All language subtitles for Tirdy Works s01e10_English

**

Well, I'm a little bit
nervous.

Hopefully you don't
[bleep] it up.

Mary: I've been working all
winter long to save Tirdy Works.

This is actually
my last shot.

The investors aren't here yet.
I haven't seen them.

What Mary presented to us
about coming up to Pittsfield

was, like, a very big concept.

Look at the diversity here.

Oh, my God.
[ Laughter ]

I'm going to be going on stage,
and then I'm gonna do my thing.

Deb: I gave Mary
an ultimatum months ago.

If this doesn't succeed,
this could be our last show.

Very stressful.

The investors
showed up really late.

Mary: I really just want
this show to go perfect.

If anything goes wrong...

My bud's not working.

...it could be disastrous
for Tirdy Works.

**

[ Animal screeches ]

[ Cheers and applause ]

I am very excited
and honored

to present your final comedian
for the evening.

You guys ready
for your final comic?
[ Applause ]

You know, the way I see it,

there's $100,000
riding on this show.

[ Cheers and applause ]
Emma: Yeah, your headliner?

Mary: I want to take this comedy
show on the road,

and hopefully we can
keep the theater open.

It's a big part
of this town's history.

So, it's important for me
to prove my concept

to the investors tonight.

She's a very funny woman
who also happens to be

the CEO and Founder
of Tirdy Works.

Emma: This is going to be
the biggest audience

Mary's ever performed
in front of,

and there's no way
to anticipate

what that feels like
until you get out there.

Once you're up there and
everyone's just looking at you,

she might freak out
and then go back to the turds.

Please clap it up
for my buddy Mary Winchenbach.

Let her hear it.
Keep it going for Mary.

[ Applause ]
Whoo!

[ Cheers and applause ]

If we have no investors,
then there's no tour.

So, it all hinges
on my performance

and how well
I can pull this off.

Hey, everybody.
Everyone can hear me okay?

Yes?
Woman: No.

No?

[ Microphone feedback whines ]

Oh, what the hell's
that noise?

Alright, so thank you all for
coming here tonight and stuff.

And I'm going to be doing
my stand-up comedy routine,

but Emma Willmann, our MC,

she's been out
kind of helping me

learn my different kinds
of comedy and everything.

And what she told me is that

I got to come stand
in front of the table,

which I think is
a little bit messed up

because I always -- my motto is
I stand behind my [bleep].

[ Laughter ]
You know,
and this is my [bleep],

and now I got
to go stand out there,

which is kind of
ass-backwards.

And another thing she told me,
if you get nervous, she goes,

"Grab a turd and put it
in your pocket for comfort."

So that's what I did.

I got turds in my top pocket
up here for comfort.

[ Laughter ]

I just wanted to kind of
introduce myself

a little bit, you know.

And my name's Mary,
and I'm from Somerville, Maine.

One of the observations
that I've made

is that I think
that Somerville needs to have

their own edition
of Webster's Dictionary.

They say seent, and fount,
and learnt, and kilt,

and smelt it,
and that ain't right.

[ Laughter ]

When I first moved into town,

we had two paved roads
in the whole town.

Now we're up to four.
[ Laughter ]

It's sad, it really is.

I mean, it's a great town,
but, honest to God,

the roads suck.
[ Laughter ]

I don't even think Mary knows
how brave she is being.

That is a lot of new stuff to do
in front of a lot of people.

I actually see
some false teeth one day,

sitting right on
side of the road.

Well, that ain't right either.

They friggin' lose
their choppers

right out of their
friggin' mouth.
[ Laughter ]

This is actually the first
product I ever started out with.

These are all sold separately,
by the way,

but these are [ding!] heads.
See?

And it's just a little turd
that got eyeballs on 'em,

but once you put those eyeballs
on that piece of [bleep],

they all get personality.

[ Laughter ]

What I'm most impressed
by what Mary's doing

is her new confidence

and her ability to weave the new
stuff in with the old stuff.

Deb and I, we take turns
parenting and stuff,

and Deb's always been
the real strict one.

But I'm more of
a passive-aggressive person.

Before school,
I usually go and say,

"Wake up", you know, "wake up."
I got the goddamn cowbell out.

And I friggin' rang that thing,
and I got their sorry asses up.

And then they kind of figured
they were going to get up

in the morning
and have bacon, eggs, and toast

and maple syrup
and smell all that.

Well, no way.
I got up and I cook haddock.

[ Laughter ]

I've got old people,
I've got kids,

I've got the kids' parents.

And everyone seems to be
enjoying the routine.

When they're bad,
they get air, that's it.

Just sit
and frickin' breathe.

[ Laughter ]

A broader routine means a
broader audience for the turds.

It all goes back to the turds,

but it doesn't all have
to be about the turds.

You know what I'm saying?

Guys, you've been great.

Thank you so much for coming out

and supporting us
at the theater.

Thank you so much.

[ Cheers and applause ]

**

[ Cheering continues ]

**

I guess I'd say Mary
is successful,

you know, to make a living
at what she loves doing.

She was the funniest one
at the Pittsfield show,

so I'd say it's okay.

**

[ Indistinct conversations ]

Mm-hmm.

So, you think it went okay?

I think it went
really well, babe.

I thought that I felt like
I missed some stuff,

and my notes look like shit.

They do.
They look like [bleep].

And then I dropped
a note down there.

Well, it's practice.
It's going to take practice.

I guess I'll practice.
Practice.

You know,
the investors were here,

and, you know, I'm just
nervous about how they...

How they saw it?
How they saw it
and how they feel

because we really
need them on board.

I mean, if we're going
to do this tour and stuff,

we need it.

Hey.
Hey, guys.

How do you think it went?
I think it went good.

But, you know, sometimes
you're your own worst enemy.

I was nervous that
I was missing some points,

but I hit them all.

Ah, let me down.

So, when you invited
us here tonight

to see your
distribution model,

we had no idea what was going
to be presented to us.

But I can tell you,
just walking in the door...
Yeah.

...and seeing what
you had on display,

we're very impressed
with what you're doing.

Nice.
Nice.

I think you guys need

just a little bit of wind
in your sails,

and we're the two guys
to do it for you.

For Mary to come on at the end,
it was like blockbuster.

She really pulled it off.

That was excellent.

Thank you. You did like it okay?

If Mary could actually
put together a tour,

then this would be...

this would be
a running start.

Thank you so much for coming by.
You're welcome.

Thank you. [ Chuckles ]
Yeah, thank you.

To hear that the investors
loved the event was --

I mean,
it just empowered me.

I felt so good about it.
I felt like I accomplished it.

I did it.

You give good hugs.
Yeah. [ Laughs ]

They're cute boys.
I know, they are cute boys.

-Yeah.
[ Laughter ]

**

[ Animal screeches ]

**

Of all my friends, Tammi could
use a break the most.

Buddy went to Alaska
on vacation

and died of a massive
heart attack.

Craig: A little bit of Tammi
died the day our son died.

And she'll never be the same.
None of us will.

But we have a good family,

and they all help us through it.

This is how I spend
a lot of my time.

I come out several times
a day and talk to Buddy.

Buddy's buried
in the backyard.

He has a radio on

24 hours a day,

and there's lights on
all night.

It's comforting
to have him home.

**

Every Sunday and Thursday
in the winter,

I start Buddy's truck
for approximately 20 minutes

to a half hour
to keep the seals lubricated

and make sure the motor's going
to keep going, don't seize up.

Buddy's always with me.
He's right here.

[ Bell dings, ignition cranks ]

Come on, baby.
[ Engine starts ]

Mary: His truck --
you cannot touch

or go near his truck
at the house.

Oh, looks good, Bud.

She waxes that all the time.

It is spotless.

[ Turns off engine ]

Good girl.

And I know
he was very outgoing.

I think that maybe he wants that
for her as well,

to get out and do stuff
and experience new things.

And you only go around once.

**

**

[ Animal screeches ]

**

[ Indistinct conversations ]

The comedy show in Pittsfield
went very well.

Tonight is Mary's
big send-off party,

and it's kind of --
it's kind of wild

this is going to come to an end.

Mary told us all last year
that she'd make Tirdy Works

into something real
before the end of winter.

She's done
pretty good with that,

and I'm really proud of her.

Bring it on.
How are you?

Come on, you little squirt.
[ Laughter ]

I've been working my ass off
for 15 years now on this,

and now it's happening.

The bread's got little pits
in it. What the hell's that?

I mean, tonight is proof
that if you believe

in something hard enough,
it's going to come true.

If you keep saying it,
it's going to happen.

They're serving grub now
if you guys want to eat.
Oh, food?

Remember,
it's $2.50 a plate.

I don't have any money.

Alright, I'll pay
your way tonight.
Yay!

-Yeah, alright. You too.
-Kayla: Oh, thanks, Mary.

Oh, my God, are you friggin'
kidding me?
[ Laughs ]

Those look like real turds.
Isn't it cute?

That is beautiful.
Thank you.

No, thank you.
Did you know about this?

And you didn't tell me?

Yeah, well I'm not
telling you stuff, too.

From now on, I'm not.

I want you to know
that I appreciate you

and I appreciate
what you've done for my mom.

Bringing fun back into her life
and some joy.

She's a stubborn old thing,
ain't she?
She sure is.

She ain't right.
Yeah, no. Not at all.

But I like her alright.

Yeah, we all do.
[ Laughs ]

[ Indistinct conversations ]

So, here we go.

Tirdy Words 2.0 is
going to be incredible.

We are going to have
our turds from coast to coast.

Every household,
I want to have turds in it.

The original challenge was
I had a great big tote

up here with 9,000 turds in it,
you know,

and I had to make
the business work,

and finally it's
starting to take off.

Once I'm out on the road,

I'm not going to be
able to collect turds.

I'm not going to be
able to mail turds,

answer e-mails, ship orders --
I mean, nothing.

We're getting turds
all across America, see?

They're now available
at Hussey's General Store.

We've got a great big display
right by the cash register.

So, I'm going to need
a whole team of people here

to take my place and stuff
to keep [bleep] running.

The production
end is something

that I'm working on right now,
you know, with Dale.

You know, maybe you can
kind of put together

another poop patrol and stuff
and get on that.

Katie and Ellese,

you guys on
the marketing section.

Tammi and Craig, you guys are
going to be pedal to the metal

coming up this year
with the clocks.

But I'm going to be going
and asking help

from the community as well.

I'm going to be offering
some jobs --

real, paying jobs.

'Cause as the business grows,

I'm gonna need more
and more and more help,

and I wouldn't be able
to do it without you.

For real, I wouldn't.
It'd just be me,

and I need all of you
to make this work.

-Dale: Yep.
[ Applause ]

Deb:
I'm really amazed with Mary.

Once I put down that ultimatum,
I kind of thought she'd quit.

You know, she's really
put her all into it.

[ Applause ]

You know, Mary, over the past
seven or eight years

that I've known you, I mean,
you made a big impact on me,

and I believe you made
a big impact on our community.

You just being my Aunt Mary,
that's a lot right there.

Nephew Dale.
That's how I think too.

I feel like you're family,
'cause I've known you

since you were just
a little [buzz!].

You are family.
So is Aunt Deb.

When Mary brought me
on last fall,

I mean, I didn't know
where we were heading.

But, man, I guess we're heading
in the right direction now.

**

You have put so much into this
and grown so fast,

and what you've
already down so far,

bringing jobs to our town,
which we really need.

Because you care so much
about Somerville,

and we care about you,
and we just want to see

this thing go wonderful
for you.

Thank you, Mary, for bringing
a little happiness into my life.

We have had
some good laughs.

I'm really, really proud of you
with this whole thing.

It's gone, like, really
far and everything.

I never thought
it would go this far.

By taking a chance,
you showed people

that it is worth taking a chance
and trying something.

You definitely
have the proof now.

It's been exciting
for the whole community.

People are talking about it
at the stores, you know,

when they meet
each other on there.

And there's a lot of buzz
going around.

[ Applause ]

**

Last night it came to me.

**

[ Animal screeches ]

Live from Somerville,
this is "Talkin' Tirds,"

the show that cuts the crap
and asks the questions

you're too afraid to ask.

I'm Mary Winchenbach,
and tonight's guest

is Richelle Stacy,

business manager
of Highbrow Dispensary,

one of the largest Maine-owned

and operated cannabis
companies in Maine.

Which term do you prefer --

the pot, Mary Jane,
weed, bud,

Devil's Lettuce, wacky tobaccy,
ganja, or grass?

Actually, I don't prefer
any of those.

Have you been smoking
the pot today?

-No. Work.
-No?

-No?
-No.

-Refer madness.
-Okay.

Is that a real condition
or fake news?

Fake news, all the way.

Serious?
Mm. Yeah.

Well, 'cause I can
remember one time

when I got a bag
of [bleep] weed,

and I had refer madness.
You had refer madness?

It was probably
from a different --

Yeah, because, you know, I was
mad because it was [bleep] weed.

[ Laughs ]

That's all the time we have on
this edition of "Talkin' Tirds."

I'm Mary Winchenbach
encouraging all of you

out there to give a crap.

**

[ Animal screeches ]

**

Well, Mary,

we've had what turned out
to be the distinct pleasure

of following you around
the last few weeks.

After going up to Pittsfield,
we've come to a decision.

In order to show you
how much faith we have in you,

and thanking you
for all you do...

[ Clears throat ]

**

...we'd like to invest in you.

[ Cheers and applause ]

[Bleep]

Mary: Wow! Really?

The moment
the investor stood up

and took that check
out of his pocket,

it was like a dream come true.

Tonight, I've got investors
that are willing

to invest $100,000
into the business.

[ Cheering continues ]

We've been investing
and investing and investing,

and it's nice to know
that somebody else

actually believes in us.

Tirdy Works 2.0.
Whoop!

[ Cheers and applause ]

As investors now, we're...

looking for more Mary.

She's full of energy.
She's full of life.

She's got a good marketing plan,
a good distribution plan,

and she's got
an up-and-coming business,

and we're glad
to be a part of it.

It's good to have investors
or people that believe in you.

It kind of gives you
that little push forward

that you need to keep going.

Oh, my God, I've never
seen anything like it.

I hope it's just the beginning
of something big at Tirdy Works.

I'm proud of Mary.
She's come a long way.

**

[ Braying ]

**

[ Chickens clucking ]

Yeah, 12 inches!

One of the things
that the investors want me to do

with that money
is to convert the garage

to a crap shack.

You know, they want
a proper production facility.

You know, something
other than my kitchen.

Thank you.

**

It's really important that
we get this crap shack completed

before we get out on the road
because, right now,

I've got chickens in the garage
that are eating my turds.

They're shitting
all over the place.

Oh, I see,
you got one slot left.

Yeah, this is
the last piece.

I'm really amazing with Mary,
and she's really been pushing.

And that's cool because
there's actually progress

going on around here.

I know you want
these doors gone, right?

Deb: Yeah, I want
these doors gone.

I think that door should get
moved over here somewhere.

Alright, that's
quite a bit to it.

There's a lot of area here.
They want shelves in, benches.

These doors have got to go.

And then, she wanted
windows on that back wall.

Yeah. I wonder how many
she wanted back there?

Maybe two back there.
It makes sense to have two.

It's going to be
so organized out here,

I'm not going to let her
do what she did in there.

Mary, oh, my God, Mary.

She's a wicked --
like, she pulls things out

for the orders and things,
and they don't go back.

And we'll put
the stove on the end.
Right.

-And all that.
-Yeah.

We got it all pretty much
planned out what they want.

And, you know,
subject to change

'cause you're dealing
with them, you know.

Okay, good.
I think we got an idea.

I'll get that stuff coming.

Another probably couple weeks,
we should be really good to go.

We'll be in here
before you know it.

I know.
Playing with [bleep].

Yeah.
[ Laughter ]

**

[ Animal screeches ]

**

By they way, I have about
a "turd" of a beer left,

so I'm going to have
to go in shortly

in about a "turd"
and get another beer for --

to keep
so I'm not parched.

I ain't had any beer.

I'm late.
It's ten minutes to 2:00,

and my beer's right there.

It's way overdue.

We were sitting
on the couch one night,

and she popped a turd
in my beer.

Well, I was off in the kitchen
at that point

and didn't see that.

So, I come back in
and I'm sitting,

and I grab my beer,
and there's a turd in it.

-She didn't tell me.
-It's no wonder I drink.

Now, I'm trying to pop them
in her beer, you know? [Laughs]

[ Laughter ]

Just relax.
Have a beer.

[Bleep] damn drunk.

Speaking of that,
I need a beer.

**

**

[ Animal screeches ]

You need to go
on tour with me.

I'll show you
a collection of turd.

**

Remember what this
[buzzer] looked like?

Mary: I know.
I mean, there were feathers,

and four wheelers, and grease,
and garbage.

There was rats running
around here.
Yeah.

It looks, like...
really, really good.

It was a garage
full of chicken poop.

It was really gross before,

but I'm really impressed
with it now.

Mary: I mean,
what a beautiful work space.

I'm so excited to be able to
finally be able to pull this off

and to have an actual
Tirdy Works HQ.

Courtney, I mean,
you did a ton of work

in designing
this room, too.

How do you think this
is gonna help our business?

We just need to really focus
on what's important

and -- and go from there

and make it more efficient.
Mary: Yep.

You're one of the most
disorganized people I know.

No, sir.
[ Laughter ]

Yes, you are.
No, I'm not,

because I just
got too much on my plate.

I'm gonna be
hitting the road.

You've better get organized
before then

to make sure
this place runs right.

This tour is really gonna prove
that we really need employees,

I think, is what
it's going to prove.

You want a kiss?
Alright.

-Whoo.
-[ Laughter ]

Hopefully, we'll have
a few employees before too long,

and we'll be putting --

putting production
into full gear.

Mary: Maybe you guys
could give me a hand,

and we could start
moving totes out

and free up some space
in the house, yes?

Katie: Mm-hmm.

Cody, can I get these put
over here, Cody?

Woman: Over there to Mary.

Set them maybe down
on this --
Great job.

Put them right over here
on the outside.

One of the promises
I made to the kids was

to be able to separate
Tirdy Works

from our family activities.

So, I think having a crap shack

is going to allow me
to better focus

and separate out the two.

That look okay?
Ohh, right there.

To think this was all
in the house.

I mean, this is amazing.

Russ: A lot of people
have dreams,

and they don't take action
on it, you know?
No.

And to see Mary just get
right out there

and going for it,

it's refreshing
to see somebody --

That's what I get from her.
Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.
It's totally refreshing.

She makes want
to get her dream started.

That's how she does it.

**

[ Insects chirping ]

We have learned so much
since fall.

Trying to tell time,

it helps if the numbers
are in order.

The ins and outs
of all kinds of things.

Well, maybe 10 grand would be
enough maybe to --

Oh, no, no.
Probably 100.

That's a -- That's --
I can't even fathom that.

Lots of fun.

Hey, Tam.
Tammi: Don't be knocking.

I got you a box
of fresh turds.

No way in hell
am I going on the road.

I'mma take this job
as seriously as I can.

Thank you, Dale.

When Mary's out on the road,

I mean, I got to keep
the turd count up.

So, I mean, I'm going to have
to stay right on top of it.

When was the last time
you had a meal

with all five of you
at the dinner table?

You know,
my family's not perfect yet.

I mean, we got a ways to go.

But I think
this is a good start.

Katie:
There's onions everywhere.

Mary: Oh, my God.
You guys are so picky.

Onions are good for you.
I hate onions.

It puts hair
on your chest.

I don't want hair
on my chest.

Guys, I mean,
we're gonna be getting busier

and busier out
in the crap shack.

And I want you to kind of work,
maybe, on the marketing

and the social media, Katie.
Yeah.

You guys are gonna have
to send me pictures, though,

of, like, you guys
in the cities...
Yep.

...so I can post it.
And we do that,
and then you can post it,

with maybe some, you know,
captions and stuff.

Katie: A lot's changed
since October.

Looking back,
I didn't really think

that Tirdy Works
would make it this far.

It's -- Yeah.
It's really big now.

We've come a long way
in a short amount of time.

But we've all been kind of
suffering here a long time

because we've had
so many turds.

But now, I mean,
we've got the crap shack

and I think
we're doing good.

Deb: The last few months
have been very enlightening.

The corners are
full of happiness,

as opposed to, like,
shadows, these days.

Cody, what are you
thankful for?

Uh, I'm thankful
for the food.

How about you, Paige?

I am thankful
for the business.

Poop turns into money,
basically.

Poop poop!

[ Both chuckle ]

How about you, Katie?
What are you thankful for?

I'm thankful for all of you guys
being here to support me

and being a part
of this family.

I feel like it's gonna be
a lot better at the house

since the turds
aren't everywhere.

I think it was last August
that we all actually,

like, sat around the table
and had dinner.

What are you thankful for,
Mama?

I'm thankful for, um...

the lack of poop
in the house tonight.

But I'm just thankful
that we're us.
Me too.

Mary:
I'm really appreciative

that you guys have put up
with me for so long,

with all the turds
all over the house.

It's been a good year,
and I think we're on a roll.

Katie: I have only left
the state of Maine,

I think, like, once.

If I don't end up
going on tour,

I think I'll miss Mary
a little bit.

I'll still call her everyday,
but I think I'll miss her.

Well, I know I'll miss her.

This is the start
of a great thing, I think.

Deb: I think it'll definitely
be a fun adventure.

I mean, I'm -- I-I'm very much
looking forward to it.

I'm looking forward to showing
the kids the real world.

So, I'm almost feeling
like a modern American family,

you know,
'cause here we are.

We don't have any turds
in the house

and we're sitting
like normal.

It'd be a very sad world
if everybody were "normal."

We'll bring it all together,
and you guys will help,

and things are only
gonna get better from here, huh?

Cody: Can I get more
mac and cheese?

Mary: Yes.
I'll get it for you.

**