
‐ This is starting
to really make me sad.
49
00:01:57,034 --> 00:01:59,164
‐ Oh, sweetie, it's okay.
50
00:01:59,161 --> 00:02:01,001
We'll still do things as a family.
51
00:02:00,996 --> 00:02:04,206
The signing of divorce papers,
the ugly custody battle.
52
00:02:04,208 --> 00:02:05,668
You're gonna be involved
with all of it.
53
00:02:05,667 --> 00:02:08,047
‐ No. Dad's CD collection.
54
00:02:08,045 --> 00:02:10,125
Who the hell still has CDs?
55
00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:11,380
‐ What's a Hoobastank?
56
00:02:11,381 --> 00:02:13,261
‐ The Beatles of the late '90s.
57
00:02:13,258 --> 00:02:14,378
‐ Who are the Beatles?
58
00:02:14,384 --> 00:02:16,514
‐ Hoobastank of the early '60s.
59
00:02:16,512 --> 00:02:18,312
‐ Oh‐ho‐ho‐ho. Okay. Alright.
60
00:02:18,305 --> 00:02:21,635
‐ Aw, Third Eye Blind.
I can't believe you still have this.
61
00:02:21,642 --> 00:02:24,602
We were all set to see them
at Kirby University,
62
00:02:24,603 --> 00:02:26,103
but we missed it for some reason.
63
00:02:26,522 --> 00:02:27,772
Would have been fun.
64
00:02:28,398 --> 00:02:30,608
‐ You know what? Keep the CD.
65
00:02:30,609 --> 00:02:32,239
Unfortunately, I can't part with it,
66
00:02:32,236 --> 00:02:34,276
so I'm going to have
to stick around as well.
67
00:02:34,279 --> 00:02:36,319
We need to stay together for the CD.
68
00:02:36,782 --> 00:02:38,702
‐ I need you to pick
a date for the movers.
69
00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:41,949
‐ Alright, kids, I'm so sorry
I called you rotten.
70
00:02:41,954 --> 00:02:43,874
Here's the deal: I'm scared.
71
00:02:43,872 --> 00:02:45,292
There are a lot of changes going on,
72
00:02:45,290 --> 00:02:48,000
and I do not want to end up
at your Dad's studio apartment.
73
00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:50,131
‐ Why is the toaster talking to us?
74
00:02:50,128 --> 00:02:52,338
‐ You little brats! You want a toaster?
75
00:02:52,339 --> 00:02:53,589
Next time you two are taking a bath,
76
00:02:53,590 --> 00:02:55,630
I'm gonna jump in
and fry you all to hell.
77
00:02:55,634 --> 00:02:57,304
‐ Uh, we're not little kids anymore.
78
00:02:57,302 --> 00:02:59,182
We don't take baths together.
79
00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:02,139
‐ That makes me so sad!
80
00:03:02,140 --> 00:03:03,680
Where is the time going?
81
00:03:03,684 --> 00:03:07,104
This family is falling apart!
I'm so scared!
82
00:03:14,820 --> 00:03:17,200
Umm, mocha frappe for the gentleman.
83
00:03:17,197 --> 00:03:19,447
‐ Silence! I'm busy hacking
SHIELD's servers.
84
00:03:19,449 --> 00:03:22,619
I have no time to leisurely consume
iced beverages.
85
00:03:22,619 --> 00:03:25,249
I didn't say I didn't want it.
Hold it to my mouth while I work.
86
00:03:26,748 --> 00:03:30,038
Well? Don't you want to know
why I'm hacking into SHIELD?
87
00:03:30,043 --> 00:03:32,303
‐ Yes, of course. Sorry.
I haven't been sleeping well.
88
00:03:32,296 --> 00:03:33,416
My phantom limb pain has been‐‐
89
00:03:33,422 --> 00:03:36,432
‐ I'm hacking into SHIELD to take back
the time machine I invented
90
00:03:36,425 --> 00:03:37,715
and they stole.
91
00:03:38,635 --> 00:03:41,425
Don't you want to know
why I need the time machine?
92
00:03:41,430 --> 00:03:42,810
‐ I'm sorry. It's hard to concentrate.
93
00:03:42,806 --> 00:03:44,846
I've been on a lot of anti‐depressants
since I lost my favorite arm‐‐
94
00:03:44,850 --> 00:03:46,390
‐ Oh my god, Gary.
95
00:03:46,393 --> 00:03:49,353
Keep your personal life
out of the office.
96
00:03:49,354 --> 00:03:51,654
I'm gonna use the time machine
to fix my marriage,
97
00:03:51,648 --> 00:03:53,688
by taking my wife
to a Third Eye Blind concert
98
00:03:53,692 --> 00:03:55,152
from 17 years ago.
99
00:03:55,152 --> 00:03:57,652
Then she'll remember how things
used to be between us.
100
00:03:57,654 --> 00:04:00,414
A time before I felt comfortable enough
to fart in our marital bed.
101
00:04:00,407 --> 00:04:01,827
And at her father's deathbed.
102
00:04:01,825 --> 00:04:02,985
And at his wake.
103
00:04:02,993 --> 00:04:05,663
And during the entirety
of her tearful eulogy.
104
00:04:07,539 --> 00:04:09,079
No! What's happening?
105
00:04:09,082 --> 00:04:10,332
‐ M‐m‐m‐m‐Modawg!
106
00:04:10,334 --> 00:04:13,964
Great to see you enjoying
our new Peaceful Pause policy.
107
00:04:13,962 --> 00:04:16,842
All computers shut down
the last minute of every hour.
108
00:04:16,840 --> 00:04:19,220
A gift to all our employees.
109
00:04:19,218 --> 00:04:22,138
‐ You dare attack MODOK's productivity?
110
00:04:22,137 --> 00:04:24,307
‐ Take a break. Stretch your legs.
111
00:04:24,306 --> 00:04:26,976
Take some time to nurture
your physical self.
112
00:04:26,975 --> 00:04:29,475
‐ I'm in peak physical condition!
113
00:04:29,478 --> 00:04:32,978
‐ Peak condition?
More like peak of Shit Mountain.
114
00:04:33,815 --> 00:04:36,435
‐ Shit Mountain's not real!
She made it up! You gotta believe me!
115
00:04:36,443 --> 00:04:38,783
‐ Ah, the Compact Disc.
116
00:04:38,779 --> 00:04:40,819
Sometimes, because I'm your superior,
117
00:04:40,822 --> 00:04:43,582
I forget how much older you are than me.
118
00:04:48,163 --> 00:04:50,963
‐ Austin, answer the following questions:
119
00:04:50,958 --> 00:04:52,168
What was the address
of your childhood home?
120
00:04:52,167 --> 00:04:53,087
Was your bedroom on the first floor?
121
00:04:53,085 --> 00:04:54,415
Did the window have
an easily pickable lock?
122
00:04:54,419 --> 00:04:56,169
Were you deathly allergic
to anything as a kid?
123
00:04:56,171 --> 00:04:58,381
‐ Look at you, taking an interest.
124
00:04:58,382 --> 00:05:01,182
401 East 97th Street.
Yes. Yes. And strawberries.
125
00:05:01,176 --> 00:05:03,966
I'm deathly allergic to strawberries.
126
00:05:05,138 --> 00:05:08,058
You see? Bros for life
in one Peaceful Pause.
127
00:05:08,058 --> 00:05:11,308
How 'bout I pop by with
some Topo Chicos in 59 minutes
128
00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:14,731
and we do a deep dive
on Mo‐daddy‐doh‐dawg?
129
00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:19,950
‐ Aha! I've located the SHIELD facility
containing my time machine.
130
00:05:19,945 --> 00:05:23,315
To obtain it, I'll have
to use my incredible mastery
131
00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:24,783
of espionage.
132
00:05:25,534 --> 00:05:28,624
Ayyy, I'm water delivery man
Dave Deepdishski.
133
00:05:28,620 --> 00:05:31,870
From Chicago.
Chitown, my town, is where I hail from.
134
00:05:31,874 --> 00:05:34,334
When I'm not chowin' down
on authentic hot beef sandwiches,
135
00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:36,134
I'm takin' architectural boat tours
136
00:05:36,128 --> 00:05:37,798
and visiting da Sears Tower.
137
00:05:37,796 --> 00:05:41,506
And I'm Kyle I'yam.
From Columbus, Ohio, I hail.
138
00:05:41,508 --> 00:05:43,428
‐ First of all, it's the Willis Tower now.
139
00:05:43,427 --> 00:05:45,717
‐ And secondly, we don't have
water coolers.
140
00:05:45,721 --> 00:05:46,641
Also, how did you get up here?
141
00:05:49,057 --> 00:05:51,307
‐ Plan B: Human Projectile.
What's human proj‐‐
142
00:05:53,478 --> 00:05:56,818
Cerebro, Ultimate Nullifier,
143
00:05:57,149 --> 00:06:00,649
Dr. Strange's prescription pad. Oh, rip!
144
00:06:01,069 --> 00:06:03,029
Here it is! My time machine!
145
00:06:03,030 --> 00:06:05,450
Hand me that glowing purple crystal.
What is it?
146
00:06:05,449 --> 00:06:06,949
‐ The Celestial Chrono‐Crystal,
147
00:06:06,950 --> 00:06:09,240
the cosmic artifact that powers
my time machine.
148
00:06:09,244 --> 00:06:10,874
By the way, I hope kids
were not in the picture
149
00:06:10,871 --> 00:06:14,121
because the crystal you're holding
is highly radioactive.
150
00:06:14,124 --> 00:06:15,714
Definitely sterile now.
151
00:06:15,709 --> 00:06:18,299
Your balls are completely useless.
Purely for show.
152
00:06:18,295 --> 00:06:20,045
Ha. What?
‐ Ugh, enough about you
153
00:06:20,047 --> 00:06:21,797
and the imaginary family
you'll never have.
154
00:06:21,798 --> 00:06:23,758
Time to go save mine!
155
00:06:27,054 --> 00:06:30,644
‐ Well, I guess that's... it.
156
00:06:30,641 --> 00:06:32,561
‐ Actually, I was thinking‐‐
157
00:06:32,559 --> 00:06:34,599
‐ Please, just don't make this
difficult, MODOK.
158
00:06:34,603 --> 00:06:36,943
‐ Wait, hear me out. I thought
we could take a trip together.
159
00:06:36,939 --> 00:06:38,319
Somewhere you always wanted to go.
160
00:06:38,315 --> 00:06:40,605
‐ The flagship Bubba Gump Shrimp
in Fort Lauderdale!
161
00:06:40,609 --> 00:06:42,029
‐ No.
‐ Bubba Gump Daytona Beach!
162
00:06:42,027 --> 00:06:43,397
‐ No!
‐ Bubba Gump Charleston?
163
00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:46,323
‐ No! Why are all the places
you want to go Bubba Gumps?
164
00:06:46,323 --> 00:06:48,083
‐ I go nuts for their rice.
It's the best rice.
165
00:06:48,075 --> 00:06:50,235
‐ I want to take you somewhere
no one else can.
166
00:06:50,244 --> 00:06:52,584
That Third Eye Blind concert
we missed 17 years ago,
167
00:06:52,579 --> 00:06:54,999
with this time machine I invented.
168
00:06:54,998 --> 00:06:56,288
‐ Yeah, no.
169
00:06:56,291 --> 00:06:58,591
Leaping through space
and time is super complicated,
170
00:06:58,585 --> 00:07:00,165
and I have a book signing
at Barnes & Noble
171
00:07:00,170 --> 00:07:01,800
and I want to get there
before they go out of business.
172
00:07:01,797 --> 00:07:05,337
‐ It won't take any time at all.
Literally. It's a time machine.
173
00:07:05,342 --> 00:07:07,512
If you'd said yes, we'd be back already.
174
00:07:07,511 --> 00:07:09,141
‐ This feels like another stall.
175
00:07:09,137 --> 00:07:12,017
‐ Think of it as just a civil goodbye
before we part ways.
176
00:07:12,015 --> 00:07:14,265
One last memory before our fresh start.
177
00:07:15,060 --> 00:07:15,980
‐ Huh.
178
00:07:16,395 --> 00:07:18,435
That is surprisingly mature of you.
179
00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:21,778
I mean, yeah, I guess
we could try a night out.
180
00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:22,605
As friends.
181
00:07:22,609 --> 00:07:25,739
‐ Great! Let me just punch in
the coordinates,
182
00:07:25,737 --> 00:07:28,317
which I totally know how to do, and‐‐
183
00:07:30,784 --> 00:07:32,834
The lease was almost up anyway.
184
00:07:32,828 --> 00:07:33,908
And‐‐
185
00:07:34,705 --> 00:07:36,455
Boom! Science!
186
00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:37,916
After you, my lady.
187
00:07:37,916 --> 00:07:39,416
‐ Why, thank you.
188
00:07:40,335 --> 00:07:41,955
‐ Hey, give me a quick thumbs up
189
00:07:41,962 --> 00:07:45,382
if the hole through space/time
doesn't tear you apart atom by at‐‐
190
00:07:45,382 --> 00:07:46,262
Oh!
191
00:07:47,843 --> 00:07:52,263
What up, 17 years
in the past party people!
192
00:07:52,264 --> 00:07:53,644
‐ Where's the concert?
193
00:07:54,683 --> 00:07:56,143
‐ Maybe we're early?
194
00:07:57,060 --> 00:08:00,190
‐ Yeah.
Four years early.
195
00:08:00,189 --> 00:08:01,269
‐ Oh no,
196
00:08:01,273 --> 00:08:04,943
we overshot Third Eye Blind
and we're in the year of Chumbawamba.
197
00:08:04,943 --> 00:08:06,703
Stupid thing,
probably didn't account
198
00:08:06,695 --> 00:08:08,905
for leap years
and daylight savings time
199
00:08:08,906 --> 00:08:11,236
and the gold bangles
you shouldn't have worn into the portal
200
00:08:11,241 --> 00:08:14,041
because everyone knows
you can't wear metal into a portal.
201
00:08:14,036 --> 00:08:16,036
‐ Are you seriously blaming me?
202
00:08:16,038 --> 00:08:19,078
Your hoverchair is
nine different kinds of metal!
203
00:08:19,082 --> 00:08:21,542
‐ Oh, look who's suddenly
a metallurgist!
204
00:08:21,543 --> 00:08:25,093
I didn't know you were keeping track
of all the alloys in my chair.
205
00:08:26,548 --> 00:08:28,048
Ahh!
206
00:08:28,050 --> 00:08:29,090
Ahh!
207
00:08:29,426 --> 00:08:31,176
Ahh! I won't touch your stuff!
208
00:08:31,178 --> 00:08:34,678
‐ You dare eat MODOK's ramen?
209
00:08:34,681 --> 00:08:36,181
You obviously have a death wish.
210
00:08:36,183 --> 00:08:38,483
I mean, seriously, you never wear
flip‐flops in the showers,
211
00:08:38,477 --> 00:08:40,187
it's like you want meningitis, Tyler.
212
00:08:42,648 --> 00:08:45,068
You are but one of the many
I will crush along my path
213
00:08:45,067 --> 00:08:48,277
to self‐assured greatness,
for the future is MODOK!
214
00:08:48,278 --> 00:08:50,028
Of course I know
how to work the time machine!
215
00:08:50,030 --> 00:08:51,660
I invented the time machine!
216
00:08:51,657 --> 00:08:53,407
‐ Ugh, this is‐‐
‐ That's me!
217
00:08:53,408 --> 00:08:55,988
That's my future self!
I knew I'd crack the laws of time.
218
00:08:55,994 --> 00:08:57,544
You never believed me, Tyler!
219
00:08:57,538 --> 00:08:59,998
And you never once complimented
my hilarious poster.
220
00:08:59,998 --> 00:09:01,918
I can't even look at it right now.
221
00:09:03,377 --> 00:09:06,877
Oh, I've gotta go meet myself
and hear how I conquered the world!
222
00:09:09,550 --> 00:09:11,340
‐ We're stuck here, aren't we?
223
00:09:11,343 --> 00:09:12,853
‐ I need quiet, Jodie.
224
00:09:12,845 --> 00:09:17,055
My masterful computer brain
is processing incredibly complicated‐‐
225
00:09:17,057 --> 00:09:19,387
Oh! I put a paperclip in the little hole
226
00:09:19,393 --> 00:09:21,523
in my time travel watchy‐thing,
and something's happening!
227
00:09:21,520 --> 00:09:24,020
‐ Are you sure we should keep
screwing with time travel?
228
00:09:24,022 --> 00:09:25,822
‐ I know how time travel works.
229
00:09:25,816 --> 00:09:28,856
Now quick, through the doory‐door thing
before the wavy stuff closes!
230
00:09:29,361 --> 00:09:31,861
‐ Wait, Future Me!
I have so many questions!
231
00:09:31,864 --> 00:09:33,954
Oh crap! My favorite Teva!
232
00:09:39,371 --> 00:09:41,041
‐ Holy shit, it worked!
233
00:09:41,039 --> 00:09:41,919
I mean‐‐
234
00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:43,325
Holy shit, it worked.
235
00:09:44,251 --> 00:09:45,501
Wow.
236
00:09:45,502 --> 00:09:46,962
They sound so good live!
237
00:09:46,962 --> 00:09:48,842
‐ Oh, I just hope they play
my favorite song.
238
00:09:48,839 --> 00:09:49,969
You know the one that's like,
239
00:09:49,965 --> 00:09:53,835
yeah, girl.
240
00:09:53,844 --> 00:09:55,264
‐ You know, I can't remember
241
00:09:55,262 --> 00:09:57,012
why we missed the concert
in the first place
242
00:09:57,014 --> 00:09:59,564
but, oh, I'm so glad
we finally made it.
243
00:10:13,405 --> 00:10:14,865
Come on, dance!
244
00:10:14,865 --> 00:10:16,325
‐ Me? Dance? I‐‐
245
00:10:16,325 --> 00:10:18,655
‐ Oh, get out of that big head of yours
246
00:10:18,660 --> 00:10:20,250
and enjoy this with me!
247
00:10:21,079 --> 00:10:23,669
‐ What are you‐‐
248
00:10:24,499 --> 00:10:26,169
‐ Aw, look at you all‐‐
249
00:10:36,011 --> 00:10:37,851
Hey, let's get closer to the stage.
250
00:10:40,015 --> 00:10:41,845
Excuse me. 'Scuse me. Can I just‐‐
251
00:10:41,850 --> 00:10:43,100
Allow me.
252
00:10:44,061 --> 00:10:45,691
‐ What a gentleman.
253
00:10:45,687 --> 00:10:47,187
I wanna do something reckless!
254
00:10:47,689 --> 00:10:50,479
Okay, una, dos, tres!
255
00:10:50,901 --> 00:10:52,401
‐ You! Catch my girl or die!
256
00:10:52,402 --> 00:10:55,032
And you! Bend your goddamn knees
and protect the back!
257
00:10:55,030 --> 00:10:56,820
And you! Your face is round!
258
00:10:56,823 --> 00:10:58,243
You're supposed to wear square glasses!
259
00:10:58,242 --> 00:10:59,082
Woo!
260
00:11:00,536 --> 00:11:01,996
I... I‐‐
261
00:11:01,995 --> 00:11:03,995
Don't forget about Child Slaughter.
262
00:11:04,581 --> 00:11:06,881
That's right, Child Slaughter, the band.
263
00:11:06,875 --> 00:11:08,995
With their new album,
Death by Strawberry.
264
00:11:09,002 --> 00:11:11,422
Act now because next stop is Austin.
265
00:11:11,421 --> 00:11:13,591
‐ Woo! Oh, watch your hands, buddy.
266
00:11:17,177 --> 00:11:19,257
‐ Ugh, I don't want to leave now.
267
00:11:19,263 --> 00:11:20,893
‐ Featuring the new single
268
00:11:20,889 --> 00:11:23,639
You'll Be Back in A Minute,
She Won't Even Know.
269
00:11:25,477 --> 00:11:27,147
‐ Well, can't fight the universe.
270
00:11:28,397 --> 00:11:29,607
‐ Woo‐hoo!
271
00:11:32,192 --> 00:11:34,242
‐ He's up to something.
Follow him, girl!
272
00:11:34,236 --> 00:11:36,446
‐ Is that a song
by Child Slaughter?
273
00:11:36,446 --> 00:11:39,366
‐ No! It's an opinion! By me!
274
00:11:44,371 --> 00:11:46,581
‐ Enjoy your dreams, young Austin,
275
00:11:46,582 --> 00:11:48,792
for they shall be your last‐‐
276
00:11:48,792 --> 00:11:51,592
Whoa,
a red Ferrari racecar bed?
277
00:11:51,587 --> 00:11:55,007
Even in your final moments, you continue
to lord your power over me.
278
00:11:58,719 --> 00:12:00,219
Wait, can I really do this?
279
00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:02,060
Okay, pro: I stop him
280
00:12:02,055 --> 00:12:03,765
and he never grows up
to take over AIM.
281
00:12:03,765 --> 00:12:06,055
Con: I'm doin' a boy murder.
282
00:12:06,059 --> 00:12:07,729
Oh, but maybe he's an evil child?
283
00:12:14,318 --> 00:12:17,028
‐ Synergistic paradigm,
vertical integration‐‐
284
00:12:17,029 --> 00:12:18,739
‐ Open wide,
285
00:12:18,739 --> 00:12:20,989
strawberry fairy's here.
286
00:12:20,991 --> 00:12:23,081
‐ What are you doing?
287
00:12:23,076 --> 00:12:26,576
‐ Uh... this is... my friend
who said when he was younger
288
00:12:26,580 --> 00:12:30,750
he wished he had woken up
with... jelly in his mouth?
289
00:12:30,751 --> 00:12:32,341
Oh boy.
‐ Austin?
290
00:12:32,336 --> 00:12:34,246
And let me guess,
291
00:12:34,254 --> 00:12:35,924
he's allergic to jelly?
292
00:12:35,923 --> 00:12:38,263
Strawberries.
‐ This was a work trip?
293
00:12:38,258 --> 00:12:39,758
I was a plus one?
294
00:12:39,760 --> 00:12:41,510
I don't know why I thought
I could expect you to‐‐
295
00:12:41,512 --> 00:12:43,602
Please stop trying to kill him
while I'm talking to you.
296
00:12:43,597 --> 00:12:46,517
‐ But he took my company from me!
297
00:12:48,352 --> 00:12:50,232
‐ You disgust me.
298
00:12:50,229 --> 00:12:52,439
‐ Jodie, look!
It's me from college!
299
00:12:52,439 --> 00:12:53,649
‐ Silence, you worm!
300
00:12:53,649 --> 00:12:55,779
‐ And what a rude little boy I am!
301
00:12:55,776 --> 00:12:58,316
‐ I followed you from my time.
What a disappointment.
302
00:12:58,320 --> 00:13:02,200
All my genius reduced
to a pathetic, sniveling husband
303
00:13:02,199 --> 00:13:05,289
that uses time travel to attend concerts
with some big‐hipped woman
304
00:13:05,285 --> 00:13:06,695
instead of taking over the world.
305
00:13:06,703 --> 00:13:08,753
‐ Your youthful ignorance is laughable.
306
00:13:08,747 --> 00:13:12,247
In time, you will learn that
MODOK likes them big ol' juicy butts!
307
00:13:12,251 --> 00:13:14,131
Now give me back
my time machine!
308
00:13:26,723 --> 00:13:29,143
‐ We were supposed to be emperor
of a perfect world,
309
00:13:29,142 --> 00:13:31,442
not some sad dad
who answers to others.
310
00:13:31,436 --> 00:13:33,436
I refuse to accept you as my future!
311
00:13:33,438 --> 00:13:35,728
‐ And I'd spank you
if you weren't myself!
312
00:13:43,866 --> 00:13:44,776
‐ Ah!
313
00:13:49,621 --> 00:13:51,501
‐ Oh my god!
‐ I know.
314
00:13:51,498 --> 00:13:53,418
Austin slept
through the entire fight.
315
00:13:53,417 --> 00:13:55,037
He's always so well‐rested.
316
00:13:55,043 --> 00:13:57,053
‐ You just killed your younger self!
317
00:13:57,045 --> 00:13:58,755
Are you gonna be... erased?
318
00:13:58,755 --> 00:14:01,335
‐ No! Nooo!
My foot's starting to disappear!
319
00:14:01,341 --> 00:14:03,141
It's indescribably painful‐‐
320
00:14:03,135 --> 00:14:04,385
Oh, I just stepped on a Lego.
321
00:14:04,386 --> 00:14:06,886
We must go find me in this timeline.
See if I'm still here.
322
00:14:06,889 --> 00:14:09,099
It's official, we're pregnant!
323
00:14:09,099 --> 00:14:09,979
Are you excited?
324
00:14:09,975 --> 00:14:11,635
‐ How can I be excited about a birth
325
00:14:11,643 --> 00:14:13,193
when I have to plan a funeral,
326
00:14:13,187 --> 00:14:14,977
for all of my dreams!
327
00:14:14,980 --> 00:14:17,520
Oh, okay. Thank god.
You still exist.
328
00:14:17,524 --> 00:14:20,244
‐ The portal must've just returned
my college‐aged self
329
00:14:20,235 --> 00:14:21,525
to the year he came from,
330
00:14:21,528 --> 00:14:23,658
setting everything back
to the way it should be.
331
00:14:23,655 --> 00:14:25,065
‐ Look! I totally forgot.
332
00:14:25,073 --> 00:14:27,413
We missed the concert
because we'd just found out
333
00:14:27,409 --> 00:14:28,829
I was pregnant with Melissa.
334
00:14:28,827 --> 00:14:30,497
Not exactly your finest hour.
335
00:14:30,495 --> 00:14:33,415
‐ No. No! No!
336
00:14:33,832 --> 00:14:34,882
I want to go home.
337
00:14:34,875 --> 00:14:36,785
Build another time machine
and get us out of here.
338
00:14:36,793 --> 00:14:38,253
‐ I‐I can't. It's broken.
339
00:14:38,253 --> 00:14:39,883
‐ So fix it. You invented it.
340
00:14:39,880 --> 00:14:42,590
‐ Yeah, about that. I could tell
you misheard me before.
341
00:14:42,591 --> 00:14:44,591
I never said I invented
the time machine.
342
00:14:44,593 --> 00:14:46,553
Monica invented
the time machine.
343
00:14:46,553 --> 00:14:49,393
I said I indented
the time machine.
344
00:14:49,389 --> 00:14:52,099
I sat on it in the lab
while Monica was, you know, inventing it.
345
00:14:52,100 --> 00:14:54,440
‐ So we have to find Monica
if we want to get home?
346
00:14:54,436 --> 00:14:57,556
‐ Unless you want something indented.
And then we could do it right here.
347
00:14:59,066 --> 00:15:01,066
Hi! Are you the judges?
348
00:15:01,068 --> 00:15:04,148
This is my project.
An instantly regenerating fruit tree.
349
00:15:06,490 --> 00:15:08,740
I'm gonna heal
the world's hunger problem
350
00:15:08,742 --> 00:15:11,792
with my big brain
and even bigger heart.
351
00:15:11,787 --> 00:15:14,207
‐ This is the girl
who makes you cry at work?
352
00:15:14,206 --> 00:15:17,416
‐ She says mean lies about my body
that I wish weren't true.
353
00:15:17,417 --> 00:15:19,287
‐ Hi, yeah, uh,
we're from the future.
354
00:15:19,294 --> 00:15:21,004
You built a time machine
that he broke,
355
00:15:21,004 --> 00:15:23,424
and we need you to build another one
or we're stuck here.
356
00:15:23,423 --> 00:15:25,183
‐ I'm so sorry, Future Lady.
357
00:15:25,175 --> 00:15:27,545
I don't know how to make
a time machine yet.
358
00:15:27,553 --> 00:15:29,973
I'm still stuck
on more rudimentary problems
359
00:15:29,972 --> 00:15:32,642
like spontaneous
organic matter genesis.
360
00:15:32,641 --> 00:15:35,191
‐ Oh my god.
We're trapped in the past.
361
00:15:35,185 --> 00:15:37,185
‐ Well, gee,
if you're stuck in the past,
362
00:15:37,187 --> 00:15:39,937
you can't interact
with anyone or anything.
363
00:15:39,940 --> 00:15:42,990
You could end up erasing everything
you care about in the future.
364
00:15:42,985 --> 00:15:46,195
‐ Bubba Gump Shrimp‐‐
I mean, uh, the children!
365
00:15:46,196 --> 00:15:47,656
‐ Relax, I won't mess with stuff.
366
00:15:47,656 --> 00:15:49,826
By the way,
there's something wrong with your tree.
367
00:15:49,825 --> 00:15:51,615
‐ What did you do?
368
00:15:51,618 --> 00:15:52,828
‐ I don't even like the taste,
369
00:15:52,828 --> 00:15:55,498
I was just curious to see
if my body was capable of defeating it.
370
00:15:55,497 --> 00:15:56,827
It was!
371
00:15:57,791 --> 00:15:59,881
‐ Whatever this is, I hate it.
372
00:15:59,877 --> 00:16:03,007
First place goes to Billy McGirk
for his electric potato clock!
373
00:16:03,005 --> 00:16:04,835
‐ At least review my research.
374
00:16:04,840 --> 00:16:06,380
Billy's clock doesn't even work.
375
00:16:06,383 --> 00:16:08,973
‐ But can you imagine if it did?
376
00:16:08,969 --> 00:16:10,049
Astonishing!
377
00:16:10,053 --> 00:16:13,563
As for you, silly girl,
leave the science to the boys.
378
00:16:13,557 --> 00:16:15,557
Damn, I'm a great guidance counselor.
379
00:16:16,852 --> 00:16:18,602
Whatever this is, I hate it.
380
00:16:18,604 --> 00:16:20,404
Leave the science to the boys.
381
00:16:22,065 --> 00:16:22,975
‐ This is a nightmare.
382
00:16:22,983 --> 00:16:24,783
‐ But what if this was
a good nightmare?
383
00:16:24,776 --> 00:16:27,856
Like when you're being chased
by a wolfman, but he's got big boobs.
384
00:16:27,863 --> 00:16:29,953
‐ Yeah, yeah, yeah,
we've all had that dream. So?
385
00:16:29,948 --> 00:16:33,238
‐ Well, I saw you at the concert,
and you seemed so carefree and unburdened.
386
00:16:33,243 --> 00:16:36,293
Your scowl lines barely visible.
We could keep that feeling going.
387
00:16:36,288 --> 00:16:37,788
‐ What are you talking about?
388
00:16:37,789 --> 00:16:39,749
‐ We can catch up
on all the other concerts
389
00:16:39,750 --> 00:16:41,710
and pop culture we missed
over the years.
390
00:16:41,710 --> 00:16:44,420
Imagine, getting to see
Alvin and The Chipmunks: Chipwrecked
391
00:16:44,421 --> 00:16:46,801
on the big screen
the way it was meant to be.
392
00:16:46,798 --> 00:16:48,428
‐ You don't get it, do you?
393
00:16:48,425 --> 00:16:51,465
We're never going to get to see
our kids grow up, get married‐‐
394
00:16:52,346 --> 00:16:55,346
You know what, I would rather spend
the rest of my life
395
00:16:55,349 --> 00:16:57,179
trapped in the past alone
396
00:16:57,184 --> 00:16:59,274
than spend another second with you.
397
00:17:00,729 --> 00:17:03,269
‐ Good! Because you talked
all the way through Chipwrecked,
398
00:17:03,273 --> 00:17:05,033
and I missed pivotal plot points!
399
00:17:05,025 --> 00:17:07,565
Perhaps now I'll finally understand
why Dave got so pissed at Alvin
400
00:17:07,569 --> 00:17:09,659
for eating all the peanut butter
in the first act!
401
00:17:09,655 --> 00:17:12,155
Yes, when it comes out
in just 11 short years,
402
00:17:12,157 --> 00:17:13,827
MODOK will have answers!
403
00:17:16,620 --> 00:17:17,660
See, Jodie?
404
00:17:17,663 --> 00:17:19,293
If we weren't stranded in the past,
405
00:17:19,289 --> 00:17:22,459
we would never know how much
this cider house rules!
406
00:17:22,459 --> 00:17:24,379
‐ Sir, we know you've been living
in this IKEA.
407
00:17:24,378 --> 00:17:25,838
You need to leave.
408
00:17:25,838 --> 00:17:28,718
We also know there are 500 meatballs
missing from the cafeteria.
409
00:17:28,715 --> 00:17:30,375
I'm sorry,
what does this have to do with me?
410
00:17:30,384 --> 00:17:32,934
‐ That's clearly 500 meatballs
in the shape of a woman.
411
00:17:32,928 --> 00:17:34,638
‐ And what a woman!
412
00:17:34,638 --> 00:17:36,468
Look at her,
shedding those pounds.
413
00:17:36,473 --> 00:17:37,893
Trimspa, baby!
414
00:17:37,891 --> 00:17:39,391
‐ Sir, the police will be here
any moment.
415
00:17:39,393 --> 00:17:41,193
‐ I get it, I'm going.
416
00:17:41,186 --> 00:17:43,266
Can I have a moment
to say goodbye to my wife?
417
00:17:48,151 --> 00:17:49,901
Ahh, the old house.
418
00:17:49,903 --> 00:17:52,113
We were so young,
and we didn't have much money.
419
00:17:54,199 --> 00:17:56,739
But it was a hell of a lot more money
than I have now!
420
00:17:56,743 --> 00:17:57,743
MODOK?
421
00:17:57,744 --> 00:17:59,204
Are you robbing us?
422
00:17:59,204 --> 00:18:02,544
‐ Jodie? Holy shit,
you work for NASA now?
423
00:18:02,541 --> 00:18:04,541
‐ No, I fished this
out of a dumpster.
424
00:18:04,543 --> 00:18:06,463
I live in the woods.
I eat squirrels.
425
00:18:06,461 --> 00:18:08,841
‐ Good. So you landed
on your feet.
426
00:18:08,839 --> 00:18:10,339
I‐‐ I've been thriving too.
427
00:18:10,340 --> 00:18:12,180
Lots of friends.
None of them meat.
428
00:18:12,176 --> 00:18:15,596
Or balls. Certainly not
a delicious combination of the two.
429
00:18:15,596 --> 00:18:17,676
Listen, I've been thinking a lot‐‐
‐ Shh!
430
00:18:17,681 --> 00:18:19,271
‐ No, you need to hear this.
431
00:18:19,266 --> 00:18:20,726
It turns out doing nothing
but catching up
432
00:18:20,726 --> 00:18:23,306
on years of pop culture...
is lonely‐‐
433
00:18:23,312 --> 00:18:24,862
‐ Will you just shut up and look!
434
00:18:33,655 --> 00:18:35,615
‐ Oh. Ohh.
435
00:19:50,148 --> 00:19:52,228
‐ The lease was almost up anyway.
436
00:19:52,234 --> 00:19:53,364
And‐‐
437
00:19:54,111 --> 00:19:55,901
Boom! Science!
438
00:19:55,904 --> 00:19:57,324
After you, my lady.
439
00:19:57,322 --> 00:19:58,952
‐ Why‐‐
440
00:20:00,033 --> 00:20:01,333
‐ What's happening?
441
00:20:08,292 --> 00:20:10,672
‐ Wait, we need to tell them
that we belong to‐‐
442
00:20:13,422 --> 00:20:15,672
‐ Well, that was super weird.
443
00:20:15,674 --> 00:20:17,054
What do you think
she was saying?
444
00:20:17,050 --> 00:20:19,850
"We belong to‐‐"
‐ Who cares?
445
00:20:19,845 --> 00:20:23,765
Two old squirrel‐people versions of us
just jumped out of the bushes.
446
00:20:23,765 --> 00:20:26,385
Seems like your time travel plans
went haywire,
447
00:20:26,393 --> 00:20:27,523
just like I knew they would.
448
00:20:27,519 --> 00:20:29,769
‐ Okay, no time travel,
but I have a cosmic cube‐‐
449
00:20:29,771 --> 00:20:30,771
‐ No!
450
00:20:30,772 --> 00:20:33,572
No more time travel,
no more portals,
451
00:20:33,567 --> 00:20:34,937
no more stalling.
452
00:20:35,569 --> 00:20:37,449
You just, you just need to go.
453
00:20:37,446 --> 00:20:38,816
‐ Let me fix this.
454
00:20:38,822 --> 00:20:41,032
Let me make us
like we used to be.
455
00:20:41,033 --> 00:20:42,453
‐ You can't.
456
00:20:42,451 --> 00:20:44,951
We're not
those people anymore, MODOK.
457
00:20:44,953 --> 00:20:46,373
We've changed.
458
00:21:03,889 --> 00:21:07,019
‐ Not tonight, Turkey Man.
Not tonight.
459
00:21:08,352 --> 00:21:11,362
Uh, this place is... nice?
460
00:21:11,355 --> 00:21:14,565
The duct tape holding the toilet together
happens to match the color
461
00:21:14,566 --> 00:21:16,066
of all the silverfish living in it.
462
00:21:16,068 --> 00:21:18,238
I find that very charming.
463
00:21:18,237 --> 00:21:20,777
‐ Let's call this what it is. Bad.
464
00:21:20,781 --> 00:21:21,701
‐ Oh, it's rock bottom.
465
00:21:21,698 --> 00:21:24,408
‐ Let's, uh, back it up to bad.
466
00:21:24,409 --> 00:21:26,949
But it's just
a temporary reversal.
467
00:21:26,954 --> 00:21:29,464
Because this is still our future.
468
00:21:29,456 --> 00:21:32,126
‐ Aww, you got a cute little locket
of your family?
469
00:21:32,125 --> 00:21:35,125
‐ It's not a locket,
it's a destiny pendant
470
00:21:35,128 --> 00:21:36,758
that I got at Claire's.
471
00:21:36,755 --> 00:21:38,295
And it stores this.
472
00:21:38,298 --> 00:21:41,338
Behold!
MODOK's Republic of MODOK.
473
00:21:41,343 --> 00:21:43,973
Working title.
Because it's working so well.
474
00:21:43,971 --> 00:21:45,061
‐ Ehhh.
475
00:21:45,055 --> 00:21:47,175
‐ It will be the capital city
of my utopia
476
00:21:47,182 --> 00:21:49,142
after I conquer the world.
477
00:21:49,142 --> 00:21:53,112
Tomorrow, the sun will rise
behind these broken vertical blinds
478
00:21:53,105 --> 00:21:54,815
and a new day will dawn.
479
00:21:54,815 --> 00:21:57,725
I shall reclaim AIM,
I shall reclaim my family,
480
00:21:57,734 --> 00:22:00,154
I shall reclaim my destiny!
481
00:22:00,153 --> 00:22:02,493
How 'bout you reclaim
my foot up your asshole!
482
00:22:02,489 --> 00:22:04,369
‐ How dare you overhear me!
483
00:22:04,366 --> 00:22:06,076
Identify yourself, coward!
484
00:22:06,076 --> 00:22:07,536
I'm Tony in 4G!
485
00:22:07,536 --> 00:22:10,076
I'm gonna come over there
and curb stomp you, you shithead!
486
00:22:10,080 --> 00:22:10,870
Where are you?
487
00:22:10,873 --> 00:22:13,333
‐ I'm the... old Polish woman
488
00:22:13,333 --> 00:22:16,093
in... 3B... tough guy!
489
00:22:16,086 --> 00:22:18,796
Yes! Tomorrow marks
the birth of MODOK 2.0!
490
00:22:47,659 --> 00:22:49,789
‐ Doo doo doo! Right?
Doo doo doo doo!
491
00:22:49,786 --> 00:22:51,206
Doo doo doo!
492
00:22:56,502 --> 00:22:58,502
‐ Finally! I made it!
493
00:23:01,298 --> 00:23:03,758
MODOK, we were supposed
to rule the world,
494
00:23:03,759 --> 00:23:05,509
but you ruined our future.
495
00:23:07,179 --> 00:23:08,929
I'm here to fix it.
496
00:23:08,931 --> 00:23:10,851
And that starts with your family.
497
00:23:10,849 --> 00:23:14,229
But first, I must learn if Dippin' Dots
has taken its rightful place
498
00:23:14,228 --> 00:23:17,478
as the ice cream
of the future.
38896
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof