Original subtitles

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Raise the flag of piracy

sing a song of victory

For glorious in battle are we

We've never known defeat we never will retreat

We live to hear the cannon roar

And terror is our semaphore

Notoriously loathsome are we

We rob the rich, the poor then steal a little more

Victory, we fight to win

Victory is ours again

We are the scourge of the land and sea

Beastly pirates are we

Masters of the briny sea

We'll go down in history

Courageous men who live by the sword

We deal in treachery, the kings of lechery

Raise the anchor, trim the sail

We raid tonight if winds prevail

Invincible, we fight to the end

United to a man, we need no battle plan

Victory, we fight to win

Victory is ours again

We are the scourge of the land and sea

Beastly pirates are we

It's so pitiful a sight to see them walk the plank

They squirm and cry for mercy regardless of their rank

Victory we fight to win

Victory is ours again

For we are the scourge of the land and sea

Beastly pirates are we

Victory, we fight to win

Victory is ours again

We are the scourge of the land and sea

Beastly pirates are we

Victory

That's how they did it in Hollywood...

with stars like Errol Flynn and Douglas Fairbanks.

Join me on the deck of the ship for the second part of the show.

We'll show you how the pirates really did it. A little sword fight.

Okay, join me up there.

Come along now, over here!

Introducing pirate gold. Get your pirate gold.

We're giving them away free.

Lovely ice cream.

And you, sir. A lovely free sample.

Bless you. Thank you, my child. 'Bye.

I'm with them.

Turn that thing down, okay?

Come on, hurry up!

Ladies, anybody want to learn swordsmanship...

from the master of cut and thrust?

Lunge and parry? In and out?

Yeah!

She'll do it.

You guys!

Here you are. Come on up here. That's it.

Sorry.

Not bad. Guess you'll have to do. What's your name?

Mabel!

Okay, Mabel, get the stick up.

Ol�.

Here, look. First...

atta girl, put both hands around. Two hands together.

And it's not ol�, it's touch�.

Meaning "touch."

Touch.

Now, less than a hundred years ago...

pirates really operated around here, raping and pillaging.

I'd hate to be pillaged.

Killing! Note the footwork!

Feint so, lunge so, and...

my point penetrates you.

Give her a hand, girls. Way to go. Come on down.

- Hey, Myrtle... - Mabel, okay?

Mabel, sorry. I'm taking my boat over to Pirate Rock...

to do some skin diving, look for treasure. Want to come?

Me? You're kidding.

No. I got a great boat. Bunks and everything.

Bring some of your friends along. It'll be great fun.

You, too? All of you?

Hey, stop it! Where's Mabel?

Quickly, let's get moving. Here she comes.

I thought you wouldn't make it.

Say good-bye, Mabel.

What's going on?

Stop fooling around. You can't leave her there!

Good-bye!

Go play with your Barbie dolls!

Hey, wait! It's me. Mabel! Wait!

Hey!

Hey, you guys, wait!

Fire!

Fire!

Here they come! I found your sword.

The last battle of Frederic's youth. Isn't he wonderful?

Stand by to repel boarders!

Captain!

I told you to order Chinese, but this is ridiculous!

Happy birthday. Something special, Frederic. Look out!

One moment, lads.

He is their captain.

Spare me!

An Irish tenor no less.

We could use an Irish tenor, lads!

Soprano. Even better.

Set sail!

Oh, better far to live and die

Under the brave, black flag I fly

Than play a hypocritical part

With a pirate head and a pirate heart

Away to the world across the seas

Where pirates all have law degrees

But I'll be true to the song I sing

And live and die a Pirate King

For

I am a Pirate King

You are, hurrah for a Pirate King

And it is, it is a glorious thing

to be the Pirate King

I am a Pirate King

You are, hurrah for a Pirate King

And it is, it is a glorious thing

to be the Pirate King

It is, hurrah for a Pirate King

hurrah for the Pirate King

When I venture forth to seek my prey

I crush my foes in a royal way

The ladies yield and the ships go down

Or is it the other way around?

But many a king in a gilded tower

If he wants to cling to pomp and power

Must manage somehow to get through

More dirty work than ever I do

For I am a Pirate King

You are, hurrah for a Pirate King

And it is, it is a glorious thing

to be the Pirate King

I am a Pirate King

You are, hurrah for a Pirate King

And it is, it is a glorious thing

to be the Pirate King

It is, hurrah for a Pirate King

I am the Pirate King

He tore our goddamn sail again!

Sew that up, love.

Today, Frederic, you join us as a full-fledged member of our band.

Your apprenticeship papers. 21 today.

Speech!

I'd hoped to spare you this.

Though as friends, I love you all.

But, today... Today I leave you forever.

What? Why, this is lunacy!

I cannot forget!

I cannot forget it was cutthroats such as you...

who murdered my family and left me an orphan.

Not fair, Freddy.

We're orphans ourselves. We would never hurt an orphan.

Yes, I know.

But I fulfilled my contract...

and I feel honor-bound to devote myself...

heart and soul to your extermination!

Extermination? That sounds a little harsh.

Such is my sense of duty.

If you conscientiously feel that it is your duty to destroy us...

we cannot blame you.

It's the way I've raised you.

I've been as low and vicious as I could.

But something inside...

tells me there's more to life. I know it!

More than piracy?

Lately, I've been restless.

I've been consumed by some inner fire.

All I think about is girls!

I've waited 20 years for this.

The sea, Frederic, is a jealous mistress.

But she is her own reward.

Believe me, you've missed nothing.

Have you missed anything these 20 years at sea, men?

- Sex! - What about love?

Love for a pirate is the kiss of a salt wind, the curve of a white sail...

the whisper of an enemy's well-slit throat. That's love, Frederic!

Show him, shipmates!

Dance! Dance!

I'll miss you. I'll miss you all very much.

But my mind is made up.

Oh, shit!

Then so be it.

My mistake. See you later.

I know you'll think me an old softy.

But in return for all your years of loyal service...

I make you captain of your own ship.

I shall command her with pride...

and someday...

There's always the someday, Freddy.

Grab him!

Hang five, honky!

Climbing over rocky mountain Skipping rivulet and fountain

Passing where the willows quiver

Passing where the willows quiver By the ever-rolling river

Mabel!

Oh, let her be! Who needs her?

She's a disgrace to the noble name of Stanley. Just look at her.

I wouldn't wear that dress to bed.

I think that's the whole idea.

Wash your mouth out.

What is she looking for?

Love.

She'll have a long wait.

She's the youngest and by noble custom, the eldest must marry first.

- Which makes me first. - Me second.

And me third.

Gee, we'll all be 50.

Let us gaily tread the measure

Make the most of fleeting leisure

Worship nature while we can

Far away from any man

Far away from any man

Make the most of fleeting leisure

Far away from any man

Climbing over rocky mountain

Do you believe that song?

Passing where the willows quiver

Passing where the willows quiver By the ever-rolling river

Swollen with the summer rain the summer rain

Let us gaily tread the measure Make the most of fleeting leisure

Worship nature while we can

Let us gaily tread the measure Make the most of fleeting leisure

Far away from any man

Let us gaily tread the measure Make the most of fleeting leisure

Far away from any man From any man

You always were a careless boy.

Thank you.

By the way, was it a definite no back there?

I don't want to hurt your feelings...

but tell me honestly...

compared to other women, are you beautiful?

I've been told so.

But lately?

By Samuel. Of course he was drunk at the time.

Oh, Freddy!

Come on, girls, come in.

It's lovely and warm.

Hi!

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to deflower you!

Help! A pirate! Run for your lives!

Pirate?

No, I'm not anymore!

Ladies, I'm not a pirate. I promise you.

Look, see? No tattoos, nothing! Girls!

When will I find love? Where will she be?

And if she's out there will she wait for me?

How will he know me? Will I know him?

Is there no end to all my questioning?

Can I believe

what I am seeing

what I am feeling?

Something so rare, watching her there

She makes my heart stall

Can I believe what I am feeling?

My head is reeling

He just looked my way

from the start I can say

I will give him everything

Strange emotions wash over me

Like the motion of the deepest sea

And I feel first love

You're all I've dreamed of

Love moves me inside

like the moon moves the tide

My first love

Some kind of miracle brought you here

Just when I'd given up hoping

From the moment when you first appeared

I could feel my whole life

opening in

First love

You're all I've dreamed of

Love moves me inside

like the moon moves the tide

My first love

My first love

And I promise to be true to you

My first love

Not bad.

Thanks.

Do you live around here?

I've never lived till now.

The good pirates arrived too late to save my parents, bless their souls.

But my mother hurled me through the flames into the King's arms...

and he raised me as his apprentice.

You poor thing. Pirates!

Like walking the plank, buried treasure, off with his head, and the Jolly Richard?

Roger.

Roger, I love it.

No, Frederic, without a "k".

Mabel, also without a "k". We've so much in common!

- Mabel. - Pretty bad, huh?

No, I love it.

I know this sounds silly...

but I think I love you.

I might even want to marry you.

That was a short love scene...

but, yes.

Oh, no, we have a dumb custom. There's got to be a way out.

We've got to see my father.

I haven't had much practice seeing fathers.

He's just like any other ordinary major general.

Major general? Oh, no!

Frederic, trust me.

Wow. Come here.

I thought the bells came afterwards.

Helmsman, hard of...

Hard of...

Reverse! Hard of backwards. No. Sam, what is that saying?

- Hard of hearing! - Hard of...

The pirates have lust in their hearts.

Your sisters are in danger of their virtue, even their lives!

Come back here, you sex-crazed bilge rats!

This is mutiny!

Mabel, don't move!

A little close to the curb.

This is one time when you're not going to rape...

pillage and plunder!

Really?

Take it easy, lads. Don't hurt or maim them.

Oh-ho, Frederic!

Are your loins so hot you'd have them all and none for us?

Who dares disturb our dalliance?

- I do! - What?

Well, we've saved the best till last.

Keep out of this, Mabel!

You'll be hung!

I am, and very well, thank you.

Set Frederic and my sisters free or die!

Ol�!

Touch�!

Captain!

Here!

You see, the blade grows heavy.

She cannot raise it to my heart.

I'm not aiming at your heart.

I'll see you get a thousand lashes!

Promises, promises.

If you love half as well as you fight...

No! Mabel, tell him!

What could she say to foil our sport?

My father... Yes?

Is... Yes?

...a major general.

A major general?

- That'll do it. - Yes, he's a major general!

Yes, he is a major general.

Yes, yes, I am a major general.

- Papa! - Not now, darling, I'm on!

I am the very model of a modern major general

I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral

I know the kings of England I quote the fights historical

From Marathon to Waterloo In order categorical

I'm very well acquainted with matters mathematical

I understand equations both simple and quadratical

About binomial theorem I am teeming with a lot of news

With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse

Darling, this is my big number. Now play along with this.

Our lives may depend on it.

I am very good at integral and differential calculus

I know the scientific names of beings animalculous

In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral

I am the very model of a modern major general

Verse two.

I comprehend contemporary culture North American

I straighten more piratical erections than Bo Derek can

I'm into EST and all the rest I've undergone analysis

I've jogged beyond decrepitude to permanent paralysis

My muse is into music With my credit I won't trouble you

From R&B to S&M, cross over C&W

To grooving with the Doobies in my Malibu white-souling tones

Man, I'm older than the Beatles but I'm younger than the Rolling Stones

My military knowledge for I'm plucky and adventury

Embraces MASH and Star Wars and the 22nd century

Yes, sir, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral

I am the very model of a modern major general

Now that I've introduced myself...

I'd like some idea of what's going on in my garden!

Papa, we, I mean, Frederic and I...

Permit me, sir. I'll explain in two words.

It's a beach party, and I'm Frankie Avalon.

And I'm Annette Funicello.

Don't listen to them. They're pirates!

The famous pirates of Penzance!

What? The pirates of Penzance?

The rogues who stole my family's fortune on the high seas...

a score of years ago?

Our last score was years ago.

All except this gentleman.

He was a pirate, but he'll now go straight, as my husband.

Hey, you fox!

I'll be the best man, naturally.

An idea.

Tell me, kind sir...

do you know what it is to be...

an orphan?

Oh, shit!

An orphan? And a fine singer, too.

You may go. You're all free.

Come, lads, we've a ship to float. Free her keel, and raise that chain doodad.

- Anchor. - No, Sam, just disappointment.

Another 20 years at sea will ease this petty melancholy.

For I am the Pirate King And I'll buy this orphan thing

We'll go away without dismay.

But we'll be returning.

- Are you all right? - Fine.

I don't trust these guys.

Not that fine.

I'd thought I lost you.

I'll light a thousand candles for the luck that kept you safe.

Luck? I almost took that twit.

You did well for a woman...

but now there's a man's work to be done.

I'll keep watch till the ship is gone.

Woman?

Papa!

About this custom.

Yes, what about this custom?

I'm the eldest at 23.

Thirty-three.

Back to the castle, the lot of you.

The custom is irrelevant.

Youngest or oldest, I cannot allow you to marry this penniless adventurer.

Why not?

He's a nasty pirate person and besides...

he's poor.

They're anchoring outside the cove!

Common fellow.

But if he wasn't poor?

Diamonds, rubies, gold coins?

- What a nice boy. - Even if it wasn't his money?

- For your happiness. Whose money? - Your money.

The family treasures, stolen by the pirates.

Suppose Frederic recovered them...

minus expenses, attorneys' fees, my commission...

If he fails?

If he fails, we'll shack up.

We swim out to the ship, board it...

get the stolen treasure and swim back. Easy.

What's the matter?

I've never seen a woman like that before.

The body is an eight.

The brain is a 10. So let's go!

Where is it?

It's not here.

Well, where is it?

It fell overboard on some uncharted reef.

- But there is a map. - Where?

- The King's got it. - The King's got it.

How do we get it?

It's tattooed on his back!

But no one has seen it. He never takes his shirt off in public.

- I'll make him take his shirt off. - How?

Get something to write on and meet me below.

Ol�!

Sam?

Reveal yourself!

Or die!

Nymph!

Nymphet.

Nympho.

I was in the neighborhood and saw your light on.

Today, you tried to kill me.

Some people send flowers.

I fancy a chap...

I try to kill him.

Come on, my little nymphet, you can trust me.

Is that a dagger in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?

Why don't you...

take off your shirt?

No.

Tell me. What's the age of consent around here?

Eighteen.

Good. I'm old enough.

How about a drink first?

Let's get sloshed. Help yourself. There's some on the windowsill.

Cheers.

Bottoms up.

Ladies' choice. I like that.

My love, put an old sailor out of his misery.

Let's try taking your shirt off.

How about you first?

Because I'm shy, and I'm also a feminist.

That means the man goes first.

Wonderful. Nice to meet a woman who knows her place.

Two hundred and two pushups a day.

I need some fresh air.

No!

Goose bumps. I've got goose bumps.

Pushups.

I recommend pushups.

I'll fix the window, then we'll fix your goose bumps, my nympho.

I know all about art. I just don't know what I like.

This is a very...

Surely you don't tease?

There's just one little thing that I forgot to tell you.

Are you ready for this? Go for it.

Oh, this is just perfect!

Those muscles.

I'm gonna faint.

That's so good. Perfect.

Just a little more to the left. That's great. Yeah, I like that.

That's good. That's very good. I like that.

Just a little bit to the...

That's so good!

I can't stand it anymore. If you don't stop, I'll die.

More! More!

That's wonderful. More.

Just a little to the left.

My God. Don't stop. This is incredible.

You are really turning me on, I must say.

This is wonderful.

Are you ready yet?

There's just one more thing.

There is?

You and your little games.

I love an interesting woman.

Where are you, my little nymphet?

Be gentle, Mabel.

Mabel, your goose bumps have grown.

So that was sex? What's there to get so excited about?

Where's the map? What are those things for?

I put a hole in the ship, and it's sinking. They were my friends.

Look out! Raiders aboard!

Help!

Jump! I hope it's not cold!

Cowards.

I can see you now! Stop swimming. You'll regret this.

The boat is sinking. Sink! Sink!

Keep pumpin' Blowin'

Hey, it's an old wives' story

Said it's an old wives' tale

I say that love is glory

I tell you love's so frail

Loving needs a bandage

and intensive care

And it's a disadvantage

when you're playin' fair

If you're treading water and romance is on the slide

Don't you know you have to swallow

something more than water

It's your pride

I've huffed and puffed

Just to keep love going

I'm done, I've had enough

Of pumpin' and blowin'

- Keep pumpin' - Blowin'

- Keep pumpin' - Blowin'

You know a woman's labor

is never, ever done

So could you do me a favor

and, father, tell your son

If he's treading water and romance is on the slide

Don't you know you have to swallow

something more than water

It's your pride

I've huffed and puffed

Just to keep love going

I'm done, I've had enough

Of pumpin' and blowin'

I've huffed and puffed

Just to keep love going

I'm done, I've had enough

Of pumpin' and blowin'

Keep pumpin' Blowin'

Keep pumpin' Blowin'

Papa, we're home.

Big surprise. Frederic, over here.

Right on cue.

There's more room over here. Bring it over here. Right in the corner.

Yeah. You're gonna love this, Papa. Right here, on the floor.

Actually, the table might be better...

because when we open it, it'll look really great.

Look, we've restored the family fortune.

All your sentimental treasures, gold bars, Krugerrands.

- Break? - No. Just a little bent.

Pink ball in the corner pocket.

The pirates are at least 20 minutes behind us.

Plenty of time for your army to ambush them.

Army? What army?

I blew it.

Papa, Frederic will raise an army.

In yonder village, there are yeomen, stout of limb and spirit...

dedicated to the rules of law, but...

they lack a leader.

Of course, you'll lead them.

What? Me?

No, my dear. I've had my moments of glory.

Why be selfish? My boy, the job is yours.

Rid me of these villains and Mabel's hand is yours...

not to mention the best parts.

I'll ride straight away to lead these good men.

I've been at sea since I was one. How would I know how to ride a horse?

Well, I gave it my best shot.

Famous last words, Frederic?

Tailor-made, Frederic.

If it's all the same to you...

I'd rather be buried at sea.

Ruth.

Plain old Ruth.

Here, Commander.

Come on, Ruth. Was I that bad to you?

Able seaperson Frederic, prepare to die.

No.

That was for the life preservers.

You're coming back with us.

No, because I've sworn to vanquish you all!

Freddy, you'll be the death of me.

Gladly.

My once apprentice. I taught you all you know.

Don't make me teach you how to die.

Geronimo!

What's the matter? Losing your grip?

Can't we find somewhere safe to kill each other?

Careful.

You might cut yourself.

Cheers.

- Out of breath? - Save yours. It may be your last.

Head of the family.

Get out of this one, Commander.

Hello, sailor.

We must stop meeting like this.

Drop it, or...

- Nuts! - Them, too.

Why don't you get on with what we came for?

Heart or throat?

Heart.

The Force, Frederic.

Remember the Force.

- Did I teach you that? - No, I saw it in a movie.

Listen, you two...

Oh, men. Kill him now and you'll never hear his secret.

Secret? What secret?

Very good.

Your deed of apprenticeship.

The fine print. Your date of birth?

- February 29, 1856. - A leap year.

- I don't get it. - You were apprenticed to us...

- Till my 21st year. - No.

Until your 21st birthday. Leap years are every four years.

Going by birthdays, you're still only five and a quarter.

- What? - I merely make you aware of it.

I leave the rest to your sense of duty.

Yes, duty.

Duty and honor are all I have.

That's the one good thing you taught me.

So whatever it costs me, I will do my duty.

Good lad.

Then I guess I must tell you.

General Stanley, Mabel's father...

he's got your treasure hidden here.

And he's raising an army to slaughter you. Us.

A fight? Us? Splendid!

Nobody loves a stoolie.

Love? Oh, my God. Mabel.

Give me an hour to say farewell forever.

An hour? When I was your age, I could say farewell three times in an hour.

But not forever. We're taking the ladies with us.

What? Mabel would rather die.

That can be arranged. We march on the castle tonight!

They are doomed!

I know she'll never understand

I gave my word before we met

So I just can't go breaking it

She'll say she thinks I'm out of touch

I've let my duty, honor bound

come between the love we've found

How can I live without her

when she's all I'm livin' for?

How can I live without her

live like I did before?

Now I can see through her eyes

how good love can be

How can I live without her

when she's gone?

No matter what the future brings

I'll hold the memories in my heart

No matter how long we're apart

She'll always be the only one

Her name forever on my lips

She's slipping through my fingertips

How can I live without her

when she's all I'm living for?

How can I live without her

live like I did before?

Now I can see through her eyes

how good love can be

How can I live without her?

How can I live without her?

How can I live without her when she's gone?

When she's gone

She's all I'm living for

How can I live like I did before?

How can I live without her?

Live without who?

What are you doing in there?

Oh, hiding.

Hiding? My Frederic, hiding?

It cannot be the lionheart trembles at the coming conflict.

My love, a wimp.

No, Mabel.

A terrible disclosure's been made.

Then zip it up.

You mean, when I'm 84, you'll still be 21?

Could be fun.

No, Mabel.

The tragedy completely eludes you, doesn't it?

Look, don't you see, I won't even be able to marry you until...

1940!

You're not gay, are you?

No!

You and that Pirate King get around...

in those feminine pleated shirts and all that leather.

Hey, I'm not prejudiced.

What has this country got a Navy for? Screw them if they can't take a joke.

You're weird.

All kidding aside, Fred, tell me this.

Are you a virgin?

- I don't know. - Near enough.

- But you'd have me die one? - No!

You're putting your sense of duty before me and the lives of my family.

But I have to.

It's my duty, that's all I know.

That's all I know. Frederic!

These are the 1880s.

You cannot live by the outmoded class conventions of the neo-imperialist society.

- Find your true center. - What? You mean Zen piracy?

Have you ever worn a whalebone corset?

No, we established that, didn't we? It chokes and strangles!

I won't be choked by someone else's dumb ideas of custom and duty!

Would you, Harry?

Never to know the rich and wondrous person beating and throbbing in me!

Can you see me throbbing?

I see.

I see, I'm throbbing, too.

Your duty is to us. Tell him, Harry! To our love!

You know, you're right.

You're right. Love is everything!

Love is everything. Now go massacre those oafs.

I can't.

You say you love me?

As midnight loves the moon.

But who am I? You've only known me for a day or two.

I'm a sailor who spent all his life at sea...

and knows nothing, nothing about life...

or ladies.

Only love.

And if I should change to keep your love...

changing it just might lose it.

Then that's the bottom line? To hold you, I have to let you go?

See you in 1940.

But I'll try for 1939.

Love, show me the way

when I am lost and hope begins to fade

Love, timeless and true

whenever I need strength I look to you

Tonight

My faith is strong enough

to see me through tonight

He's gotta trust in love

the way I do

We gotta hold on tight

tonight

Hold on

Nothing's gonna stop us if we just believe in love

Hold on

There's nothing under heaven we can't overcome

Hold on

Love, I see a way

How the tide will turn and the part I'll play

It's all part of a plan

You don't have to know or understand

Tonight

I'll see it all unfold before my eyes, tonight

With fortune on my side

and love to guide me

The future is looking bright

tonight

Hold on

Nothing's gonna stop us if we just believe in love

Hold on

There's nothing under heaven we can't overcome

Hold on

And though the road ahead may be unknown

We'll make it if we hold on

Sorry, Meadows.

How the hell are you, Meadows?

Papa, Frederic has just crossed over to the enemy.

There's barely time for you to go lead our force.

Lead? I can't lead.

I'm planning strategy.

- Papa. - Just a snort or two for courage.

Courage?

Well, I'm a theoretical soldier.

The very model of a modern major...

I am the very, very...

Won't go off. It's not loaded.

But you are.

Papa, I'm gonna lead our fearsome force against the foe.

- How much to keep this quiet? - Now, listen, young lady...

No, I'll tell you. If we win, a full pardon for Frederic.

That's blackmail.

A full pardon.

Damn cheek!

With women leading armies, we'll never have another decent war again.

So true. So true.

When the foeman bares his steel

We uncomfortable feel

And we find the wisest thing

Is to slap our chests and sing

For when threatened by the brutes

And your heart is in your boots

There is nothing brings it round Like the trumpet's martial sound

Like the trumpet's martial sound

Tarantara! Tarantara!

Sergeant, approach! Pirates at large!

Pirates?

This is a day for death or glory.

That is not a pleasant way of putting it.

Take heart! Frederic should've led you, but I shall!

Not bleeding likely. You're a girl.

Now, nick off.

Yes, nick off!

We'll see what your inspector thinks of this!

One moment.

I must take some notes.

My notebook.

Name of the fugitive?

- "Ferzjeteef"? - Fugitive.

F-U...

Up yours, too, froggy.

Oh, fugitive.

- Name? - Frederic.

Strange name for a girl.

My name is Stanley.

- Still a strange name for a girl. - Mabel Stanley.

Tell me, Mabel...

about these pirates.

Parrots?

The pirates. They're on their way to the castle, led by the Pirate King.

This Pirate King, does he have a horse?

A nurse? Yeah, Ruth.

I don't want to know its name. How fast does it run?

You want to know how fast a nurse runs?

An horse. What do you think this is, a parrot?

- Parrot? - A parrot!

"Polly wants a cracker!" Stupid girl.

These other pirates, their names.

Long John Silver, with the wooden leg. He wears a parrot on his shoulder.

Then there's Ruth, she's a horse, I mean, a nurse.

Why don't you just follow me to the fort?

Fort?

Pick up those hoofprints as evidence.

Back to the castle!

These pirates won't know what hit them!

We'll put an end to their terror, butchery, arson, and rape!

Not to mention robbery, flogging, kidnapping, and cop killing!

Though to us it's evident

These intentions are well meant

Such expressions don't appear

Calculated men to cheer

Who are going to meet their fate

In a highly nervous state

Still to us it's evident These intentions are well meant

These intentions are well meant

Tarantara! Tarantara!

Lads!

We are the pirates

We are the pirates

Out upon the ocean waves

we instill fear and loathing

Loathing, we are very, very loathed

Marauders with shiny swords

and very fancy clothing

Clothing, we are very well clothed

Global supremacy is what we gun for

We raise our flag and watch the cowards run

We are the pirates

Rulers of the high seas

We can be irate Sometimes very nasty

We wheel, we deal We steal their thunder

We shoot, we loot We put 'em under

We are the pirates

Shoot, loot, plunder

We can be irate shoot, loot asunder

The pirates, we're the pirates

Put your backs to it, lads.

One...

No, let's try the pyramid.

Nothing we like better Than a dreadful brawl

Locked in battle See our victims fall

Oh, we are the pirates

Batten down the hatches

We can be irate

Aye, eye patches

The pirates

The pirates

We are the pirates

Now I suppose we have to take the other one back.

Oh, shit!

Two, three!

Avon calling.

With cat-like tread Upon our prey we steal

In silence dread Our cautious way we feel

No sound at all! We never speak a word

A fly's foot-fall Would be distinctly heard

Tarantara, tarantara

So stealthily the pirate creeps While all the household soundly sleeps

Come, friends who plough the sea

Steady navigation, shirking devastation

Let's vary piracy

With a little lechery!

Come, friends who plough the sea

Steady navigation, shirking devastation

Let's vary piracy

With a little lechery!

Mabel! Oh, I missed you!

That's nice. How have you been, Fred?

How have I been? Come out and let me hold you.

At least a kiss.

What is this?

We're enemies now. I thought you'd remember.

- You don't think I want it this way? - It's up to you.

Okay.

If that's the way you want it. Good-bye, Mabe.

Good-bye.

Damn you!

I love you. I'll always love you, come what may.

We'll all be murdered in our beds, "come what may."

Well, run, for God's sake. Run.

Death before dishonor!

Besides, running in one of these things is a real bitch.

Frederic!

Duty calls.

Enemies?

Enemies.

Frederic!

Good-bye. Coming!

Come, friends who plough the sea

Steady navigation, shirking devastation

Let's vary piracy

With a little lechery

Seize him!

Not him, you idiots! Him!

Come, lads, the ladies are waiting.

Get off!

Frederic, help us!

Frederic, please.

Will no one save us?

Good evening, all.

Hello, hello... Hello.

What's going on here, then?

"It is my duty to warn you that anything you say may be taken down..."

Nick off!

Come on!

Come on, girls, hurry. This way. Hurry!

- Mabel, hide! - No, you look after them.

Mabel, no!

It's suicide!

Sam, stop fooling around.

Get off me.

Help!

Watch out, John!

Look out, John!

I want it ended right now, John.

"You have the right to remain silent..."

Oh, no, not a pie fight.

Not anchovy!

Pizza.

You got all the anchovies.

Can I believe what I am seeing

What I am feeling

Something so rare Watching her there

She makes my heart stall

War is hell.

Charge!

Get out of my gymnasium, all of you!

Charge! What's going on here?

You there, knock it off!

- No, put him down. - I'll deal with this.

Enough! Enough!

We are all orphans.

No more Mr. Nice Guy.

You have taken advantage of my better nature...

my compassion for humanity...

my gentle kindness to all creatures great and small.

Rip their lungs out!

Feed them to the sharks, beginning with her!

Wait a minute!

This is my dream.

I want a happy ending.

I want a happy ending!

A happy ending?

- A full pardon for Frederic. - No.

He's done nothing to be pardoned for.

At every turn of fate and fortune, he has simply done his duty.

Kneel, Frederic.

Arise, Sir Frederic.

I reward you with the fairest prize at my command.

That is, if she's still at my command.

My youngest daughter, Mabel.

The custom! You've got to do something, I can't get married till they are!

We are helpless.

It's your dream.

I found your glasses.

You and you. And, you and you.

And you and you.

And you, and up there, you.

You and you.

And you and you.

You're a problem.

That was no dream I had last night.

I loved a woman. I want that woman for my wife.

I accept.

But that was you last...

In that case, lads...

I accept.

But I thought you...

You and he...

I don't get it.

You will.

No more sad times

mad, or bad times

No more minor keys

Life's for living

sharing, giving

Life's for you and me

When the going's rough and you've had enough

Leave your troubles and your woe

Turn the other cheek and forget your grief

Make a friend out of your foe

Give me a happy ending

every time

We'll kiss and make up

That's a very peaceful sign

Give me a happy ending

every time

Don't be unhappy

everything will work out fine

No more fighting

scratching, biting

No more police and thieves

All is sweetness

light, and neatness

Yes, sir.

No, thanks.

Please.

When you've had your fill of life's ugly pills

The sadness and the pain

Take the box of pills and attendant ills

Flush them down the drain

Give me a happy ending

every time

We'll kiss and make up

That's a very peaceful sign

Give me a happy ending

every time

Don't be unhappy

everything will work out fine

Everything will work out fine

Give me a happy ending

every time

We'll kiss and make up

That's a very peaceful sign

Your name wouldn't by any chance be Frederic, would it?

No.

I don't suppose you came looking for me out of a sense of duty?

Not exactly.

214, take one!

Someone better take my gum.

I just want to say that it's not all sunglasses and autographs.

ENGLISH SDH

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