Original subtitles

HEY, THERE. BET YOU DIDN'T KNOW I WAS A FORTUNE TELLER.

WATCH. THE GREAT KUZCO PREDICTS

THERE'S ABOUT TO BE THEME MUSIC ALL ABOUT...

ME.

♪ HE'S ON HIS WAY TO THE THRONE ♪

♪ HE'S ON HIS WAY TO SUCCESS ♪

♪ BUT HE HAS TO GO TO SCHOOL ♪

♪ HE'S GOT TO ACE THAT TEST ♪

♪ HE'S AN EMPEROR-TO-BE ♪

♪ AND HE'S TOTALLY ♪

YOU KNOW, IT'S ALL ABOUT ME. ♪ AHH ♪

EXACTLY!

LET'S GO!

♪ HE'S GOING TO KUZCO ACADEMY ♪

♪ KUZCO ACADEMY ♪

♪ HE'S GOT TO LEARN ♪

♪ HIS ABCs ♪

♪ DON'T TRY TO STOP HIM ♪

♪ TO TOP HIM ♪ TO DESTROY HIM,

RIGHT? UHH...

K-U-Z-C-O!

KUZCO! KUZCO! GO, GO!

♪ HE'S GOT THE COOL ♪

♪ HE'S GOT THE CHARM AND THE LOOKS ♪

♪ AND A HOTTIE THAT CAN HELP HIM ♪

♪ READ THAT THING CALLED BOOK ♪

♪ LET'S GO ♪

♪ HE'S GOING TO KUZCO ACADEMY ♪

♪ COME ON, KUZCO ♪

♪ GOT TO FULFILL HIS DESTINY ♪

♪ HIS FRIENDS ARE LOYAL, IT'S ROYAL ♪

♪ THEY'LL HELP AGAINST THE FOIL ♪

FRIENDS? I THOUGHT THIS WAS ALL ABOUT ME.

HEH HEH! SPELL MY NAME AGAIN!

K-U-Z-C-O!

KUZCO! KUZCO! GO, GO!

WELCOME TO EXOTIC FOOD FROM FAR AWAY DAY.

FEATURING MATA'S FAMOUS SWEDISH MEATBALLS,

MATA'S FAMOUS SPANISH RICE,

MATA'S FAMOUS BOSTON BAKED BEANS,

AND MATA'S FAMOUS...

FORTUNE COOKIES?

I'LL TRY ANYTHING WITH THE WORD "FORTUNE" IN IT.

GROSS.

WHY WOULD ANYONE WANT A COOKIE WITH A CHEWY PAPER CENTER?

THAT, MR. GOURMET, IS THE FORTUNE.

SEE? "YOU ARE SMART, BEAUTIFUL

AND WILL CONQUER ALL OBSTACLES."

MM, SOUNDS LIKE YOU GOT MINE.

HEY, SOMEBODY, NEW FORTUNE COOKIE FOR THE EMPEROR.

GOT YOU COVERED THERE, BIG GUY.

HERE YOU GO.

OH, THANKS, KRONK.

"YOU WILL BE SWEPT OFF YOUR FEET

BY A HANDSOME HERO."

ALL RIGHT, CLEARLY, WE'VE GOT A QUALITY CONTROL PROBLEM HERE.

DO I LOOK LIKE A DAMSEL IN DISTRESS?

DON'T ANSWER THAT.

Kronk: WHAT GIRL?

OOF!

AHEM. KRONK, I WONDER IF I MIGHT REFRESH YOUR MEMORY

AS TO A CHAT WE'VE HAD EVERY NOW AND THEN

OVER THE YEARS REGARDING...

NO TOUCHY!

BUT I SAVED YOUR LIFE.

LOOK.

THAT WAS CLOSE. YEAH, CLOSE.

GUESS THAT MAKES ME A HANDSOME HERO

WHO SWEPT YOU OFF YOUR FEET.

HEY! IT'S ALMOST LIKE MY FORTUNE CAME TRUE.

TALK ABOUT YOUR BARELY INTERESTING COINCIDENCES.

COINCIDENCE? MAYBE.

OH, BY THE WAY, HERE ARE SOME MORE COOKIES.

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH ALL THESE?

DON'T ASK ME. ASK THE COOKIES.

UH, I GOTTA GO.

IT'S ALREADY TIME FOR KUZCO'S DOODLES.

THAT'S THE PART OF THE SHOW WHERE I TELL YOU

ALL ABOUT MY FORTUNATE FORTUNE COOKIES.

LIKE I SAID, I DIDN'T REALLY BELIEVE

THESE THINGS COULD TELL THE FUTURE,

BUT IT COULDN'T HURT TO OPEN A FEW MORE.

THE VERY NEXT FORTUNE I GOT SAID,

"UNEXPECTED RICHES WILL COME YOUR WAY."

AND THEN I FOUND A KUZ-COIN IN THE LLAMA FOUNTAIN.

MY NEXT FORTUNE SAID,

"GLORY AWAITS YOU ON THE PLAYING FIELD."

THEN, I SCORED A GOAL IN GYM...

RIGHT PAST SUPER GOALIE KRONK.

GOAL!

[BEATBOXING]

K-U-Z-C-O!

KUZCO, KUZCO, GO, GO!

[IMITATING CROWD CHEERING]

IT WAS THE LAST FORTUNE THAT REALLY GOT ME.

IT SAID, "BIG CHANGES WILL COME WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT THEM."

[TEETH CHATTERING]

THE COOKIES TALKED ABOUT WEALTH, GLORY, AND BIG CHANGES,

AND IT ALL CAME TRUE.

THESE FORTUNE COOKIES REALLY WORK.

UH, YEAH, WEIRD.

HA HA! IT'S PERFECT.

NOW THAT KUZCO IS HOOKED ON THE COOKIES,

IT'S TIME TO DELIVER THE FINAL FORTUNE!

YOU KNOW THE ONE I MEAN, KRONK.

"A SMILE IS A FROWN TURNED UPSIDE DOWN."

NOT THAT ONE!

THIS ONE!

"TURN OVER YOUR KINGDOM TO YZMA."

MMM.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "MMM"? WHAT'S WRONG?

WELL, IT'S CLEAR AND DIRECT.

I LIKE THAT, BUT, UH...

BUT WHAT?! BUT WHAT?!

WELL, IT JUST SEEMS LIKE, UH... LIKE, UH...

YOU NEED TO GIVE A REASON WHY HE SHOULD TURN OVER THE KINGDOM.

KRONK, THAT'S WHY WE'VE BEEN DOING ALL THIS!

THE COOKIES, THE FORTUNES,

YOU MAKING THE FORTUNES COME TRUE,

SO THAT KUZCO WILL OBEY WITHOUT QUESTION!

THIS WAS ALL EXPLAINED IN MY MEMO.

YOU DIDN'T LOSE MY MEMO, DID YOU, KRONK?

NO, NO!, I, UH...

I FILED IT UNDER..."M."

BY THE WAY, THE "M" DRAWER'S GETTIN' FULL.

HA HA...NOW HERE'S WHAT I WANT YOU TO DO.

DELIVER THE FINAL FORTUNE!

[THUNDER]

YOU MIND IF I MAYBE GET A BITE TO EAT FIRST?

I HAVEN'T EATEN ANYTHING TODAY BUT COOKIES.

OK, A QUICK BITE TO EAT, THEN...

DELIVER THE FINAL FORTUNE!

[THUNDER]

♪ OH...BUP BUP BUP BUP ♪

♪ BA DUP BA DUP BA DUP ♪

♪ BA BA DUP, BA DEE BA DO BA DEE ♪

♪ BAH! ♪

♪ DEE BA DEE BA DEE BA DEE BA DEE ♪

Kuzco: AND EVERY SINGLE FORTUNE CAME TRUE,

LIKE, IMMEDIATELY?

ARE YOU SURE IT'S NOT SOME KIND OF TRICK?

NO OFFENSE, BUT YOU CAN BE PRETTY GULLIBLE.

THANKS.

UH...THAT'S LIKE "LOVABLE," RIGHT?

YEAH, THAT'S WHAT IT MEANS.

IT'S ADORABLE THAT OUR EMPEROR

TAKES ORDERS FROM FORTUNE COOKIES.

NO, NO! NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!

ALL I SAID WAS THE FORTUNES WERE COMING TRUE.

KUZCO DOESN'T TAKE ORDERS FROM ANYONE, ANYTHING, OR ANY COOKIE.

[CATAPULT FIRES]

"YOU WILL GO TO BED."

WELL, GOOD NIGHT.

THAT'S NOT EVEN A FORTUNE.

HEY, LOOKIE! ANOTHER COOKIE.

"TOMORROW AT 5:00, YOU WILL TURN INTO A HAIRLESS SLOTH."

WHAT?!

NO! SAY IT ISN'T SO, COOKIE!

I DON'T WANT TO BE A...A...SLOTH-FACE!

ISN'T THERE ANYTHING I CAN DO?

HUH? OH, THERE'S MORE?

"UNLESS YOU TURN OVER YOUR KINGDOM TO... YZMA"?

Malina: YOUR FORTUNE SAID

YOU'RE GOING TO TURN INTO A SLOTH AT 5:00

UNLESS YOU TURN OVER YOUR KINGDOM TO YZMA?

HAIRLESS SLOTH!

AND YOU BELIEVED IT?

UHH, TALK ABOUT GULLIBLE.

[THINKING] YES! SHE CALLED ME GULLIBLE.

THANKS.

KUZCO? HMM?

READ THIS.

"GULLIBLE, ADJECTIVE: EASILY DECEIVED; FOOLISH."

YOU KNOW, YOU SHOULDN'T BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU READ, MALINA.

THEN DON'T BELIEVE THAT FORTUNE.

IT'S SO OBVIOUSLY A TRICK.

SEE? I KNEW YOU WERE GONNA SAY THAT

'CAUSE THEN I GOT THIS FORTUNE.

"IT'S NOT OBVIOUSLY A TRICK."

KUZCO, YZMA WROTE THIS.

LOOK.

WHAT? A LOT OF PEOPLE DOT THEIR Is

WITH A SMILING, EVIL YZMA DOT.

YOU KNOW, I'D REALLY, REALLY LOVE TO BELIEVE YOU, MALINA,

BUT..."DO NOT BELIEVE MALINA."

YEAH, I'M SORRY.

COOKIES HAVE SPOKEN.

NOW I'VE GOT A 5:00, AND I CAN'T BE LATE.

HASTA.

AAH! MALINA?

THAT'S KRONK'S LOCKER.

NO WAY!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

SHH! YOU GUYS, I'M TRYING TO HELP KUZCO.

[GASP] KUZCO ISIN KRONK'S LOCKER?

NO WAY!

KUZCO'S A LOCKER LURKER?

NO. KUZCO IS NOT IS NOT IN HERE,

BUT THE PROOF I NEED MIGHT BE.

HMM...

LLAMA SADDLE, CHEF'S HAT, BEACH BALL,

TAP SHOES?

BIRD CALLS OF THE PERUVIAN JUNGLE.

AHA!

[READING TO HERSELF]

I KNEW IT!

WHERE IS KUZCO?

THE FORTUNE TOLD HIM 5:00.

NO RESPECT FOR OTHER PEOPLE'S TIME.

HEY, YZMA.

GOT YOUR MESSAGE ABOUT DOIN' THE HANDOFF UP HERE.

DRAMATIC-- I LIKE IT.

SO, AM I, UH, TOO LATE?

GUESS NOT, SINCE I STILL HAVE HAIR,

AND I'M NOT ALL SLOTHED-OUT.

NEVER MIND THAT.

LET'S GET ON WITH IT.

I'VE GOT A FITTING FOR EMPRESS ROBES,

AND I'VE ALREADY RESCHEDULED TWICE!

RIGHT, OK.

YO, LITTLE HAT GUY, GET IN HERE!

MAKE WITH THE HANDING OVER THE KINGDOM DEALY,

AND, UH, HURRY, CHOP CHOP, WE'RE ON DEADLINE.

BUT--BUT, SIRE, ARE YOU SURE THAT YOU WOULD--

WHAT? ARE YOU QUESTIONING MY DECISION?

I'M STILL TOP DOG, YOU KNOW?

FOR A COUPLE OF MORE MINUTES,

THEN SHE'LL BE THE DOG.

UH, YE-YES, SIRE.

KUZCO! THERE'S STILL ONE LAST COOKIE.

WHAT? HUH?

GIMME, GIMME, GIMME!

WHERE'D THAT COME FROM?

WOW. THIS IS A BIG ONE.

"MEMO TO KRONK, FROM YZMA.

RE: EVIL FORTUNE COOKIE KINGDOM-STEALING SCHEME."

HMM.

HEY! MY MEMO!

THANKS. WONDERED WHERE I LEFT THAT.

I MEAN, I FILED THAT UNDER "M."

I MEAN, I'VE NEVER SEEN THAT BEFORE.

UGH...

DO YOU NEEDMORE PROOF?

OH, MALINA, I KNOW YOU'RE ONLY TRYIN' TO HELP,

BUT STUFFING A COOKIE WITH A FAKE FORTUNE TO FRAME KRONK?

COME ON. YOU'RE BETTER THAN THAT.

LET'S GET A MOVE ON, GANG!

SUNDIAL SAYS ONLY ONE MINUTE

TILL I BECOME AN UGLY SLOTH-FACED THING.

WAIT! YOU KEEP SAYING THAT.

MOUNTAIN HARVEST TIME STARTED THIS MORNING.

OH, THAT'S RIGHT, IT DID.

I'VE GOT TO SET MY SUNDIAL AN HOUR AHEAD.

ME, TOO, AND IT'S SO ANNOYING!

I KNOW, 'CAUSE YOU GOTTA DO THE VCR AND THE OVEN--

YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.

OK, THANKS FOR THE REMINDER, MALINA

I'LL GET TO RESETTING MY CLOCKS

RIGHT AFTER I TURN OVER THE KINGDOM.

NO, KUZCO, DON'T YOU GET IT?

IT'S NOT ONE MINUTE TO 5:00.

IT'S ONE MINUTE TO 6:00!

IT--WHAT?

OH, NO! I MISSED THE DEADLINE!

I'M ALREADY A HAIRLESS SLOTH!

AN UGLY, HAIRLESS SLOTH-FACE.

[SOBBING]

NOW I HAVE TO DO SLOTH THINGS!

AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT SLOTHS DO!

EXCEPT THEY'RE REALLY FAST.

UM, I'M TRYING TO TELL YOU,

THE DEADLINE PASSED 59 MINUTES AGO,

AND YOU'RE NOT A HAIRLESS SLOTH.

THOSE FORTUNE COOKIES ARE PHONY.

THEY ALWAYS HAVE BEEN.

I'M NOT--I'M NOT A HAIRLESS SLOTH!

YAY!

♪ I'M STILL ME ♪

♪ I'M STILL MY SAME OLD BEAUTIFUL SELF ♪

♪ UH-HUH, UH HUH! ♪

♪ UH-HUH, UH-HUH, UH-HUH! ♪

EXACTLY THE SAME AS ALWAYS! WHOO-HOO!

ONLY NOW I'LL NEVER BE SO GULLIBLE AGAIN.

AND I KNOW YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS.

[TICKING]

STUPID MOUNTAIN HARVEST TIME!

K-U-Z-C-O!

KUZCO! KUZCO! GO, GO!

Malina: THIS IS A SHUAKA.

SHUAKA'S ARE TROLL-LIKE PEOPLE

WHO DWELL IN A VAST UNDERGROUND CITY.

ACCORDING TO LEGEND, IF YOU SPOT A SHUAKA,

HE MUST RELINQUISH HIS GOLD.

[SIGH] HOW LONGIS THIS SHUKUKA REPORT?

IT'SSHUAKA,

AND I JUST STARTED.

WELL, CAN YOU MOVE IT ALONG?

I'VE GOT A CART CYCLE TO BUY.

HEY! I WAS READING THAT!

YES, YOU WERE.

I'M NOT SURE WHY, THOUGH.

YOU CAN'T AFFORD TO BUY A CART CYCLE.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN? I'M RICH.

UNTIL YOU GRADUATE, YOU CANNOT ACCESS ROYAL FUNDS,

WHICH MEANS YOU ARE CURRENTLY WORTH LESS THAN I AM.

HA!

HMM. OK, THEN I JUST NEED A LOAN.

HOW 'BOUT IT MR. M.?

ME, LOAN MONEY TO YOU?

[LAUGHING]

FINE, THEN I'LL JUST GET IT FROM MALINA.

ME? MONEY? [LAUGHING]

OK. KRONK?

UH...RIGHT.

[LAUGHING]

[CHICHA LAUGHING]

THEN I'LL ASK CHACA.

KUZCO, CHACA DOESN'T HAVE ANY MONEY.

BUT YOU CAN EARN MONEY BY DOING SOME CHORES.

CHORES.

OH, RIGHT.

CHORES.

YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT CHORES ARE, DO YOU?

HUH? YEAH, SURE, I DO.

THEY'RE THOSE THINGS YOU SIT IN.

SO YOU WANT TO GIVE ME MONEY FOR SITTING?

I CAN DO THAT.

NOT CHAIRS, CHORES.

THINGS LIKE DOING THE DISHES.

YOU EARN MONEY IN EXCHANGE FOR WORK.

WORK?

IT'S LIKE YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW ME.

I'M KUZCO, REMEMBER?

NO CHORES, NO MONEY, NO CART CYCLE.

OK, OK... CHORES.

HOW HARD CAN THEY BE?

YOU WANT ME TO TOUCH THAT...

WITH MY HANDS ON PURPOSE?

HUH, YOU'RE RIGHT.

THOSE LEAVES DON'T RAKE THEMSELVES.

Chicha: YOU BROKE EVERY DISH WE HAVE,

EVEN THE ONES THAT WEREN'T DIRTY.

DO I GET EXTRA MONEY FOR THAT?

'CAUSE I THINK I SHOULD.

ACTUALLY, BETWEEN THE DISHES YOU BROKE

AND THE LLAMAS YOU LOST...

I TOLD YOU, I DIDN'T LEAVE THEIR GATE OPEN.

THEY PICKED THE LOCK.

I'D SAY YOU OWEME MONEY.

OK, TIME TO STOP AND PUT ON THE KUZCO THINKING CROWN.

THERE'S GOTTA BE AN EASIER WAY TO MAKE MONEY.

SO, LET'S BACK UP.

HOW DO YOU CLOSE THIS GATE THING?

EH, FORGET IT. IT'S TOO MUCH WORK.

YOU STAY IN THERE, OK, STINKY LLAMAS?

BUH-BYE.

Kuzco: HEH HEH, NOTHIN' TO SEE THERE.

Malina: ACCORDING TO LEGEND,

IF YOU SPOT A SHUAKA,

HE MUST RELINQUISH HIS GOLD.

Kuzco: JACKPOT!

SO YOU KNOW A GUY WHO SAW A SHUKUKA?

WELL, ACTUALLY, I KNOW A GUY WHO KNOWS A GUY

WHO WORKED WITH A GUY WHO WAS NEIGHBORS WITH A GUY

WHO HEARD ABOUT THIS GUY

WHO SAW A SHUAKA IN GUYANA...

AT NIGHT.

IT WAS DARK.

IT COULD HAVE BEEN AN OWL.

[OWL HOOTS]

GOOD ENOUGH. LET'S GO.

WAIT. SHOULDN'T WE ASK MALINA TO GO?

I MEAN, SHE KNOWS MORE ABOUT SHUAKAS THAN ANYBODY.

KRONK, WE'RE GOING TO HUNT FOR SHUAKAS.

IT'S GONNA BE ROUGH OUT THERE.

WE CAN'T BRING MALINA.

UM...WHY?

BECAUSE SHE'S TOUGHER THAN YOU,

AND SHE'LL MAKE YOU LOOK BAD?

NO!

IT'S JUST, YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES SHE GETS KIND OF WEIRD

ABOUT SUCCESS, COMPETITION, AND STUFF.

OH, YOU MEAN, SHE GETS BOSSY AND OBSESSED WITH WINNING?

YES, BUT KEEP IT DOWN.

IF SHE HEARS, WE'LL BOTH GET THE "MALINA STARE" FOR SURE.

OH, YEAH. HATE THAT.

THE STARE.

Kuzco: OK, WE HAVE A TRAP,

A BACKUP TRAP,

AND A BACKUP TRAP FOR THE BACKUP TRAP.

AND WE'RE USING YOUR BEST DESSERTS AS BAIT.

HOW DO WE KNOW SHUAKA'S LIKE CAKE AND PIES AND COOKIES?

UH, WHO DOESN'T LIKE CAKE AND PIES AND COOKIES?

RIGHT!

OH, SOMETHIN'S COMIN'.

WAS THAT A SHUAKA?

NO, THAT WAS BUCKY.

[BURP]

HEH HEH. 'SCUSE ME.

WE NEED HELP.

THAT GOES WITHOUT SAYING.

WE'RE TRYING TO FIND A SHUKUKA.

SO YOU'RE DRESSED AS GIANT FOOD?

WELL, BUCKY ATE ALL OF KRONK'S DESSERTS,

SO...WE THOUGHT, UH...

WHAT WERE WE THINKIN' AGAIN?

I HAVE NO IDEA,

AND I WANTED TO BE THE PIZZA.

YOU'D KNOW ALL ABOUT SHUAKAS

IF YOU'D LISTENED TO MY REPORT.

LOOK, ARE YOU GONNA HELP OR NOT?

OK, IT'S GONNA BE A LOT OF WORK,

SO I GET HALF THE GOLD WHEN WE FIND A SHUAKA,

AND YOU GUYS GOTTA DO EVERYTHING I SAY.

YEAH, RIGHT.

THE STARE!

FINE, YOU WIN.

GOOD! I LOVE WINNING!

AND I KNOW JUST WHERE TO LOOK FOR SHUAKAS.

Malina: THE SUN GATE IS THE SECRET ENTRANCE

TO THE SHUAKAS' UNDERGROUND CITY.

WE HAVE TO WAIT FOR ONE TO COME OUT.

UH...HOW MUCH LONGER?

AS LONG AS IT TAKES.

YOU SURE YOU DON'T NEED ME TO DRESS UP

AS A GIANT SLICE OF PIZZA

WITH PEPPERONIS AND BELL PEPPERS AND PINEAPPLE?

LOOK!

OK, I'LL GO IN FIRST.

Kuzco: GET HIM!

Kronk: HE'S MINE! WHO-HOO-HOO!

HE'S MINE!

OW!

HI. I'M MALINA.

I'M GUESSING YOU'RE A SHUAKA,

AND I READ THAT IF WE SEE YOU,

YOU HAVE TO GIVE US GOLD.

SO, HAND IT OVER.

PLEASED TO MEET YOU, MY DEAR.

MY NAME IS GEEZO.

SO, YOU KNOW THE LEGEND, DO YOU?

DEE-LIGHTFUL!

I'D BE TICKLED TO HONOR THE TRADITION

OF SHARING MY GOLD WITH SURFACE-DWELLERS.

WHAT FUN!

SWEET. ALL RIGHT, I'LL TAKE THAT

IN COINS, BARS, AND GOLD ME STATUES.

OH, I'M AFRAID I CAN'T GIVE YOU GOLD.

OUR GOLD IS GUARDED BY AN ANCIENT SPIRIT

WHO ONLY GIVES GOLD TO THE PURE OF HEART.

SORRY.

I GOT 20-20 VISION AND ONLY A COUPLE OF CAVITIES.

CLOSE ENOUGH?

NO. I'M AFRAID YOUR PURITY MUST BE TESTED.

BUT DON'T WORRY.

I'M SURE YOU'LL DO SPLENDIDLY.

BEHOLD! THE CHASM OF PURITY.

YOU MUST DESCEND TO ITS DEEPEST DEPTHS

AND RETRIEVE WATER FROM THE SPRING OF PURITY.

YOU KNOW, TAP WATER ISN'T THAT DIFFERENT FROM SPRING WATER,

PLUS, IT'S FLUORIDATED.

KUZCO, IF YOU WANT A CART CYCLE,

WE NEED TO GET THAT SPRING WATER.

YOU'RE RIGHT.

WELL, GOOD LUCK, YOU TWO.

WHAT? YOU WANT ME TO GO, TOO?

♪ DA DO DO ♪

♪ DA DA DA DA DA DA DUH DUH ♪

♪ DA DA DUH DUH! ♪

♪ DO DO DO, DO DO DA-DA DA DAH! ♪

♪ HA! HYAH! HYAH! HO! DO DO DO BA-DA BUM BUM... ♪

Malina: KRONK!

WHAT?

CUT THE THEME MUSIC AND FOCUS!

THAT GOES DOUBLE FOR YOU, KUZCO.

KUZCO?

KUZCO?

Kuzco: AAH!

[SPLASH]

IT'S COLD!

THE WATER'S COLD!

NOW THAT YOU HAVE RETRIEVED THE WATER OF PURITY,

YOU MUST BUILD...

A GAZEBO OF PURITY!

UH... WHY IS THAT AGAIN?

TO PROVE YOU ARE PURE, OF COURSE.

CAN'T ARGUE WITH THAT.

COME ON. THERE'S A LOT OF WORK TO DO.

YEAH. I THINK I FEEL

A "GET UP AND GO HOME" COMING ON.

NOT SURE I EVEN WANT A CART CYCLE ANYMORE.

WELL, YOU'RE GETTING ONE.

I DON'T QUIT, AND NEITHER DOES MY TEAM.

NOW STOP JAWING AND START SAWING.

AND I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA BE BOSSY.

BOY, WAS I WRONG.

Kuzco: IT'S TIME FOR KUZCO'S DOODLES.

THAT'S THE PART OF THE SHOW

WHERE WE BUILD A GAZEBO.

"WHAT'S A GAZEBO?" YOU ASK.

SILLY VIEWER.

THIS IS A GAZEBO.

WAIT. THAT'S A GAZELLE.

RIGHT? CAN'T BUILD AN ANIMAL OUT OF WOOD.

OK, GET THIS.

A GAZEBO'S JUST A PLACE WHERE OLD PEOPLE

SIT AND DRINK LEMONADE.

HOW BORING IS THAT?

I'D RATHER HAVE BUILT A WOOD ANIMAL.

BUT NOT MALINA. NO!

SHE'S ALL, "STOP BUILDING LLAMAS.

START WITH THE NEXT TEST."

GUESS SHE HATES ANIMALS.

NOW FOR THE FINAL TEST. YOU MUST...

TAKE THE SACKS IF PURITY,

CONTAINING THE RELICS OF PURITY

TO THE RELIC HEAP OF PURITY.

HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT?

WHAT ELSE WOULD IT BE?

YES, WELL, UM...

WHEN YOU ARRIVE, THE ANCIENT SPIRIT WILL DECIDE

IF YOU ARE PURE ENOUGH TO RECEIVE GOLD.

[SNIFF SNIFF]

IS IT ME, OR DOES SOMETHING SMELL LIKE DEAD FISH?

NO TIME FOR SMELLING. LET'S GO.

[YAWN] HOW ABOUT A QUICK NAP OF PURITY FIRST, HUH?

WHO'S WITH ME?

THE STARE!

THAT STARE DOESN'T SCARE ME.

AS MUCH AS IT USED TO.

HEY! SHE'S NOT THE BOSS OF US!

Malina: I HEARD THAT.

THIS IS IT?

WHERE'S THE SPIRIT GUY PERSON THINGY?

[GHOSTLY MOANING]

AHH AHH AHH!

[COUGHING]

[GASP] ANCIENT SPIRIT OF PURITY!

YES, IT IS--AHEM.

[DEEPER VOICE] YES, IT IS I,

THE ANCIENT SPIRIT OF PURITY.

BRING ON THE GOLD!

YOU KNOW, YOU KIND OF LOOK

LIKE GEEZO WEARING A SHEET, ANCIENT SPIRIT?

MALINA, I THINK I KNOW A SPIRIT WHEN I--

GEEZO'S THE GREAT SPIRIT?

WHY'S HE WEARIN' A SHEET?

GARBAGE?

THAT'S WHAT SMELLS.

WE'RE NOT HAULIN' RELICS.

WE'RE TAKIN' OUT THE TRASH.

IT'S A SCAM!

GEEZO TRICKED US INTO DOIN' CHORES.

SO WHERE'S OUR GOLD?

IT'S NOT YOUR GOLD!

IT'S MINE! YOU CAN'T HAVE IT!

CHUAKAS HAVE BEEN TRICKING YOU ROTTEN SURFACE-DWELLERS

INTO DOING OUR WORK FOR CENTURIES.

HA HA HA!

SERVES YOU RIGHT FOR TRYIN' TO STEAL OUR GOLD.

YEAH, BUT WE SHOULD GET SOMETHING.

I MEAN, WE WORKED ALL DAY.

YOU GOT SOMETHING.

YOU GOT A LESSON YOU'LL NEVER FORGET.

IF YOU WANT SOMETHING, YOU GOTTA EARN IT.

Kuzco: NO, YOU'RE NOT DREAMING.

I'M REALLY DOING THE DISHES.

I FIGURED, IF I'M GONNA WORK,

MIGHT AS WELL BE FOR CHICHA.

AT LEAST SHE PAYS.

NOT LIKE THAT CHEAPSHUKUKA!

THE GOOD NEWS IS, I DID THE MATH,

AND IF I KEEP DOING CHORES AROUND HERE,

I'LL BE ABLE TO BUY A CART CYCLE IN ONLY...

3 YEARS.

[PLATES BREAKING]

OR MAYBE A LITTLE LONGER.

HEY, LOOKIE! ANOTHER COOKIE!

"AT THE END OF TODAY'S EPISODE,

YOU WILL BE SEEN READING THIS FORTUNE."

[THINKING] NOW, WAIT A MINUTE.

I'M READING THIS FORTUNE NOW, BUT...

OH, IT MUST BE THE END OF THE EPISODE.

THIS GUY'S A GENIUS!

OH, WAIT. THERE'S MORE.

AND THEN YOU WILL GIVE A GREAT, BIG KISS TO...

YZMA?!