Original subtitles

That ends that.

Can I ask you a question?

Certainly.

What did you just hit me with?

It was that old record player, son. I'm sorry.

That's the best it sounded in years.

Well, I admit it was in bad shape, Pop,

but at least it played.

But not as good as our new stereo.

Wait a second. We can't afford a new stereo.

Say what?

I said, we can't afford a new stereo.

That's why I'm stealing one.

You see, that's what Honest Al said on TV.

His stereo special is a steal at 19.95 a month.

For how many months?

Forty-eight months.

Forty-eight months?

Pop, that's four years.

You're paying more for the interest

than you will for the stereo.

Honest Al wouldn't rip nobody off.

Oh, sheesh.

I mean it.

See, I really got to know him today,

because he came on TV 32 times during the movie matinee.

Oh, my... It was a great picture too, son.

Gork fights a giant cyclops.

You see, when cyclops was losing, he cried.

Tears fell in the Pacific Ocean

and caused a tidal wave in El Segundo.

Would you stop that?

Anyway, I called Honest Al, and he's on his way over here.

Honest Al.

Pop, with a name like Honest Al,

he couldn't possibly be honest.

Why not?

Tricky Dicky was tricky.

I'll get that.

You don't have to bother, I'll get that myself.

Hi.

You Honest Al?

Honest Hank of Honest Al's.

Honest?

Honest.

Well, where's Honest Al?

He's in court.

I think you're making a fine choice, Mr. Sanford.

Wait a minute, wait a minute.

He's not making any choice. I am.

You want to buy a stereo?

I happen to be a great music lover.

Can you still hear well enough

to appreciate fine music, old man?

Can you still see well enough, youngster,

to duck some of these?

Hey, Pop, dig yourself.

I'm sorry, Mr. Sanford.

It's just that most of our customers are younger.

What kind of stereo were you interested in?

The one Honest Al talked about on TV,

the Quasimodo.

Oh, you mean the quadrasonic.

Yeah, yeah, that one too.

Our quadrasonic sells for $475 without tax.

Honest Al said it was 19.95 a month.

He wants to buy it on time.

That's not possible.

Why not?

Four years is a long time.

And when a man reaches your age, Mr. Sanford,

you never know when He'll be calling.

Well, if you don't sell me that stereo on time,

He might be calling you sooner than you think.

Look, it's not up to me. It's company policy.

We don't sell on time to anyone over 65.

Who said I was 65?

I'm 47.

Uh-huh.

And how old is your son?

He just had his sweet 16th party.

Oh. He did?

Yeah, at Manny's Menudo Manor on Manchester.

Yeah, see, we Sanfords

have always looked somewhat old for our age.

Excuse me.

Just like Esther

has always looked somewhat ugly for her age.

Watch it, sucker.

Hello, Lamont.

Hi, Aunt Esther.

We were having a bake sale at the church,

and I know how much you like sweet potato pie.

Oh, hey. Thank you, Aunt Esther.

It was awfully nice of you to think of me.

Mrs. Anderson?

Honest Hank. How are you?

I'm fine.

You mean you two know each other?

Oh, I bought a stereo from Hank a few weeks ago

for only 19.95 a month.

Why did you sell her one and didn't sell me one?

Well, Mrs. Anderson isn't old.

No, she's just ugly.

How dare you call me ugly!

I dare not call you anything else but ugly.

It's a sin to tell a lie.

Fred Sanford, you are an evil man,

and someday you're gonna pay.

I'm paying now just by looking at you.

Don't you see, Hank?

Ugly people are as much a big a risk as old people.

Like, any time now, a policeman might mistake Esther

for a Bigfoot and shoot her on sight.

Now, what about my stereo, Hank?

As I said earlier, Mr. Sanford, you're too old.

But your son can sign for it.

Hey, no way. I'm not going to get ripped off by them charges.

I'm surprised you bought a stereo on time, Aunt Esther.

Well, it was the only way I could afford one, Lamont.

And it does work well.

Of course.

At Honest Al's we sell the best for the least.

Wouldn't sell me one, but you sold one to the beast.

Well, uh... I gotta run.

Let me know if you change your mind.

How would you like me to change your face?

Good day.

Not selling me one just because I'm old.

I feel useless and worthless.

Well, I think I better be running along too.

Goodbye, Lamont.

Goodbye, Aunt Esther.

Goodbye, Gramps.

Back to your cave, bat.

Why, you old, miserable gray-headed, fish-eyed fool!

Oh, glory!

What kind of a world is this, son?

Ugly is good, and old is bad.

Hey, come on, Pop. You're not old.

You've still got

a lot of productive years in front of you.

Yeah, well, if you are what comes out of my assembly line,

I'm closing down production.

It's not easy being an old man in a young world.

I know, Pop.

Unfortunately, our society is youth-oriented.

Yeah, see, the only time you see old people in TV

is in laxative and denture commercials.

The whole world must think that everyone over 65 years old

ain't got no teeth and they're constipated.

You know, Pop,

if you're really angry with this guy Honest Al,

there's something that you can do about it.

I mean, there's a group of senior citizens

that fight against discrimination of the elderly.

They call themselves the Gray Foxes.

I read about them in Jet.

Well, can they get me the stereo?

I don't know, but we can call them up and find out.

They should be listed in the Yellow Pages.

Yeah, well, look in the Yellow Pages under "old,"

and let your fingers do the creeping.

Oh, here it is.

Here it is.

The number's 555-6245.

If Esther got a stereo, then I should get one too.

Hello, Gray Foxes?

I say, Gray Foxes. This is Fred G. Sanford.

The G stands for "growing old."

Yeah, I'd like to speak the head Fox.

Not Redd Foxx, head Fox.

You know, the old guy in charge.

Yeah, well, wake him up.

The Gray Foxes should be here any minute, Bubba.

Oh? Well, maybe I better be going, Fred.

Why?

Well, I heard that if you stay around real old people,

you start getting older yourself.

Oh, that's crazy, Bubba.

Excuse me.

But I hope it doesn't work for real ugly people,

because I've been around Esther a long time.

Are you Fred Sanford?

Uh, yeah. Who are you all? Tony Orlando and Twilight?

I'm Clarence Richardson

and these are the Stephens sisters,

Millie and Rose.

You're a good-looking young man.

Back off me, wrinkles.

Go over there and meet my friend Bubba. Please.

Hi.

We're pleased that you wanna join the Gray Foxes, Fred.

I see a lot of gray, but where are the foxes?

We need a strong young man to show the world

that the elderly won't be pushed around anymore.

Power to the Foxes!

How about you, Bubba? You wanna join?

Uh, no, thanks.

Fred, they've been here only a few minutes

and my teeth are starting to get loose already.

It's good to find a man like you, Fred.

You can say that again.

He's cute.

A man who's willing to fight for his principles,

a man with determination...

A man who wants a stereo.

A man who's getting older by the minute.

You believe in action, Fred?

Not with you, Polident puss.

I have to leave.

Even my... Even my blood is starting to get tired.

Won't you sit down?

Like you said on the phone, Fred,

we're not gonna let Honest Al deprive us of our rights!

Well, we ought to do something about it.

Power to the Foxes!

We believe in peaceful political action.

You are absolutely right.

Let's bomb the place.

We can't do that.

That's clear thinking, Fred.

If we bomb the place, my stereo will be destroyed.

Well, Millie gets carried away sometimes.

How else is she gonna move?

There's a lot of stores that won't give credit to old people.

Then we should picket Honest Al's tomorrow.

Right on!

And you should lead, Fred, to celebrate your first protest.

Fidel Sanford, leader of the people.

You can lead me anywhere.

How about out to pasture?

Two, three, four.

Hup, two, three, four.

Hup, two, three, four.

All right.

Attention and fall in.

We're ready, Fred!

All right, straighten up that line!

You have to look meaner.

Yeah, you fine, Millie.

Hey, you're a real revolutionary, Fred.

That's Fred G. Sanford, Bubba.

The G stands for "generalissimo."

I like to keep my forces in line.

Yeah, you need to be strict to move an army.

That's to move most armies.

To move this army, I need Geritol.

Hup, two, three, four. Hup...

Honest Al is no one's pal! Honest Al is no one's pal!

Halt!

Halt!

It's almost time to enter the field of battle.

Power to the Foxes!

Make sure you take everything.

Take the pickets, the signs, the oxygen tents,

take your Supp-Hose.

But most important thing not to forget,

the closest toilet is across the street in the gas station.

Now one more time.

Hup, two, three, four.

Hup, two, three, four. Hup...

Power to the Foxes!

Power to the Foxes!

What is going on in here?

Uh, history's in the making, son.

Yeah, he's leading a revolution.

Yeah, and when I'm finished

senior citizens will have the right

to be ripped off on credit just the same as anybody else.

And I'll have my stereo.

Pop, you mean to tell me

these people are going to picket Honest Al's?

Honest Al is no one's pal! Honest Al is no one's pal!

Pop, you've gone too far.

No, I haven't.

Honest Al is only a few blocks down the street.

Foxes, move out!

Gray all the way! Gray all the way!

Hey, be careful out there, Pop.

Just be careful.

I'll keep an eye on him.

You can do what you want with your eye.

Just keep your hand off me.

Move out!

Power to the Foxes!

Pop should've been home a long time ago, Bubba. I'm worried.

There's nothing to worry about, Lamont.

Get that for me, Bubba, because I'm too nervous.

Who is it? Hello.

Who is it?

Smitty? It's Smitty, Lamont.

Oh.

He is?

Good.

He's with your father. He's all right.

Okay, give me the phone.

Hello, Smitty.

Where are you?

Jail?

Guard! Guard! Guard!

Okay, what's the matter now, Sanford?

I just can't take these bars.

I feel closed in.

I got bar-a-phobia.

Wait a minute. Just cool it, huh?

I wouldn't be upset if I had something to eat.

Well, I'm hungry too, but I got to make my rounds.

Well, can you get me a Fatburger?

Not hardly.

Look in death row. Maybe they left something.

Sanford, you're just gonna have to wait.

You can't treat me like this.

This is cruel and inhuman punishment.

Shut up! Huh?

I said shut up, and I mean shut up.

But I can live with it.

I guess you ain't got much choice.

Hey, Pop, what it is?

What are you in here for?

I'm a political prisoner.

See, I was leading a peaceful protest

when I had a run-in with the police.

And then they ran me in here.

Yeah? This your first time?

Yeah, I ain't never been in the big house before.

How about you?

Oh, man, this is my second home.

Well, what are you in for?

I was lifting something heavy.

Is that why you walk funny?

No, I mean some expensive stuff,

you know, that didn't exactly belong to me.

Oh, you in robbery.

Robbery, burglary, extortion.

Sort of a jack of all trades.

Kidnapping, arson.

Let me out of here!

Guard, let me out of here! Please!

Hey, Lamont.

Hey, what's happening, Jake?

You all right, Pop?

I will be as soon as you get me out of here.

Don't worry about a thing. I raised your bail.

Okay, come out of there, Sanford.

What kind of guard are you?

I mean, putting a good citizen like me

in the same cell with a human crime wave.

Good thing that you got here when you did,

because five minutes more, and I would've been in bad trouble.

Why?

I was just about to tear this guy apart.

Yo! Wait a minute.

Don't do that! Don't do that. Don't play that!

I wish you would now.

Don't hold me now.

You better be glad I'm locked out here.

I tell you, son, it was the worst experience of my life.

Horrible conditions, mean prisoners, sadistic guards.

I don't know how I survived it.

Maybe because you were only there 20 minutes.

Well, it seemed like 20 years.

You know, I wanna ask you a question, Pop.

How come you were the only Gray Fox arrested?

Well, you see, son, we were picketing peacefully,

then all of a sudden, we were surrounded by police.

There must've been over a hundred of them.

See, and Honest Al called them.

Naturally, they came after me first

because that's good military strategy.

Always get the generalissimo.

I've heard that.

This policeman asked me to move, and we exchanged a few words.

Unfortunately, he didn't like none of mine.

So...

then my picket sign slipped,

and I accidentally hit the officer.

Pop, you can't accidentally hit somebody on the top of the head.

Well, you can if you're standing on a truck.

Anyway, I'm proud of you, Pop,

because you stood up for what you thought was right.

Well, thanks a lot, son.

See, I believe in the American way.

I mean, fight for what you believe in and what's good.

That's the way Mohammad Ali is.

He never fights for under $10 million.

I'll get it.

And I'm ready to fight right now.

Please, Mr. Sanford. I came over here to apologize.

We had to call the police for business reasons.

What kind of business reasons?

If we had let those pickets stay,

we wouldn't have any business.

If you let me buy on time,

you wouldn't have no pickets.

Do you plan any more picketing?

We will picket until we get what we want.

Look, Mr. Sanford,

perhaps we can work it out.

Work what out?

I smell something rotten.

You started this action

because you wanted a stereo, Mr. Sanford.

I think that can be arranged.

You mean you're gonna change your policy?

No, but if you call off your pickets,

we'll give you a stereo free.

Hey, my father wouldn't sell out the Gray Foxes

for a mere stereo.

Uh, yeah, you're right, son.

However, if you throw in a free record collection...

But, Pop... Anything you want.

You got any Isaac Hayes and Leslie Adams?

We certainly do.

What about ethics and morality?

Yeah, throw them in too with Earth, Wind and Fire.

Mr. Sanford, you wash our back and we'll wash yours.

You're gonna wash my back?

You call off your pickets

and you'll get your new stereo and record collection.

Hey, Pop, that's wrong, man.

No, it's not, son.

Now, if you'll just sign right here.

Uh, I thought the stereo was for free.

It is. Signing is just a mere formality.

I don't know where to begin. - Then don't.

I mean, this looks like an encyclopedia.

Sign there and the stereo is yours.

Yeah, and your life is theirs.

He said it was for free, Lamont.

Look right here, Mr. Sanford. It reads as clear as day.

Pop, before you sign that,

I mean, this is a very important decision.

You should think about it.

Okay.

There you go.

Pop, you're selling out the Gray Foxes for a stereo.

I can't believe that.

Don't forget the albums.

You can stop by and pick them up any time you like.

I would rather have it delivered.

Phew!

All right.

Just put your name and address on this form

for our shipping department.

I assume you'll be talking to the Gray Foxes.

Consider them already talked to.

All right.

Allow me to show you out.

Hey, Pop, how could you do it, man?

How could you do it

after you told me how you believed in the American way?

What are you gonna tell the Gray Foxes?

I'll think of something.

You better because they believe in action against their enemies,

and I have a feeling you just became one.

Don't worry, Lamont.

Kunta can handle his troops.

Oh...

Power to the Foxes!

Power to the Foxes! Power to the Foxes!

Power to the Foxes! Power to the Foxes!

Uh-huh.

You hear that?

They're out there picketing us, Pop.

We're gonna lose our business.

Power to the Foxes!

I told you it was gonna happen.

We did it! We did it!

We did it! We did it!

What did you do?

We forced Honest Al to change his policy.

How?

Well, when we got to our offices this morning,

we found one of Honest Al's stereos.

How did it get there?

As if you didn't know.

Wait a minute. I... I don't understand.

When your father called me last night to call off the picketing,

I couldn't understand why.

Then when we found that stereo, I knew.

That's the stereo that...

Hey, Pop, you just went along with this whole thing

so you could give the stereo to the Gray Foxes.

Yeah, I figured as long as Al was giving it away,

I mean, we might as well give it to the people who deserve it.

I filled out the address on the delivery form.

But how did you get Al to change?

Well, when we found out how good it sounded,

we went down to Honest Al's

and we demanded that he let us buy it on time.

And when he saw how many of us want to buy,

he changed the policy.

I'm proud of you, Pop.

Yeah, you ought to be, Lamont. We are.

I sure am.

Oh, Freddy, you're so wonderful, so easy-going.

Want to fool around?

Are you crazy?

No, I mean it.

You're so soft, so warm, so soothing.

I need you.

You don't need me, you need a sitz bath.

Well, we don't have to get married.

We would just live together.

I think it's a great idea, Pop.

No, don't do that, son.

No, no.

I can't live in sin.

Well, come on, ladies, we've got work to do.

Don't do that. I don't like that stuff.

Power to the Foxes! Power to the Foxes!

You know, Pop,

I'm ashamed of myself for thinking the worst of you.

That's all right, Lamont.

I couldn't tell you what was on my mind

because I wanted it to be a surprise.

I'd never sell out the Foxes.

Well, you know, I guess we both learned a lesson:

If you're willing to fight for something you believe in,

you can make things happen.

You're right, son, we really showed them.

Except we still don't have a stereo.

You threw away the old one and gave away the new one.

If you wanna listen to music,

I'm afraid you're gonna have to go to Aunt Esther's house.

No, son, we have different tastes in music.

What do you mean?

I respond to easy listening

and Esther only responds to the mating call of the moose.