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1
00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:07,035
Emma. How's it going?
I've seen you.
2
00:00:07,075 --> 00:00:10,475
She's this big-time comic,
and maybe she could help me.
3
00:00:10,511 --> 00:00:12,481
The business is
selling poop.
4
00:00:12,513 --> 00:00:14,223
Yes. Right out
of the moose's butt.
5
00:00:14,248 --> 00:00:16,478
Now, this,
instead of a Popsicle,
6
00:00:16,517 --> 00:00:17,817
that's a Poopiscle,
7
00:00:17,851 --> 00:00:19,591
otherwise known as
a high-fiber Fudgsicle.
8
00:00:19,620 --> 00:00:20,990
Tastes like crap.
9
00:00:21,021 --> 00:00:22,961
I really think
there are people in Somerville
10
00:00:22,990 --> 00:00:25,290
that would be interested in
getting in on the ground floor.
11
00:00:25,326 --> 00:00:27,256
Maybe there are people out there
that believe enough
12
00:00:27,295 --> 00:00:30,395
in the business
that they are willing to invest.
13
00:00:30,431 --> 00:00:34,341
What is your plan to distribute
outside of the state of Maine?
14
00:00:34,368 --> 00:00:36,098
I never thought of that.
15
00:00:37,971 --> 00:00:39,271
Is there any way
you would be able to
16
00:00:39,307 --> 00:00:40,807
take the [bleep] show
show on the road?
17
00:00:40,841 --> 00:00:42,411
I would love to do that.
18
00:00:42,443 --> 00:00:44,853
You know, when Emma mentioned
taking my act on the road,
19
00:00:44,878 --> 00:00:47,618
I thought,
"What a great idea."
20
00:00:47,648 --> 00:00:49,518
I've got this show
coming up in Pittsfield.
21
00:00:49,550 --> 00:00:52,390
Me and the boys, we've been
fiddling with some music.
22
00:00:53,821 --> 00:00:56,921
We're here at this audition
watching Big D and the Ticks,
23
00:00:56,957 --> 00:01:00,857
and I didn't know
really what to expect.
24
00:01:00,894 --> 00:01:03,864
Who's funding the tour?
Well...
25
00:01:03,897 --> 00:01:07,097
Investing in someone that's as
scattered as Mary is right now
26
00:01:07,135 --> 00:01:08,195
is a risk.
27
00:01:08,236 --> 00:01:14,836
**
28
00:01:16,510 --> 00:01:18,310
That's all I wear.
29
00:01:18,346 --> 00:01:21,216
I don't have any of those
tight little girl undies.
30
00:01:21,249 --> 00:01:26,219
**
31
00:01:26,254 --> 00:01:27,894
Russ: In business,
the difference between
32
00:01:27,921 --> 00:01:30,991
dreams and reality that Mary
really needs to focus on
33
00:01:31,024 --> 00:01:35,234
is the effort that it takes,
that it's hard work.
34
00:01:35,263 --> 00:01:39,073
You can dream all you want, but
until you roll up your sleeves
35
00:01:39,099 --> 00:01:43,199
and really put the time in,
your dreams won't come true.
36
00:01:43,937 --> 00:01:47,207
[ Eagle screeches ]
37
00:01:47,241 --> 00:01:53,851
**
38
00:01:53,881 --> 00:01:55,751
Well,
it's a beautiful day out, huh?
39
00:01:55,783 --> 00:01:56,923
Wicked.
40
00:01:56,950 --> 00:01:58,520
Good day
to find some turds.
41
00:01:58,552 --> 00:02:01,322
I think Dale was about 8 years
old when I first met him.
42
00:02:01,355 --> 00:02:03,155
He was just the sweetest
little boy, you know,
43
00:02:03,191 --> 00:02:05,931
and just as polite and nice
and always smiling.
44
00:02:05,959 --> 00:02:08,059
I do love Dale, you know?
45
00:02:08,095 --> 00:02:09,425
And I've just known the kid
for so long.
46
00:02:09,463 --> 00:02:12,233
He's been a good kid,
he's a hard worker,
47
00:02:12,266 --> 00:02:16,766
he tries,
and we just kind of bonded.
48
00:02:16,804 --> 00:02:19,114
Look at that.
Hey, look at that.
49
00:02:19,139 --> 00:02:21,209
That's not a big pile of dump,
but that's something.
50
00:02:21,242 --> 00:02:22,782
It's something.
Better than nothing.
51
00:02:22,810 --> 00:02:24,780
Yeah. Something else
has been kind of weighing
52
00:02:24,812 --> 00:02:26,712
on my mind a little bit too.
I'm nervous about.
53
00:02:26,747 --> 00:02:29,947
We got this big show
coming up in Pittsfield.
54
00:02:29,983 --> 00:02:32,123
Mm-hmm.
I promised the town
55
00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:34,292
that we would have
a variety show.
56
00:02:34,322 --> 00:02:36,092
And the only thing
I have is comedy.
57
00:02:36,123 --> 00:02:37,793
And I've got three
or four comics coming in,
58
00:02:37,825 --> 00:02:39,125
but that's all I've got.
59
00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:41,529
Anything from you guys?
Do you have any ideas?
60
00:02:41,562 --> 00:02:44,402
A little part of the show would
be, like, stupid pet tricks
61
00:02:44,432 --> 00:02:46,772
and people could bring up
a chicken on stage
62
00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:49,640
or the dog or the cat.
63
00:02:49,670 --> 00:02:50,970
Yeah, not only
is this a chance
64
00:02:51,004 --> 00:02:53,074
to save the theater
in Pittsfield,
65
00:02:53,106 --> 00:02:54,306
but this is a chance
66
00:02:54,342 --> 00:02:56,782
for more revenue
for Tirdy Works business.
67
00:02:56,810 --> 00:02:58,150
I'd kind of like to bring
some more stuff
68
00:02:58,178 --> 00:02:59,648
to the show,
but I'm not sure.
69
00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:02,880
I don't know what I'm gonna do
about getting another act.
70
00:03:02,916 --> 00:03:05,446
What do you think about music?
I love music.
71
00:03:05,486 --> 00:03:08,086
Well, me and the boys,
we've been getting together
72
00:03:08,121 --> 00:03:11,731
a little bit and playing
and fiddling with some music.
73
00:03:11,759 --> 00:03:13,229
You play
kind of country?
74
00:03:13,261 --> 00:03:16,931
It's like a country-ish
type of music, yeah.
75
00:03:16,964 --> 00:03:19,534
And what do you do?
I'm the lead singer.
76
00:03:20,668 --> 00:03:22,898
The name of my band
is Big D and the Ticks.
77
00:03:22,936 --> 00:03:24,936
It's just a group of guys
that we get together
78
00:03:24,972 --> 00:03:26,842
and have some fun
and make some music.
79
00:03:26,874 --> 00:03:28,844
Maybe me and Deb at some point
before the show
80
00:03:28,876 --> 00:03:30,506
could come down
and take a listen you know.
81
00:03:30,544 --> 00:03:32,854
Me and the guys, we've been
waiting for our first show,
82
00:03:32,880 --> 00:03:35,820
and this could really be
the first chance.
83
00:03:35,849 --> 00:03:37,179
Yep, this is
a great opportunity.
84
00:03:37,217 --> 00:03:39,087
The place is going to
be packed.
85
00:03:39,119 --> 00:03:42,189
Pittsfield is a big deal,
and I want to hear them first.
86
00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:44,832
I want to make sure
he's got what it takes.
87
00:03:44,858 --> 00:03:46,488
I want to hear him
and his band.
88
00:03:46,527 --> 00:03:48,657
I want to make sure
the song's appropriate too.
89
00:03:48,696 --> 00:03:55,866
**
90
00:03:55,903 --> 00:03:59,373
[ Clock ticking ]
91
00:03:59,407 --> 00:04:01,277
**
92
00:04:01,309 --> 00:04:03,139
A few weeks ago,
the Green Goddess
93
00:04:03,176 --> 00:04:04,776
introduced me to Emma Willmann.
94
00:04:04,812 --> 00:04:06,152
She's a big-time comic.
95
00:04:06,179 --> 00:04:07,549
I always used to go
back and forth
96
00:04:07,581 --> 00:04:09,281
with when I would say
I was gay on stage
97
00:04:09,317 --> 00:04:11,287
because I wouldn't want to
make anyone uncomfortable.
98
00:04:11,319 --> 00:04:13,389
But I make a point
to always do it
99
00:04:13,421 --> 00:04:15,891
because I don't want any of
you guys sitting and wondering
100
00:04:15,923 --> 00:04:17,493
if I'm an awkward-looking
straight girl,
101
00:04:17,525 --> 00:04:19,485
you know what I mean?
102
00:04:19,527 --> 00:04:22,227
Mary: There's a lot of pressure
on to change up my shtick.
103
00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:24,132
The Pittsfield show
is right around the corner,
104
00:04:24,164 --> 00:04:26,974
and I'm going to have to make up
a whole new routine before then,
105
00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:29,970
plus memorize it.
106
00:04:30,003 --> 00:04:32,873
Mary.
Oh, ouch. Sorry.
107
00:04:32,906 --> 00:04:34,506
How are you?
Good to see.
108
00:04:34,542 --> 00:04:36,712
Good seeing you too.
Long time no see.
109
00:04:36,744 --> 00:04:39,554
Yeah.
I just hit that thing.
110
00:04:39,580 --> 00:04:42,380
Mary's got this big show coming
up at the Pittsfield theater,
111
00:04:42,416 --> 00:04:45,746
and I'm here to help her
make material for that show,
112
00:04:45,786 --> 00:04:48,156
which is going to be tough
because we've got a lot to do
113
00:04:48,188 --> 00:04:49,388
in a really short
amount of time.
114
00:04:49,423 --> 00:04:51,433
And also,
to add to the pressure,
115
00:04:51,459 --> 00:04:54,259
this show is supposed to
make the theater
116
00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:55,504
not go out of business.
117
00:04:55,529 --> 00:04:57,769
So there's a lot resting
on this show.
118
00:04:57,798 --> 00:04:59,598
Don't feel self-conscious
or, like,
119
00:04:59,633 --> 00:05:01,843
not that you would,
but it's a safe space,
120
00:05:01,869 --> 00:05:05,339
as long as it doesn't
hurt kids or animals.
121
00:05:05,373 --> 00:05:06,513
First animals,
then kids.
122
00:05:06,540 --> 00:05:08,280
Oh, that's the set list
right now?
123
00:05:08,308 --> 00:05:09,578
I know
that ain't right either.
124
00:05:09,610 --> 00:05:11,910
Kids?
[Bleep] 'em.
125
00:05:11,945 --> 00:05:13,505
So where at we at
with stuff?
126
00:05:13,547 --> 00:05:15,577
I was going to gone on,
start in with my dingleberries,
127
00:05:15,616 --> 00:05:16,846
then I was going to go to
128
00:05:16,884 --> 00:05:19,854
my dingleberries
and my hairy balls.
129
00:05:19,887 --> 00:05:23,617
When was the last time you had
a conversation with no turds?
130
00:05:23,657 --> 00:05:25,187
I don't remember.
Wow.
131
00:05:25,225 --> 00:05:28,695
My assignment for you is
find three or four concepts
132
00:05:28,729 --> 00:05:29,959
that aren't poop.
133
00:05:29,997 --> 00:05:31,427
You could talk
about bubbles,
134
00:05:31,465 --> 00:05:32,895
you could talk about your
relationship with your wife,
135
00:05:32,933 --> 00:05:35,143
you can talk about sex.
136
00:05:35,168 --> 00:05:37,198
Alright, the sex
might be kind of sparse.
137
00:05:37,237 --> 00:05:38,807
Then talk about that.
138
00:05:38,839 --> 00:05:39,909
Right!
139
00:05:39,940 --> 00:05:41,640
She's really fixated on poop.
140
00:05:41,675 --> 00:05:45,475
I don't what
the underpinnings are there.
141
00:05:45,513 --> 00:05:46,813
It's --
142
00:05:46,847 --> 00:05:49,377
Even saying underpinnings
is making me think about poop.
143
00:05:49,417 --> 00:05:51,147
Maybe I should talk
about Somerville first.
144
00:05:51,184 --> 00:05:52,654
Yes.
Yes. Small town, very likable.
145
00:05:52,686 --> 00:05:56,316
And talk about what a small town
does with inbreeding.
146
00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:59,386
Right, there's got to be
other stuff beside inbreeding.
147
00:05:59,427 --> 00:06:02,727
Have you gotten to any, like,
open mics or anything?
No.
148
00:06:02,763 --> 00:06:05,673
Okay, so that's something
we should try to fix.
Open mics.
149
00:06:05,699 --> 00:06:07,329
At some point, you're going to
want to take this out of Maine.
150
00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:09,737
That would be fun
because I love people
151
00:06:09,770 --> 00:06:12,270
that haven't heard it yet.
Exactly, and I was wondering
152
00:06:12,305 --> 00:06:14,475
is there any way
you would be able to take the,
153
00:06:14,508 --> 00:06:16,778
like, the [bleep] show
on the road?
154
00:06:16,810 --> 00:06:19,350
I would love to do that.
If you had your product there
155
00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:20,849
and they're watching you
present it,
156
00:06:20,881 --> 00:06:22,921
then after the show
you can sell it.
Yeah.
157
00:06:22,950 --> 00:06:26,150
You know, when Emma mentioned
taking my act on the road,
158
00:06:26,186 --> 00:06:27,516
I thought,
"What a great idea."
159
00:06:27,555 --> 00:06:30,815
A comedy tour could solve
my distribution problem.
160
00:06:30,858 --> 00:06:32,158
But one step at a time.
161
00:06:32,192 --> 00:06:33,662
You can't rush
into this [bleep]
162
00:06:33,694 --> 00:06:35,204
And when I come back,
I'll watch you,
163
00:06:35,228 --> 00:06:37,158
and I can take notes
and then we can workshop that.
164
00:06:37,197 --> 00:06:39,197
Can I talk about
Chewbacca?
165
00:06:39,232 --> 00:06:42,702
Sure.
Talk about his balls.
166
00:06:42,736 --> 00:06:46,536
**
167
00:06:49,176 --> 00:06:57,146
**
168
00:06:57,184 --> 00:07:01,824
She's turned something really --
really kind of obscene
169
00:07:01,855 --> 00:07:04,725
into something, I think,
that's very cool,
170
00:07:04,758 --> 00:07:08,498
and I'm not alone.
171
00:07:08,529 --> 00:07:10,259
I'm not alone.
172
00:07:11,231 --> 00:07:12,731
[ Clock ticking ]
173
00:07:12,766 --> 00:07:17,166
**
174
00:07:17,204 --> 00:07:19,744
-Writing bangers in here, huh?
-We're trying.
175
00:07:19,773 --> 00:07:22,683
**
176
00:07:22,710 --> 00:07:26,010
Dale: Country music
does kind of give its own story,
177
00:07:26,046 --> 00:07:28,516
and I typically like the songs
178
00:07:28,549 --> 00:07:32,189
that have the same stories
as myself.
179
00:07:32,219 --> 00:07:36,259
**
180
00:07:36,289 --> 00:07:38,929
They go right along with
how my life has been
181
00:07:38,959 --> 00:07:43,029
since I was young to how --
16 years old now.
182
00:07:45,633 --> 00:07:46,873
Country music is honest,
183
00:07:46,900 --> 00:07:48,240
straightforward,
and to the point.
184
00:07:48,268 --> 00:07:50,538
I mean, it makes me feel good
about myself.
185
00:07:50,571 --> 00:07:54,941
I can actually sing country
music on top of it a little bit.
186
00:07:54,975 --> 00:07:57,335
So I work with Mary.
She's doing a big show
187
00:07:57,377 --> 00:07:59,447
to help save the theater
in Pittsfield,
188
00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:01,179
a little ways north of us,
189
00:08:01,214 --> 00:08:02,954
and it's kind of
like a variety show,
190
00:08:02,983 --> 00:08:04,253
you know what I'm saying?
191
00:08:04,284 --> 00:08:06,724
There's going to be
comedy and music.
192
00:08:06,754 --> 00:08:10,394
If I had a dream for Dale,
it would be to succeed
193
00:08:10,423 --> 00:08:13,793
in what he felt
that he wanted to do.
194
00:08:13,827 --> 00:08:15,727
He's grown up
working in the woods,
195
00:08:15,763 --> 00:08:17,303
running skitters and stuff,
196
00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:19,900
and that was one of his
biggest dreams for a long time.
197
00:08:19,933 --> 00:08:23,073
And the older he got,
the more he decided,
198
00:08:23,103 --> 00:08:26,043
you know, "Maybe that's not
what I want to do."
199
00:08:26,073 --> 00:08:29,443
I was like, "Hey, listen,
me and the guys, we're ready."
200
00:08:29,476 --> 00:08:32,276
I mean, do we have it
or is it a maybe?
201
00:08:32,312 --> 00:08:34,622
So here's the thing, we've got
to have an audition first.
202
00:08:34,648 --> 00:08:38,418
And as long as we can crush it,
the gig's ours.
203
00:08:38,451 --> 00:08:41,421
And it would be a good gig
for us to start out
204
00:08:41,454 --> 00:08:44,664
because there's going to be
200-plus people there.
205
00:08:44,692 --> 00:08:50,332
**
206
00:08:50,363 --> 00:08:56,103
**
207
00:08:56,804 --> 00:09:00,314
[ Clock ticking ]
208
00:09:00,340 --> 00:09:02,780
Mary, you're going to have
to use your headset.
209
00:09:02,810 --> 00:09:05,780
Sorry about that, but the other
one has a busted wire.
210
00:09:05,813 --> 00:09:08,623
Tonight is a practice run
for the new material I wrote
211
00:09:08,649 --> 00:09:09,779
for the Pittsfield show.
212
00:09:09,817 --> 00:09:11,987
Can you hear me?
Hello.
213
00:09:12,019 --> 00:09:14,119
-Whoo!
-Hello.
214
00:09:14,154 --> 00:09:17,294
I want to talk about
my community, my family.
215
00:09:17,324 --> 00:09:19,434
I want to talk
about my business.
216
00:09:19,459 --> 00:09:23,159
My name is Mary, and this is
actually the very first time
217
00:09:23,196 --> 00:09:26,196
I've ever done stand-up
standing in front of my table.
218
00:09:26,233 --> 00:09:28,173
I've been getting coached
by Emma Willmann.
219
00:09:28,201 --> 00:09:30,601
She's a big stand-up comic
from LA.
220
00:09:30,638 --> 00:09:32,338
She said if I'm feeling
uncomfortable
221
00:09:32,372 --> 00:09:33,672
just to bring [bleep] out
with me,
222
00:09:33,707 --> 00:09:35,837
so what I did
that makes me feel better,
223
00:09:35,876 --> 00:09:37,206
I got [bleep] in pocket.
224
00:09:37,244 --> 00:09:39,984
I was a little bit nervous,
and, you know,
225
00:09:40,013 --> 00:09:43,523
and actually broke a sweat,
and I usually never get sweaty.
226
00:09:43,550 --> 00:09:44,950
I'm from Somerville.
227
00:09:44,985 --> 00:09:47,685
I've been living there
for 20 years now.
228
00:09:47,721 --> 00:09:51,961
When I moved into town,
we had two paved roads.
229
00:09:51,992 --> 00:09:54,732
Right now, we're up to four.
230
00:09:54,762 --> 00:09:57,332
We had a parade too.
231
00:09:57,364 --> 00:09:58,534
We have a parade ever year.
232
00:09:58,565 --> 00:10:01,795
They had four cars
and a fire truck.
233
00:10:01,835 --> 00:10:02,995
Well, that ain't right.
234
00:10:03,036 --> 00:10:04,496
We have three little kids,
235
00:10:04,537 --> 00:10:06,037
they're smart,
236
00:10:06,073 --> 00:10:09,513
but when they're bad,
they get just air.
237
00:10:11,344 --> 00:10:13,814
I know that I missed
three or four things
238
00:10:13,847 --> 00:10:16,217
that I should of mentioned
that I had in my notes
239
00:10:16,249 --> 00:10:19,019
but I just --
there was just too much.
240
00:10:19,052 --> 00:10:22,192
Emma thinks I could take my act
on tour to help Tirdy Works.
241
00:10:22,222 --> 00:10:23,522
How am I supposed
to do a comedy tour
242
00:10:23,556 --> 00:10:25,726
if I can't even get
one performance right?
243
00:10:25,759 --> 00:10:30,199
I'm going to start in
with my turds a little bit.
244
00:10:30,230 --> 00:10:32,600
Okay, so this a brand-new
product right here.
245
00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:34,872
I tied a knot
and I stuck turds to it.
246
00:10:34,902 --> 00:10:36,672
It's called "I Shit You Knot."
247
00:10:36,704 --> 00:10:37,874
[ Laughter ]
248
00:10:37,905 --> 00:10:39,765
See, that ain't right.
249
00:10:39,807 --> 00:10:41,237
I just found out last week
250
00:10:41,274 --> 00:10:45,384
that there's a 187 synonyms
for the word [bleep]
251
00:10:45,412 --> 00:10:48,882
I mean, I've got all kinds
of material to work with.
252
00:10:48,916 --> 00:10:51,046
That ain't right.
253
00:10:51,084 --> 00:10:53,554
Mary's been falling back
on her turds.
254
00:10:53,586 --> 00:10:55,716
It's her safety net.
255
00:10:55,756 --> 00:10:58,556
I don't think Mary's ready to
take her show on the road yet.
256
00:10:58,591 --> 00:11:01,291
It's a distraction
she doesn't need right now.
257
00:11:01,328 --> 00:11:04,028
You guys have been great.
Thank you very much.
258
00:11:04,064 --> 00:11:07,604
And I encourage you guys please
come to the Pittsfield theater.
259
00:11:07,634 --> 00:11:10,274
[ Cheers and applause ]
260
00:11:10,303 --> 00:11:13,773
This was not my strongest night
by a long shot.
261
00:11:13,807 --> 00:11:15,537
[ Mumbles ]
262
00:11:15,575 --> 00:11:17,405
The Pittsfield show
is right around the corner
263
00:11:17,444 --> 00:11:19,754
so I'm scared about that
because I need to polish up
264
00:11:19,780 --> 00:11:22,380
certain things and I need
to put in certain punch lines
265
00:11:22,415 --> 00:11:23,745
in certain areas and stuff,
266
00:11:23,784 --> 00:11:24,924
but I didn't get
to do it tonight
267
00:11:24,952 --> 00:11:27,922
because it takes studying,
268
00:11:27,955 --> 00:11:29,255
you know,
and practicing and stuff,
269
00:11:29,289 --> 00:11:31,119
and I just hadn't
had time to do it.
270
00:11:31,158 --> 00:11:34,658
**
271
00:11:37,998 --> 00:11:40,428
**
272
00:11:42,202 --> 00:11:45,942
[ Clock ticking ]
273
00:11:45,973 --> 00:11:52,983
**
274
00:11:54,114 --> 00:11:57,754
How are you feeling?
I'm nervous.
You know, we talked.
275
00:11:57,785 --> 00:11:59,485
I've got to work
some new stuff in,
276
00:11:59,519 --> 00:12:01,219
and I just kind of keep
going through my head
277
00:12:01,254 --> 00:12:02,964
on how I'm going to do it.
278
00:12:02,990 --> 00:12:07,630
I'm working on a routine
for this big show in Pittsfield,
279
00:12:07,660 --> 00:12:09,030
and I've got
some new material
280
00:12:09,062 --> 00:12:10,602
I'm trying to incorporate
into my routine,
281
00:12:10,630 --> 00:12:12,300
so I've been talking
with Emma.
282
00:12:12,332 --> 00:12:14,272
This is the last time
Emma gets to see me perform
283
00:12:14,301 --> 00:12:15,601
live before the big show.
284
00:12:15,635 --> 00:12:18,165
I'm going to talk about
hairy balls and penises
285
00:12:18,205 --> 00:12:19,505
and everything else
for God sakes,
286
00:12:19,539 --> 00:12:20,839
and how am I
going to get everything,
287
00:12:20,874 --> 00:12:22,514
all my ducks in a row
and make it flow perfectly?
288
00:12:22,542 --> 00:12:24,882
But you picked all those things
to talk about.
289
00:12:24,912 --> 00:12:26,452
You know what I mean?
It's not like the Illuminati's
290
00:12:26,479 --> 00:12:28,149
making you talk
about hairy balls.
291
00:12:28,181 --> 00:12:31,051
Tonight I'm here to watch Mary
and take notes on her stand-up,
292
00:12:31,084 --> 00:12:32,524
see where she's at,
see how much work
293
00:12:32,552 --> 00:12:35,292
we have to do
before the big show.
294
00:12:35,322 --> 00:12:38,032
Let's give a round of applause,
Mary Winchenbach.
295
00:12:38,058 --> 00:12:42,158
[ Cheers and applause ]
296
00:12:42,195 --> 00:12:43,955
I'm hoping she's done
her homework.
297
00:12:43,997 --> 00:12:46,167
Otherwise I'm going to look
like an idiot
298
00:12:46,199 --> 00:12:48,169
because I've very publicly said
299
00:12:48,201 --> 00:12:50,241
that I think
she's really onto something
300
00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:52,040
and now
I'm going to look a moron.
301
00:12:52,072 --> 00:12:56,712
Like he said my name's Mary,
and I'm from Somerville, Maine.
302
00:12:56,743 --> 00:12:59,713
We have a population
of about 500 in Somerville,
303
00:12:59,746 --> 00:13:02,016
and the thing is, we've got
this city council and stuff
304
00:13:02,049 --> 00:13:07,859
and everyone on the council
has the last same name.
305
00:13:07,888 --> 00:13:10,388
Apparently all the cousins
are all married to each other.
306
00:13:10,423 --> 00:13:12,193
They're all cross-breeding.
307
00:13:12,225 --> 00:13:13,355
I mean, what the hell?
308
00:13:13,393 --> 00:13:16,063
Well, that ain't right.
309
00:13:16,096 --> 00:13:18,996
I'm gay.
Up until two months ago,
310
00:13:19,032 --> 00:13:20,832
I thought a man had one ball.
311
00:13:20,868 --> 00:13:23,498
One ball and a penis.
312
00:13:23,536 --> 00:13:26,036
Well, I found out
they've got two balls.
313
00:13:26,073 --> 00:13:28,943
[ Laughter ]
314
00:13:28,976 --> 00:13:30,776
Seriously, I didn't know.
315
00:13:34,081 --> 00:13:37,921
How does an old lesbian get
so infatuated with men's junk?
316
00:13:37,951 --> 00:13:40,091
But about four weeks ago,
our neighbor come over,
317
00:13:40,120 --> 00:13:42,520
and he had a tick
on his scrotum.
318
00:13:42,555 --> 00:13:45,585
And he wanted us to remove it.
319
00:13:45,625 --> 00:13:48,425
Some guys are infatuated
with boobs.
320
00:13:48,461 --> 00:13:51,061
She's infatuated with the penis.
321
00:13:51,098 --> 00:13:53,268
Thank you so much.
I appreciate it.
322
00:13:53,300 --> 00:13:57,770
[ Cheers and applause ]
323
00:13:57,804 --> 00:13:59,644
Emma: What needs to happen
in Pittsfield
324
00:13:59,672 --> 00:14:02,082
is she needs to wow
everybody to the point
325
00:14:02,109 --> 00:14:05,079
that Pittsfield knows
they can draw on local talent
326
00:14:05,112 --> 00:14:06,552
and put on an amazing show.
327
00:14:06,579 --> 00:14:08,749
She needs to show "No,
we've got homegrown talent
328
00:14:08,781 --> 00:14:11,991
that's really good,
starting with me."
329
00:14:12,019 --> 00:14:13,119
Did you have fun?
330
00:14:13,153 --> 00:14:14,423
Yeah, I did.
Okay, good.
331
00:14:14,454 --> 00:14:15,664
I did.
I was a little uncomfortable
332
00:14:15,688 --> 00:14:17,088
talking about
the Somerville stuff.
333
00:14:17,124 --> 00:14:18,634
What do you think it was
that made you uncomfortable?
334
00:14:18,658 --> 00:14:19,958
Was it because it was
new stuff or you just --
335
00:14:19,993 --> 00:14:21,493
I was just thinking
in the back of my head
336
00:14:21,528 --> 00:14:22,898
if they knew
what I was saying,
337
00:14:22,930 --> 00:14:25,900
some of the people,
they might get pissed.
338
00:14:25,933 --> 00:14:28,473
And there's a rule about
you want to punch up.
339
00:14:28,501 --> 00:14:29,741
You want to
make fun of people
340
00:14:29,769 --> 00:14:31,599
that are in a position
of privilege over you.
341
00:14:31,638 --> 00:14:36,438
If you punch down,
then that's less likable.
342
00:14:36,476 --> 00:14:38,476
If I'm rating Mary's
performance considering
343
00:14:38,511 --> 00:14:39,951
what she had to work with,
344
00:14:39,980 --> 00:14:42,350
what her assignments were,
all things considered,
345
00:14:42,382 --> 00:14:43,782
I'd give her an eight.
346
00:14:43,816 --> 00:14:45,486
If I didn't know
the whole back story
347
00:14:45,518 --> 00:14:47,518
and I just saw her doing
the Tirdy Works presentation,
348
00:14:47,554 --> 00:14:48,824
I'd give her a five.
349
00:14:48,855 --> 00:14:50,485
You've got a good foundation
to work from
350
00:14:50,523 --> 00:14:52,333
because you've got --
you know the turd stuff,
351
00:14:52,359 --> 00:14:54,459
and some of those ones
get really big laughs
352
00:14:54,494 --> 00:14:55,504
and think
what a good setup that is
353
00:14:55,528 --> 00:14:57,028
to now go sell the turds.
354
00:14:57,064 --> 00:14:59,004
After that, everyone
wants to touch the turds.
Right.
355
00:14:59,032 --> 00:15:01,432
Mary: My comedy act
definitely needs improvement.
356
00:15:01,468 --> 00:15:02,598
We'll think of
other stuff too
357
00:15:02,635 --> 00:15:04,495
that you like talking about
as much.
358
00:15:04,537 --> 00:15:07,007
Now my business,
my family, and my community
359
00:15:07,040 --> 00:15:08,310
are all on the line.
360
00:15:08,341 --> 00:15:10,111
I've got so much going on,
you know,
361
00:15:10,143 --> 00:15:12,013
and it's hard just to keep track
of everything.
362
00:15:12,045 --> 00:15:14,005
It's like who's on first
and what's on second,
363
00:15:14,047 --> 00:15:16,647
and I don't even know
who's on third.
364
00:15:16,683 --> 00:15:18,053
You want to
know a trick?
365
00:15:18,085 --> 00:15:20,985
People say "Kuh" sounds
are funnier than other sounds.
366
00:15:21,021 --> 00:15:24,691
"Kuh"?
Yeah, "kuh" is funnier
than "puh."
367
00:15:24,724 --> 00:15:26,394
You've got all kinds of noises
coming out of you.
368
00:15:26,426 --> 00:15:28,396
What the hell
does all that mean?
[ Vocalizes ] is funny.
369
00:15:28,428 --> 00:15:31,798
[ Vocalizes ] is not funny.
Is that confusing?
370
00:15:31,831 --> 00:15:38,411
**
371
00:15:39,839 --> 00:15:43,639
[ Clock ticking ]
372
00:15:43,676 --> 00:15:45,006
-Yeah.
-I don't know.
373
00:15:45,045 --> 00:15:47,045
Do you like that better
or do you like us going...
374
00:15:47,080 --> 00:15:48,550
[ Strums guitar ]
375
00:15:48,581 --> 00:15:49,821
Dale: I kind of like
the quick stop a lot better.
376
00:15:49,849 --> 00:15:51,549
Quick stop?
That could be kind of cool.
377
00:15:51,584 --> 00:15:53,824
As we're waiting to audition
for Mary and Deb,
378
00:15:53,853 --> 00:15:55,663
I mean,
I'm feeling pretty good.
379
00:15:55,688 --> 00:15:58,558
If we do get the gig,
it'll be a good chance for us
380
00:15:58,591 --> 00:16:00,861
to perform for the first time
out in public.
381
00:16:00,893 --> 00:16:02,533
Alright, are we going to run
through the whole song?
382
00:16:02,562 --> 00:16:03,902
We'll run through
the whole song, yeah.
Alright.
383
00:16:06,266 --> 00:16:09,096
I never knew
Dale was a singer.
384
00:16:09,136 --> 00:16:14,936
**
385
00:16:14,974 --> 00:16:20,584
**
386
00:16:20,613 --> 00:16:23,423
Dale: * Haven't seen her
for a long time *
387
00:16:23,450 --> 00:16:26,090
* Can't make heads or tails
388
00:16:26,119 --> 00:16:28,519
* She said we'd been through
so much *
389
00:16:28,555 --> 00:16:31,755
* Our bond could never fail
390
00:16:31,791 --> 00:16:34,431
* Now I'm cruisin' down
a back road *
391
00:16:34,461 --> 00:16:37,301
* No time to kill
392
00:16:37,330 --> 00:16:40,370
* Heading off into the night
393
00:16:40,400 --> 00:16:41,930
* Hammerin' through
those hills *
394
00:16:41,968 --> 00:16:43,598
Mary: You know, we're here
at this audition
395
00:16:43,636 --> 00:16:46,306
watching Big D and the Ticks
for the first time,
396
00:16:46,339 --> 00:16:49,239
and I didn't know
really what to expect.
397
00:16:49,276 --> 00:16:51,606
**
398
00:16:51,644 --> 00:16:54,854
[ Dramatic music plays ]
399
00:16:56,316 --> 00:16:59,946
**
400
00:17:01,921 --> 00:17:04,421
**
401
00:17:06,259 --> 00:17:09,429
**
402
00:17:09,462 --> 00:17:12,902
Wow.
Holy crap, seriously.
403
00:17:12,932 --> 00:17:16,642
Well, here's the thing,
did we get the gig?
404
00:17:16,669 --> 00:17:19,069
I don't, Deb,
what do you think?
Yeah.
405
00:17:19,106 --> 00:17:21,436
Alright, you guys got the gig,
definitely.
406
00:17:21,474 --> 00:17:23,684
Sweet. That's what
I'm talking about.
407
00:17:23,710 --> 00:17:25,410
Dale, that's amazing.
408
00:17:25,445 --> 00:17:27,775
It really is.
I think your Gram would be
409
00:17:27,814 --> 00:17:31,154
really, really, really proud
of you right now.
410
00:17:31,184 --> 00:17:32,924
You know what?
411
00:17:32,952 --> 00:17:38,692
**
412
00:17:38,725 --> 00:17:41,585
Far cry
from that little boy.
413
00:17:41,628 --> 00:17:44,928
I'm amazed that he could
do that, you know?
414
00:17:44,964 --> 00:17:46,804
And then I got to thinking
about his grandma
415
00:17:46,833 --> 00:17:49,643
and thinking that she ought
to be up here
416
00:17:49,669 --> 00:17:52,509
watching him,
you know, because she'd just --
417
00:17:52,539 --> 00:17:55,179
she'd just be so happy
to see that.
418
00:17:55,208 --> 00:17:56,538
I know, he growed up,
didn't he?
419
00:17:56,576 --> 00:18:00,476
I mean, look at you out here
playing music.
420
00:18:00,513 --> 00:18:04,283
It made Deb cry,
so, I mean, it went real good.
421
00:18:04,317 --> 00:18:06,947
[ Clock ticking ]
422
00:18:06,986 --> 00:18:11,356
**
423
00:18:11,391 --> 00:18:12,991
You guys dress so good.
424
00:18:13,025 --> 00:18:14,485
Oh, it's just for you.
425
00:18:14,527 --> 00:18:19,497
I have flannel on
tonight.
426
00:18:19,532 --> 00:18:21,372
Well, we expect you
in flannel.
427
00:18:21,401 --> 00:18:23,541
Well, I layer up,
you know in case
428
00:18:23,570 --> 00:18:26,270
I have a hot flash,
I can peel.
429
00:18:26,306 --> 00:18:28,776
I was kind of hoping
the investors
430
00:18:28,808 --> 00:18:30,778
were going to kind of show up
at the pop-up event.
431
00:18:30,810 --> 00:18:33,110
Make sure you post it
on your Facebook, okay?
432
00:18:33,146 --> 00:18:34,306
These are each $20.
433
00:18:34,347 --> 00:18:36,677
But they didn't.
#IGiveACrap.
434
00:18:36,716 --> 00:18:37,776
People love it.
435
00:18:37,817 --> 00:18:40,147
Emma's comedy tour idea
could be a way
436
00:18:40,187 --> 00:18:41,517
to get the investors on board.
437
00:18:41,554 --> 00:18:43,794
At this point,
it's worth a shot.
438
00:18:43,823 --> 00:18:47,533
The last meeting that we had,
you gave me a bunch of feedback
439
00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:50,060
on things that you thought
that I needed to do
440
00:18:50,096 --> 00:18:53,196
to kind of, you know,
make the business successful.
441
00:18:53,233 --> 00:18:54,833
I'm here with Delta tonight
because
442
00:18:54,867 --> 00:18:58,807
I want to talk to the investors
about my comedy tour idea.
443
00:18:58,838 --> 00:19:01,708
I think it's going to help get
the turds out all over the US.
444
00:19:01,741 --> 00:19:03,081
People are going
to hear about it.
445
00:19:03,109 --> 00:19:04,379
You guys might not know,
446
00:19:04,411 --> 00:19:06,751
but I actually kind of
do stand-up comedy,
447
00:19:06,779 --> 00:19:09,819
and I was introduced to a gal
from Blue Hill, Maine.
448
00:19:09,849 --> 00:19:12,649
Her name's Emma Willmann,
but she's a big-time comic.
449
00:19:12,685 --> 00:19:15,185
She asked me if maybe
I'd ever consider
450
00:19:15,222 --> 00:19:16,822
taking my turds
on the road,
451
00:19:16,856 --> 00:19:18,556
you know, and doing a comedy
tour on the road.
452
00:19:18,591 --> 00:19:21,091
And it never occurred to me
to do that,
453
00:19:21,127 --> 00:19:24,857
but I'm thinking, "Hm, maybe
that might be a good idea."
454
00:19:24,897 --> 00:19:27,327
Just the word,
"the turds across America."
455
00:19:27,367 --> 00:19:29,997
It's just...
456
00:19:30,036 --> 00:19:32,336
How does that solve
the distribution problem
457
00:19:32,372 --> 00:19:34,542
that we talked about
at Blueberry Fields?
458
00:19:34,574 --> 00:19:36,444
You know, I can do
my stand-up comedy,
459
00:19:36,476 --> 00:19:39,176
and then maybe I could have
a table set up in the lobby
460
00:19:39,212 --> 00:19:40,952
with all of my turds
right there.
461
00:19:40,980 --> 00:19:42,850
Deb could sit there
and sell the turds
462
00:19:42,882 --> 00:19:45,692
because once I do my comedy,
people get excited.
463
00:19:45,718 --> 00:19:47,518
We can have T-shirts
and dingleberries
464
00:19:47,554 --> 00:19:50,694
and fecal people and the
whole -- the whole nine yards.
465
00:19:50,723 --> 00:19:53,593
Mary has a lot of energy
and a lot of ideas,
466
00:19:53,626 --> 00:19:57,096
and you can see the wheels are
going around in head nonstop.
467
00:19:57,129 --> 00:19:58,269
All the time.
All the time.
468
00:19:58,298 --> 00:20:01,128
But that causes
some problems.
469
00:20:01,167 --> 00:20:02,597
It's going to
help Somerville
470
00:20:02,635 --> 00:20:04,465
because
her product's going to grow
471
00:20:04,504 --> 00:20:06,644
and there's going to be
jobs created,
472
00:20:06,673 --> 00:20:09,213
and they've got to keep making
them while she's out there.
473
00:20:09,242 --> 00:20:10,612
The very first thing
in business
474
00:20:10,643 --> 00:20:12,613
is if you are out
marketing something,
475
00:20:12,645 --> 00:20:15,205
you have to be able
to turn that product around.
476
00:20:15,248 --> 00:20:16,618
And as it sits right now,
477
00:20:16,649 --> 00:20:18,889
it doesn't seem like
that's possible.
478
00:20:18,918 --> 00:20:21,388
Like, for starters
with their home,
479
00:20:21,421 --> 00:20:23,761
they need to take
and convert that garage
480
00:20:23,790 --> 00:20:26,630
as soon as they can
into a production,
481
00:20:26,659 --> 00:20:29,159
manufacturing facility,
so to speak.
482
00:20:29,195 --> 00:20:32,595
Well, if you're looking for
funding for a comedy tour,
483
00:20:32,632 --> 00:20:34,232
where could we
see your comedy
484
00:20:34,267 --> 00:20:36,497
or get a feel
for what it's like?
485
00:20:36,536 --> 00:20:39,006
Well it's going to be
in Pittsfield, Maine,
486
00:20:39,038 --> 00:20:40,768
at the theater.
-Really?
487
00:20:40,807 --> 00:20:45,007
Maybe you guys could come and
watch me and see what you think.
488
00:20:45,044 --> 00:20:46,354
I say let's do it.
489
00:20:46,379 --> 00:20:47,349
Yeah, I agree.
490
00:20:47,380 --> 00:20:49,080
Alright, excellent.
491
00:20:49,115 --> 00:20:52,285
Investing in someone that's as
scattered as Mary is right now
492
00:20:52,319 --> 00:20:53,349
is a risk.
493
00:20:53,386 --> 00:20:55,286
Until she can rein that in
494
00:20:55,322 --> 00:20:57,192
and get some people
around her
495
00:20:57,223 --> 00:21:01,033
that'll keep her focused,
it's just not going to work.
38160
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