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♪ Thank you for being a friend
2
00:00:05,934 --> 00:00:08,399
♪ Traveled down the road and back again
3
00:00:09,934 --> 00:00:11,399
♪ Your heart is true
4
00:00:11,401 --> 00:00:15,265
♪ You're a pal and a confidante
5
00:00:16,934 --> 00:00:20,399
♪ And if you threw a party
6
00:00:20,401 --> 00:00:24,799
♪ Invited everyone you knew
7
00:00:24,801 --> 00:00:29,166
♪ You would see the biggest gift would be from me
8
00:00:29,168 --> 00:00:31,799
♪ And the card attached would say
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00:00:31,801 --> 00:00:37,698
♪ "Thank you for being a friend" ♪
10
00:00:51,767 --> 00:00:54,331
I taught a class today -
11
00:00:54,333 --> 00:00:56,965
the finest school
in Dade County.
12
00:00:56,967 --> 00:00:58,631
Two girls
had shaved heads
13
00:00:58,633 --> 00:01:00,698
and three boys
had green hair.
14
00:01:02,168 --> 00:01:03,766
They're expressing
themselves.
15
00:01:03,768 --> 00:01:05,431
Yeah, well, I expressed myself.
16
00:01:05,433 --> 00:01:09,298
I told them they had to leave.
They were too ugly to look at.
17
00:01:09,300 --> 00:01:11,298
Now the parents are mad.
18
00:01:11,300 --> 00:01:13,832
A father came in
in a three-piece suit
19
00:01:13,834 --> 00:01:15,331
and defended Tiffany,
20
00:01:15,333 --> 00:01:18,565
a bald girl
with a nose ring.
21
00:01:19,801 --> 00:01:22,298
What's that?
Enchiladas rancheros.
22
00:01:22,300 --> 00:01:24,398
Why don't you
just shoot me?
23
00:01:25,500 --> 00:01:27,665
Hi.
Oh, hi, Rose.
24
00:01:27,667 --> 00:01:29,298
(sighs) What a day.
25
00:01:29,300 --> 00:01:31,832
One sad person
after another.
26
00:01:31,834 --> 00:01:33,832
Rose, you work
at grief counseling.
27
00:01:33,834 --> 00:01:36,133
What do you expect,
comedians?
28
00:01:36,135 --> 00:01:38,233
Well, it would be
a change of pace.
29
00:01:38,235 --> 00:01:41,465
Oh, Dorothy, can I borrow
your mink stole?
30
00:01:41,467 --> 00:01:45,899
It's Miami in June.
Only cats are wearing fur.
31
00:01:45,901 --> 00:01:47,899
You going out?
No, no.
32
00:01:47,901 --> 00:01:52,498
She's going to sit here
where it's 112 degrees
and eat enchiladas.
33
00:01:52,500 --> 00:01:55,632
I just need some cucumbers
to put on my eyes.
34
00:01:55,634 --> 00:01:58,598
You'll have trouble
seeing, Blanche.
35
00:01:58,600 --> 00:02:01,365
It's very good.
It reduces puffiness.
36
00:02:01,367 --> 00:02:03,565
Does it work on thighs?
37
00:02:05,334 --> 00:02:08,265
I don't know, honey.
I don't need it on my thighs.
38
00:02:10,801 --> 00:02:13,765
Who's she
going out with?
Harry... again.
39
00:02:13,767 --> 00:02:16,865
Harry?
Who is this Harry?
40
00:02:16,867 --> 00:02:18,365
All Blanche said
41
00:02:18,367 --> 00:02:20,865
was he still has
his own teeth and hair.
42
00:02:20,867 --> 00:02:23,699
Oh, it is wonderful
dating in Miami.
43
00:02:23,701 --> 00:02:27,498
All the single men under 80
are cocaine smugglers.
44
00:02:29,467 --> 00:02:31,799
You know, I'd kill
to be 20 again.
45
00:02:31,801 --> 00:02:34,498
Oh, I would kill
to be 40 again.
46
00:02:34,500 --> 00:02:37,865
Oh... You know, I had
the shock of my life today.
47
00:02:37,867 --> 00:02:39,866
I was in the teachers' lounge
48
00:02:39,868 --> 00:02:42,531
talking to a group of girls
in their 20s.
49
00:02:42,533 --> 00:02:44,531
Oh, they were so pretty.
50
00:02:44,533 --> 00:02:48,698
At that age, you don't even have
to be pretty and you're pretty.
51
00:02:48,700 --> 00:02:51,099
Anyway, we were laughing
and giggling and having
a great time,
52
00:02:51,101 --> 00:02:53,099
and I completely forgot
that I was older.
53
00:02:53,101 --> 00:02:55,099
I just felt
like one of the girls,
54
00:02:55,101 --> 00:02:57,099
and we had a wonderful time.
55
00:02:57,101 --> 00:03:00,632
And then I got into my car
and caught a glimpse of myself,
56
00:03:00,634 --> 00:03:03,799
and I almost had
a heart attack.
57
00:03:03,801 --> 00:03:06,299
This old woman
was in the mirror.
58
00:03:06,301 --> 00:03:08,232
I didn't even recognize her.
59
00:03:09,900 --> 00:03:11,299
Who was it?
60
00:03:19,500 --> 00:03:21,432
It was me.
61
00:03:21,434 --> 00:03:23,565
Oh.
62
00:03:23,567 --> 00:03:26,365
Oh, Rose, I'm borrowing
your earrings.
63
00:03:26,367 --> 00:03:29,898
Lord, I'd love to get
a face-lift by 8:00.
64
00:03:29,900 --> 00:03:31,432
Blanche...
65
00:03:31,434 --> 00:03:34,032
who is Harry?
66
00:03:34,034 --> 00:03:36,398
Oh, girls,
he's just wonderful.
67
00:03:36,400 --> 00:03:38,865
He's very gallant,
he's a perfect gentleman,
68
00:03:38,867 --> 00:03:41,132
he's a great dancer,
69
00:03:41,134 --> 00:03:44,032
and he doesn't make noises
when he chews.
70
00:03:44,034 --> 00:03:47,665
Chewing - that's
way up there on my list.
71
00:03:47,667 --> 00:03:50,199
Comes right after
"intelligent."
72
00:03:50,201 --> 00:03:52,199
He doesn't talk loud
at the movies,
73
00:03:52,201 --> 00:03:54,199
doesn't take his own pulse,
74
00:03:54,201 --> 00:03:56,932
and he's still interested.
75
00:03:56,934 --> 00:03:58,165
In what?
76
00:04:01,001 --> 00:04:02,999
Rose, if you have to ask,
77
00:04:03,001 --> 00:04:06,732
it does not matter anymore.
78
00:04:06,734 --> 00:04:10,465
And he proposed.
79
00:04:11,667 --> 00:04:14,799
Blanche,
wait a minute!
80
00:04:14,801 --> 00:04:17,699
He proposed? You've only
known him a week!
81
00:04:17,701 --> 00:04:20,266
And he wants an answer
tonight.
Tonight?
82
00:04:20,268 --> 00:04:22,832
Ton... What are you
gonna tell him?
83
00:04:22,834 --> 00:04:25,732
I don't know. You know,
he's very wonderful,
84
00:04:25,734 --> 00:04:27,165
but I have only
known him for a week.
85
00:04:27,167 --> 00:04:28,532
That's right.
86
00:04:28,534 --> 00:04:30,732
But I don't want
to lose him.
87
00:04:30,734 --> 00:04:32,766
Girls, I just don't know
what I'm gonna tell him.
88
00:04:32,768 --> 00:04:35,665
I have to go put on my face.
89
00:04:37,934 --> 00:04:39,932
What if she marries him?
90
00:04:39,934 --> 00:04:42,465
What'll happen to us?
This house is hers.
91
00:04:42,467 --> 00:04:44,332
Then we'll move.
92
00:04:44,334 --> 00:04:46,999
We can't afford
to buy a house.
93
00:04:47,001 --> 00:04:50,732
What do we have
for collateral? A gay cook?
94
00:04:50,734 --> 00:04:54,431
Oh, come on, Rose.
Nobody is getting married.
95
00:04:54,433 --> 00:04:55,798
Now, let's go talk
to Blanche.
96
00:04:55,800 --> 00:04:59,531
Dorothy, we'll become
bag ladies!
97
00:05:02,334 --> 00:05:04,265
(knock on door) (Dorothy) Blanche?
98
00:05:04,267 --> 00:05:05,765
Come in.
99
00:05:05,767 --> 00:05:07,598
Blanche, Blanche,
100
00:05:07,600 --> 00:05:10,065
your friend Harry
wants an answer tonight.
101
00:05:10,067 --> 00:05:13,465
What are you
gonna tell him?
I haven't decided.
102
00:05:13,467 --> 00:05:15,832
I guess I'll know
when I hear it come
out of my mouth.
103
00:05:15,834 --> 00:05:18,832
You'll know when you hear it
come out of your mouth?
104
00:05:18,834 --> 00:05:21,632
This isn't a belch, Blanche.
This is marriage!
105
00:05:21,634 --> 00:05:23,465
Will you look at this?
106
00:05:23,467 --> 00:05:26,132
She has more colors
than Benjamin Moore Paints.
107
00:05:26,134 --> 00:05:28,132
You mustn't rush
into anything, Blanche.
108
00:05:28,134 --> 00:05:29,632
You hardly know him.
109
00:05:29,634 --> 00:05:31,532
I just wonder
what my husband George
110
00:05:31,534 --> 00:05:33,299
would think
about me and Harry.
111
00:05:33,301 --> 00:05:35,299
Well, if he was alive,
112
00:05:35,301 --> 00:05:37,298
he probably
would not like it,
113
00:05:37,300 --> 00:05:39,132
but since he's dead,
114
00:05:39,134 --> 00:05:41,398
I don't think it poses
a problem.
115
00:05:41,400 --> 00:05:43,531
I just want him to know
that I'm happy
116
00:05:43,533 --> 00:05:46,099
but that I could never be
as happy with Harry
117
00:05:46,101 --> 00:05:48,765
in the same way
as I was with him.
118
00:05:48,767 --> 00:05:52,032
He knows, Blanche,
he knows.
119
00:05:52,034 --> 00:05:54,765
Your thoughts and feelings
go right to him.
120
00:05:54,767 --> 00:05:57,099
You can communicate directly
from your heart.
121
00:05:57,101 --> 00:05:59,099
Can't you, Dorothy?
Oh, don't ask me.
122
00:05:59,101 --> 00:06:02,832
I can't get through
to New Jersey with MCI.
123
00:06:02,834 --> 00:06:04,498
(doorbell rings)
124
00:06:04,500 --> 00:06:07,532
That's him. He's early!
I haven't finished my face.
125
00:06:07,534 --> 00:06:09,532
Well, the only thing left
is to dip it in bronze.
126
00:06:09,534 --> 00:06:12,132
We'll get it.
Thanks.
127
00:06:13,701 --> 00:06:15,332
I wonder
what he looks like.
128
00:06:15,334 --> 00:06:18,199
I just hope he doesn't
have hair in his ears.
129
00:06:26,634 --> 00:06:29,465
Hi there.
Ma!
130
00:06:29,467 --> 00:06:30,966
Ma, what's the matter?
131
00:06:30,968 --> 00:06:32,966
Everyone is fine,
No one died.
132
00:06:32,968 --> 00:06:35,233
The home burned down.
133
00:06:35,235 --> 00:06:37,032
My God, are you all right?
How'd you get here?
134
00:06:37,034 --> 00:06:39,199
I hitched.
Oh, Ma!
135
00:06:39,201 --> 00:06:42,799
A cab. I took a cab.
Well, you should've called.
136
00:06:42,801 --> 00:06:44,799
I'm perfectly capable
of managing by myself.
137
00:06:44,801 --> 00:06:46,166
I don't need help.
138
00:06:46,168 --> 00:06:47,932
I'm a totally
independent person.
139
00:06:47,934 --> 00:06:49,066
I know, I know.
140
00:06:49,068 --> 00:06:51,166
I need $67 for the cab.
141
00:06:52,534 --> 00:06:55,332
$67?
142
00:06:55,334 --> 00:06:57,632
Ma, Ma, this is crazy.
143
00:06:57,634 --> 00:06:59,865
The home is 15 minutes
from here.
144
00:06:59,867 --> 00:07:01,631
My cab driver is Cuban.
145
00:07:01,633 --> 00:07:05,132
He said there was
an additional tax
for a bilingual driver.
146
00:07:05,134 --> 00:07:08,498
I'll take care of him.
147
00:07:08,500 --> 00:07:11,598
Sit down, Sophia.
You must be exhausted.
148
00:07:11,600 --> 00:07:14,932
Why? I rode in the cab -
I didn't push it.
149
00:07:14,934 --> 00:07:19,331
Oh, Sophia, honey!
How nice to see you.
150
00:07:19,333 --> 00:07:20,965
Who are you?
151
00:07:20,967 --> 00:07:22,765
It's me - Blanche.
152
00:07:22,767 --> 00:07:24,464
You look like a prostitute.
153
00:07:26,101 --> 00:07:28,598
Sophia, the things you say!
154
00:07:28,600 --> 00:07:30,832
She didn't mean that, Blanche.
155
00:07:30,834 --> 00:07:32,832
Of course I mean it.
Look at her.
156
00:07:32,834 --> 00:07:35,665
My cab driver
would fall in love.
157
00:07:35,667 --> 00:07:39,965
Can I get something to eat,
or is the fancy man
in the kitchen?
158
00:07:39,967 --> 00:07:42,232
The way she talks!
159
00:07:42,234 --> 00:07:44,232
She can't help it.
160
00:07:44,234 --> 00:07:47,531
Oh, I've known
plenty of women
who have had strokes.
161
00:07:47,533 --> 00:07:49,531
Some of them were
in very bad shape,
162
00:07:49,533 --> 00:07:51,431
but they're still ladies.
163
00:07:51,433 --> 00:07:53,899
But, Rose, this stroke destroyed
the part of her brain
164
00:07:53,901 --> 00:07:55,698
that censors what she says.
165
00:07:55,700 --> 00:07:58,132
So she just says whatever she
thinks. She can't help it.
166
00:07:58,134 --> 00:08:00,798
He's an OK petunia.
167
00:08:00,800 --> 00:08:06,333
Ma, Ma, the cab driver said
you promised him a $67 tip?
168
00:08:06,335 --> 00:08:10,333
Don't be silly.
I said a $6, $7 tip.
169
00:08:10,335 --> 00:08:11,798
Why don't these people
learn English
170
00:08:11,800 --> 00:08:13,598
if they're gonna live here?
This is Miami.
171
00:08:13,600 --> 00:08:17,431
I'd have less trouble
getting around Ecuador.
172
00:08:17,433 --> 00:08:20,732
(doorbell rings)
Oh, I'll get it.
173
00:08:20,734 --> 00:08:23,531
Harry, hi.
Ah, my pretty.
174
00:08:23,533 --> 00:08:26,798
Oh, Harry. Everybody,
this is Harry.
175
00:08:26,800 --> 00:08:28,798
Harry, this is Rose.
Rose.
176
00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:30,431
And Dorothy.
Dorothy.
177
00:08:30,433 --> 00:08:32,498
Hi, Harry.
And this is Sophia.
178
00:08:32,500 --> 00:08:35,266
Well, you must be
Blanche's sister.
179
00:08:35,268 --> 00:08:36,798
You must be blind.
180
00:08:38,367 --> 00:08:40,333
(Blanche chuckles)
181
00:08:40,335 --> 00:08:44,233
Sophia's home
just burned down.
Oh, that's terrible!
182
00:08:44,235 --> 00:08:45,732
Not to me.
183
00:08:45,734 --> 00:08:48,565
It was a retirement home,
and you know what they did?
184
00:08:48,567 --> 00:08:51,398
They set off the fire alarm,
in a retirement home.
185
00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:52,732
Who can rush?
186
00:08:52,734 --> 00:08:54,598
Half the people have walkers.
187
00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:57,099
The other half can't
get out of their chairs.
188
00:08:57,101 --> 00:08:59,498
But they got bells
going off like crazy.
189
00:08:59,500 --> 00:09:03,198
You know what that does
to hearts that only beat
a few times a week?
190
00:09:04,967 --> 00:09:07,399
It's not pretty.
191
00:09:09,934 --> 00:09:13,032
Uh, we better go.
We have reservations.
192
00:09:13,034 --> 00:09:15,265
I hope he's taking you
to a cold climate.
193
00:09:15,267 --> 00:09:17,865
Good night. Thanks, ladies.
It was a pleasure.
194
00:09:17,867 --> 00:09:20,065
(Dorothy) Nice meeting you,
Harry. Have fun!
195
00:09:20,067 --> 00:09:22,399
The man is a scuzzball.
196
00:09:38,667 --> 00:09:40,932
This is so sad.
197
00:09:40,934 --> 00:09:42,932
We were all so lonely,
198
00:09:42,934 --> 00:09:45,699
and then by a miracle
we found each other.
199
00:09:45,701 --> 00:09:49,632
Rose, we both answered an ad
to share Blanche's house
200
00:09:49,634 --> 00:09:51,832
that we found
in the supermarket.
201
00:09:51,834 --> 00:09:54,665
It was not the resurrection.
It is hardly a miracle.
202
00:09:54,667 --> 00:09:59,565
To me it was a miracle,
because we're happy.
203
00:09:59,567 --> 00:10:02,099
It's not fair, you know.
204
00:10:02,101 --> 00:10:04,499
I mean, we get married,
we have kids,
205
00:10:04,501 --> 00:10:06,965
the kids leave
and our husbands die.
206
00:10:06,967 --> 00:10:08,999
Is that some kind of a test?
207
00:10:09,001 --> 00:10:11,332
You don't work that hard,
208
00:10:11,334 --> 00:10:14,132
you don't go through
everything you go through
209
00:10:14,134 --> 00:10:15,766
to be left alone.
210
00:10:15,768 --> 00:10:20,532
We are alone, Dorothy.
We really are.
211
00:10:20,534 --> 00:10:24,266
Our families are gone
and we're alone.
212
00:10:24,268 --> 00:10:26,432
And there are
too many years left,
213
00:10:26,434 --> 00:10:28,499
and I don't know
what to do.
214
00:10:28,501 --> 00:10:29,599
Get a poodle.
215
00:10:40,101 --> 00:10:43,331
It's yes. I know it is.
She's gonna marry him.
216
00:10:43,333 --> 00:10:45,165
Oh, come on, Rose.
217
00:10:45,167 --> 00:10:48,398
She can't help it.
Blanche needs a man.
218
00:10:48,400 --> 00:10:51,231
She told me, when George died,
219
00:10:51,233 --> 00:10:53,831
she made a date
at the funeral.
220
00:10:53,833 --> 00:10:56,532
Oh, not that she
didn't love George.
221
00:10:56,534 --> 00:10:59,632
She can't be without a man.
222
00:10:59,634 --> 00:11:01,932
You know
what I'm saying?
223
00:11:07,567 --> 00:11:09,798
What am I doing up?
224
00:11:09,800 --> 00:11:12,765
I'm subbing for a teacher
who was shot by a student.
225
00:11:12,767 --> 00:11:15,732
I need all the sleep
I can get.
226
00:11:15,734 --> 00:11:18,932
I used to sleep so well.
I never even turned over.
227
00:11:18,934 --> 00:11:22,765
I'd wake up
with a perfect hairdo.
228
00:11:22,767 --> 00:11:26,265
Charlie, on the other hand,
moves all night long.
229
00:11:26,267 --> 00:11:29,765
His side of the bed looks
like a murder took place.
230
00:11:29,767 --> 00:11:31,265
Rose, Charlie is dead.
231
00:11:31,267 --> 00:11:33,832
Why tell her?
232
00:11:33,834 --> 00:11:36,199
Coco, it's 15 years!
233
00:11:36,201 --> 00:11:39,298
I know he's dead.
I'm not crazy.
234
00:11:39,300 --> 00:11:42,765
I just like to talk about him
in the present tense sometimes.
235
00:11:42,767 --> 00:11:44,132
It makes him seem closer.
236
00:11:44,134 --> 00:11:46,465
That's fine, Rose. You do that.
I don't mind at all.
237
00:11:46,467 --> 00:11:49,565
Sure, Rose. Set a place
at the table.
238
00:11:51,034 --> 00:11:52,699
Well, hi!
239
00:11:52,701 --> 00:11:54,465
What happened?
240
00:11:54,467 --> 00:11:56,165
Oh, we had the nicest time.
241
00:11:56,167 --> 00:11:57,998
We went to Joe's.
You ever been to Joe's?
242
00:11:58,000 --> 00:12:00,598
Yes, what happened?
I had the stone crabs.
243
00:12:00,600 --> 00:12:02,298
I never had stone crabs.
You ever have stone crabs?
244
00:12:02,300 --> 00:12:03,731
Yes, yes, Blanche.
Just tell us.
245
00:12:03,733 --> 00:12:06,099
Oh, I was just so relieved
they didn't have eyes.
246
00:12:06,101 --> 00:12:08,799
You know, I can't eat anything
with eyes, like lobster.
247
00:12:08,801 --> 00:12:10,731
I can't eat anything
that moves.
248
00:12:10,733 --> 00:12:13,132
Like what, Rose?
Horses?
249
00:12:16,201 --> 00:12:18,232
Like oysters.
Oysters don't move!
250
00:12:18,234 --> 00:12:22,132
Coco, they could dance!
Who cares?
251
00:12:22,134 --> 00:12:24,132
Tell us.
Oysters move!
252
00:12:24,134 --> 00:12:28,498
Very slowly. You have
to watch very closely.
253
00:12:33,834 --> 00:12:35,498
Blanche, are you
gonna marry Harry?
254
00:12:35,500 --> 00:12:37,431
Marry Harry,
marry Harry.
255
00:12:37,433 --> 00:12:40,298
A little rhyme.
Knock it off. Are you?
256
00:12:42,667 --> 00:12:44,298
Yes. Next week.
257
00:12:52,500 --> 00:12:55,331
I knew it. I knew she
was gonna marry him.
258
00:12:55,333 --> 00:12:57,865
But next week?
259
00:12:57,867 --> 00:13:01,866
At our age, long engagements
don't make sense.
260
00:13:01,868 --> 00:13:03,132
I have to go to bed.
261
00:13:03,134 --> 00:13:06,066
Where will you live?
Well, here.
262
00:13:06,068 --> 00:13:07,398
Where will we live?
263
00:13:07,400 --> 00:13:09,431
Oh, don't worry.
We'll live, we'll live.
264
00:13:09,433 --> 00:13:11,166
Oh, I hadn't
thought of that.
265
00:13:11,168 --> 00:13:13,598
It's so hard to find
a place to live.
266
00:13:13,600 --> 00:13:15,899
Well, you can just
stay right here.
267
00:13:15,901 --> 00:13:18,199
Well, that's settled.
268
00:13:18,201 --> 00:13:21,832
Oh, Rose.
How could we stay here
with Blanche and Harry?
269
00:13:21,834 --> 00:13:23,333
Well, she just said!
270
00:13:23,335 --> 00:13:25,866
You certainly can
until you find a place.
271
00:13:25,868 --> 00:13:28,665
However long that takes.
272
00:13:28,667 --> 00:13:31,132
We're going to New York
for the honeymoon.
273
00:13:31,134 --> 00:13:33,266
I just hope
I don't get murdered.
274
00:13:40,134 --> 00:13:43,899
Charlie and I waited two whole
years before we got married.
275
00:13:43,901 --> 00:13:46,866
I got married before my father
finished the sentence.
276
00:13:46,868 --> 00:13:48,199
You married your father?
277
00:13:51,901 --> 00:13:54,398
My father told Stan
that he had to marry me.
278
00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:55,899
I was pregnant.
279
00:13:55,901 --> 00:13:58,598
You had a blowgun wedding?
280
00:14:03,134 --> 00:14:05,365
If you live in the Amazon.
281
00:14:05,367 --> 00:14:08,998
In Queens, it's called shotgun.
282
00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:12,432
Well, maybe that's why
he left - because you
forced him into it.
283
00:14:12,434 --> 00:14:16,332
Rose, he left me
38 years later
284
00:14:16,334 --> 00:14:19,632
for a stewardess that he met
on a business trip to Hawaii.
285
00:14:19,634 --> 00:14:21,265
It was her first flight.
286
00:14:21,267 --> 00:14:24,265
They said, "On arrival,
give the passengers a lei."
287
00:14:24,267 --> 00:14:25,865
She got confused...
288
00:14:33,467 --> 00:14:36,565
...he got lucky,
and they now live on Maui.
289
00:14:38,567 --> 00:14:40,232
Oh, it's really wonderful.
290
00:14:40,234 --> 00:14:44,399
A 65-year-old man with gout
learning to windsurf.
291
00:14:44,401 --> 00:14:49,299
I hope he trips on his thongs
and falls into a volcano.
292
00:14:49,301 --> 00:14:51,098
Oh, it's you.
293
00:14:51,100 --> 00:14:52,665
Oh, Sophia,
did we wake you?
294
00:14:52,667 --> 00:14:54,066
I heard noise.
295
00:14:54,068 --> 00:14:56,565
I thought it was robbers,
so I hid my jewels.
296
00:14:56,567 --> 00:14:58,999
Now I can't remember where.
297
00:14:59,001 --> 00:15:01,498
Ma, you don't have
any jewels.
298
00:15:01,500 --> 00:15:04,998
Thank God, because
I can't find them.
299
00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:07,365
Tea, Sophia?
300
00:15:07,367 --> 00:15:10,931
How about a shot of gin
with a beer back?
301
00:15:10,933 --> 00:15:14,498
That was dumb of me
to have tea this late.
302
00:15:14,500 --> 00:15:16,998
Now I'll go to sleep
and have to get up to go.
303
00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:18,498
And wake me up.
304
00:15:18,500 --> 00:15:20,498
If you didn't drink
before bedtime,
305
00:15:20,500 --> 00:15:23,065
you wouldn't have to wake up
in the middle of the night.
306
00:15:23,067 --> 00:15:24,898
I don't drink
before bedtime.
307
00:15:24,900 --> 00:15:28,231
I stop all liquids at noon
and I still wake up.
308
00:15:28,233 --> 00:15:30,231
I never have
that problem, never.
309
00:15:30,233 --> 00:15:31,731
I sleep like a log.
310
00:15:31,733 --> 00:15:34,231
I never get up
in the middle of the night
311
00:15:34,233 --> 00:15:35,731
to go to the bathroom.
312
00:15:35,733 --> 00:15:38,398
I go in the morning,
every morning like clockwork.
313
00:15:38,400 --> 00:15:40,331
At 7am, I pee.
314
00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:45,598
Unfortunately, I don't
wake up till eight.
315
00:16:01,967 --> 00:16:04,231
Where's Blanche?
In the bathroom.
316
00:16:04,233 --> 00:16:06,965
I've gotta talk to you.
317
00:16:06,967 --> 00:16:08,598
What is it?
318
00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:11,631
I know this sounds crazy,
but I'm suspicious.
319
00:16:11,633 --> 00:16:12,899
Of what?
Harry.
320
00:16:12,901 --> 00:16:15,066
Harry?
And I don't know why.
321
00:16:15,068 --> 00:16:17,132
There's just something
about it I don't like,
322
00:16:17,134 --> 00:16:19,264
and I have to tell Blanche.
323
00:16:19,266 --> 00:16:21,665
Tell Blanche what?
That she can't marry him.
324
00:16:21,667 --> 00:16:24,799
The wedding is in 12 minutes!
You can't tell her that.
325
00:16:24,801 --> 00:16:26,699
I owe it to her.
I'm her friend.
326
00:16:26,701 --> 00:16:28,699
But there's nothing
to tell her.
327
00:16:28,701 --> 00:16:31,166
This is just
some crazy hunch.
328
00:16:31,168 --> 00:16:33,198
My hunches are never wrong.
329
00:16:33,200 --> 00:16:35,198
Mrs. Gandhi
would be alive today
330
00:16:35,200 --> 00:16:37,398
if she had taken my call.
331
00:16:40,667 --> 00:16:42,765
I'm gonna tell her.
You are not.
332
00:16:42,767 --> 00:16:45,498
I will not let you.
I can't stop crying.
333
00:16:45,500 --> 00:16:47,699
I'm so happy
and so sad.
334
00:16:47,701 --> 00:16:49,966
Kind of a happy sad.
335
00:16:49,968 --> 00:16:53,531
Speaking of sad,
Blanche...
Shut up, Rose.
336
00:16:53,533 --> 00:16:55,732
She's crying already.
What's the difference?
337
00:16:55,734 --> 00:16:57,699
Rose, pick that up.
338
00:17:03,267 --> 00:17:07,298
I just can't believe it.
I'm getting married!
339
00:17:07,300 --> 00:17:10,398
What do you think
about that?
I think it's a mistake.
340
00:17:10,400 --> 00:17:12,731
To wear all that makeup.
341
00:17:13,867 --> 00:17:15,498
I know it's fast,
342
00:17:15,500 --> 00:17:18,365
but I just don't know when
I'll find another like him.
343
00:17:18,367 --> 00:17:20,665
He just...
Oh, girls, girls,
344
00:17:20,667 --> 00:17:23,798
he makes me feel so good,
so young, so happy.
345
00:17:23,800 --> 00:17:27,498
Aw. Rose, did you
hear that? So happy.
346
00:17:30,700 --> 00:17:34,431
Now I have to go
to the bathroom again.
347
00:17:34,433 --> 00:17:36,865
You know, when I get nervous,
I have to go all the time.
348
00:17:36,867 --> 00:17:38,965
That's why I'm getting
married here at the house.
349
00:17:38,967 --> 00:17:41,298
Public bathrooms
are so difficult for me.
350
00:17:41,300 --> 00:17:43,298
I wash my hands
so thoroughly,
351
00:17:43,300 --> 00:17:45,298
and then I find it so hard
to get out again
352
00:17:45,300 --> 00:17:46,865
without touching
the doorknob.
353
00:17:46,867 --> 00:17:50,032
Don't--!
Be too long!
354
00:17:51,900 --> 00:17:54,065
Rose, that is
a happy woman in there.
355
00:17:54,067 --> 00:17:57,365
Now, I want you to promise
that you will not say anything.
356
00:17:57,367 --> 00:17:59,431
Do you promise?
357
00:17:59,433 --> 00:18:00,865
Do you promise?
358
00:18:03,400 --> 00:18:05,165
Are you sure?
359
00:18:05,167 --> 00:18:07,965
Well, what's got
me so sad...
360
00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:11,732
Ohh...
361
00:18:12,867 --> 00:18:14,532
Oh, I just...
362
00:18:16,900 --> 00:18:19,898
I just never, never had
two better friends.
363
00:18:19,900 --> 00:18:22,898
I just can't stand
the thought of leaving you.
364
00:18:27,167 --> 00:18:29,332
Oh, Blanche,
you look gorgeous.
365
00:18:29,334 --> 00:18:31,798
Shut up, Rose.
366
00:18:31,800 --> 00:18:33,865
Are you ready?
Yes, I guess.
367
00:18:33,867 --> 00:18:35,865
Stop!
368
00:18:35,867 --> 00:18:37,465
(thud)
369
00:18:41,101 --> 00:18:43,599
The minister's here.
Oh, I need perfume.
370
00:18:43,601 --> 00:18:46,032
Oh, perfume, perfume.
Come on, let's go.
371
00:18:48,834 --> 00:18:50,265
(knocking)
372
00:18:56,134 --> 00:18:58,632
(chuckles)
He's a half-hour late.
373
00:18:58,634 --> 00:19:00,298
He probably got caught
in traffic.
374
00:19:00,300 --> 00:19:02,298
Ladies, I'm on a tight schedule.
375
00:19:02,300 --> 00:19:05,999
This is Miami.
I've got funerals backed up.
376
00:19:06,001 --> 00:19:08,832
Give us
a few minutes, please.
377
00:19:08,834 --> 00:19:11,865
Five minutes more, then I've
got to bury Mr. Pinkus.
378
00:19:11,867 --> 00:19:13,932
(doorbell rings)
You see?
379
00:19:13,934 --> 00:19:16,832
Is there
a Blanche Hollingsworth here?
380
00:19:16,834 --> 00:19:18,631
My God, he's been killed.
381
00:19:18,633 --> 00:19:20,166
Arrested.
What?
382
00:19:20,168 --> 00:19:22,899
He gave me this to give to you.
He's a bigamist, ma'am.
383
00:19:22,901 --> 00:19:26,132
He's wanted in four states.
He's got six wives.
384
00:19:26,134 --> 00:19:28,899
You got yourself mixed up
with a real hustler.
385
00:19:28,901 --> 00:19:31,399
I'm sorry.
386
00:19:31,401 --> 00:19:35,866
Well, you won't be
needing me today.
387
00:19:38,768 --> 00:19:41,432
Blanche, do you want
to read the note?
388
00:19:43,501 --> 00:19:46,032
Do you want me
to read it to you?
389
00:19:51,634 --> 00:19:55,132
"Dear Blanche,
I guess you know by now.
390
00:19:55,134 --> 00:19:57,332
"I'm really sorry.
391
00:19:57,334 --> 00:20:01,499
"The thing is,
I really liked you.
392
00:20:01,501 --> 00:20:04,565
"This time was different.
You're a special lady.
393
00:20:04,567 --> 00:20:07,565
"Maybe someday
you'll write to me.
394
00:20:07,567 --> 00:20:09,065
Harry."
395
00:20:09,067 --> 00:20:11,465
Oh, God.
396
00:20:13,768 --> 00:20:16,399
I'm stunned.
I'm just stunned.
397
00:20:16,401 --> 00:20:18,266
I know.
398
00:20:18,268 --> 00:20:21,299
Oh, I feel like
such an old fool.
399
00:20:22,868 --> 00:20:26,565
Not just a fool,
but an old fool.
400
00:20:26,567 --> 00:20:29,099
My God,
I just wanna die.
401
00:20:29,101 --> 00:20:31,766
You're not a fool,
Blanche.
402
00:20:31,768 --> 00:20:34,766
You're a beautiful,
loving, trusting woman.
403
00:20:34,768 --> 00:20:36,766
There's no fool here,
Blanche.
404
00:20:36,768 --> 00:20:39,766
I guess maybe I'm hoping
the shock will be too much
for my heart
405
00:20:39,768 --> 00:20:41,766
and I'll just drop dead
right here,
406
00:20:41,768 --> 00:20:45,766
and the minister can bury me
with Mr. Pinkus.
407
00:20:45,768 --> 00:20:48,799
I won't have to look anyone
in the eye ever again.
408
00:20:48,801 --> 00:20:51,732
Except maybe Mr. Pinkus.
409
00:21:02,934 --> 00:21:04,932
If I meet our paperboy,
410
00:21:04,934 --> 00:21:08,032
he will not live
to be a paper man.
411
00:21:08,034 --> 00:21:10,032
Florida is having
a drought.
412
00:21:10,034 --> 00:21:11,799
In the entire state,
413
00:21:11,801 --> 00:21:14,632
there is not enough water
to make a cup of tea.
414
00:21:14,634 --> 00:21:16,232
He finds a puddle.
415
00:21:23,533 --> 00:21:26,631
What are you doing?
She's sleeping.
416
00:21:28,400 --> 00:21:31,531
Just checking.
You never know.
417
00:21:31,533 --> 00:21:33,832
Tell me, how is Blanche?
418
00:21:33,834 --> 00:21:36,166
She didn't go to work
again today.
419
00:21:36,168 --> 00:21:38,999
It's been three weeks,
and she just sits in her room.
420
00:21:39,001 --> 00:21:41,398
The museum's
gonna fire her.
421
00:21:41,400 --> 00:21:42,799
Well, we've tried everything...
422
00:21:42,801 --> 00:21:44,766
golf, the movies,
theater tickets.
423
00:21:44,768 --> 00:21:47,298
She wouldn't even budge
for Julio Iglesias.
424
00:21:47,300 --> 00:21:49,531
I know grief. It takes time.
425
00:21:49,533 --> 00:21:50,732
Please, Rose.
426
00:21:50,734 --> 00:21:53,233
Listen, if you're Irish,
you have a wake.
427
00:21:53,235 --> 00:21:55,298
You eat, you cry, you drink,
428
00:21:55,300 --> 00:21:57,531
you vomit, and you're done.
429
00:21:59,168 --> 00:22:01,232
If you're Jewish,
you cry, you sit,
430
00:22:01,234 --> 00:22:03,965
you eat for 7 days,
you put on 10 pounds,
431
00:22:03,967 --> 00:22:06,032
and it's over.
432
00:22:06,034 --> 00:22:09,032
We Italians scream,
dress up a donkey,
433
00:22:09,034 --> 00:22:11,532
hire a band,
and that's that.
434
00:22:11,534 --> 00:22:13,532
It's these
southern Protestants
435
00:22:13,534 --> 00:22:16,232
who make it a way of life.
436
00:22:17,634 --> 00:22:20,431
When I go,
put me in a steel sack
437
00:22:20,433 --> 00:22:23,431
and leave me on the curb
next to the cans.
438
00:22:23,433 --> 00:22:27,631
We thought
you were asleep.
You never know.
439
00:22:32,601 --> 00:22:35,065
You girls shouldn't sit
out here in the sun.
440
00:22:35,067 --> 00:22:38,532
Blanche, we've been
so worried about you.
I know.
441
00:22:38,534 --> 00:22:41,532
Oh, I'm so glad
you're up.
I'm sorry if I worried you.
442
00:22:41,534 --> 00:22:43,898
Aw, sweetheart,
how are you?
443
00:22:43,900 --> 00:22:45,665
I'm OK. I really am.
444
00:22:45,667 --> 00:22:47,665
No. At first I wanted
to give up,
445
00:22:47,667 --> 00:22:49,399
to die, truly.
446
00:22:49,401 --> 00:22:52,065
Only time I ever felt worse
was when George died,
447
00:22:52,067 --> 00:22:55,065
but then I had the kids with me,
and I pulled through it.
448
00:22:55,067 --> 00:22:57,165
This time, I thought,
"Well, this is my last chance.
449
00:22:57,167 --> 00:22:59,165
This is my last hope
for happiness."
450
00:22:59,167 --> 00:23:01,299
I just thought
I'd never feel good again.
451
00:23:01,301 --> 00:23:05,166
How long is this story?
I'm 80. I have to plan.
452
00:23:07,500 --> 00:23:09,366
Then this morning I woke up
and I was in the shower,
453
00:23:09,368 --> 00:23:11,932
shampooing my hair,
and I heard humming.
454
00:23:11,934 --> 00:23:14,099
Well, I thought there was
someone in there with me.
455
00:23:14,101 --> 00:23:16,099
No, it was me. I was humming.
456
00:23:16,101 --> 00:23:18,433
And humming means
I'm feeling good.
457
00:23:18,435 --> 00:23:23,032
And then I realized I was
feeling good because of you.
458
00:23:23,034 --> 00:23:25,866
You made the difference.
459
00:23:25,868 --> 00:23:27,598
You're my family,
460
00:23:27,600 --> 00:23:30,431
and you make me happy
to be alive.
461
00:23:32,667 --> 00:23:35,233
Let's all drive
to Coconut Grove for lunch.
462
00:23:35,235 --> 00:23:36,398
OK.
463
00:23:36,400 --> 00:23:38,498
My treat.
We have to celebrate.
464
00:23:38,500 --> 00:23:41,331
What, that she came
out of her room?
465
00:23:41,333 --> 00:23:42,999
That we're together.
466
00:23:43,001 --> 00:23:44,999
And that no matter
what happens,
467
00:23:45,001 --> 00:23:46,832
even if we all
get married,
468
00:23:46,834 --> 00:23:48,565
we'll stick together.
469
00:23:48,567 --> 00:23:51,133
Then we'll need
a much bigger house.
470
00:23:51,135 --> 00:23:53,866
Sure, Rose. After lunch,
you can pick up the lumber.
471
00:23:53,868 --> 00:23:55,565
Ma, you want
to join us?
472
00:23:55,567 --> 00:23:58,799
Nope. I gotta rest.
I got a date tonight.
473
00:23:58,801 --> 00:24:00,133
Ah? With whom?
474
00:24:00,135 --> 00:24:04,465
The fancy man and I
are going to the dog track.
475
00:24:04,467 --> 00:24:06,432
Your mother bets?
No, she rides.
476
00:24:06,434 --> 00:24:09,132
She's a dog jockey.
Let's go.
477
00:24:09,134 --> 00:24:10,599
Ohh...
46209
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