Original subtitles

TODAY'S SHOW IS ALL ABOUT FAMILY.

SO GO GET YOUR FAMILY AND WATCH IT TOGETHER.

I'LL WAIT.

OK, I CAN'T WAIT. JUST TELL THEM ABOUT IT LATER. THEME MUSIC.

♪ HE'S ON HIS WAY TO THE THRONE ♪

♪ HE'S ON HIS WAY TO SUCCESS ♪

♪ BUT HE HAS TO GO TO SCHOOL ♪

♪ HE'S GOT TO ACE THAT TEST ♪

♪ HE'S AN EMPEROR-TO-BE ♪

♪ AND HE'S TOTALLY ♪

YOU KNOW, IT'S ALL ABOUT ME. ♪ AHH ♪

EXACTLY!

LET'S GO!

♪ HE'S GOING TO KUZCO ACADEMY ♪

♪ KUZCO ACADEMY ♪

♪ HE'S GOT TO LEARN ♪

♪ HIS ABCs ♪

♪ DON'T TRY TO STOP HIM ♪

♪ TO TOP HIM ♪ TO DESTROY HIM,

RIGHT? UHH...

K-U-Z-C-O!

KUZCO! KUZCO! GO, GO!

♪ HE'S GOT THE COOL ♪

♪ HE'S GOT THE CHARM AND THE LOOKS ♪

♪ AND A HOTTIE THAT CAN HELP HIM ♪

♪ READ THAT THING CALLED BOOK ♪

♪ LET'S GO ♪

♪ HE'S GOING TO KUZCO ACADEMY ♪

♪ COME ON, KUZCO ♪

♪ GOT TO FULFILL HIS DESTINY ♪

♪ HIS FRIENDS ARE LOYAL, IT'S ROYAL ♪

♪ THEY'LL HELP AGAINST THE FOIL ♪

FRIENDS? I THOUGHT THIS WAS ALL ABOUT ME.

HEH HEH! SPELL MY NAME AGAIN!

K-U-Z-C-O!

KUZCO! KUZCO! GO, GO!

[SQUEAKING]

CAN ANYONE TELL ME WHAT THIS MEANS?

YOU'RE TRYING TO CHALK US TO DEATH?

BE AWARE OF THE GIANT TROPHY FAMILY?

THE ANNUAL CLASH OF THE FAMILIES FESTIVAL IS COMING UP.

ALL FINE GUESSES.

BUT AS USUAL, ONLY MALINA IS RIGHT.

SO PLEASE WELCOME URKON, THE VILLAGE LEADER.

CLASH OF THE FAMILIES--

A FESTIVAL OF GAMES PITTING VILLAGE FAMILY AGAINST VILLAGE FAMILY,

FATHER AGAINST FATHER, MOTHER AGAINST MOTHER. COUSINS AGAINST COUSINS.

[THINKING] MAN, THIS GUY'S LIKE A TALK-ATRON 2000.

BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.

I CAN SUM THIS UP NICE AND QUICK.

EVERY YEAR THE VILLAGE FAMILIES PLAY A BUNCH OF DUMB GAMES--

SEE, DUMB GAME-- TO WIN SOME DUMB PRIZES.

YEP. DUMB PRIZE.

AND AT THE END, THERE'S A BIG MYSTERY EVENT.

WHAT IS IT? WE DON'T KNOW. IT'S A MYSTERY.

AND AS EMPEROR, I ALWAYS HAD TO MAKE AN APPEARANCE.

PART OF THE JOB.

JUST SAY I WENT FOR THE POTATO SALAD AND STAYED FOR THE--

OK, ACTUALLY, I DIDN'T STAY.

THAT POTATO SALAD WAS DIS-GUSTING. UGH!

SO THIS YEAR I'M NOT GOING AT ALL.

OK, HE'S GOT TO BE DONE YAPPING BY NOW.

UNCLE AGAINST THIRD COUSIN TWICE REMOVED.

NIECE-IN-LAW AGAINST GRAND NEPHEW.

SO WHAT DO YOU THINK THIS YEAR'S MYSTERY EVENT'S GONNA BE?

EASY. DOWNHILL SLED RACE.

BUT THAT WAS LAST YEAR.

THAT'S WHY NO ONE EXPECTS IT BUT ME.

HMM. HOW ABOUT YOU, KUZCO?

UM, THE WHO-CARES-ATHON? HA-HA-HA-HA!

COME ON, THIS WHOLE THING SHOULD BE CALLED "CLASH OF THE LOSERS."

THAT'S TRUE. LOSERS WILL BE THERE, BUT THEY HAVE WINNERS, TOO.

LIKE MY FAMILY. THEY WIN EVERY YEAR.

KUZCO, LIVING WITH PACHA'S FAMILY

MEANS YOU GET TO COMPETE IN CLASH OF THE FAMILIES FOR THE FIRST TIME.

YEAH, THINK OF THE GOOD TIME YOU'LL HAVE. HUH?

GOOD TIME.

WE DID IT! WE WON AGAIN!

[GRUNTS] NO TOUCHY. ALSO CAN'T BREATHY.

AH, SORRY.

LOOK, THOSE ARE YOUR GOOD TIMES.

I WASN'T EVEN IN YOUR LITTLE DREAMY MONTAGE THINGY.

YEAH, BUT YOU AND PACHA'S FAMILY CAN GET YOUR OWN GOOD TIMES

IF YOU TRAIN 31 HOURS A DAY, 8 DAYS A WEEK, LIKE MY FAMILY DOES.

[BEEPING]

WHOA. I'M LATE FOR FAMILY PRACTICE.

GOT TO GO.

I CAN DO THAT.

SURE.

I'LL, UH, SEE YOU LATER.

KUZCO, WHAT'S WRONG?

YOU DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING THE WHOLE WALK HOME.

YOU USUALLY WON'T SHUT UP.

YOU'RE NOT AFRAID OF LOSING, ARE YOU?

FIRST, I'M NOT AFRAID OF ANYTHING,

EXCEPT TREE FROGS AND SCORPIONS

AND GHOSTS AND THE DARK, OOH, AND LIMA BEANS AND--

KUZCO.

SECONDLY,

WHY WOULD I BE AFRAID IF I'M NOT GOING?

WHY AREN'T YOU GOING?

THE WHOLE CLASH OF THE WHATEVERS--

THAT'S DUMB. NOT INTERESTED.

OH-OH-OH. I GET IT.

YOU'RE AFRAID PACHA'S FAMILY WON'T WANT YOU ON THEIR TEAM.

I TOLD YOU I'M NOT AFRAID OF ANYTHING,

EXCEPT TREE FROGS AND SCORPIONS--

KUZCO, PACHA AND HIS FAMILY CARE ABOUT YOU.

AND YOU KNOW, THIS YEAR

MY FAMILY WAS PLANNING ON GOING TO THE CLASH DANCE

WITH THE WINNING FAMILY.

WHOA. BACKITY UP-UP.

IF ME AND PACHA'S FAMILY WIN, YOU AND I...

BOOGEY-WOOGEY-BOOGEY?

YEAH, BUT SINCE YOU'RE NOT INTERESTED...OH, WELL.

WE'D LOVE TO HAVE YOU ON OUR TEAM.

WE WOULD? OW! OOH! I MEAN, UH, RIGHT. WE WOULD.

REALLY? THIS IS GREAT. AND YOU KNOW WHAT?

I'M GONNA MAKE THIS YOUR BEST CLASH OF THE FAMILIES EVER,

'CAUSE WE'RE GONNA BEAT KRONK'S FAMILY AND WIN.

AH, YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THAT.

OOH, YES, I DO. NOW, LET'S SEE.

FIRST THING WE NEED IS A WINNING MOTTO. HMM.

HOW ABOUT "WINNING ISN'T EVERYTHING. IT'S EVERYTHING"?

PRETTY CATCHY, HUH?

YEAH, EXCEPT WE DON'T CARE ABOUT WINNING.

WE GO FOR THE FUN AND FOR THE POTATO SALAD.

REALLY? YOU LIKE THAT STUFF?

IT'S GOOD. THEY PUT CAULIFLOWER IN IT.

THEY DO? YEAH.

NO WONDER I DON'T LIKE IT. I HATE CAULIFLOWER.

WHO PUTS CAULIFLOWER IN POTATO SALAD?

ANYWAY, THIS YEAR'S GONNA BE EXTRA FUN

BECAUSE AS TEAM CAPTAIN, I'M GONNA MAKE SURE WE WIN.

UH, ACTUALLY, I'M TEAM CAPTAIN.

YEAH. DAD'S TEAM CAPTAIN UNTIL SOMETHING GOES WRONG,

THEN MOM'S TEAM CAPTAIN.

LOOK, IF WE WANNA WIN, YOU GOTTA MAKE CHANGES.

ALL THOSE IN FAVOR OF ME BEING CAPTAIN, SAY "KUZCO."

All: PACHA!

HUH.

WELL, GOOD THING MY VOTE COUNTS FOR MORE SINCE I'M TEAM CAPTAIN.

NOW, GET TO BED. TRAINING STARTS EARLY.

IT'S TIME TO SWEAT ALONG WITH KUZCO'S DOODLES.

THAT'S THE PART OF THE SHOW

WHERE I TURN PACHA'S FAMILY INTO TEAM KUZCO.

THIS IS THE SUN. HAPPY SUN.

BUT WE HAD TO GET AN EARLY START.

SO WE GOT UP WHEN THE MOON WAS STILL OUT. NEAT, HUH?

FIRST I HAD EVERYBODY CARRY ME UP, UP, UP THE STEEPEST MOUNTAIN.

THEN DOWN, DOWN, DOWN. THEN UP, UP, UP, THEN DOWN, DOWN, DOWN.

UP, DOWN. UP, DOWN. UP, DOWN, UP, DOWN. UP, DOWN, UP, DOWN.

HA-HA! AH.

NEXT WE DID LLAMA LIFTS.

AND 1 AND 2 AND 1 AND 2,

AND LOOK HOW STRONG I'M MAKING YOU.

FINALLY, WE JUMPED ROPE.

THAT WENT REALLY WELL, SO I HAD 'EM JUMP 2 ROPES,

THEN 3 ROPES.

NOTE TO KUZCO: NO JUMPY 3 ROPES.

GOOD BURN, TEAM KUZCO.

YOU GUYS WORK SO WELL TOGETHER,

YOU'RE NOT JUST A TEAM. YOU'RE PRACTICALLY A FAMILY.

WEARE A FAMILY.

THAT'S THE SPIRIT.

OK, I'LL SEE YOU BRIGHT AND EARLYMAÑANA.

WHY ARE WE DOING THIS AGAIN?

HE'S PART OF THE FAMILY.

[ROOSTER CROWING]

[BUGLE PLAYING]

OK, OK, ENOUGH OF THE WAKE-UP SONG AND HORN MUSIC. THANKS.

I PULLED A FAVOR. DID YOU LIKE IT?

IT'S REALLY HARD TO PLAY THAT THING.

OK, WE GOT A REAL TRAIN-ATHON AHEAD OF US TODAY, SO...

I WHIPPED UP SOME KUZCO SUPER SMOOTHIES.

DOZEN EGGS, FRESH HUNK OF RAW MEAT.

MMM. IT'S LIKE DRINKING A GOLD MEADOW.

[COUGHING] IT'S A LITTLE MEATY.

YEAH, WELL, I THINK WE CAN SKIP THE MEAT SHAKES TODAY.

AND THE TRAINING.

CAN WE GO CANOEING INSTEAD?

I GET FRONT. NO, I DO.

NO, I DO.

CANOEING.

THAT'S A GOOD ONE.

ALL RIGHT, LET'S ALL DRINK OUR MEAT AND EGGS. THEN WE'LL HEAD OUT.

THOSE ALLIGATORS AREN'T GONNA WRESTLE THEMSELVES.

ALLIGATORS? NO. THAT'S IT, KUZCO.

WE'RE GOING CANOEING.

LOOK, PEOPLE, AS TEAM CAPTAIN, I CAN ONLY DO SO MUCH.

IF YOU WANNA WIN, YOU GOT TO TRAIN.

OUR LITTLE SECRET WEAPON THERE CAN'T DO IT ALL.

NO, NO, EUBIE. PUT MOMMY DOWN.

KUZCO, WE DON'T HAVE TO WIN.

WE GO TO CLASH OF THE FAMILIES TO HAVE FUN TOGETHER, AS A FAMILY.

OK, FINE.

I GUESS CANOEING IS EXERCISE IN SOME CIRCLES.

AND THERE'S A CHANCE THERE COULD BE ALLIGATORS.

AH, SCOOCH OVER.

YEAH, UH, KUZCO,

I THINK THE FAMILY CANOE'S TOO SMALL TO FIT EVERYBODY.

AND BY THAT, YOU MEAN ME.

WHAT?

NO. I GET IT.

YOU DON'T WANT ME TO BE A PART OF YOUR FAMILY,

AND THIS IS YOUR SNEAKY WAY OF SHOWING ME.

KUZCO, NO. IT'S JUST A SMALL CANOE--

YOU DON'T HAVE TO PRETEND YOUR CANOE IS TOO SMALL TO GET RID OF ME.

I CAN TAKE A HINT.

IF YOU WANT ME OUT OF THE FAMILY, THEN YOU GOT IT. BYE-BYE.

[THINKING] HUMPH. THEY DON'T THINK I BELONG IN THEIR FAMILY,

THEN IT'S THEIR LOSS.

GLAD I GOT RID OF THEM. WHO NEEDS A LOSER FAMILY?

I NEED A WINNER FAMILY SO I CAN BOOGEY-WOOGEY-BOOGEY WITH MALINA. UH-OH.

AND...7,000. WHEW!

HEY, KUZCO.

MALINA. WHAT A SURPRISE.

CAUGHT ME DOING MY WARM-UP THERE.

7,000 PUSH-UPS. WHEW!

YOU SURE YOU DIDN'T JUST DO ONE

AND SAY "AND...7000"?

ANYWAY, I HEARD EVERYTHING WORKED OUT.

I TOLD YOU PACHA'S FAMILY WANTED YOU ON THEIR TEAM.

GOOD TOUCHY. GOOD TOUCHY.

SO MAYBE I'LL SEE YOU AT THE DANCE...

IF YOU WIN.

[THINKING] MALINA, ALSO KNOWN AS HOTTIE-HOT-HOTTIE,

IS GONNA DANCE WITH THE KUZ-MASTER.

ALL I NEED IS 1, A FAMILY, AND 2, TO WIN.

SMILE, KRANK. THE JUDGES WANT PERSONALITY, TOO.

WOW. LOOK AT KRONK'S FAMILY.

IF I HAD BEEN BORN BIGGER, STRONGER, AND NOT SO BRIGHTER,

I COULD BE ONE OF THEM.

WHOO-HOO-HOO-WHOO-HOO!

[CRASHING]

OH! TOO MUCH PERSONALITY.

I WASN'T SPYING.

I WAS JUST WATCHING YOUR EVERY MOVE AND MAKING DETAILED MENTAL NOTES.

THIS IS TERRIBLE.

AAH!

AH! KRANK CAN'T COMPETE ON THIS ANKLE.

THERE'S A FAMILY TRADITION AT STAKE HERE, PEOPLE-- WINNING.

AND WE CAN'T WIN WITH ONLY 3 PEOPLE. WE NEED ONE MORE.

HOW ABOUT MR. SNAKES?

[GROWLING]

NO, NO. THAT CAT'S ALL ATTITUDE.

HOW ABOUT KUZCO?

YOU'RE, UH, NOT AS SCRAWNY AS YOU LOOK, ARE YOU?

YES. I MEAN NO. I MEAN--ME?

YEAH. WE COULD USE A SCRAPPY LITTLE FELLOW LIKE YOU. WHAT DO YOU SAY?

[THINKING] THEY WANT ME TO JOIN THEIR FAMILY,

THEIR WINNING FAMILY.

THIS IS PERFECT. I GET A FAMILY. I GET TO WIN.

AND I GET TO DANCE WITH MALINA.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH HIM?

HE'S JUST TALKING TO HIMSELF IN HIS HEAD.

HE DOES THAT SOMETIMES.

OH, NO. THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT ME.

BETTER SAY SOMETHING BEFORE I BLOW IT. TALK TO ME LATER.

YOU GOT YOURSELF A FAMILY MEMBER.

GREAT! NOW LET'S PUT SOME MEAT ON THOSE BONES.

WELCOME ABOARD, FAKE BRO.

[DOOR OPENS]

GREAT NEWS, FOR ME AT LEAST.

KRONK'S FAMILY ASKED ME TO JOIN THEIR WINNING TEAM.

I'M BUNKING WITH THEM TONIGHT. DINNER NUMBER 2'S ABOUT TO BE SERVED.

THEY EAT A LOT OF MEAT OVER THERE.

YEAH, BUT WHAT ABOUT TEAM KUZCO?

YOU GUYS ARE BETTER OFF WITHOUT ME.

BESIDES, YOU'LL HAVE WAY MORE FUN AND MORE POTATO SALAD THIS WAY.HASTA.

OH, BUT I MADE UNIFORMS FOR EVERYBODY, INCLUDING YOU.

YOU DID?

AND WE TRAINS MORE.

I DID A GAZILLION JUMPING JACKS.

YOU DID A HUNDRED. GAZILLION.

HUNDRED. GAZILLION.

HUNDRED. GAZILLION.

UH, EVEN I GOT A SURPRISE FOR YOU.

YEAH, I FELT BAD THAT WE DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH ROOM FOR YOU,

SO I MADE IT BIGGER.

ANYWAY, SORRY IF I HURT YOUR FEELINGS EARLIER.

UH, ME? FEELINGS? HURT?

[CHUCKLES] NO WAY.

SO GOOD LUCK TOMORROW.

KRONK'S FAMILY'S LUCKY TO HAVE YOU.

UM, YEAH. YOU, TOO.

I MEAN, YOU KNOW... WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

OK, I GOT TO GO.

[SNORING]

[RUMBLING]

Urkon: WELCOME, MY FRIENDS, TO CLASH OF THE FAMILIES,

A GLORIOUS CELEBRATION OF--

[TRUMPET BLARING]

[TRUMPET STOPS] AS I WAS SAYING,

A GLORIOUS--

[TRUMPET BLARES] NOT YET.

[TRUMPET STOPS]

REMEMBER WHAT WE PRACTICED?

[TRUMPET BLARES]

FORGET IT.

All: 1, 2, 3, WIN!

1, 2, 3, WIN!

1, 2, 3, WIN!

1, 2, 3, WIN! 1, 2, 3, WIN!

Chicha: IS THIS GREAT OR WHAT? HUH?

THIS IS WHAT I CALL A FAMILY.

HEY, IS THAT POTATO SALAD?

KUZCO, WHERE'S YOUR FOCUS?

YOUR FOCUS FOR WINNING. THE WINNING FOCUS.

YEAH. WINNING FOCUS.

Malina: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

OH, HEY, MALINA.

LOOK. I SWITCHED FAMILIES. ISN'T THAT GREAT?

HUH. GREAT?

ISN'T IT GREAT THAT YOU ABANDONED PACHA'S FAMILY?

A FAMILY THAT CARES ABOUT YOU AND TOOK YOU IN WHEN YOU HAD NOWHERE ELSE TO GO.

UH, HOW COME YOU ALWAYS TURN THINGS AROUND LIKE THAT?

PLEASE TELL ME YOU DIDN'T DO THIS JUST TO WIN.

HA-HA!

OH! MM. NO, NO, NO. OF COURSE NOT.

NOT AT ALL. JUST TO WIN? COME ON.

BUT THE "I WIN, YOU DANCE WITH ME" DEAL IS STILL A GO, RIGHT?

MOVE IT ALONG, LITTLE LADY.

YOU'RE TAKING MY BOYS OUT OF A ZONE.

I GOT TO SAY, KUZCO, THIS IS A NEW LOW FOR YOU.

OH, YEAH? WELL, IS IT LOWER THAN THE TIME

I MADE EVERYBODY KNEEL SO I CAN BE THE KINGDOM'S TALLEST MAN?

LOWER.

WHAT ABOUT WHEN I PASSED

THE "EVERYBODY WEAR FUNNY HATS FOR MY OWN PERSONAL AMUSEMENT" LAW?

KEEP DIGGING.

HOW ABOUT THE TIME

I DRESSED MONKEYS IN TUXEDOS?

TRUST ME. THIS IS LOW.

YEAH, BUT PACHA'S FAMILY DIDN'T WANT ME.

PLUS, THEY'RE NOT MY REAL FAMILY.

SO? THEY TREAT YOU LIKE FAMILY, DON'T THEY?

THAT'S REAL.

THE POINT IS, FAMILY STICKS TOGETHER.

NOTHING COMES BEFORE THAT, ESPECIALLY NOT WINNING.

BUT IF I WIN, WE DANCE, RIGHT?

EH. SHE'LL GET OVER IT.

[BLARING]

LET THE CLASH OF THE FAMILIES BEGIN!

OUR FIRST EVENT, THE STILT SPRINT.

THE FIRST FAMILY MEMBER TO THE FINISH LINE WINS.

ON YOUR MARKS, GET SET...

STILT!

YOU KNOW, WIPPY,

THIS EVENT IS A REAL STICK-IN-THE-MUD.

GET IT?

[CHEERING]

HA-HA-HA-HA! OOH! THAT HURT.

WE'RE NOT SO GOOD AT THAT, ARE WE?

NAH, BUT WE LOVE YOU ANYWAY, HONEY.

OH, WHO CARES? WE'RE HAVING A GREAT TIME.

PEPIKRANKICKENITZ FAMILY WINS THE FIRST EVENT

AND A YEAR'S SUPPLY OF SWEET POTATOES.

YAY.

NEXT UP...OH, YEAH. THE CHINCHILLA CHASE.

THE FIRST FAMILY TO CATCH THEIR CHINCHILLA WINS.

ON YOUR MARKS, GET SET, CHASE.

CHINCHILLA!

GO! GO! CATCH HIM!

I GOT IT. OOH! I'VE GOT IT.

OOH! LOOKS LIKE PACHA REALLY TOOK IT ON THE CHINCHILLA.

I MADE THAT UP.

UH-OH.

I NABBED HIM! I NABBED HIM!

[MUMBLING]

WHERE IS HE? HEY, YOU GUYS, WHERE IS HE?

ON YOUR HEAD, DAD. YOU KNOW THAT.

AGAIN, PEPIKRANKICKENITZ FAMILY IS THE WINNER

AND WILL RECEIVE A YEAR'S SUPPLY OF ROPE.

WHAT'S WRONG, KUZCO? YOU'RE NOT IN A ZONE.

IS IT THE ROPE?

'CAUSE DON'T WORRY.

THERE'S PLENTY TO GO AROUND.

GREAT.

THE NEXT EVENT, THE CHILI PEPPER EATING CONTEST.

THE FAMILY THAT EATS THE MOST CHILI PEPPERS WINS.

ON YOUR MARKS, GET SET...

BURN!

THE COMPETITION IS REALLY STARTING TO HEAT UP, FOLKS.

OK. THAT'S IT. ENOUGH WITH THE PUNS.

[BOTH GASP]

AGAIN, PEPIKRANKICKENITZ FAMILY IS THE WINNER

AND WILL RECEIVE

A YEAR'S SUPPLY OF FERTILIZER.

WELL, LOOKS LIKE YOUR TEAM'S WINNING, HUH?

ARE YOU HAVING FUN?

OH, YEAH. FUN.

YOU?

OH, SURE. LOTS...

OF FUN.

[SOBBING] I DON'T CARE ABOUT WINNING.

I WANNA BE A LOSER LIKE YOU. OH, LOSER FACE.

PLEASE TAKE ME BACK. I'LL DO ANYTHING. PLEASE.

OF COURSE WE'LL TAKE YOU BACK.

TO BE HONEST, WE REALLY MISSED YOU.

I MEAN, CHICHA AND THE KIDS MISSED YOU.

I ONLY DID A LITTLE.

BUT WHAT ABOUT KRONK'S FAMILY? DON'T THEY NEED YOU?

NOT IF I FIND THEM A SUBSTITUTE.

IF YOU ASK ME, IT'S AN UPGRADE.

THIS YEAR'S GRAND PRIZE MYSTERY EVENT IS...

THE CANOE GRAND PRIX.

CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?

THE GRAND PRIZE EVENT IS CANOEING.

HOW LUCKY IS THAT?

YOU GUYS CANOE ALL THE TIME. YOU'RE LIKE CANOE WARRIORS.

I THINK WE ACTUALLY HAVE A CHANCE TO WIN.

IT'S A CANOE RACE.

ALL RIGHT. WE GET IT.

GO TEAM KUZCO.

NO. GO TEAM PACHA.

HEY, MALINA, LOOK. I SWITCHED BACK. THAT'S GOOD, RIGHT?

YEAH, BUT WE'RE STILL GONNA PADDLE CIRCLES AROUND YOU.

BRING IT ON. THESE GUYS' LAST NAME IS "CANOE."

SAY, IS "CANOE" YOUR LAST NAME?

GOOD LUCK, FORMER BRO.

CAN'T TALK NOW. IN A ZONE.

THE FIR--THE FIRST CANOE ACROSS THE LAKE WINS.

READY, SET...CANOE!

TOLD YA WE'RE GONNA BEAT YOU.

IS THAT ALL YOU THINK ABOUT? WINNING?

AND ACTUALLY, WINNING MIGHT BE FUN FOR A CHANGE.

WHAT DO YOU SAY WE TRY OUR SECRET WEAPON?

EUBIE, MAKE MOMMY PROUD.

WHOO-HOO! THIS IS FUN! HA-HA-HA-HA!

OH, WELL. GO TEAM PACHA.

WE'RE GONNA WIN. WE'RE GONNA WIN.

WE'RE THE KING OF THE--WHOA!

KUZCO.

WHOA!

THANKS, PACHA.

PACHA?

EUBIE, STOP! MAN OVERBOARD!

[SCREECHING]

HA-HA-HA!

[GROANS]

NO STANDING IN THE CANOE.

HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THEY WERE SO TIPPY?

I'M SORRY, KUZCO.

I GUESS I MADE US LOSE THE RACE. HOPE YOU'RE NOT TOO UPSET.

AH, FORGET ABOUT IT. THERE'S ALWAYS NEXT YEAR.

THAT'S PLENTY OF TIME FOR ME TO WHIP YOU LOSERS INTO SHAPE.

I'M KIDDING. JOKEY.

YI-YI. WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?

THE MYSTERY GRAND PRIZE GOES TO PEPIKRANKICKENITZ FAMILY.

AN AUTOMATIC LLAMA SHAVER.

OOH!

OH, IT'S NOT BAD.

I WONDER IF IT WORKS ON OTHER ANIMALS OR PEOPLE.

YOU KNOW, ALL THAT LOSING REALLY WORKED UP

MY POTATO SALAD APPETITE.

CAULIFLOWER IN POTATO SALAD.

I DON'T GET IT.

HEY, YOU KNOW YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO STAND IN CANOES, RIGHT?

YEAH. NEXT TIME LET'S DO THE BOATING SAFETY TIPS

BEFORE I RUIN IT FOR EVERYBODY, OK?

SORRY. WOULD A DANCE MAKE UP FOR IT?

BUT I DIDN'T WIN.

IT'S A PITY DANCE.

HEY, I DON'T DO PITY DANCES.

ALL RIGHT. LATER.

I MEAN, I DO DO PITY DANCES.

I THOUGHT YOU SAID "PRETTY DANCES." THOSE I DON'T DO.

WHATEVER. COME ON.

YOUR ATTENTION, PLEASE. WE HAVE ONE FINAL AWARD.

THE BEST CLASH OF THE FAMILIES FAMILY

AS VOTED BY THE OTHER FAMILIES.

THIS FAMILY WILL KEEP THE TROPHY UNTIL NEXT YEAR.

AND THE WINNING FAMILY IS...

PACHA'S FAMILY!

KUZCO, GET UP HERE.

GO ON, WINNER.

OH, THAT'S NOT FAIR. THEY'RE LOSERS.

IT, UH, WORKS BETTER ON LLAMAS.

[MUTTERING]

STILL ANGRY, LITTLE FELLA?

IT'S HEAVIER THAN IT LOOKS.

AH!

NAMELESS GUARD NUMBER 1 IS READY FOR FUN

IN THIS RASCALLY HARLEQUIN HAT,

PERFECTLY SUITED FOR JUGGLING AND BENDING OVER BACKWARDS TO AMUSE THE EMPEROR.

NEXT. AARRGH!

YOU'LL LOOK TIP-TOP ON THE TOP DECK

JUST LIKE NAMELESS GUARD NUMBER 2,

SPORTING THIS NAUTICAL CHAPEAU.

THE EMPEROR LIKES. NEXT.

FROM MONTE CARLO TO ST. TROPEZ,

NAMELESS GUARD NUMBER 3 IS READY TO BOOGIE TILL DAWN

IN THIS STYLISH-- WAIT A MINUTE. WHO IS THIS CLOWN?