Original subtitles

Jason: Did you have to punch me?

Will: Yep.

Jason: Do you think my marriage is over?

Will: No.

Jason: You're a good brother.

Will: Yep.

Jason: Hi, my name is Jason Ackart.

I am a elementary school music teacher here in the Sunshine State

but my real passion is writing and performing for children.

I would love nothing more than to become a member

of the Happy Kids Family of Entertainers.

So here's my song.

(singing) Sometimes your mommy doesn't understand,

sometimes a rainy day can ruin your game plan.

Those days got a way of getting under your skin, my friend,

and when you feel that way just say

I'm going to dance the blues away,

as I listen to the music play,

come on and dance the blues away,

as we listen to the music play.

Just dance the blues away,

as you listen to the music play.

You got to dance the blues away, today.

(reading) Dear Mr. Ackart,

I regret to inform you after reviewing

we have determined your talents, we believe,

and your persona lacks a marketable hook.

Have a happy day.

(children's music)

Hello?

Izzie: Uncle Jelly!

Jason: Izzie!

How are you? (mwah)

You've gotten so big we're going to have to measure you

next time you come over to the house, okay?

Izzie: Okay.

Jason: You've got stuff on the wall.

Hey, smells good in here.

How's it going?

Hey Danny.

Danny: Hey Jay.

How's it going?

Jason: Um, it's going good.

So what are you guys doing tonight?

Will: Bible study.

Jason: Awesome, well I'm going to get going

but I was thinking that...

maybe I'd, I'll um...

didn't you have something that you needed to show me?

Will: Yes, that thing.

Jason: Yeah in the hallway!

Will: Let's look at that.

Jason: That thing in the hallway, yeah.

Danny: What just happened?

Rachel: I don't know.

Jason: Chris and Danny broke up?

Will: Yes!

Jason: When?

Will: Like a week ago.

Jason: And you're just telling me now?

Will: Never mind that, you going to stick around or not?

Jason: Do you think I stand a chance?

Will: I'm not telling you to hit on her

but I think you should stick around.

Jason: Bible study?

Will: Oh grow up.

(Christmas music)

Andy: Make sure you guys try some of the casserole,

made that myself.

Will: History?

It's clearly the F-15.

(indistinct talking)

Dave: I'm glad to see you tonight, Jason.

Jason: Yeah, actually, I can't stay.

I just came over here for-

Dave: Absolutely, why don't you try some of Andy's green bean casserole here?

Jason: It looks good, I actually ate before I came here so-

Dave: Ah stop with it, just try it.

Danny: Hey.

Jason: Hi.

Dave: Okay everybody, looks like we're all dished up.

Let's go into the living room.

Danny: You going to stay?

Jason: I don't have a bible, so, can't.

Danny: You can look on with me.

Dave: So we'll start tonight's study with Luke chapter one.

This is a sort of a prologue to the coming of Christ.

It talks about his forerunner, John the Baptist.

It talks really about the coming of-

Jason: Oh yeah?

Danny: You should come more often.

You hated it, didn't you?

Jason: No.

I don't hate it.

(Danny laughs)

I just have my own feelings about God and the universe

and I'm just not up to talking about it in a committee.

It was good to see you, though.

Danny: You know Chris and I were together since high school

and we were supposed to get married this summer.

Jason: Yeah.

Danny: It just, it's going to be a while before I'm ready to date again.

Jason: Yeah, I wasn't trying to.

Danny: I know, it's okay.

Jason: Okay.

Danny: Well, I'm going to go now.

Maybe I'll see you next week?

Jason: Anything's possible.

Danny: Yeah.

Good night.

Jason: Good night.

Danny: Or, you can come to my place for coffee.

You know, whichever.

Jason: Okay.

(cheerful music)

(laughing)

(laughing)

Danny: Baby's first bible.

(laughing)

Danny: You know this is really great of you guys,

thank you so much.

Rachel: Well when we had Izzie I was a lot stupider

and you were a lot poorer but you were always there for me.

You're really lucky, you know.

Danny: How so?

Rachel: Because Jason, he's already so good with kids.

It took Will a while, believe me.

Danny: (laughs) I bet.

Hey, what is that?

Izzie: Mommy can I have an ice cream sandwich?

Rachel: Yeah just go ask your dad.

Jason: So is it weird to have a baby shower in the first trimester?

Will: It's weird that you're not helping me wash dishes right now.

Jason: Seriously.

Will: Well, we just figure it's better to show you early on

that you're not alone out there, you know?

Izzie: Daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy!

Will: Hey, come here.

Where's the fire, sweetheart?

Izzie: I want a ice cream sandwich.

Will: An ice cream sandwich?

Okay, what do you say?

Izzie: Please.

Will: Okay but you got to tell Uncle Jellyman

what you want to be when you grow up.

Izzie: A fireman.

Jason: A fireman?

Izzie: Mm-hmm.

Will: That's right, just like her daddy.

Jason: A fireman huh, not a firefighter or firewoman?

Izzie: A fireman! (Jason laughs)

Will: She doesn't know the difference.

There you go sweetie, now what do you say?

Izzie: I love you.

Will: I love you too but what else do you say?

Izzie: Thank you.

Will: You're welcome.

Jason: She really digs you, man.

I mean, I don't know, you think I'll have that with my kid?

Will: It's a daddy thing, I guess.

You know, it's like you're their entire template

for what it means to be a great human being.

It's the best part though, you're going to love it, Jay.

The kid's going to want to be just like you.

It's like having a dog only 100 times better.

Rachel: What's like having a dog only 100 times better?

Will: Having you around, baby.

Rachel: Oh, you're sweet. (slaps)

(Jason laughs)

Will: So is it time for cocktail already there booser?

Rachel: No, they're for Danny, she's craving cherries.

Will: You better stock up now because Rachel is Kalamata olives.

(Jason laughs)

Danny: We really made out like bandits today, huh?

Jason: I don't know, I haven't really processed all of this yet.

Danny: You and me both.

And guess what?

Jason: What?

Danny: I'm not feeling sick tonight.

You want to go to bed early?

Jason: Who needs a bed?

Danny: I love you so much.

Jason: I love you too.

Danny: Well, I guess we better move this to the bedroom, huh?

Jason: Honestly, I'm not really that tired.

Um, I had an idea for a song

and I want to work on it before I lose it all.

Danny: Okay.

Don't stay up too late, though.

(piano playing)

(relaxing music)

Newswoman: Today in Peru, a group of young expectant mothers

visited a new program in Lima to participate in what researchers there

are calling dolphin therapy.

In dolphin therapy, researchers supervise as the intelligent marine mammals

interact with pregnant women in and out of the water.

Scientists behind the program believe that the sonic waves dolphins emit

by using echo location, might help-

Danny: Does it look awful?

Rachel: It looks like you have a pillow stuffed under your shirt.

You're taking all the fun out of this by refusing to show your belly.

I wish I looked this hot with Izzie.

What?

Danny: How was the sex?

You know, when you were pregnant?

Rachel: What do you mean?

Danny: It's been months.

Rachel: Oh, um, I'm sure you're exaggerating.

Danny: No.

Rachel: Turn to your right.

Danny: I don't know, I mean I've been with Chris for seven years

and I never felt the type of electricity I felt when Jason happened.

I never had somebody that wanted me that badly

and all of a sudden one day it just stopped.

All he does anymore is write his damn songs.

I don't know, maybe it's a family thing.

Was Will like that?

Rachel: Are you kidding?

I think Will has a fetish, I couldn't beat him off with a stick.

That probably doesn't help you.

Danny: No.

Maybe he's part dolphin.

Rachel: Do what?

Danny: I was watching TV earlier today

and apparently dolphins are like crazy attracted to pregos.

Like in Peru, they have dolphin therapy and they have mommy-to-be's come

and the dolphins come and kiss their bellies.

Rachel: Maybe Jason needs dolphin therapy, you know?

Teach him to love the bump.

Danny: He needs some kind of therapy.

Rachel: Well the good news is you're about get so uncomfortable

the idea of sex will probably make you want to punch him in the face.

Here, look at these.

Danny: Ugh, I look like Moby Dick.

Rachel: You look beautiful.

Danny: No, I look like an entire new species is what I look like.

Rachel: Stop.

Danny: No, I can't even.

Rachel: Maybe I'm just a lousy photographer.

Danny: So you admit it, I look terrible.

Rachel: I admit that anything I say right now will not help

because you are so insecure.

Why don't we look into a professional photographer?

Danny: No, I hate studio portraits, they're so cheesy.

Rachel: No I don't mean like some franchise hack in the mall,

I mean like a real photographer.

Like an artist.

Come on, promise me we'll look into it.

Danny: Fine.

(xylophone playing)

Jason: Bye kids.

Children: Bye.

Jason: Have a great summer.

See ya next year, bye!

Bye guys.

Principal Stevens.

Principal: Jason, hey.

Sit down.

I want to talk to you about something.

Jason: Okay.

Principal: So uh, so how's Danny?

The baby's healthy?

Jason: Yeah, she's good, yeah.

Principal: Good.

I remember when I was so nervous when we had our first

but you guys are going to be great.

Jason: Thanks.

So what's up?

Principal: Uh...

Danny: Maybe you can get a job working at a music store,

selling instruments or something.

How long has your ring been all funky like this?

Jason: I don't know.

It's from banging the keys, I guess.

Danny: Yeah?

Well give it here, I'll have it reshaped for you.

Jason: It's fine.

Danny: Besides, you could use a little sparkly newness

in your life right now.

How about we put you to bed and I do things to you?

Jason: Thanks but I'm just not really in the mood tonight.

Danny: This is a bad idea.

Rachel: Stop, this guy's supposed to be really good.

Danny: Yeah, exactly.

I don't have money for anything good.

Rachel: I already told you, Will said we could help.

See?

It's gorgeous.

Nathan: Like that one?

Danny: Oh, uh, yeah it reminds me of The Little Mermaid I guess.

Nathan: That's my favorite too.

We're prepping these for a gallery opening in a couple of weeks.

Sorry to keep you waiting, Nathan Long.

Danny: Hi.

Rachel: Danny, I'm Rachel.

Nathan: You both look very familiar to me.

Is it possible we've met?

Rachel: We both tend bar over at Las Olas Bistro.

Nathan: Las Olas Bistro, that must be it, I've been there recently.

Well you probably want to get off your feet, huh?

What kind of photos are you looking for?

Danny: Well-

Rachel: Maybe something a little sexy.

Nathan: Okay, we can do that.

Are you thinking something semi-nude, maybe?

Danny: Oh no.

No, fully clothed.

Nathan: Okay, we can do that too.

I usually like to work in a location that's meaningful to the mother.

Do you have anything in mind?

Danny: I don't know, I guess we just assumed

we'd do it here in the studio.

Rachel: You were just saying how you thought

studio portraits were cheesy.

Danny: Shut up.

Nathan: Maybe think it over.

Danny: You know what, we're just window shopping anyway

so it's no big deal.

Nathan: I understand if you're reluctant.

Many of my clients are at the start.

But the truth is, the pregnant body

is an extremely compelling subject for photography.

It's human nature.

We're visually drawn to pregnancy like-

Rachel: Dolphins. (laughs)

Nathan: I'm sorry?

Danny: Just something I saw on TV.

Apparently, dolphins are attracted to pregnant women.

Nathan: Really?

Danny: Apparently.

Nathan: You know, back in college I spent a summer

shooting dolphins in the Amazon.

Rachel: I didn't know they had dolphins in the Amazon?

Nathan: They don't anymore, I shot 'em all.

That was a joke.

Danny: Um...

Nathan: River dolphins called the Boto.

Rachel: Weird looking.

Nathan: You want to hear weird?

The natives believe the Boto is a shapeshifter.

They say it takes the form of man to abduct young girls and impregnate them.

They call him "encantado", enchanted.

Danny: Well that's incredibly creepy.

Nathan: It is, isn't it?

Danny: Yeah, crazy raping jungle dolphins aside,

I guess we should probably talk about the cost?

Nathan: Well for a typical session you're looking at around $500,

that includes your session-

Danny: Woah, uh, no.

I definitely am sorry, I can't afford that.

Rachel: Look, this is really important to her.

Danny: This is very important to you.

Rachel: Whatever, do you have any kind of a discount package or something?

Nathan: I tell ya what, I've got this gallery opening in a couple weeks.

We're going to need bartenders.

If the two of you are willing to do the event for free,

I won't charge you for the session.

Rachel: Deal.

Nathan: Okay, write down all your info for me and Danny,

if you want we can do your session tomorrow?

Rachel: What?

You're welcome.

Jason: (singing) I don't want it with bacon,

I want ham on the side,

I want an ice cream sandwich and I want it chicken fried.

I want an ice cream sandwich,

two scoops with white,

strawberry and chocolate, mmm-mmm,

can't wait to take a bite.

Allison: Excuse me, Mr. Jellyman?

Jason: Jason.

Allison: Jason, hi, Allison James.

Jason: Hi.

Allison: I was wondering if you had a minute to talk?

Jason: Well if you can walk and talk, I actually have a bus to catch.

Allison: Oh, yeah, sure.

Jason: What's up?

Allison: Well, I'm a grad student in TV production,

interning at a local cable channel and I wanted to talk with you

about a show idea that I had.

Jason: Okay.

Allison: Can I help you carry something?

Jason: Thanks.

Allison: Okay, well I've been doing some market research

and I figured what better way to compete with area broadcasters

than a locally produced children's show

that actually speaks to our city's kids?

Jason: So what's your concept?

Allison: Well that's just it, my concept is you.

Listen, I love your show and I mean you really have something.

Look, you're in a hurry.

Let me give you my card, call me and we'll do dinner sometime.

I promise you won't regret it.

Dave: The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife

and likewise, the wife to her husband.

Now do not deprive each other except by mutual consent

and for a time, then come together again so that you will not be tempted

because of your lack of self-control.

Now you hear people talk all the time about having a healthy sex life,

but you don't tend to hear talk like that in a church.

Rachel: That's what I like about this passage

is that he addresses husbands and wives as equals.

Dave: Absolutely.

Rachel: There's this idea that women aren't sexual

but he's very clear about it here that if a husband

does not fulfill his wife's sexual needs

that she's going to look somewhere else.

Woman: Amen to that. (crowd laughs)

Dave: How's it going, Jason?

Jason: Pretty good.

Dave: So, uh, as... you just-

Jason: Yeah, I got it.

Dave: Just hold then pull.

Jason: See, I'm ready for children.

Dave: Yeah, um.

So anyway, I was, I understand that things have been a bit bumpy

between you and Danny in the bedroom.

Jason: What was that now?

Dave: Well Danny confided in Rachel and Rachel confided in Andy

and Andy confided in me and I thought maybe we should have a little talk about it.

Jason: This is a joke, right?

Dave: Now I've read where some men

associate the pregnant body with obesity

and sometimes there's a desire for their pregnant wives.

Jason: I'm really not comfortable having a conversation with you

involving my sex life.

Dave: Absolutely, believe me, when Andy was first pregnant with Joshua,

I too felt a little weirded out by the sex.

But I had to work through it, we got through it.

So what I'm maybe suggesting is that you guys

maybe read some love poetry or sensual massage.

Jason: Okay I'm also not comfortable with you

saying the word sensual or massage to me.

Ever.

In any context.

Dave: Well, normally I wouldn't suggest this either,

but maybe you guys should watch some videos together.

Jason: Stop.

Dave: Nothing X-rated, just something a little racy like Top Gun.

Jason: That's great advice, I'll do that, okay.

Dave: Jason, here's the point, is that you should talk to your wife.

Maybe y'all should work through it together.

Jason: Okay, I'll do that, but can we not talk about this at all anymore?

Danny: Can you open this?

Jason: Yeah.

Danny: Thanks.

Jason: Interesting group tonight.

The husband shall fulfill his marital duties to his wife.

Come on Danny, I know a setup when I see one.

Danny: The Lord works in mysterious ways.

Jason: Hmm.

So Dave tells me you think our sex life is in trouble.

Danny: You're calling him Dave now?

Jason: You kidding me?

Dave and I go way back.

We're old friends.

He was giving me all kinds of ideas on how to hit that.

How about a foot massage?

Danny: You want me to massage your feet now?

Jason: No, I meant how about if I give you a foot massage?

Danny: Oh, I'd like that.

It's not about the sex or it's not just about the sex.

Jason: I know.

Danny: You haven't been present lately, Jason.

It's like you're avoiding me or-

Jason: I'm not avoiding you, okay?

It's just I look at you and it just...

It freaks me out a little.

Danny: Glad we cleared that one up.

Jason: No, that's not what I meant.

Okay, it's not you.

It's...

Danny: The baby?

I don't get it.

You love kids, they're your life.

Look at you and Izzie.

Jason: Yeah, I love kids, okay?

But I'm not sure I'm ready for the responsibility

of feeding and watering one.

Danny: You realize they're not plants, right?

Jason: Yeah.

Danny: Yeah?

Because like a potted plant, is not going to be like that, Jason.

Jason: Yeah I get it.

Danny: Good or a Chia pet, it's not like that either.

You were saying?

Jason: I don't know, I guess I'm just having a hard time

looking beyond the pregnancy right now.

Danny: Yeah, that must be really hard for you.

Jason: I just need to find a different way of like,

re-contextualizing you in my head.

Danny: Oh God, I love it when you talk dirty to me.

Jason: Danny, seriously.

Danny: Well, what?

Like role play?

Jason: I didn't really have anything specific in mind but yeah,

brainstorming, that's good.

I'm sorry I made you feel unwanted.

I love you but-

Danny: But?

Jason: Not but, and.

I love you and...

this whole transition from husband to father

is just a little bigger than I expected.

Nathan: I like these three the best, what do you think?

Rachel: I like the one on the left.

Nathan: Danny, you okay?

Danny: Sorry, it's not you, I just...

Woman: You know, sweetheart, you're really not supposed to use dye

when you're pregnant.

Danny: I know, it's not for me.

Will: So you screwed up?

Jason: I maybe didn't handle things the best way but I wouldn't say-

Will: Okay, so fix it.

Jason: Any bright ideas on how I do that?

Will: Uh, I don't know.

Rachel likes it whenever I show up at her work.

Jason: That's no good, I got this meeting tonight

with that woman I was talking to you about.

Will: Better watch yourself, Jay.

Does Danny even know about this woman?

Jason: Yeah, I'm secretly meeting with Allison

and not telling my wife about it.

Yes I told Danny about it.

It's a business meeting, I don't see what the big deal is.

Will: Just 'cus you told her doesn't mean it's okay.

Woman: Hey.

Nathan: How are you?

Woman: Good, how are you?

Nathan: I'm good, I'm good.

Is Danny busy?

Woman: I'll get her.

Hey, somebody's asking for you.

I'll take it.

Danny: Hi.

Nathan: You dyed your hair.

Danny: Yeah.

Nathan: Can you do that?

I thought...

Danny: It's... It's fine.

Nathan: I mean, it looks great on you.

Danny: Yeah?

Nathan: Yeah.

I brought you a little present.

Danny: Okay, why on Earth would you be bringing me a present?

Nathan: You seemed to like it.

You kind of look like her now, with the red hair and all.

You know it's... it's not unusual when you're pregnant

to feel weird about your body.

But you're a hot girl, Danny.

You're never going to see it in your photos until you see it in yourself.

End of platitude.

Danny: Thank you.

It was really sweet of you.

So, what can I get you to drink?

Nathan: Give me your specialty.

Danny: Hmm, one appletini coming right up.

So, you think I should give those photos another shot?

Nathan: Not in the way you think.

Do you have a camera?

Danny: I have a camera phone.

Nathan: Perfect.

Take your own pictures.

Think of it as a homework assignment.

Try not seeing yourself through someone else's eyes.

When you find one that feels right, give me a call.

I'd like to see it.

Danny: More platitudes?

Nathan: Maybe, but sincere ones.

What do you say?

Hmm?

Danny: I'm willing.

Jason: Hi.

Danny: Hi.

Jason: I got you a present.

I'm sorry about last night.

Danny: Yeah, me too.

I can't really talk right now, though.

I kind of got to work.

Jason: Okay, yeah, sure.

Danny: Okay.

Allison: Hi, come on in.

I'm still working on dinner so you're like here to help.

Jason: Oh, sure.

Allison: Help yourself to a mojito, the pitcher's on the table.

Jason: Pitcher.

Allison: Music's not up too loud, is it?

Jason: No, it's fine.

Allison: I thought it would be fun to do the whole sensual experience.

Jason: So, what's next?

Allison: I think that we need to start with a demo of one of your songs.

You know, that's going to be the key to selling the whole idea.

Jason: Not to be a jerk but you're an intern right?

Allison: (laughs) Yeah.

Jason: So why on Earth is anyone at your office going to listen to you?

Allison: Confession time.

Patty, my boss, she's one of my mother's oldest friends.

Jason: Ah.

Allison: (laughs) That's why I need to do this, you know,

to prove to everybody that I'm not just the boss's pet.

So, um, do you want some coffee or something?

Jason: Yeah, that sounds great.

You're home late.

Danny: Yeah, got slammed.

Had a lot of side work after.

Jason: So who was that guy you were talking to tonight?

Danny: What guy?

Jason: He left right before I came in.

Danny: I don't know, probably some regular, why?

Jason: Just seemed friendly.

Danny: What's with the jealous routine?

Jason: I never said I was jealous.

Danny: No, you didn't because being jealous requires a fear

of someone taking something you want and obviously

there's nothing here that you want.

Jason: Where the hell did that come from?

I came by tonight, didn't I?

I brought you a rose.

Danny: Yeah, a rose from a homeless person.

I'm not an idiot.

Jason: I made an effort, clearly you weren't interested.

Danny: Well then I guess not being interested cuts both ways, doesn't it?

Jason: No, you are not allowed to do that.

Danny: Do what?

Jason: You can't just blow me off for no reason.

Danny: No reason?

I have been married to an empty bed for four months, Jay.

How's that for a reason?

Jason: Danny, I'm trying.

Danny: Jason, I didn't ask you to marry me,

so if this is your version of doing the right thing then you can have it.

Jason: Where the hell is this coming from?

Why would you even think that I would marry you just 'cus you're pregnant?

Is that why you married me?

I want an ice cream sandwich with extra cheese.

Danny: Hey.

Jason: Hmm?

Danny: I'm sorry for earlier.

Jason: Hmm.

Danny: Earlier I was mean for no reason.

Jason: Hmm?

Danny: Are you awake?

Jason: Mm-hmm, I'm awake.

You were mean.

Danny: You don't have to rub it in.

Jason: I'm sorry too.

Danny: For what?

Jason: For pissing you off.

Danny: Do you even know what you did that pissed me off?

Jason: I bought the rose from the homeless guy and I was jealous.

Danny: So you were jealous?

Jason: Isn't that what pissed you off in the first place?

Danny: I was mad because you said you weren't jealous.

Made me feel you didn't care.

It wasn't the rose that bothered me, it was the fact that you just bought one.

I mean that guy had a whole bouquet of roses and you bought me one rose.

Jason: Baby-

Jason: I didn't have a lot of cash on me.

Danny: There's an ATM like right there.

Okay, I know that's not the point.

It was sweet of you to visit me.

And the rose was an effort and I see that now.

I love you.

And I didn't marry you just because of the baby.

Jason: Hey, what's this?

Danny: Nothing, it's just hormones.

Go back to sleep, okay?

Jason: Okay.

I love you too.

(microwave dings)

So uh, what's with the naked lady photo in the kitchen?

Danny: You like it?

Jason: I thought it was you for a second.

Danny: Nope, not me.

Sorry.

Jason: Kind of looks like you with the red hair and all.

Danny: Yeah, I guess.

Jason: So who's Nathan Long?

Danny: Uh, he took the photo.

Jason: Is that the guy from last night?

Danny: Last night?

Jason: The regular?

Danny: Uh, he came by and gave me the photo,

if that's what you're asking.

Jason: So why is a guy who takes naked pictures of pregnant ladies

signing a photograph of a naked pregnant lady

that looks like you and giving it to you anyways?

As a gift?

Danny: He knew I liked the photo.

(hairdryer noise)

Jason: How'd he know you liked the photo?

Danny: What?

Jason: Nothing.

Allison: I thought some wine would help.

Okay, so what's the plan?

Jason: Well, first of all I'm going to show you how to use the software

so you can record and secondly, you're going to tell me what sucks

and what doesn't suck.

Allison: (laughs) Is that all?

Jason: Unless you can sing harmony?

You sing?

Allison: (laughs) In high school, a little.

Yeah, but it's been a while since I've sung in front of anyone.

But not counting drunken karaoke.

Jason: Okay, well in that case you can help me sing harmonies.

Alright here we go.

(both singing) I want it without bacon and with ham on the side.

I want an ice cream sandwich, I want an ice cream sandwich,

I want an ice cream sandwich and I want it chicken fried.

Allison: (laughs) Yeah!

Jason: You have a nice voice.

Allison: All state chorus, two years in a row.

Jason: I gotta tell ya, you've got me excited about my music

like I have not been in months.

Allison: Man it's late.

You probably missed your bus.

Jason: Yeah, I'll call a cab.

Allison: I would offer to drive you

but I probably shouldn't be on the road right now.

Jason: It's okay.

Allison: You know you're welcome to stay here if you want.

On the couch, I mean.

Jason: Yeah, I uh, I probably shouldn't.

I got to be somewhere early so I mean-

Allison: Yeah, no biggie.

I'll call you a cab.

Jason: Thanks.

Okay, how about if we make it a little bit easier?

How about if you show me where middle C is?

(piano note plays)

Okay, I'm going to give you a hint.

Alright, it's in the middle of the keyboard.

Middle C.

Hey.

Danny: Hey.

Jason: Awe, you shouldn't have.

Danny: I know.

With this ring, I thee wed.

Jason: 1-2-3 flip!

(upbeat music)

Will: So Jay, how's the whole TV show with the girl thing coming along?

Jason: Good, we recorded a demo the other night.

Rachel: Soap.

Will: Did you do that here?

Jason: No, west.

Will: Oh, I want that.

Danny: Okay, I've been skipped like three times.

Will: Ya snooze, ya lose.

Look who's back on top now, dog.

Thank you.

Jason: Yeah you had that coming to you.

Will: So Danny, did you have a chance to meet, uh...

What's her name?

Danny: Nope.

Jason: Allison.

No, I haven't introduced her yet.

Danny: Maybe we should have her over for dinner?

Jason: Yeah, I'll mention that to her.

Rachel: Hey we're going to have a garage sale

if you guys have anything you want to get rid of.

Danny: Yeah, when are you doing it?

Rachel: Uh, green dragon.

Soon, as soon as Will can purge the garage of all the crap he's accumulated.

Will: Yeah, Rachel's making me get rid of all of Dad's old stuff.

You want to come over, go through it,

there might be something you want to keep.

Danny: Yeah, maybe some of your old baby stuff's over there.

That'd be kind of cool, huh?

Jason: Anything's possible.

Four, bam.

Danny: Can you give me the...

Will: Sure.

Danny: Finally, I get to go.

How do I look?

Jason: I'd tip ya.

Danny: Yeah but sympathy tip or like, a MILF tip?

Jason: Definitely a... woah.

Really kicking.

Danny: Yeah I guess it's getting a little cramped in there.

Jason: Wait 'til he sees our house.

Danny: Or she.

Jason: I don't know why we can't just find out.

Danny: Because it would spoil the fun.

(phone rings)

Phone's ringing.

Jason: Hello?

Allison: Hey, so Patty loved the demo.

She wants to meet you.

Jason: Really?

Allison: Mm-hmm, what are you doing tonight?

Jason: Yeah, nothing.

Yeah I have a suit.

Mm-hmm.

I didn't mention I was married? (laughs)

Yeah I was getting my ring reshaped.

I um, I never mentioned that?

I never mentioned my wife?

I guess...

Just forgot to put it on before I left.

Sorry, babe.

I got so used to leaving the house without it.

I guess I forgot.

Allison: I thought the dolls were a really great idea.

Woman: Yeah.

Allison: I thought it was-

Allison: Wow, you clean up good, mister.

Jason: You look great, as usual.

Allison: Thanks.

Jason: So, what's up?

Allison: Well, Patty's on the gallery board,

invited us to this opening.

This place is going to be crawling with money tonight

so I think she's hoping to help us get the show out there,

you know, see if we can find some funding.

Are you okay?

Jason: Yeah, just a little nervous.

Allison: Awe, that's adorable.

You know what helps me when I get nervous?

Better?

So you want a drink?

Jason: Most definitely.

Patty: Jason, Patty Lewis.

Allison pointed you out to me.

Jason: Oh, so glad to meet you.

Patty: Yes, you're a music teacher aren't you dear?

Jason: Uh-huh.

Patty: Do you think you could teach me to play a musical instrument?

Jason: Yeah, sure.

I mean I can teach you piano lesson, guitar lesson, whatever you wanted.

Patty: Sounds perfect, now how long would it take?

Jason: To learn?

Patty: Will it take more than a week?

Jason: Oh, probably.

Patty: Well that's no good then.

What about a harmonica?

Or possibly a Jew's harp?

Is it okay to say Jew's harp, I mean is it actually a Jewish thing

or is it some sort of slur?

Jason: I have no idea.

Allison: Ah, you guys found each other.

Patty: You know that Snoopy used to play a Jew's harp, don't you,

and you would think if Snoopy could do it then I could do it too.

Allison: What's this about?

Patty: Oh I bet Jeff Peoples $50 dollars

that I'd be able to learn a musical instrument within a week.

Have to tell you Jason, I have some sort of gambling problem.

Jason: Uh, Jeff Peoples of PeoplesFace.com?

Patty: That's the one, I was talking to him earlier about your show.

He seems quite interested, actually.

Where the devil did he get to?

Jason: He's a bagillionaire! (laughs)

So how much do I owe you for the drink?

Allison: Nothing, it's an open bar.

Jason: Sweet.

Allison: I did leave a pretty hefty tip, though.

Jason: Well you kind of have to when it's an open bar, something like that.

Allison: That and the bartender was pregnant.

Oh my god, are you okay?

Jason: Yeah, I just lost my grip.

Allison: Hey, move your leg.

Jason: No it's fine.

Allison: Under your foot-

Nathan: Hey, don't worry about that, we'll have someone clean it up.

Patty: Nathan, I'd like you to meet some people.

Allison, Jason, this is Nathan Long.

He's a member of the board with me,

he's also a rather fabulous photographer I might add.

Jason you were looking at one of his pieces earlier.

Nathan: What do you-

Nathan: Got there?

Allison: Oh, someone dropped a wedding ring.

Nathan: I'll have the girls at the bar hold onto it,

in case someone comes looking.

Excuse me.

Patty: Oh Jason, if you're going to the bar for another drink

would you please get me a refill?

Jason: Sure, I'll be glad to.

Rachel: Totally could of. (Danny laughs)

Nathan: Hey Rachel, got a little clean up on aisle three.

Guy dropped his wine glass.

Rachel: Okay, world would be a lot easier

if everybody just used sippy cups.

Nathan: And someone lost this, hold onto it?

Danny: Sure.

Jason?

What are you doing here and why am I holding this?

Jason: Funny story.

It slipped off, I guess.

I mean I guess when they reshaped it they resized it too, so.

Danny: Okay, um, but what are you doing here?

Allison: Hey, hurry up with those drinks,

Patty's talking to Jeff Peoples right now.

Jason: Okay, be right there.

Danny: Allison, right?

Jason: Yeah.

Danny: Yeah well maybe you want me to hold onto that for you then, right?

Wouldn't want to slip away, you know, you might lose it for good.

You better hurry, sounded really important.

But you should, um, bring her back.

After, you know.

I'd like to meet her.

Jason: Sure.

Danny: Yeah.

Jeff: So we're in Taiwan and this lovely lady right here-

Allison: Oh, it's Jason.

Jason, this is Mr. Peoples.

Jeff: Hello and you must be the Jellyman?

Jason: Uh, Captain Jellyman.

Jeff: Well Captain Jellyman, the exquisite Allison here

was telling me about your kids show and I think it's fascinating.

You know, most kids' programming these days is just horse shit.

I mean if you think about it.

Jason: I completely agree sir.

Actually, will you excuse me, real quick?

Allison: Hey, you okay?

Jason: Yeah, I'm just going to the bathroom real quick, I'll be right back.

Allison: Okay.

(water running)

Nathan: Are you okay?

Danny: Yeah.

Nathan: Tired?

Danny: Yeah, always.

Nathan: How are the photos going?

Danny: Photos?

Oh, my homework, right.

Nathan: Taken any?

Danny: Yeah, just nothing I'm crazy about though.

Nathan: Well keep trying, you'll find it.

Hey, did anyone ever come looking for that ring?

Danny: Yeah, yeah.

Where'd you go tonight?

You left without saying goodbye.

Jason: I just...

Danny: Are you having an affair?

Jason: No, god, Danny, no.

Not at all.

Danny: Did your ring really fall off tonight?

Jason: No.

Danny: Does your ring fit?

Jason: Yes.

Danny: Does this girl Allison, does she know you're married?

Jason: It hasn't exactly come up.

No, I suppose.

Danny: Right.

So if I understand correctly, feel free to correct me if I'm wrong,

you chose not to wear your ring in front of her tonight.

That's a decision you made.

So you tell me, Jay, is there something going on here or not?

Jason: No.

Danny: Jay, I swear if you're lying to me we're done.

Jason: She kissed me.

That's it.

It wasn't anything, it just happened so fast I didn't know,

I couldn't react, I just-

Danny: React?

Like what?

Like telling her you're married?

Or, I don't know, maybe putting on your wedding ring?

Did you think about sleeping with her?

I think it would be best if you um,

if you called a cab and stayed at your brother's.

Jason: Danny please, can we talk about this?

Danny: No, not tonight.

Jason: Why do I have to stay at Will's place?

Can I please just crash on the couch?

Danny: No.

If you sleep on the couch,

I'll be real tempted to hurt you in your sleep

so I think it'd be best for both of us if you just leave.

Jason: Can I please have my ring back?

Danny: (laughs) You want to wear your ring now?

Jason: Danny.

Danny: No Jason, you don't get to pick and choose when you wear this ring.

Jason: You don't have to take off your ring to cheat.

Why did Nathan give you that photo?

Danny: Well that's brilliant.

You think Nathan and I are having an affair?

Jason: Have you thought about sleeping with him?

I think I'll call that cab now.

(pop music)

(doorbell)

Jason: Rachel's pretty pissed at me, huh?

Will: Brother, you need to understand right now that you screwed up.

So the less you say the better.

(phone rings)

Who's that?

Jason: Allison.

Will: Let me give you one more piece of brotherly advice.

You want to fix your marriage?

You walk away from that.

Danny: You know you spoil me, Mr. Long.

Nathan: That maraschino crap is terrible for you.

Danny: You know, I bet you'd make a really good midwife.

Nathan: I'll keep that in mind

in case this whole photography thing is a bust.

Danny: Hey, it's always good to have a backup.

Nathan: So what about you, you have a backup?

Danny: I don't know.

I mean, this having someone's baby, you know,

enough to build a life on?

Nathan: I'm surprised to hear you ask that question.

Danny: Why?

Nathan: I don't know, commitment, whatever reason you married this guy.

Danny: So you think I should work it out?

Nathan: It's not my call.

Danny: I just, I have this dream, you know,

of finding a guy who wants me so bad he can barely take it.

Nathan: Well I would imagine a man like this

would come with his own set of troubles.

Danny: Yeah.

I found a really cool word online.

Nathan: Hit me.

Danny: Okay but it's very hard to say, especially with a cherry in your mouth.

Okay, ready?

Maieusophile.

Nathan: Maieusophile, maieusophile?

Danny: Mm-hmm. (Nathan laughs)

It's somebody who's sexually aroused by pregnancy.

You know as opposed to maieusophobe,

who has irrational fear of childbirth because I just figured all guys

kind of fit into one category or the other, you know?

I've been thinking about it and I want to do another session with you.

Nathan: Really?

Danny: Yeah and I want to do it nude.

Nathan: So we're cheating, isn't it?

Danny: I'm sorry?

Nathan: On your homework?

I'm just playing.

Danny: I'm sorry.

(knocking on door)

Allison: Hey, do you want to come in?

God you look terrible.

Hungry?

I was just going to fix myself a sandwich.

Jason: Can I have a drink please?

Allison: Yeah.

Do you want to have a seat and I'll bring you something?

Jason: Yeah, thanks.

Allison: Okay.

Jason: Thank you.

Allison: So, what the hell's wrong with you?

Jason: We need to talk.

Allison: Okay.

Jason, if this is about the kiss-

Jason: I'm married.

Allison: Um, you mean like separated?

Jason: Actually at the moment I don't really know

how to answer that question.

But generically speaking, no.

I'm not separated.

Allison: You're married?

Jason: Yes.

Allison: And you just thought you'd mention it?

Jason: At first, it never really came up.

And then I didn't know how to bring it up without it being awkward.

Allison: Um, yeah, well, it's still a little awkward.

Jason: I don't know what to say.

I need to tell you why I need to walk away from this.

Why I can't do the show with you.

I'm so thankful for the opportunity that you've given me

and I'm so sorry for screwing things up.

Danny: I don't know what's going to happen,

it's just right now I really don't want anybody else to know what's going on.

Dave: Absolutely.

Danny, I want you to know that mine and Andy's prayers will be with you

and I know that-

Danny: Uh, Jason's just walked in.

Jason: Can we talk?

Danny: And he walks to talk.

Jason: Who's that?

Danny: Pastor Dave.

Jason: You have to ask Pastor Dave for permission to talk to me now?

Danny: No, I don't have to ask permission to talk-

Jason: Can we talk?

Danny: Okay, what do you want to say?

Jason: I know that I screwed stuff up

but I want to put things back on track

and I really want to start by getting my wedding ring back.

Danny: Jay it's not that simple.

Jason: I know it's not, okay?

I broke your trust and I know I'm going to have to earn it back

and I'm going to have to-

Danny: Jason, you're not listening to me, okay?

This is not just about you.

We have problems.

I have problems.

Jason: What do you mean?

Danny: After you left I went to Nathan's.

Nothing happened but I went there hoping something would.

Jay, we just need to take some time, okay?

We just need some time-

Jason: Okay we'll take some time.

Tell you what, you just give me back my wedding ring

and I'll come back in a day or so, okay?

Danny: Jay, you're not hearing me right now.

Jason: Okay, you don't want to give me the ring back.

You're hiding it from me.

I'll find it myself.

Danny: He's lost his mind, a little.

Will: Why don't you take off with Rachel.

Jason: Hey, you guys come to help me find the ring?

Will: Jay, look at yourself.

You need to stop.

Dave: Jason I'm surprised with all this noise

the neighbors haven't called the police on you already.

(car engine)

Jason: Is that Danny, is she leaving?

Danny!

Will: She's leaving.

Dave: Wait.

Will: Ow.

Jason: What the hell?

Will: Come on, come on get up.

(gentle music)

Jason: I cannot believe how old some of this crap is.

Will: Pretty great, right?

It's like a time capsule.

Jason: There's some of dad's old plaques in here.

You may want to put these up, you know you being the...

Will: You all right man, did you see a snake or something?

Jason: My god, I didn't even think they still existed anymore.

Will: It's Arthur Jellyman, it's your old namesake.

What was my guy's name, Mr. Pibb?

Jason: Mister P.B.

Will: Right, P.B.

Man I haven't thought about those puppet shows in years.

They were great though, huh?

You okay?

Jason: It's like you said, man, kids want to idolize their dads.

What's my kid going to idolize?

I just wanted to do something special.

Something that my kid could be proud of

and look where it's gotten me.

Will: Jay, your kid's not even born yet.

You think they're going to care about any of that stuff?

Jason: You did.

Izzie does.

You followed in Dad's footsteps and now Izzie's going to follow in yours.

Will: Yeah and you took your name from the damn puppet Dad made

and wear his captain's hat when you performed.

Will: I thought it was cool that Dad fought fires

and you thought it was cool he made puppets for his kids.

Doesn't matter what it is, kids just love their fathers

and every kid's going to find his own thing.

Course, none of that's going to matter unless you pull your head

out of your ass and find someway to make things right with Danny.

Now come on, quit being a girl and help me with these boxes.

Rachel: How're you holding up, kiddo?

So how long do I have to keep him?

I guess you want that.

Where you headed?

Danny: Therapy.

Jason: Danny, please call me back.

I love you.

Rache, you gotta help me here.

What do I do?

Rachel: I don't know, Jay.

She's upset.

Hey baby, what is it?

Izzie: I want to go to the park.

Rachel: Well maybe you can ask Uncle Jellyman.

He could use the sympathetic company right now.

Jason: Okay kiddo, let's go.

(gentle music)

(door knock)

Will: Hey Jay?

We're headed to your house.

Jason: Yeah okay.

Will: I think the cover story is that you are visiting mom for the weekend.

Jason: Can you tell Danny that I-

Will: Yeah.

Dave: His mother says unto the servants,

what's already said unto you, do it and there were-

Jason, I thought you were out of town tonight?

Jason: I got back early.

Dave: Absolutely, why don't you grab a seat and join us.

Jason: I'm going to grab a beer real quick and I'll be right back.

Dave: Okay.

And he says unto them, draw out now and-

Rachel: You okay?

(indistinct talking)

(ukulele playing)

Jason: (singing) Beautiful belly answer to my happiest prayers,

move if you listen hey, kick if you can hear me in there,

do you hear the lies I tell every once in a while

'bout the way I feel, it's true, please don't tell your mama

that I'm so afraid, you know it'll be okay

as long as you will love me too,

wonderful belly, I'm standing by,

I'm waiting right here, with so many questions

like I wonder if you'll have any hair?

Will you have my smile or maybe hers,

will your eyes be green or blue?

Doesn't really matter but I'm so afraid,

you know it'll be okay as long as you will love me too,

the way that I love you.

Danny: Please leave.

Not you, them.

Them, please leave, you guys have to go like now.

Will: Absolutely.

Jason: I get it now.

Danny: Yeah, me too.

(upbeat music)