Original subtitles

The Bet

I look terrible

I'm almost ready...

- Sweetie? - Yes baby ?

Can you make me one more coffee ?

- It's done but it will get cold. - I'm just going to pull on my skirt.

It is not for me, but for your parents.

If you think that I look forward to see you sister again... and her stupid husband.

"Unemployment : a big plunge !"

"Employment : things are getting better"

- Darling, did you get the Mercedes out ? - It's done sweetheart.

We are ready ! Not too ridiculous ?

All that is missing is the bagpipe, Too bad.

Now I know that I can expect Victoria's remarks, but I don't care.

- Are they going to be there too? - It's dad's birthday!

Don't forget to close the window, Let's not waste any time.

No... You could have told me...

I told you 10 times you never listen. Didn't you forget the medication ?

Your sister I could deal with her but the other is just a pain in the ass.

- Did you remember of Dad's medication ? - Of course, I grabbed the most effective, a new one that is cheap.

- Oh no you smoked in the car again... - Alright I'll roll down the window. Happy?

We'll arrive early that's great. You could have put a tie !

No way, your kilt is enough trust me.

Let's go ! Did we forget anything? The gift, the camera...

Our daughter !

- Come in Elodie ! - Hurry up honey.

You see my girl, you might not have a sister But you won't have a brother in law. And that is fortunate !

Fasten your seatbelt!

Did you take your cell phone ? Do you intend to work there ?

I absolutely have to finish a report for tomorrow, last deadline.

- What is that? - It's the gift wrap I didn't have time to wrap it.

I do not know how But we are already late.

Hurry up !

- We should have put a piece of tape... - Nah that will do.

I'm sorry, mom. We are late.

It's okay We are used to it.

Hi everyone ! Sorry, we're a bit late.

Happy birthday, dad!

- How are you ? - Fair.

Let's not waste any time. Come on Dad, serve the champagne ! It's almost 2p.m.

Leave it to Didier he'll do it. Dad, unwrap your presents.

Elodie, you are so pretty ! Kilt looks good on young girls.

- On grown up girls however... - And you dress up like a lassie.

Stop it girls !

Champagne Bernard ? It's Dom Pérignon, from the wine shop.

No, I prefer a simple Ricard. From the supermarket.

It's a backgammon !

Superb ! How beautiful ! How did you know ?

- Mum helped us a bit. - Thank you very much children.

It's nacre on top of it. Since your pearl wedding is soon...

- Very nice ! Thanks Didier. - Mom also said it cost a lot of money.

No it wasn't that expensive!

- What is that? - It's nothing.

- What is that? - Not much...

Did you have a car crash ?

Oh another backgammon !

- Looks like there was a leak. - How foolish. Mom, when I called you you told me...

Oh yes, I ignored that Murielle already bought her gift...

- That's stupid, we will change it. - Especially since it's ridiculous next to yours.

Don't... Dad will train with yours before playing with ours.

I like it, that's the most important. It will be my pocket backgammon.

- It must be practical for travelling. - I'm sure. Let's have a toast !

Bernard, your Ricard... A big or a small pocket one for travelling ?

- You're not upset, are you? - No no.

- The guinea fowl is overcooked - No, it is delicious as usual !

- Mom, you could change from time to time, it's always guinea fowl. - Elbows off the table !

- Bernard, some more ? - No Thank you it's very good. That's quite a change from the canteen.

- How are you doing at work? - Good. - With all we are hearing...

It is hard as usual. Youngsters are left to themselves.

Parents don't have time to look after them. It is the crisis.

Crisis is always pointed out as responsible...

We were bothered by homeless people along the way. Always the same!

I don't know about not having a fixed domicile, but they are always at the same traffic light.

We still gave them something because it's sunday. But we shouldn't I'm sure it's just encouraging them.

- What are you supposed to do today when you are unemployed ? - Wait, some find it convenient not to work.

It's true stepdad. There are two types of unemployed people. It is a matter of will. When you want you can !

What about precarious employment ? It doesn't exist ? We send the young people to the slaughterhouse!

- Are you a state employee? - Yes. - As a school teacher, you have employment security right ?

- Yes, so what ? And I'm a professor not a primary school teacher ! - He might have employment security but he can't afford a Mercedes.

I don't want to buy a Mercedes ! It's crazy I'm perfectly fine ! Why earn always more ? What's the point ?

To make a bit more decent gifts... Not pocket gifts.

Don't do it again like the last time.

Why don't we talk about immigration ?

Dad is right, There are too many black people in France.

- Here it is. - I didn't say that.

- What did she say? - Oh no, you can't smoke now...

You promised me... Wait for after the desert at least.

- Mom, let him live. - Are you following him too, in the middle of the lunch ?

Leave me alone, it's rarely a party here.

Oh by the way, dad's medicine. We almost forgot about it.

- Oh yes on that topic, tell us how me we owe you. - Mum don't worry about 47 Francs 70 cts.

- Dad you'll see that's the most effective nowadays - Thank you, my children.

You'll see it's brand new it's Stabilogondyl... Stabilo...

Stabilocardyl. It's a beta blocker, like the other one but with a more powerful cell membrane stabilization.

It's much clearer now that you have explained it.

I say the best medicine is to stop it.

- Don't restart that again. - The doctor repeated a hundred times :

"Stop smoking, Mr Ramírez, it's for your arteries."

Do you want me to die tomorrow ? Then make me stop right away.

Didier, since you're a pharmacist, tell him ! He might listen to you.

It's true Mr Ramirez, you should moderate a little bit.

Said he while smoking. Talk about the pot calling the kettle black !

Sweetie are you joking ? I am smoking a pack, a pack and a half maximum so...

Daily ? That's a lot ! We barely smoke a pack a day.

- That's already too much. - It doesn't change anything.

Wheter it's one of one and a half, the metabolism is already strongly addicted.

It's the same. Everybody makes the same mistake it's crazy.

Ok I might not be a pharmacist but I'm not an idiot, I can stop anytime !

You ? Are you kidding ? You are even more addicted than I am !

No, really ?! What are you doing here baby ?

No no mister is the winner here, smoking even in the pharmacy.

But darling, I can stop anytime you know it. I told you a thousand times.

Yes but you've restarted a thousand times.

Alright. If that's how it's going, I will not touch a cigarette for 10 days.

Is Mother's Day in 15 days ? There you go, I won't smoke for 15 days.

Go ahead, do the same !

- Hats off Bernard. - I don't want to stop.

- Dad, you should try too. - No, I don't have the courage.

Do you stop too, Dad?

- Don't feel forced. - Is that a joke ? How many days did you say ?

15 days.

We're on for 15 days.

Well, nobody is stopping dessert ?

A cigarillo ? I know that you like them after eating. Come on !

We'll postpone it to tomorrow then ?

Do whatever you want. But I am keeping my word.

Do you need a lighter ?

No you are right.

We said 15 days, better start immediatly.

Shitty little leftist ! His timing is the worst, I was planning to stop.

Poor idiot ! He's teaching lessons and cannot go to the end !

Who knows, maybe he resumed already. You'll ask your sister.

Sometimes I wonder what she's doing with a guy like him.

- Fasten your seatbelt. - Little fool !

- No a big fool ! - I thought it was a joke.

Do I look like I'm kidding? This shitty redneck will not get me on that believe me !

He better hang on !

- When I'm decided it's irrevocable. - I admire you my love.

Fascist ! No wonder that one would want to drop bombs!

Will it bother you if I smoke in the car ?

Not at all. Open the window.

Open the window !

I can not...

I can not...

Honey, have you checked if everything is off ?

- I'm talking to you. Did you turn everything off ? - I didn't turn on anything.

- No I turned it all off. - Lay down then.

- Good night. - Good night.

One day !

One day !

Are you awake already ? Are you okay ?

Me ? I am in full form. No problem.

I have prepared your tea, your honey. Some orange juice for your vitamins.

I'm finishing my coffee, I'll take the girl to school and I'm heading to work.

What are you doing today sweetie ?

I have a rendez vous with Mrs Bricourt.

We have a Christian voluntary friends meeting this morning.

I will take you both with the girl, no problem.

- Are you sure everything is okay ? - Can I entrust you with something ?

- I thought that it would be harder. - What ?

To stop smoking ! I was making it to be all that. Even though I had some weak moments yesterday.

But today it's all over ! Incredible.

How could I have stayed slave to this shit for so long ?

Well shit... You know what I mean.

Maybe it's because I've been thinking about it for a long time.

I've got to admit it's also thanks to that other joke. I have to give him that.

I wonder if he's up to the task...

I'm sure he gave up a long time ago already !

Are you ready ?

I mean I feel like I'm completely transformed ! I am not the same anymore I can breathe deeply.

My head is clean this morning. Food tastes different, my taste changed.

- When did you stop ? - Yesterday

I can tell you it was a bit hard last night. But this morning it's over ! You should try it, it's easy !

It's not the same for me, colleague. I'm into the pipe.

Oh hey Gerard ! Do you know what's up ? I stopped smoking !

Wait I stopped smoking, I am metamorphosed. I am transformed, I am breathing now in the morning.

When I taste it's not the same anymore, Everything is different ! It's incredible I swear.

- It was just a bit hard last night. - For me too it was a bit hard.

Really, did you stop smoking ?

No, a student's parent came to me for a "friendly visit". Do you see what I mean ?

It's becoming too hard. I can't take it anymore !

Stop smoking ! You will see, everything will improve !

I'm not smoking dumbass !

Silence ! Calm down. Mouloud, you deserve the average :10/20.

It's nice, it's formidable... I actually find that very good

There is a good base I don't get why I only rate it 10. I will give you 13/20 because it's worth it.

Sir, you are in such a good mood are you having a date with Claudia Shiffer ?

That's a good one !

Aziz, keep your remarks for yourself. Thank you ! So Moussa... 6/20. What is that ?

It is too bad. You were off to a good start. The beginning was good. It is on topic.

There even is a good MC Solaar quote.

I don't understand, I'll give you 12/20. You deserve it.

At last, Diouf ! He handed me a blank sheet. Can we know why ?

I have family problems sir. You told me that I am a social case yourself.

Diouf, find another excuse. Flip your disc over.

We don't say disc anymore, we say scid.

You are too old fashion sir, discs have only one side today.

Nobody listens to accordion anymore.

- Diouf you are curling near impertinence. - I'm am simply curly sir.

Enough now, we'll see how a radio station works.

Do you mind if I open the window when I smoke sir ?

Aziz ! Please stay serious and be calm everyone ok ?

What is it ? Is there something wrong ?

I have retches. Like nausea.

It happens between meals. And when I eat, I get very unpleasant expulsions...

I understand, Madame de Luynes. But I think...

My son in law, who is osteopath at St Germain en Laye advised me to consume fibers. What do you think about it ?

Since I can't go on the throne anymore, I'm necessarily a bit congested do you see ?

Profexol, Madame de Luynes ! Profexol. With that you'll be set. Profexol.

I'm leaving you with my laboratory assistant.

- Mr Leopold, how are you? - It could be better.

So you are back here ! Apparently it's a bit agitated in your country.

It's not on the prescription but could you give me a Gardomyl box, I am currently a bit nervous.

You know it's not good for you all these anxiolytics, Mr Leopold !

I know, but since I am not sleeping well, I smoke a lot. And since I want to stop smoking...

- Is that so ? That falls well, I stopped ! - Really ?

I can tell you there aren't 36 thousand remedies. Only one : Will.

- Oh well ? How long has it been ? - 1 Day...

Will, Mr Leopold ! And it goes against my interest to tell you that.

On top of deepening the social security hole, which will please our ministers.

- What did you add ? Corticosteroids ? - Yes, absolutely. And a strong one !

Did you read the ordinance ? The doctor precised it clearly, I would pass away with that.

Ah ! If the doctor says so... We'll pass.

- Hello my love ! - Hello baby !

Look, what do you think about it ? I am in such a good shape it's incredible !

- When are we eating ? - I have good news.

Yes ? Well that's good timing because I have good news too.

Did you know that every cigarette not smoked is 10 minutes of life gained ?

So I calculated that one pack is 3 hours 30 gained a day.

Which brings it to 52 days gained after a year, and after 30 years it's 5 extra years !

That means that instead of dying at 80, I'll die at 85 ! Isn't that extraordinary ?

- How will you do... without me ? - But do you get it ?

Now listen and hang on ! I will be on the cover of TV Zap with Franck Tullio.

An exclusive interview ! I have to call Marie-Christine, she'll die of jealousy !

And who's that Franck ? I don't know him.

Yes you do ! The presenter of "Say it with the heart"!

You know, the one who had a 37% market share... among transvestites of over 60 years.

- Oh yeah. You mean a future minister of culture. - That's why I will horn in and not miss it.

Oh please, TV Zap is clearly famous for it's corrosive and engaged articles.

I said that I wouldn't miss it !

Hello ? I'd like to speak to Marie-Christine Schwab please.

I do have to earn a living too. I love you!

Marie-Christine ? It's Victoria !

Are we eating ?

You should stop playing.

Do you like vegetables?

- What does "vegetables" mean? - "Vegetables"? They are vegetables.

Keep reading...

-Do you smoke? What is "smoke"? - Smoke... Keep going !

-You should stop smoking... to smoke - Enough for tonight. Come on.

- Aren't we finishing ? - No we're not, good night !

To smoke, smoking... What are they teaching at school ?

Good night, Daddy

Mrs. Bricourt told me about it, she's into fine art you know it. She said there's a magnificent exhibition.

- Is it in the Netherlands? - No, in Holland, in The Hague.

Round trips are cheap.

She said I have to see Vermeer. Some photos are real masterpieces.

- Vermeer is a painter. - Really ? Maybe he's versatile.

- Well, is there any mash left please ? - Did you buy a new watch ?

- Yes, I did. Is there any mash left please ? - But it is not the right time for that. How much ?

- I don't know... 22 grand, something like that. - Phew you really don't save up your hard work !

Wait ! I knew you would say that. Did you know we saved up ?

- Oh yeah ? - Let's consider the average of one box of cigarettes per day. That's 20 Francs.

That's 140 Francs in one week.

- So after a year, 52 weeks... - 7 280.

Thus a result of 72 800 Francs after 10 years.

Excepting bisextile years... Therefore I could have bought 3 like that and still save up.

So shut your camembert box.

So is there any mash left?

I'm going to bed, I get up early tomorrow.

Oh, so you are doing an interview on Saturday morning?

I am not a little public servant like you, my love.

I was a big smoker. I completely stopped it's been 3 months, it's very difficult

Physically I feel so much better .

- Somebody smoking next to you, does it bother you ? - It's horrible !

Madame is the president of the league against tobacco, against smoke...

I am uncompromising sir.

The cigarette in public areas is unsustainable.

- I agree about public places but you go further, even in the street... - Of course in the street yes.

Don't you think you are bothering people...?

You are a smoker... of Havana.

Close to you, far from him.

I would like to keep you all life long.

Understand me... Sweetie.

You're just a smoker...

Photographer...

I can't do it...

Excuse me.

Dammit !

- 2 news ! - Next one.

- Good evening.

I would like a pack of chlorophyll chewing gum filterfree...

- Sugarfree... - 7,90. Here you have it.

- Keep the change. - Next one !

- A box of Gaulloise and a box of matches please. - 13,90.

- Cigarette paper. - Five francs.

Next.

Two Mars bars, one Bounty and a matchbox ... No, Tic Tac box !

28,60. Next.

- It's you ! - I was thinking I know this voice.

What are you doing here ? That's funny !

How are you ?

- What are you doing here? - Well you know its an old habit...

If I don't have my chewing gum before going to bed, I'm a bit irritable.

Do like me, engage in sports it's relaxing. But it's making me hungry.

- Do you want some? - No thanks.

Are you going that way ?

Well, to go out it's better yeah.

Sorry. Go ahead !

Paris is quite different by night.

It's not the same look. There is night and day, it's different.

Did you also know that apparently telluric waves are coming from the ground ? Very energetic...

- Some sort of positive force you know, that pulls... - Yes, I have also read it somewhere.

Well that's also what made Paris become Paris. The capital...

For sure. If we would have put Paris in the place of Soissons... It would have been less Paris.

- Certainly. Well it's nice to see you outside of family. - Oh yeah it's very pleasant...

- Do you want a chewing gum ? - No thanks. Are you parked there?

- Oh no I'm parked in front of the tobacco store. So I'll get going, kiss you. - No no I will accompany you...

- No you know, I can... - Yeah, I will accompany you, it is a pleasure. Between us...

We are Family.

- Beautiful car ! Alright see you ! - Where did you park?

- Right over there. - Come in, I'll drop you off.

- Nah I'm just over there... - Just come in, I'll drive you !

Come on in, we don't see each other every day...

It's a pleasure you know.

- Where are you parked ? - Right here.

- Well thank you. - You are welcome !

- It was nice. - Have a nice trip back !

- Will you go through the bridge of Neuilly ? - Yes, of course.

Oh I'll follow you then.

- No, go ahead. - Nah I'm following you.

- Oh okay...

- Ciao ! - Bye !

Bastard I'm sure he was about to buy cigarettes... Bye !

I'm sure he was about to buy cigarettes that bastard...

Professor, there is a revolutionary product that was released to help stop smoking.

Are you talking about homosterone ?

Exactly. It is a female hormone and what's formidable is that we have in the studio the first person

who has tried this product.

Dr Didier, is the use of this product safe ?

Absolutely. But even if it had secondary effects...

Wouldn't it be worth it ?

Well I can tell you that I detoxified in two days !

In two days...

Two days !

Two days.

- No, Leave it to me ! Leave it ! - Fine fine.

Excuse me !

Is he feeling right ?

I don't know, since he stopped smoking he's not under control anymore.

There are tranquilizers for that, he'd better get some...

Dude, are you waiting till tomorrow ?

Yes alright give me 2 seconds.

He's feding me up today...

- So ? - Yes, I'm playing now.

Come on !

- Are you okay, Madeleine? - Excuse me ! Excuse me...

- Is stopping to smoke puting you in such a state ? - Yes, it's because I stopped smoking...

- Listen there are very good things to help you stop. - Wait I might not be a doctor like you but I'm not stupid.

Is it swollen there ? Another ball hit on the other side and it will look like a guinea pig it will be very pretty !

What did he say ?

So that's the time you are arriving at ? Bravo ! You could have warned me that we wouldn't eat together...

I was getting concerned. Didn't you take you cell phone ?

What's going on with you ? You fully well knew I had a very important interview !

With your laughable star ?

You won't make me believe that it took you 6 hours to interview

a dumbass who must not know more than 3 different words will you ?

Think again, he is much less stupid than people think and very lucid about what he does.

You are the one not knowing what you are doing sweetie !

Your TV Zap is shit. Your TV is shit. If you keep doing shit like that

I'm all ears ! I'm waiting for the pedagogue's advices.

When someone is teaching three subjects that means he's not able to teach just one.

Oh yeah ? But your playboy can do it all with his ratings and his money right !?

- From tail to head what you are saying doesn't make any sense. - While that guy has a pretty head and a big tail.

How can you be so vulgar, Are you jealous ?

No, I'm not jealous I'm a bit nervous if you didn't notice. And you're really not helping me.

That other one is lucky with your sister. Because your sister might be stupid but at least SHE DOESN'T SMOKE !

- Is that your problem ? - Yes that's it ! - Then go back to smoking and stop pissing me off !

What ?! Repeat what you just said !

Start smoking again and stop pissing me off !

What ?! You are the one daring to tell me that ? After the prisoner life you had me go through ?

Don't smoke here, don't smoke now. And that's on top of endless museum visits

without a smoker area...

In the Louvre I had to hide between Osiris and Ramses II.

No not on the chair !

That other one is lucky with your sister, because she smokes at least. She must understand him...

Do you really think he didn't resume my poor man ?

Why ? Are you aware of something ? Did your sister say something ?

No... Just looking at the state you are in, I can't imagine that human rag not having a setback.

Take your shoes off !

You know what you are right ! I caught him at 1 a.m in the tobacco store. If I hadn't been there...

Oh really and what were you doing at 1 a.m at that tobacco store ?

Of course accusations right away ! You are not doing anything to help me ! Nothing !

How frigid you are ! I mean... Rigid.

It is not like it used to, Bernard. We may have to separate for a while.

Not that straight away... That's not the question.

Why don't we go to marriage therapy ?

Claire wrote an essay about it, Apparently it can work...

Yes...

I love you, you know ? - Yes.

You never say it to me. Why ?

Yeah.

Do you have a reason ?

Yes...

Is there someone else in your life ?

Yes.

- Is there sobody else ?! - Yes, yes.

- Another one ?! - Another what ?

- What are you saying ? - I did not say anything...

Honey, no ! No way.

Bernard do something ! We cannot continue that way.

- It's alright ! - If you don't do it for yourself do it for me.

Yes. I'm going to do something about it, it's alright.

Mommy, what are you reading ?

A novel that Mrs Bricourt recommended to me.

- Have you only read so few pages ? - You are right ! After thought we'll say I'm here.

Here ! I don't understand anything. Sophie sleeps with everybody. First Socrates, then Descartes...

I got this !

Murielle ? Good evening it's Bernard.

Bernard... Oh Bernard ?! How are you ?

Good. Is Didier home ?

- Yes, hold on. - Thank you.

Didier !

It's for you. It's the other one. Bernard !

If he wants you to lend money, you can't.

- Didier, it's Bernard. - What a nice surprise !

So I'm calling you... I hope that I'm not bothering ?

No, not at all. I was quietly reading, sitting in my Chesterfield... My armchair !

It's about our little bet. Do you remember ?

A bet ? What bet ? Oh yes I remember.

I am sorry it completely went out of my mind.

- Are you smoking again? - No, no ! What about you?

No, no. I'm calling you about tomorrow.

It's Sunday, and let's say I would need something to calm me down

and I don't have a prescription.

Well there's no problem helping yourself if you feel fragile, it's normal.

Come to the pharmacy then. I don't know if you...

Make him pay it's no reason !

- Is 10 a.m ok ? - Yes, 10 a.m that's perfect.

- Be on time alright ? - I'll be on time.

- See you tomorrow then. - See you tomorrow.

Bye !

He's breaking down. He's breaking down. He's breaking down sweetheart !

- Sorry, how long have you been waiting for ? - No, I just got here.

I had to fill the tank of my big car.

- Is yours broken down ? - No I came jogging.

- Can you help me ? - Sure. I'm into jogging a lot.

Stop. That's good.

- So you feel nervous apparently ? - It's not wrong to help yourself.

Give me 2 seconds, the code.

- Apart from that I heard about patches, are they efficient ? - No, I 'd advise against.

I was thinking about you last night, I have a new product...

Babyphytose. A super product. Natural and herbal based.

- Do you know it ? - Yes but don't you have something more...

- But it is natural. - And what about the medicine for stepdad ?

Stabilocardyl? No, no. That would be a disfavor.

You'll feel slowed down, drowsy...

Me this morning for example I took som... I...I advise against.

No it's just to allow me to pass the first steps. Because I decided to completely stop.

Even after next Sunday.

Well yeah you realize I don't need it to get to 2 p.m Sunday.

- 1:38 p.m Sunday. - 1:38 p.m yes.

- Hats off ! That's great... - What about you on the other hand ?

Listen, to be honest I am struggling to remember that I even was a smoker.

Hats off...

Listen, Stabilocardyl ok but I don't have anymore. Maybe I have some left here...

No, all gone !

Well listen try the Babyphytose, you'll see. Here, I'll give you two packs.

You will see, it's no problem.

Do you need anything else ? A small deodorant?

No, no I will only take one. All good. How much do I owe you ?

Are you kidding ? That wouldn't be mutual help. I'm adding it for accounting, you know Murielle...

Ok thank you.

- Bye Bernard ! - Have a good Sunday.

Alas you have left us, for good.

And you sinner soul is still burning today,

In hellfire, because you sinned, Didier !

Because you resumed smoking, and you are smoking again !

And you like it, cheater !

You like smoking huh ?

You like it, cheater ! CHEATER !!

I'm not going to give you back the exams. There is no point !

Everyone got 0/20, they're all a bunch of wipers !

That will teach you that in life, nothing is acquired in advance.

So now everybody take your stuff out ! And you Aziz kindly put out your cigarette please !

- What does kindly mean sir ? - It's the opposite of that ! Ok ?

So ? You don't want to take your stuff out ?

Interrogation now ! To the board ! I said no caps in the classroom !

Let's go, to the board randomly...

Camel ! No ! Not Kamel... Mouloud !

Unless it was suppositories that gave me diarrhea.

But I didn't use the throne this morning yet...

- Nobody cares oldie. - So I'm congested, I'm bloated. It's very unpleasant !

- What can we do about it ? - Fart a bit, you'll feel better.

- Excuse me ? - You... Can you repeat please ? I don't get it.

I'm bloated... I can't put a skirt on, it's terri...

Wait ! I'll see what I can do for you Madame de Luynes. I'll see...

Are you talking to me ?! Are you talking to me ?

Am, stram, gram, Pic et pic et colégram.

Are you talking to me ?!

Here's something that can't do you wrong Madame de Luynes.

Please take care of Madame de Luynes!

Why did he give me condoms ?

What do you want me to go to these stupid cocktails for ?

You could get interested a bit in what I'm doing too.

- Ouch fuck ! - Did you hurt yourself ?

I'm tired of making efforts, always efforts. Middle school, students, exams...

It hurts... Are you going to sleep like that ?

No, no. It's said 10-20 minutes but I think I'll do one hour to have an effect.

For an hour you can't smoke or you'll prick yourself is that it ?

No not in the bedroom !

You must have added one too many on the nerve that makes one stupid !

Hey ! What are you doing here ?

I was just peeing a bit.

I didn't restart smoking...

I didn't !

Excuse me, do you have a light please ? Do you have a light ?

Sorry, I'm your neighbor.

Since I can't... smoke in the bedroom.

No, I didn't touch anything, I didn't do anything ! No, I didn't restart smoking !

I didn't smoke again !

It's not me !

15 Days.

- Happy Mother's day Mom ! - Oh, how nice !

Happy Mother's day ! Grandma. Is the Valda pastilles vendor there ? Has he arrived ?

- We were waiting for you around noon. - Hello stepdad ! How are you ?

- It's eleven o'clock ? - Yes, we are really early.

That's what I'm telling you for the last hour...

An hour ago, I thought it was eleven but it's no big deal, eleven is ok too.

- That way I'll see you a bit longer for once. - A little aperitif ?

No, I'll rather make myself a coffee.

Can I open the peanuts pack ?

At what time Valda pastilles vendors usually arrive ?

Happy Mother's day Mom.

Happy Mother's day Mom.

Happy Mother's day to all moms.

My dear husband had the good idea of taking care of the flowers yesterday.

As a result we didn't have them this morning.

And to find an open florist in your communist neighborhood,

it's like searching a needle in a haystack.

So we went over to the park and here's the result...

- Happy Mother's day Mom ! - It's not a big deal...

- That's what I told her. It's the thought that counts. - Exactly.

Murielle... Your flowers are beautiful ! And they are perfumed...

No ! We didn't re-fume !

I didn't resume smoking...

Anyway, this week your father made me a beautiful gift...

Really ? What ?

I'm done with cigarettes forever.

Hats off dad !

No kidding...

Let's not waste time, dad. It's almost two !

Your medication... Do you have any more ?

Oh the medication. I took some just for you. Huh... None left.

- Forget it. - I'll get more.

- Happy Mother's day Mom ! - Thanks, that's cute but we'll eat first I'll unpack it later.

Are you crazy ? Unpack it right now.

Yes, we are waiting !

Oh what a nice day ! Why so much happiness ?

But it's Mother's day ! And it's my favorite day.

And my mommy even though your nose is all white...

And that mine is chocolate...

She will always be the most beautiful of moms !

Bravo, Elodie !

Thanks, it was perfect ! Very beautiful sweetie !

Bravo Elodie, I can tell you your mom didn't write me as nice ones.

Bravo, my daughter ! Very pretty !

Nice Victor Hugo my niece !

By the way, do you know what time it is exactly stepdaddy ?

2 minus 20.

- So that's it we passed it. - By two minutes even !

Congratulations dear Bernard !

- Your behaviour is perfectly immature ! - Don't start it Ms I know it all.

Open your eyes ! You are not showing affection to Elodie !

No affection really ? Who is getting her at violin classes ? And who is taking her to the swimming pool ? You maybe ?

I say, let's smoke one to celebrate it and then it's over. We forget about it.

One little cigarette ? I have nothing against it...

Stepdaddy ? Do you have a cigarette or two left, to celebrate it ?

No sorry, I threw everything away.

- What about cigarillos, them too ? - Cigarillos too, everything.

- Victoria. - Baby ?

Since you know better how to take care of a child, then go ahead, make one since you can do it...

- The thing is you will never ! - Oh really ? Why is that ?

- Because you're selfish ! Egoistical ! - Selfish ?! I must be dreaming !

- Honey, give me a cigarette. - I don't have any left it was the last one, you should have let me buy more !

- Change your tone ! - 15 days without smoking, we have the right to celebrate it...

I am selfish ? You are ! You never share, always incapable to give.

You were always the one dad and mom gave everything to.

- Victoria, I don't like it when you say silly things like that... - Isn't that true, mom ?

I know where there is an open tobacco store.

We'll be right back !

Did you look at yourself ?

What a delirium ! I must be hallucinating.

- Was I paid useless journalist studies like you ? - Useless ?!

Sweetie, the keys !

You never were interested in what I was doing.

- And I didn't ask for money to mom and dad ! - What ?

Yeah cause your sucker husband never could have bought that pharmacy !

- The sucker just wants the keys. - I repaid everything to dad I don't owe anything anymore.

Girls, enough !

Girls, enough !

- Mom, she's saying that but she was the one spoiled ! - Give me an example among others !

We don't care !

And the muslin dress Mrs Marie sewn for us both ?

- Oh no not that again ?! - She always lended it to Dominique Baud but never to me !

Never to me ! That you see.. I will never forget !

Don't worry I'll offer you Pocahontas' gear... The keys !

What about the horse riding club ? For a year, she was allowed to ride horses at the club in Garches, but not me !

That's bad !

She even made herself be called Mrs Rami because Ramirez didn't sound chic enough !

Aren't you ashamed in front of dad ?

- Conchita, the Mercedes keys! Conchita ! - Mum didn't have me go to ballet classes unlike you.

- It's different, you weren't gifted for ballet ! - And for horse riding you weren't gifted either !

And to think that you put plasticine in my hair, on my communion's day...

My baby comforter... Who torn apart my baby comforter ?

My darlings...

- Now serious things... - We want to buy cigarettes !

Leave us alone with your shit ! Disappear, get lost !

- Go get help somewhere else. - No but... - No ! Don't touch me!

Do you really think I didn't catch you picking from my packs ?

- CHEATER ! - NO !

And that other one, smoking hidden in the toilets... Pathetic pussy !

- Who told you that ? Sweetie, who told you that ? - My husband is just a pussy...

- No, don't say that. - It is true.

- Sweetie, who told you that ?! - You are a pussy !

Elodie, come here !

Hurry up ! Grandpa feels faint.

I don't know what is going on with him.

Dad ! Are you ok ?

I'm ok, just a slight vertigo. Don't worry about it.

- Let's go to the table. - We'll have to inform the doctor about it.

I know... Everyone needs a good doctor.

- Dad's medicine ? - I'm out because...

We'll go get some. The keys...

Here are your keys. And hurry up !

Why did I hit rock bottom ? Why did I touch the abyss ?

Before answering this question, you have to accept.

Your keyword is : acceptation. That goes for you too.

If you want to get rid of the problem, you have to go through acceptation of the problem.

Yes, I was a smoker. Yes, I was mediocre.

Yes, I was pathetic, I was a rag, a less than nothing.

But I want to recover, because I want to do better.

Release you positive energies,

To get rid of this yoke of self guilt which jams the cogs of your initiatory path.

Before working on group sensory activities,

I'll ask you to welcome three new participants.

- Your name ? - Jean Paul.

Bravo Jean-Paul, you've made the right choice. With us, you will forget the slave you are.

And you ?

- Bernard. - Didier.

- I didn't hear it. - Didier.

Bravo guys !

Don't forget the three promises : Never ! I swear ! Am I going to do it again !

Let's start with this week's blamatory encouragement.

Tobacco is taboo, we will all get through !

Tobacco is taboo, we will all get through !

Your turn, Gilbert.

I'd say that I successfully managed to integrate...

and to canalize my pulsions.

Globally flawless. Ranking 0.2 on the desire scale.

I wish you all to have the same success as Gilbert.

Your turn, Andre.

I think that I've managed to avoid some basic pitfalls : coffee, aperitif.

That's all. Things went well.

- Is that all ? - That's all...

I got offered a cigarette, I refused it.

- Did you refuse it ? - Yea.

One puff... I had one damn puff...

Tobacco is taboo, we will all get through !

Tobacco is taboo, we will all get through !

Good !

Good !

Not good !

Good !

Not good !

Good !

Good !

Not good ! The guy is smoking in the rearview mirror...

Next one ! We don't like cigarette, so we break its head !

Get out of my way !

Not good !

Good !

Not good !

- Good ! ...with moderation !

Pay attention to the exercice.

- Would you like a cigarette ? - No, not good !

Not good !

- Would you like a cigarette? - No, not good !

Not good !

You need to melt that down !

No everything's alright.

Big efforts yes.

Have a good day.

Not good !

Not good !

Not good !

Good !

Good...

Good...

Welcome ! Are you here to forget about the cigarette ?

- Didier, Bernard. - Philippe, Maurice.

...Maurice, Philippe !

Not good !

Good !

Not good !

Good !

Not good !

- Repeat ! - No I am not shit !

- Who smokes cigarettes ? - People with regrets !

- Are you a pussy ? - No I'm not a pussy !

- I didn't hear you ! - I am not a pussy !

- Smokes, who takes smokes ? - It's for jokes !

- Are you a joke ? - No I'm not a joke !

Before leaving, don't forget...

Tobacco is taboo, we will all get through !

78 Days !

Honey, are you home ?

"Tobacco is taboo, we will all get through !"

Are you ok honey ? Did you see ? We are working hard with Didier ! We will make it!

Is there a problem ?

And there you go.

Tobacco is taboo, we will all get through !

It wasn't me.

Good evening.

Go ahead.

- A cigarette ? - No thanks !

Good evening !

Did you see those earrings ? I went to the store you told me about and I bought the same ones.

Cédric, the photographer friend. My sister Murielle and her husband.

Good evening. Good evening. I'm leaving...

Nice man... Where's Bernard ?

I'm hungry !

No, certainly not ! I stopped.

- Where are you teaching ? At the Sorbonne ? - No, at Jean-Jaures !

I'm kidding. I teach in a suburb middle school, Jean Jaures, for 9th grades.

Ah the suburbs ? That's interesting. It's topical. Aren't students too hateful ?

- Excuse me ? - Aren't students too hateful ?

- Thank you. - No I would like a glass of water.

At the buffet, sir.

You should have taken one, it's free !

- Look ! It's Bernard Lhermitte ! (hermit crab) - Thierry Lhermitte...

- Come with me ! - I'm going to the buffet.

Honey, here I am!

Let me introduce my boyfriend, Bernard... Oh Franck !

How are you doing ?

Marie-France Chazaud, my press officer.

Delicious ! How do you call it in French ?

- Petits fours. - Petits fours ? Alright.

Michael is my name. And you ?

I am Michael. And you?

I'm I hate your face.

I hate your face...

I hate your face... That's cool. Ok I hate your face, have a nice evening.

Can I have a glass of water please ? It's for my skinny quick.

Oh Bernard ! I managed to get an autograph of Bernard Lhermitte !

Yeah, in a crab basket it's normal. There's another crustacean over there, Franck Tullio if you want.

Seriously ? Victoria told me he's formidable ! I'm going there.

No, no alcohol, thanks. Wait, I'll just have that.

No alcohol at all, I just need a spoon for... Thanks!

Excuse me !

- Are you not a producer? - No I'm not.

I'm a pharmacist, in the 16th district...

I'll get some of that whiskey.

- This is my sister Murielle. - Hello.

- I'm delighted. - She doesn't dare ask but I think she would like your autograph.

Well be warned, it's 100 Francs for an autograph.

Well no, it's free... If she lets me make love with her sister.

I have something way better than your napkin. Look !

- Isn't it nice ? - It is.

- I've been looking for you for two hours. - I was looking for you too.

- You got alcohol ? - Yes, champagne.

Please can I get a glass ?

It's incredible how much you look alike !

It's true, moreover we have the same earrings, the same lipstick.

I'm going to break that big jerk's face !

- What are you saying ? - I'm going to break that little jerk's face.

Who is that ? I don't know him. If I can be of service to you...

A little shit who has no diploma but earns 50x more than you.

Excuse me.

- What is your name? - Murielle. - To Murielle...

Who's more beautiful than Isabelle !

- Cigarette, not good ! - Hi everyone.

Franck, here's my boyfriend.

Bernard. Just a small teacher in a deprived suburb.

Franck, small presenter of "Say it with the heart"

I don't frankly want to say it with my heart, you see ?

Bernard is not watching TV.

No let's say that I choose my TV programs, it's different I don't watch whatever !

I agree with you, out of all programs mine is the one I watch the least.

That's no excuse, nobody likes to eat its own shit.

- Enough, are you crazy ? - What ? I'm speaking to him.

Let me introduce myself, Didier Pharmacenberg, film producer.

What did you produce ?

"Fuck me through all 6 holes", and "Come get whipped dirty bitch".

On that topic, I have a part for you.

Am I not allowed to get an autograph ? Is it because I'm less sexy than my wife ?

- Stop it, you are miserable ! Did you drink ? - No, I didn't drink ! I've seen everything !

Leave my friend alone ! Leave us alone ! That's ok, we're leaving.

I don't care anyway I'm leaving, I don't want to see you anymore !

You can get screwed by all the fags in the show business but I don't want to see you again !

- Didier, come here. - Don't come near me, bitch !

I'll tell you... Cigarette, not good !

Not good I said ! That between us it's over, do you understand ?

- A cigarette ? - No ! Not good !

Tobacco is taboo, we will all get through !

- Watch out ! - Don't worry !

Here it is.

Good evening. Excuse us, but we got into trouble. We were caught short.

Would you mind hosting us for the night please ?

Bravo ! We will bring them all down ! All together and against all !

Tobacco is taboo, we will all get through !

Thanks, that's very nice of you.

That's rule number one : you need me, I'm there for you.

Baltazar, lie down ! Sit down, you look exhausted.

- We are sorry. - Don't be.

No fuss. Sit down.

Well, actually it's not a bad thing. This way we'll go all together to the competition tomorrow.

The competition ?

The apnea competition, at the Saint-Maur swimming pool.

I ended up 3rd place last year. 1 minute 26 seconds ! That's something...

Bravo ! What about sleeping ?

Don't worry, we will figure out something.

What I wish you to win is this one.

Golden lungs ! Years 84-94 !

10 years of seniority. But for this one, you'll have to hang on tight...

Bravo, but how do to...

You have to be motivated, like with everything.

Me, it's thanks to my daughter.

She was only twelve years old, She got sick...

So I decided that if she heals, I'll stop smoking.

- So ? - She healed.

Later she left, she got married... She lives somewhere else.

But where...?

In Rocheville, ten kilometers from Valenciennes.

- Where are we going to sleep? - Do I bore you with my stories ?

Not at all !

You'll sleep in the bedroom, my wife's and mine's.

Oh no we don't want to bother you.

You won't bother her, she's dead.

It will be five years in October.

She was an amazing woman, but she was smoking too much...

It's when she stopped living that she stopped smoking.

- Did the cigarettes kill her ? - Yes and no.

She was ran over by a SEITA truck. (Tobacco and matches industrial exploitation company)

So tomorrow I'll wake you up to go to the competition.

- Yes, with pleasure. - Not too early. Around 6 a.m.

How are you going to do ?

Do not worry about me I will sleep on the sofa. I'm used to it.

- Thank you, Gilbert. Good night. - Good Night. It's there.

Don't mind the clutter.

I wonder if that was a good idea...

I'm sick of life, sick of women, I'm sick of everything.

Me too.

She was looking at him smiling stupidly. As if he was a god...

- Did Murielle ever do that to you before ? - Murielle doesn't smile.

- I swear that's the worst that could happen to a man... - Listen let's try to rest, I think that we need it.

Mummy...

No, I can't sleep here. And this one is pissing me off !

Who knows maybe I should have married a girl like Murielle.

I think that you didn't sober up yet.

- Why do that to me ? Does she like making me suffer ? - What are you thinking, Murielle is also making me suffer.

- What's going on? - No, nothing...

Let's try to rest, it's already not easy.

That one is bothering me too.

I can't sleep here ! Anywhere, but not here !

You are right... Let's go to sleep at my place. It's my home, what am I doing here?

Wait we're not going to your home are you crazy ? No way we are going at this time.

Imagine Victoria seeing your face...

We'll see tomorrow, well rested. Lay down it's my fault, I'm sorry.

It's not so bad here right ?

It's not me ! It's her !

Are you smoking bitch ? Take that ! Aren't you ashamed ?

Not good !

I got you, right ? What a joker !

Tobacco is taboo, we will all get through !

I'm telling you it's not a good idea ! I don't want to wake her up...

She might not even be alone.

Now you will row, miserable !

Why is she doing this to me ? Why in my home ?

- I don't know, maybe it's for fun... - How funny...

You know me, I will take the matter into my own hands. Like that !

I don't understand anything it's unreadable... His handwriting is that of a pig !

What ? No ! Come back in an hour please, because I'm completely overwhelmed, thanks.

- What do you want, sir ? - To get an explanation.

- We don't sell that here. - Wait, can we discuss at least ?

- What's written here ? - Inosate 2000, three times a day.

Inosate 2000, three times a day. Didn't I tell you ?

Murielle... I think that we have reached the stage where we need to talk.

- I have no time to talk, I've got a store to run. - It's not a store, it's a pharmacy.

You're right. Some bags here have nothing to do at a pharmacy.

- Pick them up, take them away and I don't want to see you again ! - What's that ?

Your stuff. Your underpants, your socks, sweaters and let's not forget your porn magazines !

- What is written here ? - Where ? - Here !

- Rhinophactyl, in drops... - Rhinophactyl in drops !

Sweetie, are you going crazy ? Did you think about Elodie ?

- My sweetie, my kitty... - No more kitty, no more sweetie !

And you are the crazy one my poor friend ! Also tell your loony brother in law

to forget about my sister... You have made enough damage already !

- Isn't Mr Didier here ? - You shut up !

You're mad ! Get out ! Or I'll call the police !

Don't bother we don't need you ! Nor your nymphomaniac sister !

You know full well where I am. You'll come back to beg me on your knees within a week !

- You are nothing without me ! - Get lost ! It's mine here !

Grocer ! Raptor ! Upstart !

And for that grandma it's cyanide, three tablespoons !

Raptor !

Yeah right ! Get lost, it's mine here !

Little jerk !

143 Days

I will prepare him a letter, that will tear his arms off and wreck his face !

He'll be less proud afterwards.

- What's wrong with you ? You don't look good. - I had a strange dream.

Don't stay here pal, it's not your place. You will have a break down ! Go back home !

- I don't know, think of your daughter. - That snitch is not my daughter !

I didn't even choose her, it's the other one. It's always her...

I'd love to remodel her face, but not in Vermeer's style. With Picasso's style !

With a little parcel bomb !

And boom ! The eye here, the jaw there.

Damn ! The pizza of 5 p.m... And it is at the opposite side of Paris !

Look at you... You won't make it I'm telling you !

Did you have a good look at yourself ? Mind your own business.

- Do you want a slice ? - A small one.

You'll see. I will show you who I am !

I'm going to show you how I do things !

She'll be the one to break down first. She'll come back to lick my boots, believe me !

Forget about. You've got it all wrong. She won't call I'm telling you !

Anyway I don't care, I don't need her nor anybody !

Really ? Weren't you the one coming up with the awesome idea

to launch a home drug delivery service ?

Yes. Pharmaco 30. Your aspirin at home within half an hour, isn't that awesome ?

Awesome ! You should try Vroom Vroom Doliprane. Maybe that would work ! After all you've tried...

Yeah you really don't know me apparently.

I'm not the type to send parcel bombs to pathetic TV presenters.

I am capable to beg to make it !

At the traffic light ? Like homeless people ? You disappoint me.

- I'm not homeless yet. - Of course since you live in my home.

- So that's what bothers you... - Take this !

Big hearted leftist !

- You should learn to share before giving solidarity lessons. - That's all I'm doing, sharing. Your incapable problems.

Wouldn't you think that I'd rather share the money of the businessman instead ?

In the end you are no better than Murielle ! Let me tell you, you're an extreme right leftist ! A bourgeois.

You're so bourgeois that you fell under the boulevard cuckold cliche...

You're a cuckold pal !

Listen pal I no longer have problems with Victoria, I'm over it. You still have a problem.

- I'm not a cuckold. - There is no chance !

Cause Murielle is not your wife, but your mother. You're not even her son, you're her dog. Mother's doggy !

- I'm a mother's doggy ?! - Yes you are !

- It's Victoria ! - Crap it's Murielle !

Looks like your daughter.

- Good day. - Is dad here ?

No, no. He's working a lot nowadays...

And will he be back soon ?

No, I don't think so. Is that all ?

I have to go now otherwise mom will scold me.

- What is that ? - A gift for dad.

I'm sure her mother sent her. I'm sure !

I should have asked her about Victoria. How stupid...

Cigarettes...

- What is written ? "Dad, start smoking again and come back."

There's a spelling mistake, it's plural.

Maybe it was written for us both.

Maybe she's right.

She's smart. She's my daughter.

One ?

Let's try one and see the effect. If it doesn't feel right, we'll stop.

Ok for one then. No more. We'll share it, agreed ?

Agreed.

So ?

Wait, I don't feel anything.

Be careful you'll pass the line...

No worries, I'll smoke two lines at once. Go ahead !

- So ? - I don't know.

- So ? Is it good ? - I don't know.

- Leave me ! - You're going to pass the line. It's my turn.

My turn.

- It's coming, I'm feeling something ! - Me too...

- What's wrong ? - My shirt...

- What about it ? - The patches !

- I am sorry ! - Are you kidding me ?!

- Are you okay ? - Yes, I'll be alright. I have tachycardia.

- Alright I'm calling SOS Doctors. - No, it's too expensive. Help me !

I am sorry.

- Bend down ! Wait give me a second ! - I am sorry.

- The code... - Don't push it, stay here.

I know where it is.

- Press "enter". - Done.

- Now you see "code key ?" - That's correct.

Now enter "PUPUCE".

P-U-P-U-C-E. Sweetie.

P-U-C-E. Here you go.

- It's written "No good code". - No, that's impossible !

- No, just enter "PUPUCE". - It's written "No good code" !

- Calm down ! - I'm not crazy I've entered it thousands of times...

- That's her nickname. Damn ! - What ?

- I'm sure she's the one who changed it. - Don't you have another nickname ?

No big deal, take the Climardina. There ! Left ! Climardina, C-L.

Higher ! Lower !

- The pink box ! - I'm taking them all !

Take all !

Freeze !

Stay like that ! Do not move !

We will explain.

Do not move !

So it's because you had a tachycardia crisis, that you both went to the pharmacy.

- Yes. To my pharmacy. - Sure, to your pharmacy.

Then you tried to use the code, which usually is "PUPUCE".

But this time it didn't work, so you grabed your medicine.

Plus 10 amphetamine packs, 15 pain reliever packs,

and other morphine derivatives.

- Wait, that's normal... - We explained to you 1000 times...

Yes that's normal... Of course.

It is also perfectly normal that you don't have your papers with you.

We'll see that tomorrow morning.

A good night without your drugs will normally untie your tongue.

- It's his pharmacy, call his home you'll see ! - No, nobody calls home.

If I don't look like I belong at this position that's good news believe me.

Nobody has ever seen a pharmacist smoking with an anti tobacco patch.

Nobody has ever seen a policeman who's good at typing on the machine...

It doesn't change the fact that he's a policeman.

- I didn't say anything, he did. - We'll get along well.

Oh really don't tell me you fall into the cliché of the susceptible policeman ?

- You don't have the right to do this ! - Do you want my left too ?

Leave him alone, does he really look like a junkie ?

He looks more like Pavarotti than Iggy Pop !

- Do you want one too ? - Alright alright !

- That's enough, it's us... - It is us what ?

- It's us. - It is us what ?!

We went looking for amphetamines.

- What ? - Amphetamines.

- Here you go ! - Because we were addicted.

- Was it the first time ? - No, no...

Last week already, we robbed the drug store in Saint-Germain.

And since the guy was defending himself, We assaulted him...

There was also a lady, she came to buy earplugs.

And we raped her.

- No, we hit her first. - Yes, that's right we hit her.

So she fell and hit her head, and died. That's when we raped her.

Still we were careful, we used condoms...

You see what a condom is right ?

It's to protect. Unlike the police.

A cigarette please !

- You ! Do you have a cigarette ? - What's going on ?

Are we in a dream ?

No, this is not a dream. It's a nightmare...

Hi, it's nice... That's my brother in law.

15,8... Not glorious.

- Really ? - Did you look at yourself ?

It's not surprising, buddy. Get dressed.

How hot !

Especially for corpulent people like us.

Kiss Murielle on my behalf and little Ebonie too.

Elodie.

- About my brother in law... - I can take a look at him too if you want.

Bernard, you...

Franck Tullio The Big Love ?

He scared us a bit, but he's better now, it's over.

- Can I talk to him ? - Yes, of course but gently not to tire him.

Try to be optimistic, that will make him feel better.

Prepare the infusion, I'll be right away.

- But is he okay ? - Yes, he will be fine.

Thank you.

Bernard ? It's Didier.

You look in top shape.

I talked to the nurse, they said they were confident.

You will pull through.

I hope so !

- I'm here ! - Crap you scared me !

- You look great. - Do you think so ?

- You are alive... Can I sit down ? - Yes, but gently.

Look I brought you the cookies you like.

And these too. Also I have a gift for you.

- Do you want to unpack it? - No I can't.

- Wait, I'll unpack it for you. - I wanted to go far away, you know.

I know...

Very far away, Thailand or Tibet.

I wrote a letter to Victoria.

Really loaded where I completely empty my chest.

And when I went to put the sheet in the envelope...

It was not the correct envelope. Then boom...

Yes, it was the letter for that television jerk.

- It's stupid... - You don't say.

The most important is that you are alive. Look, you didn't have this one.

The Nungesser and Coli plane.

You know the two guys who got lost and were never found.

Now it's different. You're on the right path. Keep going !

- Forget it. - No you can't give up.

You just need a bit of rest.

A good break to see things clearly and get back into shape.

I've also been thinking a bit.

I think that it's best for us not to stay together...

Understand me, I would like to relive before.

Do you understand me ?

Alright. Could you open the drawer ?

- Yes, why ? - I can't.

Do me this last favor. Open the drawer please.

Quick !

- What does this mean ? Are you crazy ?! - I can't deal with it anymore I want this shit to end.

I can't do that ! You take things too much to heart. We'll see each other again !

No not the syringe, the package next to it !

- Damn ! You're stupid... - The little nurse gave it to me.

- I have got a hit with her. - No wait that's over. Get that into your head. Forget it.

Well I'm not forcing you to smoke. Give me one.

- You shouldn't. - Come on ! We'll have to die from something anyway.

Light it up. Come on !

You are right, we are complicating our lives for bullshit...

What are we risking ? Cancer ? Let him come ! I ask nothing better.

A cigarette...

A last one, please !

224 Days

It's ringing.

- Hello ? - Murielle? It's Didier.

Hi, how are you ? You are finally giving news.

It's not that I didn't try...

It's true that we sliped a little bit recently

but with Bernard we took some kick ass decisions.

- Are you alone ? - Yes I'm alone.

- And Elodie ? - Elodie is at her ballet course.

- And you how are you ? - Yes I'm very good.

Will I be able to see her soon ?

- No, not right now. - You tell me.

- What about Victoria ? - Yes, she is...

I received a letter from her. She is doing very well.

She's in the Seychelles, having tons of fun.

She's not so good, misses you a lot.

I wanted to tell you that we'll come back, And we have a nice surprise for you..

A nice surprise ? Another one ?

- You won't recognize us, shortly. - Well that's not a surprise...

We don't recognize you for months.

- See you later then. - Sweetie...

Goodbye.

- What did she say ? - They are doing good and can't wait to see us.

Great !

It is good to take things in your own hands. So intensive care...

For you I recommend intensive care if you want to achieve tangible results.

Besides what about grub ? ...well food ?

You can eat anything. You know I'm very gourmand and frankly I'm not depriving myself.

You can eat meat, vegetables, fish...

- Pâté ? - No. No you'd better avoid delicatessen.

The most important is to have a varied and balanced diet.

At noon, animal protein. And in the evening dairy products.

Oh you see ? The Maroille, the cheese you love ! We are allowed to have it !

No ! No you'd better avoid that.

But you know there are many other formidable products now...

Petit filous, Maigrilous, Yaourtines... ("Healthier stuff")

I see in your record that you have had a dissociated diet.

Yes in fact at one period we ate only pizzas.

And that doesn't work at all. I mean it's not effective.

Here I'll show you the ideal diet diagram.

In red, are sugars and fats, which are only a limited portion of the whole.

So in red is what you should avoid.

And here's your diet's diagram.

- That's... - That's not good.

Any questions ?

At what time are the meals served ?

Here it is.

Bon appetit !

No to pain

- Can we have some bread ? - Sorry, it is not intended.

Do you want a little bread ?

I swear you've lost weight. I can see it !

Do you really think so ?

I can tell you it is really obvious.

Here it is.

Bon appetit !

Anyone here ?

Here it is. Bon appetit !

Anyone here ?

Turn around. Are you ready ? Let's go !

Here it is.

That's for n°12...

Excuse me.

Here it is.

- Oh no, I'm done ! I'm done... - Not hungry anymore ? Bravo !

I'm hungry !

No, no !

- Don't be so sad ! - Enjoy life, do like us.

- Aren't you dining tonight ? - No, not tonight !

- Aren't you dining gentlemen ? - No, not tonight !

- Good evening ! - Bon appetit.

- Let's go ? - Yes, go ahead.

No ! Not good...

Good !

I hope that you didn't forget the carbohydrates.

Are you crazy ? Avoid undernourishment, it's very bad !

One for you, one for me.

But of course never forget not to mix lipids with proteins.

No way ! And also beware of the calorific input of saccharose... Here !

A measured gesture ! Let's keep the sense of measure.

Yes cause moderation is the keystone of thinness, of course...

On the other hand, we can allow ourselves some green from time to time, but keep it light handed !

- Otherwise, indigestion could be waiting for you. - Wait, there's too much ! There !

I'm wondering, dear Bernarde. How much cooking time for all of this ?

- Well dear Didiere, about ten minutes. - Then how to keep our viewers patient ?

Well I think that we'll savor this magnificent cake, that is just waiting for that, since earlier.

Especially before bacon, it seemed logical.

Very little, friend ! Very little. Eat at regular times. Very important.

And you have to chew well ! Because mastication regulates...

- The secretion of gastric juices ! - Absolutely !

- Could I get a bit of bread, dear friend ? - Oh, a bit of bread is not part of your diet dear friend...

But a lot, yes !

Don't mix lipids and carbohydrates !

Oh what was I thinking ?! Carbohydrates on one side, lipids on the other.

Cheers.

A little dairy products, Bernard ? It's good for your health.

Just a very little bit, we have to be vigilant... Just like that no more ! There !

We have to be vigilant with cheeses. Thank you.

"Long live the diet."

- And here's some sweetness... - Oh how beautiful !

I dedicate this frugal meal,

to the one without who my life would just be adrift suffering.

- It is named : Will ! - Pretty ! My dear brother in law...

Long live the Will !

I take this opportunity, to offer you this modest cigarette.

- After you, brother in law. - Thank you.

There you are !

It's for you.

And now, I will ask you to recollect one last time on Vincente's tomb.

Who left us.

But who lives forever in our hearts.

Please God, in your almighty mercy

welcome Vincente beside you.

Lord give him all your love, this love as an eternal filter,

a joy filter that we all aspire to...

- Listen, sounds like he's talking about cigarette. - Shush !

You whose flame extinguished, and to whom we wish peace to your ashes.

- So, you see ? - Yea.

Are we going over there ?

No I can't, I don't have the courage.

Daddy ?

I'm fat, I'm ugly...

Thanks, that's nice.

One year later...

(Plus 28 days)

Victoria, it's them !

We were getting worried, You're late.

Patience. Grass with time becomes milk. Here is Rukmini.

She honored me by choosing me.

- Hey Victoria, so it is for soon then ? - I hope so !

She is asking you to excuse us, because we bursted our tire the road.

No that means that your house is flooded with love.

That is very sweet. Thank you. Come on, I'll introduce you to the others.

Yes and take good care of her. We'll be back in a minute.

- So how are you ? - Good !

Look isn't that all fantastic ? It's real paradise here.

I don't know what I would need to be happier.

Did you try yoga ?

The blue sky, the birds singing, that is worth all the yoga in the world.

- The truth is in all of us, you are right. - That is true. And you ? How are you ?

I'm simply in harmony. I give relaxation courses with Rukmini.

Last week, Elodie came to spend the week end at home. She became magnificent !

- Do you have news from Murielle ? - Yes. Wait ! Here I brought you something, you won't believe it.

- What is it ? - Here take a look.

- What is that ? "Stop smoking with herbs"

- No way... - I am so above that now.

- And you how is it going about... - What ?

- About... - Oh completely fine !

-Why, are you ... -No, what you don't have. Why, are you..?

No, not at all. That all seems so far away now... As if I had been someone else, you see ?

Somebody who lived in error...

Yes, in error.

It's always the beast who tires the master.

At my age, it's no cake walk anymore.

A small one ?

- No, no I stopped. - No, we don't smoke.

Ok then I'll smoke one.

Well I have to go to Saint-Vallier, it will take me two hours.

- Is it far away ? - About 20 kilometers.

- Are you going by foot ? - Yes of course !

Hey, bye Parisians, I'm going ! See you later !

Twenty ki...

I'd like to know... How many do you smoke a day ?

- Two to three packs. - No no I'm not taking it.

- Isn't it a bit tiring ? Aren't you out of breath ? - Never.

I'm doing 30 kilometers every day, I am not out of breath.

- Shouldn't you think of stopping ? - What for ? I'm all good, I'm not out of breath.

- Do you want one ? - No.

- So you're smoking walking ? - Yes walking.

Sometimes I stop but not often...

Not good !

Not good !

Good !

Based on spanish subtitles by Luis Castillo. Subtitles made by Xanvast.