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1
00:00:36,369 --> 00:00:41,999
[SINGlNG "TRUE COLORS"]
2
00:02:03,873 --> 00:02:05,707
MAN 1 : You suck.
MAN 2: Oh, my God.
3
00:02:05,875 --> 00:02:08,001
Get those tards off the stage right now.
4
00:02:08,169 --> 00:02:11,630
[MARKY MARK AND THE FUNKY BUNCH'S
"GOOD VlBRATIONS" PLAYS]
5
00:02:15,552 --> 00:02:17,594
-Let's bail.
-Don't we wanna see if we win?
6
00:02:17,762 --> 00:02:19,555
Come on.
7
00:02:20,890 --> 00:02:23,684
I can't wait to graduate
and get the hell out of this place.
8
00:02:23,852 --> 00:02:25,727
JUDl: I thought we had
some intricate harmonies.
9
00:02:25,895 --> 00:02:27,771
Should've done
"Mama Said Knock You Out."
10
00:02:27,939 --> 00:02:32,067
I'll tell you one thing, when we graduate
from college, we're gonna soar like eagles.
11
00:02:32,235 --> 00:02:34,111
Yeah, we just haven't peaked yet.
12
00:02:34,279 --> 00:02:37,739
We're the ones who are going to get
the cool jobs, the sexy husbands...
13
00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:39,867
...the sky-high self-esteem.
14
00:02:40,034 --> 00:02:42,578
Right. Today's geeks turn out
to be tomorrow's winners.
15
00:02:42,745 --> 00:02:46,456
So screw college because, ladies,
real life starts now.
16
00:02:46,624 --> 00:02:48,750
Yeah, and we are gonna have it all.
17
00:02:49,252 --> 00:02:52,087
Look out, world, here we come.
18
00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:01,847
-Oh!
-Ah!
19
00:03:02,015 --> 00:03:03,557
Dang it.
20
00:03:03,725 --> 00:03:05,100
Oh.
21
00:03:05,268 --> 00:03:06,268
Your blouse.
22
00:03:06,436 --> 00:03:08,437
-l have a moist towelette.
BECKY: No worries.
23
00:03:08,605 --> 00:03:10,689
I'll just hit T.J. Maxx on the way to work.
24
00:03:11,191 --> 00:03:12,900
The max for the minimum, smart.
25
00:03:13,067 --> 00:03:15,319
I have to go.
I'm graduating students today.
26
00:03:15,486 --> 00:03:16,862
Oh, great.
27
00:03:17,238 --> 00:03:18,572
Well, hang in there.
28
00:03:18,740 --> 00:03:20,574
Like a cat on a branch.
29
00:03:22,035 --> 00:03:23,076
-See you later.
-Bye.
30
00:03:23,244 --> 00:03:24,453
BECKY:
Have a great day.
31
00:03:26,623 --> 00:03:29,458
Graduation day
is always very emotional for me.
32
00:03:30,126 --> 00:03:34,421
The bond that we share with
our canine friends is a special one.
33
00:03:34,964 --> 00:03:37,382
Dogs don't care
how much money you make...
34
00:03:37,550 --> 00:03:41,929
...what kind of car you drive,
or whose name's on the back of your jeans.
35
00:03:42,513 --> 00:03:45,265
They don't care if you cry a lot
at commercials...
36
00:03:45,433 --> 00:03:47,935
...or have a mustache
that you haven't waxed.
37
00:03:48,102 --> 00:03:50,812
Dogs don't care if you shame-eat
when you're lonely.
38
00:03:51,814 --> 00:03:55,192
And l never, ever feel judged by dogs.
39
00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:58,820
Because dogs love your insides.
40
00:03:59,906 --> 00:04:02,407
And that's why l love dogs.
41
00:04:09,832 --> 00:04:11,500
TED:
Come on.
42
00:04:13,711 --> 00:04:15,545
-Gayle, l really don't--
-Oh, over here.
43
00:04:15,713 --> 00:04:18,006
Gayle, l just wanted to thank you
for everything.
44
00:04:18,174 --> 00:04:19,925
Pepper's already changing my life.
45
00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:21,677
Oh, she's a good dog.
46
00:04:22,136 --> 00:04:26,265
Well, ever since l met Pepper and you,
I've felt much more confident.
47
00:04:27,141 --> 00:04:30,227
Life is just that much easier.
48
00:04:30,395 --> 00:04:32,354
Running errands, taking the train.
49
00:04:32,855 --> 00:04:35,190
I even think that
I might be ready to start dating.
50
00:04:35,358 --> 00:04:38,819
Something l never would've dreamed of
before l met you and Pepper.
51
00:04:38,987 --> 00:04:40,654
[BOTH CHUCKLING]
52
00:04:41,489 --> 00:04:43,365
-Really?
-Yeah.
53
00:04:47,036 --> 00:04:50,706
You know, I wouldn't usually
ask this of a client, but what the hell.
54
00:04:50,873 --> 00:04:54,918
I have two tickets to
the Amy Grant concert on Friday.
55
00:04:55,086 --> 00:04:57,170
Would you like to go with me?
56
00:04:57,755 --> 00:05:01,508
Well, you see, the thing is,
I only love Amy Grant.
57
00:05:02,218 --> 00:05:03,802
Wow.
58
00:05:03,970 --> 00:05:05,012
May I?
59
00:05:05,388 --> 00:05:06,930
Oh.
60
00:05:16,190 --> 00:05:18,859
I'm sorry. You know what?
I've got plans.
61
00:05:19,027 --> 00:05:20,694
Come on, Pepper.
62
00:05:23,573 --> 00:05:25,907
WOMAN:
Senator Hartmann's office.
63
00:05:26,075 --> 00:05:27,993
Senator Hartmann's office.
64
00:05:29,495 --> 00:05:31,121
Ma'am?
65
00:05:31,956 --> 00:05:36,418
One shot from this baby
can blow a man's spine out his back.
66
00:05:36,586 --> 00:05:38,587
[HARTMANN CHUCKLING]
67
00:05:39,881 --> 00:05:42,632
I thought that you could use
a whole bottle.
68
00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:52,351
Something else?
69
00:05:53,519 --> 00:05:56,813
Have you had a chance to read
my notes on fuel efficiency?
70
00:05:56,981 --> 00:06:00,108
I really think my ideas
offer a bold bipartisan--
71
00:06:00,276 --> 00:06:01,443
-Betty.
-Becky.
72
00:06:01,611 --> 00:06:05,113
Honey, why would a sweet gal like you
wanna get involved...
73
00:06:05,281 --> 00:06:08,283
...in stinky old policy debates?
74
00:06:11,954 --> 00:06:14,831
Well, as much as I love my job
as office manager...
75
00:06:14,999 --> 00:06:17,209
...what l really want
is to make a difference.
76
00:06:17,377 --> 00:06:20,253
Did you know that
this country is addicted to oil?
77
00:06:21,714 --> 00:06:23,590
Listen, Betty.
78
00:06:23,758 --> 00:06:26,968
You're a really good office manager.
79
00:06:27,136 --> 00:06:31,306
But if you wanna be a woman in politics,
you're gonna have to get some nuts.
80
00:06:31,474 --> 00:06:33,225
Let me ask you a question.
81
00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:35,644
Are you tough enough
to take a loaded shotgun...
82
00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:40,816
...aim it at some cracker
and tell them to "eat me"?
83
00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:48,156
Why don't you just leave the politics
to the gals with the loaded guns?
84
00:06:48,324 --> 00:06:50,117
-Yes, ma'am.
-Okay.
85
00:06:52,912 --> 00:06:54,663
Thank you.
86
00:06:55,832 --> 00:06:57,374
The wedding's in three months...
87
00:06:57,542 --> 00:07:00,627
...and we just wanna iron out some kinks
before the big day.
88
00:07:00,795 --> 00:07:04,339
Oh, but don't get me wrong,
William and l are fine. Best friends, really.
89
00:07:04,799 --> 00:07:09,344
I think the most important thing
in a relationship is honesty.
90
00:07:09,846 --> 00:07:11,680
Well, we have a motto, doc, don't we?
91
00:07:12,140 --> 00:07:14,141
-No secrets.
-No secrets.
92
00:07:17,937 --> 00:07:20,147
Honey, l'm home.
93
00:07:20,898 --> 00:07:22,983
I brought dinner.
94
00:07:25,862 --> 00:07:27,404
Honey?
95
00:07:27,864 --> 00:07:29,948
[SOBBlNG]
96
00:07:30,116 --> 00:07:32,826
Honey. lt should've been me.
97
00:07:36,038 --> 00:07:37,789
Honey.
98
00:07:38,541 --> 00:07:40,292
Friend.
99
00:07:41,002 --> 00:07:42,043
Soul mate.
100
00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:45,839
Always loyal.
101
00:07:47,133 --> 00:07:49,092
Often hilarious.
102
00:07:49,260 --> 00:07:54,139
We dedicate this
"make your own pizza" party to you.
103
00:07:56,392 --> 00:07:59,728
The first in 12 years you didn't attend.
104
00:08:02,023 --> 00:08:04,399
This is really hard.
105
00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:07,736
Rest in peace, girlfriend.
106
00:08:07,904 --> 00:08:09,404
See you on the other side.
107
00:08:10,823 --> 00:08:13,033
Now let's make some pizza.
108
00:08:13,201 --> 00:08:14,993
JUDl: Mini pepperonis?
BECKY: Mm-hm.
109
00:08:15,161 --> 00:08:16,870
GAYLE:
No cheese for me. I'm off dairy.
110
00:08:17,038 --> 00:08:19,372
You don't have to go off anything.
You look great.
111
00:08:19,540 --> 00:08:22,375
Yeah. l'm not attractive enough
for a blind man.
112
00:08:22,543 --> 00:08:25,670
We need to discuss if we're still
going on our road trip next week.
113
00:08:25,838 --> 00:08:27,005
Maybe it's too soon.
114
00:08:27,798 --> 00:08:29,508
She would want life to go on.
115
00:08:30,426 --> 00:08:31,885
You're right.
116
00:08:32,053 --> 00:08:34,846
Honey loved hearing about our trips.
117
00:08:35,014 --> 00:08:38,433
I remember sitting on that sofa
and telling her about every adventure.
118
00:08:39,227 --> 00:08:41,269
Oh, the way she laughed.
119
00:08:41,437 --> 00:08:42,938
Oh.
120
00:08:44,273 --> 00:08:45,732
BECKY:
Energy becomes energy.
121
00:08:46,359 --> 00:08:47,734
I think we should go on the trip.
122
00:08:47,902 --> 00:08:49,152
Yay.
123
00:08:49,320 --> 00:08:51,780
Because, you guys,
I have a real treat planned for us.
124
00:08:51,948 --> 00:08:56,910
We are going to Tempe, Arizona
to the Wimmin's Music Festival.
125
00:08:57,912 --> 00:08:59,871
Please tell me Tracy Chapman
is performing.
126
00:09:00,039 --> 00:09:01,957
She and her "Fast Car" will be there.
127
00:09:02,124 --> 00:09:03,124
Oh, my goddess.
128
00:09:03,292 --> 00:09:04,501
[GAYLE LAUGHS]
129
00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:07,420
Gayle, what's wrong?
130
00:09:07,588 --> 00:09:10,131
-You love women-centered folk music.
-l do.
131
00:09:10,299 --> 00:09:14,803
I know. I just-- l wish we could go
somewhere more fun, you know.
132
00:09:14,971 --> 00:09:17,138
So, like, we could be more fun.
133
00:09:17,306 --> 00:09:18,473
We're fun.
134
00:09:18,641 --> 00:09:21,476
Tell me that our yearly Americana road trip
isn't fun.
135
00:09:21,644 --> 00:09:24,354
-Yeah, or at-home karaoke Fridays.
-Yeah.
136
00:09:24,522 --> 00:09:26,022
Or the Movie Numbers Game.
137
00:09:26,190 --> 00:09:28,066
Hon, you love the Movie Numbers Game.
138
00:09:28,234 --> 00:09:30,068
-l do love that game.
JUDl: You go first.
139
00:09:30,236 --> 00:09:34,114
-Name a movie, one to 1 0, go.
-One Crazy Summer.
140
00:09:34,282 --> 00:09:36,074
-Two of a Kind.
-Three to Tango.
141
00:09:36,242 --> 00:09:38,243
-Four Weddings and a Funeral.
-Five Easy Pieces.
142
00:09:38,411 --> 00:09:40,787
-Six Days and Seven Nights.
-Ooh. A double.
143
00:09:40,955 --> 00:09:44,499
-8 Mile.
-The erotic Nine and a Half Weeks.
144
00:09:44,667 --> 00:09:46,167
And 10. We did it.
145
00:09:46,335 --> 00:09:48,295
[ALL LAUGHING]
146
00:09:50,923 --> 00:09:54,175
-See? We're pretty fun.
-Yeah, we are.
147
00:09:54,427 --> 00:09:57,971
Again, Vice President Lawrence Kenner
has resigned.
148
00:09:58,139 --> 00:10:01,516
The disgraced politician remains
in an undisclosed location...
149
00:10:01,684 --> 00:10:05,520
...a day after he was caught in
a motel room with two underage girls.
150
00:10:05,688 --> 00:10:07,856
-He said he loved me.
-You liar!
151
00:10:08,024 --> 00:10:09,357
MAN [ON TV]:
The presi--
152
00:10:09,525 --> 00:10:13,695
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
I love me's a scandal.
153
00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:18,283
Well, the president
will be making his selection...
154
00:10:18,451 --> 00:10:19,868
...at the end of the week.
155
00:10:20,036 --> 00:10:22,787
And guess who's at the top of his list.
156
00:10:23,331 --> 00:10:24,873
That's right, Mama.
157
00:10:25,041 --> 00:10:27,042
Mama's at the top of that list.
158
00:10:27,209 --> 00:10:29,252
They're gonna want someone
squeaky clean.
159
00:10:29,420 --> 00:10:31,630
They'll comb through
every part of your life.
160
00:10:31,797 --> 00:10:36,134
I'm spotless. l already deported
the maid, and my husband's impotent.
161
00:10:36,677 --> 00:10:38,219
What about your daughter, Ashley?
162
00:10:38,387 --> 00:10:41,640
But we were Lancelot and Guinevere
of the medieval feast last year.
163
00:10:41,807 --> 00:10:43,266
[SINGlNG]
164
00:10:43,434 --> 00:10:45,018
Not now, Trevor.
165
00:10:45,186 --> 00:10:48,229
Ashley, we want different things.
166
00:10:48,397 --> 00:10:50,899
Since I got my braces off
and that mole removed...
167
00:10:51,067 --> 00:10:53,652
...l realized it's time for me to move on.
168
00:10:54,695 --> 00:10:57,572
-None of the medieval freaks even work out.
WOMAN 1 : Hey, Doug.
169
00:10:57,740 --> 00:11:00,575
Stop talking to that fugly face
and get over here.
170
00:11:00,743 --> 00:11:03,078
WOMAN 2: Support our spring break.
-Buy a cookie.
171
00:11:03,245 --> 00:11:07,874
All proceeds will support binge drinking,
promiscuity and public nudity.
172
00:11:08,042 --> 00:11:09,334
WOMAN 2:
South Padre.
173
00:11:09,502 --> 00:11:12,212
[SCREAMlNG]
174
00:11:12,922 --> 00:11:14,255
It's senior spring, Ash.
175
00:11:14,715 --> 00:11:17,759
They're trying to be your friend
because your dad owns Six Flags.
176
00:11:17,927 --> 00:11:19,427
Maybe so, but they're fun.
177
00:11:20,179 --> 00:11:23,223
-And I wanna be with a girl who parties.
-l can be that girl.
178
00:11:24,350 --> 00:11:27,686
I can.
I could be a right, fine saucy wench.
179
00:11:27,853 --> 00:11:30,063
-l can be saucy.
-Ashley.
180
00:11:31,023 --> 00:11:32,232
You'll never be that girl.
181
00:11:34,026 --> 00:11:36,236
Hey, Mason, wait up.
182
00:11:41,033 --> 00:11:44,327
-What's so great about them?
-Forget Doug, Ashley.
183
00:11:44,495 --> 00:11:48,164
Let him and those frat gorillas
go on their stupid spring break.
184
00:11:49,583 --> 00:11:50,917
I hate his fake face.
185
00:11:51,085 --> 00:11:52,711
[PHONE CHIMES]
186
00:11:53,671 --> 00:11:55,213
One second.
187
00:11:55,381 --> 00:11:57,465
-Hey, Mama.
-Hey, baby.
188
00:11:57,633 --> 00:12:00,301
What's up with my little rock star?
189
00:12:00,469 --> 00:12:03,096
I think someone's
got a spring break coming up.
190
00:12:03,472 --> 00:12:05,306
Yeah, it's next week.
191
00:12:05,474 --> 00:12:07,267
Oh, no.
192
00:12:07,435 --> 00:12:10,478
Where's your crazy sorority
off to this year?
193
00:12:12,815 --> 00:12:15,191
South Padre.
194
00:12:15,651 --> 00:12:17,902
Where the Padre never stops.
195
00:12:18,070 --> 00:12:21,114
Oh, baby, you are my pride and joy.
196
00:12:21,282 --> 00:12:23,908
Now, you be good
and make safe choices.
197
00:12:24,076 --> 00:12:26,369
-Okay, bye.
-Bye-bye, baby.
198
00:12:29,373 --> 00:12:31,332
What? Don't want her
to be disappointed.
199
00:12:31,667 --> 00:12:34,002
She has this image about me.
200
00:12:34,170 --> 00:12:36,796
You know,
you've really gotta stop lying to her.
201
00:12:37,214 --> 00:12:41,176
You know what, miladies?
You're right, the lying stops here.
202
00:12:41,343 --> 00:12:43,178
I am going to South Padre.
203
00:12:43,345 --> 00:12:46,014
I'm gonna prove to Douglas
that inside this fair maiden...
204
00:12:46,182 --> 00:12:48,349
...lies the heart of a wanton trollop.
205
00:12:48,517 --> 00:12:50,518
He's gonna want me back.
206
00:12:51,771 --> 00:12:55,190
My baby girl is just like
her mother was back in the day.
207
00:12:55,357 --> 00:12:57,776
She's the most popular girl
in her sorority...
208
00:12:57,943 --> 00:13:01,988
...smart as a whip
and always up for a good time.
209
00:13:02,990 --> 00:13:05,241
If the press catches her acting out,
you're sunk.
210
00:13:05,409 --> 00:13:10,413
-lt'll be Bush twins, the sequel.
-lt's just spring break, y'all.
211
00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:12,874
[ROCK MUSlC PLAYlNG]
212
00:13:13,042 --> 00:13:15,210
[WOMEN SCREAMlNG]
213
00:13:15,878 --> 00:13:18,713
HARTMANN:
Somebody impregnate me!
214
00:13:21,217 --> 00:13:23,134
I guess we better send someone down...
215
00:13:23,302 --> 00:13:25,970
...to South Padre Island
to keep an eye on that girl.
216
00:13:26,138 --> 00:13:30,391
And l need someone who's responsible,
but young enough to pass.
217
00:13:35,272 --> 00:13:36,356
Betty.
218
00:13:36,524 --> 00:13:39,234
-You're going to spring break, girl.
-l am?
219
00:13:39,944 --> 00:13:43,238
You're gonna stay
on my daughter, Ashley, 24/7.
220
00:13:43,405 --> 00:13:46,407
You'll keep her under the radar
for the five days she's there.
221
00:13:46,742 --> 00:13:50,036
Now, don't you tell her l sent you
because we mostly trust each other.
222
00:13:50,371 --> 00:13:51,746
I am so on it.
223
00:13:51,914 --> 00:13:55,583
All right, girl, it's time for you to show me
those huge hairy nuts you got...
224
00:13:55,751 --> 00:13:57,585
...hidden down there.
225
00:14:22,069 --> 00:14:24,279
[SOFT MUSlC PLAYS
OVER SPEAKERS]
226
00:14:24,446 --> 00:14:27,448
Pappy, Pappy.
227
00:14:30,035 --> 00:14:32,704
Hello? Sweetheart.
228
00:14:32,872 --> 00:14:35,748
The invites came in.
They look really good.
229
00:14:35,916 --> 00:14:38,293
-You've gotta see. They look--
-Ooh!
230
00:14:39,044 --> 00:14:42,046
Will-- William? Juan Carlos?
231
00:14:42,506 --> 00:14:44,257
I'm sorry.
232
00:14:46,594 --> 00:14:50,430
-l thought you were teaching a class.
-Yeah, class canceled.
233
00:14:51,098 --> 00:14:55,810
William, are you sure
that we have no secrets?
234
00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:58,438
-Okay, the truth?
-Yeah.
235
00:14:58,606 --> 00:15:01,816
I'm not liking your "implicaish," okay?
You don't trust me?
236
00:15:01,984 --> 00:15:05,236
-Then l'm really "sorr," but wedding off.
-You're breaking up with me?
237
00:15:05,404 --> 00:15:07,739
Leave me alone!
You're giving me a nervy break-D.
238
00:15:07,907 --> 00:15:09,073
What--?
239
00:15:09,241 --> 00:15:10,325
[SOBBlNG]
240
00:15:10,492 --> 00:15:12,327
I mean, do you really think he's gay?
241
00:15:12,494 --> 00:15:16,539
I mean, it's not like every straight guy
is into football, right?
242
00:15:16,707 --> 00:15:18,207
I mean--
243
00:15:18,375 --> 00:15:19,918
I don't know, maybe it's me.
244
00:15:20,085 --> 00:15:21,586
Maybe if l only had--
245
00:15:22,338 --> 00:15:23,421
A penis?
246
00:15:27,009 --> 00:15:29,844
I just wanna be married.
247
00:15:31,221 --> 00:15:33,765
Judi, forget about him, okay?
248
00:15:33,933 --> 00:15:36,309
We're going on vacation.
249
00:15:36,477 --> 00:15:38,645
I can't go with you guys.
250
00:15:39,647 --> 00:15:41,356
-What?
-What?
251
00:15:41,523 --> 00:15:45,109
Today the senator handpicked me
for an important mission.
252
00:15:45,694 --> 00:15:50,198
She's sending me on a spring break
to watch over her daughter, a wild child...
253
00:15:50,366 --> 00:15:54,035
...and to possibly transform her
into being a better human being.
254
00:15:55,204 --> 00:15:58,289
-Did you just say "spring break"?
-l know, it's crazy, right?
255
00:15:58,457 --> 00:16:01,542
Wow, you get to do college
all over again?
256
00:16:01,710 --> 00:16:04,212
-You're really lucky.
-lt's a real opportunity.
257
00:16:06,048 --> 00:16:08,549
Do you guys remember college?
258
00:16:09,677 --> 00:16:12,637
BECKY [CHANTlNG]: No more blood for oil.
We must stop this unjust war.
259
00:16:12,805 --> 00:16:15,515
No more blood for oil.
We must--
260
00:16:19,895 --> 00:16:21,562
Hey. Hold on one second.
261
00:16:22,940 --> 00:16:24,732
JUDl:
No, no, no. No.
262
00:16:28,779 --> 00:16:32,824
Bigtime congrats to the following
new Kappa Mu Delta sisters.
263
00:16:33,325 --> 00:16:36,411
So when you hear your name,
come on up and join us.
264
00:16:36,578 --> 00:16:39,497
Marcy. Ayala.
265
00:16:40,249 --> 00:16:41,833
Jo Lynn.
266
00:16:42,418 --> 00:16:43,418
Laurie.
267
00:16:43,585 --> 00:16:46,421
And Claire.
268
00:16:46,964 --> 00:16:48,423
Everyone else, thank you.
269
00:16:53,679 --> 00:16:54,971
Ew.
270
00:16:57,808 --> 00:16:59,851
College was rough.
271
00:17:00,019 --> 00:17:03,104
It was a learning experience.
272
00:17:05,149 --> 00:17:07,442
I wanna go with you, Becky.
273
00:17:07,609 --> 00:17:09,694
-Where?
-To spring break.
274
00:17:09,862 --> 00:17:11,112
You do?
275
00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:14,240
Let's go.
We never went to spring break in college.
276
00:17:14,408 --> 00:17:16,951
I'll trade in my first-class tickets
for three coaches.
277
00:17:17,244 --> 00:17:19,454
-And I have a suite at the Four Seasons.
-Yeah.
278
00:17:19,621 --> 00:17:23,207
-l've never stayed at a Four Seasons.
-This is the kind of vacation we need.
279
00:17:23,375 --> 00:17:25,793
-We do need to shake things up a little bit.
-Wait.
280
00:17:25,961 --> 00:17:27,628
What would Honey want us to do?
281
00:17:27,796 --> 00:17:29,422
Hey, Becky.
282
00:17:30,257 --> 00:17:31,799
You really need to bury that cat.
283
00:18:04,917 --> 00:18:06,334
[WOMAN SCREAMS]
284
00:18:08,003 --> 00:18:10,463
Get it together.
285
00:18:11,006 --> 00:18:12,006
[GLASS SHATTERlNG]
286
00:18:12,174 --> 00:18:13,674
MAN 1 :
That's what l'm talking about!
287
00:18:13,842 --> 00:18:16,177
MAN 2:
Let's have sex.
288
00:18:16,345 --> 00:18:17,637
This is terrific.
289
00:18:17,805 --> 00:18:19,180
It's repulsive.
290
00:18:21,350 --> 00:18:24,102
BECKY:
"The 4 Seasones"?
291
00:18:25,145 --> 00:18:27,230
We're gonna get date-raped in there.
292
00:18:27,397 --> 00:18:29,982
-You think?
-Judi.
293
00:18:32,903 --> 00:18:33,945
Yeah.
294
00:18:35,781 --> 00:18:37,323
Yoo-hoo, ladies, over here.
295
00:18:37,825 --> 00:18:39,367
Howdy, girls. Yoo-hoo.
296
00:18:39,535 --> 00:18:41,869
Hold up one sec. Mama needs her meds.
297
00:18:42,037 --> 00:18:43,830
You know how it is.
Mm. Mm-mm.
298
00:18:46,041 --> 00:18:48,167
Welcome to The 4 Seasones.
299
00:18:48,335 --> 00:18:49,377
My name is Charlene.
300
00:18:49,545 --> 00:18:51,629
This here is my 1 8th spring break.
301
00:18:51,797 --> 00:18:54,882
Y'all, my hot ass
ain't even half done with the party. Whoo!
302
00:18:56,385 --> 00:18:57,885
Okay.
303
00:18:58,053 --> 00:19:00,096
Checking in.
304
00:19:00,722 --> 00:19:02,056
Becky St. Germaine.
305
00:19:02,224 --> 00:19:05,560
That's right.
I got y'all in a suite on the third floor.
306
00:19:05,727 --> 00:19:07,145
Bathroom's in the hall.
307
00:19:07,312 --> 00:19:10,231
-Wait. One bathroom for the entire floor?
-l'm out of here.
308
00:19:10,399 --> 00:19:16,404
And listen, if l ever catch any of y'all
doing the nasty, y'all know this.
309
00:19:16,947 --> 00:19:18,865
I may just join in. What?
310
00:19:19,032 --> 00:19:21,993
Oh, shit. All right, all right. Y'all get.
311
00:19:22,161 --> 00:19:23,578
Y'all get and party.
312
00:19:23,745 --> 00:19:26,873
Get the party started, girls. Whoo!
313
00:19:40,512 --> 00:19:43,055
This place is dog balls.
314
00:19:43,974 --> 00:19:46,392
BECKY: It has a lot of character.
-l kind of smell pee.
315
00:19:47,102 --> 00:19:48,936
This is a suite?
316
00:19:49,104 --> 00:19:51,689
Let me just grab this towel to wipe--
317
00:19:52,274 --> 00:19:53,482
Ew.
318
00:19:55,277 --> 00:19:59,405
Judi, the bedspread is
the filthiest part of the entire room.
319
00:19:59,573 --> 00:20:03,117
Oh, that's right, that's right.
I heard that on 20/20.
320
00:20:04,453 --> 00:20:06,078
Oh, no.
321
00:20:07,956 --> 00:20:11,042
Okay. Becky, what's your plan?
322
00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:13,377
Okay, yeah.
323
00:20:16,006 --> 00:20:17,131
This is Ashley.
324
00:20:17,299 --> 00:20:18,966
We find her, we bond.
325
00:20:19,134 --> 00:20:22,595
We insinuate ourselves into her clique
and then we all become best friends.
326
00:20:22,763 --> 00:20:24,472
-Great.
-That's-- That's your plan?
327
00:20:24,765 --> 00:20:25,806
Yes, it is.
328
00:20:25,974 --> 00:20:27,808
According to my lnternet research...
329
00:20:27,976 --> 00:20:31,896
...this club, Chuggers,
is the Studio 54 of South Padre.
330
00:20:32,064 --> 00:20:34,315
GAYLE: We're never gonna get in there.
-Yoo-hoo.
331
00:20:34,483 --> 00:20:36,192
-Hi, hi, hi.
BECKY: Charlene.
332
00:20:36,360 --> 00:20:38,819
-Hey, Charlene. Can you get us in?
-Hey. Hey, hey.
333
00:20:38,987 --> 00:20:42,156
Y'all, l didn't bone that bouncer 46 times
for nothing.
334
00:20:42,324 --> 00:20:45,368
[HlP-HOP MUSIC PLAYS
OVER SPEAKERS]
335
00:20:58,632 --> 00:21:00,508
Let's get Coyote Ugly, y'all.
336
00:21:00,676 --> 00:21:03,427
-Yeah.
-Oh, hey, hey!
337
00:21:04,304 --> 00:21:06,013
Hey. I don't like being picked up.
338
00:21:06,515 --> 00:21:08,516
Put me down. Right here. Becky.
339
00:21:08,684 --> 00:21:10,643
Judi! Gayle!
340
00:21:10,811 --> 00:21:12,353
I need to find my friends.
341
00:21:12,521 --> 00:21:14,814
Tequila. Doubles.
342
00:21:14,982 --> 00:21:18,609
Oh, what white wines
do you have by the glass?
343
00:21:18,777 --> 00:21:21,529
Hey, Miss Fancy Pants,
this ain't the Red Lobster.
344
00:21:22,030 --> 00:21:23,948
Whoo. Here we go.
345
00:21:24,658 --> 00:21:26,367
Hey, I don't touch the hard.
346
00:21:26,535 --> 00:21:28,536
Just drink the damn thing.
347
00:21:33,709 --> 00:21:34,875
How do you drink this?
348
00:21:35,043 --> 00:21:38,087
Honey, l'd drink gasoline
if you put a lime in it.
349
00:21:38,255 --> 00:21:41,382
-Another round.
-Have you seen this--?
350
00:21:43,218 --> 00:21:45,720
WOMAN 1 : No means no.
MAN: Come on, baby.
351
00:21:46,054 --> 00:21:47,305
MAN 2: Come on.
-No touching.
352
00:21:47,472 --> 00:21:49,056
-Just looking.
MAN 2: Come on.
353
00:21:49,224 --> 00:21:51,892
Down, boys. No, drop it.
354
00:21:52,060 --> 00:21:53,394
Up, up.
355
00:21:53,562 --> 00:21:55,563
Here we go. Up, up, up.
356
00:21:55,731 --> 00:21:57,732
Look, look. You want a glowstick?
357
00:21:57,899 --> 00:22:00,234
Go get it. Go get it.
358
00:22:01,570 --> 00:22:03,988
That was incredible.
359
00:22:04,156 --> 00:22:06,032
Men are just dogs with thumbs.
360
00:22:06,199 --> 00:22:08,242
Sit down.
361
00:22:14,833 --> 00:22:16,792
What's your name?
362
00:22:16,960 --> 00:22:19,920
-Gayle.
-l'm Mason and we're the Sevens.
363
00:22:20,088 --> 00:22:24,091
Seven hot chicks in seven pairs
of Seven cutoffjeans.
364
00:22:24,259 --> 00:22:26,052
Ain't nobody fiercer than us.
365
00:22:26,219 --> 00:22:29,013
-My mama thinks I should be a model.
-Yeah.
366
00:22:29,181 --> 00:22:32,850
I look good in real life,
but in pictures l look even better.
367
00:22:33,018 --> 00:22:35,811
WOMAN 2: Flawless.
-Don't you love my hair?
368
00:22:35,979 --> 00:22:37,938
Super fierce.
369
00:22:50,118 --> 00:22:52,328
I'm so sorry, Gayle. l love you.
370
00:22:52,496 --> 00:22:54,121
I love you.
371
00:22:55,540 --> 00:22:57,500
-Gayle!
MASON: l got a lot of dreams.
372
00:22:57,667 --> 00:23:01,128
I'm gonna get this ass on Road Rules,
climb Mt. Everett...
373
00:23:01,463 --> 00:23:05,716
...and start a charity
to give spray tans to the homeless.
374
00:23:06,426 --> 00:23:08,636
-You wanna dance?
-No.
375
00:23:10,097 --> 00:23:12,640
Yes. Yes, l do.
376
00:23:19,856 --> 00:23:23,275
You know what safe sex is?
377
00:23:23,443 --> 00:23:26,862
Dating men who are gay.
378
00:23:28,824 --> 00:23:31,826
But l'm ready to make up for lost time.
379
00:23:48,844 --> 00:23:50,302
You are so sexy.
380
00:23:50,470 --> 00:23:51,846
I know.
381
00:23:52,848 --> 00:23:54,807
Hey, can l join you guys?
382
00:23:54,975 --> 00:23:56,434
I'm game.
383
00:23:56,601 --> 00:23:59,728
One-night stands, threesomes, fourgies.
384
00:23:59,896 --> 00:24:01,856
Hey, it's all good.
385
00:24:02,023 --> 00:24:04,275
Get over here, you dirty little slut.
386
00:24:09,030 --> 00:24:11,574
Sorry. Sorry.
387
00:24:12,451 --> 00:24:13,784
LYDlA:
Don't move. Don't move.
388
00:24:13,952 --> 00:24:15,953
-Ashley.
TRUVY: Hey, Ashley.
389
00:24:16,371 --> 00:24:18,456
-Ashley, come here.
-What? Come here.
390
00:24:18,623 --> 00:24:20,541
TRUVY: Ashley, don't move.
LYDlA: You have to stay.
391
00:24:20,709 --> 00:24:22,835
ASHLEY:
Guys, come down here.
392
00:24:23,003 --> 00:24:25,629
I had this girl all wrong.
393
00:24:25,797 --> 00:24:28,757
There's nothing ordinary about her.
394
00:24:28,925 --> 00:24:30,718
And if she'll say yes...
395
00:24:30,886 --> 00:24:34,597
...l would love for her
to be my new chief of staff.
396
00:24:34,764 --> 00:24:36,348
What do you say?
397
00:24:36,516 --> 00:24:39,768
Hybrid cars for everyone.
398
00:24:41,897 --> 00:24:44,565
Excuse me. Ashley, we have totally
gotta get out of here.
399
00:24:44,733 --> 00:24:47,234
-Truvy is having an asthma attack.
-There he is.
400
00:24:47,402 --> 00:24:48,694
Ashley.
401
00:24:56,161 --> 00:24:57,828
Find Judi. We gotta get out of here.
402
00:24:57,996 --> 00:25:00,080
-Hi, Becky.
-No, we gotta get out of here.
403
00:25:04,878 --> 00:25:06,086
Surprise.
404
00:25:07,339 --> 00:25:09,131
Ashley.
405
00:25:09,716 --> 00:25:11,842
-What are you doing here?
-Getting jiggy.
406
00:25:12,135 --> 00:25:15,054
I'm about to puke
and, like, not on purpose.
407
00:25:15,388 --> 00:25:17,097
Why don't you just leave me alone?
408
00:25:17,265 --> 00:25:20,267
Because I ain't nice.
409
00:25:26,107 --> 00:25:28,776
That girl has been torturing me
since freshman year.
410
00:25:28,944 --> 00:25:32,780
-The worst roommate matchup ever.
-l have a moist towelette.
411
00:25:33,156 --> 00:25:35,449
-Thank you.
-Are you okay?
412
00:25:35,617 --> 00:25:37,743
Her ex-boyfriend has lost his mind.
413
00:25:37,911 --> 00:25:40,913
You know what? lf Doug wants trash,
I'm gonna give him trash.
414
00:25:41,081 --> 00:25:42,414
What does that mean exactly?
415
00:25:42,582 --> 00:25:45,918
It means tomorrow we're going
to the beach to act like total idiots.
416
00:25:46,086 --> 00:25:47,670
I'm sorry, who are you?
417
00:25:47,837 --> 00:25:50,464
I'm Becky St. Germaine.
418
00:25:50,632 --> 00:25:51,966
I'm a college student.
419
00:25:53,969 --> 00:25:55,636
A grad student, and you?
420
00:25:56,304 --> 00:25:59,431
-Lydia, Truvy and Ashley.
JUDl: Whoo! Whoo!
421
00:25:59,599 --> 00:26:01,267
I'm gonna be a slut.
422
00:26:01,434 --> 00:26:04,103
-A slut. l'm gonna be a slut.
-Becky.
423
00:26:04,271 --> 00:26:07,064
You guys horny too?
Who's horny? You?
424
00:26:07,232 --> 00:26:08,774
I hate it here, Ashley.
425
00:26:08,942 --> 00:26:10,234
Oh, that's Ashley.
426
00:26:10,402 --> 00:26:11,986
Take me home, l need to barf.
427
00:26:12,153 --> 00:26:13,696
-l need to barf.
-Okay.
428
00:26:13,863 --> 00:26:15,823
-Whose shoe is this?
GAYLE: It's your shoe, Judi.
429
00:26:15,991 --> 00:26:17,783
JUDl: That's bullshit.
-All right.
430
00:26:17,951 --> 00:26:19,410
JUDl:
Who wants to do me?
431
00:26:25,375 --> 00:26:27,293
BECKY:
Hey, you guys.
432
00:26:27,460 --> 00:26:29,670
The special today is huevos rancheros.
433
00:26:29,838 --> 00:26:31,547
Yum.
434
00:26:31,715 --> 00:26:34,174
-Just coffee for me. Thank you.
JUDl: Yeah, me too.
435
00:26:34,342 --> 00:26:36,176
Oh, Judi, are you okay?
436
00:26:36,344 --> 00:26:40,472
Well, it's just huevos rancheros
always reminds me of William.
437
00:26:41,016 --> 00:26:43,851
Because he went down
on that Hispanic guy?
438
00:26:45,061 --> 00:26:47,271
No, because it was our Sunday tradition.
439
00:26:47,439 --> 00:26:50,232
All right.
Judi, you're here to forget about him.
440
00:26:50,400 --> 00:26:52,151
Maybe you should eat something.
441
00:26:52,319 --> 00:26:55,863
No, thanks. The thought of food
makes me wanna seriously chunder.
442
00:26:56,031 --> 00:26:59,366
-Chunder?
-Oh, yeah, it means to vomit.
443
00:26:59,534 --> 00:27:02,202
This place is opening up
a whole new world for me.
444
00:27:02,370 --> 00:27:03,495
You know what l learned?
445
00:27:03,663 --> 00:27:07,541
That the roll of fat that hangs
over the jean is called a muffin top.
446
00:27:09,377 --> 00:27:12,463
Our trips are not only fun
but educational.
447
00:27:12,631 --> 00:27:15,215
Are we excited about
going to the beach today?
448
00:27:15,383 --> 00:27:17,676
That sounds perfect. l just wanna relax.
449
00:27:17,844 --> 00:27:20,638
I just wanna stretch out
with a good book, you know?
450
00:27:23,933 --> 00:27:26,560
[PEOPLE YELLlNG INDlSTlNCTLY]
451
00:27:49,584 --> 00:27:52,044
PEOPLE [CHANTlNG]:
Go, go, go.
452
00:27:57,592 --> 00:27:59,259
Whoo! Keg stands, y'all.
453
00:27:59,427 --> 00:28:01,011
Judi, let me flip and tap you.
454
00:28:01,179 --> 00:28:03,055
-l don't understand.
CHARLENE: Get over here.
455
00:28:04,057 --> 00:28:07,351
All's you gotta do is drink,
but don't let it get up your nose...
456
00:28:07,519 --> 00:28:08,560
...because that hurts.
457
00:28:08,728 --> 00:28:10,104
-Let her rip.
-Gayle.
458
00:28:10,563 --> 00:28:11,772
It's our protector.
459
00:28:13,191 --> 00:28:16,485
-Why are you dressed like that?
-Oh, is it too revealing?
460
00:28:16,653 --> 00:28:18,946
-You look like my nana.
-Thank you.
461
00:28:19,114 --> 00:28:20,155
Come with us.
462
00:28:20,323 --> 00:28:22,408
PEOPLE [CHANTlNG]:
Chug, chug, chug.
463
00:28:23,952 --> 00:28:25,536
I'm gonna go look for Ashley.
464
00:28:31,459 --> 00:28:32,751
I did it! Let's go again!
465
00:28:37,257 --> 00:28:38,507
WOMAN:
That's better.
466
00:28:38,800 --> 00:28:40,134
Girl, welcome.
467
00:28:41,803 --> 00:28:43,470
Your abs ain't that bad, by the way.
468
00:28:44,139 --> 00:28:46,140
Oh, my God, thank you.
469
00:28:49,185 --> 00:28:50,561
Why do you litter?
470
00:29:00,864 --> 00:29:02,990
This place is so weird.
471
00:29:05,827 --> 00:29:09,955
Whoo! l wanna see some balls.
472
00:29:10,123 --> 00:29:11,623
What?
473
00:29:17,338 --> 00:29:21,091
MASON: A talent show.
-Do you guys have any talents?
474
00:29:21,259 --> 00:29:23,927
-l can put my tongue in my nose.
-l have no gag reflex.
475
00:29:26,723 --> 00:29:28,390
We are so gonna win this.
476
00:29:28,558 --> 00:29:31,852
Everyone knows
you can't spell talent without T and A.
477
00:29:32,520 --> 00:29:33,520
Okay, listen up.
478
00:29:33,688 --> 00:29:36,273
The winner gets 1 50 drink tickets...
479
00:29:36,441 --> 00:29:41,528
...a group day of beauty at Texas Tan
and 1 2 bottle-opener keychains.
480
00:29:41,696 --> 00:29:43,489
Oh, my God.
481
00:29:43,656 --> 00:29:44,865
That's the prize?
482
00:29:45,533 --> 00:29:47,201
Gayle, you be the coach.
483
00:29:47,368 --> 00:29:49,328
Oh, no, no, no. l just coach dogs.
484
00:29:49,496 --> 00:29:51,497
And we're the Bad News Beyotches.
485
00:29:51,873 --> 00:29:53,624
Check up on this.
486
00:29:54,542 --> 00:29:57,044
[DANCE MUSlC PLAYS
OVER STEREO]
487
00:30:03,885 --> 00:30:05,052
[BLOWS WHlSTLE]
488
00:30:05,220 --> 00:30:07,137
Here's what l want. Give me two lines.
489
00:30:07,889 --> 00:30:10,349
You-- Okay, Mason in front.
Now, heads up.
490
00:30:10,767 --> 00:30:13,393
Tails back, boobs out, stomachs in.
491
00:30:13,812 --> 00:30:17,064
And give me four booty roundabouts
in unison...
492
00:30:17,440 --> 00:30:19,399
...with extra butt-cheek vibration.
493
00:30:19,567 --> 00:30:20,734
Go.
494
00:30:27,242 --> 00:30:29,576
Whoo! l love it.
495
00:30:29,744 --> 00:30:32,913
I love it a lot. Again.
496
00:30:33,248 --> 00:30:34,706
Yeah!
497
00:30:45,760 --> 00:30:47,719
-You.
-Can l keep my T-shirt on?
498
00:30:48,054 --> 00:30:49,263
-Whatever.
-Okay.
499
00:30:49,597 --> 00:30:51,473
Oh, God!
500
00:30:54,769 --> 00:30:57,187
-Two against one, that's not fair.
-You're right.
501
00:30:58,606 --> 00:31:00,232
Yeah.
502
00:31:01,901 --> 00:31:03,735
I'm allergic to tomatoes.
503
00:31:15,415 --> 00:31:18,000
That girl's gone bonkers.
504
00:31:24,716 --> 00:31:26,925
Excuse me. Excuse me. Let me through.
505
00:31:27,093 --> 00:31:28,802
Kill, kill, kill.
506
00:31:41,900 --> 00:31:44,818
This is really degrading to women.
507
00:31:45,445 --> 00:31:47,029
Really.
508
00:31:49,073 --> 00:31:52,159
Why would anyone
wanna wrestle in salsa?
509
00:31:52,660 --> 00:31:55,078
We're human beings, we're not tacos.
510
00:31:59,125 --> 00:32:01,001
Listen, l understand what you're feeling.
511
00:32:01,502 --> 00:32:03,337
I too have recently suffered a loss.
512
00:32:03,504 --> 00:32:06,506
-Your boyfriend dump you too?
-No, my cat died.
513
00:32:08,009 --> 00:32:11,053
And l know that the language
of letting go is not in that salsa.
514
00:32:11,220 --> 00:32:12,638
Right.
515
00:32:13,389 --> 00:32:15,182
-Body shots?
BECKY: No.
516
00:32:15,350 --> 00:32:17,768
I'm talking about releasing
the spirit of fun...
517
00:32:18,519 --> 00:32:20,520
...without the display of public nudity.
518
00:32:21,064 --> 00:32:25,525
I'm talking about enjoying ourselves
in a real and meaningful way.
519
00:32:25,693 --> 00:32:29,196
I'm talking about
girls really going bonkers.
520
00:32:29,739 --> 00:32:31,365
I don't get it.
521
00:32:45,296 --> 00:32:46,713
[CROWD GROANS]
522
00:32:48,508 --> 00:32:51,218
Look at us all laughing.
523
00:32:57,809 --> 00:33:00,477
See? We don't have to be like everyone else
to have fun.
524
00:33:00,645 --> 00:33:01,937
Everyone else?
525
00:33:02,105 --> 00:33:04,356
Burnouts, wastoids and sluts.
526
00:33:04,774 --> 00:33:07,693
[SINGlNG "SlNCE U BEEN GONE"]
527
00:33:17,996 --> 00:33:19,579
I freaking love you.
528
00:33:19,747 --> 00:33:23,291
No, I freaking love you.
529
00:33:23,459 --> 00:33:25,752
Hey, you guys,
let's tell each other our secrets.
530
00:33:25,920 --> 00:33:27,004
Yeah.
531
00:33:27,171 --> 00:33:28,255
I can't read.
532
00:33:30,925 --> 00:33:34,052
I have sex with my uncle
every Thanksgiving.
533
00:33:36,597 --> 00:33:41,601
You're gonna have to deal with that later.
You're gonna have to deal with that later.
534
00:34:25,480 --> 00:34:27,481
JUDl:
Good night, ladies.
535
00:34:43,539 --> 00:34:48,043
Oh, my God.
536
00:35:20,868 --> 00:35:22,494
Total walk of shame.
537
00:35:23,287 --> 00:35:26,289
Yeah, you're damn right
it's a walk of shame.
538
00:35:26,457 --> 00:35:30,418
Because I just got me some, beyotch.
539
00:35:36,008 --> 00:35:39,678
-Where have you been?
-Oh, Mason and l passed out on the beach.
540
00:35:40,555 --> 00:35:42,180
Ladies.
541
00:35:42,348 --> 00:35:43,765
Where have you been?
542
00:35:43,933 --> 00:35:45,809
I had sex...
543
00:35:45,977 --> 00:35:49,604
...with a straight guy.
Yeah, you heard.
544
00:35:50,231 --> 00:35:52,524
One, two, three, snap.
545
00:35:52,692 --> 00:35:54,693
Have you two gone cuckoo-bananas?
546
00:35:54,861 --> 00:35:59,072
Becky, please.
Your voice is like daggers in my skull.
547
00:35:59,240 --> 00:36:01,992
I was worried sick about the both--
548
00:36:02,285 --> 00:36:03,493
You had sex?
549
00:36:05,538 --> 00:36:07,873
Got freaky all night.
550
00:36:08,040 --> 00:36:09,249
Tell us everything.
551
00:36:09,417 --> 00:36:12,836
Okay, well, l don't remember much,
but I know it was amazing.
552
00:36:13,004 --> 00:36:15,005
We had a really special connection.
553
00:36:15,173 --> 00:36:16,506
You guys...
554
00:36:16,674 --> 00:36:19,759
...l've never felt this way before.
555
00:36:20,595 --> 00:36:23,054
GAYLE:
What's his name?
556
00:36:23,931 --> 00:36:26,016
I don't know.
557
00:36:26,767 --> 00:36:30,395
I can't believe you had sex.
558
00:36:30,980 --> 00:36:32,647
Was it meaningful?
559
00:36:32,815 --> 00:36:34,774
Oh, you guys, he's really special.
560
00:36:34,942 --> 00:36:36,776
Oh, l can't wait for you to meet him.
561
00:36:36,944 --> 00:36:38,778
This place is incredible.
562
00:36:38,946 --> 00:36:41,615
-l'm gonna throw up again.
-Awesome.
563
00:36:50,958 --> 00:36:52,292
ASHLEY:
And time.
564
00:36:53,794 --> 00:36:56,963
This is so not what I was expecting
when l came to South Padre.
565
00:36:57,131 --> 00:36:59,549
If my mom saw this,
she would totally freak.
566
00:36:59,717 --> 00:37:02,177
-Why?
-Are you kidding me?
567
00:37:02,345 --> 00:37:05,931
My mom was Miss Texas,
valedictorian.
568
00:37:06,098 --> 00:37:08,808
Now one of the most powerful women
in Washington.
569
00:37:09,185 --> 00:37:10,560
Ain't easy being me.
570
00:37:10,978 --> 00:37:12,729
She sounds like a real piece of work.
571
00:37:12,897 --> 00:37:14,773
They call her "The Hatchet."
572
00:37:14,941 --> 00:37:16,274
I don't know who you're talking about.
573
00:37:16,442 --> 00:37:17,943
[PHONE RlNGING]
574
00:37:18,653 --> 00:37:21,655
Excuse me, I have to take this.
It's an important call.
575
00:37:21,822 --> 00:37:23,615
Okay.
576
00:37:25,868 --> 00:37:28,036
-Hello.
-Talk to me, Betty.
577
00:37:28,204 --> 00:37:31,539
Ow! Ming Ling, shit.
578
00:37:32,041 --> 00:37:34,334
So my wild horse running you ragged?
579
00:37:34,502 --> 00:37:36,378
[IMITATING DOGS BARKlNG]
580
00:37:36,545 --> 00:37:39,339
-Oh, she's crazy, all right.
-Don't screw this up.
581
00:37:39,507 --> 00:37:41,508
Three more days to keep her safe...
582
00:37:41,676 --> 00:37:45,011
-...and we'll make history.
-Oh, don't you worry, l'm so on it. l--
583
00:37:45,179 --> 00:37:47,138
Hello? Hello?
584
00:37:49,433 --> 00:37:51,851
-Good morning, everybody.
-Morning? It's 5 p.m.
585
00:37:52,019 --> 00:37:54,688
Well, it's morning somewheres.
586
00:37:55,481 --> 00:37:57,148
Gayle, what are you wearing?
587
00:37:57,566 --> 00:37:59,526
My boo loaned it to me. Slamming, huh?
588
00:37:59,694 --> 00:38:00,694
JUDl:
What's going on here?
589
00:38:00,861 --> 00:38:03,154
It's a magazine-soda-pop-
Chex-Mix-pool party.
590
00:38:03,322 --> 00:38:04,698
-Come join us.
-Okay.
591
00:38:04,865 --> 00:38:09,369
Y'all, we got a booze cruise in 1 0
and then the foam party.
592
00:38:09,704 --> 00:38:11,830
-You guys are going to a foam party?
-Oh, yeah.
593
00:38:11,998 --> 00:38:15,125
They fill up a whole club with beer foam.
It's like living in a keg.
594
00:38:15,293 --> 00:38:17,002
Becky, you have to meet the Sevens.
595
00:38:17,169 --> 00:38:19,504
When you hang with them,
you're hot by association.
596
00:38:19,672 --> 00:38:22,549
-You know the Sevens?
-We're kind of like the Eights right now.
597
00:38:22,967 --> 00:38:25,802
-So, shorties, you coming with?
-No way, Jose.
598
00:38:26,721 --> 00:38:31,099
-Sorry, Judi.
-His name was Juan Carlos.
599
00:38:32,268 --> 00:38:33,935
You think maybe I can go with you?
600
00:38:34,103 --> 00:38:37,397
-l have no problem with that.
-Don't you have to be on the list, Gayle?
601
00:38:37,565 --> 00:38:40,233
And isn't that list closed?
602
00:38:42,069 --> 00:38:45,030
Yes, l believe that list is closed, Becky.
603
00:38:45,197 --> 00:38:48,742
Y'all, let's motor.
This ass ain't getting any higher.
604
00:38:48,909 --> 00:38:50,243
Can l get a "what, what?"
605
00:38:50,411 --> 00:38:51,703
Later-hosen.
606
00:38:53,289 --> 00:38:55,915
[KAT DELUNA'S "RUN THE SHOW"
PLAYS OVER SPEAKERS]
607
00:39:04,759 --> 00:39:08,428
Gayle, the Sevens and l have been talking.
Four and Five think you're awesome.
608
00:39:08,596 --> 00:39:12,390
Six and Seven think it'd be better if you
were taller, and Two had no comment.
609
00:39:12,558 --> 00:39:14,100
I'm, like, really stupid.
610
00:39:14,268 --> 00:39:15,268
Oh, it's okay.
611
00:39:15,436 --> 00:39:18,521
And l-- I think you are almost there.
612
00:39:18,689 --> 00:39:20,940
Oh, my God. You guys.
613
00:39:21,859 --> 00:39:23,693
I can't feel my face.
614
00:39:26,280 --> 00:39:27,614
[GLASS SHATTERS]
615
00:39:27,990 --> 00:39:30,950
Oh, my God,
that's the guy from last night.
616
00:39:31,118 --> 00:39:33,828
That is some grade-A baloney pony.
617
00:39:33,996 --> 00:39:35,872
Go talk to him.
618
00:39:39,794 --> 00:39:41,795
See, l told you we'd get in.
619
00:39:41,962 --> 00:39:44,464
Doug's gotta be in here somewhere.
620
00:39:45,007 --> 00:39:46,132
[LYDlA SCREAMS]
621
00:39:46,300 --> 00:39:49,594
Lydia? Lydia!
622
00:39:49,762 --> 00:39:53,264
Lydia!
623
00:39:58,104 --> 00:40:01,064
Hey.
624
00:40:07,530 --> 00:40:09,322
-What's up?
-Nothing.
625
00:40:10,116 --> 00:40:11,825
We cool?
626
00:40:14,620 --> 00:40:16,246
Yeah, yeah.
627
00:40:17,498 --> 00:40:18,832
Hey....
628
00:40:20,292 --> 00:40:21,835
Thank you.
629
00:40:47,486 --> 00:40:48,945
Hi.
630
00:40:57,037 --> 00:40:59,539
All right, maestro.
Let's get this party started.
631
00:40:59,707 --> 00:41:01,124
What's up, suckers?
632
00:41:01,876 --> 00:41:06,004
My name is Gayle
and l'm the party master. Woo, woo.
633
00:41:06,172 --> 00:41:08,214
Do you guys like line dancing?
634
00:41:08,382 --> 00:41:09,466
No.
635
00:41:09,633 --> 00:41:12,552
-Yeah.
-Yeah, that's my girls.
636
00:41:12,928 --> 00:41:14,512
We're gonna get it going tonight.
637
00:41:14,680 --> 00:41:18,725
We're gonna blow your mother-humping
mind with a thing called electric slide.
638
00:41:18,893 --> 00:41:20,727
Maestro.
639
00:41:20,895 --> 00:41:23,897
[THE DEEKOMPRESSORS' "ELECTRIC
BOOGIE" PLAYS OVER SPEAKERS]
640
00:41:24,857 --> 00:41:26,900
Whoo!
641
00:41:27,067 --> 00:41:29,319
That's right. Get it going.
642
00:41:32,031 --> 00:41:33,156
Yeah.
643
00:41:34,074 --> 00:41:36,201
All right. You guys aren't feeling it, huh?
644
00:41:36,368 --> 00:41:37,410
Here's some incentive.
645
00:41:37,578 --> 00:41:39,871
How about you come up
and do the electric slide...
646
00:41:40,039 --> 00:41:41,664
...to get your free keychain.
647
00:41:44,084 --> 00:41:45,585
Give me those damn keychains.
648
00:41:45,753 --> 00:41:48,046
Oh, they really like keychains.
649
00:42:04,063 --> 00:42:05,730
Hey.
650
00:42:10,152 --> 00:42:11,945
Spring break forever!
651
00:42:16,617 --> 00:42:18,660
I'm flying.
652
00:42:18,827 --> 00:42:20,370
Go, go, go.
653
00:42:21,914 --> 00:42:25,458
Girl, you're a Team Seven now.
654
00:42:25,626 --> 00:42:28,294
I'm 35 years old.
655
00:42:29,088 --> 00:42:33,049
I'm flying.
656
00:42:52,361 --> 00:42:54,612
Chug, chug. Chug, chug.
657
00:42:54,780 --> 00:42:57,824
-What time is it?
-Almost dinner.
658
00:43:02,621 --> 00:43:04,998
I must have blacked out again.
659
00:43:05,165 --> 00:43:06,499
Me too.
660
00:43:06,667 --> 00:43:09,252
You guys have been drunk
for three straight days.
661
00:43:09,420 --> 00:43:11,296
Oh, girl, don't hate.
662
00:43:12,423 --> 00:43:13,756
Stop talking like that.
663
00:43:13,924 --> 00:43:17,260
Becky, there's this party tonight,
beer fountains.
664
00:43:17,428 --> 00:43:21,180
It's like the Trevi in Rome but with beer.
665
00:43:21,348 --> 00:43:22,765
You're loaded, Judi.
666
00:43:23,183 --> 00:43:25,184
Roll with us.
667
00:43:25,352 --> 00:43:26,811
What is going on here?
668
00:43:27,229 --> 00:43:29,022
I had sex with a stranger...
669
00:43:29,189 --> 00:43:31,608
...and now we're falling in love.
670
00:43:31,775 --> 00:43:35,403
Yeah, and I mounted
an Abercrombie model.
671
00:43:35,571 --> 00:43:38,031
He was 1 9 years old.
672
00:43:38,198 --> 00:43:39,490
We're different women here.
673
00:43:39,658 --> 00:43:41,826
-Yeah, so come with us.
-Yes.
674
00:43:41,994 --> 00:43:44,621
Oh, wow, my tan is out of control.
675
00:43:46,332 --> 00:43:47,832
I have a job to do.
676
00:43:48,792 --> 00:43:50,209
Your job is done.
677
00:43:50,377 --> 00:43:53,171
Yeah, Ashley's a nerdball.
She ain't making no Page Six.
678
00:43:53,339 --> 00:43:55,381
JUDl:
You're missing your second chance.
679
00:43:55,549 --> 00:43:57,550
Becky, it's not the same without you.
680
00:43:57,718 --> 00:43:58,718
We're a trio.
681
00:43:58,886 --> 00:44:02,555
We're like the Three Musketeers
or Wilson Phillips.
682
00:44:02,723 --> 00:44:04,390
True that.
683
00:44:04,558 --> 00:44:07,769
We've been reborn, Becky.
684
00:44:11,065 --> 00:44:13,149
Holler back, girl.
685
00:44:46,517 --> 00:44:49,477
Ashley. Come on, let us in.
686
00:44:49,645 --> 00:44:51,020
Forget about Doug.
687
00:44:51,188 --> 00:44:53,231
She's been in there all day.
688
00:44:53,399 --> 00:44:55,274
Do you wanna play mahjong?
689
00:44:55,442 --> 00:44:58,069
-Yeah, that's a good idea.
-Yeah, yeah.
690
00:45:00,739 --> 00:45:03,324
No, thank you, ladies.
691
00:45:03,492 --> 00:45:04,659
I'm out.
692
00:45:05,160 --> 00:45:06,786
Hey, Mr. Man.
693
00:45:06,954 --> 00:45:11,290
Get me a shot of anything and whatever
my little friend here wants too.
694
00:45:11,458 --> 00:45:12,750
Yeah, all right.
695
00:45:12,918 --> 00:45:14,919
Me likey when the lady buys.
696
00:45:15,087 --> 00:45:16,838
Well, you know....
697
00:45:17,506 --> 00:45:19,215
[JUDI GASPS]
698
00:45:23,554 --> 00:45:25,138
Down it, wench.
699
00:45:25,305 --> 00:45:27,140
You guys, this game is so boring.
700
00:45:27,307 --> 00:45:29,392
We've been playing it for,
like, two hours.
701
00:45:29,768 --> 00:45:31,394
We don't know any other games.
702
00:45:32,020 --> 00:45:34,313
I know a game.
Let's play the Movie Numbers Game.
703
00:45:34,481 --> 00:45:38,067
It's super fun. You say the titles of movies
that have numbers from one to 1 0.
704
00:45:38,235 --> 00:45:40,319
I'll start.
One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest.
705
00:45:40,487 --> 00:45:41,988
Two Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest.
706
00:45:42,156 --> 00:45:44,282
-Numbers what to what?
-One to 1 0.
707
00:45:44,450 --> 00:45:45,992
Hey, I threw up four times today.
708
00:45:46,285 --> 00:45:48,995
-You know, that's very unhealthy.
-So is being fat.
709
00:45:49,163 --> 00:45:52,206
Fat people are nice people, okay?
710
00:45:52,374 --> 00:45:54,667
People are fat for all different reasons.
711
00:45:54,835 --> 00:45:57,128
You have a slow metabolism
or a thyroid problem...
712
00:45:57,296 --> 00:46:00,214
...or you're an adult and
your parents decide to get a divorce.
713
00:46:00,382 --> 00:46:04,469
And you find yourself in your grandma's
laundry room eating brownie mix...
714
00:46:04,636 --> 00:46:05,803
...and crying.
715
00:46:05,971 --> 00:46:08,514
What, are we all supposed
to be the same? That's crazy.
716
00:46:08,682 --> 00:46:11,017
That's just crazy talk.
717
00:46:13,270 --> 00:46:15,104
Gayle.
718
00:46:15,272 --> 00:46:18,983
You are so wise.
You are like a big sister.
719
00:46:19,902 --> 00:46:21,986
Yeah, we are starting
to become like family.
720
00:46:22,154 --> 00:46:23,321
Absolutely.
721
00:46:24,364 --> 00:46:27,992
-Yeah.
-Oh, and you're like the one we adopted.
722
00:46:28,160 --> 00:46:30,077
Aw.
723
00:46:40,547 --> 00:46:43,341
You look just like my R.A.
724
00:46:43,884 --> 00:46:47,887
I haven't been touched by a man
since Clinton was in office.
725
00:46:54,228 --> 00:46:56,270
Hey, I need to talk to you.
726
00:46:56,438 --> 00:46:58,523
Please, I just-- l need-- Just one second.
727
00:46:59,608 --> 00:47:03,236
Look, nothing was gonna happen
with me and that guy over there.
728
00:47:03,403 --> 00:47:06,155
Yeah, you know,
it's really none of my business.
729
00:47:07,074 --> 00:47:10,326
Don't be mad, please.
You've gotta trust me.
730
00:47:11,745 --> 00:47:14,080
I'm just trying to take a leak.
731
00:47:14,248 --> 00:47:15,915
Why are you being so cold?
732
00:47:18,794 --> 00:47:19,877
I don't even know you.
733
00:47:20,462 --> 00:47:24,173
Yeah? Well, l feel like
I don't even know you anymore either.
734
00:47:25,217 --> 00:47:28,177
This is why I'm not a slut.
I just don't have what it takes.
735
00:47:28,846 --> 00:47:31,514
Because when I love, l love hard.
736
00:47:31,682 --> 00:47:34,517
But you, you're just like
every other guy here, right?
737
00:47:34,685 --> 00:47:38,312
Y'all just see me as some piece of ass!
Well, guess what, homeboy...
738
00:47:38,480 --> 00:47:41,524
...l ain't your sex robot.
739
00:47:43,235 --> 00:47:44,944
Move it!
740
00:47:47,406 --> 00:47:51,242
Good Lord, look at that. That is pathetic.
741
00:47:51,410 --> 00:47:53,244
It's like putting lipstick on a turd.
742
00:47:53,412 --> 00:47:56,581
Guys, l have a good idea.
Let's make her over.
743
00:47:56,915 --> 00:47:59,333
You know, it'll be a fun project,
like l was.
744
00:47:59,501 --> 00:48:01,961
Gayle, she is pure nasty.
745
00:48:02,129 --> 00:48:04,630
You, you were a diamond in the rough.
746
00:48:04,798 --> 00:48:06,632
She kind of is too. She's really smart.
747
00:48:06,800 --> 00:48:10,428
And, you know, her mother
might be vice president next week.
748
00:48:11,346 --> 00:48:13,431
She might be famous
and be in magazines.
749
00:48:13,599 --> 00:48:16,976
Oh, my God. Let's make friends.
750
00:48:17,144 --> 00:48:18,936
She could get the Sevens in Us Weekly.
751
00:48:22,316 --> 00:48:25,651
-No, that wasn't why l told--
MASON: Yoo-hoo. Ash. You come here.
752
00:48:25,819 --> 00:48:28,446
Damn, girl, you clean up real nice.
753
00:48:28,614 --> 00:48:30,531
-Yeah, you really like this?
-l do.
754
00:48:30,699 --> 00:48:33,326
-Okay.
-Listen, honey, l am sorry.
755
00:48:33,493 --> 00:48:36,996
I have matured so much this past week.
I am tired of being a jerk.
756
00:48:37,331 --> 00:48:39,957
You and me need a fresh start.
Let me get you a drink.
757
00:48:40,125 --> 00:48:41,292
Hi.
758
00:48:41,460 --> 00:48:43,794
Hey, Ashley,
let's go play a hot game of Scrabble.
759
00:48:43,962 --> 00:48:46,172
I am not liking you that much right now.
760
00:48:46,673 --> 00:48:47,924
Let's chug.
761
00:48:48,091 --> 00:48:49,592
[SCREAMlNG]
762
00:48:50,260 --> 00:48:53,512
Spring break tears people apart.
763
00:48:53,889 --> 00:48:56,349
-What's she doing here?
-Go get Becky.
764
00:48:56,558 --> 00:48:58,184
I said, are you guys ready?
765
00:48:58,352 --> 00:49:01,020
It's time for the wet T-shirt contest.
766
00:49:01,188 --> 00:49:03,356
Ladies, come on up.
767
00:49:07,486 --> 00:49:08,527
All right.
768
00:49:08,695 --> 00:49:09,695
Mason. Mason.
769
00:49:09,863 --> 00:49:12,198
You've gotta enter
the wet T-shirt contest.
770
00:49:12,366 --> 00:49:13,658
Yeah.
771
00:49:15,327 --> 00:49:17,828
What--? What's--? What are--?
What's going on here?
772
00:49:18,497 --> 00:49:19,789
I'm partying.
773
00:49:20,374 --> 00:49:23,542
-You don't party.
-Nor should she. Yay!
774
00:49:23,919 --> 00:49:25,920
Dude, I am a total party girl.
775
00:49:26,088 --> 00:49:27,838
Somebody give me another drink.
776
00:49:28,006 --> 00:49:30,549
-Doug, get us another round.
ASHLEY: Know what? Make that two.
777
00:49:30,717 --> 00:49:33,010
Let's Padre, people!
778
00:49:33,720 --> 00:49:35,805
Ashley, I know you want him back.
779
00:49:36,348 --> 00:49:38,557
Believe me, l am nothing to him.
780
00:49:38,725 --> 00:49:42,061
You gotta jump-start that man.
Give him what he wants.
781
00:49:42,229 --> 00:49:43,980
If you shake it, he will come.
782
00:49:44,147 --> 00:49:48,234
No. No, let's not shake anything.
Whoo!
783
00:49:48,402 --> 00:49:50,319
It's wet T-shirt time.
784
00:49:53,782 --> 00:49:55,992
Ashley, Ashley, Ashley, wait.
785
00:49:56,159 --> 00:49:58,202
Remember your Women's Studies class.
786
00:49:58,370 --> 00:50:00,579
And you remember what team you're on.
787
00:50:00,747 --> 00:50:02,289
Girls, get your cameras.
788
00:50:02,457 --> 00:50:03,958
[WARRANT'S "CHERRY PlE"
PLAYS OVER SPEAKERS]
789
00:50:04,126 --> 00:50:05,543
JUDl:
Hey. Hey.
790
00:50:06,294 --> 00:50:09,630
Ashley's been skanked by the Sevens.
791
00:50:09,798 --> 00:50:12,049
BECKY:
Bye, l'll see you later.
792
00:50:20,726 --> 00:50:22,059
Ashley.
793
00:50:22,227 --> 00:50:25,396
Ashley. Ashley. Down, girl.
794
00:50:28,275 --> 00:50:29,900
Move.
795
00:50:30,110 --> 00:50:31,527
What's happening?
796
00:50:31,695 --> 00:50:34,238
They found out
her mother might be famous.
797
00:50:34,406 --> 00:50:35,614
-Who told her?
-l did.
798
00:50:35,782 --> 00:50:38,117
We tell each other everything,
that's how it works.
799
00:50:38,285 --> 00:50:39,577
-Gayle.
DOUG: Ashley!
800
00:50:40,078 --> 00:50:41,746
That's my girl.
801
00:51:00,599 --> 00:51:03,267
Ashley, you don't have to do this.
802
00:51:03,435 --> 00:51:04,769
You're not a Mason.
803
00:51:04,936 --> 00:51:06,812
I am now.
804
00:51:07,439 --> 00:51:09,148
What would the senator say?
805
00:51:11,318 --> 00:51:13,319
-The senator?
-Yeah, your mother.
806
00:51:13,487 --> 00:51:15,321
My mother?
807
00:51:16,114 --> 00:51:18,032
Your brother.
808
00:51:18,575 --> 00:51:21,118
-She sent you, didn't she?!
-No, no, I--
809
00:51:22,329 --> 00:51:25,164
I should have known
those wrinkles weren't from the sun!
810
00:51:28,752 --> 00:51:31,003
I thought we were friends!
811
00:51:42,557 --> 00:51:44,934
ASHLEY: Put me down.
-l'm sorry, I had to do it.
812
00:51:45,102 --> 00:51:47,686
Judi, Gayle, l'm going to jail.
813
00:51:47,854 --> 00:51:49,188
ASHLEY:
Hey, hey. Let go of me.
814
00:51:49,356 --> 00:51:50,773
[BECKY SlNGlNG
"WE SHALL OVERCOME"]
815
00:51:50,941 --> 00:51:52,024
Hey, hey, hey, be strong. Be strong.
816
00:51:52,192 --> 00:51:54,360
ASHLEY:
Stop singing that song.
817
00:51:55,779 --> 00:51:57,446
Oh, does this mean we have to leave?
818
00:51:57,614 --> 00:51:59,115
Come on.
819
00:51:59,658 --> 00:52:01,617
I don't know.
820
00:52:01,785 --> 00:52:03,702
Oh, my God. Is she dead?
821
00:52:04,246 --> 00:52:06,705
GAYLE:
Okay, l'll deal with this. You go to jail.
822
00:52:07,207 --> 00:52:10,334
This would not be happening
at the Wimmin's Music Festival.
823
00:52:10,836 --> 00:52:12,378
Hi.
824
00:52:12,546 --> 00:52:15,714
Come on, old gal, here we go. All right.
825
00:52:15,882 --> 00:52:19,343
Christina Aguilera,
what are you doing here?
826
00:52:24,057 --> 00:52:26,183
I hate you, Becky.
827
00:52:27,060 --> 00:52:29,687
-l feel really bad.
-l feel like ass.
828
00:52:29,855 --> 00:52:31,021
You smell like ass.
829
00:52:31,940 --> 00:52:33,482
I was just doing my job.
830
00:52:33,650 --> 00:52:35,067
I thought you were my friend.
831
00:52:36,278 --> 00:52:37,903
-l am your friend.
ASHLEY: No, you're not.
832
00:52:38,071 --> 00:52:40,406
You're just a butt-sucking liar.
833
00:52:40,782 --> 00:52:43,325
That sound like Deion, don't it?
834
00:52:43,493 --> 00:52:45,077
You're the one lying to your mom.
835
00:52:45,245 --> 00:52:47,496
Mama-love knows no bounds, honey.
836
00:52:47,664 --> 00:52:49,915
God bless all the mamas.
837
00:52:50,917 --> 00:52:52,251
Look who's talking.
838
00:52:52,752 --> 00:52:54,753
You're the one trying to impress her.
839
00:52:54,921 --> 00:52:58,090
Let me guess.
She told you to grow a pair of nuts.
840
00:52:58,258 --> 00:53:00,009
Oh, l hate that word.
841
00:53:00,177 --> 00:53:02,011
WOMAN:
Yeah, they're nasty.
842
00:53:04,306 --> 00:53:05,764
If you'd just--
843
00:53:05,932 --> 00:53:07,933
If we all accept ourselves...
844
00:53:08,101 --> 00:53:10,561
...the way that we are,
we'll be so much happier.
845
00:53:10,729 --> 00:53:11,729
-Word.
-Amen.
846
00:53:11,897 --> 00:53:13,272
Like you and your friends?
847
00:53:15,358 --> 00:53:19,403
I miss my babies.
848
00:53:19,571 --> 00:53:21,780
[SOBBlNG]
849
00:53:23,658 --> 00:53:25,701
[KNOCKlNG ON DOOR]
850
00:53:32,542 --> 00:53:35,044
First of all, this place is disgust.
851
00:53:35,212 --> 00:53:39,423
Second of all, what are you doing
at spring break anyway?
852
00:53:39,633 --> 00:53:42,635
Catholic school G. l love.
853
00:53:43,845 --> 00:53:45,387
What are you doing here?
854
00:53:46,598 --> 00:53:48,641
I want a second chance.
855
00:53:48,808 --> 00:53:49,975
Come home.
856
00:53:52,312 --> 00:53:55,314
What about your massage?
857
00:53:57,943 --> 00:54:00,694
I love women.
858
00:54:00,862 --> 00:54:05,074
I love their hair, I love their smooth skin.
859
00:54:05,242 --> 00:54:07,993
I'm a huge fan of those.
860
00:54:09,871 --> 00:54:11,789
I really wanna believe that.
861
00:54:12,290 --> 00:54:13,999
Then do.
862
00:54:16,461 --> 00:54:19,255
Look, l need to go.
I have to go bail Becky out ofjail.
863
00:54:19,422 --> 00:54:22,508
-You girls went craze, huh?
-You don't even know.
864
00:54:23,551 --> 00:54:26,845
Jude, the firm dinner's this weekend.
865
00:54:27,013 --> 00:54:28,764
I could really use you by my side.
866
00:54:28,974 --> 00:54:32,768
-Why are you doing this to me?
-Because people can't live alone forever.
867
00:54:32,936 --> 00:54:35,354
Judi, look.
868
00:54:35,522 --> 00:54:36,689
Let's have the wed.
869
00:54:37,357 --> 00:54:42,945
And then after,
we'll have a really nice life "togeth."
870
00:54:45,490 --> 00:54:48,701
Every spring, this place,
she flares up like a cold sore.
871
00:54:48,868 --> 00:54:50,661
And l'm back for more. You know...
872
00:54:50,829 --> 00:54:55,374
...the kids and the sex and the booze,
you think it'll go on forever.
873
00:54:55,542 --> 00:55:01,171
But it's like one of them videos, you know,
of a fireplace that you put on your TV.
874
00:55:01,339 --> 00:55:05,217
And, like, no matter how close
you get to the screen...
875
00:55:05,385 --> 00:55:08,220
...it's never gonna warm you up.
876
00:55:09,597 --> 00:55:13,809
I just wanted to be a stylist to the stars.
877
00:55:13,977 --> 00:55:16,437
-Oh, you still have time.
-Do you think so?
878
00:55:16,604 --> 00:55:18,063
-Yeah.
-You do?
879
00:55:18,231 --> 00:55:19,273
Yeah.
880
00:55:19,441 --> 00:55:21,442
Oh, hello there, fine fellow.
881
00:55:22,402 --> 00:55:24,653
-Who is this?
-Oh, honey, that's a tree.
882
00:55:24,821 --> 00:55:27,531
My name is Charlene.
883
00:55:29,451 --> 00:55:32,202
What are you wearing?
884
00:55:34,080 --> 00:55:35,706
-All right.
-l love him.
885
00:55:35,874 --> 00:55:37,124
-Yeah.
-Don't touch me.
886
00:55:37,292 --> 00:55:39,168
-Okay.
-Please touch me.
887
00:55:39,336 --> 00:55:40,502
-All right.
-Thank you.
888
00:55:40,670 --> 00:55:42,379
Here we go.
889
00:55:42,839 --> 00:55:45,257
-Let's just stay here for a while.
-You got it.
890
00:55:45,425 --> 00:55:46,550
-Okay, all right.
-Okay.
891
00:55:55,852 --> 00:55:58,103
OFFlCER:
All right, ladies, you can go.
892
00:55:59,272 --> 00:56:02,274
-Judi, thank God.
-Thank you.
893
00:56:02,442 --> 00:56:04,651
You guys,
we have a little bit of a problem.
894
00:56:04,819 --> 00:56:05,944
[CHATTERlNG]
895
00:56:06,112 --> 00:56:07,237
[CAMERA SHUTTERS CLICKING]
896
00:56:07,405 --> 00:56:08,447
MAN 1 :
Over here, over here.
897
00:56:09,532 --> 00:56:13,077
MAN 2: Ashley.
-All right, that's enough.
898
00:56:13,244 --> 00:56:15,496
-Give the lady some room.
MAN 3: Can l get a comment?
899
00:56:15,663 --> 00:56:20,042
-There will be an official statement later.
-That's the girl from the wet T-shirt contest.
900
00:56:20,210 --> 00:56:22,586
MAN 4: Right here, right here.
-l am not a girl.
901
00:56:22,754 --> 00:56:24,630
I am a woman.
902
00:56:24,798 --> 00:56:26,632
-Now let us through.
MAN 5: Ashley, over here.
903
00:56:27,092 --> 00:56:30,552
After several Long lsland iced teas,
a strip show and a bar brawl...
904
00:56:30,720 --> 00:56:33,430
...Ashley Hartmann,
daughter of Senator Kay Bee Hartmann...
905
00:56:33,598 --> 00:56:36,225
...potential vice-presidential appointee,
was arrested...
906
00:56:36,393 --> 00:56:38,894
...after spring-breaking
on South Padre lsland.
907
00:56:39,771 --> 00:56:42,648
Ashley's troubles couldn't come
at a more inopportune moment...
908
00:56:42,816 --> 00:56:46,193
...for the potential vice president,
as the president is two days away...
909
00:56:46,361 --> 00:56:48,028
...from announcing his selection.
910
00:56:48,196 --> 00:56:49,238
Motherf--
911
00:56:49,406 --> 00:56:52,491
Ashley kept, like, chugging.
And l was all like, "Stop."
912
00:56:52,659 --> 00:56:53,951
And she was all like, "No."
913
00:56:54,119 --> 00:56:56,578
And then all of a sudden,
she just starts thrashing...
914
00:56:56,746 --> 00:57:00,749
...on this real unattractive lady,
and l'm, like, thinking:
915
00:57:00,917 --> 00:57:04,336
"Oh, my God.
Drinking and public displays of sex...
916
00:57:04,504 --> 00:57:08,006
-...is, like, real bad for women."
-Can we turn this off, please, somebody?
917
00:57:08,174 --> 00:57:10,426
Just turn it off. Thank you.
918
00:57:10,635 --> 00:57:12,803
[PHONE RlNGING]
919
00:57:17,684 --> 00:57:19,351
[RlNGlNG STOPS]
920
00:57:21,563 --> 00:57:22,896
Let's pack it in and leave.
921
00:57:24,232 --> 00:57:26,692
What? No, l'm not going anywheres.
922
00:57:26,860 --> 00:57:29,027
We got two days of partying left,
right, Judi?
923
00:57:29,446 --> 00:57:31,947
Actually, I need to go too.
924
00:57:32,365 --> 00:57:36,452
You guys, William and I reconciled.
925
00:57:36,619 --> 00:57:37,828
We are gonna get married.
926
00:57:39,289 --> 00:57:41,331
Sweetie, he's as gay as a goose.
927
00:57:41,499 --> 00:57:43,709
GAYLE: Mason says
there's no such thing as gay men.
928
00:57:43,877 --> 00:57:47,045
-Just guys that haven't met her yet.
BECKY: Enough with the Masons already.
929
00:57:47,213 --> 00:57:49,506
Oh, come on,
don't be bagging on my girls.
930
00:57:49,674 --> 00:57:51,300
Hey, I thought we were your girls.
931
00:57:51,885 --> 00:57:53,093
Yeah. No, you are.
932
00:57:53,261 --> 00:57:56,722
Just the Sevens asked me
to perform with them in the talent show...
933
00:57:56,890 --> 00:57:59,141
...so l think I'm finally gonna win.
934
00:57:59,309 --> 00:58:01,143
I think your cornrows are too tight.
935
00:58:01,311 --> 00:58:03,770
How can you think about
getting on a stage without us?
936
00:58:03,938 --> 00:58:05,772
Maybe you didn't hear me.
I want to win.
937
00:58:05,940 --> 00:58:08,734
You haven't gotten sun here,
you've gotten sun-damaged.
938
00:58:09,861 --> 00:58:11,904
Jiffy Pop.
939
00:58:12,071 --> 00:58:13,155
Ouch.
940
00:58:13,323 --> 00:58:16,742
You guys, focus.
I just said l'm getting married.
941
00:58:16,910 --> 00:58:19,244
Now, why can't you two
just be happy for me?
942
00:58:19,412 --> 00:58:22,080
-Judi, he's a gay.
-Judi, he's a gay.
943
00:58:22,457 --> 00:58:24,082
Let this be a lesson to you girls.
944
00:58:24,250 --> 00:58:27,961
Never base your self-esteem
on the validation from men.
945
00:58:28,129 --> 00:58:29,922
Or women.
946
00:58:30,089 --> 00:58:32,049
I might have low self-esteem...
947
00:58:32,217 --> 00:58:34,843
...but at least
I'm not rocking the gaucho pants.
948
00:58:35,595 --> 00:58:37,596
Honey gave me these pants.
949
00:58:37,764 --> 00:58:39,848
-For my 30th birthday.
-You know what, Becky?
950
00:58:40,016 --> 00:58:43,977
She didn't give you those pants. Know
why? Because cats can't give gifts, okay?
951
00:58:44,145 --> 00:58:45,812
Judi, tell her. She's delusional.
952
00:58:45,980 --> 00:58:48,857
Tell her, Judi. We can't spend
every night playing Pictionary.
953
00:58:49,025 --> 00:58:50,067
You bought that game.
954
00:58:50,235 --> 00:58:53,111
-She bought that game.
-Give me a break. Judi, pick a side.
955
00:58:53,279 --> 00:58:56,156
-Pick a side.
-Pick a side.
956
00:58:56,324 --> 00:58:58,534
You guys, l don't need to pick a side...
957
00:58:58,785 --> 00:59:01,078
...because I am getting married.
958
00:59:01,996 --> 00:59:05,624
And it will be a small, private affair.
959
00:59:05,792 --> 00:59:08,460
I'll be at the Hilton with my fiance.
960
00:59:08,795 --> 00:59:10,379
[CLATTERlNG]
961
00:59:10,547 --> 00:59:13,257
You hear that?
That's the sound of the party train.
962
00:59:13,424 --> 00:59:16,593
And this gal's gonna be on it. So peace.
963
00:59:19,806 --> 00:59:21,932
I'm sorry you had to see that.
964
00:59:23,142 --> 00:59:25,435
Let's get the hell out of here.
965
00:59:28,898 --> 00:59:30,899
Ashley, aren't you coming?
966
00:59:33,570 --> 00:59:35,153
No.
967
00:59:35,697 --> 00:59:37,197
What?
968
00:59:40,285 --> 00:59:44,371
Are we really gonna let those Seven bitches
run us out of town?
969
00:59:44,622 --> 00:59:46,498
They're kind of the Eights now.
970
00:59:46,833 --> 00:59:48,542
I wanna enter in that talent show.
971
00:59:48,876 --> 00:59:53,088
I heard that sentence in college once.
It ruined my life.
972
00:59:53,256 --> 00:59:54,798
ASHLEY:
Becky.
973
00:59:54,966 --> 00:59:56,675
Aren't you tired of being a doormat?
974
00:59:57,010 --> 01:00:00,637
Letting the Masons of the world
just win all the time?
975
01:00:01,014 --> 01:00:04,891
This isn't just a talent show. This is war.
976
01:00:06,603 --> 01:00:11,023
Becky, you are not a cautionary tale.
977
01:00:12,400 --> 01:00:13,442
She's right.
978
01:00:14,485 --> 01:00:17,279
Let's take back the beach.
979
01:00:26,164 --> 01:00:28,165
-Charlene.
-Oh, hi.
980
01:00:28,333 --> 01:00:30,459
We're starting a band.
981
01:00:30,627 --> 01:00:32,753
And l need your help.
982
01:00:32,920 --> 01:00:34,921
You need me?
983
01:00:55,360 --> 01:00:57,444
Yeah, hey.
984
01:00:57,612 --> 01:01:01,073
Stop. You know what?
That viola cannot handle the melody.
985
01:01:01,240 --> 01:01:02,991
We need someone on keyboards.
986
01:01:03,159 --> 01:01:06,870
My cousin Lavonne plays the piano down
at the church. We could give her a call.
987
01:01:07,038 --> 01:01:10,582
Oh, but she's such an alcoholic.
Yeah, it's so sad.
988
01:01:13,461 --> 01:01:14,836
Ashley.
989
01:01:15,004 --> 01:01:18,674
Oh, my God. Everybody's talking about you
like you're some big star.
990
01:01:19,801 --> 01:01:22,052
I've decided to take you back.
991
01:01:23,096 --> 01:01:25,097
-Oh, gosh, really?
-Really.
992
01:01:26,140 --> 01:01:27,766
You're the only girl for me.
993
01:01:27,934 --> 01:01:29,434
Oh, Douglas.
994
01:01:31,479 --> 01:01:32,938
Your mole's growing back.
995
01:02:07,432 --> 01:02:08,473
[FARTS]
996
01:02:08,641 --> 01:02:10,392
GAYLE:
Ugh.
997
01:02:17,734 --> 01:02:20,068
On the left. All right, good.
998
01:02:21,696 --> 01:02:23,572
WOMAN:
Got that.
999
01:02:25,825 --> 01:02:28,744
MAN: Welcome
to the 37th Annual All-Girl Talent Show.
1000
01:02:28,911 --> 01:02:31,329
I'm Dan, and you're about to see
a lot of naughty.
1001
01:02:31,497 --> 01:02:33,999
But first, let's say hello to our judges.
1002
01:02:34,167 --> 01:02:36,543
Christopher Knight,
Bruce Vilanch and La La.
1003
01:02:36,711 --> 01:02:39,254
Ladies, five minutes to get to that table
and register.
1004
01:02:39,422 --> 01:02:41,840
So let's make that happen.
Get it on! l'm Dan.
1005
01:02:43,468 --> 01:02:45,677
Are we too late to sign up
for the talent show?
1006
01:02:45,845 --> 01:02:47,387
-Just made it.
-Drink it.
1007
01:02:47,555 --> 01:02:50,724
Lavonne, drink it.
You have got to focus on the music.
1008
01:02:51,100 --> 01:02:54,603
Dear God, thank you for making us sexy.
1009
01:02:54,771 --> 01:02:57,189
We love you. Jesus is the best.
1010
01:02:57,648 --> 01:02:59,191
And God bless our troops...
1011
01:02:59,358 --> 01:03:03,487
...the unborn,
and all Sevens for all mankind.
1012
01:03:03,654 --> 01:03:07,032
-Amen.
-Praise him.
1013
01:03:07,575 --> 01:03:09,618
It's so weird you guys are religious.
1014
01:03:09,786 --> 01:03:11,369
BECKY:
Gayle.
1015
01:03:12,872 --> 01:03:15,707
On the outside, l see you've changed.
1016
01:03:17,001 --> 01:03:18,043
How are you?
1017
01:03:18,211 --> 01:03:20,629
-Get away from us.
-Good luck, Gayle.
1018
01:03:20,797 --> 01:03:21,838
[HORN BLOWS]
1019
01:03:22,006 --> 01:03:23,840
Let the show begin.
1020
01:03:24,008 --> 01:03:27,511
Our first contestants come straight
from the Pan-Asia Club of Florida State.
1021
01:03:27,887 --> 01:03:31,223
The Hoochie Minh.
1022
01:03:31,933 --> 01:03:34,559
[GERARD MARINO'S "KUNG FU WlSDOM 2"
PLAYS OVER SPEAKERS]
1023
01:03:40,775 --> 01:03:43,485
[THE DEEKOMPRESSORS' "PUMP
YOUR FIST" PLAYS OVER SPEAKERS]
1024
01:03:52,078 --> 01:03:55,580
And for the flight, l brought a copy of--
Wait for it.
1025
01:03:55,957 --> 01:03:58,208
--Steel Magnoles.
1026
01:03:58,376 --> 01:04:00,877
Oh. Yay.
1027
01:04:01,045 --> 01:04:02,170
You look good, Jude.
1028
01:04:03,089 --> 01:04:04,464
Really pretty.
1029
01:04:04,632 --> 01:04:07,050
-You think?
-Yes.
1030
01:04:07,760 --> 01:04:09,719
-Hey.
-Yes?
1031
01:04:09,887 --> 01:04:13,139
Let's go over to that bathroom over there
and do it.
1032
01:04:13,307 --> 01:04:14,933
Jude, you just went.
1033
01:04:15,101 --> 01:04:17,561
No, I mean do it,
like throw me up against a wall...
1034
01:04:17,728 --> 01:04:19,604
...and call me your dirty little slut.
1035
01:04:20,147 --> 01:04:21,231
You're talking craze.
1036
01:04:23,860 --> 01:04:26,111
-We have a problem, William.
-What's that, Baby G?
1037
01:04:26,571 --> 01:04:28,947
We don't have sex ever.
1038
01:04:35,454 --> 01:04:37,122
Are you thirsty?
1039
01:04:37,290 --> 01:04:39,374
Because I am thirsty.
1040
01:04:41,919 --> 01:04:43,211
-l can't do this.
-What?
1041
01:04:43,379 --> 01:04:44,754
I can't go back with you.
1042
01:04:44,922 --> 01:04:46,464
-Come again?
-l can't marry you.
1043
01:04:46,632 --> 01:04:47,883
One more time.
1044
01:04:48,050 --> 01:04:50,510
How can l make you understand?
1045
01:04:50,803 --> 01:04:53,513
Okay, here's the "sitch," all right?
1046
01:04:53,681 --> 01:04:55,974
I'm at a real crucial "mome" in my life...
1047
01:04:56,142 --> 01:05:00,979
...and l'm not just gonna settle
for half a "relaish."
1048
01:05:01,147 --> 01:05:02,898
I've still got a "fuetch."
1049
01:05:03,065 --> 01:05:06,693
And, William, truth be T...
1050
01:05:06,986 --> 01:05:08,653
...you're a total 'mo.
1051
01:05:32,511 --> 01:05:36,014
MEN [CHANTlNG]: Hoochie Minh.
DAN: Give it up for the Hoochie Minh.
1052
01:05:36,182 --> 01:05:39,309
Hoochie Minh, Hoochie Minh,
Hoochie Minh.
1053
01:06:14,345 --> 01:06:16,137
MAN:
Take it off!
1054
01:06:16,305 --> 01:06:19,224
-We are so much hotter than that.
-Mm-hm.
1055
01:06:19,392 --> 01:06:21,685
We're so gonna win this.
1056
01:06:21,978 --> 01:06:24,562
Gayle, l'm putting you in the back row.
1057
01:06:24,730 --> 01:06:26,439
You're looking kind of bloated.
1058
01:06:26,607 --> 01:06:28,817
But l haven't eaten for two days.
1059
01:06:28,985 --> 01:06:31,736
Damn it, Gayle,
you wanna win this thing or not?
1060
01:06:32,488 --> 01:06:34,406
Get this thing off me.
1061
01:06:35,074 --> 01:06:36,908
No!
1062
01:06:37,076 --> 01:06:38,910
WOMAN:
Francois.
1063
01:06:39,578 --> 01:06:41,496
What is wrong with you?
1064
01:06:41,664 --> 01:06:44,249
Dogs are our friends.
They love our insides.
1065
01:06:44,625 --> 01:06:46,584
God, freak out much?
1066
01:06:46,752 --> 01:06:48,753
Dogs are gross.
1067
01:06:49,588 --> 01:06:52,549
You know what? l don't belong here.
1068
01:06:52,717 --> 01:06:54,217
Look at me, I look ridiculous.
1069
01:06:54,385 --> 01:06:55,719
I'm wearing a boa.
1070
01:06:55,886 --> 01:06:58,096
-Whose idea was this?
-Yours.
1071
01:06:59,015 --> 01:07:01,599
Did I get caught up in the razzle-dazzle?
Yes.
1072
01:07:01,767 --> 01:07:03,101
But you know what l learned?
1073
01:07:03,269 --> 01:07:04,978
These will get you here:
1074
01:07:05,146 --> 01:07:06,938
But this is gonna get you here:
1075
01:07:07,231 --> 01:07:09,107
And then this will get you way up here:
1076
01:07:09,275 --> 01:07:11,735
Then use this and this together,
and you're up here:
1077
01:07:11,902 --> 01:07:14,446
And then you don't even care
about these.
1078
01:07:15,364 --> 01:07:16,781
Are you talking about boobs?
1079
01:07:16,949 --> 01:07:20,118
Oh, God. You know,
I chase girls like you my whole life.
1080
01:07:20,286 --> 01:07:22,537
And you know what?
You're all a bunch of bullies.
1081
01:07:22,705 --> 01:07:25,040
And you know what happens to bullies?
1082
01:07:26,417 --> 01:07:29,502
They get whatever they want,
but they don't get love.
1083
01:07:29,670 --> 01:07:30,879
Real love.
1084
01:07:31,047 --> 01:07:33,381
Mary J. Blige style. Here.
1085
01:07:34,467 --> 01:07:37,218
Why don't you take this?
Use it as a thong.
1086
01:07:37,386 --> 01:07:38,928
Gayle.
1087
01:07:39,555 --> 01:07:41,639
-Eat this.
GAYLE: Thank you.
1088
01:07:44,351 --> 01:07:47,479
This tastes so fucking good.
1089
01:07:48,481 --> 01:07:50,732
I am so tired of being hungry.
1090
01:07:50,900 --> 01:07:51,983
Let's go.
1091
01:07:52,151 --> 01:07:55,695
DAN: All right, people, give it up for
the hottest chicks from the state of Texas.
1092
01:07:55,863 --> 01:07:57,614
The Sevens.
1093
01:07:58,783 --> 01:08:01,993
[THE DEEKOMPRESSORS' "NASTY"
PLAYS OVER SPEAKERS]
1094
01:08:29,105 --> 01:08:30,980
I trained them well.
1095
01:08:31,148 --> 01:08:33,066
Move. Come on.
1096
01:08:33,234 --> 01:08:34,442
Get, get.
1097
01:08:47,373 --> 01:08:49,040
Let's beat it.
1098
01:08:56,674 --> 01:08:59,509
MAN 1 : Yeah.
MAN 2: That's what I'm talking about.
1099
01:09:00,719 --> 01:09:03,054
MAN 3: Take it off.
MAN 4: Go for it, baby.
1100
01:09:07,852 --> 01:09:09,185
Mason.
1101
01:09:09,353 --> 01:09:11,980
Lavonne.
Lavonne, you gotta keep it together.
1102
01:09:12,398 --> 01:09:14,107
Becky's Friendz, you're up next.
1103
01:09:14,275 --> 01:09:17,152
Becky's Friendz?
That's the name of our group?
1104
01:09:17,319 --> 01:09:18,820
All right, that's it, Ashley.
1105
01:09:18,988 --> 01:09:20,864
Your spring break is over, girls.
1106
01:09:21,031 --> 01:09:22,073
Grab her, boys.
1107
01:09:22,908 --> 01:09:23,908
Senator, please.
1108
01:09:24,076 --> 01:09:25,743
Betty, Betty, Betty.
1109
01:09:25,911 --> 01:09:29,038
I think that you have done
just about enough.
1110
01:09:29,206 --> 01:09:32,250
I never should have sent
a weak-willed number cruncher.
1111
01:09:32,418 --> 01:09:35,211
God, I hate plain women, l really do.
1112
01:09:36,881 --> 01:09:38,381
You know what?
1113
01:09:38,549 --> 01:09:41,593
"Hate" is a strong word.
1114
01:09:41,760 --> 01:09:43,469
And l am not plain.
1115
01:09:43,637 --> 01:09:45,305
I'm Becky St. Germaine.
1116
01:09:45,472 --> 01:09:47,348
And you know what else?
1117
01:09:48,809 --> 01:09:50,268
You can eat me, you cracker.
1118
01:09:51,187 --> 01:09:52,770
Who are you calling a cracker?
1119
01:09:53,564 --> 01:09:57,066
-Back it up!
-Mama. Mama, please listen.
1120
01:09:59,361 --> 01:10:01,196
I'm not the daughter you thought l was.
1121
01:10:01,363 --> 01:10:03,198
I'm not popular.
1122
01:10:03,699 --> 01:10:07,202
I've never pole-danced
and l didn't get into any sororities.
1123
01:10:07,369 --> 01:10:09,370
Not even the lesbian one.
1124
01:10:10,789 --> 01:10:13,124
These are my friends.
1125
01:10:14,168 --> 01:10:16,336
Mama, l'm plain.
1126
01:10:16,503 --> 01:10:19,005
There is nothing special about me.
1127
01:10:19,173 --> 01:10:21,591
Don't you ever say that again.
1128
01:10:21,759 --> 01:10:23,218
Hello? You're on.
1129
01:10:23,385 --> 01:10:25,303
We have to get out there, Ashley.
1130
01:10:25,971 --> 01:10:28,640
MAN 1 :
Go, go, go.
1131
01:10:28,807 --> 01:10:31,726
Go, go, go.
1132
01:10:31,894 --> 01:10:33,603
Oh, baby.
1133
01:10:33,771 --> 01:10:35,939
All right, get your butt up on that stage.
1134
01:10:36,315 --> 01:10:38,233
But keep your top on, all right?
1135
01:10:38,400 --> 01:10:41,319
-Let's do it.
-Chip off the old block, that one is.
1136
01:10:41,487 --> 01:10:45,365
Sevens are the team to beat. Let's see if
the next group of girls has what it takes.
1137
01:10:45,532 --> 01:10:49,285
Ladies and gentlemen, holler out
for Becky's Friendz. With a Z.
1138
01:10:49,703 --> 01:10:51,329
MAN 2:
Yeah.
1139
01:10:51,497 --> 01:10:53,623
Thank you so much, everyone.
1140
01:10:56,252 --> 01:10:59,420
Y'all, Lavonne's done. I'm so sorry.
1141
01:11:00,589 --> 01:11:02,590
-Sorry, sorry.
-Go home!
1142
01:11:04,343 --> 01:11:06,010
WOMAN:
Forget about it.
1143
01:11:06,178 --> 01:11:07,512
MAN 3:
Get off the stage!
1144
01:11:09,348 --> 01:11:10,974
Ladies.
1145
01:11:11,392 --> 01:11:13,142
Judi.
1146
01:11:13,727 --> 01:11:15,687
Let's do this.
1147
01:11:16,981 --> 01:11:19,190
Two, three, four.
1148
01:11:20,693 --> 01:11:24,153
[SINGlNG "HOLD ON"]
1149
01:13:28,153 --> 01:13:29,570
What?
1150
01:13:32,908 --> 01:13:34,659
MAN 4:
You suck!
1151
01:13:37,996 --> 01:13:40,331
Hey. Hey, you know what, South Padre?
1152
01:13:40,499 --> 01:13:43,501
We don't care what you think
because we're freaking awesome.
1153
01:13:43,669 --> 01:13:45,795
Yeah, so smoke on that, spring break.
1154
01:13:47,005 --> 01:13:49,006
WOMAN:
What's the matter, y'all?
1155
01:13:49,675 --> 01:13:51,634
Hey, all you regular girls, give it up.
1156
01:13:51,927 --> 01:13:54,345
Clap, come on. Give it up.
1157
01:13:54,513 --> 01:13:56,222
Yeah.
1158
01:13:57,516 --> 01:13:59,183
ASHLEY:
We're not going anywhere.
1159
01:13:59,351 --> 01:14:01,018
And just wait till next year.
1160
01:14:05,566 --> 01:14:09,110
And this is for Honey, my dead cat.
1161
01:14:10,195 --> 01:14:12,280
-Yeah!
-Give it up.
1162
01:14:15,200 --> 01:14:17,785
CROWD [CHANTlNG]:
Dead cat, dead cat, dead cat.
1163
01:14:17,953 --> 01:14:19,996
Dead cat, dead cat.
1164
01:14:20,164 --> 01:14:22,874
Way to go, girls. Way to--
1165
01:14:24,835 --> 01:14:26,544
Becky.
1166
01:14:29,631 --> 01:14:31,090
Ladies and gentlemen...
1167
01:14:31,258 --> 01:14:34,051
...the next vice president
of the United States of America...
1168
01:14:34,219 --> 01:14:36,679
...Senator Kay Bee Hartmann
and her daughter, Ashley.
1169
01:14:36,847 --> 01:14:39,891
-We're gonna save the environment.
-Can you tell us about--?
1170
01:14:40,058 --> 01:14:42,727
Mason here, Ashley's best friend.
1171
01:14:43,729 --> 01:14:46,063
-l don't know her.
-Get that girl out of the shot.
1172
01:14:47,900 --> 01:14:51,068
Come on, ladies. Let's go.
1173
01:15:19,765 --> 01:15:21,265
Please don't hurt me.
1174
01:15:21,433 --> 01:15:24,101
Don't say anything, just listen.
1175
01:15:25,437 --> 01:15:29,190
I want you to know
that you've changed me.
1176
01:15:29,358 --> 01:15:34,403
And not a day will go by when
I don't think about our time together.
1177
01:15:34,863 --> 01:15:38,658
But you're so young...
1178
01:15:38,825 --> 01:15:41,452
...with so many dreams and years
ahead of you.
1179
01:15:43,247 --> 01:15:46,541
It could never work between us,
I know that now...
1180
01:15:46,708 --> 01:15:51,379
...but always know
that you're in my soul.
1181
01:15:54,841 --> 01:15:56,259
Wait.
1182
01:16:19,449 --> 01:16:21,158
Goodbye.
1183
01:16:53,984 --> 01:16:57,528
Oh, hey, you guys, let's take a picture
so we'll always remember this trip.
1184
01:16:57,696 --> 01:17:00,072
-Charlene.
-Okay.
1185
01:17:00,949 --> 01:17:03,367
Okay, all right.
Get together, y'all, all right.
1186
01:17:03,535 --> 01:17:08,706
-Ready? One, two....
-Cheese.
1187
01:17:12,252 --> 01:17:16,213
Ashley will not be speaking
at a fundamentalist college, no.
1188
01:17:16,381 --> 01:17:19,216
And also, we are focusing
on the family and the environment...
1189
01:17:19,384 --> 01:17:22,386
...so you can tell those
anti-immigration dudes to shove it.
1190
01:17:22,721 --> 01:17:25,890
Oh, my God. I've only been
on eHarmony for two weeks...
1191
01:17:26,058 --> 01:17:28,726
...and l already have
23 coffees lined up.
1192
01:17:28,894 --> 01:17:32,229
-You go, girl.
-Guys, are we making pizzas or what?
1193
01:17:32,397 --> 01:17:34,565
-Oh, yeah.
-l gotta go.
1194
01:17:35,359 --> 01:17:38,402
-You got me the mini pepperonis again.
BECKY: Put a smiley face on mine.
1195
01:17:38,570 --> 01:17:40,488
-That's really amazing.
-l'll do that too.
1196
01:17:40,656 --> 01:17:42,531
GAYLE: Okay, guys, I got an idea.
Movie Numbers.
1197
01:17:42,699 --> 01:17:45,117
Only Movie Numbers Extreme.
1198
01:17:45,285 --> 01:17:47,995
-Ooh!
-One to 20.
1199
01:17:48,163 --> 01:17:51,248
JUDl: Okay, l'll start, l'll start.
It Happened One Night.
1200
01:17:51,416 --> 01:17:53,042
-Basic lnstinct 2.
-Nice.
1201
01:17:53,210 --> 01:17:55,795
-Three Men and a Little Lady.
-l love Steve Guttenberg.
1202
01:17:55,962 --> 01:17:59,924
-l love Steve Guttenberg.
-Okay. Fantastic Four.
1203
01:18:00,092 --> 01:18:01,509
-Nine to Five.
-That's so good.
1204
01:18:01,677 --> 01:18:03,844
That's three numbers, nine, two, five.
Okay.
1205
01:18:04,012 --> 01:18:05,763
[ALL LAUGHING]
1206
01:18:57,232 --> 01:18:59,483
You're a pretty puppy.
1207
01:19:01,528 --> 01:19:06,115
This is really degrading to women.
Really.
1208
01:19:13,790 --> 01:19:16,417
We're kind of like Laverne and Shirl.
1209
01:19:32,434 --> 01:19:34,268
I can't-- I can't--
1210
01:19:34,436 --> 01:19:36,520
South Padre.
1211
01:19:39,858 --> 01:19:42,193
You know what this lawn chair
reminds me of?
1212
01:19:42,360 --> 01:19:45,529
-What?
-The time l had sex on a lawn chair.
1213
01:19:45,697 --> 01:19:47,406
What?
1214
01:23:39,764 --> 01:23:41,765
[ENGLISH SDH]
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