Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:23,857 --> 00:00:27,759
Let me, uh... let me give you
a little tip, okay?
2
00:00:27,794 --> 00:00:30,729
- Mm-hmm.
- For traveling... a traveling tip.
3
00:00:32,065 --> 00:00:34,056
Try not to wear shorts.
4
00:00:34,100 --> 00:00:37,126
It's not all that attractive
to look at for five hours.
5
00:00:37,170 --> 00:00:38,933
- Are you kidding?
- Honestly. No, I'm not.
6
00:00:38,972 --> 00:00:40,701
- I wear these on every flight...
- Really?
7
00:00:40,740 --> 00:00:42,037
...'cause it's very comfortable.
- Yes. Yeah.
8
00:00:42,075 --> 00:00:44,066
These planes,
if you notice, get very hot.
9
00:00:44,110 --> 00:00:46,908
- Ah. Yes, they do.
- I didn't see where I had to check
10
00:00:46,946 --> 00:00:49,039
with the person I'm sitting next to
what I should wear.
11
00:00:49,082 --> 00:00:51,380
I'm comfortable in pajamas,
but I don't wear pajamas on a plane.
12
00:00:51,418 --> 00:00:53,352
I like to sing.
I like to whistle.
13
00:00:53,386 --> 00:00:55,183
I like to play
the bongos on my leg.
14
00:00:55,221 --> 00:00:56,916
- I like to imitate horses...
- Okay.
15
00:00:56,956 --> 00:00:58,821
...but I don't do it, okay?
- All right.
16
00:00:58,858 --> 00:01:00,553
- Because there's somebody next to me.
- Yeah, okay. Okay.
17
00:01:00,593 --> 00:01:03,221
Wow, you're very uptight, dude.
Very uptight.
18
00:01:03,263 --> 00:01:05,629
- Uptight? I don't think it's "uptight."
- It's just shorts, man.
19
00:01:05,665 --> 00:01:08,190
- You've never seen a man's legs?
- Yeah, they're grotesque.
20
00:01:08,234 --> 00:01:10,361
What if they were
a woman's in a skirt?
21
00:01:10,403 --> 00:01:13,099
Would you say that
to her if a woman's in a skirt?
22
00:01:13,139 --> 00:01:15,539
- If they were hairy.
- Okay.
23
00:01:15,575 --> 00:01:17,736
Are you ready
for a hot towel?
24
00:01:25,018 --> 00:01:27,282
She must've put it
in the microwave.
25
00:01:27,320 --> 00:01:30,847
Don't you think? I mean, have you ever
seen anything like this is your life?
26
00:01:30,890 --> 00:01:33,154
- Huh.
- Only me. Only me this happens to.
27
00:01:33,193 --> 00:01:35,684
I bet you I could sue 'em.
Don't you think?
28
00:01:35,728 --> 00:01:37,389
Do I have a case?
Tell me.
29
00:01:37,430 --> 00:01:39,557
- Would you testify for me?
- No.
30
00:01:39,599 --> 00:01:41,260
- You wouldn't testify?
- No, I wouldn't.
31
00:01:41,301 --> 00:01:42,928
I find that odd and troubling.
32
00:01:42,969 --> 00:01:45,665
Yeah, it would be hard to find
a doctor who, in good conscience,
33
00:01:45,705 --> 00:01:49,471
could recommend a high-value
settlement for that burn.
34
00:01:49,509 --> 00:01:52,137
Okay. I'll drop it.
35
00:01:52,178 --> 00:01:54,510
- Forget about it.
- Okay. By the way,
36
00:01:54,547 --> 00:01:56,811
I am loving the music
in the waiting room.
37
00:01:56,850 --> 00:01:59,580
- Oh.
- The opera? Fabulous.
38
00:01:59,619 --> 00:02:01,177
I'm glad you like it.
39
00:02:01,221 --> 00:02:03,280
I got the idea
from an Italian restaurant...
40
00:02:03,323 --> 00:02:05,314
a new Italian restaurant
called Matteo's.
41
00:02:05,358 --> 00:02:08,327
They have live singers
who do some arias
42
00:02:08,361 --> 00:02:10,261
- from various Italian operas.
- No kidding?
43
00:02:10,296 --> 00:02:12,423
- Yeah yeah yeah yeah.
- What a fabulous idea.
44
00:02:12,465 --> 00:02:14,399
I need to buy an anniversary gift
for my friends.
45
00:02:14,434 --> 00:02:16,800
I'll bet you... that would be
a good gift, would it not?
46
00:02:16,836 --> 00:02:18,895
- It'd be a great gift.
- A gift certificate to this restaurant?
47
00:02:18,938 --> 00:02:20,838
Absolutely.
Yeah. Do it.
48
00:02:20,874 --> 00:02:23,308
- All right. Thank you for everything.
- You're welcome.
49
00:02:23,343 --> 00:02:25,777
- I'm sorry to bother you, you know.
- No problem.
50
00:02:25,812 --> 00:02:28,042
- Well, should I come back?
- No, you don't need to come back.
51
00:02:28,081 --> 00:02:31,346
It'll be healed before
ou walk out the door.
52
00:02:31,384 --> 00:02:32,976
Okay.
53
00:02:33,019 --> 00:02:35,385
You know what?
54
00:02:35,421 --> 00:02:37,514
I was just thinking.
55
00:02:37,557 --> 00:02:40,151
I'd love to get
your home phone number
56
00:02:40,193 --> 00:02:42,423
just in case of an emergency
or something else
57
00:02:42,462 --> 00:02:44,225
with the hand. Who knows?
Something comes up,
58
00:02:44,264 --> 00:02:47,358
- it's nice to have.
- I don't give out my home phone number.
59
00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:48,890
You know, I understand all that,
60
00:02:48,935 --> 00:02:51,563
but I would feel better, you know.
61
00:02:51,604 --> 00:02:53,765
It would make me feel
more secure.
62
00:02:53,806 --> 00:02:55,865
Nothing's gonna happen.
I'm never gonna call.
63
00:02:55,909 --> 00:02:57,900
You know, what are the odds
of something happening? Zero.
64
00:02:57,944 --> 00:03:00,105
Well, if anything happened,
you can always call the service
65
00:03:00,146 --> 00:03:03,172
- and they'll contact me.
- I have to deal with the middleman,
66
00:03:03,216 --> 00:03:05,411
sort of, and maybe
the service isn't there.
67
00:03:05,451 --> 00:03:07,942
Why does he have the privilege
of talking to you and not me?
68
00:03:07,987 --> 00:03:10,751
- I'm your patient.
- You have a problem.
69
00:03:10,790 --> 00:03:13,384
You make the call.
They call me,
70
00:03:13,426 --> 00:03:15,485
then I respond to you.
71
00:03:15,528 --> 00:03:17,553
It works like a charm!
It works every time!
72
00:03:17,597 --> 00:03:20,862
I like the idea of having my doctor's
number in my wallet.
73
00:03:20,900 --> 00:03:23,027
I don't want to be
in your wallet.
74
00:03:23,069 --> 00:03:24,696
I want you in my wallet.
75
00:03:26,339 --> 00:03:29,604
- What do you think?
- I'll make an exception in your case
76
00:03:29,642 --> 00:03:32,873
purely in the interests
of getting on with my day.
77
00:03:32,912 --> 00:03:35,005
- Fantastic. Thanks so much.
- All right.
78
00:03:35,048 --> 00:03:36,845
I do not expect you
to abuse it
79
00:03:36,883 --> 00:03:39,716
and I don't want you to call me
directly at home, all right?
80
00:03:39,752 --> 00:03:41,276
But if it'll make you feel better,
81
00:03:41,321 --> 00:03:44,051
get the number
from my receptionist
82
00:03:44,090 --> 00:03:45,455
- on the way out.
- Okay.
83
00:03:45,491 --> 00:03:47,186
- Keep it dry...
- Keep it dry.
84
00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:48,717
...and don't call.
85
00:03:53,266 --> 00:03:56,133
- Hello.
- Really?
86
00:03:56,169 --> 00:03:58,103
- Wow.
- Wow.
87
00:03:58,137 --> 00:04:01,732
Jeez. Mary Jane.
88
00:04:01,774 --> 00:04:03,537
- Hey. Hi.
- Hi. Hi.
89
00:04:03,576 --> 00:04:05,601
- Hi.
- How are you?
90
00:04:05,645 --> 00:04:07,875
- It's been awhile.
- Uh, yeah.
91
00:04:07,914 --> 00:04:10,576
- Well, you look good.
- So do you.
92
00:04:10,617 --> 00:04:12,778
Thank you.
How are things?
93
00:04:12,819 --> 00:04:15,310
I just came from the doctor.
I've got two months to live.
94
00:04:15,355 --> 00:04:16,788
- It's terrible.
- Not very funny.
95
00:04:16,823 --> 00:04:18,484
Yeah, I'm trying to get
women to take pity on me,
96
00:04:18,524 --> 00:04:20,151
so they'll sleep with me,
you know. That's all.
97
00:04:20,193 --> 00:04:22,161
So I just tell everybody that.
98
00:04:22,195 --> 00:04:24,561
- Hmm.
- So, um,
99
00:04:24,597 --> 00:04:26,656
what are you...
what's your social situation?
100
00:04:26,699 --> 00:04:28,633
- Are you married?
- God no.
101
00:04:28,668 --> 00:04:30,431
You regret breaking up
with me though.
102
00:04:30,470 --> 00:04:32,131
You're still... you're still having
nightmares about that?
103
00:04:32,171 --> 00:04:33,866
You... oh, Larry,
you're the same!
104
00:04:33,906 --> 00:04:36,136
You can admit it...
you made a mistake.
105
00:04:36,175 --> 00:04:38,973
We should go out.
We should go out and catch up.
106
00:04:39,012 --> 00:04:40,604
- You know, that would be fantastic.
- Yeah?
107
00:04:40,647 --> 00:04:42,410
- Yeah, let's do that.
- What about tonight?
108
00:04:42,448 --> 00:04:46,145
Tonight I'm going to Ted Danson's
anniversary party.
109
00:04:46,185 --> 00:04:49,882
Oh, yeah. Yeah, my friend
Christian Slater's gonna be there.
110
00:04:49,922 --> 00:04:51,389
- Christian Slater?
- Yeah.
111
00:04:51,424 --> 00:04:52,948
- He's a friend of yours?
- Yeah, tell him I said hi.
112
00:04:52,992 --> 00:04:55,153
Uh, no, but I'll... I'll see him.
113
00:04:55,194 --> 00:04:58,129
- Um, how about tomorrow?
- Okay.
114
00:04:58,164 --> 00:04:59,859
- We're gonna have a date?
- Yeah.
115
00:04:59,899 --> 00:05:01,799
- Do you have my number?
- I do.
116
00:05:01,834 --> 00:05:03,563
- You think I threw away your number?
- You do not have my...
117
00:05:03,603 --> 00:05:05,901
I've got the number of every woman
I've ever gone out with in my life.
118
00:05:05,938 --> 00:05:08,406
Believe me. I'm gonna
see you tomorrow.
119
00:05:08,441 --> 00:05:11,001
- Yeah.
- I've changed.
120
00:05:11,044 --> 00:05:13,137
- Bye.
- Bye.
121
00:05:19,585 --> 00:05:21,951
Mozzarella? Nah.
122
00:05:23,656 --> 00:05:27,092
- Hey.
- Hi.
123
00:05:27,126 --> 00:05:29,594
Do you remember
Mary Jane Porter?
124
00:05:29,629 --> 00:05:31,324
One of my favorites.
125
00:05:31,364 --> 00:05:33,332
- I ran into her today.
- How's she look?
126
00:05:33,366 --> 00:05:35,300
- Fantastic.
- Really?
127
00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:37,360
- Oh my God, she's a doll.
- Oh God.
128
00:05:37,403 --> 00:05:39,371
- You know?
- Yeah. Why'd she go out with you?
129
00:05:39,405 --> 00:05:41,464
I don't know why
she went out with me.
130
00:05:41,507 --> 00:05:43,407
I don't know.
That's a good question.
131
00:05:43,443 --> 00:05:45,308
- A big bowl of out of your league.
- Way out of my league.
132
00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:47,472
- Huge time.
- Well, that's why she got rid of me.
133
00:05:47,513 --> 00:05:49,481
- Yeah. Really?
- Well, I was so desperate.
134
00:05:49,515 --> 00:05:51,449
She could sense
the insecurity.
135
00:05:51,484 --> 00:05:54,078
- They pick up on it.
- Instantly.
136
00:05:54,120 --> 00:05:56,054
- I'm seeing her tomorrow night.
- Really?
137
00:05:56,089 --> 00:05:57,522
Yeah. She asked me.
138
00:05:57,557 --> 00:06:00,048
Maybe she's got
the desperation this time.
139
00:06:00,093 --> 00:06:01,720
- Hopefully.
- Hopefully.
140
00:06:01,761 --> 00:06:04,093
It's a lot easier to work with their
desperation than mine.
141
00:06:04,130 --> 00:06:06,189
- Let me ask you a question. Sexually...
- Yeah. Yeah.
142
00:06:06,232 --> 00:06:08,200
...can I pick up where
I left off with her?
143
00:06:08,234 --> 00:06:10,099
Absolutely.
You put in your time.
144
00:06:10,136 --> 00:06:12,070
I mean, it's like
15 years later, but...
145
00:06:12,105 --> 00:06:13,868
Everything you've done
before counts.
146
00:06:13,906 --> 00:06:15,601
Yes. I don't know...
147
00:06:15,641 --> 00:06:18,109
in terms of unhooking bras,
I'm really gonna be in trouble.
148
00:06:18,144 --> 00:06:20,669
- Look at this?
- Why don't you use your right hand?
149
00:06:20,713 --> 00:06:23,147
I'm... I'm a lefty unhooker.
I can't unhook righty.
150
00:06:23,182 --> 00:06:25,776
It's from the car,
I think, when you park.
151
00:06:25,818 --> 00:06:27,911
- Right.
- Making out in the driver's seat,
152
00:06:27,954 --> 00:06:30,286
you lean over, it's your left hand
that's doing the unhooking.
153
00:06:30,323 --> 00:06:31,813
You get used to the left.
It's like the one thing
154
00:06:31,858 --> 00:06:33,758
if you're a righty that you do
with your left hand with skill.
155
00:06:33,793 --> 00:06:36,125
- That's true.
- So what's going on with Cheryl?
156
00:06:36,162 --> 00:06:38,130
Hopefully we can
cast her in this thing
157
00:06:38,164 --> 00:06:39,995
and see what happens.
158
00:06:40,032 --> 00:06:42,364
What about the whole
Meg Ryan situation?
159
00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:43,994
Oh, it's gonna...
it's gonna be about Jerry.
160
00:06:44,036 --> 00:06:47,062
- Yeah.
- I've just gotta convince Jerry
161
00:06:47,106 --> 00:06:49,574
to use Cheryl,
'cause if I cast her...
162
00:06:49,609 --> 00:06:51,804
then I think I'll have a shot.
163
00:06:51,844 --> 00:06:53,778
- I think it's a great plan.
- In the meantime,
164
00:06:53,813 --> 00:06:55,303
I'm allowed to have
some fun, right?
165
00:06:55,348 --> 00:06:56,872
Please! Why not?
166
00:06:56,916 --> 00:06:58,816
Mary Jane Porter
asking you.
167
00:06:58,851 --> 00:07:00,546
Hey, what did
you get Ted and Mary?
168
00:07:00,586 --> 00:07:03,282
Susie gets all
the gifts. No idea.
169
00:07:03,322 --> 00:07:06,120
- Hello!
- Seriously, though...
170
00:07:06,159 --> 00:07:08,457
- Lar! I didn't see you come in.
- Hey!
171
00:07:08,494 --> 00:07:11,657
- Hey, buddy. That's sweet of you.
- Hey, congratulations.
172
00:07:11,697 --> 00:07:15,155
- Thank you, thank you.
- And look what I got.
173
00:07:15,201 --> 00:07:16,668
Dee-dah!
What is that?
174
00:07:16,702 --> 00:07:19,637
- It's a present.
- Oh my God.
175
00:07:19,672 --> 00:07:22,800
- Ho! Larry.
- Lar!
176
00:07:22,842 --> 00:07:24,366
- What?
- Oh my God.
177
00:07:24,410 --> 00:07:28,369
A $300 gift certificate
to Matteo's restaurant.
178
00:07:28,414 --> 00:07:30,405
Have you been there?
It's supposed to be great.
179
00:07:30,450 --> 00:07:32,941
Are you sure you wanna
give that much?
180
00:07:32,985 --> 00:07:34,976
I can't believe you did that.
181
00:07:35,021 --> 00:07:36,420
What? Why are
you so surprised?
182
00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:37,946
No, it's just,
you know, the last...
183
00:07:37,990 --> 00:07:39,981
- what was the last gift?
- "The Freak Book."
184
00:07:40,026 --> 00:07:42,460
- "The Freak Book."
- That was a good gift,
185
00:07:42,495 --> 00:07:43,757
- and it was expensive too.
- This is great.
186
00:07:43,796 --> 00:07:44,922
I shouldn't have even
brought that up.
187
00:07:44,964 --> 00:07:46,955
- I'm sorry. This is great.
- No, it's really nice.
188
00:07:46,999 --> 00:07:49,331
- Thank you. Thank you.
- Very very generous of you, buddy.
189
00:07:49,368 --> 00:07:52,394
- Thank you.
- Oh, okay. Well, you're welcome.
190
00:07:52,438 --> 00:07:54,929
Is it a lot better than the gifts
you've been getting?
191
00:07:54,974 --> 00:07:56,908
- No.
- No no no.
192
00:07:56,943 --> 00:07:58,672
- Well...
- It's just...
193
00:07:58,711 --> 00:08:00,542
- It's just that...
- It's just... it's...
194
00:08:00,580 --> 00:08:02,445
- No, it's a great gift. Thank you.
- Thank you.
195
00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:04,575
Thank you. Let me...
I've gotta catch up with...
196
00:08:04,617 --> 00:08:06,778
Of course.
The host has to circulate.
197
00:08:06,819 --> 00:08:09,481
- You circulate too, Lar.
- L... I know. You're the big stars,
198
00:08:09,522 --> 00:08:12,013
- the hosts of the party.
- There's a lot of nice women here.
199
00:08:12,058 --> 00:08:14,754
Everybody wants to talk
to the hosts of course.
200
00:08:14,794 --> 00:08:17,092
I understand.
"Oh, I'm the host.
201
00:08:17,129 --> 00:08:19,723
Hello, I'm the host
of the party."
202
00:08:19,765 --> 00:08:21,995
- Hey.
- Hey, LD. How are you, man?
203
00:08:22,034 --> 00:08:24,696
Good. You know,
I ran into a friend of yours today.
204
00:08:24,737 --> 00:08:26,705
- Who's that?
- Mary... Mary Jane Porter.
205
00:08:26,739 --> 00:08:29,902
- Mmm! I love her. She's great.
- Mmm.
206
00:08:31,077 --> 00:08:33,102
Jesus Christ.
207
00:08:33,145 --> 00:08:35,841
- What?
- Really going to town on that caviar.
208
00:08:35,882 --> 00:08:38,112
It's the best caviar
they could possibly get.
209
00:08:38,150 --> 00:08:40,243
It's unbelievable. What do you think
I'm gonna do, pass this up?
210
00:08:40,286 --> 00:08:43,187
I think you're going over
your allotment a little bit. No?
211
00:08:43,222 --> 00:08:44,746
- My allotment?
- You know,
212
00:08:44,790 --> 00:08:47,088
we're each entitled
to take a certain amount
213
00:08:47,126 --> 00:08:50,220
so everybody else can
have a little bit too.
214
00:08:50,263 --> 00:08:52,561
- Umm.
- It feels like you're going over.
215
00:08:52,598 --> 00:08:54,395
Just an observation.
Not a big deal.
216
00:08:54,433 --> 00:08:56,333
- Okay.
- Just something I'm observing.
217
00:08:56,369 --> 00:08:59,566
It's good that you're here to patrol
the hors d'oeuvres area.
218
00:08:59,605 --> 00:09:01,095
- Yeah.
- Okay.
219
00:09:01,140 --> 00:09:03,574
We have unwritten laws
in this society.
220
00:09:03,609 --> 00:09:06,669
If I'm talking to somebody
and they said their friend has cancer,
221
00:09:06,712 --> 00:09:08,737
I go "Oh. Oh. Oh."
222
00:09:08,781 --> 00:09:11,147
Even though I don't know
the person, I'll go "Oh."
223
00:09:11,183 --> 00:09:12,844
You know,
it's an unwritten law.
224
00:09:12,885 --> 00:09:14,375
You do something
like that.
225
00:09:14,420 --> 00:09:16,388
- Mmm. Okay.
- It's a nice thing to do.
226
00:09:16,422 --> 00:09:18,583
What you should be doing here
is you take a little bit,
227
00:09:18,624 --> 00:09:21,787
then you step away for 20 minutes,
see what kind of action there is.
228
00:09:21,827 --> 00:09:23,351
- Oh.
- If nobody's taking any,
229
00:09:23,396 --> 00:09:25,762
maybe take a little bit more,
step away again.
230
00:09:25,798 --> 00:09:27,663
- So forth and so on.
- Okay, look.
231
00:09:27,700 --> 00:09:30,601
Let me just scoop
a little more on here
232
00:09:30,636 --> 00:09:34,128
and I'm gonna
step away then.
233
00:09:34,173 --> 00:09:36,300
- Wow.
- Enjoy the party.
234
00:09:36,342 --> 00:09:38,776
- Okay. All right.
- Always good to see you.
235
00:09:40,079 --> 00:09:42,172
Larry, did you eat
all that caviar?
236
00:09:42,214 --> 00:09:45,081
- Huh? No.
- Why would you do that?
237
00:09:45,117 --> 00:09:47,312
I mean, everybody knows
you take a little, right?
238
00:09:47,353 --> 00:09:49,844
- Hey, it wasn't me.
- Then who was it?
239
00:09:49,889 --> 00:09:52,858
Christian Slater was
eating gobfuls of it.
240
00:09:52,892 --> 00:09:54,450
- I hate that.
- I couldn't even look at it.
241
00:09:54,493 --> 00:09:56,017
That's...
242
00:09:56,062 --> 00:09:57,927
- So inconsiderate, no?
- It's an unwritten rule.
243
00:09:57,964 --> 00:09:59,829
- You take your...
- Unwritten rule, exactly.
244
00:09:59,865 --> 00:10:01,594
Can I have everyone's
attention, please?
245
00:10:01,634 --> 00:10:03,727
Ted and Mary,
our gracious hosts...
246
00:10:03,769 --> 00:10:07,102
happy anniversary
to an incredible couple.
247
00:10:07,139 --> 00:10:08,663
We didn't know
what to get you.
248
00:10:08,708 --> 00:10:10,300
You clearly have
everything.
249
00:10:10,343 --> 00:10:12,106
We're not gonna get you
a toaster or a blender,
250
00:10:12,144 --> 00:10:16,342
so our incredibly
talented daughter Sammi,
251
00:10:16,382 --> 00:10:20,512
as our gift to you,
is gonna sing a special song.
252
00:10:20,553 --> 00:10:23,716
- Oh, that's so sweet.
- Let's have a nice round of applause.
253
00:10:23,756 --> 00:10:27,055
- That's a gift? Are you kidding?
- Sammi is gonna sing.
254
00:10:27,093 --> 00:10:28,822
- Let's hear it for Sammi.
- How is that a gift?
255
00:10:36,068 --> 00:10:38,036
Oh my God.
256
00:10:50,916 --> 00:10:52,884
Are you kidding me?
257
00:10:52,918 --> 00:10:54,715
Are you kidding?
258
00:10:54,754 --> 00:10:56,813
It's the worst thing
I've ever heard in my life.
259
00:10:58,090 --> 00:10:59,682
All right. Okay.
260
00:10:59,725 --> 00:11:02,057
All right. Okay.
That's good. That's good.
261
00:11:02,094 --> 00:11:03,857
- Very good! That was wonderful.
- What are you doing?
262
00:11:03,896 --> 00:11:05,659
- What are you doing?
- Very good talent.
263
00:11:05,698 --> 00:11:07,325
- I'm not... I'm not done.
- No no no no, that was terrific.
264
00:11:07,366 --> 00:11:08,560
No no, she's not done.
What are you doing?
265
00:11:08,601 --> 00:11:09,693
That was very good.
Very good.
266
00:11:09,735 --> 00:11:11,396
Why are you
interrupting her, Larry?
267
00:11:11,437 --> 00:11:13,234
Why are you... she was
singing the song.
268
00:11:13,272 --> 00:11:15,297
- What were you doing?
- What? The song's over.
269
00:11:15,341 --> 00:11:17,832
No, the song was not over.
You know the song was not over
270
00:11:17,877 --> 00:11:19,538
- and you cut her off!
- I thought the song was over.
271
00:11:19,578 --> 00:11:22,513
You ruined the whole gift!
That was our gift, for God's sake!
272
00:11:22,548 --> 00:11:24,539
- Oh, I thought the song was over.
- Sammi, that was great.
273
00:11:24,583 --> 00:11:27,381
Let's give her a nice
round of applause. That was good.
274
00:11:27,420 --> 00:11:29,786
That was good. Yeah.
275
00:11:31,223 --> 00:11:33,214
I'll tell you...
that's a talented kid.
276
00:11:38,531 --> 00:11:41,591
Hey! Real nice.
Real nice.
277
00:11:44,603 --> 00:11:47,936
Come... I mean, Mary is pissed
at me about the caviar.
278
00:11:47,973 --> 00:11:49,907
Thanks. Thanks a lot.
Thank you.
279
00:11:49,942 --> 00:11:52,274
What?
What did she say?
280
00:11:52,311 --> 00:11:53,938
She said that you told her
281
00:11:53,979 --> 00:11:57,278
that I helped myself
to too much caviar.
282
00:11:57,316 --> 00:12:00,149
Well, she noticed the caviar
283
00:12:00,186 --> 00:12:01,653
and asked me who ate it.
284
00:12:01,687 --> 00:12:03,450
What? What?
Was I supposed to lie?
285
00:12:03,489 --> 00:12:05,787
- I was not taking too much caviar!
- Oh, please. Are you kidding?
286
00:12:05,825 --> 00:12:08,623
- Who are you?!
- You ate it like it was potato chips!
287
00:12:08,661 --> 00:12:10,561
It's there to be eaten, you know?
288
00:12:10,596 --> 00:12:12,996
- Not by one person!
- It was out there on the table.
289
00:12:13,032 --> 00:12:15,796
- You made it your dinner.
- Oh God.
290
00:12:21,540 --> 00:12:22,768
Smile.
291
00:12:25,478 --> 00:12:27,275
Hey, mind your own business.
How about that?
292
00:12:28,447 --> 00:12:30,244
"Smile."
293
00:12:32,451 --> 00:12:34,817
Hello.
294
00:12:34,854 --> 00:12:39,018
- Fat boy!
- What? Hello?
295
00:12:39,058 --> 00:12:42,289
- Jeff?
- Umm, no.
296
00:12:42,328 --> 00:12:44,796
- No, there's no Jeff here.
- Is this Dr. Morrison?
297
00:12:44,830 --> 00:12:47,355
Uh, yeah, it is.
It is. Who's this?
298
00:12:47,399 --> 00:12:49,196
Oh my God!
It's Larry David!
299
00:12:49,235 --> 00:12:50,964
Your patient Larry David.
300
00:12:51,003 --> 00:12:53,233
And wasn't it just
a couple of days ago
301
00:12:53,272 --> 00:12:56,241
that I saw you and asked you
not to call here?
302
00:12:56,275 --> 00:12:58,675
No, I wasn't calling you.
I was calling Jeff Greene...
303
00:12:58,711 --> 00:13:01,544
listen... and your name is
right under his
304
00:13:01,580 --> 00:13:03,377
and I must have pressed
yours by accident.
305
00:13:03,415 --> 00:13:07,146
I distinctly recall
asking you not to call me.
306
00:13:07,186 --> 00:13:08,676
No no, I didn't call.
307
00:13:08,721 --> 00:13:10,712
How can you say
you didn't call?!
308
00:13:10,756 --> 00:13:13,748
- You did call.
- I didn't call purposefully.
309
00:13:13,793 --> 00:13:17,229
- It was an accident.
- An accident call is still a call.
310
00:13:17,263 --> 00:13:19,060
Technically, I called, but...
311
00:13:19,098 --> 00:13:20,963
Look. I'm in the other room
312
00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:22,797
I'm working.
I had to walk in here.
313
00:13:22,835 --> 00:13:24,598
I had to pick up the phone.
314
00:13:24,637 --> 00:13:27,071
Now I'm talking to you.
That's a call.
315
00:13:27,106 --> 00:13:28,733
It's a wrong number.
316
00:13:28,774 --> 00:13:30,867
You know, I don't have
an hourglass set up here,
317
00:13:30,910 --> 00:13:32,810
but it's the longest wrong number
318
00:13:32,845 --> 00:13:34,369
I've ever had in my life.
319
00:13:34,413 --> 00:13:36,278
I have things
to do, Mr. David.
320
00:13:36,315 --> 00:13:38,749
- Really? What are you doing?
- I'm changing light bulbs
321
00:13:38,784 --> 00:13:40,809
and cleaning the cat's litter box.
322
00:13:40,853 --> 00:13:43,822
What do you do at home?
Does anybody ask you what you do...
323
00:13:43,856 --> 00:13:45,187
don't ask me what I do at home.
324
00:13:45,224 --> 00:13:47,283
All right. I'm gonna hang up then.
325
00:13:47,326 --> 00:13:49,487
You don't have to tell me
everything you're doing. Just hang up.
326
00:13:49,528 --> 00:13:51,519
Okay. The next time
you hear from me
327
00:13:51,564 --> 00:13:53,759
will be in case
of an emergency,
328
00:13:53,799 --> 00:13:55,323
and I hope
you don't hear from me.
329
00:13:55,367 --> 00:13:57,335
You still have
my service number.
330
00:13:57,369 --> 00:13:59,564
Call them, ask about their day.
331
00:13:59,605 --> 00:14:01,266
Don't bother me.
332
00:14:01,307 --> 00:14:04,708
- Hmm.
- So did you hang up yet?
333
00:14:04,743 --> 00:14:08,736
Not yet.
Should I hang up now?
334
00:14:08,781 --> 00:14:10,715
Yes, I'm going
to hang up now.
335
00:14:10,749 --> 00:14:12,580
Did I mention that I'm going
to the restaurant tonight?
336
00:14:12,618 --> 00:14:14,279
Goodbye.
337
00:14:16,989 --> 00:14:20,015
By the way, I'm not that
impressed with the food.
338
00:14:20,059 --> 00:14:21,492
It's good.
339
00:14:21,527 --> 00:14:24,052
No, I'm having a real problem
with this osso buco.
340
00:14:24,096 --> 00:14:26,223
I can't believe Dr. Morrison
recommended it. It's terrible.
341
00:14:26,265 --> 00:14:29,496
- You don't like food.
- What do you mean, I don't like food?
342
00:14:29,535 --> 00:14:31,560
You don't like food.
Every time we've gone out,
343
00:14:31,604 --> 00:14:33,595
- you're like "I don't like this food."
- No, I didn't like your food.
344
00:14:33,639 --> 00:14:35,072
- That's what...
- You didn't like my food?
345
00:14:35,107 --> 00:14:37,132
Your food... come on,
you were the worst cook in the world.
346
00:14:37,176 --> 00:14:38,939
- Oh, stop it.
- You know that. "Stop it."
347
00:14:38,978 --> 00:14:40,946
You are the only one
that thinks that.
348
00:14:40,980 --> 00:14:44,313
I think you're not a good... eater.
349
00:14:44,350 --> 00:14:47,615
- Really? You think I'm...
- Yeah, you're not a good eater.
350
00:14:47,653 --> 00:14:51,953
Anyway, I'd better shut up,
because I'm planning on...
351
00:14:51,991 --> 00:14:53,856
I'm planning
on a big move later
352
00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:55,861
and I think I might hurt my chances
353
00:14:55,895 --> 00:14:57,829
if I keep criticizing your food.
354
00:14:57,863 --> 00:14:59,797
- You're right.
- Yeah.
355
00:14:59,832 --> 00:15:02,164
A big big move.
356
00:15:02,201 --> 00:15:04,294
- Is that what this is?
- Yeah, exactly.
357
00:15:04,336 --> 00:15:07,237
- A big storm warning?
- I'm Babe Ruth calling the shot.
358
00:15:07,273 --> 00:15:09,764
All right. Oh, there's your
friend Ted Danson.
359
00:15:09,808 --> 00:15:12,242
Ted Danson?
360
00:15:12,278 --> 00:15:14,439
No, he's over there.
361
00:15:18,584 --> 00:15:20,108
- Is that weird?
- It was great.
362
00:15:20,152 --> 00:15:21,813
Yeah, it's really weird.
363
00:15:23,289 --> 00:15:24,847
I'll be right back.
364
00:15:27,626 --> 00:15:29,753
- You're... you're kidding.
- To the Vineyard?
365
00:15:29,795 --> 00:15:31,786
- Yeah.
- Yeah, you could. You could.
366
00:15:31,830 --> 00:15:33,991
- Hey, Larry.
- Hi.
367
00:15:34,033 --> 00:15:36,467
- Hi, Lar.
- Hey, buddy.
368
00:15:36,502 --> 00:15:39,665
- Are you having a nice time?
- Yes, thank you so much.
369
00:15:39,705 --> 00:15:41,935
- Thank you, buddy.
- I find it a little odd,
370
00:15:41,974 --> 00:15:43,874
frankly,
371
00:15:43,909 --> 00:15:47,470
that I got you this
372
00:15:47,513 --> 00:15:49,606
$300 gift certificate
to the restaurant...
373
00:15:51,216 --> 00:15:54,014
and you chose
to take them and not me.
374
00:15:54,053 --> 00:15:56,385
But if we took you,
375
00:15:56,422 --> 00:16:00,119
wouldn't that be you
giving a gift to yourself?
376
00:16:00,159 --> 00:16:02,024
- No, not really.
- You somehow...
377
00:16:02,061 --> 00:16:04,757
No, I gave you a gift
and I just think that
378
00:16:04,797 --> 00:16:06,628
the nice thing to do
would have been
379
00:16:06,665 --> 00:16:08,826
"Hey, you know what?
Why don't you come with us?"
380
00:16:08,867 --> 00:16:11,495
Was there a stipulation
on the gift certificate,
381
00:16:11,537 --> 00:16:13,971
- "$300 plus take me"?
- No. No,
382
00:16:14,006 --> 00:16:15,871
but don't you feel
a little bit funny that you're
383
00:16:15,908 --> 00:16:17,773
- eating dinner under... it's my money?
- Not at all.
384
00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:20,438
- I paid for your gift.
- What, have you got a beef with me now?
385
00:16:20,479 --> 00:16:22,106
- Yeah?
- I've got a side beef with you.
386
00:16:22,147 --> 00:16:23,808
- I've got a beef with him.
- You know what?
387
00:16:23,849 --> 00:16:26,010
- We've had a really nice fun night...
- Do me a favor.
388
00:16:26,051 --> 00:16:28,281
...which is more than we would've
had if we'd brought you.
389
00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:29,787
From now on don't get us a gift.
No more gifts.
390
00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:31,483
At least I got you
a gift, okay?
391
00:16:31,523 --> 00:16:33,491
I didn't have my daughter
go up and sing a song.
392
00:16:33,525 --> 00:16:35,390
- What the hell does that mean, Larry?
- Oh, come on now.
393
00:16:35,427 --> 00:16:38,055
- Is that supposed to be a gift?
- Yes, that was a gift from the heart.
394
00:16:38,097 --> 00:16:39,496
- That is not a gift.
- And you know what?
395
00:16:39,531 --> 00:16:41,362
You had no right
to shut her up.
396
00:16:41,400 --> 00:16:43,732
- That was mean. That was cruel.
- It was horrible.
397
00:16:43,769 --> 00:16:47,432
- It was over the line.
- Her self-esteem is down the toilet.
398
00:16:47,473 --> 00:16:49,771
I'm sorry about that,
but it had nothing to do with her.
399
00:16:49,808 --> 00:16:52,276
I just... I can't stand the sound
of the human voice.
400
00:16:52,311 --> 00:16:54,643
You can't stand the sound
of the human voice?!
401
00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:56,147
What are you talking about?
402
00:16:56,181 --> 00:16:58,741
My father used to sing in the house
all the time. I couldn't take it.
403
00:16:58,784 --> 00:17:01,048
And to this day,
any singing around me...
404
00:17:01,086 --> 00:17:03,646
- You're full of it.
- Bullshit. Bullshit.
405
00:17:03,689 --> 00:17:05,520
It's bullshit.
He's making it up.
406
00:17:05,557 --> 00:17:07,548
I'm not making it up.
This happens to be the truth.
407
00:17:07,593 --> 00:17:09,959
- I've never heard this about you, ever.
- Yeah.
408
00:17:09,995 --> 00:17:12,759
I'm sorry about that.
409
00:17:25,110 --> 00:17:26,907
Hey hey hey.
Hey hey.
410
00:17:26,945 --> 00:17:29,004
That's okay.
We've got it. We've got it.
411
00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:30,879
We've got it.
We're good. Hey.
412
00:17:30,916 --> 00:17:33,043
We're good.
We're good.
413
00:17:33,085 --> 00:17:35,053
Pipe it down.
We're good. We're good.
414
00:17:35,087 --> 00:17:37,885
That's okay. Lock it up.
Lock it up. We're good.
415
00:17:37,923 --> 00:17:39,754
Very good.
It was very good.
416
00:17:39,792 --> 00:17:42,056
Honestly. Very good. Yeah.
417
00:17:42,094 --> 00:17:44,426
Yeah, we're... we're eating now.
418
00:17:44,463 --> 00:17:47,523
We're eating.
We can't listen now.
419
00:17:47,566 --> 00:17:50,296
Come on. Right, people?
420
00:17:50,335 --> 00:17:52,735
Huh? While we're eating?
We don't...
421
00:17:52,771 --> 00:17:54,898
we don't need that.
Come on.
422
00:18:03,449 --> 00:18:05,940
Damn it.
423
00:18:13,459 --> 00:18:15,950
Hey, would you mind
switching sides?
424
00:18:17,229 --> 00:18:20,562
Switch si... sides?
Uh, okay.
425
00:18:20,599 --> 00:18:22,089
- Okay.
- I kinda prefer that side.
426
00:18:22,134 --> 00:18:23,396
- Oh. All right.
- Yeah.
427
00:18:23,435 --> 00:18:25,403
Oh, here, you... you go.
428
00:18:25,437 --> 00:18:27,496
- Thanks.
- Better?
429
00:18:27,539 --> 00:18:29,234
- Much better.
- All good?
430
00:18:29,274 --> 00:18:30,969
You're so agreeable.
I really love that about you.
431
00:18:31,009 --> 00:18:32,533
Aren't I?
Thanks.
432
00:18:45,057 --> 00:18:47,389
What's going on here?
433
00:18:47,426 --> 00:18:49,917
Oh, damn it.
434
00:18:56,168 --> 00:18:58,568
- Do you want some pie?
- Pie?
435
00:18:58,604 --> 00:19:01,129
Oh my God, it's delicious.
436
00:19:01,173 --> 00:19:03,164
- Mmm.
- Oh.
437
00:19:03,208 --> 00:19:05,005
- This is so good.
- Really?
438
00:19:05,043 --> 00:19:07,011
I made it.
Do you want some?
439
00:19:07,045 --> 00:19:09,240
- You made it?
- Yeah, I took a dessert class.
440
00:19:09,281 --> 00:19:11,613
It is delicious
and I'm not kidding.
441
00:19:11,650 --> 00:19:13,845
All right, I'll try it.
442
00:19:13,886 --> 00:19:15,547
- Have it. It's good. Honestly.
- Okay, fine.
443
00:19:15,587 --> 00:19:17,487
- All right.
- Sorry.
444
00:19:17,523 --> 00:19:19,548
What is it?
What kind?
445
00:19:19,591 --> 00:19:21,559
Oh, shit.
446
00:19:21,593 --> 00:19:24,061
It's my boyfriend.
You've got to be quiet.
447
00:19:24,096 --> 00:19:26,564
What are you talking... you didn't
tell me you had a boyfriend.
448
00:19:26,598 --> 00:19:29,089
Hello?
What's going on?
449
00:19:29,134 --> 00:19:30,965
Uh... oh, nothing.
450
00:19:31,003 --> 00:19:33,528
You know, I was
just hanging out,
451
00:19:33,572 --> 00:19:35,540
- not really doing anything actually.
- Ah!
452
00:19:35,574 --> 00:19:39,066
- Oh, Wow! Wow!
- Oh! Oh!
453
00:19:39,111 --> 00:19:41,272
Oh, God.
No no, I'm watching TV.
454
00:19:41,313 --> 00:19:43,110
It's like on the Discovery Channel.
455
00:19:43,148 --> 00:19:45,207
Why don't we talk
about it tomorrow?
456
00:19:45,250 --> 00:19:48,742
Oh. Oh, you are.
457
00:19:48,787 --> 00:19:52,086
Then I'll... I'll see you
in a minute. Okay. Bye.
458
00:19:52,124 --> 00:19:53,853
Fuck.
459
00:19:53,892 --> 00:19:55,450
- You've gotta go.
- What?
460
00:19:55,494 --> 00:19:56,688
My boyfriend's coming over.
461
00:19:56,728 --> 00:19:58,195
You didn't tell me
you had a boyfriend.
462
00:19:58,230 --> 00:19:59,720
It didn't come up.
You didn't ask me.
463
00:19:59,765 --> 00:20:01,255
Well, it should've
come up. No?
464
00:20:01,300 --> 00:20:02,995
Listen. You've gotta go
465
00:20:03,035 --> 00:20:05,128
'cause this will suck...
seriously... for me.
466
00:20:05,170 --> 00:20:07,434
- Do you like him?
- Larry, you've got to go.
467
00:20:07,472 --> 00:20:09,133
L... I can't get into this now.
468
00:20:09,174 --> 00:20:10,732
- Did I leave anything here?
- Hello? No, you're fine.
469
00:20:10,776 --> 00:20:11,936
You've got to go.
Larry, please.
470
00:20:11,977 --> 00:20:13,774
He will not understand
this situation.
471
00:20:13,812 --> 00:20:15,370
Yeah, I don't understand
the situation.
472
00:20:15,414 --> 00:20:17,177
He will kill me. He will kill you.
We can talk about it later.
473
00:20:17,216 --> 00:20:19,116
- Kill me? Is he a big guy?
- You don't want to find out.
474
00:20:22,054 --> 00:20:24,181
I'm not kidding.
The food was just awful.
475
00:20:24,223 --> 00:20:27,659
Terrible. Honestly, I can't even
believe you recommended that.
476
00:20:27,693 --> 00:20:29,320
Well, I liked the osso buco.
477
00:20:29,361 --> 00:20:31,886
It didn't taste like osso buco to me.
It was bad osso buco.
478
00:20:31,930 --> 00:20:34,364
It'd be hard to find a better
osso buco than that.
479
00:20:34,399 --> 00:20:36,765
Ah. Anyway, I'm sorry
about the call again.
480
00:20:36,802 --> 00:20:38,463
It was a complete accident.
481
00:20:38,503 --> 00:20:41,495
You know who never makes
a mistake like that? My service.
482
00:20:41,540 --> 00:20:43,337
- Really? Interesting.
- That's right.
483
00:20:43,375 --> 00:20:45,343
- Please don't call again.
- Okay, but like I said,
484
00:20:45,377 --> 00:20:47,607
it was a wrong number.
I did not intend to call you.
485
00:20:47,646 --> 00:20:49,443
Well, perhaps,
but it was intrusive.
486
00:20:49,481 --> 00:20:51,574
You have a beautiful home,
by the way.
487
00:20:51,617 --> 00:20:53,983
How do you know that?
488
00:20:54,019 --> 00:20:56,647
Your assistant gave me your info when
I asked for your home phone number.
489
00:20:56,688 --> 00:20:59,350
You're right in my neighborhood.
You're right up the street.
490
00:20:59,391 --> 00:21:01,416
You're the house on the corner
with that trellis...
491
00:21:01,460 --> 00:21:02,791
- what do you call it, an arbor?
- An arbor.
492
00:21:02,828 --> 00:21:04,728
Arbor. Yeah, you've got
the arbor in the front.
493
00:21:04,763 --> 00:21:07,823
- I know that house.
- You know, I'm a little uncomfortable
494
00:21:07,866 --> 00:21:10,801
- with you having all this information.
- What am I gonna do?
495
00:21:10,836 --> 00:21:13,100
There should be a little more
openness in the doctor business.
496
00:21:13,138 --> 00:21:14,935
Everything is
so confidential, you know?
497
00:21:14,973 --> 00:21:17,999
I have too many patients. I don't want
them all to have my information.
498
00:21:18,043 --> 00:21:19,806
Well, I'm the only one who has it.
499
00:21:19,845 --> 00:21:21,335
Well, don't call,
don't knock on the door...
500
00:21:21,380 --> 00:21:23,541
- Oh yeah.
...but you're welcome here any time
501
00:21:23,582 --> 00:21:25,379
- you have a problem.
- Oh, thank you, thank you.
502
00:21:25,417 --> 00:21:27,908
So what do you think
we should do about the hand?
503
00:21:27,953 --> 00:21:29,944
There are two ways
to go with the hand:
504
00:21:29,988 --> 00:21:32,422
Put a bandage on;
not put a bandage on.
505
00:21:32,457 --> 00:21:34,823
In my opinion, it'd be better
to leave it open.
506
00:21:34,860 --> 00:21:37,954
Well, are you the same person
507
00:21:37,996 --> 00:21:40,487
who recommended that restaurant
with the osso buco?
508
00:21:40,532 --> 00:21:42,193
I don't quite see the connection.
509
00:21:42,234 --> 00:21:45,431
Well, your restaurant
recommendation was so awful,
510
00:21:45,470 --> 00:21:48,633
I just don't see how I can trust
your medical recommendation.
511
00:21:48,674 --> 00:21:50,335
They're different.
512
00:21:50,375 --> 00:21:52,275
Not to me.
513
00:21:52,311 --> 00:21:55,007
- Wrap it up.
- You want it wrapped up?
514
00:21:55,047 --> 00:21:57,845
- Yeah.
- All right, Doctor. Whatever you say.
515
00:22:07,993 --> 00:22:10,052
- Hello?
- Larry? Hi, it's Mary Jane.
516
00:22:10,095 --> 00:22:12,086
Oh, hey, can I call you back?
I'm exercising.
517
00:22:12,130 --> 00:22:14,724
Uh, no, you know,
my friend...
518
00:22:14,766 --> 00:22:16,961
he found your bandage
in the garbage can here
519
00:22:17,002 --> 00:22:18,697
and he knows it's you.
He knows you were here.
520
00:22:18,737 --> 00:22:20,671
- What?
- Yeah, it was really horrible.
521
00:22:20,706 --> 00:22:22,901
I kind of freaked out
and I ended up giving him
522
00:22:22,941 --> 00:22:24,841
your... your phone number
and your address.
523
00:22:24,876 --> 00:22:26,810
Are you crazy?!
What did you do that for?
524
00:22:26,845 --> 00:22:28,210
I know, I'm sorry.
It's crazy,
525
00:22:28,246 --> 00:22:29,907
but he just...
he just wore me down.
526
00:22:29,948 --> 00:22:31,813
It was so horrible,
527
00:22:31,850 --> 00:22:34,444
and he's on his way
to your house right now.
528
00:22:34,486 --> 00:22:36,147
Oh my.
529
00:22:41,893 --> 00:22:43,918
Oh, shit.
530
00:23:07,819 --> 00:23:10,344
Hi, Dr. Morrison.
I'm so sorry to bother you.
531
00:23:10,389 --> 00:23:12,823
Honestly... somebody's after me.
They're at my house.
532
00:23:12,858 --> 00:23:14,416
I didn't know what to do!
533
00:23:14,459 --> 00:23:17,622
I was running
and I saw your house.
534
00:23:17,662 --> 00:23:19,630
Mr. David, what the hell
are you doing here?
535
00:23:19,664 --> 00:23:21,359
I'm... I'm telling you...
I just need a place to stay.
536
00:23:21,400 --> 00:23:24,062
If I could just stay here for a while,
spend the night.
537
00:23:24,102 --> 00:23:26,969
- Well, you can't... spend the night?
- I'll go in the guest room.
538
00:23:27,005 --> 00:23:28,734
I'll close the door.
You won't even know I'm here!
539
00:23:28,774 --> 00:23:31,106
I'm sitting here having a nice
quiet night with my wife,
540
00:23:31,143 --> 00:23:33,907
we're having a glass of wine,
and you bust in here saying
541
00:23:33,945 --> 00:23:36,573
- you want to stay here all night?!
- Hello. I'm so sorry.
542
00:23:36,615 --> 00:23:39,015
Please please please
don't involve Mrs. Morrison.
543
00:23:39,050 --> 00:23:41,041
I'm not involving her.
You have a lovely home by the way.
544
00:23:41,086 --> 00:23:42,986
- Thank you.
- Lovely. I love that print.
545
00:23:43,021 --> 00:23:44,818
And I think it's
a little provocative,
546
00:23:44,856 --> 00:23:46,790
coming in here like this
in front of my wife
547
00:23:46,825 --> 00:23:48,986
with no pants on! You should
go home and get dressed.
548
00:23:49,027 --> 00:23:51,018
I was running out!
I ran out of the house.
549
00:23:51,062 --> 00:23:52,620
I give you my phone number,
you call me.
550
00:23:52,664 --> 00:23:55,098
You drive by my house.
Now you're in my house?
551
00:23:55,133 --> 00:23:57,465
How about if I just hang out here?
I'll sit on the steps.
552
00:23:57,502 --> 00:23:59,470
What, all night?
Sit on the steps?
553
00:23:59,504 --> 00:24:01,597
- I can't go out there!
- My family is here!
554
00:24:01,640 --> 00:24:03,870
Do you mind if I stay
on the steps, Mrs. Morrison?
555
00:24:03,909 --> 00:24:06,173
No no, Mrs. Morrison does...
you're not staying on the steps.
556
00:24:06,211 --> 00:24:08,509
You know, you're a doctor.
You're sending me out to get hurt.
557
00:24:08,547 --> 00:24:09,912
What about the Hippocratic Oath?
558
00:24:09,948 --> 00:24:11,848
When you're hurt, come back
and I'll treat you.
559
00:24:11,883 --> 00:24:13,851
- Go home, Mr. David!
- Do you agree with this?
560
00:24:13,885 --> 00:24:15,716
- You say you only live...
- Do you agree with this?
561
00:24:15,754 --> 00:24:17,779
Please! Don't bring
Mrs. Morrison into this.
562
00:24:17,823 --> 00:24:19,688
- Fine.
- And you ought to put some pants on.
563
00:24:19,724 --> 00:24:21,919
You know what? You're going to be
getting a call from me soon...
564
00:24:21,960 --> 00:24:23,985
an emergency call.
I have your home phone number.
565
00:24:24,029 --> 00:24:26,224
- I'll to be making an emergency call!
- Call my service!
566
00:24:26,264 --> 00:24:27,856
I'm calling an emergency call to you!
567
00:24:27,899 --> 00:24:29,867
Don't call me and I'll call you!
568
00:24:45,116 --> 00:24:47,914
I'm so happy you're home. You've got
to let me come in and spend the night.
569
00:24:47,953 --> 00:24:49,921
Somebody's chasing me.
There's a guy after me.
570
00:24:49,955 --> 00:24:51,855
I swear to God!
I'm not making it up!
571
00:24:51,890 --> 00:24:54,688
- What are you wearing?
- What? I'm wearing shorts.
572
00:24:54,726 --> 00:24:57,593
- That's disgusting.
- I workout in shorts. I'm sorry.
573
00:24:57,629 --> 00:25:00,598
You know something?
You really disappointed me last night.
574
00:25:00,632 --> 00:25:02,930
That sweet guy trying
to sing a song...
575
00:25:02,968 --> 00:25:05,903
you absolutely destroyed
his confidence. You know that?
576
00:25:05,937 --> 00:25:07,768
He can't sing
anymore because of you.
577
00:25:07,806 --> 00:25:11,401
Well, I'll... you know,
I'll talk to him.
578
00:25:11,443 --> 00:25:13,035
- Talk to him?
- I will. I will.
579
00:25:13,078 --> 00:25:14,272
Yeah, build up
his confidence after that.
580
00:25:14,312 --> 00:25:15,336
I actually will. I'll do that.
581
00:25:15,380 --> 00:25:16,472
You are a selfish motherfucker.
582
00:25:16,515 --> 00:25:17,573
- I'm selfish?
- You are.
583
00:25:17,616 --> 00:25:19,106
I buy you a fantastic gift,
584
00:25:19,150 --> 00:25:21,744
and you take Jeff Greene?
That's $150.
585
00:25:21,786 --> 00:25:23,413
- So what?
- That's my $150!
586
00:25:23,455 --> 00:25:24,945
Is that what's
bothering you? $150?
587
00:25:24,990 --> 00:25:26,582
At least I gave you a present.
I didn't have my daughter
588
00:25:26,625 --> 00:25:28,320
- sing some bullshit song...
- Here. Here's your $150.
589
00:25:28,360 --> 00:25:29,793
- Take your $150...
...and not be able to carry a tune!
590
00:25:29,828 --> 00:25:32,854
...and go buy yourself some
fucking pants, will you?
591
00:25:46,645 --> 00:25:48,738
- Hey, I'm so glad you're home.
- Hey.
592
00:25:48,780 --> 00:25:50,372
Mary Jane Porter's
boyfriend is after me.
593
00:25:50,415 --> 00:25:52,144
- What's going on?
- I need to spend the night here!
594
00:25:52,183 --> 00:25:54,014
I won't bother you.
I won't even use the kitchen!
595
00:25:54,052 --> 00:25:55,451
I swear to you I'll just stay
in the guest room.
596
00:25:55,487 --> 00:25:57,421
- Please. Come on.
- All right, all right.
597
00:25:57,455 --> 00:25:58,752
- Come on in.
- Put something on.
598
00:25:58,790 --> 00:26:00,155
I don't want to have
to look at this.
599
00:26:13,805 --> 00:26:17,297
Jesus. Shut up!
600
00:26:17,342 --> 00:26:19,867
What the fuck?
Shut the fuck up!
601
00:26:19,911 --> 00:26:22,778
Shut the fuck up!
602
00:26:22,814 --> 00:26:26,375
Jesus Christ!
603
00:26:26,418 --> 00:26:28,852
- What the fuck?
- Mommy! I was singing
604
00:26:28,887 --> 00:26:33,187
- and Larry told me to shut the fuck up!
- He did what?!
605
00:26:33,224 --> 00:26:35,419
- Out!
- Huh? What?
606
00:26:35,460 --> 00:26:38,429
- Out! Get the hell out of my house!
- What the hell?
607
00:26:38,463 --> 00:26:41,330
You ingrate! You hurt Sammi
one more time, Larry!
608
00:26:41,366 --> 00:26:43,834
Get the fuck out
of my house, okay?!
609
00:26:43,868 --> 00:26:47,497
You squashed the spirit
of a talented young girl!
610
00:26:47,539 --> 00:26:51,441
You piece of shit!
You heartless piece of shit!
611
00:26:51,476 --> 00:26:53,000
Out!
612
00:26:56,815 --> 00:26:59,545
- I'm sorry you took it so personally...
- That's all right.
613
00:26:59,584 --> 00:27:01,552
...because it... honestly,
it really wasn't you.
614
00:27:01,586 --> 00:27:04,555
- You mean that?
- Yes, absolutely.
615
00:27:04,589 --> 00:27:07,183
- Now come on.
- Just go sing, will you, please?
616
00:27:07,225 --> 00:27:10,820
- Okay. Okay. Thanks.
- Okay.
617
00:27:16,201 --> 00:27:18,192
- What the...
- What are you doing?
618
00:27:20,939 --> 00:27:24,340
- What are you doing here?
- I had to go talk to that singer.
619
00:27:24,376 --> 00:27:26,571
- What are you doing here?
- Uh, listen.
620
00:27:26,611 --> 00:27:28,704
I'm meeting Christian Slater
and his girlfriend here
621
00:27:28,747 --> 00:27:31,511
and my boyfriend's
in the bathroom right now.
622
00:27:31,549 --> 00:27:34,609
He's gonna come out
and... you should go.
623
00:27:34,653 --> 00:27:36,484
- Don't stand there.
- But he doesn't know what I look like.
624
00:27:36,521 --> 00:27:39,149
- Go go go go.
- Yeah, but...
625
00:27:39,190 --> 00:27:41,351
I know.
626
00:27:41,393 --> 00:27:44,089
- Oh, whoa, I'm sorry.
- Oh. Sorry. I'm sorry.
627
00:27:44,129 --> 00:27:47,030
Oh, wait, are you
Larry David?
628
00:27:49,067 --> 00:27:51,092
No. Nuh-uh.
629
00:27:51,136 --> 00:27:52,728
- No. No.
- What?
630
00:27:53,872 --> 00:27:55,430
Hey hey! Excuse me.
Hey hey!
631
00:27:55,473 --> 00:27:57,236
Hey hey! Hey!
632
00:28:14,793 --> 00:28:17,523
You're not looking for Larry David
by any chance, are you?
633
00:28:17,562 --> 00:28:18,961
Yeah, I am.
634
00:28:20,065 --> 00:28:22,727
Thank you.
Thanks, man. Hey!
50778
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.