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1
00:00:12,971 --> 00:00:16,057
- * Sitting at my piano *
2
00:00:17,225 --> 00:00:20,103
Write your truth, Dawn.
3
00:00:20,145 --> 00:00:23,481
* Sitting at my
friend's piano *
4
00:00:23,523 --> 00:00:26,317
* In my apartment *
5
00:00:26,359 --> 00:00:30,030
* Actually,
it's my brother's apartment *
6
00:00:30,071 --> 00:00:32,032
* I still pay him rent *
7
00:00:32,073 --> 00:00:33,158
[sighs]
8
00:00:33,199 --> 00:00:35,118
How does Flo Rida do this?
9
00:00:35,160 --> 00:00:37,120
[mechanical whirring]
Aah! Oh.
10
00:00:37,162 --> 00:00:38,413
- Yo, keep it down.
11
00:00:38,455 --> 00:00:40,206
There's a kid in here
somewhere, I think.
12
00:00:40,248 --> 00:00:42,250
- See you later, baby.
- Vibes, girl.
13
00:00:42,292 --> 00:00:43,668
[blows raspberry]
14
00:00:43,710 --> 00:00:46,588
[both laughing]
15
00:00:49,841 --> 00:00:51,301
- Did you have a sex guest
16
00:00:51,343 --> 00:00:52,802
in my four-year-old's room?
17
00:00:52,844 --> 00:00:55,221
- Max crawls into your bed
every night at midnight.
18
00:00:55,263 --> 00:00:58,099
I texted Cray at midnight 15.
19
00:00:58,141 --> 00:01:00,560
- Where did you meet
someone named Cray?
20
00:01:00,602 --> 00:01:02,896
- At the Instagram wall
in the vape lounge
21
00:01:02,937 --> 00:01:04,439
of the sriracha museum.
22
00:01:04,481 --> 00:01:06,066
It's a very spiritual place.
23
00:01:06,107 --> 00:01:07,359
- Does he know how old you are?
24
00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:09,736
Do you know how old you are?
25
00:01:09,778 --> 00:01:11,654
Because you won't
even wear reading glasses.
26
00:01:11,696 --> 00:01:14,657
[background jazz]
27
00:01:14,699 --> 00:01:21,456
* *
28
00:01:28,922 --> 00:01:31,299
- I'll have the Shiraz, please.
29
00:01:33,468 --> 00:01:35,095
I know I'm 40-blah-blah.
30
00:01:35,136 --> 00:01:36,930
It's just that back in the day,
31
00:01:36,971 --> 00:01:41,017
I was always the younger one
dating older industry creeps,
32
00:01:41,059 --> 00:01:42,185
and now it's my turn.
33
00:01:42,227 --> 00:01:44,229
I control the games.
34
00:01:44,270 --> 00:01:46,564
- Is that the healthiest thing?
35
00:01:46,606 --> 00:01:48,149
- Have you written
our single yet?
36
00:01:48,191 --> 00:01:49,567
- Back off. I'm working on it.
37
00:01:49,609 --> 00:01:51,736
- Wow, somebody's
a little hunty.
38
00:01:51,778 --> 00:01:52,987
- Don't you mean hangry?
39
00:01:53,029 --> 00:01:54,698
- I don't.
40
00:01:55,824 --> 00:01:57,701
- No.
41
00:01:57,742 --> 00:01:59,953
The greatest songwriter
in the world,
42
00:01:59,994 --> 00:02:02,330
Dolly Parton,
starts writing at 3:00 a.m.
43
00:02:02,372 --> 00:02:04,290
and she fasts while she writes.
44
00:02:04,332 --> 00:02:06,209
So I'm following
the Dolly method
45
00:02:06,251 --> 00:02:07,794
till I write us a hit.
46
00:02:07,836 --> 00:02:09,838
If she can write "Jolene" and
"I Will Always Love You"
47
00:02:09,879 --> 00:02:11,381
on the same day,
48
00:02:11,423 --> 00:02:13,383
I can write us a song
that's not owned
49
00:02:13,425 --> 00:02:15,093
by some evil record dude.
50
00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:16,469
- The old me probably
would have dated
51
00:02:16,511 --> 00:02:18,805
that evil record dude
and had to wait at Ivan's
52
00:02:18,847 --> 00:02:21,224
while he did
the CMA red carpet alone,
53
00:02:21,266 --> 00:02:23,435
but the tables
are turned, baby.
54
00:02:23,476 --> 00:02:24,978
- Forgot my socks.
55
00:02:25,020 --> 00:02:26,396
Nut tap, huh!
56
00:02:26,438 --> 00:02:28,732
[both laughing]
57
00:02:28,773 --> 00:02:30,817
- It's wonderful.
We have a shorthand.
58
00:02:30,859 --> 00:02:32,110
[energetic music]
59
00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:34,946
- * Gonna be famous 5eva *
60
00:02:34,988 --> 00:02:37,532
* 'Cause 4eva's 2 short *
61
00:02:37,574 --> 00:02:38,658
* It's too short *
62
00:02:38,700 --> 00:02:41,828
* Gonna be famous 3gether *
63
00:02:41,870 --> 00:02:45,331
* 'Cause that's
1 more than 2gether *
64
00:02:45,373 --> 00:02:48,376
* Gonna be famous 5eva *
65
00:02:48,418 --> 00:02:51,379
* 'Cause 4eva's too short *
66
00:02:54,382 --> 00:02:58,887
* Girls 5eva *
67
00:03:00,847 --> 00:03:03,183
- Thank you
for bringing me here.
68
00:03:03,224 --> 00:03:06,061
- Well, Zahir is a genius.
69
00:03:06,102 --> 00:03:07,812
Oh, there he is.
70
00:03:07,854 --> 00:03:09,731
- What are we doing?
71
00:03:09,773 --> 00:03:12,484
- Well, I gotta find
my popstar look.
72
00:03:12,525 --> 00:03:13,860
Play with the angles,
but no mohawk,
73
00:03:13,902 --> 00:03:15,362
'cause I have a dent
on this side
74
00:03:15,403 --> 00:03:16,988
from trying to hang
a flat screen TV.
75
00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:19,407
- And I'm thinking I need to
freshen up the extensions.
76
00:03:19,449 --> 00:03:21,576
- There was a mudslide
at Bella Hadid's ranch,
77
00:03:21,618 --> 00:03:23,536
so we just got some horse in.
78
00:03:23,578 --> 00:03:26,039
- Oh, well, actually,
79
00:03:26,081 --> 00:03:28,208
Kev's flying in tonight,
80
00:03:28,249 --> 00:03:30,835
so I was thinking I splurge
81
00:03:30,877 --> 00:03:32,212
and go human.
82
00:03:32,253 --> 00:03:34,631
- Lucky man!
83
00:03:34,673 --> 00:03:36,800
I got a wonderful supplier
out of Brighton Beach.
84
00:03:36,841 --> 00:03:38,551
The hot dog smell
will dissipate
85
00:03:38,593 --> 00:03:41,221
after four or five washes.
- Yum!
86
00:03:41,262 --> 00:03:43,098
You're coming
to the BBQ, right?
87
00:03:43,139 --> 00:03:44,516
- Oh, of course we are.
88
00:03:44,557 --> 00:03:46,309
Wickie, Dawn, all of us.
89
00:03:46,351 --> 00:03:48,269
So this is Kev's
90
00:03:48,311 --> 00:03:49,688
monthly visit, huh?
91
00:03:49,729 --> 00:03:51,564
- Yeah, I know,
it really sucks.
92
00:03:51,606 --> 00:03:54,109
They just work him
so hard at WTIT.
93
00:03:54,150 --> 00:03:55,527
It's crazy.
94
00:03:55,568 --> 00:03:57,487
Like some nights,
he doesn't even make it home.
95
00:03:57,529 --> 00:03:59,698
He has to sleep over
at the weatherman's house.
96
00:04:00,782 --> 00:04:02,283
- Oh, boy.
97
00:04:02,951 --> 00:04:04,911
Summer, you know that
you can always talk to me
98
00:04:04,953 --> 00:04:07,247
about how you and Kev
are doing.
99
00:04:07,288 --> 00:04:10,125
- We're amazing.
100
00:04:10,166 --> 00:04:11,918
- It's just, you know,
distance
101
00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:15,130
can kill even
the most amazing relationship.
102
00:04:15,171 --> 00:04:18,133
When Caroline took that
adjunct professor job
103
00:04:18,174 --> 00:04:21,136
up in Ithaca, we thought
we could handle the distance,
104
00:04:21,177 --> 00:04:22,595
and it just wrecked me.
105
00:04:22,637 --> 00:04:25,098
I started self-medicating
with Spaniels--
106
00:04:25,140 --> 00:04:26,349
- Gloria,
107
00:04:26,391 --> 00:04:27,642
I'm sorry,
108
00:04:27,684 --> 00:04:30,145
but that would never happen
with me and Kev.
109
00:04:30,186 --> 00:04:31,563
We're Summer and Kev.
110
00:04:31,604 --> 00:04:33,773
- * Summer and Kev's *
111
00:04:33,815 --> 00:04:36,109
* Sweetheart sweats *
112
00:04:36,151 --> 00:04:38,111
* Sweating with your
sweetheart's *
113
00:04:38,153 --> 00:04:40,363
* Better than sex *
114
00:04:40,989 --> 00:04:44,576
- We're boy band and
girl group's royal couple.
115
00:04:44,617 --> 00:04:46,244
- Okay, forget I said anything.
116
00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:49,122
* Takin' those words
and putting 'em back *
117
00:04:49,164 --> 00:04:50,457
* Zipping it up *
118
00:04:50,498 --> 00:04:52,959
Withdrawn, just like my 20s.
119
00:04:53,001 --> 00:04:54,085
[pop]
120
00:04:55,670 --> 00:04:58,131
- Yo, you and Scott,
you guys having trouble?
121
00:04:58,173 --> 00:05:01,468
You know, I saw a man's shadow
on the Nest Cam last night.
122
00:05:01,509 --> 00:05:03,636
You're cheating.
- What? No.
123
00:05:03,678 --> 00:05:05,722
He was with Ricky.
You have a Nest Cam?
124
00:05:05,764 --> 00:05:07,307
- Yeah, it's my apartment.
125
00:05:07,349 --> 00:05:09,017
Your song said so.
126
00:05:09,059 --> 00:05:10,477
- It's not a song yet.
127
00:05:10,518 --> 00:05:12,103
- I used to have dreams,
you know that?
128
00:05:12,145 --> 00:05:13,813
I wanted to be Keith Hernandez,
129
00:05:13,855 --> 00:05:15,357
but I had to give it up,
because, you know,
130
00:05:15,398 --> 00:05:16,483
you can't be another person.
131
00:05:16,524 --> 00:05:18,360
The science
is just not there yet.
132
00:05:18,401 --> 00:05:20,987
- I'm not giving up.
133
00:05:21,029 --> 00:05:22,989
I just need something
to write about.
134
00:05:23,031 --> 00:05:26,368
Like, Dolly Parton wrote
Jolene about a bank teller
135
00:05:26,409 --> 00:05:28,078
that flirted with her husband.
136
00:05:28,119 --> 00:05:30,330
- Perfect. Go to the bank,
and when you're there,
137
00:05:30,372 --> 00:05:32,665
you can deposit
last night's cash.
138
00:05:32,707 --> 00:05:35,043
Don't let 'em tell you
they can't accept it
139
00:05:35,085 --> 00:05:36,461
if it's wet, all right?
140
00:05:36,503 --> 00:05:38,838
Look, I got a bunch
of other stuff here.
141
00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:40,674
You're looking for inspiration,
142
00:05:40,715 --> 00:05:42,592
I just handed you
a whole album.
143
00:05:42,634 --> 00:05:44,844
And you better take me
to the GRAMMYs and not Mom.
144
00:05:44,886 --> 00:05:46,471
- You're not holding up
restaurant sauce
145
00:05:46,513 --> 00:05:47,597
on the red carpet.
146
00:05:47,639 --> 00:05:49,474
- Oh, yeah, I am.
Love you!
147
00:05:49,516 --> 00:05:50,684
- I just love it.
148
00:05:50,725 --> 00:05:53,561
You're a snack.
- Ha. Thank you.
149
00:05:53,603 --> 00:05:56,314
- Sorry, gorg,
your card's been declined.
150
00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:58,608
Okay, I don't like this part,
151
00:05:58,650 --> 00:06:00,527
but we're gonna need
to take the hair back.
152
00:06:00,568 --> 00:06:02,028
- Whoa!
- Ah, ah, I meant to say
153
00:06:02,070 --> 00:06:05,281
that I am treating today
because you brought me here.
154
00:06:05,323 --> 00:06:07,158
- Oh.
155
00:06:07,867 --> 00:06:09,703
- Do you have Kev
share that account?
156
00:06:09,744 --> 00:06:11,079
- We share everything.
157
00:06:11,121 --> 00:06:12,789
Finances, jeans,
158
00:06:12,831 --> 00:06:15,375
respect and admiration
for the troops.
159
00:06:15,417 --> 00:06:17,377
- Maybe call
the credit card company
160
00:06:17,419 --> 00:06:19,421
and see what or
161
00:06:19,462 --> 00:06:20,880
who he's spending money on.
162
00:06:20,922 --> 00:06:22,590
- I thought that
you were zipping it.
163
00:06:22,632 --> 00:06:24,300
- I'm just trying
to keep an eye out for you.
164
00:06:24,342 --> 00:06:26,052
- Gloria!
165
00:06:26,094 --> 00:06:28,263
I trust...my husband.
166
00:06:28,304 --> 00:06:31,057
I love my husband.
167
00:06:31,099 --> 00:06:32,517
I love his soul.
168
00:06:32,559 --> 00:06:35,186
I love his swoopy boy band hair
169
00:06:35,228 --> 00:06:36,521
that caused one of his eyes
170
00:06:36,563 --> 00:06:39,190
to atrophy and turn inward.
171
00:06:39,232 --> 00:06:40,942
God put me and Kev together.
172
00:06:40,984 --> 00:06:43,028
- PR reps put you
and Kev together
173
00:06:43,069 --> 00:06:44,612
to sell Noxzema.
174
00:06:44,654 --> 00:06:47,198
- And who do you think
created the PR reps?
175
00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:48,742
Ha ha.
176
00:06:48,783 --> 00:06:51,244
Actually, before the BBQ,
177
00:06:51,286 --> 00:06:53,913
we're gonna have this
supes chill bible study.
178
00:06:53,955 --> 00:06:55,999
We're gonna talk about
lasting relationships.
179
00:06:56,041 --> 00:06:57,417
You should come,
180
00:06:57,459 --> 00:06:59,210
because what you'll get to see
181
00:06:59,252 --> 00:07:01,796
is a very happy couple.
182
00:07:01,838 --> 00:07:03,715
I'm probably
like the happiest person
183
00:07:03,757 --> 00:07:05,717
that's ever been in here.
184
00:07:05,759 --> 00:07:08,845
[nervous laughing]
185
00:07:12,807 --> 00:07:14,684
* *
186
00:07:14,726 --> 00:07:17,812
- No.
187
00:07:17,854 --> 00:07:20,565
You must see a lot of stuff
from behind that counter.
188
00:07:20,607 --> 00:07:22,901
Anything crazy?
189
00:07:22,942 --> 00:07:25,195
You ever hit on
somebody's husband, or...
190
00:07:25,236 --> 00:07:27,072
- One time,
191
00:07:27,113 --> 00:07:28,823
somebody put dog shit
in the ATM,
192
00:07:28,865 --> 00:07:30,909
and I had to scrape it out
with an envelope.
193
00:07:30,950 --> 00:07:32,619
[woman, distantly]
Next.
194
00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:36,623
- * Woof, woof, woof *
195
00:07:36,664 --> 00:07:38,583
* Got a deposit, Mommy *
196
00:07:38,625 --> 00:07:40,210
- Not for me.
197
00:07:41,336 --> 00:07:43,797
[energetic funk]
198
00:07:43,838 --> 00:07:46,383
* *
199
00:07:46,424 --> 00:07:47,592
- Hey, you know that, um,
200
00:07:47,634 --> 00:07:49,761
that Sierra Mist,
that's not free.
201
00:07:49,803 --> 00:07:51,721
- I dropped it into this cup,
202
00:07:51,763 --> 00:07:54,307
and now I'm cleaning it up
with my mouth.
203
00:07:54,349 --> 00:07:57,102
- Wait a second.
204
00:07:57,143 --> 00:07:58,687
I know that look.
205
00:07:58,728 --> 00:08:01,272
You got the vampire glow
going on.
206
00:08:02,816 --> 00:08:05,527
Are you feasting on youth?
207
00:08:05,568 --> 00:08:06,778
- Yes.
208
00:08:06,820 --> 00:08:08,446
I am dating a younger guy.
209
00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:09,948
I finally get why men do this.
210
00:08:09,989 --> 00:08:12,242
They're so firm and happy.
211
00:08:12,283 --> 00:08:13,576
- Welcome to the club.
212
00:08:13,618 --> 00:08:14,953
Hey, um, how young
we talking here?
213
00:08:14,994 --> 00:08:16,705
- Maybe 20.
- How many abs?
214
00:08:16,746 --> 00:08:18,373
- All.
215
00:08:18,415 --> 00:08:20,291
- Oh, boy.
216
00:08:20,333 --> 00:08:23,003
20 with abs, you know, with
that comes a lot of upkeep.
217
00:08:23,044 --> 00:08:24,587
This is how
you keep them on the hook.
218
00:08:24,629 --> 00:08:27,465
You take them to Atlantic City
on their birthdays.
219
00:08:27,507 --> 00:08:29,259
Twice a month,
get 'em jewelry.
220
00:08:29,300 --> 00:08:30,760
Here's a hot tip:
221
00:08:30,802 --> 00:08:33,680
Pavé is still diamonds
but is cheaper.
222
00:08:33,722 --> 00:08:35,306
And most importantly,
223
00:08:35,348 --> 00:08:37,851
take the erection pill
when the appetizer comes.
224
00:08:37,892 --> 00:08:39,477
- We are not alike.
225
00:08:39,519 --> 00:08:42,022
Unlike you, I'm a hot
and captivating woman.
226
00:08:42,063 --> 00:08:43,732
- I admit that you're way
better looking than me,
227
00:08:43,773 --> 00:08:45,150
all right, I get that,
228
00:08:45,191 --> 00:08:46,443
but there's a clock
on these things, all right?
229
00:08:46,484 --> 00:08:48,153
One day you're getting
out of a hot tub naked
230
00:08:48,194 --> 00:08:49,988
and then realize
that your butt crack
231
00:08:50,030 --> 00:08:52,657
is only an inch long,
and--bam!
232
00:08:52,699 --> 00:08:53,783
It's over.
233
00:08:53,825 --> 00:08:55,618
A second alarm goes off.
234
00:08:55,660 --> 00:08:56,828
- No, in my circles,
235
00:08:56,870 --> 00:08:58,705
the December
always dumps the May.
236
00:08:58,747 --> 00:08:59,831
- You know,
this whole thing about
237
00:08:59,873 --> 00:09:01,207
a woman exploiting
a man sexually,
238
00:09:01,249 --> 00:09:03,710
personally to me,
it's disgusting.
239
00:09:03,752 --> 00:09:06,338
But it's 2015, so God bless.
240
00:09:06,379 --> 00:09:07,547
- It's 2021.
241
00:09:07,589 --> 00:09:10,050
- Don't fight me on everything,
all right?
242
00:09:12,510 --> 00:09:13,928
- Hot Topic Crystal Visa.
243
00:09:13,970 --> 00:09:15,972
This call is being recorded,
and I am judging you.
244
00:09:16,014 --> 00:09:18,016
- Could you just go over
245
00:09:18,058 --> 00:09:20,685
the most recent charges,
please?
246
00:09:20,727 --> 00:09:22,187
- Let's see...
247
00:09:22,228 --> 00:09:24,439
a lot of activity
out of the Tampa area.
248
00:09:24,481 --> 00:09:26,107
Big charges to a florist.
249
00:09:26,149 --> 00:09:28,401
You purchased
a two-seater Sea-Doo.
250
00:09:28,443 --> 00:09:29,819
Hotel stay in the Keys.
251
00:09:29,861 --> 00:09:32,405
A bulk order of 200 condoms.
252
00:09:32,447 --> 00:09:34,324
Jealous.
253
00:09:35,367 --> 00:09:37,285
- * Uh, oh, boy *
254
00:09:37,327 --> 00:09:40,747
* You've gone and made
a big mistake *
255
00:09:42,082 --> 00:09:45,043
- * So now you're zoom zoom *
256
00:09:45,085 --> 00:09:47,671
* Is gonna go boom boom *
257
00:09:47,712 --> 00:09:49,673
* Zoom zoom boom boom *
258
00:09:49,714 --> 00:09:51,007
* Should of thought twice *
259
00:09:51,049 --> 00:09:52,342
* Zoom zoom boom boom *
260
00:09:52,384 --> 00:09:54,302
* You're gonna pay the price *
261
00:09:54,344 --> 00:09:57,681
* Sorry Mr. Buddha
but there's some kinda spell *
262
00:09:57,722 --> 00:10:00,600
* With a C-A-R *
263
00:10:00,642 --> 00:10:02,227
* I need to ruin zooms *
264
00:10:02,268 --> 00:10:04,229
* Every cheated girl
hasn't used *
265
00:10:04,270 --> 00:10:07,232
* And golf clubs are fire,
like Angela Bassett *
266
00:10:07,273 --> 00:10:08,983
* It's either this
or throwing suits *
267
00:10:09,025 --> 00:10:12,195
* Out of an upstairs window *
268
00:10:14,698 --> 00:10:16,074
[clattering]
269
00:10:20,078 --> 00:10:22,580
- I'm no Dolly Parton.
270
00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:24,040
- Well, that's good.
271
00:10:24,082 --> 00:10:26,543
I don't think the world
could survive two of us.
272
00:10:28,378 --> 00:10:29,587
- Dolly Parton?
273
00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:31,673
- That's what it says
on my amusement park.
274
00:10:31,715 --> 00:10:33,967
- Dolly!
275
00:10:34,009 --> 00:10:35,468
I-I tried what you did.
It didn't work.
276
00:10:35,510 --> 00:10:36,803
I can't write a song.
277
00:10:36,845 --> 00:10:39,556
- That's 'cause you're looking
outside for ideas.
278
00:10:39,597 --> 00:10:41,683
"Jolene" was about how I felt.
279
00:10:41,725 --> 00:10:44,144
What do you feel right now?
280
00:10:45,729 --> 00:10:47,647
- I'm...
281
00:10:47,689 --> 00:10:50,942
I feel like what business
do I have writing anything?
282
00:10:50,984 --> 00:10:52,444
What if I don't have
what it takes
283
00:10:52,485 --> 00:10:53,945
and I let everybody down?
284
00:10:53,987 --> 00:10:55,822
Because outside of being a mom,
285
00:10:55,864 --> 00:10:58,742
I haven't tried at anything
in so long.
286
00:10:58,783 --> 00:11:00,744
I'm not even sure how to do it.
287
00:11:00,785 --> 00:11:02,120
It's like how you know
how to walk,
288
00:11:02,162 --> 00:11:04,748
but then you think
about walking
289
00:11:04,789 --> 00:11:06,624
and you can't.
290
00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:09,377
Suddenly you're in charge
of a complicated spaceship.
291
00:11:09,419 --> 00:11:11,129
- Darling,
you're onto something.
292
00:11:11,171 --> 00:11:13,757
What else scares you?
293
00:11:13,798 --> 00:11:16,051
- Everything.
294
00:11:16,092 --> 00:11:18,470
Panic attacks, guns,
295
00:11:18,511 --> 00:11:20,680
accidently being a Karen.
296
00:11:20,722 --> 00:11:22,557
Just about anything prolapsing.
297
00:11:22,599 --> 00:11:24,684
- Oh, what about
that flesh eating bacteria
298
00:11:24,726 --> 00:11:25,769
you can get from pedicures?
299
00:11:25,810 --> 00:11:26,895
- Uh-huh.
300
00:11:26,936 --> 00:11:29,773
- This is all songwriting gold.
301
00:11:29,814 --> 00:11:30,982
- It is?
302
00:11:31,024 --> 00:11:33,985
- Come on, let's get to work.
303
00:11:34,027 --> 00:11:36,071
- Hey, Mrs. Bello,
how you feeling, huh?
304
00:11:36,112 --> 00:11:37,489
- Stop asking.
305
00:11:37,530 --> 00:11:40,408
I'm from that village
in Italy where nobody dies
306
00:11:40,450 --> 00:11:41,409
'cause of community.
307
00:11:41,451 --> 00:11:42,619
- Yeah, you pay
40 bucks a month.
308
00:11:42,660 --> 00:11:44,120
Why don't you go live
with your kids, huh?
309
00:11:44,162 --> 00:11:45,538
- I don't like their wives.
310
00:11:45,580 --> 00:11:46,790
- Yeah, you killing me,
you know that?
311
00:11:46,831 --> 00:11:48,375
Seriously.
Seriously killing me.
312
00:11:48,416 --> 00:11:50,001
Hey, whoa, J.Lo.
313
00:11:50,043 --> 00:11:52,170
Did Biebs dump you yet, huh?
314
00:11:52,212 --> 00:11:53,630
- Please, this relationship
will be over
315
00:11:53,672 --> 00:11:55,048
when I say it's over.
316
00:11:55,090 --> 00:11:56,841
- All right, all right,
I see what's going on here.
317
00:11:56,883 --> 00:11:58,176
You bought him a car, huh?
318
00:11:58,218 --> 00:11:59,844
- Cray has his own money.
319
00:11:59,886 --> 00:12:01,137
He's a gamer.
320
00:12:01,179 --> 00:12:03,264
His office chair cost $45,000.
321
00:12:03,306 --> 00:12:04,933
- Whoa, let me
get this straight.
322
00:12:04,974 --> 00:12:06,351
He's the young one,
323
00:12:06,393 --> 00:12:08,144
and he's the one
with the money?
324
00:12:08,186 --> 00:12:10,313
No, no, no,
that's not how it works.
325
00:12:10,355 --> 00:12:12,440
Never, ever.
You're playing with fire.
326
00:12:12,482 --> 00:12:14,109
Get out before
the clock runs out.
327
00:12:14,150 --> 00:12:15,860
- Enjoy your night alone, Nick.
328
00:12:15,902 --> 00:12:17,195
- You're never alone
when you're at
329
00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:19,072
Valley's Total Fitness.
330
00:12:24,244 --> 00:12:27,414
[energetic music]
331
00:12:27,455 --> 00:12:32,085
* *
332
00:12:32,127 --> 00:12:35,922
[dramatic, heavenly chords]
333
00:12:35,964 --> 00:12:38,341
- Do not be roped in
by his beauty.
334
00:12:41,344 --> 00:12:43,096
- Ah.
335
00:12:43,805 --> 00:12:46,683
Wow, babe, you look gorg.
336
00:12:49,269 --> 00:12:51,938
I know
your love language, babe.
337
00:12:51,980 --> 00:12:54,024
I wanted to get you
Dior sunnies too,
338
00:12:54,065 --> 00:12:56,026
but our credit card
got funked up.
339
00:12:56,067 --> 00:12:57,986
Identity theft.
340
00:12:58,028 --> 00:12:59,738
- Identity theft?
341
00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:01,823
- The devil is busy.
342
00:13:01,865 --> 00:13:04,075
[energetic music]
343
00:13:04,117 --> 00:13:07,287
Wow, y'all, wow!
344
00:13:08,580 --> 00:13:11,541
- I bet a bear
or maybe a man did it.
345
00:13:12,709 --> 00:13:15,211
Or there's been
a lot of wind lately.
346
00:13:15,253 --> 00:13:17,088
- Well, that's
a lot of wind, babe.
347
00:13:20,467 --> 00:13:21,843
- There's a song in you, Dawn.
348
00:13:21,885 --> 00:13:24,137
Let's get it out.
349
00:13:24,179 --> 00:13:27,098
[uplifting music]
350
00:13:27,140 --> 00:13:34,272
* *
351
00:13:46,451 --> 00:13:47,827
- C.
352
00:13:47,869 --> 00:13:48,912
A minor.
353
00:13:48,953 --> 00:13:51,247
G, G, G minor.
354
00:13:51,289 --> 00:13:52,957
- You're going too fast.
355
00:13:52,999 --> 00:13:57,003
* *
356
00:13:57,045 --> 00:13:58,213
Ah.
357
00:13:58,254 --> 00:14:00,840
Only the muse can eat.
358
00:14:07,972 --> 00:14:10,850
We gotta get you
out of your head.
359
00:14:15,355 --> 00:14:17,691
Protect it!
Oh!
360
00:14:19,901 --> 00:14:21,861
Nothing but net.
361
00:14:37,168 --> 00:14:39,796
Now you're cooking
with bird grease.
362
00:14:45,343 --> 00:14:47,762
- I have interviewed
the biggest names in Tampa.
363
00:14:47,804 --> 00:14:49,139
Brooke Hogan,
364
00:14:49,180 --> 00:14:51,266
John Cena's leg day trainer,
365
00:14:51,307 --> 00:14:53,226
but y'all are the real stars.
366
00:14:53,268 --> 00:14:54,936
Get on in there.
Find yourself a seat.
367
00:14:54,978 --> 00:14:56,229
- Oh.
- Oh!
368
00:14:56,271 --> 00:14:57,313
- Oh, you came.
369
00:14:57,355 --> 00:14:58,565
- Hi, you two.
370
00:14:58,606 --> 00:14:59,816
- Hey girl, hey.
371
00:14:59,858 --> 00:15:01,860
Loving the J swag.
372
00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:03,778
- Oh, well, yeah,
I'm short on church merch,
373
00:15:03,820 --> 00:15:07,032
so I added J-E
to an old census shirt.
374
00:15:07,073 --> 00:15:08,616
- Ah, nah, you're good.
375
00:15:08,658 --> 00:15:10,493
We're the cool kind
of Christians who wear sneakers
376
00:15:10,535 --> 00:15:11,870
and compare the bible
to characters
377
00:15:11,911 --> 00:15:14,122
from "The Office."
378
00:15:14,164 --> 00:15:16,458
- So, Kev, how's Tampa?
379
00:15:16,499 --> 00:15:18,460
Who are your friends?
Do you have a finsta?
380
00:15:18,501 --> 00:15:21,338
- Hey, Gloria,
let me help you find a seat.
381
00:15:21,379 --> 00:15:22,964
Do you know what
I just realized?
382
00:15:23,006 --> 00:15:24,132
- What?
383
00:15:24,174 --> 00:15:26,259
- Divorced people just want
384
00:15:26,301 --> 00:15:29,137
everybody else to get divorced.
385
00:15:29,179 --> 00:15:31,306
You are worse than people
who do CrossFit.
386
00:15:31,348 --> 00:15:32,807
- I don't want to be divorced.
387
00:15:32,849 --> 00:15:34,476
I want to be back
with Caroline so bad
388
00:15:34,517 --> 00:15:36,978
I had one of her crowns
put in my mouth,
389
00:15:37,020 --> 00:15:39,647
but my body keeps rejecting it.
390
00:15:39,689 --> 00:15:41,232
I just don't
want you to have blinders
391
00:15:41,274 --> 00:15:42,692
on with that guy.
392
00:15:42,734 --> 00:15:44,069
- I don't.
393
00:15:44,110 --> 00:15:46,321
There is nothing
shady going on.
394
00:15:46,363 --> 00:15:48,156
It was identity thieves.
395
00:15:48,198 --> 00:15:50,200
- Really?
- Yes!
396
00:15:50,241 --> 00:15:53,661
- * Judas is Dwight Schrute *
397
00:15:53,703 --> 00:15:58,416
* And Jesus is Darryl *
398
00:15:58,458 --> 00:16:04,381
* From the warehouse *
399
00:16:09,469 --> 00:16:11,763
- The power of Christ
compels me
400
00:16:11,805 --> 00:16:14,182
to tell you...
y'all are rad.
401
00:16:14,224 --> 00:16:16,017
- Yeah, baby.
402
00:16:16,059 --> 00:16:18,311
- And I know from the outside
403
00:16:18,353 --> 00:16:19,938
we make it look pretty easy.
404
00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:21,690
The red carpets,
405
00:16:21,731 --> 00:16:23,024
the press,
406
00:16:23,066 --> 00:16:25,402
our album of clean Christmas
hip hop duets
407
00:16:25,443 --> 00:16:28,238
sold exclusively
at Cracker Barrel.
408
00:16:28,279 --> 00:16:30,990
I mean, we're Kev and Summer.
409
00:16:31,032 --> 00:16:32,992
- Uh, we're Summer and Kev.
410
00:16:33,034 --> 00:16:35,328
- Oh!
- [laughing]
411
00:16:35,370 --> 00:16:37,622
- She's the boss.
412
00:16:37,664 --> 00:16:40,417
But friends, things aren't
always easy at home.
413
00:16:40,458 --> 00:16:41,876
I'm gonna get mad real with you
414
00:16:41,918 --> 00:16:43,878
and let you in
on what's happening
415
00:16:43,920 --> 00:16:45,547
behind closed doors.
416
00:16:45,588 --> 00:16:47,590
My baby blue BMW Z3
417
00:16:47,632 --> 00:16:49,467
that got me featured
on Clergy and Cars Instagram
418
00:16:49,509 --> 00:16:51,094
was attacked last night.
419
00:16:51,136 --> 00:16:52,554
- It's mostly surface damage.
420
00:16:52,595 --> 00:16:54,389
Probably from storms?
421
00:16:54,431 --> 00:16:56,683
- Some misguided soul was
filled with mad jealously
422
00:16:56,725 --> 00:16:59,394
because of the #blessings
God has bestowed on my family.
423
00:16:59,436 --> 00:17:02,731
They even carved "carma"
into the paint
424
00:17:02,772 --> 00:17:04,399
with a C-A-R.
425
00:17:04,441 --> 00:17:05,817
Some sick stuff, bro.
426
00:17:05,859 --> 00:17:07,902
Well, let's see
how clever they are
427
00:17:07,944 --> 00:17:11,364
when they're riding in the back
of a black and white C-A-R.
428
00:17:11,406 --> 00:17:13,408
That's right,
I'm talking about a--
429
00:17:13,450 --> 00:17:15,035
- Limousine, y'all.
- Police car.
430
00:17:15,076 --> 00:17:17,120
- Oh, right.
431
00:17:17,162 --> 00:17:19,956
Police. Justice.
432
00:17:21,499 --> 00:17:23,835
- What's done in the dark
433
00:17:23,877 --> 00:17:25,253
comes to light.
434
00:17:25,295 --> 00:17:28,256
[keyboard piano playing]
435
00:17:28,298 --> 00:17:31,760
* God's flashlight *
436
00:17:31,801 --> 00:17:35,680
* Illuminates secrets *
437
00:17:35,722 --> 00:17:38,600
* Powered by truth *
438
00:17:38,641 --> 00:17:43,063
* And batteries *
439
00:17:48,193 --> 00:17:50,278
- My God, it's a hit.
440
00:17:50,320 --> 00:17:51,279
- You really think so?
441
00:17:51,321 --> 00:17:53,907
- Yes. She must be heard.
442
00:17:57,952 --> 00:18:00,705
- I'm gonna go show
the girls, Dolly Parton.
443
00:18:00,747 --> 00:18:03,625
- Thank you.
- Yes.
444
00:18:03,667 --> 00:18:06,628
- You smashed Kev's car.
445
00:18:06,670 --> 00:18:08,838
- No, it was crime.
446
00:18:08,880 --> 00:18:10,256
- Karma with a C?
447
00:18:10,298 --> 00:18:12,884
That is a deep dive
back catalogue Girls5eva lyric.
448
00:18:12,926 --> 00:18:14,469
You found something.
449
00:18:14,511 --> 00:18:16,137
- I thought I did,
450
00:18:16,179 --> 00:18:18,264
but you got into my head,
451
00:18:18,306 --> 00:18:20,684
and then the credit card lady
said that there were condoms
452
00:18:20,725 --> 00:18:23,978
and hotels, but then
Kev did my love languages.
453
00:18:24,020 --> 00:18:26,398
- What is the plan here?
There are cops involved.
454
00:18:26,439 --> 00:18:28,483
- O-M gosh, babe.
455
00:18:28,525 --> 00:18:29,984
We are supes blessed.
456
00:18:30,026 --> 00:18:31,361
- Hello.
457
00:18:31,403 --> 00:18:33,530
- We got a match on some
hair fibers in the vehicle.
458
00:18:33,571 --> 00:18:36,533
It was that woman.
459
00:18:37,575 --> 00:18:39,327
- Yulia Kalashnik
out of Brighton Beach.
460
00:18:39,369 --> 00:18:40,745
- Scumbag.
461
00:18:40,787 --> 00:18:43,164
And a bad haircut on her.
- Yeah.
462
00:18:43,206 --> 00:18:44,666
She could have used some longer
layers to frame her face.
463
00:18:44,708 --> 00:18:46,292
- You guys are incredible.
Right, babe?
464
00:18:46,334 --> 00:18:48,003
- Yes.
465
00:18:48,044 --> 00:18:50,672
- Well, please let
Ms. Kalashnik know
466
00:18:50,714 --> 00:18:53,425
that we are Christians,
so we forgive her.
467
00:18:53,466 --> 00:18:54,592
- Yes.
468
00:18:54,634 --> 00:18:56,761
- And then lock her ass up.
469
00:18:56,803 --> 00:18:58,179
- Let's go finish
the paperwork?
470
00:18:58,221 --> 00:19:00,640
- Yeah. Gung-gung!
471
00:19:00,682 --> 00:19:02,851
- That is obviously the woman
from your extensions.
472
00:19:02,892 --> 00:19:05,603
- I can't believe
they traced it to my hair.
473
00:19:05,645 --> 00:19:07,272
I pooped in the glovebox.
474
00:19:07,313 --> 00:19:08,857
- You have to say something.
475
00:19:08,898 --> 00:19:11,109
- You know, I feel like
I'm being a very rude host.
476
00:19:11,151 --> 00:19:13,403
I'm gonna go check
on my other guests.
477
00:19:13,445 --> 00:19:15,030
- Hello, Nick.
- Hey, Wickie.
478
00:19:15,071 --> 00:19:19,409
- Look who followed me to a
lame barbecue in New Jersey.
479
00:19:19,451 --> 00:19:22,537
And, yes, I slept over
last night.
480
00:19:22,579 --> 00:19:26,082
Mm, 2002 was a golden year.
481
00:19:26,124 --> 00:19:28,168
I won a four-figure class
action suit
482
00:19:28,209 --> 00:19:29,461
against the Kids' Choice Awards
483
00:19:29,502 --> 00:19:31,254
because their slime
contains Roundup.
484
00:19:31,296 --> 00:19:33,548
I beat Vivica A. Fox
485
00:19:33,590 --> 00:19:35,050
at Rock N' Jock, badminton,
486
00:19:35,091 --> 00:19:37,385
and Hugh Hefner
told me through mutuals
487
00:19:37,427 --> 00:19:39,471
that he would.
488
00:19:39,512 --> 00:19:41,014
Champagne me, baby.
489
00:19:41,056 --> 00:19:42,223
- Whew...wow.
490
00:19:42,265 --> 00:19:43,808
This is, um,
491
00:19:43,850 --> 00:19:45,477
this is breaking
my freaking brain.
492
00:19:45,518 --> 00:19:47,354
He's young, he's rich,
493
00:19:47,395 --> 00:19:49,147
and he's way too confident
to have a weird dick.
494
00:19:49,189 --> 00:19:50,857
You know, guys can tell
these types of things.
495
00:19:50,899 --> 00:19:53,109
I mean, I don't know,
this just makes no sense to me.
496
00:19:54,986 --> 00:19:57,655
Unless...
497
00:19:57,697 --> 00:19:59,532
- He's in love with me.
- He's in love with you.
498
00:19:59,574 --> 00:20:01,868
Oh, no.
499
00:20:01,910 --> 00:20:03,119
- Oh, I feel so bad
for all of the women
500
00:20:03,161 --> 00:20:04,412
who come after me.
501
00:20:04,454 --> 00:20:05,955
- Stop avoiding me.
502
00:20:05,997 --> 00:20:07,749
You can't let
an innocent woman
503
00:20:07,791 --> 00:20:09,376
take the fall for you.
504
00:20:09,417 --> 00:20:10,585
- Listen to me.
505
00:20:10,627 --> 00:20:13,505
I am sure that Yulia
is no saint.
506
00:20:13,546 --> 00:20:15,423
Aha, "I am guilty."
507
00:20:15,465 --> 00:20:16,966
See? She's bad.
508
00:20:17,008 --> 00:20:19,636
- "I am guilty of never being
able to send enough money
509
00:20:19,678 --> 00:20:21,596
"back home to my dozen sisters.
510
00:20:21,638 --> 00:20:23,390
We were separated by war--"
511
00:20:23,431 --> 00:20:25,308
This is "Humans of New York"?
512
00:20:25,350 --> 00:20:27,143
They only feature angels.
513
00:20:27,185 --> 00:20:29,479
Why don't you just
tell the truth?
514
00:20:29,521 --> 00:20:31,439
- Because.
515
00:20:31,481 --> 00:20:32,941
I love Kev
516
00:20:32,982 --> 00:20:34,317
and I have a daughter with Kev,
517
00:20:34,359 --> 00:20:37,404
and I'm not gonna ruin
my one weekend a month
518
00:20:37,445 --> 00:20:39,572
that I get with him
519
00:20:39,614 --> 00:20:41,282
because I had a rosé explosion.
520
00:20:41,324 --> 00:20:43,576
- Okay, Summer, okay.
521
00:20:43,618 --> 00:20:44,994
But come on.
522
00:20:45,036 --> 00:20:47,038
W-W-D-W-D?
523
00:20:47,080 --> 00:20:49,833
What Would Darryl
from the Warehouse Do?
524
00:20:51,251 --> 00:20:52,544
- I did it.
525
00:20:52,585 --> 00:20:54,295
I wrote Girls5eva's new single.
526
00:20:54,337 --> 00:20:55,547
- Great.
527
00:20:55,588 --> 00:20:57,632
What's it about?
528
00:21:04,514 --> 00:21:07,392
[relaxed piano playing]
529
00:21:07,434 --> 00:21:11,021
- * I'm afraid of heights,
afraid of flying *
530
00:21:11,062 --> 00:21:15,608
* I'm afraid I might
be a little stupid *
531
00:21:15,650 --> 00:21:17,861
* To write this song *
532
00:21:17,902 --> 00:21:20,280
- Yes.
- That's sweet.
533
00:21:20,321 --> 00:21:23,408
- * I'm afraid
that during high winds *
534
00:21:23,450 --> 00:21:25,827
* The stop sign will uproot *
535
00:21:25,869 --> 00:21:28,997
* And decapitate me *
536
00:21:29,039 --> 00:21:33,251
* Or that I might thrive
under Scientology *
537
00:21:33,293 --> 00:21:36,254
* I'm afraid
that after I die *
538
00:21:36,296 --> 00:21:40,550
* Some will have sex
with my dead body *
539
00:21:40,592 --> 00:21:44,804
* And be like "Not worth it" *
540
00:21:44,846 --> 00:21:46,348
- Ah, this is unrelatable.
541
00:21:46,389 --> 00:21:48,141
- * I'm afraid
I could raise a son *
542
00:21:48,183 --> 00:21:51,186
* Who get radicalized
on Reddit *
543
00:21:51,227 --> 00:21:53,938
* Or that he'll
"Back to the Future" *
544
00:21:53,980 --> 00:21:56,941
* And I'll think he's hot *
545
00:21:56,983 --> 00:21:59,235
* And I'm afraid *
546
00:21:59,277 --> 00:22:01,112
* I could accidently *
547
00:22:01,154 --> 00:22:03,782
* Text a pic of my vagina *
548
00:22:03,823 --> 00:22:09,162
* To my dad *
549
00:22:09,204 --> 00:22:11,039
- Dad's phone,
it can't even get texts.
550
00:22:11,081 --> 00:22:13,124
All right? I gotta print out
his porn for him.
551
00:22:13,166 --> 00:22:15,835
- Okay, fine,
I will do the right thing.
552
00:22:15,877 --> 00:22:17,629
Just make this stop.
553
00:22:17,671 --> 00:22:19,756
Aah--
554
00:22:23,885 --> 00:22:25,470
- Now, I've got
two middle names,
555
00:22:25,512 --> 00:22:27,681
so do you want 'em both, or how
do you want to handle this?
556
00:22:27,722 --> 00:22:29,724
- Babe. So sorry, so sorry.
- Yeah, babe.
557
00:22:29,766 --> 00:22:32,644
- Um, babe...
558
00:22:33,937 --> 00:22:36,981
Yulia didn't kill your car.
559
00:22:37,023 --> 00:22:39,984
It was...
560
00:22:41,736 --> 00:22:43,279
Stevia.
561
00:22:43,321 --> 00:22:45,407
- What?
562
00:22:45,448 --> 00:22:46,533
- Yeah.
563
00:22:46,574 --> 00:22:48,618
The DNA match,
564
00:22:48,660 --> 00:22:52,247
it's gotta be
from her hair extensions.
565
00:22:52,288 --> 00:22:53,623
- Ohhh...
566
00:22:53,665 --> 00:22:55,500
- See, babe,
567
00:22:55,542 --> 00:22:57,585
Stevia
568
00:22:57,627 --> 00:22:59,754
misses you.
569
00:22:59,796 --> 00:23:02,841
This one weekend a month,
570
00:23:02,882 --> 00:23:06,261
it's just not enough
for Stevia.
571
00:23:06,302 --> 00:23:08,596
- Ah, dang.
572
00:23:08,638 --> 00:23:11,599
This is tween acting out 101.
573
00:23:11,641 --> 00:23:16,021
Ah, babe,
I've been a butthead.
574
00:23:16,062 --> 00:23:18,648
Look, Tampa's mad busy, but...
575
00:23:18,690 --> 00:23:20,442
I could come back
two weekends a month.
576
00:23:20,483 --> 00:23:22,861
- Ah!
577
00:23:22,902 --> 00:23:25,321
Stevia would really like that.
- Yeah?
578
00:23:25,363 --> 00:23:28,992
- Also, she said
that we should kiss more.
579
00:23:29,034 --> 00:23:30,326
- Huh.
580
00:23:32,829 --> 00:23:35,957
Okay, yeah.
581
00:23:35,999 --> 00:23:38,960
Mm, mm, mmmm, mmmmmm.
582
00:23:39,002 --> 00:23:40,920
Ah, supes hot, babe.
583
00:23:40,962 --> 00:23:42,756
I'm gonna go tell 'em
we're dropping the charges.
584
00:23:42,797 --> 00:23:44,632
- Okay.
585
00:23:44,674 --> 00:23:46,343
Ah, oh, my gosh.
586
00:23:46,384 --> 00:23:47,719
Gloria.
587
00:23:47,761 --> 00:23:49,137
We did it.
588
00:23:49,179 --> 00:23:50,889
- I had nothing to do
with whatever that was.
589
00:23:50,930 --> 00:23:53,058
- Well, you said that distance
kills a relationship
590
00:23:53,099 --> 00:23:54,059
and now...
591
00:23:54,100 --> 00:23:56,186
I got rid of some
of the distance.
592
00:23:56,227 --> 00:23:58,688
- I did say that.
593
00:23:58,730 --> 00:24:00,899
Okay.
594
00:24:00,940 --> 00:24:02,692
You enjoy your weekend.
595
00:24:02,734 --> 00:24:05,278
- Thank you, pretty baby.
596
00:24:05,320 --> 00:24:06,905
Let's go, babe.
597
00:24:06,946 --> 00:24:09,032
- Ugh, Dawn's song
was just embarrassing.
598
00:24:09,074 --> 00:24:11,785
Reminds me of the time Dan
Cortese showed me his poetry.
599
00:24:11,826 --> 00:24:13,620
- You know,
I don't understand this
600
00:24:13,661 --> 00:24:16,081
at all, but, uh,
601
00:24:16,122 --> 00:24:18,166
good luck to you two, I guess.
602
00:24:18,208 --> 00:24:20,001
- Thank you.
603
00:24:20,043 --> 00:24:22,128
See, Cray,
Nick doubted our thang
604
00:24:22,170 --> 00:24:23,588
'cause what
he doesn't get is that we--
605
00:24:23,630 --> 00:24:25,965
[phone alarm going off]
606
00:24:26,007 --> 00:24:28,385
- On twigs.
[horn tooting]
607
00:24:28,426 --> 00:24:30,387
- Yup!
- Oof!
608
00:24:30,428 --> 00:24:31,971
- Yup.
609
00:24:32,013 --> 00:24:35,183
[both giggling]
610
00:24:35,225 --> 00:24:37,352
- What is happening?
- It's for TikTok.
611
00:24:37,394 --> 00:24:38,853
We'll add music
and graphics later.
612
00:24:38,895 --> 00:24:40,855
- Who is he?
- That's my twin brother, Ray.
613
00:24:40,897 --> 00:24:41,940
- And that's
my twin brother Cray.
614
00:24:41,981 --> 00:24:44,567
[together] And together,
we're Cray.
615
00:24:44,609 --> 00:24:47,946
- This whole thing
was a 48 for 48 challenge,
616
00:24:47,987 --> 00:24:50,031
a prank to see if we could
get an older woman
617
00:24:50,073 --> 00:24:52,534
to date us for 48 hours
without her noticing.
618
00:24:52,575 --> 00:24:54,327
- Oh, my God, Cray.
619
00:24:54,369 --> 00:24:55,829
I Stan you guys.
620
00:24:55,870 --> 00:24:57,539
I love the one
where you give Ambien
621
00:24:57,580 --> 00:24:59,374
to a bunch of first responders.
622
00:24:59,416 --> 00:25:02,502
- Thanks lil' ho.
Everyone said it was impossible,
623
00:25:02,544 --> 00:25:04,045
especially our girlfriends,
624
00:25:04,087 --> 00:25:05,922
'cause we had tried it
with a bunch of other ladies
625
00:25:05,964 --> 00:25:08,216
who knew right away,
but you never did.
626
00:25:08,258 --> 00:25:10,802
You're a straight up
narcissist, Wickie!
627
00:25:10,844 --> 00:25:11,928
Ha ha!
628
00:25:11,970 --> 00:25:13,680
- But we had sex.
629
00:25:13,722 --> 00:25:14,889
How dare you.
630
00:25:14,931 --> 00:25:16,433
- Nah, man.
- We never touched you.
631
00:25:16,474 --> 00:25:19,394
[video game noises]
632
00:25:19,436 --> 00:25:22,397
[sexual moaning]
633
00:25:25,233 --> 00:25:27,402
- I have been told
that my sexuality
634
00:25:27,444 --> 00:25:28,903
is slightly performative.
635
00:25:28,945 --> 00:25:31,364
- Pfft! Wickieroy,
636
00:25:31,406 --> 00:25:33,158
you got Crayed!
637
00:25:33,199 --> 00:25:34,909
Hahaha!
638
00:25:34,951 --> 00:25:36,327
- This is amazing,
'cause the world,
639
00:25:36,369 --> 00:25:38,872
you know, it finally
makes sense again, so...
640
00:25:38,913 --> 00:25:39,873
just hang in there, all right?
641
00:25:39,914 --> 00:25:41,750
Be strong. You got this.
642
00:25:41,791 --> 00:25:43,585
- Oh, honey.
643
00:25:43,626 --> 00:25:46,004
- TikTok dicklets.
644
00:25:48,131 --> 00:25:49,924
- Well, how'd it go?
645
00:25:49,966 --> 00:25:52,385
- Bad, Dolly Parton.
What the hell?
646
00:25:52,427 --> 00:25:54,137
- Maybe fasting's
not your thing.
647
00:25:54,179 --> 00:25:55,680
Maybe you're more of an Elvis.
648
00:25:55,722 --> 00:25:58,475
- I started talking about
corpse sex immediately.
649
00:25:58,516 --> 00:25:59,934
Why'd you let me do that?
650
00:25:59,976 --> 00:26:02,187
- Because I'm not
the real Dolly Parton.
651
00:26:02,228 --> 00:26:04,647
I'm your hallucination
of Dolly Parton.
652
00:26:04,689 --> 00:26:07,108
That's why I don't look
or sound quite right.
653
00:26:07,150 --> 00:26:09,819
That's why my eyes
are as brown as donkey shit.
654
00:26:09,861 --> 00:26:11,321
My ass hasn't been this big
655
00:26:11,363 --> 00:26:13,073
since Beth's little whorehouse.
656
00:26:13,114 --> 00:26:15,408
I'm starting to think you don't
know that much about her.
657
00:26:15,450 --> 00:26:17,243
- I know you're
a coal miner's daughter.
658
00:26:17,285 --> 00:26:19,746
- Ha ha! That's Loretta Lynn.
659
00:26:19,788 --> 00:26:21,122
Now look,
660
00:26:21,164 --> 00:26:22,832
you can't expect
your first song
661
00:26:22,874 --> 00:26:25,794
to be anything
more than racoon tits.
662
00:26:25,835 --> 00:26:28,755
The real Dolly
wrote 5,000 songs
663
00:26:28,797 --> 00:26:30,632
before she had that magic day
664
00:26:30,674 --> 00:26:32,258
where she wrote two hits.
665
00:26:32,300 --> 00:26:34,344
The good news
is you've only got
666
00:26:34,386 --> 00:26:37,389
4,999 more to go.
667
00:26:37,430 --> 00:26:39,057
You started writing.
668
00:26:39,099 --> 00:26:41,059
That's more
than most people do.
669
00:26:41,101 --> 00:26:43,144
Now keep doing.
670
00:26:43,186 --> 00:26:44,854
- You're right, Dolly.
671
00:26:44,896 --> 00:26:47,691
- Ha ha!
672
00:26:47,732 --> 00:26:49,818
Goodbye, Dawn.
673
00:26:49,859 --> 00:26:53,029
[uplifting music]
674
00:26:55,615 --> 00:26:57,742
- I need to eat something.
675
00:26:57,784 --> 00:27:00,870
- [laughing to self]
676
00:27:03,581 --> 00:27:05,375
Oh.
677
00:27:06,835 --> 00:27:09,546
Hmm...
678
00:27:11,464 --> 00:27:12,674
Yeah.
679
00:27:12,716 --> 00:27:14,426
That feels good.
680
00:27:16,302 --> 00:27:18,680
- Ma'am, we're very much
pranking you.
681
00:27:18,722 --> 00:27:20,432
- Mm-hmm.
682
00:27:20,473 --> 00:27:23,977
- * And I'm afraid
that on Ancestry.com *
683
00:27:24,019 --> 00:27:27,439
* I might find out I have
a bunch of half-siblings *
684
00:27:27,480 --> 00:27:31,901
* And they'll want
to be in my life *
685
00:27:33,486 --> 00:27:36,322
* I'm afraid that
if I got an awful disease *
686
00:27:36,364 --> 00:27:38,116
* I wouldn't be brave *
687
00:27:38,158 --> 00:27:39,701
* I'd just be
a bitch and be mean *
688
00:27:39,743 --> 00:27:42,454
* Or if I needed emergency
heart surgery *
689
00:27:42,495 --> 00:27:45,999
* The doctor would go
"Hello nipple hair" *
690
00:27:46,041 --> 00:27:49,377
* I'm afraid *
691
00:27:49,419 --> 00:27:52,172
* That under every bus stop
is a sinkhole of rats *
692
00:27:52,213 --> 00:27:55,050
* And I'm afraid *
693
00:27:55,091 --> 00:27:57,177
* They lie
about expiration dates *
694
00:27:57,218 --> 00:27:59,554
* And my hummus is fungus *
695
00:27:59,596 --> 00:28:01,890
* I'm afraid that
the second I leave town *
696
00:28:01,931 --> 00:28:04,225
* I'll get a UTI *
697
00:28:04,267 --> 00:28:07,479
* Why can't they just sell
those pills over the counter *
698
00:28:07,520 --> 00:28:09,230
* I don't need a doctor *
699
00:28:09,272 --> 00:28:11,608
* I know exactly what it is *
700
00:28:11,649 --> 00:28:13,193
* Oh *
701
00:28:13,234 --> 00:28:15,403
* Back to my kid *
702
00:28:15,445 --> 00:28:17,864
* I have more stuff
about him *
703
00:28:17,906 --> 00:28:20,742
* I only breastfed
for four months *
704
00:28:20,784 --> 00:28:23,370
* Is he gonna
be a bond trader? *
705
00:28:23,411 --> 00:28:25,497
* And of course *
706
00:28:25,538 --> 00:28:28,667
* I'm afraid that
my grandparents' ghosts *
707
00:28:28,708 --> 00:28:30,710
* Have all seen me *
708
00:28:30,752 --> 00:28:35,590
* Masturbate *
709
00:28:37,967 --> 00:28:39,469
* I'm sorry *
710
00:28:41,137 --> 00:28:43,473
* I'm sorry Nana *
711
00:28:44,724 --> 00:28:46,476
- Good night everybody.
- Good night.
48525
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