Original subtitles

(mellow music)

(sniffing)

- You're awake.

- My throat.

(sniffs) My throat feels like razor blades.

Like I ate razor blades.

- Drink some water.

(sighs)

- Where are we?

- I don't know.

- I don't recognize where we are.

How long have we been here?

- I don't know.

- What do you mean?

- I don't know.

I don't know.

My little sister isn't going to commit suicide I know that.

My little sister isn't going to commit suicide.

You don't get to kill yourself Sanya.

It's selfish, it's selfish, it's selfish, it's selfish.

My little sister isn't going to commit suicide.

(whimpering)

(sobbing)

- Nadine I have to use the bathroom.

I don't need a chaperone.

- [Nadine] I'm not leaving.

- Am I gonna drown myself in the toilet?

- [Nadine] You're not leaving my sight.

- Am I flight risk?

I don't see myself getting out of those windows.

- You should be in a hospital.

You should be institutionalized.

- [Sanya] So take me to the hospital then

if you think I'm fucking crazy.

- [Nadine] Am I doing that?

Am I doing that?

- No, but then don't hold it over my head like you're doing

me some kind of favor.

- I'm not, but if you pull something on my watch I'll never

forgive myself so just pee.

- Wait, are you kidnapping me?

Are you holding me against my will?

- I thought you needed to pee?

- I do, so get out.

Get out.

Get out Nadine.

- Sit down and pee or fucking piss your pants I don't care

but I'm not going anywhere.

- Fine, fine, I'll drop trou right here.

Take a good look.

There's my vagina.

Looking good, right?

Take a lot of pride in my set up, aging well.

- Just make it happen.

- Mm-mm, mm-mm, I'm gonna need some intense eye contact

from you from now on.

This is prison rules.

- Will you just pee.

- Nope, it's number two too.

It's gonna be the full experience.

- I'm not leaving.

- Nadine, please turn around.

I really have to go and I can't with you watching me.

(pee trickling)

- You are the loudest pee-er alive.

If we were in prison you'd totally be my bitch right now.

- Where are we going Nadine?

- I think I'd do really well in prison actually.

I'm really just one bad day away from setting fire

to a grocery store or something.

I mean nothings quite snapped up in here yet

but with all this bullshit and what not I don't know

it's just all real brittle.

Like if you said, "Let's rob a bank" I would not be able

to fantasize about it jokingly.

I'm more on a wavelength of like okay, hey, yeah sure

but how are we gonna launder money afterwards?

Like deep, heinous crimes are no longer outside

my moral compass.

It's just, it's really late in life for a career change.

Like I'm not against shooting a guy.

I'm just really anxious about learning a new skillset

and looking foolish.

I have a real fear of failure.

I think I might start talking about things more.

I'm vocalizing, I stay up here too much, too much.

I think I'm alienating people.

I think, I think a lot actually.

- Nadine, I am really not the best person

to play a straight man to your mental breakdown.

- You know what else I'm thinking?

- Context clues me to believe,

I don't have much of a choice.

- I'm thinking we just hightail it

and Thelma and Louise this bitch.

- I really don't care what we do.

- You're a better straight man than you realize.

- (sighs) This is the worst kidnapping ever.

- So we've set a course Sanya.

- Course to where?

Where are we going?

- Purpose, we've set a course, we've drawn a line

in the sand, we've blared the horn of destiny.

Onward, to Valhalla.

I am the ever present spirit of Freya.

Honorary Aesir goddess of love, sex, beauty, war

and gold and fertility.

Adventure! We're going into town.

- What town?

- Thee town, thee proverbial town.

The town where the mortals live.

Where we will fuck 'cause we're gonna fuck the mortals

and I'm gonna have babies.

That's what's been missing Sanya, babies.

I am going to sire children until my death.

- I'm pretty sure men sire.

- I am the womb of the mother goddess.

I am all eternal and the mother goddess is hungry.

Is hungry, is hungry, is hungry, is hungry.

Are you hungry?

(chuckles) Let us sup.

(car engine firing)

- What ya doing?

- I am going to eat this cinnamon roll.

- Pretty sure that's not on keto.

- Oh, it 100% is not on keto.

- Have you quit keto?

- I'm about to.

- Nadine you don't wanna do that.

- I really do.

- All right, do it.

- I'm actively doing it right now.

- No, you're talking about it.

- Look, fuck off Sanya, I can't talk

and eat at the same time.

- Well so eat it because fuck it, right?

- Yeah.

- I think this is great.

You're like Freya, or goddess mother or whatever.

You know with how shitty life is,

you gotta take your pleasures where you can get 'em.

- You want one?

I got extra.

- I don't want a cinnamon roll.

- I have more than cinnamon rolls,

I've got like a whole bake shop.

I have snickerdoodles and bear claws

and black and white cookies.

- I can't even bear to look at food right now.

- You gotta be hungry.

- Yeah, I am hungry but I also wanna hurl so stop waving

the confection at me Nadine.

- I have plain bagels if you just wanna nosh.

- Eat your confection.

- I want to.

- If you don't want the confection don't eat the confection.

- Stop saying confection.

- Just eat it if you're hungry.

- I don't wanna eat alone.

- No, you don't wanna feel fucking guilty

but it's a choice and I'm not gonna lessen the blow for you

by joining you.

Eat the fucking thing if want it.

(sniffing)

(sobbing)

- I'm sorry.

I'm sorry I said I was leaving with Lemon Drop.

I said I would never leave you and then.

I was angry.

- Shh, shh.

Hilla Hilla Saga... Hurt-hurt go away

- Oh, (blows raspberry) don't

"Hilla Hilla Saga" me, I'm fine.

Just get in the car.

- [Sanya] You look tired.

- I am tired.

- [Sanya] You want me to take over and drive?

I'm wide awake.

- You're not driving.

- [Sanya] If you tell me where we're going

I will drive us there.

- You're not driving.

- [Sanya] I don't particularly want you to crash the car

after you fall asleep.

(Nadine laughs)

- Well that's ironic, I mean, what do you care?

- [Sanya] I wanna leave behind a pretty corpse.

That's not exactly on the cards with a horrific accident

or a car fire.

- That's not funny.

- [Sanya] I care, all right.

- Then why?

- [Sanya] Will you watch the road.

- Fuck Sanya, fuck.

What the fuck is so wrong?

What is so fucking wrong?

You've always been the pretty one, the smart one,

the favorite.

You're so creative and you've always been

the spontaneous one.

You have no attachments, no nothing and you've convinced

yourself that that's a bad thing but, but that's,

that just means that you get to go out in the world

and be young and wild and spontaneous

and you can go do amazing things.

You could go to Ethiopia and build hospitals,

or you could got to South America and build churches,

or teach Chinese people how to speak English,

or you could save the whales, you could go hang-gliding.

You could take ballroom dance classes,

go back to college and get a doctorate.

You could, you're so creative you could write novels

but instead, instead, instead.

- [Sanya] So could you Nadine.

- What?

I'm ranting.

- [Sanya] So could you.

You do not have to hold on to a mistake

because you've spent a long time making it.

(Nadine scoffs)

- I think I read that on someone's Facebook wall.

Sanya, Sanya, Sanya what happened?

Oh, come on, come on Sanya.

Sanya, what the fuck?

Fuck, wake up, wake up.

Wake the fuck up Sanya.

Sanya, I need you, I need you to wake up, okay.

All right, all right.

I need you, I need you to wake up.

Wake, did you take these?

Did you take these, how many did you take?

How many did you fucking take?

They said you can't sleep all right, I gotta, I need you,

I need you to stay with me, you can't sleep.

You can't, you can't sleep.

I'm gonna need you to throw up, okay?

I need you, I need you to throw up.

You gotta bring up the pills okay.

Look, like the blue icing, all right.

Oh god, all right, come on, come on, throw it up.

Come on, come on, get it out, get it out Sanya, go on.

(Sanya retching)

Come on, come on, okay good, get it out, get it out.

All right, all right, all right.

- [Sanya] You have to keep your eyes open Nadine.

- I'm gonna find us a motel I just need to rest a minute.

- [Sanya] All right, just keep 'em open.

You wanna yell at me again?

That seemed to help get your adrenaline up before.

(Nadine chuckles)

- No, just talk.

- [Sanya] Talk about what?

- I wanna hear a story.

Tell me a story.

- [Sanya] Like a made up story?

- No, a true story.

- [Sanya] A true story (sighs).

- A happy story.

- [Sanya] I don't know any true, happy stories.

- We have stories.

Tell me one of our stories.

- [Sanya] You wanna hear about the beach?

You remember the story about the beach?

Mom taking us to the beach.

(Sanya sighs)

Mom used to look like Audrey Hepburn.

Like Audrey Hepburn but she dressed like Diane Keaton

most of the time.

And she went through this stage where she was always

wearing those big barren hats.

Even at the beach she was wearing

this big brimmed black hat.

She took us a few months after dad died.

You were driving for hours.

As a kid it felt like millennia.

And no stops right?

She was in her swimsuit the whole time.

The whole ride I remember how shiny mom's legs were.

Glossy like a photograph and comically doctored

magazine cover long.

How did neither of us inherit mom's legs?

Driving barefoot in her swimsuit and her big hat

and big bug-like sunglasses to hide the fact

that she spent nearly the entire drive weeping.

This was just a few months after dad died, right?

And so she was just always crying.

Right up until she saw that beach.

The second she saw the ocean not a drop.

Not a single tear.

I remember the sun was just coming up when she parked.

You were in the front seat and you were mirroring mom.

She touched her face and you touched your face

and she reapplied her lipstick

and you reapplied your lipstick and she apologized

for being sad.

She didn't apologize she berated herself.

"I'm not crying any more."

And she didn't.

I never saw her cry ever after that.

Well then she took you by the hand

and she took me by the hand and marched us

down the boardwalk.

Just hitting one food stand after another.

French fries and icy cones and salt water taffy

and there was like a big stand with kiffles.

I would break them apart and dissect them piece by piece.

Each crusty little flake and suck on the jelly for hours

do you remember?

Mom gave us a speech, our faces half stuffed,

"This is dad in here."

She had a vintage metal lunchbox with Thor

and Captain America and the other Avengers on it

from when dad was a little boy.

"This is dad in here," she said.

So serious, so dignified, like Audrey Hepburn.

"Go ahead," she handed you the box I remember

and you clutched it in both hands.

"Go ahead, take your sister and throw it in together.

"Open it up and throw it in."

I don't know why she didn't come with us.

She just reclined in the sand on her towel

and stretched out those legs for days.

We made our way to the surf and I was chasing it back

and forth giggling trying not to let it touch my feet.

And you said, "Sanya," like that, "Sanya," and I must have

stopped and looked at you because my feet got wet

and I got a little shiver.

You opened the can, you brought it down to me, to my level

so I could touch it too.

We emptied it out together and I said,

"Why are we putting dad in the ocean?"

And I remember very specifically you had your hands

on your hips and you were looking out to the sea

and you weren't looking at me, you were looking out

to the sea and you said,

"Because important things happen at the beach."

And you must have only said that because mom said that

but that's what you said.

"Because important things happen at the beach."

And I said, "Oh," but I got it, I felt very in

on the importance of it all.

But any time I think back on it that expression you made

and the tone of your voice (laughs) it's just about

the funniest thing I can remember.

"Because important things happen at the beach."

And, and we both got crazy sunburn that night

into the next day because mom didn't fricking get any

sunscreen and she ended up lathering us in aloe

before we left.

Like head to toe in the community bathrooms.

And there was an echo and this constant reverberating

chatter as all these women were walking past us in and out.

I'd never seen so many different women.

And mom was just this goddess with her perfect knees

on those wet, disgusting floors slathering us in aloe.

(Sanya sighs)

The sun went down and we piled into the car.

God I feel like I remember every second of this day.

I was squinting my eyes out the window

and watching how distorted the lamp post light.

These beams of light would just go streaking

through the windshield.

I'd squint real hard and something about the orange glow

and the vibrations of the car and the silence we all shared.

Just the thump-thump, thump-thump, thump-thump

of the highway under us

and the light beams dancing past my eyes

would always lull me to sleep.

- Sanya, can you hit the lights?

- You got rangoons right?

- I got crab rangoons.

- Like a lot of rangoons?

- Like a lot of rangoons.

- Like, like what's a lot?

- Like 60 rangoons.

- You did not get 60 rangoons.

- I got a lot of rangoons and lo mein and egg rolls

and General Tso's chicken.

- Sweet and sour chicken?

- Chinese chicken nuggets.

(excited squealing)

And the spare ribbies.

- Boneless, because you get more.

- I like it on the bone.

- But you get more.

- Which is why I got both.

- Oh my God Nadine, not all heroes wear capes for real.

You are a genius.

- Chinese food is my spirit animal and being fat

and not giving a shit is the true key to happiness.

Scooch, I gotta spread out the goods.

- All right.

Dumpling me.

- Let me get everything laid out.

- Well crack open them puppies,

I'm ready to receive, let's go.

Dumpling me, dumpling now please.

- Just give me a second.

- Dumpling now please.

- All right, I just gotta find it in the bags.

- Dumpling now please.

- All right, let me find it.

- Dumpling now please.

- All right, first, chopsticks.

- Chopsticks.

- Pan fried or steamed?

- Pan fried.

No, steamed.

No, I don't know I can't decide I'm too excited.

- Steamed it is.

- Good choice.

Oooo, hello baby.

- Do you want the sauce?

- Fuck yeah.

- To following our truth.

- Hashtag all dumplings are beautiful.

(moaning)

- [Nadine] Are ya still hungry?

- Oh it is long past being about that.

- [Nadine] You want the rest of these noodles?

- Yes I do.

I saved you these last few fried donuts.

They are weirdly good.

Like, Asian Bistro's house fried rice back home.

- I could subside on nothing but that fried rice

for the rest of my days.

- Well that's these donuts, there just better at this place.

Like, better than they have any right to be.

- I'm gonna be so bloated at the beach.

- That's where we're going, the beach?

- Yeah, you know what they say.

- [Both] Because important things happen at the beach.

- Are you all right Nadie?

- I'm just so tired.

I'm like the kind of exhausted where you can't even sleep.

You can't turn off whatever fight or flight mechanism

your body has telling you it's not safe to sleep.

I can't remember the last time I slept

through the night Sanya.

Before Lemon Drop, before losing the weight, before.

I'm only staying with Freddy because I love him.

It's probably the shittiest reason to be with someone.

I just don't feel anything any more Sanya.

Just, nothing.

I just feel the absence...

the residual,

Of what a feeling should be,

about everything.

- Come on, settle in and let the food coma work its magic.

I'll just put this away, you slip under the covers, okay.

Catch a few Zs, see where you are in the morning?

- Okay.

- [Sanya] Did you eat a donut?

- No.

- [Sanya] Do you wanna eat a donut?

- Are they cold?

- [Sanya] Well yeah there cold,

they've just been sitting here.

- Boo

So you don't want 'em?

- No, I want 'em.

- [Sanya] Nadine.

I can't sleep.

Can I come over there with you?

(sobbing)

- I'm so glad you're here with me Sanya.

I don't know what I would do if you weren't here.

- [Sanya] You wanna go to the beach now?

(waves crashing)