All language subtitles for The Barbarian and the Troll s01e06 Parents Just Dont Understand.eng

[jaunty medieval music]

♪ ♪

- Huh.
I'm so hungry,

I could eat everything
on this menu.

- I know. They should really
wash these things off.

[shivers in disgust]

- Guys, I'm really worried
about Brendar.

- Why?
She said she was okay.

- Dad, she said the same thing

after an orc stabbed her
in the leg.

- One shrew on a shingle,

[yelling indistinctly]
on the hook with sea dust!

- It's like I can still
hear her voice.

- Because you can.
She's right over there.

- Hi, I'm Brendar.
I'll be your server today.

Can I start you off
with something to drink,

or would you like
a Caledonian squid?

- I can't believe it.
- I know!

The McSquid is back.

- No, that Brendar
is waiting tables.

- Ugh, looks like I'm going to
have to find a new lunch spot.

- Why?

- Ever since I lied to Brendar
about the dragon tear,

she won't talk to me.

- Seems a little childish,
no?

- Hmm.
- What'll it be?

- I'll have a grilled cheese
with the crust cut off.

Can I please have some crayons
for this maze?

- Brendar, why are
you waiting tables?

You said you're fine
after the whole Sharon thing.

- Sharon thing?

That's putting it mildly.

First, Sharon humiliated her.

Then she took her slogan.

And then she pointed
out that Axe

was useless
without dragon tears.

- That is some
depressing exposition.

- Hm.
- I am fine.

I just decided
to stop questing.

- What?
But questing is your life.

- It's just a little
career change.

- Oh, this maze is impossible!

- So from now on,

I will no longer be known
as "Brendar the Barbarian."

Henceforth, I shall be known

as Brendar the Barmaidian.

- ♪ A troll burned
his bridge ♪

♪ A warrior lost her crown ♪

♪ I'm not being poetic ♪

♪ That's literally
what went down ♪

♪ Together their journey
has begun ♪

♪ Combining might and melody ♪

♪ To quest and smite a demon ♪

♪ And find their true family ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ The Barmaidian
and the Troll ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

♪ The Barmaidian
and the Troll ♪

[jaunty music]

- One Griffin steak
and one salad.

- Uh, we ordered
the chop salad.

- Oh, I'm so sorry.

[dramatic music]

Anything else?

- No, we're--we're good.

- Okay, great.

- Excuse me.
- Yeah?

- Can we split the check?
- Oh, yeah, sure.

[grunts]

[table creaks, thuds]

- [sighs]

- There you go.
both: Uhh...

- I'm sorry, sir.
This table is reserved.

- Wait, wait--wait!

- [grunts]
- [yelps]

I regret nothing!

[grunts]

[dishes clank]

- Manticore, party of four,

your table's ready.

[mouse squeaking]
- That's it.

I'm gonna go get
those dragon tears myself,

then Brendar
won't be mad at me.

- You can't do that alone.

What are you going to do?
Hop your way to the dragon?

- If I must.
- No.

We just have to go talk to her.

[grunts]

- Psst, hey.

Hey.
Hey, girl.

[dreamy music]

Whoa.

- [sighs]

- [huffs]

- Wow.

- Hey, is that strange bird
over there staring at you?

- Oh, sweet.
I got a shot.

[grunts]

- Oh, now he's coming
over here.

- [chuckling, grunts]

Hey, I'm Biff.

- Hey.
Stacey.

This is my dad, Horus.

- Hey.
Nice to meet you.

I couldn't help but notice you
checking me out back there.

- Who, me?
[both laughing]

- All right.

You can stop right there

with the tweet nothings,
Mister.

- "You can stop right there

with the tweet nothings,
Mister."

- What the--

- Dad, I think
it's pretty clear.

Biff's a mockingbird.

- Bingo.
"Oh, I'm a wizard.

I wear a dress
and wave a magic wand."

- It's a staff,

and why should I conform
to your gender norms?

- You work out?

- All the time.

[Stacey giggles]
- [groans]

- [whispering] Go.
Go, go, go.

- Hey, Brendar.

I'm really sorry

about the whole
"restrictions apply" thing.

- People sitting
in the wrong place.

Nobody knows what's going on--

- Brendar, Axe is very sorry.

- Evan, I'm not speaking
to Axe.

- Hey, Axe.

Brendar says she's
not speaking to you.

- Well, you tell Brendar
that by speaking to you,

she's speaking to me, so there.

- Brendar, Axe says--
- I don't need this.

The kitchen is short-staffed,

everyone's ordering
off menu-items,

and the only tips
I got all day

are two ducats and a fake eye!

- Uh, excuse me.
I lost me eye.

[Brendar sighs heavily]

- Ah.

Thank you.

- Brendar, did you chop four

of my tables in half
with your sword?

- Yeah, and now you have eight.
You're welcome.

- That's it, Brendar.
You're fired.

- [scoffs]
- Hand over your apron

and your flair.

- Not my smile button.

- Yeah.
- Fine.

I hate smiling anyway.

[melancholy music]

- You want a job?

- No, I want a dessert menu.

- All right.

- I hear there's
some really good rats

out by the trash.

- Ooh, trash rats?
[laughs]

You don't have
to twist my wing.

- [groans]
- Okay, great.

I'll give you a call
some time.

- Okay.
- Listen for this.

[caws]

Bye.
- Wow.

Bye.
It's nice meeting you.

- What in the name
of phoenix's ash was that?

- What?
I was just being polite.

- I don't understand what

you could possibly see
in that dodo.

- Ugh, he's a mockingbird, Dad.

And I think he has
a great sense of humor

plus he's kind of cute.

- Stacey, you're too young
for this.

Do you know how old I was

when I went out
on my first date?

- [groans]
- 75.

- You're a wizard, Dad!

You have a life expectancy
of, like, 300 years.

- [clears throat]

Hey everybody.
Look, it's Brendar.

She's given up her dream
of waiting tables

to join us excitedly
on our next quest.

- I never said that.

- Well, you gotta quest.

- Birds gotta fly.
- Gnomes gotta dance.

- Wizards gotta whiz.

- I know you're upset,
but isn't it

about time you forgive Axe?

I mean,
you got to get out there

and avenge your incredibly
complicated backstory.

- The troll has a point.

- Thank you.

Look--all I'm saying is,

if you refuse
to confront your problems,

you'll never be happy.

- You're right.

[heroic music]

I will get
those dragon's tears,

and I will seek my vengeance
upon Alvin the demon.

- That's the spirit.

- But I will not speak
to that hack.

- Oh.
Well, sure.

Some of my magic
is questionable,

but I wouldn't call myself--

oh, you're talking about Axe.

- [dejectedly] Hmm.

- Well, okay.

The gang's back together.

Let's get questing
to that dragon's lair.

Come on!

- Whoo-hoo!
- Axe is back, baby.

- [laughs]

- [aloof chuckling]

- What are you waiting for?

- What?
Me?

I was just gonna stay here
just in case

anyone wanted to hang out

and I'm hanging out--
- All right.

No daughter of mine
is fraternizing

with a bird brain like Biff.

- What?
- Come on.

- Call me.

- [chuckles]

She already misses me.

- The tyranny of the violent
barmaid is over.

[all cheering]

[gentle music]

- Huh.

Here's our first
troll bridge.

Wow, memories.

It'll be like walking
across the charred remains

of my failed career
as a gold digger.

- Yeah, it sounds like
a real dance around the maple.

- Good one, Brendar.

- Hey, why don't you
let me handle this

'cause trolls are my people
and we have a special bond.

[heavy footsteps thud]

[dramatic music]

- Halt.
- Whoa.

- None shall pass this bridge
without surrendering a fee.

- Some bond.

- Evan?
- Uh, yeah.

- Dude, it's me.
Doug from health class.

- What?
Well, look at you, man.

You really grew up
over the summer.

- Yeah.
Well, apparently,

I have quite
the glandular problem.

- Hm.
- Well, you know the ropes.

You got to pay the toll
or we got to fight.

- Oh, yeah, but that's not

gonna be necessary.

You'll let us pass, right?
- Oh!

- I mean, trolls before tolls.

- Mm, no can do, buddy.

Troll King sent word down.

- Huh?
- No passage.

- They really captured
your likeness.

- My ears aren't that big.

- Enough of this
ridiculousness.

Let me slice this fool
into pieces.

- Like a purple cake.

- But it's Doug
from health class.

- How else are we gonna
cross this bridge?

- Ugh, well, can't we pay?

I mean didn't you make any tips
at the Goiter?

- No. I made two ducats
and a fake eye,

and I had to give the eye back.

- How are we gonna get
to the dragon?

There's at least ten bridges
along our path.

- That's ten more trolls
I'm chopping in half.

- Chop, chop.
- No, no, no, no, no, no.

Okay.
Listen.

There is a way that
I can guarantee free crossing

for all bridges in Gothmoria.

- Well, what's that?

- It's called
the Troll's Passage.

- You better get
that pass quick

because this bridge shuts down
in an hour for renovation.

Turns out a lot of these
bridges are highly flammable.

- Huh.

- How do we get
this "Troll's Passage"?

- It's at my parent's house.

Okay, so what you're gonna
be doing is taking a left

past the forest
of screaming trees.

But if you reach
the shrieking mountains,

then you've gone too far.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Why do you get to stay here?

- Are you seriously bailing

at the first bridge
on the road?

- I was trying to.

- We're getting dragon's tears
to fight a demon.

Your parents cannot
be scarier than that.

So troll up and let's do this.

- Well, when you put it
that way.

- You heard the troll.
Move out!

- [caws]

- Biff.

Hey, my wings are tired,

so I think
I'm just gonna rest here.

- [cawing]

- Ah, yeah.
You know what?

My wings are tired too,

so I'll wait here with you.

- You don't have any wings,
Dad.

- Poof.

- [groans]

- [laughs]

- Caw-caw--aw, man.

- Hold on.

I think I should prepare you

for what we might find

when we get
into my parents' house.

- I've been in a house before.

- No, no, I know,
but it's my parents.

See, my mom talks
in a unique way--

- Evan, we have 45 minutes
to get in,

get the passage,
and get back to the bridge.

I don't care
if your mom has an accent.

- [slurping, grunting]

- [groaning, laughing]

- I take that back.
This is unusual.

- So inappropriate,
I can't look away.

- Oh, Ma, not in front
of my friends.

This is embarrassing.
[chuckles]

- Ah.
- Okay.

Grab the pass
and let's get out of here.

- No, we can't just barge in
and ask.

My dad needs a little
buttering up first.

[door creaks]
[dramatic music]

- Well, well, well.

A prodigal son returns.

- It's going better
than I expected.

[whispers]
He thinks I'm a prodigy.

- That's not what that means.

- Hey, Mom, Dad,
these are my friends.

- [groans]

- Brendar and Axe.

- You keep a lovely home,
Troll Queen.

This could be featured
in "Better Homes and Hovels."

- Ah!
- So let me guess.

You gave up
your ridiculous dream

of becoming a musician

and came home to beg
for your old job back.

- Actually, he came to beg
for something else.

- I don't want my old job back.

I'm doing fine as a musician.

- Son, you're more
disappointing

than the reviews
of my first novel.

- Novel's generous.
It was more of a coloring book.

- I never understood this kid.
He's so humiliating.

- Well, you know
who gets me is Ma.

She always thought
I was adorable and sweet.

- Yeah, your mother thinks
you're sweet,

all right, like a dessert.

Geraldina tried to eat Evan
when he was born.

Tries to eat him every chance
she can get, really.

- That's a thing with trolls,
is it?

- It's not uncommon.

- Looks like the queen
likes finger foods.

- What?
- [chomps]

- Whoa, Ma!
Ow, ow, ow!

- Okay, so this quest we're on

is very challenging...
- [groaning]

- And we're going to be
crossing a lot of bridges,

so we thought you could
really help us out by--

- Burning them all down?

- [groans]

- All right, all right.
I'll be less snarky.

So if you want to cross
the troll bridge,

you know the deal.

You either pay or slay.

- Yeah, but we'll be slaying

a bunch of our friends.

- Okay, but because
we don't have any money,

you have something to ask them.

- [sighs]
Yeah.

Uh, I really wanted
to ask you if, uh...

- [growls]

- If I could show Brendar
my old room.

- Evan.
- It's right over there.

- [singsongy] Mm-mah!

- His room's a cabinet?
- Oh, he wishes.

It's the top drawer
of the cabinet.

The second one's
our junk drawer.

If you need 15 packets
of duck sauce

and a bunch of keys that
don't seem to match anything.

- [groans]

- What's that Ma? Snacks?

Ooh, Mom's gonna make us
some snacks, Brendar.

Did you hear?
- I heard.

- Mom's a super good cook.
She--

What?
No, I'm not the snack.

[laughing]

That's Ma doing
her old snack thing again.

[laughs]

[light music]

- Yeah.
I like worms too.

- He's still up there,
isn't he?

- How would I know?

- Because you can see things
a mile away.

It's kinda your thing.

- Fine, yes.

He's still up there.

I don't understand why you
just won't let me talk to him.

- Because you're still
my little girl.

You're not ready to date.

- I need to spread my wings
and fly.

I wanna see what's out there.

You can't keep me
in a cage forever.

- Actually,
I think I can legally.

At least until you're 18.

- Ugh!

- I don't mean
to be judgmental,

but you have a weird
relationship with your bird.

♪ ♪

- Then the minotaur says,

"Well, that's what you get
when you wear red."

- [laughs]
That's a good one, Evan.

- It's not funny.

- She's right.
That's not funny.

- Ooh.
I want some of that.

Ooh, ah, that's hot.
Whoo.

- [grunts]

- Oh, yeah.
Thanks, Ma.

- Oh, yeah.
That's great.

- Hey, troll...

"passage" me some
of those tasty morsels.

- Oh, sure.

- [sighs]
- [sniffs]

[scoffs]

Lemon pepper?

Ma, you were marinating me?

- [groans]

- Instead of trying to cook me,

why don't you show Brendar
around the house

and I'll have a chat with Dad?

both:
Please don't make me do that.

- [grunting]

- Ooh, I'll come.

I can give you some decor tips.

I have a flair
for interior design.

- [clears throat]
So why are you really here?

- [gulps]

- [growls]

- And I'm just saying that
having a teenage daughter

is more work than I expected.

- I know what you mean.

I have three teenage sisters,

and all they do is sass
my dad all day long.

- Oh, the sassing is the worst.
- Mm-hmm.

- Just this morning, Stacey--

Stacey?
Where, wha--

Oh, fiddlesticks.

[sighs]

- Goodbye, I guess.

- [groaning]
Ah.

- Huh.

Your indoor outhouse
is very modern.

- Brendar,
what about the troll pass?

- Where's Evan?

- Oh.
Sulking in his room.

- [grunts]

- Evan...
- Hm.

- That bridge closes
in 20 minutes.

If we don't get
the Troll's Passage,

I'm gonna have to pursue
options you don't like.

- [sighs] I know.
It's just...

I'm afraid my dad's
gonna freak out.

I don't think I can do this.

- I know you're scared,

but a wise troll once told me

if you refuse to confront
your problems,

you'll never be happy.

- Well, that's good advice.

I'd like to meet that troll.

- It was you.
You're the troll.

You can do this.

[hopeful music]

Well, we have to get going.

- We hope the rest of your day
is as pleasant as you are.

- Now that you've eaten us
out of house and home,

and linseed oil.

- Thanks again for that.

- Is there anything else?

Or are we done here?

- Actually, I need a favor.

- There it is.

- We need a Troll's Passage
for our journey.

- A Troll's Passage?

- I know it's a lot to ask,

but I swear I'll never ask you
for anything again.

So will you please help us...

[softly] Papa?

- [groans empathetically]

- [groans]

All right.
Here it is.

Troll's Passage.

You can have it
on one condition.

- Yeah, anything.

- Leave that ridiculous lute
behind.

- [gasps]

I can't travel
without my lute.

I might as well be leaving
my beating heart behind.

- I don't care.
That's my offer.

The pass for the lute.

- Fine.
You can have my lute.

- Man, why do you hate
the creative arts?

- [growls]

- Evan, are you sure
about this?

- I am, because continuing
on this quest

is more important.

We have to get
those dragon's tears.

- That's very big of you, Evan,

especially since
you're so tiny.

Thank you.

- Yeah.

♪ ♪

I'll come back for you one day.

- Oh, I don't think
you'll want this back.

[chomping]
[lute plucks, cracks]

[ominous music]

- [chuckles, belches]

Delicious, a little stringy.

- All right.
Just give us the pass

so we can get out of here.

- [chomps, swallows]
- [gasps]

- Not as good as the lute,
but I think you get my point.

[dramatic music]

- [grumbles]

- Do we get to have
an intermission for this drama?

- You have no respect
for your son.

You made him sleep in a drawer!
- Yeah.

- Why would he want
to be a bridge troll?

He wants to be a musician.

Do you have to squash
his dreams?

- Are you going to let
this barbarian talk

to your father like that?

- Yes, because she is right.

- Yes, she is.
- [groans]

- I'm sorry if I don't fit in

to your neat little drawer,
Dad.

I will always love you,

but I will never come back
to this house.

both: Evan!

- Feel free to turn my room
into a sock drawer

because from now on,
I'm my own troll.

Come on.
Let's quest.

- Hey--

- [yells]

- I know it's a little harsh.
[door shuts]

But it's for his own good.

- [groans]

- Geraldina?
No! No!

[both yelling]

- Well, that's it.

We don't have the pass,
and the bridge is closing.

I'm sorry I failed you,
Brendar.

- Don't be sorry.

I'm proud of what you did
back there.

And seeing you with your dad
made me realize

you can't treat the people
you care about like garbage.

- Hm.
- Axe.

I'm sorry.

- You mean it?
- Yes.

I'm sorry for the way I acted.

If Evan can spend his whole
life being overly criticized,

mercilessly ridiculed,

and in constant fear
of being eaten,

then I can handle
one small little setback.

- Well, I mean, I did have
a couple good years in there.

- Sure, Evan.
Sure, you did.

- I did.
At least I liked them.

[jaunty music]

- What are they doing up there?

I can't see a thing.

[romantic music]

- Mmm, mmm.

- [chuckles]
Thanks for the worm.

- Oh, you're welcome.

You know, your eyes sparkle

like two birdbaths.

- Oh, Biff, that's so sweet.

- "Oh, Biff, that's so sweet."

- Biff.
- I'm sorry.

It's a mockingbird thing.

- It's okay.
- Mm.

- So do you have any siblings?

- "Yeah, so do you have
any siblings,

like brothers, sisters?"

[mumbling mockingly]
- Okay.

I don't think this
is gonna work.

It was nice meeting you, Biff.

- Aww.
Nice meeting you too.

[mockingly]
Oh, Biff, you're all alone.

You'll never have anyone
to love you. Nyeh!

[normal voice] Yeah,
you know what? I hear it now.

Huh.
That's super obnoxious.

[jaunty music]

- Trouble in paradise?

- Yeah, you were right
about Biff.

He wasn't for me.

- Horus, one.
Biff, zero.

- But sooner or later,
I might find someone

that is right for me,
and I'm gonna wanna date.

You can't clip my wings, Dad.

- Ah, you're right.

Although it did take
everything I had

not to zap you out
of that tree.

Can we call that progress?

- It's a good start.

- Aww. [chuckles]

You're back!

We only have five minutes
before the bridge closes.

Do you have
the Troll's Passage?

both: No.
- Turns out the troll king

is a real pain in the--

- Axe, you're back
with Brendar?

- Yeah, we figured it out.

- Anyway, as I was saying,

he ate the pass.

So it looks like
we're gonna get to chop up

all the bridge trolls
moving forward.

- [groans]
- Hm?

Ma, what are you doing here?

- [grunts]

- You're here to give me
something?

- [gibberish]

- Oh, it's my lute.

Oh, you pulled it out
of dad's mouth, huh?

[laughs]
- How sweet and disgusting.

- Ah!
- Something else?

- Ah.
- Oh, my toy horse, Clippy.

You know, I always wondered
where he went.

- [groaning]

- Something else?

- [grunts]
- [gasps]

The Troll's Passage!

What?

Oh, Ma, how can
I ever thank you?

- [grunts]

- I really appreciate
you believing in me.

I promise I'll make you proud.

- [grunts happily]
- Aww.

- [sniffs, slurps]
- [yelps]

[chuckles] Mom!

- Gross.
- Yuck.

- It's beautiful.
- [sniffles]

- Are you crying, Dad?

- No, you're crying.

- I hope the dragon cries
this easy.

- [sobbing]
- Come on. There, there.

[exciting music]

- [gibberish]

- Time's up.
Bridge closed.

- But--

- That Troll's Passage
can't help.

Only good
during business hours.

- [grunting angrily]
- Oh, oh!

Sorry, your Highness,
of course.

I think a two-minute grace
period is totally acceptable.

- [grunts]
- All right.

- Yeah.
Thanks, Mom.

Okay, everybody.
Let's quest!

- Finally.
- All right. [chuckles]

- Yeah!
- [cawing]

- Oh, come on, Biff.
Take the hint.

Ugh.
- [groans]

[grunts]

- I love you, too, Mom.

[kisses, blows]

- [groans]

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