All language subtitles for girls5eva.s01e08.720p.web.h264-ggez_track3_[eng]

- Obviously, Jingle Ball
isn't happening this year,

but I got us a major gig,

the national anthem
at the WNHL quarter finals.

- Yes.
- So, all we need is someone

to round out our harmonies,

bring power vocals and
a transcendent star quality.

- And above all, loyal.
- Yes.

- * Pedophiles, pedophiles *

* The cast of "Friends"
is pedophiles *

* Checks in the-- *
- You know, I actually

heard that.
- Next!

- Uh, FYI, my voice drifts,

so I can't solo,

but I can end songs with sultry
femininasty phrases.

Mm, I'ma drink you
like medicine, boy.

- Ab--absolutely not.
[chuckles nervously]

It's not that I'm threatened,

it's that I just--

I hate you.

- * I just wanna see
the palm trees *

* I will try and shake away
this disease *

- I think this is Everclear.

- * Watch the world die *

- Next!
- Ugh, you guys,

maybe this is just too hard.

We could use a triple threat.
Voice, face--

both: Smells.
- No!

Hey, none of that talk!

We have to just trust--
[deep breath]

That if we keep trying,
something amazing will happen.

- Hi, I'm Baby.

And just to give you all
a taste of my vocals,

this is one of your old ones,

though, I do disagree
with the content.

- Fair.

- [soulfully]
* Dream *

- [whispers]
Oh, my God, yes, yes.

- * Girlfriends *

* 'Cause our dads are dead *

* They gave us some advice *

* But we forgot
what they said *

- Whoa!
- Oh, my gosh!

- Wow.

- Baby, how would you like to--
[cell phone chimes]

- Oh, snap.

I just got into nursing school.
Bye.

- Oh, wait.
- No, no.

- No bye.
- No, no, no, no.

- Baby!
- No, no.

- Come back, Baby!
- Baby, come back.

[upbeat music]

all singing:
* Gonna be famous 5eva *

* 'Cause forever's too short *

* It's too short *

* Gonna be famous three ever *

* 'Cause that's one
more than together *

* Gonna be famous 5eva *

* 'Cause forever's too short *

* So what are you
waiting five? *

* "Girls5eva" *

[dramatic tone]

- * Oh, Danny Boy, the pipes *

* The pipes are calling *

* From glen to glen *

* And down the mountainside *

[grunts]

[straining]

* Falling *

Ugh!

- I loved your vocals,
and your backstory was moving.

But you left your neck
unprotected,

so it's a no for me.

It's an honor
to be part of history.

AWS is the first show
created entirely

by a ratings algorithm.

And I love the other judges.

We go for it.

- You were singing up here,

but I need you
to fight down here.

- [laughs]

Totally, yeah, girl.

That was vibes.

- Finding the American Warrior
Singer is not gonna be easy

because those skillsets
rarely overlap.

But that's the journey.

* *

- Hey.

So, um, do you know
how much we're getting paid

for this hockey show
if we end up doing it?

- Well, the first offer
was cab fare.

But I really think
that if we agree

and back each other up,
we can convince them

that we live in Tarrytown.
- Oh, that's smart.

It's just, you know,

Kev isn't taking things great.

You know,
he doesn't believe in divorce,

same as dinosaur bones.

And he's frozen all
of our credit cards.

- I want you to breathe.
It's gonna be okay.

- No, it's not!

My ring finger acrylic
snapped off.

And I can't afford
to get it fixed

because the salon
won't accept sconces!

- Honey.

Okay, look.

Divorce is expensive as hell.

And you need some money
coming in that's just yours.

And until we really take off,
I think you need a job.

- But what?
- Well, what jobs have you had?

- Daughter, pop star,
stay-at-home pop star.

- Hm.
Okay.

Well, you know what?
You are a talented person.

- Thank you.
- And I think

we should just
focus on your strengths

and your interests.

- Smiling, being in shape.
- Mm-hmm?

- I'm good at makeup, mirrors.
- Right.

- Uh, walking in heels?

Kicking, twirling.

I'm very flexible.
[chuckles]

Being announced.

Huh.
- Hm.

- Guys, guys.
Whew.

I think I have something
that can help us.

- I thought you were gonna
save that for Summer's 40th.

- Oh, you know, I only
celebrate half birthdays.

- So, Gloria and I watched
a ton of YouTube vids,

and we made...

this.

- [gasps]
Oh, my gosh!

I know that ghost!

- Hey, y'all.
I'm Ashley from Girls5eva.

- Hi, Ash.
- And you're listening to...

- Oh, she's not talking to me.
- Zazz 104,

the beat of Grand Rapids.

- It's cool, right?
- Yes!

- I only loaded up a bunch of
our old footage into this app.

If we can get
a much bigger tablet,

yeah, I think she can
perform with us.

- She-Visor, the only birth
control that's also a hat.

- Those do not work.

I know a ton
of She-Visor babies.

- The algorithm's almost done
learning her voice,

so she'll be able to say
or sing anything!

- Aw, it's so good
to see her again!

- And if you miss a day,
no sweat.

Just wear two visors tomorrow.

* She-Visor *

- Aw!

[upbeat music]

- The one second of singing
before you got flattened

was so smooth,

I got butter in my ears.

- Congratulations.

You've advanced to round two.

Please go take your genitalia.

- Cut.
[bell dings]

Resetting.
- [humming]

- Sorry.
Can you stop humming?

We just need clean audio
to hear the singers crying out

on the medical table.

- Of course.

Hey, Stet.
- Yo, yo, girl.

- Do the judges ever
kick off the show

with a killer performance?
You and I could sing

and--and Flex could do
push-ups or something?

- Not today, Wick.
It's leg day.

- Hey, I get it.
Wickie, I've been there.

When I got my first gig
judging "In The Shower Singer,"

I was all,
"Put me in the shower.

I got pipes
and a cool stomach."

But don't fight
the transition to judge.

This side of the table
is where it's at.

You're still famous,
but there's no gigging,

no living on a tour bus,
no harsh critiques

of your very personal album
"White Jazz."

- I liked that album.

First music I'd ever heard.
- Word.

Now I got a pension,
a bananas house,

20-year-old wife,
19-year-old surrogate.

- I know.
It is cushy.

My water-bra's Pellegrino,
but don't you ever miss

that energy you get
when you're performing?

- I get it other ways now.

"Fortnite" kills,
certain bowel movements,

impregnating my surrogate--
shh, don't tell my wife

we didn't use science
and tubes, okay?

- There's my girl.
Ha, ha.

The studio likes
what they've been seeing

and they're offering you
a thousand-year deal.

- A thousand years?
- It's meant to wow.

And there's a small clause
where your body could be used

in a show called "Corpse Wars,"
but it's highly unlikely.

Congratulations, Wickie.

- I can finally pay off
all my debt.

- Welcome to the family.

At me.
Hand it back.

- We do this off camera too?

- Ladies and one gentleman,

welcome to the Burt's Bees
Equestrian Center.

Before we get to this
morning's WNHL matchup,

here to sing our national
anthem, Girls5eva!

[scattered applause]

all:
* Oh, say can you see *

* By the dawn's early light *

* What so proudly we hailed *

* At the twilight's
last gleaming *

[beeping]
- Sequence quit unexpectedly.

Rebooting.

Scanning data.

all: * And the rocket's
red glare *

- Free shipping
on all Crocs purses.

Mitch McConnell blindsided!

Wow, Gloria.
- I think she's reading
my emails.

- McConnell and all his
dark money buddies

are crying real tears.

- Unsubscribe!
- Attention valued customer,

your Megan Rapinoe silicone
face and torso has shipped.

Tracking number 428.

Accessing camera role.

- Oh, no, you're not.
[clanking]

- You suck!
- We're Girls5eva!

Check us out on Spotify!

- Thank you.
Please leave the ice.

- Congratulations,
Dr. Gloria McManus.

You've made
New York Magazine's

annual list of top doctors.

- I made top docs?
- Our annual list...

- I've been gunning for
top docs for, like, ten years.

I don't know how to process
the failure

and success at the same time.

- We're still gonna get
our cab fare, right?

We're going to Tarrytown!

- And now, here by choice,
feeling empowered,

please welcome Summer,
her actual name!

[rock music playing]

[audience whistles]

* *

- Take my money, pole queen!

- Yeah!
- Yeah!

- Whoo!

- Oh, my God,
this is easy for me!

- Whoo!
- Hell, yeah.

* *

- Yeah!

* *

- [laughs]

- Okay, guys.

I know I'm amazing at this,

and I could definitely
make a million dollars here...

- Yeah, you could.
- Whoo!

- But I don't know.

I don't want to drive
to Midtown every day.

- Aiding Midtown?
Yeah, that's my deal!

* *

- Hi.

This is Summer,
for Nance Trace.

- [sniffs]

Did you brush before seeing me?

- Get used to it.

That's the smell of respect,
you top doc, you.

[cell phone ringing]

[quirky music]

- Cut.
[bell dings]

Let's reset.

- This is as thick as the one

I signed with Larry way back.

- Well, the difference between
that and this

is you will make money.

Constant Productions
is offering you stability

in an unstable business.

Of course, they're buying
your exclusivity,

so no outside projects.

You can't be on
"Masked Singer,"

no "Silent Night"
at the tree lighting ceremony.

You can't even
fart twice in a row.

That would be considered
a percussion performance,

and they could terminate
your contract immediately.

But, Wickie,
for the rest of your life,

when you go out to dinner,

someone in a sweatshirt
will bother you for a selfie.

- Promise?
- Yes.

- Well, that was the last
willing participant in Atlanta.

So, tomorrow, it's Wilmington,
Camden, Newark,

Queens, then lunch.

- Queens, New York?

- Said like someone
with unfinished business.

What?
I'm emotionally intelligent.

- Sorry,
can we reschej rehearsal?

I'm starting
a new side hustle.

And don't worry about
what it is or who it's with.

Would you ask a man
that question?

[phone chimes]
- Dawn, sorry.

I am working on a lady
with shark mouth,

and I am gonna be here
all night.

- Fuckers.

Guess it's just
you and me, Ash.

- Honestly, too many people
left for this to be fun.

Now that it's just
the two of us,

it's feeling kind of weird.

- Don't quote your sex tape
at me.

- Sorry,
the guy from "Smallville."

[doorknob rattles]

- I'm entering
without knocking.

If you're having sex,
please make it interesting.

- Wickie.

- The show's on tour,
so I thought I'd come by

and bring you a little rent.

- Oh, God, please.
Don't give me guilt money.

- You let Ghislaine
and I stay here.

You treated us like family.

I threw out a valentine
your son made you

to make room
for a "Vogue Italy"

I wanted to see
when I walked in the apartment.

- Okay, I'll take it.

So, how's it all going?

- Busy.

We shot five seasons of
"Warrior Singer" in two weeks.

They offered me
a thousand-year deal,

but I don't know that I want
to tie up my corpse that long.

- Wow.

Congratulations.
- Thanks.

- I'm good, too.

Yeah, really good.

Everything is tight.
[giggles]

We played a show
the other night

that brought an entire
hockey arena to tears, so...

- Dawn, it's Larry.

Glad you called.
Good news.

- What is that?
Is that Ashley?

- There's been a small mutiny
on a Carnival cruise

and the original entertainers
were,

to put it politely, beheaded.

- Yeah.

- Dawn, are you okay?

- Fine!

It's all a mess, Wickie.

"Four Stars" isn't catching on,
'cause apparently,

I didn't bribe enough DJs.

It only has a 103 plays
on Spotify, and that's all me.

[laughs]

And yet,
I'm still not giving up.

Because for the first time
in my life,

I'm not taking no
for an answer.

And you know what?
Honestly, it feels kinda good.

It's pointless,
but it's what I'm doing.

- Larry again.
Flag on the play.

Carnival went with Ken Bone.

Sorry, but the man has Dory.

- Yeah, so if you're back
because you're not sure about

signing your big girl contract,

let me help clear that up
for you.

This is what not compromising
looks like.

This is living the dream, baby!

[chokes]

Oh, Max put a little
Lego man in that one.

[coughs]

I just swallowed
a little Lego man.

I could feel his hat
going down.

- Okay.

Listen to me.

I have been where you are.

It is not going to be easy,
so let me tell you this.

If you are making a music
video, the Ferrari company

cannot legally keep you
from filming a test drive.

Most USO invites are fronts
for human trafficking.

And you can throw your body

in front of Clive Davis's
golf cart,

but you cannot make him stop.

Godspeed, girl.

- Aw, thanks, Wickie.

- I was gonna have
a moving company

come pick up Ghislaine,

but I think
you should keep her.

[soft music]

* *

- [sighs]

- Volume up, ladies.

Because I'm seriously
obsessed with these.

They're called S'LEAKS,

and they're
the hottest shapewear

that you could do anything in.

Periods, urine, solids,

shit sneezes, gigglesquirts,

and random slimes.

You can have a baby in these

and then wear them to the club
that night.

That's freedom.

- Perfect, Summer.

Now, if ya have a shit sneeze,

let's go for one.
- Okay.

- Okay, DJ Face World.

We're gonna do a little
water flossing, you ready?

- Why did Matt send you?

I won't take off my helmet.

- No, no.
Just, come here.

- No.
- Where you goin'?

- No, no one's seen
my real face.

[tender piano music playing]

- * Nobody knows me like you *

* Nobody's touched me
like you *

* Every day, I hope and pray *

* To see you again *

* You're Le-Le-Le-Le-Lego man *

* And I worry you might have
a la-la-la-la-la-little sword *

* Lego man *

* Le-Le-Le-Lego, Lego *

* Don't le-le-let go, let go *

- I work with rescue dogs.

Come on.
- No!

- * Don't le-le-let go,
let go *

- Okay.
I'll wait it out.

- * Le-Le-Le-Le-Le-Lego *

* Don't let go, let go *

[muttering]

[upbeat melody]

- I just pray Gal Gadot

never sees what you did
to her song "Imagine."

But the way you worked together
to defeat the warrior,

you each brought something
different to the table.

You threw punches.
You swept his leg.

You did biting and popped his
testicles like a bag of Fritos.

It was magic.

- [groans]

- Listen to me carefully.

Cherish this time

when you feel
invincible together,

because one day,
it will be gone.

- Owwie, ow, ow.
[laughs]

I was, uh, planning on hitting
on all four of you,

but, uh, check please.

- Cut!

- That's dinner, everybody.
Eight minutes.

[bell dings]

- All right, we're back
in eight, everyone.

[phone vibrating]

- Very happy to find
your signed contract

on my desk this morning.

[gasps]
What's that sound?

Choo, choo.

It is the opportunity train,
Wickie!

Starting with, instead
of iced tea, from now on,

you will be holding L'Oréal
Paris hyaluronic acid serum.

- And do what with it?
- Don't over-think it.

It's America's number one
serum.

Opportunity two, they want you
to do Jingle Ball.

- Jingle Ball?
I'll do it!

But only if the other
three women sing with me.

- Ah, my God, are you still
talking about Girls5eva?

No!

They want you,
Flex and Stet to introduce

one of the Jingle Ball acts.
Nobody wants you to sing.

- Yes, I know.
I was just kidding!

[laughs]

Humor is so fun!

- In the future,
let me know in advance

when you're gonna do kidding.

I need to factor that in.
Gotta run.

[phone disconnect tone]
- And we are back in.

Come down from a laugh, judges.
Now.

[bell dings]
[laughter]

- * Booty pop, flip, wow *

* Swing me to the right *

* Booty pop, flip *

* Now, swing me to the side *

* Booty pop, flip *

* Pow, sidepieces for life *

* Don't tell your wife *

* Flip now, flip, wow *

- Hmm, they're really
making that work.

- Glad you said yes.
- [sighs] Yeah.

Well, I saw my future
if I clung to this dumb dream.

- Clive Davis
won't stop his golf cart.

- Right.
Yeah.

I thought
I should be an adult here.

I mean, this is
still making music.

- Exactly.
And off that,

Pippa loves the song
about Olivia Coleman

and wants to know
if you could tweak it

to be about pussy
in yoga pants.

- Oh.
What?

- [chuckles]
Oh, fancy Nancy.

- You remember Dawn Solano?

- From Girls5eva?
- Yeah.

You were behind me at Fallon.
- Yeah.

- I always know
what's behind me.

TV, sushi,
photo of Walt Frazier.

- Wow, you are Observant,
Little Stinker.

- It's just Stinker now.
I'm a big boy.

- Dawn's got some great ideas
for your new album.

- Ears open, heart's wide.

- Cool.
- I gotta go.

- Um, okay, I was thinking
something about how you have

to give up
a huge part of yourself

just to be in the orbit
of the thing you love,

but the compromise
erases any satisfaction

you'd get from "success."

- Yeah, those are some
big boy problems right there,

straight up Stink.
- Okay.

Cool.

Yeah, so I don't know
if you wanted--

- Hey, look.

There's two more ladies
that were behind me.

- Summer?
- [gasps] Gloria?

both: Dawn?

- Have you guys
read this script?

There's so much wordplay.

- Thank you.
It's pun, right?

I said pun instead of fun,

making a pun
with the word "pun."

It's for the back of the room.
Anyway.

- "American Warrior Singer"
judges.

You're up next.
Ready to rock?

- So, we all Wickied.

We're all one of Nance's
pretty little ponies, huh?

- Okay, for the record,
I didn't Wickie.

I was abandoned by all of you.

- Don't shame me.

When I made top docs,

it was a stunning reminder

that I can't ignore my gifts.

And Nance is taking me
to the next level.

I'm here to pitch a new line

of diamond engagement grills
to A$AP Rocky.

- Oh, sorry,
but I have the best excuse.

You know, I have to pay
for a very expensive divorce

because you forced me
to examine my life, Gloria.

- Sorry I helped you grow.

- Well, Nance is
helping me grow now.

You all are looking
at the face, thighs,

and crotch of S'LEAKS.

They put the "waste"
in waist trainer.

Different spelling.

I'm here doing the dunk tank
in the mom tent

to demonstrate abortion--
ab-absorption.

Ugh, I gotta get it right
on the day.

rappers:
* From Tokyo to the Amazon *

* Paris, France *

* To your front lawn *

* Everybody's doing *

* Everybody's doing
the splingy *

- Cray?
- * Woah-oooh *

* First you... *
- "The splingy"?

both: * What's that noise?
Shimmy, shimmy *

* Shake it down to ground,
two-handed salute *

* Then back it up, back it up,
back it up *

- Oh, come on!

[scoffs]

- Ladies?

Maybe Girls5eva

doesn't have to be over, over.

- [sighs]
- Maybe we just, um--

we should just call it
a hianus.

- You mean a "hiatus."
- No, the word's "hianus,"

just cause you, like,
lift your butt up

as you walk away
from something.

Don't gaslight me.
I'm 100% on this.

- Okay, fine.
Okay.

We're officially
on an indefinite hianus.

- Hi.
- What?

[gasps]
Wickie!

- I wanna do Jingle Ball.
- What?

- Yeah, and I wanna be hand-fed
by Gillian Anderson

like a complicated
rescue horse,

but we don't all get
our ultimate dream.

- So what?
Let's just do it!

- Are you crazy?
- How?

- Uh, we just went on hianus.
- I don't know.

But we are 30 feet from doing
what we set out to do,

and to hell with anyone
who says we're not worthy.

We came here in 2001 and got
bumped for Enrique Iglesias.

- Daddy's boy.
- Fake mole.

- He could still get it.

- I don't wanna leave again
without singing.

I thought I could
take the cushy road,

but this is killing me!

We are talent, damn it!

Don't you think it's a sign
that we're all here?

- No, stop.
Wickie, I--

I finally wised up.

I'm starting something new,
and it's kind of working.

I can't throw it all away
just for a moment of fun.

I learned that
in seventh grade health class.

- Yeah?

And I signed
a thousand-year contract

that if I violate,
I lose everything.

My job, my glam army.

- No!
- My six-figure bonus

to move into
the Judge Dread house,

a mansion where reality judges
live among horror pranks.

[suspenseful music]

* *

- [screams]

- You can't throw
all that away!

You know that road, Wickie.
It's hard.

- Well, then enjoy
watching the life

drain from my eyes as I walk

onto the greatest stage
in the world

and read this!

- We really have to go.

- Oh, gosh.
Oh.

- What the hell was that?

[applause]

[all chuckling]

- Hi.
Happy Thanksgiving, you guys.

- What are you talking about,
Wickie?

It's Christmas time.

- You could have fooled me,
because tonight

has been a veritable buffet
of today's musical hits.

[laughs]

But yes, it is Christmas time,
Stet.

So deck the Halsey...

- No.
- And for some of you,

Happy Rihannica.
- Oh.

- Why don't we just say
Happy Holiday?

- Or Dabby Holla Night.

[all whoosh]

- I can't watch this.
- Oh, God.

- Okay.
So, um--[clears throat]

Just to, like,

lay out how dumb it would be
if we went out there--

- As a thought experiment.
- Right.

Okay, we piss off iHeart Radio,

and Nance,
and we'd lose our gravy trains.

- And sing a song
that I think I sold

to Charli D'Amelio's sister.

- Now, I did just eat

an irresponsible
amount of shawarma.

- And we'd probably get
arrested in front of, like,

18,000 teenagers,
who all have camera phones.

- And if we didn't do it?

- We would just be four
financially stable women

who would lie awake at night

wondering
what it would have felt like.

- No segue needed.

[hollow laughter]

- But seriously, seriously.

- I want to do it!

[upbeat music]

Oh, fuck, I have to go
to the bathroom.

[gasps]
I'm wearing S'LEAKS.

It's happening!
It's a great product!

[laughter]

- But seriously, seriously.
Happy Holidays.

- Jingle Bells.

- Wait, don't you mean
Jingle Smells?

Because our next
performer's name reminds us

that he's "a hit olfactory."

Give it up for...

- It's G like G,
I as in I,

R like R, L as in L.

- Anything for you, pole queen.
- Okay, S.

- Give it up for...

Girls5eva!

Ah!
Ah!

- Got it.
- Oh, thank you so much.

Oh, God!
- Thank you.

[crowd chattering]

- One, two, three, four.

all:
* We're gonna start fresh *

* Take a couple new steps *

* And wear
our comfortable shoes *

* Look at our history *

* There is no mystery *

* The problem here was you *

* Take off the filter
from the photograph *

* And look who it is you see *

* It isn't perfect,
so what's wrong with that? *

* The best things in life
are free *

[musical beat starts]

* So what if we risk it all
and try *

* Knowing we might fall,
but we might fly? *

* Who cares what they say? *

* We're gonna do it our way *

* Like Sinatra or Burger King *

* Five Star-- *

- Stinker, sip, Stinky.
- Stinker,

you'll be on in just a few

after we get
these ladies cleared off.

- W-w-w-wait, na-na-na-nah.

Let them sing.
Stinky knows what stays.

That's a little Stinker move,
right there.

Let 'em rock.

all:
* Our imperfection *

* We're coming up, coming up *

* Coming up,
coming up Four Stars *

* We're coming up, coming up *

* Coming up, coming up... *

- That's the lady
from my phone!

all:
* Four Stars *

[cheers and applause]

- * I may not be stronger
than the best *

* But I've got a diamond heart
inside my chest *

* I've got a lot to learn,
but that's pretty cool *

* Already graduated
salad school *

- * I'm done
with playin' it cool *

* Don't always agree,
and I kinda liked high school *

* There, I said it,
I don't regret it *

all: * Women are
an ocean of secrets *

* We're coming up, coming up *

* Coming up, coming up... *

- Oh, teens are
so much more controllable.

all:
* We're coming up, coming up *

* Coming up,
coming up Four Stars *

- * I've held my tongue
too many times *

* And that's a different
kind of gum disease *

* Like delicious bread,
I'm ready to rise *

* I'm even better
as the real me *

- * Okay, I'll finally
let you see *

* That I'm perfectly
imperfectly me *

* I am a work in progress,
I'm not finished yet *

* I'll put my renaissance
on the Internet *

- I wanna get back
in the ring, too.

Song idea: jeans in the ocean.
Whoa, whoa!

all: * Knowing we might fall,
but we might *

* Fly *

* Coming up, coming up,
coming up, coming up *

- The escalation's working!
all: * Four Stars *

* We're coming up, coming up *

* Coming up, coming up *

* Four Stars *

[cheering and applause]

- Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.
Whoo-hoo!

- Jingle Ball!
We love you!

[cheers and applause]

- Get them off the stage, now!

- Get those girls out of here,
now!

- Gloria, I got you.
- Get them now!

- Hey! Hey!
- Get out of here!

- I've got my backpack
in there,

and it's got six laptops.

- Ah!
[breathing heavily]

- That was...

all: Worth it!

- Whoo!
- Whoo!

- Oh, my God!
- My backpack!

- Oh!
- Oh, my God!

- I'm so proud of you.
- Oh.

- I love you.
- Oh, Ashley.

We love you, too.

- Holy shit.

- Oh, my God.

- You know, that was her line
when she guested on "Charmed"

as a benevolent hot witch.

- I know.
- Oh, my gosh!

- Oh.
- Okay.

- [sighs]
- [sighs]

- Guess I'm gonna have
to write us new songs.

- Dawn, I'd like to apply

for a management position
at the restaurant.

- Oh, gosh!
- I'm cold.

I'm gonna pee again.

- Hey, guys.
Hot take?

I'm starting to think that
Ashley faked her own death.

- Wait, what?
- What?

[upbeat music]

all: * Gonna be famous 5eva *

* 'Cause forever's too short *

* Gonna be famous
three-gether *

* 'Cause that's one
more than together *

- * People staring at us,
thinking we are badass *

* Watching
as we wave goodbye *

* Our stomachs
are the flattest *

- * Riding in our Lexus,
life really affects us *

* Drinking
Veuve Clicquot champagne *

* And texting all our exes *

all: * Playing with our
brand-new flip phones *

* Talking with our friends,
talking with our friends *

* See the new leaf
on our headphones? *

* That's how our story
begins *

* Gonna be famous 5eva *

* 'Cause forever's too short *

* It's too short *

* Gonna be famous
three-gether *

* 'Cause that's one
more than together *

* Gonna be famous 5eva *

* 'Cause forever's too short *

* So what are you
waiting five? *

* "Girls5eva" *

* *

- Good night, everybody.
- Good night.

- [munching]