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- ♪ ♪
- _
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[ALARM BLARING]
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[SPEAKING SPANISH] _
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_
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_
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_
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_
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_
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[METALLIC CRASH]
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[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
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♪ ♪
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- [GROWLING]
- [BOTH YELP]
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_
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_
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_
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[ALARM BLARING]
17
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Gideon, what is it?
18
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I didn't sound the alarm.
19
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It was Mr. Rory, I believe.
20
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[GROANS] Hey.
21
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Sorry.
22
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Oh, you're not used to
my nighttime makeup.
23
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I mean, no makeup.
24
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Sorry to ruin the illusion.
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No, you, um...
26
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you look just like her.
27
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Oh. You mean the other Zari.
28
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Yeah.
29
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I could change my hair if it would help.
30
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Help what?
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Whatever's happening down there.
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[MISCHIEVOUS MUSIC]
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- It's not my fault.
- Mm.
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- I was sleeping.
- Yeah.
35
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It's natural.
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Whatever you say, Steel.
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[UPBEAT HIP-HOP PLAYING]
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Move your butts, people.
Need you on the bridge.
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All right, all right. Just
gotta finish my last set.
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♪ ♪
41
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Is he doing all right, Gideon?
42
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Mr. Tarazi asked me to formulate
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an ingestible gelatinous
cannaboid compound
44
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to help him sleep.
45
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You make marijuana candy?
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- ♪ ♪
- _
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Sometimes I wonder if they're ever
48
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gonna let me back into Texas.
49
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[SIGHS]
50
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Rory, what time is it?
51
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Technically, time doesn't
exist in the Temporal Zone.
52
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Yes, thank you, Gideon.
I just mean it's early.
53
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I got a hit on the alien
that kidnapped Sara.
54
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What? Why the hell didn't you wake me?
55
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Well, remember that sketch I drew?
56
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The, uh, squid face?
57
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Oh, yeah, I thought
it was chicken wings.
58
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Well, Gideon helped me find this photo
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buried amongst some old KGB files.
60
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Report about a crashed space alien.
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It was redacted until Putin
was ousted from power in 2044.
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"Redacted"? "Ousted"?
63
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Where are these words coming from, Rory?
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I know words.
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Look, uh, thanks for cleaning me up.
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- [GRUNTS]
- Oh, thank you.
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Oh, you even smell nice.
68
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Gang, great news.
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Rory got a lead on the
alien that took Sara.
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Hmm. Shocking, honestly.
71
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Hmm.
72
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The pod we're looking for was picked up
73
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by military forces at 0600 hours.
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It's en route as we speak.
75
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The plan, rendezvous with it here.
76
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Any questions?
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En route. Rendezvous.
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Est-ce que tu parles français, Rory?
79
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What?
80
00:03:16,229 --> 00:03:17,859
Hey, this is great, Mick,
81
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but shouldn't Gideon do the coordinates?
82
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Already set, numb nuts.
83
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Wait, shouldn't we stop by John's,
84
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pick up him and Astra?
85
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[ALL GRUNT]
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[ROUSING MUSIC]
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Let's move.
88
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It's a two-click hike
through thick jungle.
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Right, I love the intensity, Rory,
90
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but just a little heads-up
would be nice.
91
00:03:38,046 --> 00:03:41,044
Okay, hold up, I thought
this was a time machine.
92
00:03:41,049 --> 00:03:42,546
Why not bring us back an hour earlier?
93
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That way, y'all can
change out of your pj's.
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Oh, girl, we don't ask those questions.
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[EXCITING MUSIC]
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♪ ♪
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- Synced and corrected by Firefly -
- www.addic7ed.com -
98
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Damn it. We forgot Behrad.
99
00:04:04,306 --> 00:04:06,237
Spooner, what did I tell you
about the Legends' buddy system?
100
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That hippie burnout wouldn't
want no part of this action.
101
00:04:12,214 --> 00:04:13,844
Okay, Rory, what's the plan?
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Cover me.
103
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With what? I'm wearing slippers.
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00:04:17,286 --> 00:04:20,417
[SUSPENSEFUL BRASSY MUSIC]
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♪ ♪
106
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[SHOUTING]
107
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Commie son of a bitch tried to shoot me!
108
00:04:33,268 --> 00:04:35,365
Think it was a bad idea
letting Rory run point?
109
00:04:35,370 --> 00:04:37,834
Eh, we've had messier missions.
110
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[SCREAMS]
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[HORNS HONK]
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[SHOUTING]
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Let's go.
114
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[SCREAMS]
115
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[ENGINE TURNS OVER]
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I'm in! Let's go!
117
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[GRUNTS]
118
00:05:12,274 --> 00:05:14,705
Why is everyone shooting?
119
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Oh, they started it!
120
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Time to check on the loot.
121
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We're not bank robbers, Rory.
122
00:05:20,619 --> 00:05:22,646
Well, you wouldn't guess
it by our use of guns.
123
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Yeah, well, right to bear arms,
124
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that is my Second Amendment privilege.
125
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The right to tell you guns suck,
126
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that's my First.
127
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Okay, we're not gonna shoot the alien.
128
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we're gonna talk to it.
129
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Oh, what if it doesn't wanna talk?
130
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Then we roast it.
131
00:05:33,228 --> 00:05:34,829
Okay, just open the crate, Rory.
132
00:05:37,099 --> 00:05:38,295
Huh.
133
00:05:38,300 --> 00:05:40,430
This alien pod's different
than the last one.
134
00:05:40,435 --> 00:05:43,166
That's because it's not an alien pod.
135
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It's a warhead from a Soviet
136
00:05:45,340 --> 00:05:47,938
SS-4 medium-range ballistic missile.
137
00:05:47,943 --> 00:05:49,573
Uh, Rory, where are we?
138
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Uh, some island in the Caribbean.
139
00:05:52,614 --> 00:05:54,978
Wouldn't happen to be
Cuba, would it, Mick?
140
00:05:54,983 --> 00:05:56,947
Please tell me you
didn't take us to 1962.
141
00:05:56,952 --> 00:05:58,648
Why? What happened?
142
00:05:58,653 --> 00:06:00,283
- Oh.
- Oh.
143
00:06:00,288 --> 00:06:01,918
Rory, you just dropped us in the middle
144
00:06:01,923 --> 00:06:03,086
of the Cuban Missile Crisis.
145
00:06:03,091 --> 00:06:04,821
And helped us steal a nuke.
146
00:06:04,826 --> 00:06:06,190
- So?
- So?!
147
00:06:06,195 --> 00:06:08,389
This is the moment in history
when Americans and Soviets
148
00:06:08,393 --> 00:06:09,594
came to the brink of nuclear war.
149
00:06:09,598 --> 00:06:10,961
If we so much as sneeze...
150
00:06:10,966 --> 00:06:11,995
okay, nobody move.
151
00:06:12,000 --> 00:06:13,096
It could be Armageddon.
152
00:06:13,101 --> 00:06:14,564
Okay, but we can still find
153
00:06:14,569 --> 00:06:16,967
the alien that'll help us find Sara.
154
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You remembered to cloak the ship
155
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before we left, right?
156
00:06:21,540 --> 00:06:23,440
_
157
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[PHONE RINGS]
158
00:06:27,015 --> 00:06:29,613
Yes.
159
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I see.
160
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Let him in.
161
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Mr. President.
162
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If this is about the, uh, missiles
163
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down in Cuba, I've already been briefed.
164
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I'm afraid that the nukes
are the least of our problems.
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These photographs were taken
166
00:06:41,997 --> 00:06:44,928
on the latest U-2 pass over Cuba.
167
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What the hell is that?
168
00:06:46,768 --> 00:06:48,099
Mr. President, it would appear
169
00:06:48,103 --> 00:06:49,800
that the Soviets have a new bomber.
170
00:06:49,805 --> 00:06:52,440
[TENSE MUSIC]
171
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Gideon, what's the latest in D.C.?
172
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JFK just called for an emergency meeting
173
00:06:58,418 --> 00:06:59,748
of his top advisors.
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Damn it, that's what I get
for letting Rory run point
175
00:07:01,890 --> 00:07:02,891
in the middle of the Cold War.
176
00:07:02,895 --> 00:07:04,225
- It's all good.
- Is it?
177
00:07:04,230 --> 00:07:06,671
JFK delivered a masterclass in diplomacy
178
00:07:06,676 --> 00:07:08,306
during the Cuban Missile Crisis.
179
00:07:08,311 --> 00:07:09,374
How do I know this?
180
00:07:09,379 --> 00:07:11,309
Because I wrote my
doctoral thesis on it.
181
00:07:11,314 --> 00:07:12,714
You wanna go to Washington.
182
00:07:12,719 --> 00:07:14,117
[AS JFK] With your permission, Captain,
183
00:07:14,121 --> 00:07:15,122
I would love to throw the ball...
184
00:07:15,126 --> 00:07:16,756
No. No. Lose the accent.
185
00:07:16,761 --> 00:07:18,337
- Way to wear that suit, though.
- Thank you.
186
00:07:18,341 --> 00:07:20,818
Aw. Thanks, girl.
187
00:07:20,823 --> 00:07:22,453
What happened to your totem?
188
00:07:22,458 --> 00:07:24,088
Oh, old one clashed.
189
00:07:24,093 --> 00:07:25,923
I take it you wanna go
to Washington too.
190
00:07:25,928 --> 00:07:27,491
Yes, I spent a lot of time on this.
191
00:07:27,496 --> 00:07:29,594
Ah, morning, team. What'd I miss?
192
00:07:29,599 --> 00:07:30,829
Nate and Zari are gonna make sure
193
00:07:30,833 --> 00:07:32,595
that JFK doesn't start World War III.
194
00:07:32,600 --> 00:07:33,698
The rest of us are chasing down
195
00:07:33,702 --> 00:07:35,152
a displaced space alien in Cuba.
196
00:07:35,157 --> 00:07:37,057
- No big deal.
- Cool. I'll just be...
197
00:07:37,062 --> 00:07:38,792
Ah, you will just be with me. Let's go.
198
00:07:38,797 --> 00:07:40,827
- Come on.
- [GROANING]
199
00:07:40,832 --> 00:07:43,864
[WHISPERING] We're gonna
go see the Kennedys!
200
00:07:43,869 --> 00:07:46,567
Good news, Captain. We found the pod.
201
00:07:46,572 --> 00:07:48,779
It's currently on its way
to Fidel Castro's
202
00:07:48,784 --> 00:07:50,047
not-so-secret bunker.
203
00:07:50,052 --> 00:07:52,183
Wow, you found the alien
using your powers?
204
00:07:52,188 --> 00:07:54,185
Nah. CB radio.
205
00:07:54,190 --> 00:07:56,420
[SOLDIER SPEAKING SPANISH]
206
00:07:56,425 --> 00:07:57,555
De nada, Capitan.
207
00:07:57,560 --> 00:07:59,624
Mm-hmm. Right.
208
00:07:59,629 --> 00:08:03,260
Easiest way in is here.
I'm guessing four guards.
209
00:08:03,265 --> 00:08:06,197
- We just blow the place to smi...
- Okay, I'll take it from here.
210
00:08:06,202 --> 00:08:08,533
They're not gonna let you just
walk through the front door.
211
00:08:08,537 --> 00:08:10,401
That's exactly what they're gonna do.
212
00:08:10,406 --> 00:08:12,169
Let's go. Behrad, come with me.
213
00:08:12,174 --> 00:08:14,572
Why do you keep grabbing
me? Look, Captain.
214
00:08:14,577 --> 00:08:16,641
Authoritarian leaders, secret bunkers,
215
00:08:16,646 --> 00:08:18,576
nuclear missiles, I'm just not
216
00:08:18,581 --> 00:08:19,981
feeling the energy of this mission.
217
00:08:19,986 --> 00:08:21,647
Too bad, because I need
your energy, okay?
218
00:08:21,652 --> 00:08:23,382
Can't afford any hotheads
starting a nuclear war.
219
00:08:23,386 --> 00:08:24,782
Hey, I'm just trying to help you
220
00:08:24,787 --> 00:08:26,217
find your girlfriend.
221
00:08:26,222 --> 00:08:28,016
You know what you can help
me do is get the missile
222
00:08:28,020 --> 00:08:29,421
back to the people
that we stole it from.
223
00:08:29,425 --> 00:08:30,785
Wait, the Russians?
224
00:08:30,790 --> 00:08:32,390
That defeats the purpose of stealing.
225
00:08:32,395 --> 00:08:34,025
Our job is to protect history.
226
00:08:34,030 --> 00:08:35,664
Remember that next time.
227
00:08:38,134 --> 00:08:41,532
[SOLDIERS SHOUTING]
228
00:08:41,537 --> 00:08:44,001
Oye, oye. Where do you
think you're going?
229
00:08:44,006 --> 00:08:45,803
Sorry, brother, we just
got turned around.
230
00:08:45,808 --> 00:08:48,005
Is there another entrance
we can maybe try?
231
00:08:48,010 --> 00:08:50,875
- Who is your companion?
- Oh, uh, she's...
232
00:08:50,880 --> 00:08:53,244
[IN RUSSIAN ACCENT] I am
Dr. Yevgania Shostenko.
233
00:08:53,249 --> 00:08:54,812
At ease, comrade.
234
00:08:54,817 --> 00:08:56,280
Who are you here to see?
235
00:08:56,285 --> 00:08:59,016
Um, that's classified?
236
00:08:59,021 --> 00:09:00,818
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
237
00:09:00,823 --> 00:09:02,486
It's cool. We can come back later.
238
00:09:02,491 --> 00:09:05,222
Oh, no, please. We enter now. It's...
239
00:09:05,227 --> 00:09:07,425
What kind of doctor are you?
240
00:09:07,430 --> 00:09:09,761
Em...
241
00:09:09,766 --> 00:09:11,896
[CLEARS THROAT]
242
00:09:11,901 --> 00:09:16,106
The kind who specializes in
extraterrestrial creatures.
243
00:09:18,607 --> 00:09:20,705
Why didn't you say so?
244
00:09:20,710 --> 00:09:22,477
Follow me.
245
00:09:28,284 --> 00:09:31,148
We're supposed to give the
nuke to the Russkies, right?
246
00:09:31,153 --> 00:09:33,684
Well, those ain't Russkies.
247
00:09:33,689 --> 00:09:36,053
Uh, permission to shoot our way
248
00:09:36,058 --> 00:09:38,089
out of a sticky situation, Captain.
249
00:09:38,094 --> 00:09:39,690
No, absolutely not.
250
00:09:39,695 --> 00:09:41,526
The last thing we need is
an international incident.
251
00:09:41,530 --> 00:09:43,461
- Do you copy?
- Uh-huh.
252
00:09:43,466 --> 00:09:45,096
Was that a "yes" grunt or a "no"?
253
00:09:45,101 --> 00:09:46,264
[GRUNTS]
254
00:09:46,269 --> 00:09:48,032
That's what I thought.
255
00:09:48,037 --> 00:09:50,401
Just let me do the talking, okay?
256
00:09:50,406 --> 00:09:54,611
♪ ♪
257
00:10:00,249 --> 00:10:02,646
Sorry, we, uh, found
this rig in the jungle.
258
00:10:02,650 --> 00:10:04,616
We're just trying to get it
back to our Soviet comrades.
259
00:10:04,620 --> 00:10:06,217
It is a stolen missile!
260
00:10:06,222 --> 00:10:08,453
Yeah, we'd hate for a nuke
to fall into the wrong hands.
261
00:10:08,457 --> 00:10:10,755
Which is why I must take it
to El Comandante immediately.
262
00:10:10,760 --> 00:10:13,457
- El who?
- Fidel freakin' Castro.
263
00:10:13,462 --> 00:10:16,327
Sir, wouldn't the Soviets prefer
that we return it to them?
264
00:10:16,332 --> 00:10:17,428
You don't understand.
265
00:10:17,433 --> 00:10:19,631
The North Americans have
started a mutant invasion.
266
00:10:19,636 --> 00:10:21,203
You will follow us.
267
00:10:22,872 --> 00:10:26,237
Did you not hear my order?
268
00:10:26,242 --> 00:10:27,471
Lead the way, comrade.
269
00:10:27,476 --> 00:10:31,481
♪ ♪
270
00:10:32,081 --> 00:10:34,545
How does this help history, again?
271
00:10:34,550 --> 00:10:36,247
Captain's orders.
272
00:10:36,252 --> 00:10:38,549
Well, I liked it better
when you were in charge.
273
00:10:38,554 --> 00:10:41,519
[ENGINE TURNS OVER]
274
00:10:41,524 --> 00:10:42,620
I can't believe we're here.
275
00:10:42,625 --> 00:10:45,189
Okay, let's focus. What's the plan?
276
00:10:45,194 --> 00:10:48,090
Uh, I'm gonna try to get
into JFK's inner circle
277
00:10:48,095 --> 00:10:51,295
by pretending to be an
international relations expert.
278
00:10:51,300 --> 00:10:53,864
This way, I can keep his
finger off the red button.
279
00:10:53,869 --> 00:10:55,599
Okay, what about me?
280
00:10:55,604 --> 00:10:57,401
Um...
281
00:10:57,406 --> 00:10:58,936
you could pretend to be my...
282
00:10:58,941 --> 00:11:00,204
Secretary.
283
00:11:00,209 --> 00:11:01,505
Bingo.
284
00:11:01,510 --> 00:11:02,773
- [WITH SOUTHERN ACCENT]
- Yes?
285
00:11:02,778 --> 00:11:04,141
The boys could use a fresh pot.
286
00:11:04,146 --> 00:11:07,645
Oh, right away, sir. [CHUCKLES]
287
00:11:07,650 --> 00:11:09,513
Who's the egghead?
288
00:11:09,518 --> 00:11:11,282
Do I know you?
289
00:11:11,287 --> 00:11:13,117
[CLEARS THROAT, CHUCKLES]
290
00:11:13,122 --> 00:11:16,220
Uh, I... I doubt it.
291
00:11:16,225 --> 00:11:18,155
Dr. Nate Heywood.
292
00:11:18,160 --> 00:11:21,725
Harvard? Class of 1940?
293
00:11:21,730 --> 00:11:24,762
Yes. Go, Crimson.
294
00:11:24,767 --> 00:11:26,197
Well, you can always use
295
00:11:26,202 --> 00:11:28,432
another Harvard man in the huddle.
296
00:11:28,437 --> 00:11:31,035
Isn't that right there, Bobby?
297
00:11:31,040 --> 00:11:33,437
Class of '46. Nice to meet you.
298
00:11:33,442 --> 00:11:35,005
Bobby. Uh, Nate Heywood.
299
00:11:35,010 --> 00:11:36,810
Let me introduce you to the brain trust.
300
00:11:36,815 --> 00:11:40,077
We have Secretary of Defense,
Robert McNamara, class of '39.
301
00:11:40,082 --> 00:11:42,046
- Nice to meet you.
- Secretary of Treasury.
302
00:11:42,051 --> 00:11:44,982
- Douglas Dillon, class of '31.
- Pleasure.
303
00:11:44,987 --> 00:11:46,684
Now that the reunion's over,
304
00:11:46,689 --> 00:11:48,686
perhaps we can get back to business.
305
00:11:48,691 --> 00:11:50,754
[TENSE MUSIC]
306
00:11:50,759 --> 00:11:52,857
General Kilgore here wants me
307
00:11:52,862 --> 00:11:55,626
to upgrade our nuclear
readiness to DEFCON 3.
308
00:11:55,631 --> 00:11:57,228
This photograph shows that the Soviets
309
00:11:57,233 --> 00:11:59,363
have some sort of space age bomber
310
00:11:59,368 --> 00:12:02,399
parked off the coast of Florida.
311
00:12:02,404 --> 00:12:04,135
[COUGHS]
312
00:12:04,140 --> 00:12:05,703
[WHISPERING] Damn it, Mick.
313
00:12:05,708 --> 00:12:07,605
What do you think, Mr. Heywood?
314
00:12:07,610 --> 00:12:10,274
Me? I, uh... I mean, a spaceship.
315
00:12:10,279 --> 00:12:13,144
It's probably made of
plastic and plywood.
316
00:12:13,149 --> 00:12:15,779
What did you say your area
of expertise was, again?
317
00:12:15,784 --> 00:12:19,989
♪ ♪
318
00:12:24,325 --> 00:12:25,456
You know, Mr. President...
319
00:12:25,461 --> 00:12:28,159
Call me Jack.
320
00:12:28,164 --> 00:12:31,862
Wow. Jack.
321
00:12:31,867 --> 00:12:35,733
This reminds me of the
1942 Princeton game.
322
00:12:35,738 --> 00:12:37,101
Refresh my memory, son,
323
00:12:37,106 --> 00:12:38,969
I was too busy fighting a World War.
324
00:12:38,974 --> 00:12:41,438
Thank you for your service.
325
00:12:41,443 --> 00:12:43,340
It was a 0-0 tie.
326
00:12:43,345 --> 00:12:45,042
A defensive stalemate.
327
00:12:45,047 --> 00:12:46,677
Neither team put the ball in the air,
328
00:12:46,682 --> 00:12:48,680
and neither got close enough
to kick a field goal.
329
00:12:48,684 --> 00:12:50,748
What a terrible game. Both sides lost.
330
00:12:50,753 --> 00:12:52,816
But... when we're talking
331
00:12:52,821 --> 00:12:55,119
about lobbing nukes at one another,
332
00:12:55,124 --> 00:12:58,455
that is the only way both sides win.
333
00:12:58,460 --> 00:13:02,059
♪ ♪
334
00:13:02,064 --> 00:13:04,995
He's over there. In here.
Okay. That's good.
335
00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:07,231
Ah, just in time, comarada doctora.
336
00:13:07,236 --> 00:13:08,999
The anesthesia is working,
337
00:13:09,004 --> 00:13:10,935
and we are ready to
begin the vivisection.
338
00:13:10,940 --> 00:13:12,503
[IN NORMAL VOICE] Uh, the what?
339
00:13:12,508 --> 00:13:14,939
The vivisection.
340
00:13:14,944 --> 00:13:17,374
[IN RUSSIAN ACCENT] Oh, oh, yes.
341
00:13:17,379 --> 00:13:20,077
But first, can I have shot of vodka?
342
00:13:20,082 --> 00:13:22,313
As they say in my country,
it steadies the hands.
343
00:13:22,318 --> 00:13:23,881
No! There is no time.
344
00:13:23,886 --> 00:13:25,382
The comandante wants to know
345
00:13:25,387 --> 00:13:27,818
how we can best kill
these mutant invaders.
346
00:13:27,823 --> 00:13:29,887
Oh... okay.
347
00:13:29,892 --> 00:13:34,397
Then, uh, let the vivisection begin.
348
00:13:35,998 --> 00:13:38,696
- Hey, uh, team powwow.
- Mm-hmm.
349
00:13:38,701 --> 00:13:40,698
You're gonna, uh, kill the only alien
350
00:13:40,703 --> 00:13:42,364
- who can lead us to Sara?
- No! Of course not!
351
00:13:42,368 --> 00:13:44,369
I'm just stalling so I can
come up with another plan.
352
00:13:44,373 --> 00:13:46,604
Okay.
353
00:13:46,609 --> 00:13:48,038
Okay!
354
00:13:48,043 --> 00:13:49,808
I probably should have
mentioned this before,
355
00:13:49,812 --> 00:13:52,309
but I do not like blood.
356
00:13:52,314 --> 00:13:54,111
Relax, everyone! [CHUCKLES]
357
00:13:54,116 --> 00:13:56,080
I am just going to make a...
358
00:13:56,085 --> 00:13:59,890
a tiny, little incision, yes?
359
00:14:00,422 --> 00:14:04,021
♪ ♪
360
00:14:04,026 --> 00:14:05,956
[CHUCKLES] We are good.
361
00:14:05,961 --> 00:14:09,159
It's just a little, tiny bit of blood.
362
00:14:09,164 --> 00:14:10,198
[GAGS]
363
00:14:12,268 --> 00:14:15,599
Uh, okay, it's okay. Everybody, relax.
364
00:14:15,604 --> 00:14:18,702
It's, uh, perfectly normal.
365
00:14:18,707 --> 00:14:21,943
[AIR HISSING]
366
00:14:23,312 --> 00:14:24,375
[GAGS]
367
00:14:24,380 --> 00:14:27,982
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
368
00:14:33,022 --> 00:14:36,854
[LATIN GUITAR MUSIC]
369
00:14:36,859 --> 00:14:39,823
This area is restricted. Come back here!
370
00:14:39,828 --> 00:14:41,725
Let me see...
371
00:14:41,730 --> 00:14:44,595
I didn't realize it was you, sir.
372
00:14:44,600 --> 00:14:45,663
No worries.
373
00:14:45,668 --> 00:14:46,964
Let me show you to the bunker.
374
00:14:46,969 --> 00:14:48,766
Fidel will be so glad you're here.
375
00:14:48,771 --> 00:14:52,770
♪ ♪
376
00:14:52,775 --> 00:14:55,673
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
377
00:14:55,678 --> 00:14:57,775
Comandante, look who's here!
378
00:14:57,780 --> 00:14:59,843
It's your old friend Che!
379
00:14:59,848 --> 00:15:02,579
Wait, you think I'm Che Guevara?
380
00:15:02,584 --> 00:15:03,914
I never said I was Che.
381
00:15:03,919 --> 00:15:06,283
Then who are you?
382
00:15:06,288 --> 00:15:07,785
I am...
383
00:15:07,790 --> 00:15:11,322
Che's cousin, Jay?
384
00:15:11,327 --> 00:15:15,532
♪ ♪
385
00:15:25,441 --> 00:15:27,971
[JAUNTY MUSIC]
386
00:15:27,976 --> 00:15:30,040
Jay Guevara.
387
00:15:30,045 --> 00:15:33,544
Just as your cousin and
I fought Batista's men,
388
00:15:33,549 --> 00:15:37,614
you and I will fight
the CIA's mutant army.
389
00:15:37,619 --> 00:15:39,450
Wait, you mean the alien?
390
00:15:39,455 --> 00:15:40,618
Oh, sent to kill me, no doubt.
391
00:15:40,622 --> 00:15:42,186
It's like the Bay of Pigs
392
00:15:42,191 --> 00:15:43,887
all over again, except this time,
393
00:15:43,892 --> 00:15:46,194
we've been invaded by squids from space.
394
00:15:49,865 --> 00:15:53,334
Sir, I have an Ambassador
Popov on the phone.
395
00:15:59,375 --> 00:16:01,505
Ambassador, what a pleasant...
396
00:16:01,510 --> 00:16:03,040
Attack?
397
00:16:03,045 --> 00:16:04,241
What attack?
398
00:16:04,246 --> 00:16:06,410
[TENSE MUSIC]
399
00:16:06,415 --> 00:16:09,113
You lost a nuclear missile?
400
00:16:09,118 --> 00:16:11,215
What do you mean, "stolen"?
401
00:16:11,220 --> 00:16:13,317
It sounds like you've
been drinking, so, uh,
402
00:16:13,322 --> 00:16:15,923
call me when you've sobered up.
403
00:16:18,160 --> 00:16:19,456
What did he say?
404
00:16:19,461 --> 00:16:20,991
You'll never believe it.
405
00:16:20,996 --> 00:16:22,860
The Russian ambassador just accused us
406
00:16:22,865 --> 00:16:24,215
of attacking Cuba with a...
407
00:16:24,220 --> 00:16:25,850
Steel man.
408
00:16:25,855 --> 00:16:30,060
♪ ♪
409
00:16:33,809 --> 00:16:34,905
Is that...
410
00:16:34,910 --> 00:16:36,978
At least it's a good photo.
411
00:16:39,005 --> 00:16:40,268
Steel man?
412
00:16:40,273 --> 00:16:42,469
This is even faker than the space ship.
413
00:16:42,474 --> 00:16:44,705
This is clearly a super yoked guy
414
00:16:44,710 --> 00:16:45,940
in silver body paint.
415
00:16:45,945 --> 00:16:47,274
Actually, I have reason
416
00:16:47,279 --> 00:16:48,676
to believe that it's real.
417
00:16:48,681 --> 00:16:51,845
DARPA initiated a program
to develop a serum
418
00:16:51,850 --> 00:16:54,381
that could turn a soldier's
flesh into metal.
419
00:16:54,386 --> 00:16:55,650
It would appear that one of their
420
00:16:55,654 --> 00:16:57,384
test subjects has gone rogue.
421
00:16:57,389 --> 00:16:59,620
Why didn't anyone tell me
about such a program?
422
00:16:59,625 --> 00:17:01,685
Eisenhower didn't think
that you Harvard boys
423
00:17:01,690 --> 00:17:03,390
had the stones to deploy such a weapon,
424
00:17:03,395 --> 00:17:04,458
but the good news is,
425
00:17:04,463 --> 00:17:06,927
the weapon has been deployed for you.
426
00:17:06,932 --> 00:17:09,096
But sir, if the Russkies think
427
00:17:09,101 --> 00:17:11,465
that we sent a steel soldier
to sabotage their missiles,
428
00:17:11,470 --> 00:17:13,334
they might do something
stupid and launch them.
429
00:17:13,339 --> 00:17:15,336
[TENSE MUSIC]
430
00:17:15,341 --> 00:17:16,970
So what do you suggest I do?
431
00:17:16,975 --> 00:17:19,339
We launch a preemptive
strike against Cuba.
432
00:17:19,344 --> 00:17:22,142
We take their little island
out of the equation.
433
00:17:22,147 --> 00:17:24,375
Mr. President, this reminds me
434
00:17:24,380 --> 00:17:26,480
of the '39 Yale game. We...
435
00:17:26,485 --> 00:17:29,083
You are the quarterback here, Jack.
436
00:17:29,088 --> 00:17:30,818
You're the one calling the shots.
437
00:17:30,823 --> 00:17:35,028
♪ ♪
438
00:17:40,165 --> 00:17:42,400
Take us to DEFCON 3, General.
439
00:17:46,405 --> 00:17:48,269
[WHISPERING] Yay, one less DEFCON.
440
00:17:48,274 --> 00:17:49,970
That means we're one step closer
441
00:17:49,975 --> 00:17:51,605
to nuclear war.
442
00:17:51,610 --> 00:17:53,907
Well, that makes no sense.
443
00:17:53,912 --> 00:17:57,148
[MEDICAL STAFF LAUGHING]
444
00:17:58,350 --> 00:17:59,747
Can I tell you a secret?
445
00:17:59,752 --> 00:18:00,852
Sí, sí.
446
00:18:02,788 --> 00:18:05,219
I'm not really Russian.
447
00:18:05,224 --> 00:18:09,223
- Are you North American spy?
- Worse!
448
00:18:09,228 --> 00:18:10,924
I'm a clone from the future.
449
00:18:10,929 --> 00:18:13,264
I snuck onto the base
to steal the alien!
450
00:18:14,667 --> 00:18:17,502
I don't even know why I'm
still talking like this!
451
00:18:19,605 --> 00:18:21,435
Get comfy.
452
00:18:21,440 --> 00:18:23,704
I'll be right back.
453
00:18:23,709 --> 00:18:26,974
Do you know the CIA had a secret plot
454
00:18:26,979 --> 00:18:30,944
to try to put a bomb in
one of my cigars once?
455
00:18:30,949 --> 00:18:33,547
[LAUGHS] Not cool.
456
00:18:33,552 --> 00:18:37,257
But now I have a secret
weapon of my own:
457
00:18:37,923 --> 00:18:42,050
a nuclear missile.
458
00:18:42,055 --> 00:18:46,860
I'm so done being a pawn
in this game of chess
459
00:18:46,865 --> 00:18:49,163
between the Americans and the Soviets.
460
00:18:49,168 --> 00:18:51,398
If Cuba is attacked by squids,
461
00:18:51,403 --> 00:18:55,102
I will wipe Washington
off the face off the Earth.
462
00:18:55,107 --> 00:18:59,006
Ooh, candy. Mmm.
463
00:18:59,011 --> 00:19:02,009
[JAUNTY MUSIC]
464
00:19:02,014 --> 00:19:03,510
♪ ♪
465
00:19:03,515 --> 00:19:05,312
I've never seen this brand before.
466
00:19:05,317 --> 00:19:06,747
They're not for everyone.
467
00:19:06,752 --> 00:19:10,957
♪ ♪
468
00:19:14,226 --> 00:19:15,723
Mmm.
469
00:19:15,728 --> 00:19:18,459
Strap in, dude.
470
00:19:18,464 --> 00:19:21,295
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
471
00:19:21,300 --> 00:19:24,298
[ALL SNORING]
472
00:19:24,303 --> 00:19:28,508
♪ ♪
473
00:19:40,285 --> 00:19:43,117
[GRUNTING]
474
00:19:43,122 --> 00:19:45,085
[SOLDIER CHUCKLES]
475
00:19:45,090 --> 00:19:46,484
Fidel will decorate you two
476
00:19:46,489 --> 00:19:48,489
as heroes of the republic for this.
477
00:19:48,494 --> 00:19:50,391
Great, great, I'll be sure
478
00:19:50,396 --> 00:19:52,526
to put that one in my trophy case.
479
00:19:52,531 --> 00:19:55,262
[SHARP RINGING]
480
00:19:55,267 --> 00:19:57,398
Headache, huh? That time of the month?
481
00:19:57,403 --> 00:19:59,066
Very funny.
482
00:19:59,071 --> 00:20:00,734
No, I'm being serious.
483
00:20:00,739 --> 00:20:03,537
My daughter, she has
the same... [GRUNTS]
484
00:20:03,542 --> 00:20:05,906
Oh, that's very sweet of you then.
485
00:20:05,911 --> 00:20:09,076
But it's not my period. It's the alien.
486
00:20:09,081 --> 00:20:11,578
[ALIEN SNARLS]
487
00:20:11,583 --> 00:20:13,680
I think my powers are getting stronger.
488
00:20:13,685 --> 00:20:14,885
It's not just feelings.
489
00:20:14,890 --> 00:20:16,583
It's almost like I can hear it talking.
490
00:20:16,588 --> 00:20:18,152
What's it saying?
491
00:20:18,157 --> 00:20:19,720
[ALIEN SNARLS]
492
00:20:19,725 --> 00:20:22,260
Don't wake up. Please, not now.
493
00:20:23,395 --> 00:20:25,795
Oh, that it is pissed.
494
00:20:25,800 --> 00:20:27,063
We gotta find Ava.
495
00:20:27,068 --> 00:20:31,273
♪ ♪
496
00:20:32,838 --> 00:20:35,873
[ALIEN ROARING]
497
00:20:39,745 --> 00:20:42,309
I don't wanna hurt you, all right?
498
00:20:42,314 --> 00:20:44,545
I just need to know where
you took my girlfriend.
499
00:20:44,550 --> 00:20:46,313
[ALIEN SNARLS]
500
00:20:46,318 --> 00:20:48,315
[GRUNTING]
501
00:20:48,320 --> 00:20:52,390
[ALIEN SNARLING]
502
00:20:54,359 --> 00:20:58,225
[ALIEN ROARING]
503
00:20:58,230 --> 00:20:59,897
Let's get outta here.
504
00:21:04,837 --> 00:21:07,568
If I can force the Soviets out of Cuba,
505
00:21:07,573 --> 00:21:11,271
then all the missiles will be mine.
506
00:21:11,276 --> 00:21:14,408
Would you mind if I played
you a song, Comandante?
507
00:21:14,413 --> 00:21:16,810
I would have you killed
508
00:21:16,815 --> 00:21:20,885
if you didn't play me
a song, Jay Guevara.
509
00:21:22,254 --> 00:21:25,490
[BOTH LAUGHING]
510
00:21:35,200 --> 00:21:37,731
[GUITAR CHORDS PLAY]
511
00:21:37,736 --> 00:21:40,934
[CAT STEVENS' "PEACE TRAIN"]
512
00:21:40,939 --> 00:21:43,937
[MELLOW MUSIC]
513
00:21:43,942 --> 00:21:48,147
♪ ♪
514
00:21:49,748 --> 00:21:52,846
♪ Well, I've been smiling lately ♪
515
00:21:52,851 --> 00:21:55,916
♪ Dreamin' about the world as one ♪
516
00:21:55,921 --> 00:21:59,353
♪ And I believe it could be ♪
517
00:21:59,358 --> 00:22:01,955
♪ Someday, it's going to come ♪
518
00:22:01,960 --> 00:22:05,392
♪ Oh, peace train sounding louder ♪
519
00:22:05,397 --> 00:22:08,495
♪ Glide on the peace train ♪
520
00:22:08,500 --> 00:22:11,598
♪ Ooh, ah, ee, ah, ooh, ah ♪
521
00:22:11,603 --> 00:22:14,234
♪ Come on the peace train ♪
522
00:22:14,239 --> 00:22:17,571
- ♪ Oh, peace train holy roller ♪
- _
523
00:22:17,576 --> 00:22:20,641
♪ Everyone jump upon the peace train ♪
524
00:22:20,646 --> 00:22:23,810
♪ Ooh, ah, ee, ah, ooh, ah ♪
525
00:22:23,815 --> 00:22:28,020
♪ Come on the peace train ♪
526
00:22:29,054 --> 00:22:31,351
♪ ♪
527
00:22:31,356 --> 00:22:34,688
♪ Ooh, ah, ee, ah, ooh, ah ♪
528
00:22:34,693 --> 00:22:38,898
♪ Come on the peace train ♪
529
00:22:42,901 --> 00:22:47,106
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
530
00:22:49,908 --> 00:22:53,473
[LAUGHS] Oh, I must call Kennedy.
531
00:22:53,478 --> 00:22:54,478
At once.
532
00:22:54,483 --> 00:22:55,843
He and I are brothers,
533
00:22:55,848 --> 00:22:58,779
just like... just like
you and I are brothers.
534
00:22:58,784 --> 00:23:01,582
- Yes!
- We are all humans
535
00:23:01,587 --> 00:23:04,585
placed on this one, fragile planet.
536
00:23:04,590 --> 00:23:07,955
And the only way forward is...
537
00:23:07,960 --> 00:23:09,890
love!
538
00:23:09,895 --> 00:23:10,991
[LAUGHS]
539
00:23:10,996 --> 00:23:13,093
[HOPEFUL MUSIC]
540
00:23:13,098 --> 00:23:16,430
[ALIEN ROARING]
541
00:23:16,435 --> 00:23:19,600
[TENSE MUSIC]
542
00:23:19,605 --> 00:23:20,763
♪ ♪
543
00:23:20,768 --> 00:23:21,768
How about another tune?
544
00:23:21,773 --> 00:23:23,337
I told you that thing
545
00:23:23,342 --> 00:23:24,538
was sent to kill me!
546
00:23:24,543 --> 00:23:27,140
If it's war the Americans want,
547
00:23:27,145 --> 00:23:29,447
it's war they shall have!
548
00:23:31,249 --> 00:23:35,015
Prepare the missile
for launch immediately!
549
00:23:35,020 --> 00:23:37,555
♪ ♪
550
00:23:39,471 --> 00:23:40,471
[GROANS]
551
00:23:40,476 --> 00:23:42,841
Oh, damn it.
552
00:23:42,846 --> 00:23:45,510
We forgot Behrad. Again.
553
00:23:45,515 --> 00:23:47,912
[GROWLS] Sí!
554
00:23:47,917 --> 00:23:49,646
Guys, thought you might like
555
00:23:49,650 --> 00:23:51,347
a little update on El Comandante.
556
00:23:51,352 --> 00:23:53,949
Wait, you're with Fidel Castro?
557
00:23:53,954 --> 00:23:55,951
Yeah, we're super tight,
but the problem is,
558
00:23:55,956 --> 00:23:57,554
he thinks the alien
was sent to kill him.
559
00:23:57,558 --> 00:24:00,056
- Why would he think that?
- Because it tried to kill him.
560
00:24:00,061 --> 00:24:01,457
Report back to me
561
00:24:01,462 --> 00:24:03,592
as soon as the missile has been fueled.
562
00:24:03,597 --> 00:24:05,061
Oh, and also, he's preparing
563
00:24:05,066 --> 00:24:07,730
to launch a nuclear missile at D.C.
564
00:24:07,735 --> 00:24:09,431
Why does Castro have a nuke?
565
00:24:09,436 --> 00:24:11,967
'Cause we gave it to him.
566
00:24:11,972 --> 00:24:13,235
You said "no shooting".
567
00:24:13,240 --> 00:24:15,438
I said... oh, my God.
568
00:24:15,443 --> 00:24:17,106
Oh, my God, this is not happening.
569
00:24:17,111 --> 00:24:19,675
Oh, God. Okay, okay, okay.
570
00:24:19,680 --> 00:24:20,977
Let's just hope that cooler heads
571
00:24:20,981 --> 00:24:22,882
are prevailing in D.C., right?
572
00:24:22,887 --> 00:24:24,887
_
573
00:24:26,720 --> 00:24:28,851
One of our boys flying over Cuba
574
00:24:28,856 --> 00:24:30,920
reports a missile being fueled.
575
00:24:30,925 --> 00:24:32,455
Has Khrushchev lost his mind?
576
00:24:32,460 --> 00:24:34,256
It would appear that
the missile is no longer
577
00:24:34,261 --> 00:24:35,958
in the Soviets' possession, sir.
578
00:24:35,963 --> 00:24:38,461
[LAUGHS] Castro's got it.
579
00:24:38,466 --> 00:24:41,363
History is not supposed
to go down like this.
580
00:24:41,368 --> 00:24:43,933
[TENSE MUSIC]
581
00:24:43,938 --> 00:24:45,401
Say there, Jackie,
582
00:24:45,406 --> 00:24:47,503
how would you and the
kids feel about, uh,
583
00:24:47,508 --> 00:24:49,605
getting out of town for a couple days?
584
00:24:49,610 --> 00:24:53,042
Uh, I think Jack's starting to crack.
585
00:24:53,047 --> 00:24:54,577
Does anyone know if Hyannis Port
586
00:24:54,582 --> 00:24:55,812
is within the blast radius?
587
00:24:55,817 --> 00:24:58,014
There is no time for
this, Mr. President!
588
00:24:58,019 --> 00:25:01,017
If those Russkies catch us
blinking now, we're through!
589
00:25:01,022 --> 00:25:03,319
What if this is just
a big misunderstanding?
590
00:25:03,324 --> 00:25:06,088
What if those Russkies
want us to hit Cuba
591
00:25:06,093 --> 00:25:07,790
so they can hit us?
592
00:25:07,795 --> 00:25:09,863
Those clever Commie bastards!
593
00:25:11,432 --> 00:25:15,297
Our only defense is to attack the USSR!
594
00:25:15,302 --> 00:25:17,500
Jack, that is insane.
595
00:25:17,505 --> 00:25:20,736
♪ ♪
596
00:25:20,741 --> 00:25:22,442
Take us to DEFCON 2.
597
00:25:24,512 --> 00:25:25,845
Yes, sir.
598
00:25:30,851 --> 00:25:33,286
Sir, maybe I can help.
599
00:25:35,913 --> 00:25:38,711
My secretary can type
120 words a minute.
600
00:25:38,716 --> 00:25:42,091
This way, we could get the
bombers in the air faster.
601
00:25:42,096 --> 00:25:44,261
And here I thought you were
just another pretty face.
602
00:25:44,265 --> 00:25:45,528
[CHUCKLES] Oh, gosh.
603
00:25:45,533 --> 00:25:46,962
There you go.
604
00:25:46,967 --> 00:25:49,698
[CLEARS THROAT]
605
00:25:49,703 --> 00:25:51,367
This is a direct order
606
00:25:51,372 --> 00:25:53,449
from the President of the United States
607
00:25:53,454 --> 00:25:55,704
to the entire Strategic Air Command.
608
00:25:55,709 --> 00:25:58,907
I've never seen someone type
with just their thumbs before.
609
00:25:58,912 --> 00:26:01,977
I want every B-52 we
have headed towards
610
00:26:01,982 --> 00:26:04,246
their primary targets
in the Soviet Union.
611
00:26:04,251 --> 00:26:07,816
Should we lose contact due
to a first strike from Cuba,
612
00:26:07,821 --> 00:26:12,021
it should be considered a
direct attack from the USSR.
613
00:26:12,026 --> 00:26:14,356
Full retaliatory measures
must then be taken
614
00:26:14,361 --> 00:26:16,162
without any further orders.
615
00:26:18,799 --> 00:26:20,596
Because we'll all be dead.
616
00:26:20,601 --> 00:26:24,606
♪ ♪
617
00:26:25,172 --> 00:26:27,102
Did you get all that, sweetie?
618
00:26:27,107 --> 00:26:30,443
Oh, every last word, sir. [CHUCKLES]
619
00:26:32,279 --> 00:26:35,310
Guys, why is Fidel
starting World War III?
620
00:26:35,315 --> 00:26:38,113
Because he thinks you guys
are invading Cuba with aliens.
621
00:26:38,118 --> 00:26:40,649
Look, Behrad's trying to cool him down.
622
00:26:40,654 --> 00:26:42,585
Comandante.
623
00:26:42,590 --> 00:26:44,320
You have a phone call.
624
00:26:44,325 --> 00:26:46,155
It's Che Guevara.
625
00:26:46,160 --> 00:26:48,757
Hello, old friend.
626
00:26:48,762 --> 00:26:50,459
Yes, I know.
627
00:26:50,464 --> 00:26:53,629
The news is very scary at the moment.
628
00:26:53,634 --> 00:26:55,431
[LAUGHS]
629
00:26:55,436 --> 00:26:58,534
Yes, I wish you were here too.
630
00:26:58,539 --> 00:27:02,171
But I have a comrade-in-arms
right next to me
631
00:27:02,176 --> 00:27:05,708
who's the next best thing.
632
00:27:05,713 --> 00:27:09,511
[EXCITING MUSIC]
633
00:27:09,516 --> 00:27:13,482
♪ ♪
634
00:27:13,487 --> 00:27:17,692
Tell the CIA to call back
their squid soldiers,
635
00:27:17,697 --> 00:27:20,395
or else I'll launch the nuke!
636
00:27:20,400 --> 00:27:21,924
Oh, my God.
637
00:27:21,929 --> 00:27:25,194
[TENSE MUSIC]
638
00:27:25,199 --> 00:27:27,129
Okay, sounds like you're up, Rory.
639
00:27:27,134 --> 00:27:28,697
Thought I was in the doghouse.
640
00:27:28,702 --> 00:27:30,667
That's when we were trying
to finesse the situation.
641
00:27:30,671 --> 00:27:32,468
Plans change.
642
00:27:32,473 --> 00:27:33,836
You want us to kill the alien?
643
00:27:33,841 --> 00:27:35,470
We don't have a choice, okay?
644
00:27:35,474 --> 00:27:36,839
Spooner, I need you
to help him track it.
645
00:27:36,843 --> 00:27:38,108
We need to deescalate the situation
646
00:27:38,112 --> 00:27:40,009
and get history back on track.
647
00:27:40,014 --> 00:27:42,243
Screw history! You kill the alien,
648
00:27:42,248 --> 00:27:43,559
you kill any chance of finding Sara.
649
00:27:43,563 --> 00:27:45,013
And if we don't kill it, then Castro
650
00:27:45,018 --> 00:27:46,048
starts a nuclear war,
651
00:27:46,053 --> 00:27:47,679
and Sara doesn't have a
home to return to, okay?
652
00:27:47,683 --> 00:27:50,352
I do not have time to game
this out with you, Rory.
653
00:27:50,357 --> 00:27:51,788
We will find another way to find Sara.
654
00:27:51,792 --> 00:27:54,323
Right. Lot of big brains on this ship.
655
00:27:54,328 --> 00:27:56,458
I'll just stick with what I know.
656
00:27:56,463 --> 00:27:57,993
You should never have cleaned me up.
657
00:27:57,998 --> 00:27:59,429
I'm better off doing what I do best:
658
00:27:59,433 --> 00:28:01,063
being a goon, killing people.
659
00:28:01,068 --> 00:28:02,368
Yes.
660
00:28:03,937 --> 00:28:05,371
That's exactly what I need.
661
00:28:09,643 --> 00:28:10,773
Right.
662
00:28:10,778 --> 00:28:12,908
Least I know what I'm here for.
663
00:28:12,913 --> 00:28:17,118
♪ ♪
664
00:28:19,530 --> 00:28:21,325
- Alien's gone.
- [SHARP RINGING]
665
00:28:21,330 --> 00:28:23,593
No, it's still here, I can sense it.
666
00:28:23,598 --> 00:28:24,995
Base is wide open.
667
00:28:25,000 --> 00:28:27,197
Why would the stupid
thing still be here?
668
00:28:27,202 --> 00:28:30,734
It's not stupid, it's
looking for something.
669
00:28:30,739 --> 00:28:32,037
You know, it wasn't right for Ava
670
00:28:32,041 --> 00:28:34,070
to try to pin this all on you.
671
00:28:34,075 --> 00:28:35,405
I don't give a rat's ass.
672
00:28:35,410 --> 00:28:36,873
You were just trying to find Sara.
673
00:28:36,878 --> 00:28:38,876
No, I was pretending
to be somebody I'm not.
674
00:28:38,880 --> 00:28:41,111
So you're just gonna go back
to being a dumb drunk?
675
00:28:41,116 --> 00:28:43,346
- That it?
- Yes.
676
00:28:43,351 --> 00:28:47,017
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
677
00:28:47,022 --> 00:28:49,786
[ALARM BLARING]
678
00:28:49,791 --> 00:28:50,888
Is that...
679
00:28:50,893 --> 00:28:53,862
[ALIEN GROWLING]
680
00:28:55,230 --> 00:28:57,894
What's it want with the nuke?
681
00:28:57,899 --> 00:28:59,463
I think it wants to get away from here.
682
00:28:59,467 --> 00:29:02,703
Like, off this planet.
683
00:29:04,039 --> 00:29:05,902
Wait here.
684
00:29:05,907 --> 00:29:10,112
♪ ♪
685
00:29:12,447 --> 00:29:13,910
Hey, dummy.
686
00:29:13,915 --> 00:29:16,112
[ALIEN SNARLS]
687
00:29:16,117 --> 00:29:19,482
You really think you're gonna
hitch a ride home on that thing?
688
00:29:19,487 --> 00:29:21,151
[ALIEN CHITTERS]
689
00:29:21,156 --> 00:29:22,218
It's a missile!
690
00:29:22,223 --> 00:29:24,054
[ALIEN ROARING]
691
00:29:24,059 --> 00:29:27,123
[GROANING]
692
00:29:27,128 --> 00:29:29,125
Go ahead, eat me.
693
00:29:29,130 --> 00:29:31,595
But you're not gonna get home.
694
00:29:31,600 --> 00:29:32,829
Let him go!
695
00:29:32,834 --> 00:29:34,097
[ALIEN SNARLS]
696
00:29:34,102 --> 00:29:35,832
I know you understand me.
697
00:29:35,837 --> 00:29:38,702
Put him down, or I blow your ass away.
698
00:29:38,707 --> 00:29:41,304
That thing is not a spaceship.
699
00:29:41,309 --> 00:29:44,307
But lucky for you,
700
00:29:44,312 --> 00:29:45,942
I've got my own.
701
00:29:45,947 --> 00:29:48,445
[ALIEN CHITTERING]
702
00:29:48,450 --> 00:29:49,946
Keep talking.
703
00:29:49,951 --> 00:29:51,749
It understands you. It
just doesn't trust you.
704
00:29:51,753 --> 00:29:53,617
You're not as dumb as you look.
705
00:29:53,622 --> 00:29:55,919
[ALIEN CHITTERING]
706
00:29:55,924 --> 00:29:58,355
The alien wants its own
spaceship, not yours.
707
00:29:58,360 --> 00:30:00,357
[ALIEN CHITTERING]
708
00:30:00,362 --> 00:30:01,992
I can take you to it.
709
00:30:01,997 --> 00:30:04,494
[ALIEN SNARLS]
710
00:30:04,499 --> 00:30:06,496
But under one condition.
711
00:30:06,501 --> 00:30:09,599
You help me find my friend.
712
00:30:09,604 --> 00:30:13,741
[ALIEN ROARING]
713
00:30:16,678 --> 00:30:18,808
She's asking you a question.
714
00:30:18,813 --> 00:30:19,943
She?
715
00:30:19,948 --> 00:30:21,692
Yeah, she wants to know
what kind of fuel
716
00:30:21,697 --> 00:30:24,147
the Waverider uses.
717
00:30:24,152 --> 00:30:26,954
Sounds like we got a long
trip to find the captain.
718
00:30:30,191 --> 00:30:31,821
[TENSE MUSIC]
719
00:30:31,826 --> 00:30:33,723
Comandante, what are you doing?
720
00:30:33,728 --> 00:30:35,125
What does it look like I'm doing?
721
00:30:35,130 --> 00:30:36,526
You will start World War III.
722
00:30:36,531 --> 00:30:39,896
You will kill all of us.
723
00:30:39,901 --> 00:30:42,232
[COMPUTER BEEPS]
724
00:30:42,237 --> 00:30:46,442
♪ ♪
725
00:30:49,611 --> 00:30:53,710
[ALARM BLARING]
726
00:30:53,715 --> 00:30:56,584
History will absolve me.
727
00:30:57,585 --> 00:31:00,821
[ROCKET ENGINE ROARING]
728
00:31:07,696 --> 00:31:10,760
- [COMPUTER BEEPING]
- Call for you, General Kilgore.
729
00:31:10,765 --> 00:31:13,863
Thank me? What for?
730
00:31:13,868 --> 00:31:15,932
What three-day weekend?
731
00:31:15,937 --> 00:31:18,902
And who all received that order?
732
00:31:18,907 --> 00:31:22,238
The entire Strategic Air Command?!
733
00:31:22,243 --> 00:31:24,941
Should've known that she
was too good to be true!
734
00:31:24,946 --> 00:31:28,211
This secretary has been
countermanding your orders, sir,
735
00:31:28,216 --> 00:31:30,580
and if Fidel Castro
launches that missile,
736
00:31:30,585 --> 00:31:32,282
you have only got seven minutes
737
00:31:32,287 --> 00:31:34,718
to order a counterstrike
against the Soviet Union.
738
00:31:34,723 --> 00:31:35,723
But I thought you said
739
00:31:35,728 --> 00:31:37,492
all our B-52s are still on the ground.
740
00:31:37,497 --> 00:31:38,855
Well, as much as it pains me
741
00:31:38,860 --> 00:31:40,861
to have to ask the navy for help...
742
00:31:44,699 --> 00:31:46,162
What is that?
743
00:31:46,167 --> 00:31:47,967
That is the nuclear football.
744
00:31:47,972 --> 00:31:50,667
Sir, that allows you to contact
745
00:31:50,672 --> 00:31:53,203
the nuclear submarine captains directly
746
00:31:53,208 --> 00:31:56,272
and order an all-out strike
against the Soviets.
747
00:31:56,277 --> 00:31:59,275
Jack, they don't want a nuclear war
748
00:31:59,280 --> 00:32:00,981
any more than you do.
749
00:32:02,417 --> 00:32:05,953
[TELETYPE CLACKING]
750
00:32:05,958 --> 00:32:08,958
_
751
00:32:09,591 --> 00:32:12,122
There's been a report of
a missile launch from Cuba.
752
00:32:12,127 --> 00:32:13,627
Clock is ticking, sir.
753
00:32:17,932 --> 00:32:20,330
Somebody get me Premier Khrushchev.
754
00:32:20,335 --> 00:32:21,598
This has to be a mistake.
755
00:32:21,603 --> 00:32:23,066
You wanna negotiate?
756
00:32:23,071 --> 00:32:25,935
They were right about you. You are soft.
757
00:32:25,940 --> 00:32:29,672
Well, if you don't have the guts
to stand up to those Commies,
758
00:32:29,677 --> 00:32:31,775
I guess I'll have to do it myself.
759
00:32:31,780 --> 00:32:34,444
- You take one more step...
- Or what?
760
00:32:34,449 --> 00:32:38,654
♪ ♪
761
00:32:40,088 --> 00:32:41,518
The steel man.
762
00:32:41,523 --> 00:32:42,652
You're damn right.
763
00:32:42,657 --> 00:32:44,320
Look, Jack, I didn't go rogue.
764
00:32:44,325 --> 00:32:47,490
I'm here to protect the
world from guys like him.
765
00:32:47,495 --> 00:32:49,559
I'm guessing your accomplice here
766
00:32:49,564 --> 00:32:51,327
ain't quite so bulletproof.
767
00:32:51,332 --> 00:32:52,829
Come on!
768
00:32:52,834 --> 00:32:56,366
♪ ♪
769
00:32:56,371 --> 00:32:58,301
Boys. Huddle up. Huddle up!
770
00:32:58,306 --> 00:33:01,638
Okay, we gotta get that
nuclear football back, boys.
771
00:33:01,643 --> 00:33:03,737
Hey, Bobby, what was that play we ran
772
00:33:03,742 --> 00:33:05,742
against Dartmouth back in '39?
773
00:33:05,747 --> 00:33:08,611
[WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY]
774
00:33:08,616 --> 00:33:10,713
Guess we don't need you anymore.
775
00:33:10,718 --> 00:33:12,215
Rude.
776
00:33:12,220 --> 00:33:14,884
30 seconds for the
safeties to be released.
777
00:33:14,889 --> 00:33:17,287
All we gotta do is to keep that football
778
00:33:17,292 --> 00:33:20,256
out of the hands of those
lily-livered Harvard boys.
779
00:33:20,261 --> 00:33:21,724
Okay, Crimson on three.
780
00:33:21,729 --> 00:33:23,593
- One, two, three.
- ALL: Crimson!
781
00:33:23,598 --> 00:33:26,429
[EXCITING MUSIC]
782
00:33:26,434 --> 00:33:30,639
♪ ♪
783
00:33:36,611 --> 00:33:38,641
Hike!
784
00:33:38,646 --> 00:33:42,178
[ALL GRUNTING]
785
00:33:42,183 --> 00:33:46,388
♪ ♪
786
00:33:53,261 --> 00:33:54,962
This is fun.
787
00:34:02,437 --> 00:34:04,667
- [BONE CRACKS]
- Oh!
788
00:34:04,672 --> 00:34:07,203
[IN SLOW-MOTION] My back!
789
00:34:07,208 --> 00:34:09,205
[GROANS]
790
00:34:09,210 --> 00:34:10,240
No.
791
00:34:10,245 --> 00:34:14,450
♪ ♪
792
00:34:23,358 --> 00:34:27,060
[GRUNTS]
793
00:34:30,231 --> 00:34:31,527
Intercepted!
794
00:34:31,532 --> 00:34:34,697
[TRIUMPHANT MUSIC]
795
00:34:34,702 --> 00:34:35,798
Whoo!
796
00:34:35,803 --> 00:34:39,168
♪ ♪
797
00:34:39,173 --> 00:34:42,138
To tell you the truth, sir,
798
00:34:42,143 --> 00:34:44,077
this football belongs in your hands.
799
00:34:45,346 --> 00:34:48,715
[TELETYPE CLACKING]
800
00:34:50,218 --> 00:34:52,515
The missile's headed
straight for us, Jack.
801
00:34:52,520 --> 00:34:54,188
It'll be here any second.
802
00:34:55,823 --> 00:34:57,854
The safeties are off.
803
00:34:57,859 --> 00:34:59,789
You still have time to strike back.
804
00:34:59,794 --> 00:35:01,754
This game ain't over yet, Mr. President.
805
00:35:01,759 --> 00:35:03,559
It's not a damn game.
806
00:35:03,564 --> 00:35:04,864
Whoever launched that missile,
807
00:35:04,869 --> 00:35:06,399
for whatever reason, it was a mistake.
808
00:35:06,404 --> 00:35:09,299
You strike back at the Soviets,
they're gonna strike back at us.
809
00:35:09,304 --> 00:35:12,135
That is why it is called
"mutually assured destruction".
810
00:35:12,140 --> 00:35:15,371
Clearly you do not
understand the concept!
811
00:35:15,376 --> 00:35:17,073
Listen, Jack,
812
00:35:17,078 --> 00:35:18,578
just because we're about to die
813
00:35:18,583 --> 00:35:21,044
doesn't mean we take the
whole damn world with us.
814
00:35:21,049 --> 00:35:24,347
[TENSE MUSIC]
815
00:35:24,352 --> 00:35:28,284
♪ ♪
816
00:35:28,289 --> 00:35:29,886
You're right.
817
00:35:29,891 --> 00:35:31,587
I'm spiking this football.
818
00:35:31,592 --> 00:35:34,624
[SOLEMN MUSIC]
819
00:35:34,629 --> 00:35:38,834
♪ ♪
820
00:35:45,373 --> 00:35:46,406
Um...
821
00:35:48,576 --> 00:35:51,407
Are we about to die?
822
00:35:51,412 --> 00:35:53,409
Yeah.
823
00:35:53,414 --> 00:35:56,779
But at least we gave
it the old college try.
824
00:35:56,784 --> 00:35:59,449
Well, I ain't going out without a fight!
825
00:35:59,454 --> 00:36:03,659
♪ ♪
826
00:36:11,566 --> 00:36:14,801
[ROCKETS RUMBLING]
827
00:36:28,116 --> 00:36:31,051
Take that, you Commie bastards!
828
00:36:39,194 --> 00:36:41,190
Um...
829
00:36:41,195 --> 00:36:45,228
think we can let go of our hands?
830
00:36:45,233 --> 00:36:47,897
You did it, Jack! You saved us all!
831
00:36:47,902 --> 00:36:49,665
[LAUGHS]
832
00:36:49,670 --> 00:36:51,401
Luck of the Irish, I guess.
833
00:36:51,406 --> 00:36:53,903
[EXCITING MUSIC]
834
00:36:53,908 --> 00:36:55,204
Come on, buddy. Get in there.
835
00:36:55,209 --> 00:36:56,339
- Yeah.
- No. Yeah?
836
00:36:56,344 --> 00:36:58,674
- Yeah.
- Yeah. Ah! Ah!
837
00:36:58,679 --> 00:37:00,376
[ALL YELLING]
838
00:37:00,381 --> 00:37:02,311
[ALL WHOOPING]
839
00:37:02,316 --> 00:37:03,884
Go, Crimson!
840
00:37:07,200 --> 00:37:09,497
Captain, I'm detecting an unusual level
841
00:37:09,502 --> 00:37:11,703
of radiation on the ship.
842
00:37:14,007 --> 00:37:16,104
Rory.
843
00:37:16,109 --> 00:37:17,338
[ALIEN CHITTERS]
844
00:37:17,343 --> 00:37:19,040
Are you sure it's safe for us
845
00:37:19,045 --> 00:37:20,875
to be carrying plutonium around?
846
00:37:20,880 --> 00:37:22,444
No.
847
00:37:22,449 --> 00:37:23,482
Whoa!
848
00:37:25,885 --> 00:37:27,386
[ALIEN SNARLS NONCHALANTLY]
849
00:37:33,926 --> 00:37:37,462
Oh, uh, this is not how it looks.
850
00:37:38,832 --> 00:37:40,261
I know.
851
00:37:40,266 --> 00:37:41,930
I owe you an apology.
852
00:37:41,935 --> 00:37:45,033
You saved the entire world
from nuclear Armageddon, Rory.
853
00:37:45,038 --> 00:37:48,002
Well, I, uh... I had help.
854
00:37:48,007 --> 00:37:49,441
Yeah.
855
00:37:50,877 --> 00:37:52,474
[ALIEN CHITTERS]
856
00:37:52,479 --> 00:37:54,275
It doesn't say much, does it?
857
00:37:54,280 --> 00:37:57,245
Oh, she does. You'd be surprised.
858
00:37:57,250 --> 00:37:58,513
- Did you say "she"?
- Mm-hmm.
859
00:37:58,518 --> 00:38:01,149
Huh. So what's the plan?
860
00:38:01,154 --> 00:38:02,684
Well, she's hooking some kind
861
00:38:02,689 --> 00:38:05,019
of turbo charger to the Waverider.
862
00:38:05,024 --> 00:38:06,654
Why would she help us?
863
00:38:06,659 --> 00:38:09,958
I promised her I'd
help her find her ship.
864
00:38:09,963 --> 00:38:12,560
Okay. Do you trust her?
865
00:38:12,565 --> 00:38:14,662
No, it's why I'm going alone.
866
00:38:14,667 --> 00:38:17,031
Oh... uh, no. But that...
867
00:38:17,036 --> 00:38:18,066
But no.
868
00:38:18,071 --> 00:38:20,502
You said your job is to protect history.
869
00:38:20,507 --> 00:38:23,137
I also said your job wasn't
to think for yourself,
870
00:38:23,142 --> 00:38:25,206
but had you listened
to any of my orders,
871
00:38:25,211 --> 00:38:28,143
we'd have absolutely no
hope in finding Sara, so I...
872
00:38:28,148 --> 00:38:31,143
[SOFT MUSIC]
873
00:38:31,148 --> 00:38:32,148
♪ ♪
874
00:38:32,152 --> 00:38:34,048
I guess you got this.
875
00:38:34,053 --> 00:38:35,750
Stop saying nice things.
876
00:38:35,755 --> 00:38:39,960
♪ ♪
877
00:38:40,760 --> 00:38:43,825
You just bring me back my girl, okay?
878
00:38:43,830 --> 00:38:46,194
Mm.
879
00:38:46,199 --> 00:38:47,599
Good luck, big guy.
880
00:38:55,708 --> 00:38:57,972
Sorry, what happened to the ship?
881
00:38:57,977 --> 00:39:00,275
It should be somewhere around here.
882
00:39:00,280 --> 00:39:02,810
[SIGHS] God, these shoes are killing me.
883
00:39:02,815 --> 00:39:04,616
And this stupid hair.
884
00:39:09,489 --> 00:39:11,757
I look like her again, don't I?
885
00:39:15,662 --> 00:39:19,264
I hate that I'm a reminder
of everything you lost.
886
00:39:20,500 --> 00:39:23,164
You're not.
887
00:39:23,169 --> 00:39:25,337
I mean, I guess at first.
888
00:39:26,940 --> 00:39:28,373
But now?
889
00:39:30,043 --> 00:39:32,444
Now you just remind me of you.
890
00:39:36,649 --> 00:39:38,680
Wasn't there a Waverider here?
891
00:39:38,685 --> 00:39:40,215
- Hmm.
- Hey.
892
00:39:40,220 --> 00:39:43,217
[GASPS, CLAPS] Well played, gang.
893
00:39:43,222 --> 00:39:45,086
How'd you manage to avert
nuclear Armageddon?
894
00:39:45,091 --> 00:39:46,821
- Sports analogies.
- Hmm.
895
00:39:46,826 --> 00:39:48,156
- Pot gummies.
- Ah.
896
00:39:48,161 --> 00:39:49,825
- Very on brand for both of you.
- Thank you.
897
00:39:49,829 --> 00:39:51,692
Hey, where are Rory and Spooner?
898
00:39:51,697 --> 00:39:53,528
That son of a bitch stole our ship.
899
00:39:53,533 --> 00:39:56,564
- Ah, very on brand, Mick.
- Oh, come on.
900
00:39:56,569 --> 00:39:58,696
You should be thanking him
for stealing the warhead
901
00:39:58,701 --> 00:40:00,901
out of the missile that
Fidel launched on D.C., yes?
902
00:40:00,906 --> 00:40:02,403
- Thanks, Mick.
- Hmm. Oh!
903
00:40:02,408 --> 00:40:03,772
And he made a deal with the alien
904
00:40:03,777 --> 00:40:05,106
to take it to its ship as long as
905
00:40:05,111 --> 00:40:06,440
it took us to Sara.
906
00:40:06,445 --> 00:40:07,810
- So he stole the ship?
- But it's...
907
00:40:07,814 --> 00:40:09,878
Sorry, my phones are on that ship.
908
00:40:09,883 --> 00:40:11,246
So was my...
909
00:40:11,251 --> 00:40:12,914
oh, thank God.
910
00:40:12,919 --> 00:40:14,983
How are we gonna catch aliens now?
911
00:40:14,988 --> 00:40:18,493
So-so-so sorry, where are going to live?
912
00:40:19,192 --> 00:40:21,322
BOTH: Constantine's house.
913
00:40:21,327 --> 00:40:23,524
Sweet. I could use a little R&R.
914
00:40:23,529 --> 00:40:26,894
All of us under the same
roof with John and Astra.
915
00:40:26,899 --> 00:40:28,930
Could be a real bonding experience.
916
00:40:28,935 --> 00:40:30,232
He's gonna hate it. Let's leave.
917
00:40:30,236 --> 00:40:31,666
- Okay.
- Damn.
918
00:40:31,671 --> 00:40:34,135
Rory had the right idea.
919
00:40:34,140 --> 00:40:36,271
Hmm? Hmm?
920
00:40:36,276 --> 00:40:38,473
[MISCHIEVOUS MUSIC]
921
00:40:38,478 --> 00:40:40,008
Nobody wants your drugs!
922
00:40:40,013 --> 00:40:41,914
[SIGHS] Mom.
923
00:40:44,417 --> 00:40:45,880
Listen up.
924
00:40:45,885 --> 00:40:49,417
Before we start this
little journey of ours,
925
00:40:49,422 --> 00:40:51,085
let's get a few things straight.
926
00:40:51,090 --> 00:40:54,889
Keep your slimy tentacles
off my stash, understand?
927
00:40:54,894 --> 00:40:56,591
[ALIEN SNARLS]
928
00:40:56,596 --> 00:40:58,226
That better be a "yes".
929
00:40:58,231 --> 00:40:59,727
- [ALIEN SNARLS]
- Listen.
930
00:40:59,732 --> 00:41:01,462
If you're gonna run your ugly mouth off
931
00:41:01,467 --> 00:41:03,531
this whole trip, we're
gonna have problems.
932
00:41:03,536 --> 00:41:07,741
[TENSE MUSIC]
933
00:41:10,143 --> 00:41:12,907
[MISCHIEVOUS MUSIC]
934
00:41:12,912 --> 00:41:17,111
I was just asking if you had
anything stronger onboard.
935
00:41:17,116 --> 00:41:21,321
♪ ♪
936
00:41:24,691 --> 00:41:26,358
Don't mind if I do.
937
00:41:34,067 --> 00:41:35,367
[SIGHS]
938
00:41:37,036 --> 00:41:39,000
Here's to long journeys.
939
00:41:39,005 --> 00:41:42,605
[EXCITING MUSIC]
940
00:42:04,170 --> 00:42:05,670
Greg, move your head!
941
00:42:05,675 --> 00:42:10,075
- Synced and corrected by Firefly -
- www.addic7ed.com -
64423
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