All language subtitles for Renaissance.Man.1994.1080p.WEBRip.x264-RARBG2_English

(HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING
ON RADIO)

♪ Yeah

♪ Yeah

♪ Yeah
♪ What's that?

♪ Yeah

♪ Yeah, yeah

♪ Funky, funky

♪ How 'bout a big hand now?
♪ Wait, wait a minute

♪ Groovy, groovy
jazzy, funky
pounce, pounce, dance

♪ As we dip
in the melodic sea

♪ The rhythm keeps flowing
and drips to MC

♪ Sweet sugar pop,
sugar pop, roxy pop

♪ You don't stop
'til the sweet beat drops

♪ I'm showin' proof
as I stick and move

♪ Every poem's recited
on top of the groove

♪ Smooth, my,
floatin' like a butterfly,

♪ Notes that are floatin'
sung like a lullaby

♪ Brace yourself
as the beat hits ya

♪ Dip trip, flip fantasia

♪ Yeah

♪ Yeah

♪ Yeah

♪ What's that?

♪ Biddy-diddy bop

♪ Yeah

♪ Biddy-diddy bop

♪ Funky, funky, funky, funky ♪

Would you like
another muffin?

No, that's, uh, fine.

(CLEARS THROAT)

Just take one,
please.

I'll give you another one.
"They check in,
but they don't check out."

Billy Rago wrote that.

The guy was practically
a god in New York.

Worked for all the
heavy shops before
we got him out here,

and I'm telling you,
we had to beg.

You know,
it's got to be the traffic.
He's always on time.

Have another muffin.
I'll go and see
what I can do.

MAN ON RADIO: W-E-Z,
Detroit. The big wheeze!
(PHONE RINGS)

Yeah?
JACK: Where are you?

Where am I?

Take a look out the window.
I'm parked in the middle
of Jefferson.

I've been here
for 20 minutes.
What?

It's construction everywhere.
They're laying down cones.
Look at this guy.

Hey! Today?
You had to pick today?

These guys are on
a 10:30 back to Chicago.

They're not
the sitting-around types.

Look, I'm 500 yards away.
Can't you stall 'em?
Give 'em a muffin.

No, I've been stalling 'em.
We talked about the Bulls
three times.

And they didn't like
the muffins.

Just put me on the speaker.
What? No way.

I'll pitch it on the phone.
Let me talk to these clowns.

Okay. Uh,

we're gonna try a little
modern science here.

We do it all the time.

Bill, you still with us?

Uh, yeah.
Can they hear me?

Bill, I want you to meet
Noah Bradley and Peter Brosnan
of Key Brands.

Morning.

BILL: Noah. Pete.
Good to see ya.

Yeah, Bill, listen,
we really do have
a plane to catch.

Hey, guys, I mean,
can't you wait 10 minutes?

It's not the last flight
out of town.

Look, uh, you guys
see the panels
on the board there?

Jack, flip up the first panel.

Bill, I think...

Just flip up the first panel!
Jesus, a lab monkey
could do that!

Okay, now.

Let me take you
to the panels.

When you think of food wrap,
you think of America,
baseball, Mom,

apple pie, the old West.

Speaking of which,
you should be looking
at a sheriff.

Yeah.
Yeah.

All right, well, he's sittin'
there and he's got his feet
up on the desk, see.

Now, behind him,
his jail cell is covered
with Key Brands food wrap.

Right? Now, we got
all this food inside
tryin' to escape.

We got an actor dressed up
as a melon.

One is a wedge of cheese.
(MEN SHOUTING IN DISTANCE)

Another one is, uh,
um, is a, uh,

um, um...
Another one is, uh...

A sandwich.
Okay. A sandwich. Right.

And the sheriff smiles
into the camera and he says...

Blow it out
your butt, tubby!
(HORNS HONKING)

That's right, wide load.
I'm talkin' to you, fatso.
Hey!

You guys aren't fat,
are you?

Anyway, so the sheriff's
lookin' right into the
camera and he says,

"Partners, there's only
one way..."

(STATIC CRACKLING)

...Key Brand...
(STATIC CONTINUES)

...name that means qual...
(STATIC CONTINUES)

You get a sheriff like...

I think we're having
a little phone trouble.

...the guy from Gunsmoke.
This campaign could...
Bill?

You've gone into
cell hell on us, pal.
(STATIC CRACKLING)

WOMAN: Hi, I'm Joy.
If you want to be
dominated, press one.

If you want to
discipline me, press two.

Now, that's not Bill.
That's... We've got
some crossover here.

MAN: How many kilos?
Stop it!

Moms will love it.
Dads will love it.

Kids are gonna have
shiny badges, boots,
everybody.

Look, I may lose you
in the elevator,

but I'll see you
in a couple of seconds.

(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)

You got me? Hello?

One, two, three, four,
five, six... Okay.

Good morning.
Shorris-Grey Advertising.

Whoo! Traffic was a...

(PANTING)

Where are they?
(GROANS)

I'll pack up your office.

I kept the same boxes
we moved in with.
It'll save a few bucks.

JACK: Let me talk
to him, okay?

PAUL: Yeah, and tell him
to print up some resumes.

JACK: Oh, come on, Paul.

PAUL: Come on what?
The guy's been
running on fumes.

His work's slipping.
He's hostile to clients.

Jeez, I couldn't believe it!
A six-million-dollar account,
and what do you got?

You got two guys staring
at a speaker phone,
for crying out loud!

What the hell
was I supposed to do?

PAUL: You were supposed to
be working with professionals,
number one, okay?

I mean, I've never seen
a stunt like that in my life.

JACK: Paul, look. The man's
had a few personal setbacks
the last couple years.

(MACHINE BEEPS)

(ON MACHINE)
Yes, this is Evan from
U Love To Rent Furniture.

You love to rent,
but apparently,
you don't love to pay.

Our truck will be there
at 9:00 a.m. Thank you.

(MACHINE BEEPS)

Bill, it's Jack.

Listen, uh,
I'm making a few calls,
but I got to tell ya,

you burned a few bridges
out there, pal.

I'm gonna try and line up
some freelance stuff
next month.

So you just stay
in touch, okay?

Bye.
(MACHINE BEEPS)

Mr. Rago, my name's Hakiem.

I deliver your Free Press.
You still owe me $11.50.

(MACHINE BEEPS)

Hi, Daddy. It's me, Emily.

Daddy, I know you're
probably still at work,
but, uh, listen.

I hate to ask you this,
but Mom said she's broke
until next month.

And that since you
just got that big new
Key Brands account,

I had to ask you.

So here it goes.

There's an eclipse
coming up in Mexico,
and it's a really big deal.

My whole astronomy
club is going.

And if we get
the ticket early enough,
it'll be really cheap.

And this is really
important to me.
I really, really want to go.

There it is. Thanks, Daddy.

(MACHINE BEEPS)

(PEOPLE SINGING)

♪ I'm flat broke
but I don't care

Hey, buddy,
you got two bits?
No.

(HARMONIZING)

♪ I'm flat broke
but I don't care ♪

MAN: I got better things
to do than...

CLERK: How many times
I gotta tell you?

Honey, you can't
collect unemployment if
you don't look for a job.

(GRUNTS)

CLERK: If you bring
that in, we'll help you.

Thank you.
Next!

(EXHALES)

(SIGHS)

You were in
advertising, I see.
Yeah.

Hmm!

Princeton?

Yeah.

Guess that was before
it went co-ed, huh?

(LAUGHS)

My, my, school like that,
you think they'd teach you
how to read.

Wrong line.
What?

New claims are the two
windows at the end.

You get that stamped,
you come back to me.

What are you, crazy?
I've been here since 9:00.

So have I. Next!

WOMAN: Number 125.
CLERK: Okay.

You'll hear from us.
Thanks.

Next!

You think there's a chance
I could get unemployment
before I get social security?

Have you previously
collected benefits?

No. I've always had a job.

Can you operate any
industrial machinery,
farm equipment?

Yeah. That was a required
course in college.

Theory of Plowing.

I have all day, Bill.

Now, why don't you
tell me what you'd
be willing to do?

If you give me a check,
I'd be willing to cash it.

Come here. Come here.

Now, this is your first
time here, right?

A man your age.
It can't be easy.

You're humiliated.
You're frustrated.

I see it on 100 people's
faces every day.

And whether you
believe it or not,

I feel for each
and every one of 'em.

Now you can either
help me help you,

or you can be an asshole.

In which case I'm gonna
make you stand there

until you die
and turn to dust.

So...

Let's begin again.

Have you previously
collected benefits?

No.

What would you
be willing to do?

Milk cows.

Uh, shear sheep.

Pluck chickens.
All right, Bill.

A couple of weeks
you'll hear from us. Next!

BILL: Smack it! Run!
Go, go, go, go, go, go, go!

Aw! Oh!
MAN: Bang, bang, bang.

He can't run.
Two million dollars a year,
he runs like Bill Clinton.

The eclipse, Dad.
Mexico.

Come on, Emily.
You don't wanna
go down there.

It's 100 degrees.
You get held up
at the airport.

You probably won't get off
the toilet long enough
to see it, anyway.

Dad!

(BILL GROANS)

Astronomy?
Jesus, when are you
gonna grow up?

I am growin' up.

You know it's what
I wanna do.

Oh, there's the path
to big bucks.

Starin' out into space.
Look! I discovered Venus.
Pay me.

Astrology, maybe you could
make a few dollars,

doin' people's horoscopes
or somethin'.

Why do you always
have to be such a jerk
about all this for?

MAN: Frozen malts!
Frozen malts!

Here's the frozen malt guy.
You want a frozen malt?
No.

Gimme two.
Gimme two.

Em. Wait a minute.
Em, come on.

I'm sure you'll find
a very nice eclipse to
see around here someday.

Yeah, in the year 2047!

You want your pennant?

EMILY: No, I just want you
to believe in me!

(PEOPLE SINGING)

Hi, guys,
how ya doin'? Okay.

Next!

Hi, Beverly.

Bill. Good to see you.

How are the kids?
Great. Everything's great.

Good.
How's your daughter?

She hates my guts.

Surprise, surprise.

You know, it's strange.
I don't like you either.

Yet somehow,
I'm gonna miss you.

We found you a job.

There you go.

What do you think?

I can't do this.
Sure you can.

No, no, no, no. I...
Beverly.

You got the wrong file.
When have I ever
been a teacher?

Look, you got
a master's degree.
That means you can teach.

No, it doesn't.
No, it only means
hypothetically that I could.

Come on, Bill.
Now, it's a good job.

Six weeks. A decent salary.
And you get to live there.

(STAMMERING) Beverly,
I... I'll get my head
blown off.

Do you know how many kids
carry guns to school
these days?

In this case, all of 'em.

(CHUCKLES)
I guess you didn't get
to the "where" part.

♪ Must be the army
that's turning me on

♪ Must be the army
that's making me strong

Yes, sir.

Sir. Halt.

May I help you?
BILL: Yeah.

I need directions to
the Army Education Center.

AEC? That's building 2310.

Park your vehicle
in the green zone,
step inside, get a pass.

Listen,
I'm runnin' a little late.
Can't I drive somewhere?

Yes, sir. You can drive
to the green zone
and get a pass.

Look, I'm not even
in the army.
I just have to meet...

Park in the green zone,
step inside, get a pass!

Right. Green zone,
inside, pass.

You'd probably get along
good with my ex-wife.

♪ I'm just a soldier, Sergeant
Marching for you

DRILL SERGEANT:
♪ I will not quit
until P.T. is through

ALL:
♪ I will not quit
until P.T...

Excuse me.
Excuse me. I'm...

I'm lookin' for
the Army Education Center.

Captain Tom Murdoch.

Captain Murdoch's
not at the AEC.
Captain Murdoch's at the ARC.

ARC, AEC.

You lookin' for
Captain Murdoch?
Yeah!

The AEC is building 2310.

You want building 4475.
4475.

Look, here's what you do.

You go right here.
Take another right
at the P.X.

Go half a click till you see
the DPTM Center.

P.M., P.X.
Then take a left.

If you hit the RFPC,
you've gone too far.

(SIGHS)

DPTM. RFPC.

Can I buy a vowel?

(PHONE RINGING)

Captain Murdoch's office.
May I help you?

Oh, hi again, sir.

Can you hold on
for a minute?

Okay, Sergeant,
these are ready to go.

Uh, sir.

Bill Rago.

Sorry to keep you
waiting like this.

Well, actually,
I needed to catch up
on world events.

That Gulf War thing
worked out for us, huh?

Sure did.
Yeah.

I'm Tom Murdoch.
Welcome to Fort McClane.

Would you come
with me, please?
All right.

Give us
a couple of minutes.

Sir, the extra
housing units...

I'm workin' on it.

They keep shutting down
these forts on us,

and we've picked up troops
from every goddamn one.

I got 15 buses
coming in at 2100.

Fifteen!
Bummer.

I've got that key
somewhere.

Ah, here it is.

Would you come with me,
please, Bill?

You mean, go?
Yeah, after you.

Ever been in the army?
No.

Good. I'll show you
around and explain
your job to you.

The sergeant sent
us a list of names.
WOMAN: Next.

No go, they said.

These are the ones
who can't hack it.

Hell, none of 'em
wanted get the boot.
Ow!

And they all
volunteered, right?
(GROANS)

Come on, Bill.
It don't hurt much.
They all go through it.

Now, where was I?

Oh, yeah, that's when
Colonel James stepped in.

He put out a call
to find the kids

that could best be served
by this kind of program.

All right. Keep breathing.
(PANTING)

This is sick.
Bill?

You all right?

What are they gonna
catch in Michigan?

(PANTING)
Bill? Stay with me, okay?

The point is,
their drill sergeants
out there in the field

didn't have the time to
explain everything a dozen
times over to these guys.

As far as I'm concerned,
they shouldn't have to.

But that's strictly
between you and me, okay?

Okay.
ALL: Hoo-ah,
Drill Sergeant!

SERGEANT: I can't hear you!

ALL: Hoo-ah,
Drill Sergeant!

MURDOCH: So the squeakers
we're talkin' about
are in your file.

So why don't you just
send the squeakers home?

That's a darn good question.
Ask the Colonel.

He keeps insisting,
if we can help 'em
do push-ups,

we can give 'em a hand
in the brain department.

That's where you come in,
Wild Bill.

You're it for these guys.

Last chance saloon.
Sergeant Save-it.

Is it much further?

What's this?

Oh, isn't that a thing
of beauty?

That's our victory tower.
Biggest one in the country.

We give 'em
physical confidence.

Doesn't do much good,
though, if they got
sawdust for brains.

Basically what we need you
to do is to get 'em to think
a little better on their feet.

That's all.

(SCREAMING)
Oops.

Must be one of yours, Bill.
(LAUGHING)

BILL: So let me get
this straight.

The Colonel selected these
eight kids for his program...
Right.

...and you want me
to teach these guys
how to comprehend?

Yes, sir.

SERGEANT:
Hard stroke left!
RECRUITS: Kill!

Thrust!
RECRUITS: Kill!

Are they saying "kill"?

You betcha.

RECRUITS: Kill! Kill!
SERGEANT: Thrust!

BILL: Victory what?

"Victory Starts Here."

That's Fort McClane's motto.
Novel.

Here it is, Bill.
Home sweet home.

(RECRUITS SINGING)

They never stop singing.

What about my car
and all my stuff?

Don't worry
about a thing, Bill.
It's all taken care of.

Would you like
to do the honors?

Yeah. (SIGHS)

I've died and gone to
Gomer Pyle's house.

MURDOCH: He's a marine, Bill.

What did I tell ya?

(DOOR CLOSES)
Bill...

Your bedroom with
a closet and latrine
are right over here.

BILL: Mmm, elegant.

Come on. Lots to see.

And you were worried
about your stuff.

All-purpose table.
And...

You share this
lovely kitchen with
the people next door.

What?

It's a Scandinavian thing.

Simplicity of design.
Economy.

Uh, the Swedes, I think.

You ever wonder
why so many of 'em
blow their brains out?

(CHUCKLES)
I'm gonna use that one.

Well, I'll let you get
washed up, Bill.

You got 40 minutes
till your first class.

Cheer up, will you?
You're serving
your country now.

(DOOR CLOSES)

(EXHALES)

I'm honored.

I won an advertising award.

What am I doin' here?

(SIGHS)

Maybe I could hock it.

(RECRUITS CHANTING)

Hi. (CHUCKLES)

I'm Bill Rago.
Uh, welcome to...

The first class
in basic comprehension.

(EXHALES)

I've never taught before...

And you've never
thought before. (CHUCKLES)

So good luck to all of us.

(SIGHS)

Oh.

(MUMBLES) What am I gonna do?

MAN: Left! Left, right, left!
RECRUITS: Warriors!

Left! Left! Left, right!
Warriors!

Left! Left! Left, right!
One, two, Warriors!

Left! Left!
Left, column right, march!

Left! Left!
Left, right, left.

Left! Left!
Left, right, left.

Squad, halt!

(MARCHING STOPS)

Left, face!

Sir! First squad reporting
for instructions, sir!

Sound off!

Sir, Private Myers,
1024, sir!

Sir, Private Benitez,
7061, sir!

Sir, Private Haywood, 389...

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa...

(CHUCKLES) Lighten up. Uh,

you guys
don't have to do this.
This is just a class.

We're not invading
Angola here. (CHUCKLES)

Uh...

Um...

Sir, permission
to speak, sir.

Yeah, sure, speak.

Sir, what should
we call you, sir?

Bill.

(CLEARS THROAT)

Uh, sir!
I think the private means
your rank, sir!

Well, I don't have one.
I'm a civilian.

Oh, man.
What?

You got to be kidding me.
They let a civilian in here?
I don't believe this.

To teach the Double-Ds?
Who do you think they
gonna get, Colin Powell?

SQUAD LEADER: Squad, sit.
I ain't no Double-D, homeboy.

You speak
for your damn self.

So, wait, hold up.
You in here by accident?
You somebody special?

I don't think so.
Sit your dumb Double-D
ass down, Haywood.

Screw you, you ass-wipe.

Screw you!
(ALL ARGUING)

Sit down.

You wanna sit me down
or you want me
to sit you down?

Haywood! Haywood!
Hey, stop it! Stop it!

Whoa, whoa. Guys, guys.
Haywood, sit down.

Yo, yo.
Sit down. Sit down.

That's Shaolin, see?
Why don't you do something?

What do you want me to do?

Haywood, sit down.
Whoo!

Hey! Hello? Hello!

(ALL ARGUING)

(WHISTLING)

What the hell's
goin' on here?

That dumb-ass hillbilly
talkin' that bullshit.

Look at your dumb ass.
Haywood, please!

Look, you don't wanna be here
and I don't wanna be here.

(ALL EXCLAIM)
You got that right.

So let's just make
the best of this, okay?

God! Squeakers.

And what's a Double-D?

The whole fort calls
us Double-Ds.

Yeah! Dumb as Dog-shit.

(BOTH BARKING)

(HOWLING)

All right, I'm supposed
to take attendance now.
So, uh,

help me out, all right?

(WHISPERS)
I'll help you out.

Benitez, Donald.

Yup, yup.
That's me. Present.

New York City, New York.

(SCOFFS) Who would
have guessed?

You're killin' me, Haywood.
You're killin' me.

HAYWOOD: I just might.

Haywood, uh... Here we go.

Tommy Lee.

Present, sir.
Tommy Lee Haywood.
Willacoochee, Georgia.

Is that as small
as it sounds?

No, sir.

Sooey! Small?
This boy grew up in a cave.

His mother come
downstairs every morning,
talking about...

(STOMPING) "Tommy Lee!
"It's time for breakfast.

"Run on out there
and scrape us up
a squirrel.

"We're gonna have us
a roadkill omelet."

Ah, back at ya.

BILL: Hobbs, Roosevelt.

Uh, it says here
you're from Detroit?
Mmm-hmm.

What part?

The part you drive
through doin' 85.

Been there.

Mmm-hmm.

Is anybody else from Detroit?

Hoo-ah.
MYERS: Yeah.

Miranda Myers,
it says Cleveland here.

Yeah, I lived there, too.
I lived in Pittsburgh,

St. Louis, Miami, LA.

Hmm.
Seattle.

Any particular reason?

My mother liked to drive.

Sounds like she liked
that back seat
kinda ride, too.

Excuse me.

BILL: All right, all right.
Ow! Yo!

Now, you deserved that.
True.

She hit harder
than you, Haywood.
HAYWOOD: Very funny.

Leroy Jackson.

Yes, sir.

Um, but that's
Jackson Leroy, sir.

Oh, sorry.

It says here
you play football.

Yes, sir. Well, I...
I did for a while.

All-state.

Yeah. Um... Yeah.

This boy was all-planet.
I seen him one time pick off
a pass and go 90 yards

through the other team
like, bang!

Left 'em all on the field.
Dead. This boy got skill!

Gimme some love, kid.
Give it to me.

Two times. Go ahead,
sit on down, Heisman boy.

You should have
won the Heisman.

What?
Uh...

Brian Davis, Jr., sir.
Grand Forks, North Dakota.

Hey, Bill, ask him
about his daddy.
Yeah.

BENITEZ: Go ahead, ask him.
Shut up, Benitez!

BENITEZ: You shut up.

"My daddy was the bravest
and neatest soldier..."

Hey. Everybody, shut up.
"...in the whole wide world."

God!

Um, Melvin, Mel.
Charlotte, North Carolina.

Melvin Melvin?

(SNORING)

Is he up?
MYERS: Mmm-mmm.

(WHISPERS) Mel.

He does this
sometimes, Bill. Mel.

Hey, Bill,

he was at the BRM yesterday
in the hole with his rifle,
just like this.

(MIMICS SNORING)

And you're...

Me? (CLEARS THROAT)

Montgomery, Jamaal,
from Detroit, Michigan.

Uh, Jamaal, you mind
letting these people
speak for themselves?

How he gonna speak?
That boy droolin'
down his chest.

Well, none of the others are.
You got a wise comment
for everybody.

Hey, but, Bill,
what's the matter?
I'm tryin' to help you, man.

I'm your assistant.
What's what?

Yeah, well, you're succeeding
in bein' an asshole.

Aw, thank you!

Hey, he can't do that.

Hey, you can't do that.
You can't do that.

You cannot do that.
It says in the rule book...

Thank you.
Just shut up!

No soldier shall be
singled out

for excessive abusive
mistreatment of any kind!
That's regulation.

Leroy, I want a new teacher.
He can't do that.
Shut up.

Shut up?
Shut up.

BILL: All right, all right.

(SIGHS) So much
for attendance.

So, Mr. Rago,
what are you gonna teach us?

That's a good question.
Anybody got any ideas?

How 'bout teachin'
somebody to get a job?

Uh... (SIGHS)

All right.

Uh, we'll begin
with language skills.

Everybody will
read something. What?

Not for nothin'. I mean,
I don't see any books.

Maybe you do,
but I don't see 'em.

You know what I'm sayin'?

All right.

Then we'll all
write something.

Uh, would you hand
these out for me?

BENITEZ: Hoo-ah!

Here you go. Thanks.

Um, start now
and have these ready
for the next class.

Uh, write about...
Why you're here.

This is where
they told us to come.

No. I...
I mean, the magical twist
of fate that prompted you

to gravitate toward this
institute of imbeciles.

What?

Write why you joined
the army.

Why I joined the army.
(CHUCKLES)

I joined to be with you,
Billy boy.

Do you want us to, like,
write that at the top, sir?

"Why I joined the army"?

(SIGHS)

(BUGLE PLAYING)

(GROANS)

(TROOPS SHOUTING)

(BANGS TABLE)
(GROANING)

(SHOUTING CONTINUES)

What the heck's
goin' on here?

What the heck is goin' on
at 4:30 in the morning?

(SHOUTING CONTINUES)

I hate this place!

A bunch of banshees! What?

You have to do this here,
on my lawn?

Can't you take it
six blocks down the road?

What are you doin' here?

Oh, that's it.
I can't stand this job.
I'm out of here.

Platoon, attention!

ALL: More P.T.,
Drill Sergeant! More P.T.!

We like it! We love it!
We want more of it!

Make it hurt, Drill Sergeant!
Make it hurt! Whoo!

BILL: Find me something.
I'll do it for free.

If they like it,
they can pay me.

I'll work nights.
Nobody sleeps
around here, anyway.

No, no, no, you're not
listening to me, Jack.

You're not listening.
Screw my pride!
I'll take anything!

I... I'll write papers
for your children!

Do you hear this?

(SHOUTING CONTINUES)

It's the sound of hell.

ALL: Seven! Eight! Nine!

Ten! Eleven!

(TROOPS SHOUTING)

Go, Navy!

(GRUNTS)

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

Eat your beans, Haywood.

That's good brain food.

(CHUCKLES)
Oh, why bother?

No, no, no.
Pay him no mind,
Tommy Lee. Okay?

Right. You took it all,
now eat it all!

Eat, eat, eat, eat.

You got more than me.

I could kick his ass.

I could kick his ass.

I could definitely
kick his ass.

Double-Ds. Dumb as Dog-shit.

(GIRLS LAUGHING)

Dumb, huh?

Well, let me
tell you somethin'.

I'd rather be a Double-D
than a swinger from
the ugly tree, you fat pig.

GIRLS: Ooh!
(LAUGHTER)

You're bad.

Nice goin', Myers.

"Swingin' from
the ugly tree"?
(LAUGHS)

Damn.

DRILL SERGEANT:
Anything left on your plate,
we'll do extra push-ups!

You know, Mel, cling peaches
were my daddy's favorite.

Give me a break,
will ya, Junior?

My daddy this,
my daddy that.

How many freakin' times
do we have to hear
about your daddy?

Eat!

Eat! Eat! Eat! Eat!

We eat now,
we taste it later!

Where did all this
freakin' food come from?

(ALL LAUGHING)
Eat! Eat it!

(INDISTINCT CONVERSATION)

All right.
Who wants to start?

Nobody? (SNORTS)

I thought this was
the volunteer army.

You tryin' to diss us?
You can't do that.

Leroy, tell him
he can't do that.

No, shut up, asshole.

Nah, man,
he's dissin' you.

Why you startin' with me,
Inbred Jed?

Sit over there and shut up.

Montgomery, you finished?
Is that the end of
the intelligent repartee?

All right.

Why don't we begin
with Haywood?

(CHUCKLES)

How come
I got to go first?

Because you're from
Wallahoochee, Georgia.

MONTGOMERY:
Get up there, boy.
Willacoochee, Bill.

Willacoochee.

(EXHALES)

"There's these woods
behind our trailer park.

"This old guy lives
in the woods there,

"and everybody in town
swore he was crazy.

"He showed me
how to hunt..."

(YAWNING)

"...how to be real quiet,
how to listen.

"He said he had seen
everything in the world
there was to see.

"And that's why
he ain't never wanted
to leave those woods.

"Well, me and my daddy got
laid off at the paper mill.

"Whilst I spent
about five months

"watchin' TV
with my brothers,

"I kept thinkin'
of what the old man said.

"Finally, I decided
that I did wanna see
more of the world,

"than what was behind
that trailer park,

"so I joined up."

"I liked living
with my Aunt Mavis
in Chicago the best.

"But last summer,
my mother Ruthie came back

"and we drove to Atlanta.

"She said we don't
have to stay long,

"but then she met
a man and take off.

"I waited around for a while
for her to come back,

"but everybody keeps sayin',
'Just go on home.'

"I don't know
where that is.

"So I take the bus
to Cleveland

"and spend two days
staring at the poster
behind the driver

"that said,
'Be All You Can Be.'

"So I think about that
for a week

"and then I think,
'I gotta be somewhere,'

"so here I am."

"In my crib,
there ain't never been
a time when we eat,

"or sleep, or nothin'.

"You know, everybody
just runs around crazy.

"Half the time,
I don't even know
who they are."

(SCOFFS)

"I must be the only person
in the world to join the army

"so he'd know
exactly what time
he was eatin' lunch."

I wanted to learn
a new trade.

Sergeant Cass.
Afternoon, sir.

BILL: Brian Davis, Jr.

Sir, yes, sir.

(CLEARS THROAT)

"Why I Joined the Army,
by Private Brian Davis, Jr.

"I wanted to be
in the army for
as long as I can remember.

"I never really knew my dad,

"'cause he died in Vietnam
when I was a baby.

"His name was Brian, too.

"My whole life my mama
showed me pictures of him,

"and read me his letters,
and told me how
he was a hero."

Bullshit, man.
He wasn't no hero.

He was so!

How you gonna
prove that, huh?
You got no proof.

DAVIS: I don't need
any proof!
Hey, hey, hey.

Get it through
your thick skull.
Your daddy was no hero.

MONTGOMERY:
Read my lips, Davis.

MYERS: Why don't
you all shut up!

He's selling you a dream.
DAVIS: No, I'm not!

Would you knock it off
and let him finish?
DAVIS: My mom told me!

BILL: Can't you leave him
the hell alone?

BENITEZ: Your mommy
made it up.

HAYWOOD: Cut it out, Benitez!

Go ahead.

"She told me about
how he was a hero

"who died for his country.

"I think that if my daddy
was alive today,

"he would want me
to be in the army, too,

(CRYING) "so I could
learn to be brave."

I'm sorry.

That's okay. It's all right.
Take it easy.

(CLEARS THROAT) So, um,

"I guess the real reason
I... I joined the army

"was to get
a better education

"so I could get
a better job."

And that's why.

"When I was a kid,

"I used to love summers,
'cause there was no school."

(ALL LAUGH)

"I had to babysit
my kid sister,
but I didn't mind too much.

"I mean, we'd fight a lot,
but, you know,
mostly we just...

"We just used to kid around.

"She wanted to be a dancer.
She was pretty good, too.

"One day,
a couple of summers ago,

"I sent her up to the store
to buy some milk.

"Now, the bullet
was meant for the dude
comin' out of the store,

"but killed her
just the same.

"She was only 13.

"I still miss her a lot,
but I always miss her
more in the summer.

"After that I decided
that being part of a gang

"didn't seem like
such a good idea.

"So I joined this gang."

That good enough, Mr. Rago?

Yeah.

MAN: How you doin', sir?
Let's have a coin check.

BILL: Can I have
a Dewar's, please,
with seven Aspirin back?

Oh.
Seven Aspirin? You okay?

Yeah. Oh, Jesus.

I mean, some of the stories
that these kids have.

I can't...
I can't believe it.

(SIGHS) It's really
somethin', huh?

Everybody's got a story.

You wanna hear
my story, Bill?

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

Not now, Tom. Some other time.

Well, you know what I think?

What's that, Tom?

I think the whole educational
system is in deep trouble.

You see, after their families
let 'em down,

they go to what's left
of their schools.

The teachers are underpaid.

They're scared,
so they stop teaching.

But that doesn't stop 'em
from handing out

high school diplomas
like they were toilet paper.

So that means
we gotta take 'em.

Country better
shape up soon, though.

We're going to hell
in a handcart.

But that's strictly
between you and me, right?

Yeah.

(KNOCKING BAR)

Could I have
my Aspirin, please?

Sir.

DRILL SERGEANT:
Swing up and stand on...
No! Stand on the log!

You ready to quit?
No!

You ready to quit?
No, you aren't.
No. No, Drill Sergeant!

All right. Get the hell
back up there!

Come on, this is not
that complicated.

Forty-one, Drill Sergeant!

No, Private, it's not 41.
(LAUGHS)

You're reading
the wrong numbers.
Read the red numbers.

One, two, three!
(GROANS)

You've got to be kiddin' me.
No, Drill Sergeant!

Three weeks, motor mouth.

Three weeks, you have yet
to show me a real push-up.

All right, Drill Sergeant.
I expect to get this one
pretty good.

They've all got to be good!
All of them!
(GROANS)

Two fingers. That's what
it's supposed to be,
two fingers.

Understand that,
Private Myers?

Yes, Drill Sergeant.

DRILL SERGEANT:
Keep movin', Benitez.
All the way to the end.

Don't stop there!
Don't... Come on!
Get back to the line!

Go back to the start
of the line! Hurry up!

You're gonna make it, Benitez.

All right, time's up.

Who wants to talk
about what they read?

Benitez, come on up here.

All right.

What are you readin'?
Archie comic.

Okay.

I mean,
what's up with Jughead?
Archie's got Betty.

And you got Reggie
with Veronica.

I mean,
what's up with Jughead?
He got nobody.

That's no excuse,
'cause he's ugly.

I mean, in my neighborhood,
it didn't matter
how ugly you were,

you always had a girl.

I don't know
what's the matter
with this guy.

And another thing, you guys,
maybe you could help me
out with this.

Mr. Rago, hold on a sec.

(GROANS)
Uh, here it is.

"Come on, Archie,
let's go to the
Malt Shop-ee."

What the hell's
a Malt Shop-ee?

They're always
talking about...
MONTGOMERY: Benitez.

What's a Malt Shop-ee?
You guys know?

Come here. Bring your
stupid ass over here.
Come here.

What's the matter with you?

What do you mean?

What are you doin'
readin' a comic book?

He said we could bring
anything we wanted.

I brought a comic book.
I like comic books.

All right. Knock it off.

You're here for education,
not to read comic books.
You're embarrassing me, boy.

Jesus!
That's stupid.

You could've got
something else at the P.X.

Yeah, like Batman
or Superman...
True that, man.

Come on, shut up!
...or Spider-Man.

(SIGHS) Oh, God.
BENITEZ: They scare me.

(MONTGOMERY LAUGHS)
Bunch of hyenas.

What's the book
you got, Mr. Rago?

This?
Yeah.

This is called Hamlet.

Hamlet. Yo, that's about
a little-bitty pig, right?

No, it ain't about
a little-bitty pig.

What's it about,
Billy boy?

It's about

sex, murder,
incest, insanity.

Ooh!

Shoot. Beats the hell
out of this garbage
I'm readin'.

(CLICKS TONGUE) Guns.

Sure does.

Pretty much beats the heck
out of any book ever written.

All right, Leroy.
LEROY: Yeah?

What are you readin'?

Uh, Sports Illustrated.
"Faces in the Crowd"
section.

You know,
why don't you tell us
more about your book?

Sounds more interesting.

BENITEZ: Yeah, who wrote it?

Well, it was written
by William Shakespeare.

You guys ever hear
of Shakespeare?

Yeah, I heard of him.
That guy's in Central Park
every summer.

Damn. The dude must've
got mugged a lot.

He's been dead
for almost 400 years.

You see that?
They killed him.
Yeah.

They killed him.
New Yorkers.
Yeah.

He wrote plays.

Plays.

You know,
like TV without the box.

Mmm.
Ah.

They didn't have
any TVs back then,
or movies.

Or that many books, even.

So everybody went
to the theater. Everybody.

Kings, queens, right down
to the working stiffs.

Hey, so, why don't you
read us some of that?

Skip to the page
with some incest

so we can make Haywood
feel at home.

MONTGOMERY: Sooey!
(LAUGHTER)

No, you... You guys
don't want to hear
about Hamlet.

What? What? What?
I guess we're not
smart enough, huh?

No, no, no, no, no.
It's just very...

I don't know, it's...
MONTGOMERY: Here we go.

What, what? It's just what?

It's complicated.

So? We're here.
We're listenin'.

(CLEARS THROAT)

Sit down.

Okay, okay.

All right,
here's the deal. Um...

Hamlet is, uh...

Uh, he's a prince.

All right? And, uh...

And he's away at college.
MONTGOMERY: Ah, rich kid.

Right? And he...
He gets word that
his father died.

Oh, no, Davis, please,
don't start cryin',
please.

Leave me alone, Benitez!
(CHUCKLING)

Forget about it.

Benitez, shut up, all right?

Chill.

Go ahead.

All right, so he comes home
from college for the funeral.

And when he gets back,
everything's fishy.
All right?

I mean, you ever hear
of the term,

"Something is rotten
in the state of Denmark?"

No, but in Apartment 3C,
my building, Ms. Leary,

every Thursday,
she always cooks the
corned beef and cabbage.

Mmm-hmm.
I tell you,

something sure
does smell rotten
in the state of New York.

All right.
It's the same kind of thing.
Oh, man.

That was dumb.
That was real dumb.

Leave him alone, man.

All right. So, anyway,
he gets back
and he's in mourning.

And less than a month
goes by,

and his mother
gets remarried.

Damn.

To his uncle.

What?
Uncle?

That's the incest part, okay?

So now, Hamlet spends
the rest of the play
trying to decide

whether he's got
the guts to go after
his uncle, the king,

and avenge
his father's death,

or if he wants to just
go with the flow

and do what his mother
is tellin' him to do.

Oh, no.
Don't go out like
that, Hamlet. Uh-uh.

So, well,
where I am in the play...
(CLEARS THROAT)

He's with his mother
and the king,

and she's trying
to cheer him up.

And she says,

"Good Hamlet,
cast thy nighted color off,

"And let thine eye
look like a friend on Denmark.

"Do not forever
with thy vailed lids

"Seek for thy noble father
in the dust."

What? Huh?

Hey, you want
to lay that down
one more time?

Yeah, please.

Well, it's...
It's really easy.

You just gotta listen to it,
all right?

"Cast thy nighted color off."
Well, what color do we wear
at a funeral?

Black.

Black!

A nighted color.

She's tellin' him
not to wear black,
to stop mourning.

HOBBS: Right. Right.
BILL: Right?

Uh...

It says,
"Let thine eye look like
a friend on Denmark."

Which means she's sayin'
don't glare at me
as though you hate me.

Why should he?
His father's body's
not even cold yet

and she's given
the punani to Uncle Joe.

MONTGOMERY: Right, right.

Something like that.
Only it's Uncle Claudius.

What the hell is a punani?

MONTGOMERY: Cave boy
never heard of punani!
(ALL LAUGHING)

Hey, Mr. Bill,
when my daddy
split on my mama,

he moved in with, uh,
with her sister, who is,
of course, my auntie.

And I got a baby cousin
who's also my baby sister.

That's sort of the same
thing that we're talking
about, ain't it?

Mel speaks. (CHUCKLES)

(APPLAUSE)

(WHISTLING)
Glad to have you, Mel.

All right, all right.
I got a question.

Yes?

Now, if "look like a friend"
means "don't hate me,"

why don't she just say,
"Don't hate me?"
Hoo-ah!

Because it's poetry.

Yeah, but it don't
even rhyme, yo.

Yeah, but it's like,
you know, uh...

It's language.

It's trying to put things
together that evoke a...

A certain...

It sounds better.

Uh, what do you mean?
I mean, it doesn't sound
like anything to me.

I... I don't get it.

Yeah. Come on, Teach.
Teach us.

It's... All right.
It's a simile.

A what?

A simile. All right, here.

BENITEZ: A simile.
BILL: Yeah.

MONTGOMERY: That's easy.
That's the little yellow
face with a smile on it.

I know that.
HOBBS: No, it's not.

MONTGOMERY: "Simile."
"Simile."

It's, uh,
when you take two things

that, um, don't seem alike,

but in a way, they are.

Huh?
Hmm?

All right.
All right, we're lookin'
for a simile. Haywood.

Um...

You're, uh...

You're workin' in
the mill and, uh,

you come home,
or you're on your way home.

You go to a bar,
you stop for a brew.

And in the bar,
down at the end of the bar
is a beautiful woman.

And she winks at you.

All right?
You go to her, like...
Fill in the blank.

(MUMBLING) I don't know.

Like a rooster with an itch!

(ALL CHUCKLE)

Like a rooster
with an itch.

Way to go, Davis.
You gotta love
those barnyard similes.

All right, that was a simile.
Way to go.

BILL: Now, here's somethin'
else, a metaphor.

All men are...

Dogs.
Dogs.

Oh.
BILL: Okay, you got it?

Simile, "Like dogs."

Well, here's metaphor.
We just plain are dogs.

Okay? All right.
Now, this is a good one here.
All right, let's see.

"Oxymoron."

Hey, hold up, hold up,
hold up, hold up.

You can't do that.
That is a diss.

I ain't no ox-moron.
All right?

No, no, no, no.
Not ox-moron, schmuck.
Oxymoron.

It's when you take two
words that are totally
the opposite,

and you jam 'em together.
All right? Like, uh,
"Military intelligence."

"Dark victory."

"Thunderous silence."

Hmm?

"Girly man."

(ALL CHUCKLE)
He's talkin'
about you, Benitez.

All right. Okay, so...
BENITEZ: You're killin' me.

Let's end the class
with, uh, an oxymoron
from Shakespeare himself.

"Parting is such
sweet sorrow."

If you say so!

Take it easy, Billy boy.
LEROY: Fall in outside.

Two times.

Thanks, Mr. Bill.
See you tomorrow.

Hoo-ah.

Thanks, Mr. Rago.
That was neat.

Take care, Bill.
Take it easy, Rocko.

(SIGHS)

I'm teachin' Shakespeare.

(CHUCKLES)

That is, uh, "Parting
is such sweet sorrow."

All right. All right.

Readin' Hamlet
to the Double-Ds.

(ALL SHOUTING)
Come on!

I've been waitin' for this!

(GRUNTING)

Beat him down!
Let's go!

Kick his ass!

MAN: Come on!

(HELICOPTER HOVERING)

Hey! Hey!
Huh?

You must be Bill.

Yeah, that's me.

Yeah. You don't seem
to mind them calling
you that.

Okay if I do
the same, Bill?

No problem.

Listen, Bill,
I'd appreciate it
if you'd employ

a bit more discipline
in your classroom.

Would that be
too much to ask?

I mean, this isn't Harvard
Yard here. This is a...

Whoa, whoa, whoa,
Lou, take it easy here.

Who the fuck is Lou?

What's your problem?
I'm just walkin' here.

You got a bug up
your ass or something?
You know what I think, Bill?

I think your
whole class thing
is a bunch of bullshit.

I think you're
wastin' my time.

Your time?
That's right.

It's their class.
I don't see you
in the class,

so lighten up, will you?

Their time
is my time, Bill.

Now, I have exactly
54 days to teach
these young kids

what it takes to save
lives in combat.

In combat, Bill!

Now, I don't think
they're gonna learn that

writing a bunch
of touchy-feely
little papers

for the English
teacher. No.

They're gonna learn that
out here with me!

I'm gonna be
certain of that.

Now, that's my mission,
Bill.

And I can handle it,
'cause it's my job.

Yeah, well, you do your job
and I'll do mine, all right?

Yeah. You know
what the difference
here, Bill, is?

I care about what I do.

(TROOPS CONTINUE SHOUTING)

Do him, Haywood!

(GRUNTS)

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

Lady and gentlemen,
it's show time!

MONTGOMERY:
Oh, Showtime at the Apollo.

What's this?

This is Hamlet.

I figured that since
we have to do something,

we might as well
do something that I love...

Hoo-ah!

...and that you showed
a little bit of interest in.
So here.

Uh, put your desks
in a circle facing
each other.

ALL: Hoo-ah.

You mean you want us
to read this stuff?

Yeah, Benitez,
even you can do it.

Plus, it cost me nine bucks
to run those things off.

All right, Billy boy,
it says here,

"Show me the steep
and thorny way to heaven..."

Uh, "While-es, willis,

"like a puff-ed and reckless
liber-tin-ay..."

"Libertine."

"Libertine."
Hey, yo. You gonna come
translate this for us?

Why? It's in English.

Uh-uh.

Now, Roosevelt Hobbs,
you be Hamlet.

All right.

Benitez, you're gonna
be Hamlet's best friend,
Horatio.

That's cool, bro.

Okay, Miranda Myers,
you will be
Hamlet's girlfriend,

the fair Ophelia.

Hey, she ain't
exactly fair.

Quiet. Melvin.
HOBBS: Mighty fair to me.

Melvin! Mel.

Melvin, when you wake up...
(SNORING)

...you will be Polonius,
Ophelia's father.

Leroy.
Hmm.

You'll be Ophelia's
brother, Laertes.

Right. Gotcha.

Montgomery, you're the ghost.

The who?
The ghost.

(HAYWOOD SNORTS)

You're the ghost
in the hood.

(IMITATES HAYWOOD)
"Ghost in the hood."

(BLABBERING)
(SIGHS)

Haywood,

you're the king.

Thank you, Bill.

Damn, I should
have been the king.

Davis, you will be
Queen Gertrude,
Hamlet's mother.

(ALL LAUGHING)

Sir, isn't that
a woman's part?

Alas, Private Davis,
we have but one woman
in our class.

One.
So...

But, sir, I'd really prefer
another part.

Relax, Davis.

You'll be reassured to know
that in Shakespeare's day,

all the parts
were played by men.

What?

Yeah. Yeah. That's right.
MYERS: Wait a minute.

Romeo and Juliet
were a couple of guys?

Correctamundo.

Bill, you know
as well as I do

a guy playing a girl
is plain filthy!

Especially if it's gonna
be my wife.

That's your woman.

That's your woman.
HAYWOOD:
Will you shut up, Leroy?

"Oh, they say, Jove laughs.

"O gentle Romeo,

"If thou dost love,
pronounce it faithfully.

"Or if thou think'st
I am too quickly won,

"I'll frown and be perverse
and say thee nay,

"So thou wilt woo.

"In truth, fair Montague,
I am too fond,

"And therefore thou mayst
think my behavior light.

"But trust me, gentleman,
I'll prove more true

"Than those that have
more cunning to be strange."

Hmm.

"I should have been
more strange,

"I should have
been more strange,
I must confess,

"But that thou
over-heard'st,
ere I was 'ware,

"My true love's passion.

"Therefore pardon me,

"And not impute this
yielding to light love,

"Which the dark night
hath so discovered."

You know, that shade of blue
really brings out your eyes.

(ALL LAUGHING)

See?

Hoo-ah.

No problem. All right.

(TROOPS YELLING)

(GRUNTS) All right,
let's go, ladies. Come on.

That's it, baby Huey.
Come on, now! Move it!

"Do not saw the air
too much with your
hand thus..."

(TROOPS YELLING)

(SHOUTING)

No, no, no, no, no.
Give me that.

You step in,
and then step in
with the right foot.

Step in with
the right foot.
All right, Drill Sergeant.

So what Hamlet's father,
the ghost, is tellin' him,

that because he was killed,

poisoned in his sleep
in the afternoon,

with his sins
still on his soul,

that he can't get a pass
straight to heaven.

He's stuck in purgatory.

All right, soldiers.
Close your eyes and break
the seal on the mask.

Do it!
Keep your mouth closed,

and do not inhale the gas
under any circumstances.

Drill Sergeant.
Too easy, Drill Sergeant!

(COUGHING)

(PEOPLE CHEERING)
(GRUNTING)

All right, good, good,
Melvin. See how good
it is when you stay awake?

Hamlet's confronted
his mother,

and she knows
deep down in her soul

she's gonna
have these stains
forever on her soul.

That's deep, man,
stain on her soul.

Way deep. Right?
Mmm-hmm.

(TROOPS SHOUTING)

Queen Gertrude.

DRILL SERGEANT: Yeah. Yeah.
Too easy, Hobbs, huh?
(GRUNTS)

"Neither a borrower
nor a lender be...

"Before..."

No.

"For loan oft loses both

"itself and friend.

"And borrowing

"dulls the edge of husbandry.

"This above all,

"to thine own self be true."

Melvin, all right.
Melvin, stop.

You can say the rest
when you come out
of the coma.

Sit down. Look, look.
You gotta...

You gotta say it
to a beat, you know?

Uh, does anybody
play the drums?

BOTH: Hoo-ah.

Both of you?

All right then.
Whack this out
on the desk.

(VOCALIZING)

Come on, Haywood,
get with it. Let's go.

Give him time, give him time.
He's a white boy.

(BILL VOCALIZES)

So you say the lines
to the beat. And you...
You hear it?

(ALL DRUMMING)

Do I hear 'em
bangin' on the desk?

No, this, fool!
(VOCALIZES)

"This above..." Get up.

"This above all,
to thine own self
be true." Say it.

"This above all,
to thine own self be true."

ALL: "This above all,
to thine own self be true.

"This above all,
to thine own self be true.

"This above all,
to thine own self be true.

"This above all,
to thine own self be true.

"This above all,
to thine own self be true."
Come on, Mel!

"This above all,
to thine own self be true."
Come on, Mel!

"This above all,
to thine own self be true."
Go, Mel, go!

"This above all,
to thine own self be true."
BILL: You got it!

"This above all,
to thine own self be true."

Way to go, Mel!
Give me five! Mel Melvin!

(ALL CHEERING)
Yeehaw!

ALL:
♪ One, two, three, four
One, ho! Three-four!

DRILL SERGEANT:
♪ Tiny bubbles

ALL:
♪ Tiny bubbles

♪ In my wine

♪ In my wine

♪ Makes me happy

♪ Makes me happy

♪ Makes me feel fine

♪ Makes me feel fine ♪

HAYWOOD:
♪ Don't you tell my heart

(GROANS)

♪ My achy-breaky heart

That's cruel.

Whoo!
HOBBS: Damn, Haywood!

♪ Oh, if you tell my heart

♪ My achy-breaky heart

♪ I just don't think
he'll understand ♪

HOBBS:
Damn. Davis is thinking
about his daddy again.

BENITEZ:
I'll cheer him up.
Play along.

Hey, Davis, you should've
seen me in there.

(IMITATES DE NIRO)
"Never got me down,
Ray. Ya hear me?

"Never got me down, Ray."

Who's that?

Jake LaMotta.

Who?

You never seen
the movie Raging Bull?

No, I missed that.
You crazy?

(IMITATES DE NIRO)
Hey, Larry! Who's an animal,
Larry, huh?

Your mother's an animal!
I'm gonna eat your dog
for breakfast, Larry!

Ya hear me, Larry?
You're an animal.

What? I'm an animal?
What, are you crazy?
I'm an animal?

Huh? I'm not an animal!
I'm not an animal!

Stop! Stop!
Please stop. Stop.

Okay. Okay.

Thank you.

All right, I got mail call!

(ALL CHEERING)

All right. We got Abney.

We got Anderson.
Right here.

Judd.
ALL: Judd!

Whoa!

Bonner.
MAN: Hoo-ah!

Byrd.

MAN: Look out!
Montgomery.

Oh, man!
Montgomery.

Montgomery.
(ALL CHEERING)

Montgomery.

Ahhh!

Hey, give me that.

Albrecht.

See that, baby? See that?
Get on out. Yeah.

We got Melvin. Melvin!

Melvin!

Melvin!
MAN: Anybody home?

(LAUGHING)
Ho!

We got Ben.
We got Bartol.

And we got Scott!
MAN: Right here!

That's it, fellas.
(ALL GROAN)

Sorry, man.

Davis ain't gettin'
no letter, Junior?

Look, I got one.

From who?
From my brother.

Damn, I ain't got
a letter yet, Mel.
You gotta read that one to me.

MAN 1: Has anybody
seen my green socks?

MAN 2: We all got green socks.

Let's see what
he has to say.

"How ya doin',
how ya' doin',
how ya doin'..."

Let's see, uh...

Oh, listen. "Dad put new
Holleys on the Camaro

"so he could race it up
at the speedway.

"It was runnin'
like greased owl shit."

Hey, that's a simile, Mel.

Yeah, that is a simile,
ain't it?

Damn right.
(CHUCKLES)

Let's see. "Then Toby
drove it last week
and threw a rod,

"and Dad got mad and
threw him down the stairs."

This ain't my real dad.
It's my stepdad.

"Things are sure
different now that
you're in the Marines."

Marines?
Well, he's 12.

He gets 'em mixed up,
you know.

Ah.

"Dad don't have you
around anymore,

"so I guess he's startin' in
on his real kids."

Mel, what kind of Camaro
has he got, a Z-28?

Mel, you okay, Mel?

Mel?

(SIGHS) I ain't never
gonna hit my kids.

Oh, don't start
sleepin' again, Mel.

You know it ain't
gonna solve nothin'.

(SIGHS)

(EXHALES)

DRILL SERGEANT:
♪ Mama, mama, don't you cry

ALL:
♪ Mama, mama, don't you cry

♪ Little boy ain't gonna die

♪ Your little boy
ain't gonna die ♪

Oh! Oh, jeez!

What's the matter,
heart attack?

It's the food,
I'm tellin' you.

Oh, Jesus!

Junior, where you goin'?

DAVIS: I gotta go back!
We're gonna be late! Junior!

Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no!
No, no, no!

Stop, stop, stop, stop,
stop, stop! Wait, wait, wait!
What?

MAN: Come on, guys.
Oh, Jesus.

What's your freakin'
problem, Davis?

My bag!
My daddy's bracelet!

His what?

It's a Montagnard bracelet.
He got it in Vietnam.

He wore a bracelet?

Lots of soldiers
wore 'em over there.

I left it in
my shirt pocket.

So good.
Now it'll be clean.
Come on. Let's go.

Come on, man!
What if it gets lost?

Please, you gotta
help me, man.
It's all I got.

We gotta get this
to the quartermaster's
laundry on time.

(IMITATES AL PACINO)
I don't care what
you gotta do.

Just look for
the bracelet, okay?

All right.
What's his name?

His name
is Brian Davis, Jr.

Come on, man.
This is stupid.

Shut up, you!

I kill you, you cockroach!
Shut up!

Now look.

I gotta touch
the dirty clothes, man?
You kiddin' me.

Oh, shit.
Please, please.

Yes! Yes! Here it is.

Oh, man, thank you.
Thank you!

CASS: Prepare to uncover!

ALL: Ten, nine, eight,
seven, six, five, four,
three, two, one!

Freeze! I said freeze!

What was that again?
What time is it?

ALL: Drill Sergeant!
Breakfast is at 0600,
Drill Sergeant!

0600. That's correct.

Which, by my reckoning,
has come and gone,
has it not?

RECRUITS: Drill Sergeant!
Yes, Drill Sergeant!

Hi, Miranda.
CASS: I don't know.
Maybe it's me this morning.

I just can't seem to hear ya.
I don't hear that...

Benitez! Davis!
Front and center!

You wouldn't happen
to have the time,
would you, Private?

Sorry, Drill Sergeant.
Slight problem with the
laundry, Drill Sergeant.

So does this building look
like a Denny's to you,
New York?

Mmm-mmm.
Huh?

Show me where it says,
"Breakfast served anytime."

Um...

Get on down there
and push 10. Push 10!

Drill Sergeant,
it was my fault,
Drill Sergeant!

Now, who was I talkin' to?
Was I talkin' to you?
One, two, three, four...

Drill Sergeant,
I asked him to help me
find my daddy's bracelet.

"My daddy. My daddy."
My daddy sent it home
to me before...

CASS: Your daddy
ain't here, son,

and your daddy
can't help you!

I don't know if anybody
can help you, high-speed.

But I'm sure...
BILL: Lou!

Lou, go easy on the kid.

What?

He's five minutes late.
I mean, talk about anal.

You must've been
toilet-trained at gunpoint.

(STIFLES CHUCKLE)

Come over here.
Come over here.

What? What, Lou?
Take it easy.
Come over here. Right here!

Don't you ever interrupt me
when I'm talkin'
to my soldiers.

He was five minutes late.
You understand me? Man!

You been on my bad side
ever since the day
I laid eyes on you.

Oh, yeah?
Now, you better
comprehend this, Bill.

You better get this down.

'Cause I have had it
with your smug
college-boy attitude.

Yeah?
Now you listen to me.
Stay away from me.

And don't you ever,
ever impugn my authority
in front of my soldiers.

Now, you got that, man?
Yeah, I got that.

You got it?
Yeah, I got it.

Now, that's point blank
and period.

(MUTTERING)

(CHUCKLES)

For the rest
of the week, Private,

you'll show up here
nine minutes early.

You will report here...
BILL: Davis.

Just show up to my class
nine minutes late is all,
you see? No problemo.

Oh, that's it! That is it!
What?

Drill Sergeant!

What? What? What?
Who do you think you are?

You gonna tell me
what to do, huh?

You're nothing!
You're nothing!
I'm nothing?

Did you hear what he said?
I'm nothin'!

Come on. Come on. Come on.
Come on. I'm right here.
Just let me...

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

Sir?

So they finally sent you
to the principal's
office, huh?

Yeah.

Man could've killed you,
Mr. Rago.

He would've been
court-martialed,
but he could've killed you.

He started it.

I don't know what happened,
and I don't care.

All I care about
is this program.

And I will not let you,
Sergeant Cass, or anybody
curtail its chances, okay?

Okay.

You never served
in the military,
did you, Mr. Rago?

No. My military experience
is limited to the day

that I walked for hours
in the rain

from Arlington Cemetery
to the White House

carrying the name
of a soldier

who died needlessly
in Vietnam.

Do you remember
the soldier's name?

No.

Do me a favor, Bill.

Whatever your
personal views are,
while you're here,

remember you are a guest
of the United States Army,
okay?

Okay.

From now on,
by the book.

Dismissed.

"By the book."

What am I doin' here?

"Spud Duds, Spud Duds.
Potato topping
for the whole family."

Hmm.

HOBBS: How late is he now?

MYERS: He's very late.
What difference does it make?

(EXHALES)
HOBBS: Damn.

MYERS: Why would he do this?

MONTGOMERY:
Hey, check it out.

We got us
a substitute teacher.
(ALL LAUGHING)

BENITEZ:
He looks just like Mel.
Bring it here, bring it here.

MONTGOMERY: Which
one is the dummy?

(HIGH-PITCHED VOICE)
Melvin. Wake up, Mel.

Time for school, Mel.

MONTGOMERY: So how long
are we supposed
to hang around?

Your war stuff looks good.
LEROY: He's just late.

BENITEZ: Maybe he got
sick or something.

MONTGOMERY: Yeah, sick of us.

Oh. Sorry I'm late.
HOBBS: Here comes the excuse.

The traffic really stunk.

MONTGOMERY:
Traffic? Whoo! See?

(LAUGHS) You ever notice
when you're in a hurry,

they radio-dispatch
all people to drive
in front of you?

It's ridiculous.
What?

Okay.

So where were we?

Where were we?
We were here.

ALL: Hoo-ah.

Give me a break, will ya?
I had something important.

That's all right, Bill.
We're used to it.

BENITEZ: That's for sure.

It was a job interview,
for cripes' sake.

HOBBS: A what?
MYERS: Job interview?

MYERS: I thought
this was your job.
Mmm-mmm.

We're part-time,
like a paper route.

Oh, come on.
Hey, what do you want
from me?

Not much, I guess.

Let's get out of here.
Who needs him?

Huh?

Yeah, look,
we got Victory Tower
at 1700, sir.

Yeah. Everybody,
fall in outside.

BILL: I don't
believe you guys!
You stay and listen.

Yeah. We ain't nothin'
but a hobby to you.

BENITEZ: Hey, Davis,
we'd better go.

We might get stuck
behind some old people.

You guys are never late,
right, Benitez?

HAYWOOD: Last time I come
to this damn class.

I got 15 minutes left!

I stood up for you, Davis.

Oh, sure.

Go ahead, go.

Oh, to hell with 'em.

If I lose 'em now,
I'll never get 'em back. Damn!

Victory Tower, Victory Tower,
Victory Tower, Victory Tower.

(ALL CHEERING)
CASS: Come on.
Let's go! Let's go!

Come on!

That's it, Leroy!
That's it!

Hand over hand!
Hand over hand!

CASS: That's good, Leroy!

Yes!

All right.
Outstanding!

Hey, look! Billy boy!

Oh, you are lookin'
at one puffin' and
reckless libertine!

Check that. Whoop!

Fish in the net!

Montgomery, Leroy,
you hold it!
Don't go anywhere!

I got 15 minutes
and I want 'em now!

Shakespeare,
what are you doin' here?

Hold on a second, Lou.

All right, I was late.
Big deal.

You guys gotta
give me a break.
Rago.

This is important, Lou.

No. No, Bill.
This is important. This.
This is why we're here.

This is what
we're here to do. Go!
Hold on a second.

Hobbs, hold on one second!

Come down from there!

Leroy!

Hobbs, I got 15 minutes
left, and I want 'em!

I don't think they want
to talk to you, Bill.

Montgomery!

Montgomery, get down here!

I don't even think
they can hear you.

RECRUIT: Come on, Davis.
Do this one for Daddy!
Make him proud!

You know, from down here.

Hey, wait a minute!
Just hold up, Drill Sergeant.

You can't just quit. Whoa!
That's what you been
doin' all your lives!

Davis! Hold it! Hold it!
Don't go nowhere.
Hold it. Whoa.

Okay, you guys got problems.

Well, so do I, goddamn it!

Move! Move, Davis!
Keep moving!

Mr. Rago, you're gonna
make me fall!

What the hell
are you lookin' at?

Ahhh!

CASS: Great, Oswald!
Whoa!

CASS: You don't want
to end up like him!

MONTGOMERY: Rago,
have you gone crazy?

CASS: Hey, Montgomery,
keep moving, keep moving!

Montgomery, where ya goin'?

I can't talk to you
right now, Mr. Rago!
Can't talk to you now!

CASS: That's it!

Hold it!
Get over there.

Davis!

Hold it. (GRUNTS)
CASS: Keep movin'!
Keep movin'!

You've gone
far enough, Mr. Rago.
All right? Now go down.

Do any of you have
the slightest idea

what it's like
to have mortgages...

RECRUIT: Get him. Get him.
...doctor bills,
alimony payments...

Wait till you have
your kids.

Then you talk to me
about priorities.

Then you tell me
what it's like to have
a little cash flow.

Davis, what the hell
are you doing?

You got up here.
Now you gotta get down.

Get on your knees
for safety, sir.

Huh? Jeez.

Whoa!

Oh, that's far.

CASS: Baby Huey!
HUEY: Hoo-ah?

Show Shakespeare
how we get down
from the Victory Tower.

Yes, Drill Sergeant!

Lane one on rappel!

Lane one on belay!

CASS: Let's go, Leroy!
Whoa.

Holy shit.

See ya on the ground,
Mr. Rago.

CASS: A-ha! Lookin' good!
(ALL CHEERING)

Whoa!

Outstanding.

Drill Sergeant.
Too easy, huh?

Too easy, Drill Sergeant.
(LAUGHS)

Your turn, Rago!

Your turn.

CASS: To be or not to be,
Shakespeare! What'll it be?

All right. Okay.
Come on.

Let's go! Let's go!
Mr. Rago, you do
not want to do this.

I'm doin' it. Let's go.

No! You do not want
to do this, sir.

What are you doin'?
You're clippin' him?

Watch the jewels. Ooh.
Clippin' him.
He wants to do it.

All right. Okay.
All right.

Put on the gloves,
Mr. Rago.

All right. Get down.
Get down.

You're gonna swing
your legs over the edge
of the platform here.

There's a ledge
right on the wood.

You got to get your feet
on the ledge.

(WHISPERING) Ledge, ledge.

Put your foot down
and find that ledge.
What ledge?

CASS: Come on, Rago!
The ledge.

There's a ledge.
No ledge! No ledge!

There's a ledge.
CASS: Let's go.

The ledge, right there.
Okay.

Come on. Get your foot on it.
Get both those feet on there.
All right.

All right,
now just lean back.

(GRUNTING)

Okay, first thing,
don't look down.

CASS: What the hell
you doin'?

Whoa! Ah!

I told ya
not to look down!

Everybody looks down
when you tell 'em not
to look down, you know that!

All right.

All right. Look, look.
Just lean back, relax.

Okay? Everything's
gonna be all right.
I got the rope up here,

and there's a guy down
there with the other end
of the rope.

Come on. Relax.
Just lean back.

Get the rope.
There you go.

All right You all right
down there, man?

Come on, Mr. Bill.
No sweat.

Melvin? He'll be asleep
before I reach the ground!

He's not gonna be asleep.
He's gonna be all right.
Just trust me, man.

All right.
The Victory Tower is yours.

Just let the rope slide.
Whoa!

(RECRUITS SHOUTING)
I'm dead! I'm dead!

Yeah!
Yeah! Lookin' good, Mr. Rago!

HOBBS: Gonna take you
all day to get down
that way, Rago.

Come on.
Guy's a joke, man.

(RECRUITS CLAMORING)

DAVIS: Come on!
Do it to a beat!

(GROANING)

CASS: Let's go, Rago!
DAVIS: One, two, three...

Good work. Come on.
Here we go.

HOBBS: Down. Yeah. Yeah.

(GROANING)
RECRUIT: Whoa!

DAVIS: Mr. Rago,
put your feet up!
Ow!

Feet up! Watch those jewels
you mentioned, Mr. Rago.

Turn around the other way!

Turn around! Right around!
That's the wrong way.

You gotta stay
in the "L" position.
That's the wrong way.

BENITEZ:
Take it easy, Mr. Rago.
Don't look down.

Pull me up! Pull me up!
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

Pull me up! Pull me up!
Whoa! Whoa! Hang on!

Don't worry, Mr. Bill,
I got you! Come on.

Don't let go, Mel!
Mel, Mel, don't let go!

MONTGOMERY:
He's got on dancin' shoes!

Go ahead and
dance down the wall!

LEROY: Damn, Bill,
be careful.

MONTGOMERY:
Flap your little wings!

Come on!

BENITEZ: Uh-oh,
the ball's dropping!

Whoa!
The ball's dropping!

Back up!
Whoa!

(LAUGHING)

BENITEZ: Happy New Year!

(WHOOPING)
All right!
Way to go, Rago!

(WHISTLING)
RECRUIT: Good work.

I knew you had
it in you, Mr. Bill.
Good job, Mr. Bill.

Not bad for
an old man, huh?

(APPLAUSE CONTINUES)

Tomorrow, 1600 hours,
right?

ALL: Hoo-ah!

Hoo-ah's right.

Good work, Mr. Bill.

You go, boy.
Loosen up them ropes!

He's the man.

(BILL GROANING)

You should've
wore a glove.

I did wear a glove.

Oh.

(CHUCKLES) I wish
I could've been there.

The guys must be
so proud of you.

Yeah. I'll remember that
when they're fittin' me
for a new hand.

(SIGHS)

Yo, why you always got
to be such a jerk? Huh?

(CHUCKLES)
That's what my kid
keeps askin' me.

You have a kid?

Yeah. Emily.

She wants to be
an astronomer.

Go figure.

Go figure what? What?

(GROANS)

All right.
Let's start swallowing
and digesting.

RECRUITS: Hoo-ah, hoo-ah!
Come on, Tommy Lee.

More Victory Tower,
Drill Sergeant.

I like it. I love it.
I want more of it.

Make it hurt,
Drill Sergeant!

Way to go, Mr. Rago.
Good work, Mr. Bill.

All right.
Do you mind if I sit here?

No, please.
MAN: Wait a second.

HAYWOOD: Damn, Bill,
you done tore that tower down!

Phew!

So what happened, anyway?

What?

Two-ten.
Nothin' but muscle.
Star fullback.

College scouts must've
been tossin' hookers
through your bedroom window.

Yeah, yeah. Just about.
I busted my knee
my senior year.

I mean, I can push on it
a little bit now, but...

Well, let's just say
it blew my shot.

Oh.

Isn't there somethin'
else you can do?

No, there's nothin' else
for me to do.

I was black and I played ball.
That's all anybody
ever cared about.

They didn't teach me anything,
but, oh, they kept passin' me.

Hmm.

So I'm here, you know?

My wife works on
the post here 'cause
we got a baby comin'.

Leroy Junior? Great!

Kid'll probably come out
wearin' a helmet,
get the Heisman.

I'm keepin' that kid as far
away from the playin' field
as I can.

Runnin' a football
never helped nobody pass
a civil service exam.

Least ways,
it never helped me.
Excuse me.

Hey, Leroy. Leroy.

Yeah, yeah.

You ever hear
of a guy named
Leon Battista Alberti?

Yeah, yeah. He played
for the 49ers, right?

Nah. He played for the 1400s.
The Renaissance.

The what?

He's what you'd call
a Renaissance man.

The guy was an architect,
a writer, a painter,
a musician, a scholar...

God knows what else.

But you know what I remember
most about him?

They say that he could
stand with his feet
together like this

and spring straight over
a man's head.

Really?
Yeah.

If Leon Battista Alberti
couldn't have done that,

I wouldn't have remembered
a thing about him.

So he was sort of like
a smart jock, then, right?

That's right. You got it.

Now, ain't that
an oxymoron?

That is. That is.
Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

(CHUCKLES)
Give me some. All right.

Talk to you later, Mr. Rago.
All right.

The real question is,

is Ophelia right?

Is Hamlet crazy?

Hobbs.

I don't know.
I think he's just
playin' the fool.

Go on.

Well, it's like he says.
Denmark's a prison.

Everybody's watchin' him
all the time, spyin' on him.

If he thinks
Denmark's a prison,

all he gotta do is
move to a trailer park.

Tiny little rooms,
six brothers and sisters.

I couldn't even take
a whiz by myself.

Gets to you, man.
It can make you crazy.

Imagine all your life
waitin', growin' up,

hopin' a tornado would come
and whoosh you out of there.

(RECRUITS LAUGHING)

That's not what
I'm sayin', man.

See, what I'm sayin'
is that Hamlet's actin'
crazy for a reason.

Give him some time to think,
plan his next move,

keep his eye
on everybody else.

You sure you're readin'
the same play?

Mr. Rago, from now on,
I'm sitting next to
my man Hobbs.

Smart move, Benitez.

Uh, all right.
That's it.

Okay? Let's call it
quits for today.

ALL: Hoo-ah.

LEROY: Fall in outside.
First aid today, fellas.

So how'd you get
to be so smart, huh?

Told you, girl. I been
around. I seen things.
Yeah!

Hobbs.
Yeah.

What's the deal, man?

Deal?

Where'd you go to school?

Well, lots of places.

You ever read
this stuff before?

(CHUCKLES) Nah.

Phew. Well, stick with it.
You're doin' fine.

"He who increases
knowledge
increases sorrow."

(WHISPERING)
Increases sorrow.
Increases sorrow.

Shakespeare?

Mmm-mmm. The Bible.

Even Shakespeare
has his superior.
(CLICKS TONGUE)

LEROY: Let's go, Hobbs!
Forward march!

Look, is there any way
you guys could have made
a mistake with this kid?

(LAUGHING) Us?
Make a mistake?

I'm telling you,
he doesn't belong in there.

He belongs in, uh,
lieutenant training school
or something.

You think I can wave a wand
and send this kid
to West Point?

Rago, come on.

I got guys sleepin'
in the rafters.

I got a flood
in the laundry.

And I just got a call
from the motor pool
tellin' me they lost an APC.

They lost it!

The thing's
the size of a tank!
How could they lose it?

It's a machine, Captain.
This is a human being
I'm talkin' about.

I mean,
this is a smart kid,
as good as they come.

Damn it, Bill,
it is just not that easy!

All right. Roosevelt Hobbs.
He deserves a shot.

Hobbs.

ALL:
♪ To be or not to be...

You got no rhythm.

(CHUCKLES)
Badda-badda... There!

♪ To be or not to be...

DAVIS: We gotta sing
at the same time?

MYERS: Yeah. Of course we do.
What do ya think I'm
trying to show you?

♪ To be or not to be...

(LAUGHTER)

♪ To be... ♪

MELVIN: Hey, hey!
Here he comes! I seen him.

Hurry up!
Everybody get ready!
Here we go.

HOBBS: Are you ready?
And...

RECRUITS: (RAPPING)
♪ They gotta know
They gotta know we gotta flow

♪ They gotta know
They gotta know, ho!

♪ They gotta know
They gotta know we gotta flow

♪ They gotta know
They gotta know, ho!

♪ They gotta know
They gotta know we gotta flow

♪ They gotta know
They gotta know, ho!

♪ They gotta know
They gotta know

♪ Come with me

♪ They gotta know
Cue it, check it out

♪ To be or not to be

♪ The Double-D MCs
are lettin' it be

♪ Let it be
To be or not to be

♪ MC Hobbs on the job
rippin' rhymes like the mob

♪ The shit's iller
than Cape Fear,
the Shakespeare saga

♪ Started with this prince kid
his moms and his father

♪ Till pops got took
for his props undercover
by his brother, man

♪ Now his brother's
King Lover, man

♪ Actin' real trite,
he took his brother's life

♪ For his green
and to sex up his queen

♪ But the prince,
he ain't goin' for it,
he's out for revenge

♪ His pop's ghost told him,
"Damn it, Hamlet,
those are your ends

♪ "So just chill
and cool for now

♪ "P-P-Play the fool
until ya take him out

♪ "'Cause all eyes is on you
So one way or the other

♪ "It's a kamikaze style
or do it undercover

♪ "But either way ya gotta
slay-ah, so what the hey-ah?

♪ "So strap on your black
and get set for the payback"

♪ Ain't got no gat
but he's sportin' a tool

♪ Strappin' a sword
for the Laertes duel

♪ 'Cause he's tryin' to blame
Hamlet for his sister's death

♪ But she took
her own last breath,
she ain't got shh left

♪ Never heard yet
a more absurd set

♪ Of circumstances,
murder and romances, so...

♪ Incest,
we had to put it to rest

♪ We had time to manifest,
he stuck the dagger
in the king's chest

♪ To be or not to be
The Double-D MCs
is lettin' it be

♪ Let be to be or not to be
♪ To be or not to be

♪ The Double-D MCs
is lettin' it be
♪ Ophelia

♪ Let be to be or not to be

♪ The Double-D MCs
is lettin' it be

♪ Let be to be or not to be

♪ The Double-D MCs
is lettin' it be ♪

Wow! Great!
(WHISTLING)

Great. Bravo. Bravo.
Go, Hamlet. Go, Hamlet.

ALL: Go, Hamlet.

Go, Hamlet. Go, Hamlet.

Go, Hamlet. Go, Hamlet.
Go, Hamlet.

MAN ON PA: Fire!
(GUNSHOTS)

Breathe, Haywood.

(CONSOLE BEEPS)

(GUNSHOTS CONTINUE)
(CONSOLE BEEPS)

DAVIS: Damn, Haywood!

Outstanding. Outstanding.

Drill Sergeant!
No problem, Drill Sergeant!
Too easy!

Outstanding, Haywood.

(GUNSHOTS CONTINUE)

You know, what ya need to
get is a Winchester .30-30
like my pa got.

Ain't nothin' that
can touch that rifle.

You know, you could
pick off a deer at
about 150 yards away,

but that's open-sight,
mind you.

That rifle
ain't got no scope.

Eh, don't listen to
him. Don't get no
Winchester .30-30.

You need to get yourself
a Galil, an Israeli
assault rifle.

All right? You can stick
on twin banana clips,

pump out 60 rounds
in three seconds.

That's what
I'm talkin' about.
Right? Yeah.

That's pretty good.

Yeah, that's a lot
of deer, I guess.

Lot of deer.

MAN: Right face!

At ease!
Carry on!

Go on, man.

Straight ahead, sir.

Which one, Sergeant?

(WHISPERING)
He's comin' to get me.
He's comin' to get me.

(CLEARS THROAT)

MURDOCH: Put down
your tray, son.

MAN: Mark time, march!

Oh, this is too long for me.

DRILL SERGEANT: Eyes front!

MURDOCH: Carry on,
Drill Sergeant.

What? What?
You were right.
He's a sharp kid.

His real name is
Nathanial Hobbs.

He doctored
his driver's license.

I hear it's the smart thing
to do in his line of work.

What? What?
He sold crack, Rago.

Apparently he was quite
the entrepreneur.

Wayne County Sheriff
has a warrant out
for his arrest.

Two counts possession.

I guess he thought he could
hide out in the army.

Sorry, Bill.

Damn it!

Damn it!

♪ Life in the streets
isn't easy

That's it.

You forgot about these.

♪ All I see is pain
and misery

♪ I kneel and pray
for the victory

♪ Strength and protection
to survive in this society

♪ A wild kid
out to get a bid

♪ Did some shit
that he never shoulda did

♪ But he paid the price,
lived real trite

♪ Ruined his life
and lived by the knife

♪ Had to learn the hard way

♪ But someday you gotta pay

Hold it! Wait!

Wait! Wait up!

Wait. Look.
I talked to Colonel James.

It's ridiculous.
It's the army.

Teach.

I don't know what to say.

Let it be.

(SIGHS) I'm sorry
this happened. I...

Just let it be, Teach.

♪ Statistics show
that kids with no dough

♪ Ain't got no chance
got nowhere to go

DAVIS: Good luck, Hobbs.

Bye.

LEROY: Stay up, Hobbs.

Poor bastard.
(SIGHS)

He had the stuff.

He could've made it.
(ENGINE STARTS)

♪ Life in the streets
is a mystery

♪ Don't know my friends
from my enemies

♪ Up the ladder
could be trouble

♪ But I'll hold on tight

♪ And I will never, never
give up the fight ♪

How ya doin', Miranda?
All right.

MONTGOMERY: You all right?
Mmm-hmm.

Keep your head up.

All right. Um...
We just, uh...

We just finished
the play within the play.

Um, so let's discuss
what happens.

Come on.
You know what happens.

Wanna know what happens?
I know what happens.

You try to stand up,
and they knock you down.

Then you show 'em
that you're smart,

and they get rid
of your sorry ass.

That's what happens.
That's right.

That's the way
it always goes.
Hoo-ah?

ALL: Hoo-ah.

A couple of days ago,

without discussing it
with him,

I went to the army
to ask them to look
into Hobbs' record.

You did what, man?
DAVIS: Oh, man!

MONTGOMERY: You did?

DAVIS: Oh, man!
MONTGOMERY:
What's the matter with you?

(RECRUITS CHATTERING)

I didn't know anything
about his past.

Neither did any of you.
Yeah, right.

I'm not sorry
for what I did.

I believed in his potential.
I wanted to see him succeed.

I am sorry for the result.

You sorry?

All I know is,
the choices we make

dictate the life we lead.

"To thine own self be true."

One, two, three...
ALL: One!

One, two, three...
Two!

One, two, three...
Three!

(GRUNTING)

Hey, excuse me, sir.
I'm out lookin'
for the base chapel.

Base chapel?
MAN: Yeah.

Go back around the curve
'til you reach the P.X.,
you hang a right.

Mmm-hmm.
You come to that line
of APCs, you turn left.

You go about a half a click,
you come to the RFPC building.

It's right around
the back. Got it?
Yeah.

PLATOON LEADER:
♪ Show the world
Yeah.

RECRUITS:
♪ Show the world ♪

Ma?

Ma, you home?

(LAUGHING)

Ahhh!

(WHIMPERING)

Daddy! (CHUCKLES)

BILL:
♪ Hamlet's mama,
she's the queen

ALL:
♪ Hamlet's mama,
she's the queen

♪ Buys it
in the final scene

♪ She buys it in
the final scene

♪ Drinks a glass
of funky wine

♪ Drinks a glass
of funky wine

♪ Now she's
Satan's Valentine

♪ Now she's
Satan's Valentine ♪

Left, left,
left, right...
Warriors!

♪ They come from the cities
and they come from
the smaller towns

MONTGOMERY:
They know the words, too!
♪ From the beat-up cars...

Come on. Change it!
No, this is good!

Boom! Bang!

♪ R-O-C-K in the U.S.A.

♪ R-O-C-K in the U.S.A.

♪ R-O-C-K in the U.S.A.
Yeah, yeah...

♪ Rockin' in the U.S.A.
Whoo!

Mr. Rago, that's funny.
All right, Mr. Rago,
the joke's over.

Change it now.
The joke is over.

It's gettin' scary
back here, Mr. Rago.

Here we go. Guitar.
(RADIO PLAYS GUITAR SOLO)

BILL: Go, Melvin!
Uh-oh! Uh-oh!

Ahhh!
(LAUGHING)

Look at Mel!
Look at Mel!
(LAUGHING)

He's sick.
Go, Mel! Go, Mel!

Do the drummer solo.
Go, Haywood!

DAVIS:
Come on, let's take 'em in.

(WHOOPING)

♪ There was Frankie Lymon,
Bobby Fuller, Mitch Ryder...

Hey, Mr. Rago!
I had enough.

Mr. Rago, let me out.
Let me out!

♪ Don't forget James Brown...
James Brown.

James Brown?
James Brown!
♪ Rockin' in the U.S.A.

Oh! Oh! Oh!
(YELLING)

James Brown!
All right! Turn it up!

♪ R-O-C-K in the U.S.A.

♪ James Brown
♪ R-O-C-K in the U.S.A.

♪ James Brown
♪ R-O-C-K in the U.S.A.

♪ James Brown
♪ R-O-C-K in the U.S.A.

♪ Sweet juicy brown
♪ R-O-C-K in the U.S.A.

♪ Bobby Brown
♪ R-O-C-K in the U.S.A.

♪ Snoop Doggy brown
BILL:
♪ R-O-C-K in the...

All right, all right,
all right, all right.

Okay, take it easy. Come on.
Calm down a little bit here.
Hold it. Hold it.

Hi. About how long are you
staying in Canada?

Couple of hours.
Where do you live?

ALL: In the U.S.A.!

RADIO:
♪ R-O-C-K in the U.S.A. ♪
Okay.

MONTGOMERY:
We gotta go to Canada
to see Henry V?

BILL:
It's the nearest theater
it's playin'.

BENITEZ:
This better be good.

(WAR DRUMS BEATING)

(DRUMMING CONTINUES)
(MEN SHOUTING)

(GROANING)

It's the drummer. Hey.
You hear that?
You hear that?

MAN: Shh...
Boom, boom.

Turn around.
What are you,
the noise monitors?

Turn around.
Turn around already.
Ahhh.

"Lend the eye
a terrible aspect,

"Let it pry through
the portage of the head
Like the brass cannon,

"let the brow o'erwhelm it
As fearfully as doth
a galled rock.

"Now set the teeth

"and stretch
the nostril wide,

"Hold hard the breath,
and bend up every spirit
To his full height!

"On, on,
you noblest English!

"Whose blood is fet from
fathers of war-proof,

"Fathers that,
like so many Alexanders,

"Have in these parts
from morn till even fought,

"And sheath'd their swords
for lack of argument.

"Dishonor not your mothers,

"now attest
That those whom you call'd
fathers did beget you.

"Be copy now to men
of grosser blood,
And teach them how to war.

"And you, good yeomen,

"Whose limbs were
made in England,

"show us here
The mettle of your pasture,

"let us swear
That you are worth
your breeding,

"which I doubt not,

"For there is none of you
so mean and base

"That hath not
noble luster in your eyes.

"I see you stand
like grayhounds in the slips,

"Straining upon the start.

(WAR DRUMS BEATING)
"The game's afoot.

"Follow your spirit,
and, upon this charge
Cry

"'God for Harry!'"
ALL: Harry!

"'England...'"
England!

"'...and Saint George!'"

(MEN CHEERING)

(SHOUTING CONTINUES)

See them.

(GRUNTING)

(YELLING)

Come on, Mel!
Hey! Hey!

Ahhh!

(MELVIN GROANING)
Who shall be-eth
my next victim?

Yo!
I can't wait to get back
and do the push-ups.

(LAUGHING)

Mel, what'd you do?
You slept through the
whole thing, didn't you?

No, no.
I didn't sleep at all.

I tell you, I really
enjoyed it, Mr. Bill.

I can't thank you enough.
Yeah, yeah.

The best part
was the drummer.

The drummer was the best
part of the whole joint.
Yeah, he was good.

Listen, I liked
the whole thing.
Everything was great.

I just didn't like them
stupid accents they used.

That's so stupid.
Why can't they talk
like us, right?

Listen to yourself.
Listen to you!

HAYWOOD:
Rocky Balboa or somebody.
(LAUGHING)

Hey, I'm so cool...

Talk about an accent.

BENITEZ: Henry V says,

(IMITATING AL PACINO)
"Once more unto the breach,
dear friends, once more,

"Or close the wall up
with our English dead!

"In peace there's nothing
so becomes a man..."
As shuttin' the hell up.

(WITH CUBAN ACCENT)
Okay, Tony,
shut the hell up, okay?

Okay.
You're drivin' me
crazy, okay?

Okay, okay. I said okay.

Quiet, now.
One time you gotta
tell me. One time.

Shut the hell up.

Where'd you get that?
At the theater.
Relax, I paid for it.

ALL:
♪ Hump-ty dump-ty dump

♪ All together now
♪ Hump-ty Dump-ty dump

♪ Oh, Humpty Dumpty
sat on a wall

♪ Humpty Dumpty
had a great fall

♪ Hump, make it funky now
hump, make it funky now

♪ Hump-ty Dump-ty dump ♪

See, I need some information
about a soldier who served
in Vietnam.

His name is
Brian Davis, Sr.
Okay.

No, wait. It would be,
actually, Brian Davis.

Grand Forks,
North Dakota.

Okay. Are you CID?

Of course I'm CID.
Why else would I
be here, right?

Right.

Excuse me one second.

Excuse me, Sergeant.
He needs some records...

SERGEANT: Oh, he does, huh?
Okay, I'll handle it, then.

Hi. No.

What?

She's not allowed
to access those files

without prior authorization
from her supervisor.

I'm her supervisor.

(CHUCKLES)
But I just told her
I was CIP.

CIT?

CIG?

"D."
"D."

I'm CID. So, can I
get the records?

(CHUCKLES) No.

Aw, come on.
Is that all you ever say?

No.

Hmm.
A window of opportunity.

Huh?

No?

(MOUTHING) No.

Mr. Bill, why do we
need to know every
Tom, Dick, and Orsic

in this play anyhow?

A-ha. Melvin,
I'm glad you asked.

Where you goin'?
No, no, no.

RECRUITS: Aw!

In four days,
each and every one of you

will be up in front
of the class,

facin' the firing squad.

Who's doin' the shootin'?
Me.

Hey, Bill, you ain't
never said nothin'
'bout no damn test.

Nobody asked me.
I'm the teacher.

My hands are
sweatin' already.

Well, I thought
you was my boy, man.
Give us a ride here.

No more rides, Montgomery.
No more free passes.

Look, um, Mr. Rago,
we talked about this.
I'm not good at tests.

(RECRUITS CHATTERING)

Look!

You are not dumb.

But I need you
to know that.

When you walk out that door,

I want you to realize
that nobody gave you
anything.

I want you to know
what it feels like
to make the grade

all on your own.

You can do it.

I know it.

Victory starts here.

MAN: Recruits, single file!
Look, I need you
to fill these in

and return 'em with
your attendance sheets
ASAP.

I need 'em
for the boys' records.
They graduate next week.

What is this?

It's a certificate.
It says they've
completed the course.

Oh!

Well, they haven't. Not yet.

I'll sign 'em
when they pass the test.

Test? What test?

I'm giving 'em a test
this Friday.

(CHUCKLING)
Oh, no, you're not.
Oh, yes, I am.

Bill, look, you don't
kid around with tests
in the army.

Tests are
real things here.

That's right,
including mine.

Look, you've done your job.
The drill sergeants are
happy with your guys.

They're makin' it
as soldiers.

They don't need your test.

You're wrong, Tom.

If they pass it,
they'll know they
earned something.

And if they flunk it,
they're gone.

This isn't Princeton, Rago.
We don't have summer school.
You got it?

(EXHALES)

Sit down, please, Bill.

Look, I know
you mean well.

But this time,
listen to me.

They're almost there.

Don't do to them
what you did to Hobbs.

This came for you.

HOBBS: "Dear Mr. Rago,

"thanks for all your letters.

"And I don't know what
you and Captain Murdoch
wrote to the warden,

"but it sure worked,
'cause I may be
gettin' outta here soon.

"Just wanted you to know,
I've been reading Othello.

"Imagine that.

"Mr. Shakespeare writin'
about a black man
way back then,

"and a soldier, too.

"Prison librarian says
I'm the first to check out
Shakespeare in 16 years.

"She asked me if I was
interested in signin' up
for some college classes.

"I told her if they had
a few teachers like you,
I just might.

"Well, Mr. Rago,
like Hamlet says,

"'The rest is silence.'

"Sincerely,

"Nathanial T. Hobbs."

Hey, Mr. Rago,
let's talk about the fight
between Laertes and Hamlet

at the end of the play.
Now, that was good.

Yo, yo, yo.
Hey, Billy, my boy,
bust it.

Let's get back
to the graveyard,

'cause them clowns
diggin' up them skulls,
that's the mad stuff.

Yo, what's up with that?
Yup.

Okay. Okay.

Mr. Rago, does Hamlet
have a last name or what?

MONTGOMERY:
I know you know.
You the man.

Yup, yup, yup. We're gonna
go over everything.

But, uh... But first
I have to talk to you
about something.

Um, according to the army,

(EXHALES) you're not
required to take a test
to pass this class.

Hallelujah! Hey, yo!

(ALL CHATTERING)
We passed!

I give you a A+.

MELVIN: Thank you.
Well, you get an A+, too.
Now, hold on, Mr. Bill.

What are you sayin' here,
that if we fail,
we still pass?

No, no. If you take a test,
and you fail, you're out.

You're out of the army.
Is that clear?

What?

What?

Um, you said if
we take the test.

Yeah, Davis.
The choice is yours.

Hold on. Hold on, Billy.
How 'bout if we take
the test, pass the test?

We get a bonus, we get,
like, keys to a car,
cash, a prize maybe?

A little somethin'?
Some incentive?

You get a prize.

Yeah.

But you can't drive it,

or spend it,

or even see it.

All you can do is feel it.

What the hell
kind of prize is that?

I got a family,
all right?
I need this job.

Imagine goin' home,
tellin' your ma you got
a Shakespearean discharge.

(SCOFFS)

Bill.
Hmm?

If you get any sadder,
you're gonna trip
over your lip.

I'm sorry. I'm just not
a fun date tonight.

Aw, just lighten up
a little bit.

People are gonna think
I kidnapped you.
(LAUGHS)

You know,
we get to keep these.

Ah.
I have a lovely set
of 16 at home.

I'm not much of a collector,
but maybe if I get
a bigger footlocker.

Yeah. (CHUCKLES)

You have a great
sense of humor.
Well, I'm a staff sergeant.

Staff Sergeant Marie.

Staff Sergeant Leighton
to you.

Staff Sergeant
anything to me.
SHANA: Sergeant?

Oh, there you are, Shana.
Sorry I'm late.

MARIE: Are you okay?
Mmm-hmm.

Hi. Remember me?

Hi.

I'm Shana.

Shana Leroy.
I believe you
know my husband.

You're Leroy's...

Yeah. So is he.

Ah!
I didn't know that...

Well, how's the kid?
Fine.

Oh. Oh.
You're right, you know.

He probably will come out
wearin' a helmet.

(CHUCKLES) Little joke.

Yeah?
(CHUCKLES)

These are for you.
Mr. Davis' records.

Mr. Rago,
can you put it...

MARIE: I would show it
to Sergeant Cass first.

Marie.

Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. And thank you.

(WHISPERING)
Uh, I'm gonna...
Yeah. Mmm-hmm.

They're on bivouac tonight.

Looks like
things went well.
Yeah.

Nice kiss?
Yes, it was. Thanks.

Mmm-hmm.

Oh.

CASS: Said weapon was found
approximately 50 yards
to my left,

in a large puddle of water.

HAYWOOD: It's my rifle,
Drill Sergeant!

CASS: Now, men, this is
totally unacceptable!

HAYWOOD:
Drill Sergeant, yes,
Drill Sergeant!

Fall back in!
BILL: Lou!

Come here!
I got somethin' for ya!

Lou! Hey, Lou! Come here!

It's important!

(GROANS)
I know he does this
on purpose.

(GRUNTS)

CASS:
Yes, I love this weather!
I love the rain!

He's crazy.
I love it!

This is where we really
start trainin'.

Just because it's rainin',
the battle doesn't stop.
Remember that.

Go!
(RECRUITS GRUNTING)

(GRUNTING)

My old drill sergeant
used to say... Go!

(SHOUTING AND GRUNTING)

"If it ain't rainin',
we ain't trainin'!"
Go! Yeah!

Oh, give me the rain!
Give me the rain!

Yes, indeed. Go!

Private Melvin,
front and center
on the double!

Go!

(RECRUITS SHOUTING
AND GRUNTING)

Private Melvin,
you study Shakespeare.

Yes, sir, Drill Sergeant!

Go! Let me hear it, then.

I study Shakespeare,
Drill Sergeant!

CASS: No! No!
I wanna hear some!

Recite it. Go!

Fall back in.
Private Benitez!
Front and center!

Private Benitez,
New York.

You study Shakespeare?

Drill Sergeant,
yes, Drill Sergeant!

All right.
Let me hear some. Go!

I said I wanna
hear some. Let's go!

(SHOUTING CONTINUES)

"He that lives..."

Come on, what?
What was that?
I can't hear it!

Come on! Go!

(GRUNTING CONTINUES)

"He that outlives this day,

"and comes safe home,

"Will stand a tip-toe
when this day is named,

"And rouse him
at the name of Crispian."

I didn't tell ya to stop.
Keep goin'! Keep goin'!

Go!

"He that shall live this day,
and see old age,

"Will yearly on the vigil
feast his neighbors,
And say

"'To-morrow is
Saint Crispin.'

"Then will he
strip his sleeve,
show his scars.

"And say 'These wounds I had
on Saint Crispin's Day.'

"Old men forget,
yet all shall be forgot,

"But he'll remember
with advantages

"What feats he did that day,

"Then shall our names,

"Familiar in his mouth
as household words

"Harry the king,
Bedford and Exeter,

"Warwick and Talbot,

"Salisbury and Gloucester,

"Be in their flowing cups
freshly remember'd.

"And this story
shall the good man
teach his son,

"And Crispin Crispian
shall ne'er go by,

"From this day to
the ending of the world,

"But we in it
shall be remember'd."

(THUNDER RUMBLING)

"We few,

"we happy few,

"we band of brothers,

"For he to-day that sheds
his blood with me

"Shall be my brother.

"And gentlemen in England
now a-bed

"Shall think themselves
accursed they were not here,

"And hold their manhoods
cheap whiles any speaks

"Who fought with us

"upon Saint Crispin's Day."

That enough,
Drill Sergeant?

Yes, Benitez. Good.

That was nice! Good job!

Great. Great.

What's this?

These are Davis'
father's records.

Do what you think
is right.

♪ One, two, three, four

ALL:
♪ Shoot, communicate,
move on out

♪ Your left, right ♪

ALL: Warriors!

Double! Rear!
Hesitate! March!

Ah... Ah...

Damn!
Double! Rear!

Change step! March!

Ah... Ah...

Damn good!
Change step! March!

Column left! March!

Left, left, left, right, left.
ALL: Go, company.
Company. Warriors!

Left, left,
left, right, left.

Left, left.

LEROY: Squad, halt!

Right face!

Fall out to instructional
positions! Hoo-ah!

ALL: Ten, nine,
eight, seven, six,

five, four, three,
two, one, freeze!

I said freeze!

Squad, assume test
positions! Hoo-ah!

Sir! Double-D squad
reporting for final exam...
Sir.

Hoo-ah!

I feel sorry for Ophelia
'cause she kills herself.

'Cause first Hamlet dumps her,
and then he kills her father.

It was an accident,
but he did it.

So she dies without
ever knowing the truth,
that he really did love her.

Suicide ain't the way out.

A lot of people
are on their own,
and they make it.

The Ghost.
Excellent.

Benitez.
Uh, Yorick.

Yorick.

(RAPID GRUNTING)
Yeah.

Haywood. Laertes.

Gimme somebody else.

Laertes, Haywood.
Laertes is a fool!

He ain't never stopped
to think about what type
of person Hamlet was.

All he does is do what
the king tells him to do.

When he fights Hamlet,
all they do is end up
killin' each other.

That's his problem.
He don't stop and think
before he acts.

I want somebody else, Bill.

BILL: Queen Gertrude.

Fortinbras.

What did we learn
from the graveyard scene?

Leroy.

Well, maybe it means
something, maybe it don't,
but, um...

Well, I can see why
the gravedigger say
he went to work

the very day Hamlet was born.

I mean...
Well, it's kinda funny
when you think about it.

The day you're born,
you start to die.

You see, when Hamlet
see that skull
in the graveyard,

he see the light.

Skull ain't got
no tongue, you see?

That's why, later,
when Hamlet's
lyin' there, dyin',

he won't let his man Horatio
kill himself.

Say, "Nah, man.
I'm already gone.

"Don't fall
on your sword for me.

"You gotta go on
and be my tongue,

"tell my story,
so I can live on."

You dig what I'm sayin'?
It's deep, ya know?

It's way deep.
Two times.
Yeah. All right.

Two times, baby.
Three times, my boy.

So what do we get
out of this play?

Melvin.

You know,

all the people in the play,
the kings and the queens
and the princes,

they all die.

And in the end,
all that's left
is the two guys,

Fortinbras and Horatio.

A soldier and a student.

Ain't that somethin'?

That is something,
Melvin.

Some eight or nine weeks ago,
a young man or woman

apprehensively boarded
a train, plane,
or got into a car,

and began a journey
to become a part
of something

they only knew vaguely
as the army.

That's Marie over there.

COLONEL JAMES: They did not
go away to do something.
BILL: See?

This is Emily.
My daughter.

EMILY: Hi.
I met her here.

Well, you could tell.
She's cute.

Thank you.
Well, she's very nice.

Today, we see them
on this graduation field.

They are somehow
stronger, prouder,

more mature, changed.

Today, you fine
young men and women

assume your positions as
guardians of America's future,

and that future
looks bright indeed,

for both you and your country.

But we must never forget our
debt of gratitude to the past,

and those who have served
the army so bravely

and so well.

That is why
I am especially proud

to dedicate this ceremony

to a fallen,
but not forgotten,
American hero.

A young radio operator
serving in Vietnam,

whose platoon came
under mortar attack near
the outpost at Soc Trang.

This soldier held his post
under fire

to relay coordinates,

which facilitated
an artillery response.

This soldier gave his own life

in order to prevent the loss

of so many others.

I want to thank
a civilian instructor

for pointing out
this oversight,

Mr. William Rago,

for his efforts
in seeing that the family
of this fallen soldier

receives the honor
he so richly deserves.

Company, attention!

Son, it's an honor
to present to you

your father's Silver Star.

About face!

(BAND PLAYING MARCH)

DRILL SERGEANT: Eyes right!

Gee, they're tough.

To the right, march!

DRILL SERGEANT: Eyes right!

Forward march!
There's Miranda.

Face front!

That's them. That's them.

Eyes right!

Ready! Front!

Double-Ds, eyes right!

(BAND PLAYING)

(WHISTLING)

CASS: Get in step!
Left, right, left.

Left... Stay together!

Left, left,
left, right, left.

Signin' up for
another term, Bill?

Sir, yes, sir!
(LAUGHING)

That's the way
the English do it, Rago.

Your left, your left,
your left, right, left.
(CHUCKLING)

Left, left.

CASS:
♪ Hamlet's mama,
she's the queen

ALL:
♪ Hamlet's mama,
she's the queen

♪ Buys it in
the final scene

♪ Buys it in
the final scene

♪ Drinks a glass
of funky wine

♪ Drinks a glass
of funky wine

♪ Now she's
Satan's Valentine

♪ Now she's
Satan's Valentine ♪

(DRUMROLL)

♪ Maybe one day
we'll be united

♪ Oh, oh, yeah

♪ And our love
won't be divided

♪ Maybe one day
we'll be united

♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh

♪ And our love
won't be divided

♪ Oh-oh-oh-oh

♪ If love a was a thing a
me say money could a buy

♪ The rich man would a live a
me say poor man would die

♪ If peace a was a thing
they would a keep
upon the earth

♪ Happiness a would abundant
unity would give birth

♪ In a hungry nation, yes,
you get a hungry people

♪ That is mentally cripple
and a kinda always wrong

♪ Gunshot and fire
in a South Africa

♪ And the youth them a suffer
in a Dominica

♪ Peace, I got a plea for call

♪ I see too many kids
and they simply falling

♪ In the streets, it's strife,
a waste of a life

♪ 'Cause he died by the bullet
or he's stabbed with a knife

♪ But yo,
it ain't no way to go

♪ You can't kill the next man
just to get the dough

♪ We gotta fight tonight
but we gotta fight right

♪ Can't fight for the dough,
we gotta fight to unite

♪ Maybe one day
we'll be united

♪ Oh, oh, yeah

♪ And our love
won't be divided

♪ Oh, oh, yeah, yeah

♪ Maybe one day
we'll be united

♪ United

♪ And our love
won't be divided

♪ Oh-oh-oh-oh

♪ In America
the problem take over

♪ Robber shot Peter Tosh
in Kingston Jamaica

♪ Me nah joke, me nah play,
me nah jester

♪ Respect Abu Baka,
respect Mandela

♪ Bob Marley,
intelligent Rasta

♪ Singing for world peace
is Mr. Stevie Wonder

♪ If you live by the gun a
you will perish by the gun

♪ And when Jah-Jah time
come in Babylon
them have to run

♪ We need O-N-E L-O-V-E
U-N-I-T-Y, before we all die

♪ But you don't listen,
you don't understand

♪ Still kicking the bullshit,
tryin' to be the man

♪ Why you wanna go
and do your old piece

♪ Cause we're all rough
and we're from the streets

♪ You gotta go against the man
with the corporation

♪ Get an education
to rebuild the nation

♪ Maybe one day
we'll be united

♪ Ooh, yeah, yeah, yeah

♪ And our love
won't be divided

♪ Ooh, yeah, yeah, yeah

♪ Maybe one day
we'll be united

♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh

♪ And our love
won't be divided

♪ Maybe one day
we'll be united

♪ Ooh, yeah, yeah, yeah

♪ And our love
won't be divided

♪ Ooh, yeah, yeah, yeah

♪ Maybe one day
we'll be united

♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh

♪ And our love
won't be divided

♪ Maybe one day
we'll be united

♪ United

♪ And our love
won't be divided

♪ Ooh, ooh, yeah, yeah

♪ Maybe one day
we'll be united ♪