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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:23,857 --> 00:00:27,759 Let me, uh... let me give you a little tip, okay? 2 00:00:27,794 --> 00:00:30,729 - Mm-hmm. - For traveling... a traveling tip. 3 00:00:32,065 --> 00:00:34,056 Try not to wear shorts. 4 00:00:34,100 --> 00:00:37,126 It's not all that attractive to look at for five hours. 5 00:00:37,170 --> 00:00:38,933 - Are you kidding? - Honestly. No, I'm not. 6 00:00:38,972 --> 00:00:40,701 - I wear these on every flight... - Really? 7 00:00:40,740 --> 00:00:42,037 ...'cause it's very comfortable. - Yes. Yeah. 8 00:00:42,075 --> 00:00:44,066 These planes, if you notice, get very hot. 9 00:00:44,110 --> 00:00:46,908 - Ah. Yes, they do. - I didn't see where I had to check 10 00:00:46,946 --> 00:00:49,039 with the person I'm sitting next to what I should wear. 11 00:00:49,082 --> 00:00:51,380 I'm comfortable in pajamas, but I don't wear pajamas on a plane. 12 00:00:51,418 --> 00:00:53,352 I like to sing. I like to whistle. 13 00:00:53,386 --> 00:00:55,183 I like to play the bongos on my leg. 14 00:00:55,221 --> 00:00:56,916 - I like to imitate horses... - Okay. 15 00:00:56,956 --> 00:00:58,821 ...but I don't do it, okay? - All right. 16 00:00:58,858 --> 00:01:00,553 - Because there's somebody next to me. - Yeah, okay. Okay. 17 00:01:00,593 --> 00:01:03,221 Wow, you're very uptight, dude. Very uptight. 18 00:01:03,263 --> 00:01:05,629 - Uptight? I don't think it's "uptight." - It's just shorts, man. 19 00:01:05,665 --> 00:01:08,190 - You've never seen a man's legs? - Yeah, they're grotesque. 20 00:01:08,234 --> 00:01:10,361 What if they were a woman's in a skirt? 21 00:01:10,403 --> 00:01:13,099 Would you say that to her if a woman's in a skirt? 22 00:01:13,139 --> 00:01:15,539 - If they were hairy. - Okay. 23 00:01:15,575 --> 00:01:17,736 Are you ready for a hot towel? 24 00:01:25,018 --> 00:01:27,282 She must've put it in the microwave. 25 00:01:27,320 --> 00:01:30,847 Don't you think? I mean, have you ever seen anything like this is your life? 26 00:01:30,890 --> 00:01:33,154 - Huh. - Only me. Only me this happens to. 27 00:01:33,193 --> 00:01:35,684 I bet you I could sue 'em. Don't you think? 28 00:01:35,728 --> 00:01:37,389 Do I have a case? Tell me. 29 00:01:37,430 --> 00:01:39,557 - Would you testify for me? - No. 30 00:01:39,599 --> 00:01:41,260 - You wouldn't testify? - No, I wouldn't. 31 00:01:41,301 --> 00:01:42,928 I find that odd and troubling. 32 00:01:42,969 --> 00:01:45,665 Yeah, it would be hard to find a doctor who, in good conscience, 33 00:01:45,705 --> 00:01:49,471 could recommend a high-value settlement for that burn. 34 00:01:49,509 --> 00:01:52,137 Okay. I'll drop it. 35 00:01:52,178 --> 00:01:54,510 - Forget about it. - Okay. By the way, 36 00:01:54,547 --> 00:01:56,811 I am loving the music in the waiting room. 37 00:01:56,850 --> 00:01:59,580 - Oh. - The opera? Fabulous. 38 00:01:59,619 --> 00:02:01,177 I'm glad you like it. 39 00:02:01,221 --> 00:02:03,280 I got the idea from an Italian restaurant... 40 00:02:03,323 --> 00:02:05,314 a new Italian restaurant called Matteo's. 41 00:02:05,358 --> 00:02:08,327 They have live singers who do some arias 42 00:02:08,361 --> 00:02:10,261 - from various Italian operas. - No kidding? 43 00:02:10,296 --> 00:02:12,423 - Yeah yeah yeah yeah. - What a fabulous idea. 44 00:02:12,465 --> 00:02:14,399 I need to buy an anniversary gift for my friends. 45 00:02:14,434 --> 00:02:16,800 I'll bet you... that would be a good gift, would it not? 46 00:02:16,836 --> 00:02:18,895 - It'd be a great gift. - A gift certificate to this restaurant? 47 00:02:18,938 --> 00:02:20,838 Absolutely. Yeah. Do it. 48 00:02:20,874 --> 00:02:23,308 - All right. Thank you for everything. - You're welcome. 49 00:02:23,343 --> 00:02:25,777 - I'm sorry to bother you, you know. - No problem. 50 00:02:25,812 --> 00:02:28,042 - Well, should I come back? - No, you don't need to come back. 51 00:02:28,081 --> 00:02:31,346 It'll be healed before ou walk out the door. 52 00:02:31,384 --> 00:02:32,976 Okay. 53 00:02:33,019 --> 00:02:35,385 You know what? 54 00:02:35,421 --> 00:02:37,514 I was just thinking. 55 00:02:37,557 --> 00:02:40,151 I'd love to get your home phone number 56 00:02:40,193 --> 00:02:42,423 just in case of an emergency or something else 57 00:02:42,462 --> 00:02:44,225 with the hand. Who knows? Something comes up, 58 00:02:44,264 --> 00:02:47,358 - it's nice to have. - I don't give out my home phone number. 59 00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:48,890 You know, I understand all that, 60 00:02:48,935 --> 00:02:51,563 but I would feel better, you know. 61 00:02:51,604 --> 00:02:53,765 It would make me feel more secure. 62 00:02:53,806 --> 00:02:55,865 Nothing's gonna happen. I'm never gonna call. 63 00:02:55,909 --> 00:02:57,900 You know, what are the odds of something happening? Zero. 64 00:02:57,944 --> 00:03:00,105 Well, if anything happened, you can always call the service 65 00:03:00,146 --> 00:03:03,172 - and they'll contact me. - I have to deal with the middleman, 66 00:03:03,216 --> 00:03:05,411 sort of, and maybe the service isn't there. 67 00:03:05,451 --> 00:03:07,942 Why does he have the privilege of talking to you and not me? 68 00:03:07,987 --> 00:03:10,751 - I'm your patient. - You have a problem. 69 00:03:10,790 --> 00:03:13,384 You make the call. They call me, 70 00:03:13,426 --> 00:03:15,485 then I respond to you. 71 00:03:15,528 --> 00:03:17,553 It works like a charm! It works every time! 72 00:03:17,597 --> 00:03:20,862 I like the idea of having my doctor's number in my wallet. 73 00:03:20,900 --> 00:03:23,027 I don't want to be in your wallet. 74 00:03:23,069 --> 00:03:24,696 I want you in my wallet. 75 00:03:26,339 --> 00:03:29,604 - What do you think? - I'll make an exception in your case 76 00:03:29,642 --> 00:03:32,873 purely in the interests of getting on with my day. 77 00:03:32,912 --> 00:03:35,005 - Fantastic. Thanks so much. - All right. 78 00:03:35,048 --> 00:03:36,845 I do not expect you to abuse it 79 00:03:36,883 --> 00:03:39,716 and I don't want you to call me directly at home, all right? 80 00:03:39,752 --> 00:03:41,276 But if it'll make you feel better, 81 00:03:41,321 --> 00:03:44,051 get the number from my receptionist 82 00:03:44,090 --> 00:03:45,455 - on the way out. - Okay. 83 00:03:45,491 --> 00:03:47,186 - Keep it dry... - Keep it dry. 84 00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:48,717 ...and don't call. 85 00:03:53,266 --> 00:03:56,133 - Hello. - Really? 86 00:03:56,169 --> 00:03:58,103 - Wow. - Wow. 87 00:03:58,137 --> 00:04:01,732 Jeez. Mary Jane. 88 00:04:01,774 --> 00:04:03,537 - Hey. Hi. - Hi. Hi. 89 00:04:03,576 --> 00:04:05,601 - Hi. - How are you? 90 00:04:05,645 --> 00:04:07,875 - It's been awhile. - Uh, yeah. 91 00:04:07,914 --> 00:04:10,576 - Well, you look good. - So do you. 92 00:04:10,617 --> 00:04:12,778 Thank you. How are things? 93 00:04:12,819 --> 00:04:15,310 I just came from the doctor. I've got two months to live. 94 00:04:15,355 --> 00:04:16,788 - It's terrible. - Not very funny. 95 00:04:16,823 --> 00:04:18,484 Yeah, I'm trying to get women to take pity on me, 96 00:04:18,524 --> 00:04:20,151 so they'll sleep with me, you know. That's all. 97 00:04:20,193 --> 00:04:22,161 So I just tell everybody that. 98 00:04:22,195 --> 00:04:24,561 - Hmm. - So, um, 99 00:04:24,597 --> 00:04:26,656 what are you... what's your social situation? 100 00:04:26,699 --> 00:04:28,633 - Are you married? - God no. 101 00:04:28,668 --> 00:04:30,431 You regret breaking up with me though. 102 00:04:30,470 --> 00:04:32,131 You're still... you're still having nightmares about that? 103 00:04:32,171 --> 00:04:33,866 You... oh, Larry, you're the same! 104 00:04:33,906 --> 00:04:36,136 You can admit it... you made a mistake. 105 00:04:36,175 --> 00:04:38,973 We should go out. We should go out and catch up. 106 00:04:39,012 --> 00:04:40,604 - You know, that would be fantastic. - Yeah? 107 00:04:40,647 --> 00:04:42,410 - Yeah, let's do that. - What about tonight? 108 00:04:42,448 --> 00:04:46,145 Tonight I'm going to Ted Danson's anniversary party. 109 00:04:46,185 --> 00:04:49,882 Oh, yeah. Yeah, my friend Christian Slater's gonna be there. 110 00:04:49,922 --> 00:04:51,389 - Christian Slater? - Yeah. 111 00:04:51,424 --> 00:04:52,948 - He's a friend of yours? - Yeah, tell him I said hi. 112 00:04:52,992 --> 00:04:55,153 Uh, no, but I'll... I'll see him. 113 00:04:55,194 --> 00:04:58,129 - Um, how about tomorrow? - Okay. 114 00:04:58,164 --> 00:04:59,859 - We're gonna have a date? - Yeah. 115 00:04:59,899 --> 00:05:01,799 - Do you have my number? - I do. 116 00:05:01,834 --> 00:05:03,563 - You think I threw away your number? - You do not have my... 117 00:05:03,603 --> 00:05:05,901 I've got the number of every woman I've ever gone out with in my life. 118 00:05:05,938 --> 00:05:08,406 Believe me. I'm gonna see you tomorrow. 119 00:05:08,441 --> 00:05:11,001 - Yeah. - I've changed. 120 00:05:11,044 --> 00:05:13,137 - Bye. - Bye. 121 00:05:19,585 --> 00:05:21,951 Mozzarella? Nah. 122 00:05:23,656 --> 00:05:27,092 - Hey. - Hi. 123 00:05:27,126 --> 00:05:29,594 Do you remember Mary Jane Porter? 124 00:05:29,629 --> 00:05:31,324 One of my favorites. 125 00:05:31,364 --> 00:05:33,332 - I ran into her today. - How's she look? 126 00:05:33,366 --> 00:05:35,300 - Fantastic. - Really? 127 00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:37,360 - Oh my God, she's a doll. - Oh God. 128 00:05:37,403 --> 00:05:39,371 - You know? - Yeah. Why'd she go out with you? 129 00:05:39,405 --> 00:05:41,464 I don't know why she went out with me. 130 00:05:41,507 --> 00:05:43,407 I don't know. That's a good question. 131 00:05:43,443 --> 00:05:45,308 - A big bowl of out of your league. - Way out of my league. 132 00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:47,472 - Huge time. - Well, that's why she got rid of me. 133 00:05:47,513 --> 00:05:49,481 - Yeah. Really? - Well, I was so desperate. 134 00:05:49,515 --> 00:05:51,449 She could sense the insecurity. 135 00:05:51,484 --> 00:05:54,078 - They pick up on it. - Instantly. 136 00:05:54,120 --> 00:05:56,054 - I'm seeing her tomorrow night. - Really? 137 00:05:56,089 --> 00:05:57,522 Yeah. She asked me. 138 00:05:57,557 --> 00:06:00,048 Maybe she's got the desperation this time. 139 00:06:00,093 --> 00:06:01,720 - Hopefully. - Hopefully. 140 00:06:01,761 --> 00:06:04,093 It's a lot easier to work with their desperation than mine. 141 00:06:04,130 --> 00:06:06,189 - Let me ask you a question. Sexually... - Yeah. Yeah. 142 00:06:06,232 --> 00:06:08,200 ...can I pick up where I left off with her? 143 00:06:08,234 --> 00:06:10,099 Absolutely. You put in your time. 144 00:06:10,136 --> 00:06:12,070 I mean, it's like 15 years later, but... 145 00:06:12,105 --> 00:06:13,868 Everything you've done before counts. 146 00:06:13,906 --> 00:06:15,601 Yes. I don't know... 147 00:06:15,641 --> 00:06:18,109 in terms of unhooking bras, I'm really gonna be in trouble. 148 00:06:18,144 --> 00:06:20,669 - Look at this? - Why don't you use your right hand? 149 00:06:20,713 --> 00:06:23,147 I'm... I'm a lefty unhooker. I can't unhook righty. 150 00:06:23,182 --> 00:06:25,776 It's from the car, I think, when you park. 151 00:06:25,818 --> 00:06:27,911 - Right. - Making out in the driver's seat, 152 00:06:27,954 --> 00:06:30,286 you lean over, it's your left hand that's doing the unhooking. 153 00:06:30,323 --> 00:06:31,813 You get used to the left. It's like the one thing 154 00:06:31,858 --> 00:06:33,758 if you're a righty that you do with your left hand with skill. 155 00:06:33,793 --> 00:06:36,125 - That's true. - So what's going on with Cheryl? 156 00:06:36,162 --> 00:06:38,130 Hopefully we can cast her in this thing 157 00:06:38,164 --> 00:06:39,995 and see what happens. 158 00:06:40,032 --> 00:06:42,364 What about the whole Meg Ryan situation? 159 00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:43,994 Oh, it's gonna... it's gonna be about Jerry. 160 00:06:44,036 --> 00:06:47,062 - Yeah. - I've just gotta convince Jerry 161 00:06:47,106 --> 00:06:49,574 to use Cheryl, 'cause if I cast her... 162 00:06:49,609 --> 00:06:51,804 then I think I'll have a shot. 163 00:06:51,844 --> 00:06:53,778 - I think it's a great plan. - In the meantime, 164 00:06:53,813 --> 00:06:55,303 I'm allowed to have some fun, right? 165 00:06:55,348 --> 00:06:56,872 Please! Why not? 166 00:06:56,916 --> 00:06:58,816 Mary Jane Porter asking you. 167 00:06:58,851 --> 00:07:00,546 Hey, what did you get Ted and Mary? 168 00:07:00,586 --> 00:07:03,282 Susie gets all the gifts. No idea. 169 00:07:03,322 --> 00:07:06,120 - Hello! - Seriously, though... 170 00:07:06,159 --> 00:07:08,457 - Lar! I didn't see you come in. - Hey! 171 00:07:08,494 --> 00:07:11,657 - Hey, buddy. That's sweet of you. - Hey, congratulations. 172 00:07:11,697 --> 00:07:15,155 - Thank you, thank you. - And look what I got. 173 00:07:15,201 --> 00:07:16,668 Dee-dah! What is that? 174 00:07:16,702 --> 00:07:19,637 - It's a present. - Oh my God. 175 00:07:19,672 --> 00:07:22,800 - Ho! Larry. - Lar! 176 00:07:22,842 --> 00:07:24,366 - What? - Oh my God. 177 00:07:24,410 --> 00:07:28,369 A $300 gift certificate to Matteo's restaurant. 178 00:07:28,414 --> 00:07:30,405 Have you been there? It's supposed to be great. 179 00:07:30,450 --> 00:07:32,941 Are you sure you wanna give that much? 180 00:07:32,985 --> 00:07:34,976 I can't believe you did that. 181 00:07:35,021 --> 00:07:36,420 What? Why are you so surprised? 182 00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:37,946 No, it's just, you know, the last... 183 00:07:37,990 --> 00:07:39,981 - what was the last gift? - "The Freak Book." 184 00:07:40,026 --> 00:07:42,460 - "The Freak Book." - That was a good gift, 185 00:07:42,495 --> 00:07:43,757 - and it was expensive too. - This is great. 186 00:07:43,796 --> 00:07:44,922 I shouldn't have even brought that up. 187 00:07:44,964 --> 00:07:46,955 - I'm sorry. This is great. - No, it's really nice. 188 00:07:46,999 --> 00:07:49,331 - Thank you. Thank you. - Very very generous of you, buddy. 189 00:07:49,368 --> 00:07:52,394 - Thank you. - Oh, okay. Well, you're welcome. 190 00:07:52,438 --> 00:07:54,929 Is it a lot better than the gifts you've been getting? 191 00:07:54,974 --> 00:07:56,908 - No. - No no no. 192 00:07:56,943 --> 00:07:58,672 - Well... - It's just... 193 00:07:58,711 --> 00:08:00,542 - It's just that... - It's just... it's... 194 00:08:00,580 --> 00:08:02,445 - No, it's a great gift. Thank you. - Thank you. 195 00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:04,575 Thank you. Let me... I've gotta catch up with... 196 00:08:04,617 --> 00:08:06,778 Of course. The host has to circulate. 197 00:08:06,819 --> 00:08:09,481 - You circulate too, Lar. - L... I know. You're the big stars, 198 00:08:09,522 --> 00:08:12,013 - the hosts of the party. - There's a lot of nice women here. 199 00:08:12,058 --> 00:08:14,754 Everybody wants to talk to the hosts of course. 200 00:08:14,794 --> 00:08:17,092 I understand. "Oh, I'm the host. 201 00:08:17,129 --> 00:08:19,723 Hello, I'm the host of the party." 202 00:08:19,765 --> 00:08:21,995 - Hey. - Hey, LD. How are you, man? 203 00:08:22,034 --> 00:08:24,696 Good. You know, I ran into a friend of yours today. 204 00:08:24,737 --> 00:08:26,705 - Who's that? - Mary... Mary Jane Porter. 205 00:08:26,739 --> 00:08:29,902 - Mmm! I love her. She's great. - Mmm. 206 00:08:31,077 --> 00:08:33,102 Jesus Christ. 207 00:08:33,145 --> 00:08:35,841 - What? - Really going to town on that caviar. 208 00:08:35,882 --> 00:08:38,112 It's the best caviar they could possibly get. 209 00:08:38,150 --> 00:08:40,243 It's unbelievable. What do you think I'm gonna do, pass this up? 210 00:08:40,286 --> 00:08:43,187 I think you're going over your allotment a little bit. No? 211 00:08:43,222 --> 00:08:44,746 - My allotment? - You know, 212 00:08:44,790 --> 00:08:47,088 we're each entitled to take a certain amount 213 00:08:47,126 --> 00:08:50,220 so everybody else can have a little bit too. 214 00:08:50,263 --> 00:08:52,561 - Umm. - It feels like you're going over. 215 00:08:52,598 --> 00:08:54,395 Just an observation. Not a big deal. 216 00:08:54,433 --> 00:08:56,333 - Okay. - Just something I'm observing. 217 00:08:56,369 --> 00:08:59,566 It's good that you're here to patrol the hors d'oeuvres area. 218 00:08:59,605 --> 00:09:01,095 - Yeah. - Okay. 219 00:09:01,140 --> 00:09:03,574 We have unwritten laws in this society. 220 00:09:03,609 --> 00:09:06,669 If I'm talking to somebody and they said their friend has cancer, 221 00:09:06,712 --> 00:09:08,737 I go "Oh. Oh. Oh." 222 00:09:08,781 --> 00:09:11,147 Even though I don't know the person, I'll go "Oh." 223 00:09:11,183 --> 00:09:12,844 You know, it's an unwritten law. 224 00:09:12,885 --> 00:09:14,375 You do something like that. 225 00:09:14,420 --> 00:09:16,388 - Mmm. Okay. - It's a nice thing to do. 226 00:09:16,422 --> 00:09:18,583 What you should be doing here is you take a little bit, 227 00:09:18,624 --> 00:09:21,787 then you step away for 20 minutes, see what kind of action there is. 228 00:09:21,827 --> 00:09:23,351 - Oh. - If nobody's taking any, 229 00:09:23,396 --> 00:09:25,762 maybe take a little bit more, step away again. 230 00:09:25,798 --> 00:09:27,663 - So forth and so on. - Okay, look. 231 00:09:27,700 --> 00:09:30,601 Let me just scoop a little more on here 232 00:09:30,636 --> 00:09:34,128 and I'm gonna step away then. 233 00:09:34,173 --> 00:09:36,300 - Wow. - Enjoy the party. 234 00:09:36,342 --> 00:09:38,776 - Okay. All right. - Always good to see you. 235 00:09:40,079 --> 00:09:42,172 Larry, did you eat all that caviar? 236 00:09:42,214 --> 00:09:45,081 - Huh? No. - Why would you do that? 237 00:09:45,117 --> 00:09:47,312 I mean, everybody knows you take a little, right? 238 00:09:47,353 --> 00:09:49,844 - Hey, it wasn't me. - Then who was it? 239 00:09:49,889 --> 00:09:52,858 Christian Slater was eating gobfuls of it. 240 00:09:52,892 --> 00:09:54,450 - I hate that. - I couldn't even look at it. 241 00:09:54,493 --> 00:09:56,017 That's... 242 00:09:56,062 --> 00:09:57,927 - So inconsiderate, no? - It's an unwritten rule. 243 00:09:57,964 --> 00:09:59,829 - You take your... - Unwritten rule, exactly. 244 00:09:59,865 --> 00:10:01,594 Can I have everyone's attention, please? 245 00:10:01,634 --> 00:10:03,727 Ted and Mary, our gracious hosts... 246 00:10:03,769 --> 00:10:07,102 happy anniversary to an incredible couple. 247 00:10:07,139 --> 00:10:08,663 We didn't know what to get you. 248 00:10:08,708 --> 00:10:10,300 You clearly have everything. 249 00:10:10,343 --> 00:10:12,106 We're not gonna get you a toaster or a blender, 250 00:10:12,144 --> 00:10:16,342 so our incredibly talented daughter Sammi, 251 00:10:16,382 --> 00:10:20,512 as our gift to you, is gonna sing a special song. 252 00:10:20,553 --> 00:10:23,716 - Oh, that's so sweet. - Let's have a nice round of applause. 253 00:10:23,756 --> 00:10:27,055 - That's a gift? Are you kidding? - Sammi is gonna sing. 254 00:10:27,093 --> 00:10:28,822 - Let's hear it for Sammi. - How is that a gift? 255 00:10:36,068 --> 00:10:38,036 Oh my God. 256 00:10:50,916 --> 00:10:52,884 Are you kidding me? 257 00:10:52,918 --> 00:10:54,715 Are you kidding? 258 00:10:54,754 --> 00:10:56,813 It's the worst thing I've ever heard in my life. 259 00:10:58,090 --> 00:10:59,682 All right. Okay. 260 00:10:59,725 --> 00:11:02,057 All right. Okay. That's good. That's good. 261 00:11:02,094 --> 00:11:03,857 - Very good! That was wonderful. - What are you doing? 262 00:11:03,896 --> 00:11:05,659 - What are you doing? - Very good talent. 263 00:11:05,698 --> 00:11:07,325 - I'm not... I'm not done. - No no no no, that was terrific. 264 00:11:07,366 --> 00:11:08,560 No no, she's not done. What are you doing? 265 00:11:08,601 --> 00:11:09,693 That was very good. Very good. 266 00:11:09,735 --> 00:11:11,396 Why are you interrupting her, Larry? 267 00:11:11,437 --> 00:11:13,234 Why are you... she was singing the song. 268 00:11:13,272 --> 00:11:15,297 - What were you doing? - What? The song's over. 269 00:11:15,341 --> 00:11:17,832 No, the song was not over. You know the song was not over 270 00:11:17,877 --> 00:11:19,538 - and you cut her off! - I thought the song was over. 271 00:11:19,578 --> 00:11:22,513 You ruined the whole gift! That was our gift, for God's sake! 272 00:11:22,548 --> 00:11:24,539 - Oh, I thought the song was over. - Sammi, that was great. 273 00:11:24,583 --> 00:11:27,381 Let's give her a nice round of applause. That was good. 274 00:11:27,420 --> 00:11:29,786 That was good. Yeah. 275 00:11:31,223 --> 00:11:33,214 I'll tell you... that's a talented kid. 276 00:11:38,531 --> 00:11:41,591 Hey! Real nice. Real nice. 277 00:11:44,603 --> 00:11:47,936 Come... I mean, Mary is pissed at me about the caviar. 278 00:11:47,973 --> 00:11:49,907 Thanks. Thanks a lot. Thank you. 279 00:11:49,942 --> 00:11:52,274 What? What did she say? 280 00:11:52,311 --> 00:11:53,938 She said that you told her 281 00:11:53,979 --> 00:11:57,278 that I helped myself to too much caviar. 282 00:11:57,316 --> 00:12:00,149 Well, she noticed the caviar 283 00:12:00,186 --> 00:12:01,653 and asked me who ate it. 284 00:12:01,687 --> 00:12:03,450 What? What? Was I supposed to lie? 285 00:12:03,489 --> 00:12:05,787 - I was not taking too much caviar! - Oh, please. Are you kidding? 286 00:12:05,825 --> 00:12:08,623 - Who are you?! - You ate it like it was potato chips! 287 00:12:08,661 --> 00:12:10,561 It's there to be eaten, you know? 288 00:12:10,596 --> 00:12:12,996 - Not by one person! - It was out there on the table. 289 00:12:13,032 --> 00:12:15,796 - You made it your dinner. - Oh God. 290 00:12:21,540 --> 00:12:22,768 Smile. 291 00:12:25,478 --> 00:12:27,275 Hey, mind your own business. How about that? 292 00:12:28,447 --> 00:12:30,244 "Smile." 293 00:12:32,451 --> 00:12:34,817 Hello. 294 00:12:34,854 --> 00:12:39,018 - Fat boy! - What? Hello? 295 00:12:39,058 --> 00:12:42,289 - Jeff? - Umm, no. 296 00:12:42,328 --> 00:12:44,796 - No, there's no Jeff here. - Is this Dr. Morrison? 297 00:12:44,830 --> 00:12:47,355 Uh, yeah, it is. It is. Who's this? 298 00:12:47,399 --> 00:12:49,196 Oh my God! It's Larry David! 299 00:12:49,235 --> 00:12:50,964 Your patient Larry David. 300 00:12:51,003 --> 00:12:53,233 And wasn't it just a couple of days ago 301 00:12:53,272 --> 00:12:56,241 that I saw you and asked you not to call here? 302 00:12:56,275 --> 00:12:58,675 No, I wasn't calling you. I was calling Jeff Greene... 303 00:12:58,711 --> 00:13:01,544 listen... and your name is right under his 304 00:13:01,580 --> 00:13:03,377 and I must have pressed yours by accident. 305 00:13:03,415 --> 00:13:07,146 I distinctly recall asking you not to call me. 306 00:13:07,186 --> 00:13:08,676 No no, I didn't call. 307 00:13:08,721 --> 00:13:10,712 How can you say you didn't call?! 308 00:13:10,756 --> 00:13:13,748 - You did call. - I didn't call purposefully. 309 00:13:13,793 --> 00:13:17,229 - It was an accident. - An accident call is still a call. 310 00:13:17,263 --> 00:13:19,060 Technically, I called, but... 311 00:13:19,098 --> 00:13:20,963 Look. I'm in the other room 312 00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:22,797 I'm working. I had to walk in here. 313 00:13:22,835 --> 00:13:24,598 I had to pick up the phone. 314 00:13:24,637 --> 00:13:27,071 Now I'm talking to you. That's a call. 315 00:13:27,106 --> 00:13:28,733 It's a wrong number. 316 00:13:28,774 --> 00:13:30,867 You know, I don't have an hourglass set up here, 317 00:13:30,910 --> 00:13:32,810 but it's the longest wrong number 318 00:13:32,845 --> 00:13:34,369 I've ever had in my life. 319 00:13:34,413 --> 00:13:36,278 I have things to do, Mr. David. 320 00:13:36,315 --> 00:13:38,749 - Really? What are you doing? - I'm changing light bulbs 321 00:13:38,784 --> 00:13:40,809 and cleaning the cat's litter box. 322 00:13:40,853 --> 00:13:43,822 What do you do at home? Does anybody ask you what you do... 323 00:13:43,856 --> 00:13:45,187 don't ask me what I do at home. 324 00:13:45,224 --> 00:13:47,283 All right. I'm gonna hang up then. 325 00:13:47,326 --> 00:13:49,487 You don't have to tell me everything you're doing. Just hang up. 326 00:13:49,528 --> 00:13:51,519 Okay. The next time you hear from me 327 00:13:51,564 --> 00:13:53,759 will be in case of an emergency, 328 00:13:53,799 --> 00:13:55,323 and I hope you don't hear from me. 329 00:13:55,367 --> 00:13:57,335 You still have my service number. 330 00:13:57,369 --> 00:13:59,564 Call them, ask about their day. 331 00:13:59,605 --> 00:14:01,266 Don't bother me. 332 00:14:01,307 --> 00:14:04,708 - Hmm. - So did you hang up yet? 333 00:14:04,743 --> 00:14:08,736 Not yet. Should I hang up now? 334 00:14:08,781 --> 00:14:10,715 Yes, I'm going to hang up now. 335 00:14:10,749 --> 00:14:12,580 Did I mention that I'm going to the restaurant tonight? 336 00:14:12,618 --> 00:14:14,279 Goodbye. 337 00:14:16,989 --> 00:14:20,015 By the way, I'm not that impressed with the food. 338 00:14:20,059 --> 00:14:21,492 It's good. 339 00:14:21,527 --> 00:14:24,052 No, I'm having a real problem with this osso buco. 340 00:14:24,096 --> 00:14:26,223 I can't believe Dr. Morrison recommended it. It's terrible. 341 00:14:26,265 --> 00:14:29,496 - You don't like food. - What do you mean, I don't like food? 342 00:14:29,535 --> 00:14:31,560 You don't like food. Every time we've gone out, 343 00:14:31,604 --> 00:14:33,595 - you're like "I don't like this food." - No, I didn't like your food. 344 00:14:33,639 --> 00:14:35,072 - That's what... - You didn't like my food? 345 00:14:35,107 --> 00:14:37,132 Your food... come on, you were the worst cook in the world. 346 00:14:37,176 --> 00:14:38,939 - Oh, stop it. - You know that. "Stop it." 347 00:14:38,978 --> 00:14:40,946 You are the only one that thinks that. 348 00:14:40,980 --> 00:14:44,313 I think you're not a good... eater. 349 00:14:44,350 --> 00:14:47,615 - Really? You think I'm... - Yeah, you're not a good eater. 350 00:14:47,653 --> 00:14:51,953 Anyway, I'd better shut up, because I'm planning on... 351 00:14:51,991 --> 00:14:53,856 I'm planning on a big move later 352 00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:55,861 and I think I might hurt my chances 353 00:14:55,895 --> 00:14:57,829 if I keep criticizing your food. 354 00:14:57,863 --> 00:14:59,797 - You're right. - Yeah. 355 00:14:59,832 --> 00:15:02,164 A big big move. 356 00:15:02,201 --> 00:15:04,294 - Is that what this is? - Yeah, exactly. 357 00:15:04,336 --> 00:15:07,237 - A big storm warning? - I'm Babe Ruth calling the shot. 358 00:15:07,273 --> 00:15:09,764 All right. Oh, there's your friend Ted Danson. 359 00:15:09,808 --> 00:15:12,242 Ted Danson? 360 00:15:12,278 --> 00:15:14,439 No, he's over there. 361 00:15:18,584 --> 00:15:20,108 - Is that weird? - It was great. 362 00:15:20,152 --> 00:15:21,813 Yeah, it's really weird. 363 00:15:23,289 --> 00:15:24,847 I'll be right back. 364 00:15:27,626 --> 00:15:29,753 - You're... you're kidding. - To the Vineyard? 365 00:15:29,795 --> 00:15:31,786 - Yeah. - Yeah, you could. You could. 366 00:15:31,830 --> 00:15:33,991 - Hey, Larry. - Hi. 367 00:15:34,033 --> 00:15:36,467 - Hi, Lar. - Hey, buddy. 368 00:15:36,502 --> 00:15:39,665 - Are you having a nice time? - Yes, thank you so much. 369 00:15:39,705 --> 00:15:41,935 - Thank you, buddy. - I find it a little odd, 370 00:15:41,974 --> 00:15:43,874 frankly, 371 00:15:43,909 --> 00:15:47,470 that I got you this 372 00:15:47,513 --> 00:15:49,606 $300 gift certificate to the restaurant... 373 00:15:51,216 --> 00:15:54,014 and you chose to take them and not me. 374 00:15:54,053 --> 00:15:56,385 But if we took you, 375 00:15:56,422 --> 00:16:00,119 wouldn't that be you giving a gift to yourself? 376 00:16:00,159 --> 00:16:02,024 - No, not really. - You somehow... 377 00:16:02,061 --> 00:16:04,757 No, I gave you a gift and I just think that 378 00:16:04,797 --> 00:16:06,628 the nice thing to do would have been 379 00:16:06,665 --> 00:16:08,826 "Hey, you know what? Why don't you come with us?" 380 00:16:08,867 --> 00:16:11,495 Was there a stipulation on the gift certificate, 381 00:16:11,537 --> 00:16:13,971 - "$300 plus take me"? - No. No, 382 00:16:14,006 --> 00:16:15,871 but don't you feel a little bit funny that you're 383 00:16:15,908 --> 00:16:17,773 - eating dinner under... it's my money? - Not at all. 384 00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:20,438 - I paid for your gift. - What, have you got a beef with me now? 385 00:16:20,479 --> 00:16:22,106 - Yeah? - I've got a side beef with you. 386 00:16:22,147 --> 00:16:23,808 - I've got a beef with him. - You know what? 387 00:16:23,849 --> 00:16:26,010 - We've had a really nice fun night... - Do me a favor. 388 00:16:26,051 --> 00:16:28,281 ...which is more than we would've had if we'd brought you. 389 00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:29,787 From now on don't get us a gift. No more gifts. 390 00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:31,483 At least I got you a gift, okay? 391 00:16:31,523 --> 00:16:33,491 I didn't have my daughter go up and sing a song. 392 00:16:33,525 --> 00:16:35,390 - What the hell does that mean, Larry? - Oh, come on now. 393 00:16:35,427 --> 00:16:38,055 - Is that supposed to be a gift? - Yes, that was a gift from the heart. 394 00:16:38,097 --> 00:16:39,496 - That is not a gift. - And you know what? 395 00:16:39,531 --> 00:16:41,362 You had no right to shut her up. 396 00:16:41,400 --> 00:16:43,732 - That was mean. That was cruel. - It was horrible. 397 00:16:43,769 --> 00:16:47,432 - It was over the line. - Her self-esteem is down the toilet. 398 00:16:47,473 --> 00:16:49,771 I'm sorry about that, but it had nothing to do with her. 399 00:16:49,808 --> 00:16:52,276 I just... I can't stand the sound of the human voice. 400 00:16:52,311 --> 00:16:54,643 You can't stand the sound of the human voice?! 401 00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:56,147 What are you talking about? 402 00:16:56,181 --> 00:16:58,741 My father used to sing in the house all the time. I couldn't take it. 403 00:16:58,784 --> 00:17:01,048 And to this day, any singing around me... 404 00:17:01,086 --> 00:17:03,646 - You're full of it. - Bullshit. Bullshit. 405 00:17:03,689 --> 00:17:05,520 It's bullshit. He's making it up. 406 00:17:05,557 --> 00:17:07,548 I'm not making it up. This happens to be the truth. 407 00:17:07,593 --> 00:17:09,959 - I've never heard this about you, ever. - Yeah. 408 00:17:09,995 --> 00:17:12,759 I'm sorry about that. 409 00:17:25,110 --> 00:17:26,907 Hey hey hey. Hey hey. 410 00:17:26,945 --> 00:17:29,004 That's okay. We've got it. We've got it. 411 00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:30,879 We've got it. We're good. Hey. 412 00:17:30,916 --> 00:17:33,043 We're good. We're good. 413 00:17:33,085 --> 00:17:35,053 Pipe it down. We're good. We're good. 414 00:17:35,087 --> 00:17:37,885 That's okay. Lock it up. Lock it up. We're good. 415 00:17:37,923 --> 00:17:39,754 Very good. It was very good. 416 00:17:39,792 --> 00:17:42,056 Honestly. Very good. Yeah. 417 00:17:42,094 --> 00:17:44,426 Yeah, we're... we're eating now. 418 00:17:44,463 --> 00:17:47,523 We're eating. We can't listen now. 419 00:17:47,566 --> 00:17:50,296 Come on. Right, people? 420 00:17:50,335 --> 00:17:52,735 Huh? While we're eating? We don't... 421 00:17:52,771 --> 00:17:54,898 we don't need that. Come on. 422 00:18:03,449 --> 00:18:05,940 Damn it. 423 00:18:13,459 --> 00:18:15,950 Hey, would you mind switching sides? 424 00:18:17,229 --> 00:18:20,562 Switch si... sides? Uh, okay. 425 00:18:20,599 --> 00:18:22,089 - Okay. - I kinda prefer that side. 426 00:18:22,134 --> 00:18:23,396 - Oh. All right. - Yeah. 427 00:18:23,435 --> 00:18:25,403 Oh, here, you... you go. 428 00:18:25,437 --> 00:18:27,496 - Thanks. - Better? 429 00:18:27,539 --> 00:18:29,234 - Much better. - All good? 430 00:18:29,274 --> 00:18:30,969 You're so agreeable. I really love that about you. 431 00:18:31,009 --> 00:18:32,533 Aren't I? Thanks. 432 00:18:45,057 --> 00:18:47,389 What's going on here? 433 00:18:47,426 --> 00:18:49,917 Oh, damn it. 434 00:18:56,168 --> 00:18:58,568 - Do you want some pie? - Pie? 435 00:18:58,604 --> 00:19:01,129 Oh my God, it's delicious. 436 00:19:01,173 --> 00:19:03,164 - Mmm. - Oh. 437 00:19:03,208 --> 00:19:05,005 - This is so good. - Really? 438 00:19:05,043 --> 00:19:07,011 I made it. Do you want some? 439 00:19:07,045 --> 00:19:09,240 - You made it? - Yeah, I took a dessert class. 440 00:19:09,281 --> 00:19:11,613 It is delicious and I'm not kidding. 441 00:19:11,650 --> 00:19:13,845 All right, I'll try it. 442 00:19:13,886 --> 00:19:15,547 - Have it. It's good. Honestly. - Okay, fine. 443 00:19:15,587 --> 00:19:17,487 - All right. - Sorry. 444 00:19:17,523 --> 00:19:19,548 What is it? What kind? 445 00:19:19,591 --> 00:19:21,559 Oh, shit. 446 00:19:21,593 --> 00:19:24,061 It's my boyfriend. You've got to be quiet. 447 00:19:24,096 --> 00:19:26,564 What are you talking... you didn't tell me you had a boyfriend. 448 00:19:26,598 --> 00:19:29,089 Hello? What's going on? 449 00:19:29,134 --> 00:19:30,965 Uh... oh, nothing. 450 00:19:31,003 --> 00:19:33,528 You know, I was just hanging out, 451 00:19:33,572 --> 00:19:35,540 - not really doing anything actually. - Ah! 452 00:19:35,574 --> 00:19:39,066 - Oh, Wow! Wow! - Oh! Oh! 453 00:19:39,111 --> 00:19:41,272 Oh, God. No no, I'm watching TV. 454 00:19:41,313 --> 00:19:43,110 It's like on the Discovery Channel. 455 00:19:43,148 --> 00:19:45,207 Why don't we talk about it tomorrow? 456 00:19:45,250 --> 00:19:48,742 Oh. Oh, you are. 457 00:19:48,787 --> 00:19:52,086 Then I'll... I'll see you in a minute. Okay. Bye. 458 00:19:52,124 --> 00:19:53,853 Fuck. 459 00:19:53,892 --> 00:19:55,450 - You've gotta go. - What? 460 00:19:55,494 --> 00:19:56,688 My boyfriend's coming over. 461 00:19:56,728 --> 00:19:58,195 You didn't tell me you had a boyfriend. 462 00:19:58,230 --> 00:19:59,720 It didn't come up. You didn't ask me. 463 00:19:59,765 --> 00:20:01,255 Well, it should've come up. No? 464 00:20:01,300 --> 00:20:02,995 Listen. You've gotta go 465 00:20:03,035 --> 00:20:05,128 'cause this will suck... seriously... for me. 466 00:20:05,170 --> 00:20:07,434 - Do you like him? - Larry, you've got to go. 467 00:20:07,472 --> 00:20:09,133 L... I can't get into this now. 468 00:20:09,174 --> 00:20:10,732 - Did I leave anything here? - Hello? No, you're fine. 469 00:20:10,776 --> 00:20:11,936 You've got to go. Larry, please. 470 00:20:11,977 --> 00:20:13,774 He will not understand this situation. 471 00:20:13,812 --> 00:20:15,370 Yeah, I don't understand the situation. 472 00:20:15,414 --> 00:20:17,177 He will kill me. He will kill you. We can talk about it later. 473 00:20:17,216 --> 00:20:19,116 - Kill me? Is he a big guy? - You don't want to find out. 474 00:20:22,054 --> 00:20:24,181 I'm not kidding. The food was just awful. 475 00:20:24,223 --> 00:20:27,659 Terrible. Honestly, I can't even believe you recommended that. 476 00:20:27,693 --> 00:20:29,320 Well, I liked the osso buco. 477 00:20:29,361 --> 00:20:31,886 It didn't taste like osso buco to me. It was bad osso buco. 478 00:20:31,930 --> 00:20:34,364 It'd be hard to find a better osso buco than that. 479 00:20:34,399 --> 00:20:36,765 Ah. Anyway, I'm sorry about the call again. 480 00:20:36,802 --> 00:20:38,463 It was a complete accident. 481 00:20:38,503 --> 00:20:41,495 You know who never makes a mistake like that? My service. 482 00:20:41,540 --> 00:20:43,337 - Really? Interesting. - That's right. 483 00:20:43,375 --> 00:20:45,343 - Please don't call again. - Okay, but like I said, 484 00:20:45,377 --> 00:20:47,607 it was a wrong number. I did not intend to call you. 485 00:20:47,646 --> 00:20:49,443 Well, perhaps, but it was intrusive. 486 00:20:49,481 --> 00:20:51,574 You have a beautiful home, by the way. 487 00:20:51,617 --> 00:20:53,983 How do you know that? 488 00:20:54,019 --> 00:20:56,647 Your assistant gave me your info when I asked for your home phone number. 489 00:20:56,688 --> 00:20:59,350 You're right in my neighborhood. You're right up the street. 490 00:20:59,391 --> 00:21:01,416 You're the house on the corner with that trellis... 491 00:21:01,460 --> 00:21:02,791 - what do you call it, an arbor? - An arbor. 492 00:21:02,828 --> 00:21:04,728 Arbor. Yeah, you've got the arbor in the front. 493 00:21:04,763 --> 00:21:07,823 - I know that house. - You know, I'm a little uncomfortable 494 00:21:07,866 --> 00:21:10,801 - with you having all this information. - What am I gonna do? 495 00:21:10,836 --> 00:21:13,100 There should be a little more openness in the doctor business. 496 00:21:13,138 --> 00:21:14,935 Everything is so confidential, you know? 497 00:21:14,973 --> 00:21:17,999 I have too many patients. I don't want them all to have my information. 498 00:21:18,043 --> 00:21:19,806 Well, I'm the only one who has it. 499 00:21:19,845 --> 00:21:21,335 Well, don't call, don't knock on the door... 500 00:21:21,380 --> 00:21:23,541 - Oh yeah. ...but you're welcome here any time 501 00:21:23,582 --> 00:21:25,379 - you have a problem. - Oh, thank you, thank you. 502 00:21:25,417 --> 00:21:27,908 So what do you think we should do about the hand? 503 00:21:27,953 --> 00:21:29,944 There are two ways to go with the hand: 504 00:21:29,988 --> 00:21:32,422 Put a bandage on; not put a bandage on. 505 00:21:32,457 --> 00:21:34,823 In my opinion, it'd be better to leave it open. 506 00:21:34,860 --> 00:21:37,954 Well, are you the same person 507 00:21:37,996 --> 00:21:40,487 who recommended that restaurant with the osso buco? 508 00:21:40,532 --> 00:21:42,193 I don't quite see the connection. 509 00:21:42,234 --> 00:21:45,431 Well, your restaurant recommendation was so awful, 510 00:21:45,470 --> 00:21:48,633 I just don't see how I can trust your medical recommendation. 511 00:21:48,674 --> 00:21:50,335 They're different. 512 00:21:50,375 --> 00:21:52,275 Not to me. 513 00:21:52,311 --> 00:21:55,007 - Wrap it up. - You want it wrapped up? 514 00:21:55,047 --> 00:21:57,845 - Yeah. - All right, Doctor. Whatever you say. 515 00:22:07,993 --> 00:22:10,052 - Hello? - Larry? Hi, it's Mary Jane. 516 00:22:10,095 --> 00:22:12,086 Oh, hey, can I call you back? I'm exercising. 517 00:22:12,130 --> 00:22:14,724 Uh, no, you know, my friend... 518 00:22:14,766 --> 00:22:16,961 he found your bandage in the garbage can here 519 00:22:17,002 --> 00:22:18,697 and he knows it's you. He knows you were here. 520 00:22:18,737 --> 00:22:20,671 - What? - Yeah, it was really horrible. 521 00:22:20,706 --> 00:22:22,901 I kind of freaked out and I ended up giving him 522 00:22:22,941 --> 00:22:24,841 your... your phone number and your address. 523 00:22:24,876 --> 00:22:26,810 Are you crazy?! What did you do that for? 524 00:22:26,845 --> 00:22:28,210 I know, I'm sorry. It's crazy, 525 00:22:28,246 --> 00:22:29,907 but he just... he just wore me down. 526 00:22:29,948 --> 00:22:31,813 It was so horrible, 527 00:22:31,850 --> 00:22:34,444 and he's on his way to your house right now. 528 00:22:34,486 --> 00:22:36,147 Oh my. 529 00:22:41,893 --> 00:22:43,918 Oh, shit. 530 00:23:07,819 --> 00:23:10,344 Hi, Dr. Morrison. I'm so sorry to bother you. 531 00:23:10,389 --> 00:23:12,823 Honestly... somebody's after me. They're at my house. 532 00:23:12,858 --> 00:23:14,416 I didn't know what to do! 533 00:23:14,459 --> 00:23:17,622 I was running and I saw your house. 534 00:23:17,662 --> 00:23:19,630 Mr. David, what the hell are you doing here? 535 00:23:19,664 --> 00:23:21,359 I'm... I'm telling you... I just need a place to stay. 536 00:23:21,400 --> 00:23:24,062 If I could just stay here for a while, spend the night. 537 00:23:24,102 --> 00:23:26,969 - Well, you can't... spend the night? - I'll go in the guest room. 538 00:23:27,005 --> 00:23:28,734 I'll close the door. You won't even know I'm here! 539 00:23:28,774 --> 00:23:31,106 I'm sitting here having a nice quiet night with my wife, 540 00:23:31,143 --> 00:23:33,907 we're having a glass of wine, and you bust in here saying 541 00:23:33,945 --> 00:23:36,573 - you want to stay here all night?! - Hello. I'm so sorry. 542 00:23:36,615 --> 00:23:39,015 Please please please don't involve Mrs. Morrison. 543 00:23:39,050 --> 00:23:41,041 I'm not involving her. You have a lovely home by the way. 544 00:23:41,086 --> 00:23:42,986 - Thank you. - Lovely. I love that print. 545 00:23:43,021 --> 00:23:44,818 And I think it's a little provocative, 546 00:23:44,856 --> 00:23:46,790 coming in here like this in front of my wife 547 00:23:46,825 --> 00:23:48,986 with no pants on! You should go home and get dressed. 548 00:23:49,027 --> 00:23:51,018 I was running out! I ran out of the house. 549 00:23:51,062 --> 00:23:52,620 I give you my phone number, you call me. 550 00:23:52,664 --> 00:23:55,098 You drive by my house. Now you're in my house? 551 00:23:55,133 --> 00:23:57,465 How about if I just hang out here? I'll sit on the steps. 552 00:23:57,502 --> 00:23:59,470 What, all night? Sit on the steps? 553 00:23:59,504 --> 00:24:01,597 - I can't go out there! - My family is here! 554 00:24:01,640 --> 00:24:03,870 Do you mind if I stay on the steps, Mrs. Morrison? 555 00:24:03,909 --> 00:24:06,173 No no, Mrs. Morrison does... you're not staying on the steps. 556 00:24:06,211 --> 00:24:08,509 You know, you're a doctor. You're sending me out to get hurt. 557 00:24:08,547 --> 00:24:09,912 What about the Hippocratic Oath? 558 00:24:09,948 --> 00:24:11,848 When you're hurt, come back and I'll treat you. 559 00:24:11,883 --> 00:24:13,851 - Go home, Mr. David! - Do you agree with this? 560 00:24:13,885 --> 00:24:15,716 - You say you only live... - Do you agree with this? 561 00:24:15,754 --> 00:24:17,779 Please! Don't bring Mrs. Morrison into this. 562 00:24:17,823 --> 00:24:19,688 - Fine. - And you ought to put some pants on. 563 00:24:19,724 --> 00:24:21,919 You know what? You're going to be getting a call from me soon... 564 00:24:21,960 --> 00:24:23,985 an emergency call. I have your home phone number. 565 00:24:24,029 --> 00:24:26,224 - I'll to be making an emergency call! - Call my service! 566 00:24:26,264 --> 00:24:27,856 I'm calling an emergency call to you! 567 00:24:27,899 --> 00:24:29,867 Don't call me and I'll call you! 568 00:24:45,116 --> 00:24:47,914 I'm so happy you're home. You've got to let me come in and spend the night. 569 00:24:47,953 --> 00:24:49,921 Somebody's chasing me. There's a guy after me. 570 00:24:49,955 --> 00:24:51,855 I swear to God! I'm not making it up! 571 00:24:51,890 --> 00:24:54,688 - What are you wearing? - What? I'm wearing shorts. 572 00:24:54,726 --> 00:24:57,593 - That's disgusting. - I workout in shorts. I'm sorry. 573 00:24:57,629 --> 00:25:00,598 You know something? You really disappointed me last night. 574 00:25:00,632 --> 00:25:02,930 That sweet guy trying to sing a song... 575 00:25:02,968 --> 00:25:05,903 you absolutely destroyed his confidence. You know that? 576 00:25:05,937 --> 00:25:07,768 He can't sing anymore because of you. 577 00:25:07,806 --> 00:25:11,401 Well, I'll... you know, I'll talk to him. 578 00:25:11,443 --> 00:25:13,035 - Talk to him? - I will. I will. 579 00:25:13,078 --> 00:25:14,272 Yeah, build up his confidence after that. 580 00:25:14,312 --> 00:25:15,336 I actually will. I'll do that. 581 00:25:15,380 --> 00:25:16,472 You are a selfish motherfucker. 582 00:25:16,515 --> 00:25:17,573 - I'm selfish? - You are. 583 00:25:17,616 --> 00:25:19,106 I buy you a fantastic gift, 584 00:25:19,150 --> 00:25:21,744 and you take Jeff Greene? That's $150. 585 00:25:21,786 --> 00:25:23,413 - So what? - That's my $150! 586 00:25:23,455 --> 00:25:24,945 Is that what's bothering you? $150? 587 00:25:24,990 --> 00:25:26,582 At least I gave you a present. I didn't have my daughter 588 00:25:26,625 --> 00:25:28,320 - sing some bullshit song... - Here. Here's your $150. 589 00:25:28,360 --> 00:25:29,793 - Take your $150... ...and not be able to carry a tune! 590 00:25:29,828 --> 00:25:32,854 ...and go buy yourself some fucking pants, will you? 591 00:25:46,645 --> 00:25:48,738 - Hey, I'm so glad you're home. - Hey. 592 00:25:48,780 --> 00:25:50,372 Mary Jane Porter's boyfriend is after me. 593 00:25:50,415 --> 00:25:52,144 - What's going on? - I need to spend the night here! 594 00:25:52,183 --> 00:25:54,014 I won't bother you. I won't even use the kitchen! 595 00:25:54,052 --> 00:25:55,451 I swear to you I'll just stay in the guest room. 596 00:25:55,487 --> 00:25:57,421 - Please. Come on. - All right, all right. 597 00:25:57,455 --> 00:25:58,752 - Come on in. - Put something on. 598 00:25:58,790 --> 00:26:00,155 I don't want to have to look at this. 599 00:26:13,805 --> 00:26:17,297 Jesus. Shut up! 600 00:26:17,342 --> 00:26:19,867 What the fuck? Shut the fuck up! 601 00:26:19,911 --> 00:26:22,778 Shut the fuck up! 602 00:26:22,814 --> 00:26:26,375 Jesus Christ! 603 00:26:26,418 --> 00:26:28,852 - What the fuck? - Mommy! I was singing 604 00:26:28,887 --> 00:26:33,187 - and Larry told me to shut the fuck up! - He did what?! 605 00:26:33,224 --> 00:26:35,419 - Out! - Huh? What? 606 00:26:35,460 --> 00:26:38,429 - Out! Get the hell out of my house! - What the hell? 607 00:26:38,463 --> 00:26:41,330 You ingrate! You hurt Sammi one more time, Larry! 608 00:26:41,366 --> 00:26:43,834 Get the fuck out of my house, okay?! 609 00:26:43,868 --> 00:26:47,497 You squashed the spirit of a talented young girl! 610 00:26:47,539 --> 00:26:51,441 You piece of shit! You heartless piece of shit! 611 00:26:51,476 --> 00:26:53,000 Out! 612 00:26:56,815 --> 00:26:59,545 - I'm sorry you took it so personally... - That's all right. 613 00:26:59,584 --> 00:27:01,552 ...because it... honestly, it really wasn't you. 614 00:27:01,586 --> 00:27:04,555 - You mean that? - Yes, absolutely. 615 00:27:04,589 --> 00:27:07,183 - Now come on. - Just go sing, will you, please? 616 00:27:07,225 --> 00:27:10,820 - Okay. Okay. Thanks. - Okay. 617 00:27:16,201 --> 00:27:18,192 - What the... - What are you doing? 618 00:27:20,939 --> 00:27:24,340 - What are you doing here? - I had to go talk to that singer. 619 00:27:24,376 --> 00:27:26,571 - What are you doing here? - Uh, listen. 620 00:27:26,611 --> 00:27:28,704 I'm meeting Christian Slater and his girlfriend here 621 00:27:28,747 --> 00:27:31,511 and my boyfriend's in the bathroom right now. 622 00:27:31,549 --> 00:27:34,609 He's gonna come out and... you should go. 623 00:27:34,653 --> 00:27:36,484 - Don't stand there. - But he doesn't know what I look like. 624 00:27:36,521 --> 00:27:39,149 - Go go go go. - Yeah, but... 625 00:27:39,190 --> 00:27:41,351 I know. 626 00:27:41,393 --> 00:27:44,089 - Oh, whoa, I'm sorry. - Oh. Sorry. I'm sorry. 627 00:27:44,129 --> 00:27:47,030 Oh, wait, are you Larry David? 628 00:27:49,067 --> 00:27:51,092 No. Nuh-uh. 629 00:27:51,136 --> 00:27:52,728 - No. No. - What? 630 00:27:53,872 --> 00:27:55,430 Hey hey! Excuse me. Hey hey! 631 00:27:55,473 --> 00:27:57,236 Hey hey! Hey! 632 00:28:14,793 --> 00:28:17,523 You're not looking for Larry David by any chance, are you? 633 00:28:17,562 --> 00:28:18,961 Yeah, I am. 634 00:28:20,065 --> 00:28:22,727 Thank you. Thanks, man. Hey! 50778

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