All language subtitles for Weekenders.2021.1080p.WEB-DL.DD5.1.H264-CMRG

Provided by explosiveskull
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- Dad, hey.
- Harper, honey.

You made it there in one piece?

Yeah, fully intact.

How's it look?

It's
better than the pictures.

All right.
Come on, give me a tour.

Uh, how...

Dad, don't even. Hold
on, don't try, hold on.

I got it, I got it.

Hey, can you see me?

Hey, Dad.

Hi, Harper.

Give me a sec, I
gotta find the key.

Brave new world.

Hm?

When you were a kid, I told
you not to talk to strangers,

and definitely not to
go into their houses.

Now you're making a
vacation out of both.

Okay, it's not a
vacation, Dad. It's a trip.

Semantics.

It's perfect.

Think you'll find
what you're looking for?

Don't make it sound so lofty.

Too small. What's it say?

"Thank you for staying
at the Forest Preserve.

We hope it will be
an oasis for you,

the way it always
has been for us."

Neil, come
on. We're gonna be late!

Sorry to cut this short,
buttercup, but that's my cue.

Denise?

First week
of rumba classes.

Don't look so surprised.

Listen, I'll try
again tomorrow, okay?

All right, don't break a hip.

- I'll do my darndest.
- Bye, Dad.

Hi.

Hi.

Who are you?

Who are you?

- You don't get to do that.
- Do what?

You don't get to "who are
you" while I'm who are-ing you.

You can't just walk
in here like you own-

- My parents own this place.
- What?

Sorry, are you
booked this weekend?

Shit, uh, sorry.

My dad told me he blocks
the weekends off for me.

- He's not very text-savvy.
- Listen, I can just-

- I can call him. I
should've double-checked.

Let me just call him.

Okay.

Hey, Dad, you said this place
wasn't booked this weekend.

Well, uh, it is and
she's here and I'm here,

and you've gotta give her
her money back or something.

Dad, I don't care. It's not a
good look for me or for you.

Please just do it, thank you.

He told me he's gonna
reverse the charges.

Money should be back
on your card on Monday.

Am I getting kicked out?

No. No, uh, place is yours.

Oh, well then the refund's
really not necessary.

That's what my dad said too,

but I spooked him with the
prospect of a bad review.

This place hasn't really
been renting, so...

Well, thank you.

Thank you for the
restraint, by the way.

I know the knife
drawer was probably

looking pretty
tempting a second ago,

but I assure you, I'm harmless.

That's exactly what
a murderer would say.

That is a fair point.

I'm James.

Harper.

That's a cool name.

Thanks, it was a
birthday present.

Okay, uh...

Um, hey, do you want a drink?

I mean, you know, if you drink?

Am I still a
suspected murderer?

Well, totally, but if I have
any chance of escaping you,

then I'm gonna have to
ply you with alcohol.

At least, that's how I
survived the last guy, so-

- I don't want to impose.

- It's your house.
- Parents' house.

- Same thing.
- Still.

Look, I took a year of
jujitsu when I was eight,

so I'm pretty sure I can kick
your ass if you try anything.

Plus, my sister and I took
one of those like women's

defense classes where
you learn to kill a guy

with like a pen or a key or a...

Oh, shit.

Oh, shit, shit, shit.

Come on, come on.
Come on, come on.

Yeah, I was wondering
whose this was.

Thought maybe the cleaning
people were still around.

Nope, it's mine!

I can take you
into town, if you want,

and get you some gas.

No, I mean, it's fine.

I have AAA, I'll
give them a call.

I'm gonna be way faster out
here, if you want. You know.

I mean, you've already
refunded the stay.

I can't let you buy me gas.

Oh, I didn't say
I was paying, so...

Right.

- Uh, yeah. Yeah, thanks.
- Yeah?

Okay.

So why Plymouth for
your getaway adventure,

or whatever this is?

Oh, um, I went to Middlebury.

I haven't been back to
Vermont since graduation.

I had the weekend, so I don't
know, I thought I'd just like-

- Relive the glory days?

Explore some places
I might have missed.

I don't know, I swung through
campus on the way here, it's,

it's different.

Do people really do that?

Like come back and go to parties

where nobody knows them anymore?

Some.

- You?
- Oh, no.

I mean, homecoming,
but you know.

Where'd you go?

- Dartmouth.
- And you graduated?

Yes.

My question was actually when.

Four years ago.

- Three.
- Huh, I'd have guessed two.

Baby face?

No, you just don't
look entirely jaded yet.

Good luck.

Got any CDs?

Yeah, there
might be a couple in there.

What!

Oh, shit.

Oh, my god. What's the album?

It's a mix tape.

No shit. Really?

Really.

Sorry I just haven't seen any
of these in the wild lately.

Who made it?

Uh, I did.

Rad.

- Let's listen.
- Uh...

We all had a
Spice Girls phase.

It is nothing to be ashamed of.

It's personal.

Your relationship
with the Spice Girls?

It was for an ex, so...

Got ya.

Did she like it?

She never got it.

There's a story there.

Not one for tonight.

Come on.

Is she from around here?

Sort of. It was
a summer thing.

I really wanna listen to it.

Your request has been received

and it's currently under review.

Someone will get back to you
in three to five business days.

- You're the worst.
- That's a popular opinion.

Dramatic.

Come on, just tell
me the good stuff.

Like, what's the best date
you guys ever went on?

You see that house over there?

That's where Coolidge
got inaugurated.

August, 1923.

This messenger came through town

and started telling everyone
that Harding had died,

and Coolidge's dad swore
him in by candlelight

- at like three in the morning.
- Why do you know that?

I kinda obsess about the past.

- History major?
- Uh, enthusiast.

Think it makes for
good small talk.

Is it working?

I mean, you haven't
lost my interest yet.

I just think
it's wild something so big

could happen somewhere
so small, you know?

Hm.

So she's the one
who ended it, right?

Hm?

Mix tape girl?

I mean, that's always
how it goes, right?

No, not always.

I mean, not to get
personal, but I mean, like,

how many times has a guy been
the one to break up with you?

I mean, I don't know,
but it's happened.

Totally, totally. I just...

Statistically, I just...

Oh, uh, sorry. Hold on.

Of course.

Um...

- I should-
- Totally, yeah, yeah.

I can...

- I'll be, yeah.
- Cool, okay.

Hey, sorry.

No, I'm there.

- Oh, that's sweet.
- Mm.

Think they're still together?

Probably not,
but...

- Pessimist.
- Eh, realist.

Everything cool?

Hm?

Phone call.

Oh! Uh, yeah.

No, yeah. Everything's...

Why? Did I sound like I was-

- No, just, uh, Checkin' in.

Thanks.

It was fun.

Yeah.

Let's get that
gas in your car.

So, um, where are
you staying tonight?

Don't know yet, actually.

Do you have any
friends in town, or...

Not anymore.

Probably just bum it
at some cheap hotel.

That sucks.

It's just a couple nights.

Look, I don't want this to
be weird or anything, but um,

I mean, the person I was
staying with, he bailed on me

last minute and I mean,
it is a two-bedroom,

which obviously
you already know.

I wasn't trying to
guilt you or anything.

No, I know, and that's...

That's why I offered.

Are you sure?

Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, like I said.

Jujitsu.

Right.

Okay, um, so
there's no mirror selfies

or photos with fish, which
is good, it's a good start.

I am immediately
regretting this.

It's too late. Keep stirring.

Okay, so it's, uh, it's not bad.

It's not, it's just that, um...

Your photos, they...

I mean, your photos
have no personality.

Ouch.

You
asked for my help.

Uh, I believe you
asked to help me.

Um, I'm gonna need
a replay on that,

because I'm pretty sure
you're the one who asked me-

- Okay, okay, lead by example.

Show me yours.

Oh, I don't have one.

Of course not.

Hey, before you
question my credentials,

I definitely used to.

And did you delete
out of frustration,

or because you found what
you were looking for?

Also, follow-up question.

Does he or does he not
have an eight-pack?

We are not talking
about me right now,

and you need to keep stirring.

Uh-uh.

Oh, my god, it's perfect.

No, you have to upload this.
This is the first photo.

- Absolutely not.
- What?

Come on, personality!

Mm-mm, mm-mm.

- How's it looking?
- Uh, you tell me.

Yeah, good.

- Mm! Mm!
- Yeah?

It's good, that
can go on the sheet.

Okay.

Also, where is your bio?

Not worth the time.

- Are you kidding?
- What am I supposed to do?

Write the same shit
everybody else does?

Do the sarcastic subversion
thing? That's sad.

I mean, I don't
know, but you need something.

- Says who?
- Um, your empty inbox.

Ouch again!

Look, just let me
write something for you.

Just don't make it stupid.

That's the spirit.

Come on, this is
supposed to be fun.

Was it fun for you?

I mean, yeah.

I just went on when I was
bored. It's like a game.

Yeah, that's like
part of the problem.

My therapist says that...
Sorry, is that weird?

Therapy? No, therapy's cool.

Cool, yeah, she says that
it's important to be intentional

about this stuff, which like,
I agree with, but it's hard

when it feels like my only
options are frivolous or forever.

I mean, okay, so what
are you looking for?

Something in between?

Isn't everybody?

Yes, I guess, but it does
not always feel that way.

Okay, but that frustration's
not like exclusive to guys.

No, it's not, you know,
it's just different.

Like I've been in the inboxes
for some of my female friends.

Like they've let me look
in some of their inboxes,

and it's, um, different,
just like volume wise.

- The total number of-
- Unsolicited dick pics?

That's a thing?

Yeah. You
want me to show you?

You save them? Okay.

Well, I mean, I've
screenshotted a few.

- Only the winners, though.
- The winner?

I don't know... Okay.

Sorry, that's really shitty.

Don't apologize for
something you didn't do.

I'm just saying.

I mean, performative
nice-guying

is about as pervasive as
the dick pics themselves.

Not what I'm doing. I'm
not doing any of that.

Unless you blind-sighted
some poor, helpless female

with your unsolicited...

No, my you-know has not
blind-sighted any helpless female.

I know. I'm just
busting your balls.

Um... Let's get these
in the oven, yeah?

Yeah.

Broken femur from a skiing
accident's definitely a lie.

That's way too specific.

Don't look at my face!

You're not getting
anything out of me.

Fine, been in love
twice. Final answer, lie.

You're wrong.

Damn it. What was it?

A skiing accident.

It was my wrist, not my femur,
and I was seven, not eight.

- That's cheating.
- How is it cheating?

You know
exactly how it's cheating.

I lied, didn't I?

The half-lie is
very manipulative.

That is why I'm undefeated.

Twice, huh?

Yeah.

I think so.

I mean, now I'm
curious, but...

Well, if you must know...

Okay, so first time
was in kindergarten.

Recess.

It was Halloween just
after the costume parade,

and he was an astronaut,
I was a pumpkin.

Oh, my god.

I mean, he was
crazy decked out.

Like, this wasn't the
Party City shit, okay?

This was the real deal.

Like his aunt must've worked
for NASA or something.

And I'm in this puffy orange
thing that my mom made me,

and I'm sitting on
the swings alone,

and he comes over to me from
whatever game he's playing.

He stares me dead in
the eyes and says,

"I wish I looked
as cool as you."

And just walks away.

Total bad ass, like, he
just had to tell me that

before he could keep playing.

And that was it?

Yeah, that was it.

T.J. Bellis.

That's love?

Sure felt like it.

You were five.

And?

And...

Number two?

That, my friend,
is classified.

- Oh, come on.
- No, final answer.

Fine, fine.

And you?

Hm?

Love.

Oh, um...

- Sorry, I should go-
- Yeah, totally.

Do you need
help cleaning up, or-

- No, it's good. I got it.

- Are you sure?
- It's like four cans.

Okay.
I'll take this one.

Um...

- See you in the morning?
- Mm-hm.

This is Blake.

Hey, um, it's me.

I saw your message and I
thought I'd give you a call.

To say goodnight, or whatever.

But no pressure.

Just, we'll talk
when we talk. Um...

Yeah, anyway...

I hope you have a good night.

Bye.

- Oh, my god. Hi.
- What's up?

- I thought you were working?
- I took the day off.

Thought I'd surprise you.

Wow, this is
really unexpected, I-

- Well, you made such a big
thing about it. I figured-

- No, I know, I
just didn't think

that you'd actually
be able to come, so-

- Can I come in?
- Yeah.

Morning.

Morning. Hi, uh, I'm James.

Blake.

Who are... Who is this?

James's family owns
the place and, um,

there was a scheduling mix-up.

He came up yesterday from...

- Boston.
- Boston!

"Boston?"

Yeah, um, long story
short, he's super chill.

So, I thought that it
made more sense for him to

take the downstairs bedroom
than like blow money on a hotel.

You know?

Totally.

Do you guys wants
breakfast, or...

Look, it's just kinda weird.

I know, but come
on. What was I supposed to do?

Send his ass to the Marriott?

Look, I didn't even
know that you were coming.

Exactly. So what do you think
it was like walking into that?

No, I know, but I told
you nothing happened.

I know what you
said, but most guys-

- What? Would've thought
that I sucked his dick?

Don't be gross.

Look, I just, I don't
see how it's any different

than if I just rented a room
instead of the whole house.

If you don't see the
difference between-

- I didn't do anything wrong!
- Harper!

I didn't come here to fight.

I'm not,
I'm not fighting.

I woke up at the
ass-crack of dawn,

- just so I could beat traffic.
- I know.

- To hang out with you.
- I know and I'm sorry.

I'm really happy to see you.

I'm really happy
that you're here.

Blueberry or banana?

Wow, that's a toughie.

- Harper?
- Um...

Blueberries cool?

There's a maple tree
a few yards that way

with a spigot on it if you
guys want the fresh stuff.

Well, I never say
no to fresh sap.

Pretty sure that's not
even how maple syrup works.

It's really good, James.

Thanks.

Do you always
come with the place,

- or did we just get lucky?
- Blake.

What? No, this is some
serious bed and breakfast shit.

I'm into it.

Guess fortune
smiled.

You sure the whole
scheduling mishap

wasn't just a fun
way to say "hi?"

Look, if it was, they'd
be losing a lot of money.

James refunded the whole
stay, no questions asked.

Good.

What're, um, what're
you guys doing today?

We are going on a run.
We're training for a half.

Yeah, I used to
run in college.

And I rented a boat
for the afternoon.

- A boat?
- Sounds fun.

Yeah.

If you're looking for some
good trails, there are some

great ones over at Coolidge
Homestead, it's the place-

- Oh, yeah, the one that
you told me about yesterday

after you came
back with the gas?

- The gas?
- Yeah.

Yeah, my car crapped out
right when I got here, so um,

James played handyman
while I got settled.

It was really nice.

How chivalrous.

Yeah, um, you know,
if you guys wanna bop,

totally go for it, I'm gonna
be around for a little.

If you need anything,
Harper, you have the-

- Yeah, maybe you'll come
on the boat with us later?

If there's room?

Yeah, totally, possibly.

I might be meeting
up with somebody, so-

- I thought
you said everybody

- you knew was out of town?
- They are.

My friend just took this
new photo of me, I'm gonna

try uploading to Tinder,
'cause they say the algorithms

boost when you're out of
town, it's really stupid.

Not stupid at all.
Appreciate the hustle, brother.

Yeah, yeah. It's, uh...

It's challenging.

So I think it's
right down here?

Yeah. It's like
the one way to go.

Wanna do what,
an eighth today?

Okay.

- Ready?
- Right.

- Let's go.
- I'll start us.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Yeah.

Yeah, we have like no service.

Yeah, I'll be in tomorrow.

We're all set for Friday.

I told you, it's not an issue.

Okay.

Harper!

Let's go! Come on!

Yeah, I've been
up here since May,

doing summer stock in Weston.

We just closed the last show.

My mom was a dancer, so...

- I know the life, yeah.
- That is so cute!

Did she like teach you how
to tap dance or something?

She definitely tried,

but my sister definitely
got most of that.

And you have a sister? Cute.

Is she like, is she
in the business too?

Oh, no, she's in med school.

God bless.

Four years plus a
residency? No, thanks.

Not for me.

I just graduated BOCO and I'm
like ready to go, you know?

I mean, a long
gig right of school,

that's like really good, right?

Yes, it's so blessed to have
those contracts. So grateful.

But at the same time,

I'm also so ready to
be back in the city.

Four weeks with the same
people, it kinda make you crazy.

I mean, I can imagine.

So, your profile says you're
just here for the weekend?

Yeah, uh, quick
trip. In and out, yeah.

Yeah, totally.

I'm leaving tomorrow.

Yeah, there's
like no pressure.

I don't want you to feel like
you have to do anything, or-

- I haven't gotten
laid all summer.

12 gays, two straight guys
and 19 horny chorus girls.

Do the math.

Damn, dude. Must've
been a good pic.

Oh.

Hi! I'm Alison.

- Blake.
- Harper.

Sorry, um, I neglected to
mention this is an Airbnb.

- I mean, it's my house, but-
- Parents' house.

Right, parents' house. Sorry.

This is, uh, a
scheduling mix-up.

We're all staying here now.
I'm sorry if that's weird.

Do you know how many
housemates I had this summer?

It's nothing. I was doing
summer stock in Weston.

Oh, damn. Sign
me up.

- Are you union?
- I have no idea.

Well, auditions are
always cutthroat, but,

you have a real leading
man vibe to you.

So you'd definitely get
through the initial type-out.

I thought you guys
were renting a boat?

- Oh, we love boats.
- Me too!

- Me too.
- Yeah, boats are cool.

Sorry, I just didn't realize

you guys were gonna
be back so soon.

I wanted to change.

Oh, and James, don't forget.

That offer I made at
breakfast? Still stands.

What offer?

Join us
on the boat, my man.

We've got an eight-person
bowrider. Plenty of room.

That sounds so fun!

So fun.

Come on, what
do you say, Jimmy?

How about a little
maritime adventure?

I didn't know
that was your nickname.

It's not.

This thing goes to 45?

Yeah, it's a
super-charged engine.

Last week, I pushed
her up to 48.

Awesome.

If you want, later, I'll
be happy to let you drive.

Ah, I don't know.

I might crash us into somethin'.

Ah, it's not that hard.

He is such a boy.

Yeah, yeah. Mopeds,
ATVs, dirt bikes.

It's kind of his thing.

Lucky you.

Yeah. Yeah, he's somethin'.

Do you ride, James?

I had an electric
scooter when I was a kid.

You know, being out here on
the water really reminds me

of my production of "Anything
Goes," I played Hope-

- Hey, Blake?

- What?
- Could you get me a beer?

- You want?
- No, I'm good, thanks.

Those days are kinda
long gone for me

and I think I wanna keep my
boating license, but you know,

you guys have a good
time this afternoon.

Oh, we will.

- All right.
- Thank you.

All right. What
should we toast to?

To life!

To life.

James, I gotta tell you,
you found a good one here.

To life.

You know what? I'm
gonna go for a swim.

James.

Hold my beer.

Harper, come on. Let's go.

Oh, I didn't bring my suit.

Harper, we're on a boat.

Why didn't you bring
your bathing suit?

I didn't bring
mine either, so...

James, we're on a boat.

Why didn't you bring
your bathing suit?

I'll swim.

Did you remember to
bring your bathing suit?

No, but I don't care.

Harper?

Yeah. Sorry, I do care.

James?

Yeah, no, sorry,
I'm way too drunk.

So, yeah.

Suit yourself.

- Be safe, Blake.
- Always.

- You ready?
- So ready.

You're cool with getting
everything wet, right?

- Yeah.
- Its gonna be pretty deep.

All right, so on three,
we're gonna jump in.

Okay, wait,
on three or on go?

On three.

I'm gonna count to three and
then we're gonna jump in.

Oh, my god. Okay.

One.

- Two.
- Two!

- Three.
- Three!

I got scared!

Oh!

Come here! I got ya.

Did you feel that?

What was that?

That wasn't me.

- That was not me.
- You're so annoying.

It's the truth.

You're not sorry.

You wanna play a game?

First, get over here.

To life.

Try and
stand on my hands.

It appears your
master plan worked.

Yeah, a little
too well, apparently.

What did
you put in my bio?

"Here for a good
time, not a long time.

- Catch me if you can."
- That's objectively terrible.

- Clearly not.
- What does that even mean?

Well, that's the
beauty of it, right?

It's the ambiguity. Is it music
lyrics, a movie reference?

A thinly veiled way of saying

that you're time
in town is limited

and you're looking to
copulate and make it count.

Option C is
definitely the inference

that she made about me.

Oh.

Sorry, it's my dad.

Dad, hey.

Harper, how are you, sweetie?

Pretty, pretty good, yeah.

Where are you?
It looks beautiful.

Oh, um, yeah, it's Lake Echo.

Let me give you the
full view, so um,

over there is
where the house is.

And then the sunset is
gonna be back over this way.

Who's that?

Oh! Um, it's-

- Hi! I'm
Neil, Harper's dad.

It's not him, Dad.

Sweetie, I thought
you said he wasn't coming?

Yeah, yeah, it's not
him and he can hear you.

Oh.

Who's he, then?

He's just a friend.

It's good to meet
you anyway, sir.

Likewise.

When do I get to meet
this guy, Harper?

I don't know. When it
feels like something?

Well, it's
been six months.

Yeah and very inconsistent.

Listen, Dad, I can't talk
about this right now, okay?

Fine. Sorry to press.

- It's fine.
- I just...

Look, I know and I love
you for it, but I gotta go.

- Enjoy the water.
- Okay, love you.

Bye, Dad.

He seems cool.

He is.

So you and Blake, uh...

Sorry if I'm getting in
the way of the weekend,

or whatever this
is supposed to be.

No, it's
fine, he...

He seems to enjoy the company.

- Here you go.
- Thank you so much.

No problem.

Oh!

You don't
have to do that.

Just in case
the guys come out.

Oh, I mean, not like he's
not gonna see it later anyway.

James, I mean.

What?

Oh, it's just funny.

What's funny?

Me, you, this porch,
Vermont. Like, what?

Totally.
It's like fate.

Yeah or like
completely random, right?

I mean, I didn't even know
who you were six hours ago,

and now a couple
of algorithms on some apps's

just made it happen, but
I mean, after tomorrow,

it's not like we're ever
gonna see each other again

or remember each other's names
or that this ever happened.

Oh, don't say that!

What's your Instagram?

She's hot, man.

- Hm?
- Tinder chick, Ali?

- Solid seven.
- We're just hanging out.

That's
the way to be.

Can't take 'em too serious.

I thought you were
kind of a simp this morning,

but you're actually
pretty chill.

Thank you.

Listen, I'm
gonna help you out.

- How?
- I'm gonna wing-man for ya.

Get her juices
flowin'. Hang tight.

Ladies.

Wanna play a game?

What kind of game?

Come in, I'll show you.

This...

Is Paranoia.

One by one, we'll go
around in a circle,

and when it's your turn,
you'll pick someone,

and ask them a "who" question.

A "who" question?

Yeah. Like, "who here
lost their virginity last?"

Or, who do you think
is into butt stuff?

Seriously?

It's an example.

- I got it.
- Good.

And then the person will answer.

But no one else will
know what was asked.

So if you wanna find out,

you have to take a shot.

Who wants to go first?

Me it is.

Eenie.

Meenie.

Minie.

Moe.

Go on.

It's a tough one.

Well, there's only four
of us to choose from.

Can I pick myself?

Yeah, if you
think that's the answer.

Then...

Yeah.

Me.

That's hot.

All right. Your turn.

Uh...

James.

Blake.

You don't wanna know?

I already know who he thinks
has the biggest dick, so...

Does that mean it's my turn?

Interesting.

Alison.

Definitely.

Oh, damn it.

Tell me.

I asked who you think is most
likely to cheat on someone.

Okay, it was sophomore year
and he was really boring.

Hey, no judgment
here. We're all people.

Yeah, I mean,
anything goes, right?

The musical you were
in, I was referencing-

- Oh.

All right. Alison,
you're up again.

No, let Harper go. She
hasn't had a turn yet.

Oh, no, I'm good.

No, she's right.

Harper, come on. Ask a question.

Okay.

You, Harper.

Well?

She asked who do I think-

- I asked "who do you
think is hiding something?"

Time for round two.

Which means two shots,

and we're moving on to
"yes" or "no" questions.

You would?

Yeah.

I would.

Let's hear it.

I asked her if she would
give up sex for a year,

- to be on Broadway.
- It's my dream.

Honestly, Harper.

I don't know what you're
so paranoid about.

It's my turn.

Oh, two in a row.

Yeah.

I do.

Oh, come on, James. You
gotta ask her about that one.

All right.

Fine, I'll do it.

One.

Two.

She asked me if
I thought James

was gonna sleep with me tonight.

Oh-hoo! Making friends
real quick around here.

You drank, it's your turn.

What?

- Do you need me to repeat the question?
- Why would you ask me that?

It's Paranoia, James. Answer.

- Haven't thought about it.
- So think about.

- That's my answer.
- Eh, that's not an answer.

My answer is I
don't have an answer.

Aggressive.

Harper, that's like
four shots in two minutes.

- I'm fine.
- She's fine.

What'd he ask?

It's not, it doesn't matter.

I asked him who he felt
was hotter. You or Alison.

What? That's not even
a "yes" or "no" question.

- Oops.
- Why did you have to think about it? No offense.

Why are we doing this?

'Cause it's fun. Aren't
you having fun, James?

- I'm having fun.
- See? She's having fun.

Can I ask a question?

Technically it's
Harper's turn.

No, it's okay, James. Go
ahead, ask your question.

So you're forgoing your turn?

Yeah, I'm forgoing my turn.

Another wasted
opportunity, but hey-

- What the fuck does that mean?

- Relax. You're embarrassing-
- "Relax?"

Stop.

- James, it's your turn, bud.
- Oh, my god!

Yes.

You know, I don't know
if you wanna know.

My impending hangover
would suggest otherwise.

He asked if I was
tired of this game.

I don't think that's
what he asked you.

Well, it is, and I am.

James?

Yeah, I guess
Paranoia's not a misnomer.

You still tired?

- Morning.
- Morning.

- Good night?
- Yeah.

You?

Yeah.

Bye.

- See you in the city?
- Mm-hm.

By the way,
cookies are overdone.

Hey.

Thank you so much,
I had so much fun.

You're so welcome.

And remember,
I'm @allycat88_3.

Yeah, did you see
James this morning?

Oh, he wasn't
here when I woke up.

Oh.

His loss, right?

Yeah, totally.

- Shuttle's leaving!
- Coming!

I thought you
were taking an Uber?

Oh, he said he was
passing the station.

Summer stock doesn't
really pay, so...

Toodles!

Hey.

Quite the itinerary.

Yeah, it's uh,
subject to change.

I just figured I'd leave a
roadmap of my whereabouts,

- in case you got bored.
- Oh.

You know, you could
just leave your number,

like a normal person.

Yeah, I kinda get in my head

when I'm hoping someone's
gonna text me back, so...

So you slipped out early.

Just quietly.

Blake leave?

Yeah. Yeah, about
a half-hour ago?

Alison said you left
without saying goodbye.

Yeah, we're uh, now in the
latter stages of the texting,

chilling and ghosting cycle, so-

- Oh, I know it well.

Victim or perpetrator?

Totally, right on. Love it.

- Shut up.
- Awesome. What?

You literally just said
you did the same thing.

Did not literally say it,
did not figuratively say it.

No, I did not and if I did,
it'd be totally irrelevant.

How is it irrelevant?

We're not talking about
me, we're talking about you.

- You're so...
- Hm?

So...

What?

I wanna know more
things about you.

That'd be cool.

I used to think being in
my 20s would feel so adult,

put together, you know?

But really, you just
realize more and more

how little you know about life.

It's inherently upsetting.

And what's worse is
you know there are people

who pretend like
that's not how it is.

Like the girl who cheated off
my little sister in pre-calc

is bragging about baby number
two and her forever-home

on Facebook, like give
me a break.

Sorry, you're
still on Facebook?

Shut up.

Oh, wow.

I miss this.

What do you do with all those?

I used to print 'em out and
put 'em in albums, but uh,

I haven't really shot for
myself in my while, so-

- Why?

I'm not sure if
I love it anymore.

- Something change?
- Uh, yeah.

Turned into work.

- Like professionally?
- Yeah.

Yeah, I shoot weddings.

That's cool.

It used to be.

I mean, it's gotta be better
than my nine-to-five, right?

It's a template.

It's the same eight poses
in the same three positions,

twice a week, every week, so-

- May have spoken too soon
about you not being jaded.

I don't know, I'd say numb.

I stand in a corner,
capturing identical memories,

over and over and over again.

The only thing that changes
is the flower arrangement.

Could do something else.

It's too late for me, James.

Anyway, I had a
professor tell me once that, um,

she didn't teach
because she loved it.

She taught because she was
good at it and tenured.

That's rough.

Yeah, I don't know.

It used to not make
sense to me, but now?

What about Blake?

Hm?

You said you've been
in love twice, just uh,

is he the second one?

I don't see what
this have to do with-

- Is he love or is he tenure
was the intended question.

Both, neither? I don't...

I don't know.

Sorry, I'm not trying to put
you on the spot or anything.

- I mean, you kind of are.
- I...

Just wondering. You
don't have to answer.

I guess it's not a bad thing.

You're welcome. Enjoy.

Hello.

- Are you all set?
- Yeah, this is for me.

Would you like ice cream?

Uh, yeah.
That would be great.

Okay, rotate a bit?

- Okay.
- No, sorry, towards me?

- Towards you. Stupid.
- Yes. No, that's perfect.

Still don't think
it's gonna work.

Look, I really
think it's gonna help,

and I'm not charging,
so what's the harm?

Not really
photogenic, you know.

Yeah, the one I
took on Friday worked.

- Okay, thank you for that.
- Just fine.

Okay.

Have a little faith.

You still
wanna eat this stuff?

Uh, yeah, we're not
wasting perfectly good bread.

Okay.

All right, now one together.

- Like me and you?
- Yeah.

- How?
- I have a timer.

- What will we do?
- There we go.

All right. Oh, eight seconds,
eight seconds, hurry!

- Uh, feed me, James.
- Baguette?

- Mm, grape!
- Okay.

Hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry!
We have like three seconds!

Go, go, go, eat it.

That was stupid.

I'm gonna see.

No, it's perfect.

- It's perfect?
- Mm-hm.

- Why did we do that?
- It brings it all to life.

Otherwise, you're just a
lonely boy cutting a baguette.

Wow, I feel seen.

Look, we want people to sense
the potential of this place.

Right? The romance.

People's imaginations are way
more stunted than you think.

I don't think I've ever
seen editorial photos

- for an Airbnb before.
- Well, you can be the first.

If the photos we have are so
uninspired, why did you book?

I don't know.

First impressions aren't
really a deal-breaker for me.

But I'm weird like that.

That one's just for me.

When I was a kid and I
got a crush on somebody,

it was like all-consuming.

I remember this
one summer at camp,

I found out she liked me too,

and it was like,
I was paralyzed.

Like instantaneously nauseous.

Wait, why?

Uh, I just hadn't thought
about what happened next.

Like, what I had to do now.

That's kind of adorable.

I mean, that's just
how it is, right?

Even now, people start
questioning everything

when shit gets real.

I don't know, I mean,

statistically speaking, it's
way safer to date people

that you don't actually
want in your life forever.

You're gonna have to
break that one down for me.

Um...

Oh.

Sorry, I thought
I had a full battery.

Just plug it in.
There's an outlet over there.

Yeah, it doesn't play
when it's plugged in, so,

it's okay, I'll just
do it off the phone.

Uh, hold on a sec.

One sec.

All right, screw it.

- Is that-
- Yeah.

- Are those-
- You're blind.

- You wanna do this?
- Yeah.

Are you sure?

- Almost.
- You don't have to.

We're just gonna
listen to the B-side.

Okay, um, next one is,

"share what you see as
positive characteristics

of your partner,
alternate, three for each."

I think that you are very good

at diffusing awkward situations.

Thought it was my
turn to go first.

Just slipped out.

Must've been thinking
about it already.

You've doing a fair amount
of it this weekend, so...

All right, your turn.

Tell me how awesome I am.

Um...

I think that you're
genuinely kind.

That's better than mine.

You also have nice
eyes and good taste

in late 2000s sad boy music.

I thought we were
supposed to alternate?

- Just slipped out.
- Hm.

Okay, my turn?

Mm-hm.

I like that you have a good
relationship with your dad.

That's boring.

Okay, nice eyes.
Nice nose, nice-

- It's too late.

- Um...
- What's the third?

I think you're a good liar.

- What?
- Last night.

What you said to Blake
at the end of Paranoia.

I didn't lie.

I didn't.

You told him I asked if
you were tired of the game.

Yeah, you did.

I asked if you wanted to sit
on the porch with me instead.

Well, it's the same thing.

James.

- Forget it.
- No, what?

- No, it's my mistake.
- No, just tell me.

I don't understand what's
happening. What are...

- What?
- It's not the same thing.

Not last night, not like that.

I don't know what
you want me to say.

You don't
have to say anything.

I know I don't
have to say anything,

but I don't know what
you want me to say.

What? Just tell me.

- No.
- What?

Because we both know

how the conversation's gonna go.

- No, we don't!
- Yes, we do.

No, we don't!

Yes, I'd rather it
just stay like this, okay?

- Like what?
- Suspended in the maybe.

Shit.

I like you too, you know?

You don't have to say that.

I know I don't
have to say that.

Just like I didn't
have to let you stay.

I don't get crushes
on people anymore.

Me either.

I kind of miss it.

Yeah, me too.

Is that him or your dad?

It doesn't matter.

This isn't normally
how it goes.

We can forget about it.

Tomorrow, if you want.

Hi.

This suddenly feels
very vulnerable.

Honestly, it's the third time
I'm recording this intro,

but I promised myself I'm
not gonna do it again, so...

Yeah.

We haven't found each other yet,

but when we do, I just, um,

I'm doing this because when
we do, I want you to know

this part of me.

The...

Experience of

wanting you before knowing you.

I guess I don't wanna forget
either, which is weird, but...

Yeah.

Anyway, this is for
you. Whoever you are.

Or who you will be.

I don't know your name
or where you're from,

or when or how we're
gonna meet, but...

When you're not just a
hazy shadow in my mind,

I hope cassette players
are still a thing.

Haven't listen to
that in a while.

Shit, um... I'm
sorry, I didn't mean to-

- I knew there was a 50/50
shot of it happening, so...

It's so lame, right?

No. No, I don't
really think so.

I really am sorry, I
didn't mean to pry.

Stop apologizing.

I thought you said
it was for that girl?

What girl?

The girl in the
car, you said that-

- I've never had a
summer fling in Plymouth.

Just, uh...

Felt like an easier explanation
than making a mix tape

for a figment of my imagination.

Especially 'cause I'd only
known you like 45 minutes, so...

James Madison and Jane Doe.

Your parents named
you after a president?

Mm-hm.

Setting the stage for a lifetime
of debilitating nostalgia.

You good?

Yeah.

Yeah, I'm good.

Uh, the instructions
said to leave them

in the rock, but considering.

Five stars, right?

You know, I was
gonna go with three!

I guess we can
meet in the middle.

Four.

- Back to New York?
- Yeah.

Pit stop in Hartford
to see my sister,

but I'll be back by tonight.

- Boston?
- Yeah.

Cool.

Cool.

Cool, cool, cool.

You know, I used to have
all the route patterns

of my favorite trails memorized.

I could run all four miles
of them with my eyes closed.

But...

Now, I don't know.

If you asked me what the color
of the apartment building

across from mine was, I...

I don't think I could tell you.

Do you have time
for breakfast?

Provided by explosiveskull
https://twitter.com/kaboomskull