Original subtitles

- [Narrator] You find room for it.

You see the pain in her face, and the regret,

and you say nothing.

You find room for it.

You can take it, you've got broad shoulders.

You are a man.

You learn from your mistakes and you say nothing.

You see Nadine laugh with Lemon Drop

and you make room for it.

You can take it.

You've got broad shoulders.

You never noticed her weight,

never noticed yours until she started noticing hers.

You think of when your father died of cancer.

Oh our Freddy, he can take it.

He has broad shoulders.

You think you should cry.

Instead you watch a video of a squirrel eating an avocado.

You never noticed that you'd lost weight

until it was gone.

Maybe it was never there to begin with.

You were the one who always comforting Nadine

until running began comforting Nadine.

You stop watching the squirrel and watch Persephone

eat whipped cream off her fingers online.

For a MacBook Pro she'll put

whipped cream anywhere you want.

You look up prices on Amazon and decide against it

and play 13 hours of Overwatch.

You used to bring your mom a Twizzler

every time you wanted one.

You used to watch your father

drink orange juice after his runs.

You used to think Dad's apartment

was a fort you only got to play in on the weekends.

Your parents sat you down

and said they both still loved you.

You find room for it.

You'd bring your mom a Twizzler every time you wanted one.

Your parents took you out for ice cream.

Oh our Freddy, he can take it.

He's got broad shoulders.

You sit across from Nadine.

You save the Brussels sprouts for last.

You always hated Brussels sprouts

before Nadine's Brussels sprouts.

You now love Brussels sprouts.

You might marry Brussels sprouts.

You might marry Brussels sprouts

and have your honeymoon in Brussels.

You imagine the best Brussels sprouts come from Brussels.

- [Narrator and Nadine] Freddy?

I met someone.

- [Narrator] You watch it play out like a movie.

It's been a long time since we've been sexual.

You watch it play out like a video blog,

or even intimate and--

- [Narrator and Nadine] I need it.

- I need it in my life.

- [Narrator] You watch it like she's a cam girl.

You think of Persephone eating whipped cream

and you think of Nadine eating whipped cream.

Oh our Freddy, he can take it.

He has broad shoulders.

- I'm seeing someone.

- [Narrator] You suddenly have a craving for Twizzlers.

- Freddy, do you hear me?

- Whatever makes you happy.

(pleasant music)

♪ To have a girl like her ♪

♪ To have a girl like her ♪

- Bolo.

Bolo.

Dah.

Are we gonna talk about the women's robe, dog?

- Yep.

- Are you good?

- Yep.

- Okay.

You say that, but I'm gonna refer back to the woman's robe.

- Yeah.

- In fact, you sent me a text that said

hey bro, I'm wearing a woman's robe.

Please bring clothes.

- Yeah.

- That was 10:13.

10:14, why do babies.

No question mark, no nothing, just why do babies.

I get texts like that, and I'm thinking maybe not so fine.

- This used to be one of our hot spots.

Remember?

- I do.

- Here, and then Chicken Lounge,

and then Billiards when it was still there.

- And then even sometimes back here at the end of the night.

(both chuckle)

- Ah I was so happy then.

- No you weren't.

We were fucking miserable back then.

Why don't you put on some of these clothes, dog?

- At least we were miserable together.

- Gay. Put on the pants please.

- Why do babies?

- Why do babies, bro.

I don't know, why do babies?

- My legs are cold.

- Hence pants!

- I'm gonna put on the pants.

- That's a solid first step.

You hungry?

Come on my guy. Let's go.

- Lemon Drop and I broke up.

- [Freddy] I kinda figured.

- I had to make a fast exit.

- [Freddy] Just sort of grabbed at what you could?

- Yeah man.

- [Freddy] Makes sense.

- What makes sense?

- [Freddy] Just grabbing at what you could.

You are fuckin' rockin' that woman's robe, though dog.

- Thanks dog.

You know I moved 18 times since the age of four?

I don't know how many times before that.

On average that means I haven't stayed in a place

for more than two years.

I mean I'm not saying that I like it,

but I'm used to it.

You know, I mean,

I would've gone with her if she'd asked.

Places aren't home, you know?

People are home to me.

The closest I've ever come

was when me and you rented our first place.

- The shower broke on our first day.

- [Singapore] You remember that hideous

blackish purple couch

with the pink and neon blue like color sprays?

- Ah, I am pretty sure that couch was cancer.

- [Singapore] It was a heaping pile of AIDS.

Don't think I've ever worked harder

for something in my entire life.

- Three flights of stairs,

and you were at the top.

I was at the bottom of that fuckin' train wreck.

- [Singapore] What was that dude's name that helped us?

- Nate.

- [Singapore] Oh yeah.

What a tool bag.

- I mean he helped us bring it up

the flights of stairs though.

- [Singapore] Wasn't there some other guy too?

- Yeah, the guy that,

that drove Nate.

They were driving at like two miles an hour

behind us the whole time

because the couch wouldn't fit in the back of your car,

so for three miles we had the couch

sticking out of your trunk.

- What kind of life have I stumbled into, man?

- [Freddy] I think we're just lucky to be alive,

'cause we were fuckin' stupid.

- Nadine shaped you up.

I thought I had that with Lemon.

I really did.

It wasn't just that she was leaving.

She flat out didn't want me to come.

It wasn't even on the table.

- You know what would cheer you up right now, dog?

A bigass bag of mesquite barbecue chips

and Dr. Pepper and video games

until the break of dawn like the good ol' days.

Just you and me, bro.

- I just want what was promised, Freddy.

- [Freddy] What?

What was promised?

- I don't fuckin' know.

Is it okay if I just crash when we get back to your place?

- [Freddy] Yeah.

- Cool.

- You ready to crack into

the newest season of "Mindhunter" finally?

- [Freddy] Fine.

- What's up?

You've been weird today.

- Did I ever tell you about the time I went dove hunting?

No I know I don't really tell the story.

You know doves mate for life?

If you shoot one, its mate just,

just lands by its side.

It just stays there until it dies,

or until you blow its head off.

I've been deer hunting and boar hunting,

and I'm fine with all that.

You know?

I even kind of liked boar hunting.

They can defend themselves, I feel.

You know if you fuck up, they can really gore you I mean.

But...

Doves, they're just these stupid fucking useless birds.

And they release hundreds of them, thousands.

It's a whole big thing in Argentina, did you know that?

Anyway, I'm there with my dad on a business trip,

and I don't remember what he's selling,

but the clients are important, as they always are.

I just remember thinking to myself,

I don't wanna let him down.

I don't wanna seem weak in front of these guys.

I can play that part.

And when they released those birds,

I did it, I played that part.

I lost count of how many I took out of the sky.

They say it's to protect the crops,

but we drove by miles of farmland.

I don't remember seeing one bird.

There was a pub

about a half mile from the villa we were staying at.

I don't remember what it was called,

or what it looked like,

because the second we got back from the hunt,

I walked there and I started knocking back Torronteas.

It's this real citrusy cocktail they turned me onto.

I said to the bartender, I said I'm on vacation.

I need fruit, I need flowers,

I need mini umbrellas.

I'd already been drunk off of like six

of those little airplane bottles back at the room.

At this point, my dad and his people

were all laughing

and talking about literally everything

other than what he was selling.

Now I'm hearing this tapping.

This tapping sound I'm hearing.

It's like a weird thud.

More like a thud than a tapping.

A sporadic thud I'm hearing.

It's coming from outside.

No one else was paying any attention so

I get up.

At this point it's dark.

It's so dark.

I'm standing out there,

and there was this one dove

just fluttering around,

just stupid.

Confused.

It's scared, it's flopping by the side of this bar

and I remember I leaned down and I shouted at it,

you stupid fuckin' bird.

Don't you know they're gonna blow your fuckin' head off?

Just get out of here.

Would you just fuckin' go, go home.

I saved that one bird, though.

You know?

All of it to play a part.

The good son.

And I've been playing this part

for a long time, as best as I could, Nadine.

I'm done.

I'm done playing carefree Freddy,

self-medicating with food and video games and TV shows.

So no, I don't wanna watch "Mindhunters"

and no, I don't wanna watch "Orange is the New Black"

or anything else on Netflix or Amazon or Hulu or any of 'em.

They're all so fucking good.

They're filled with lives I'd rather be living than my own.

I can't live vicariously in comatose anymore.

I'm making a big change,

and you can either support me fully as my wife,

'cause it's not gonna be overnight.

And I mean wholly as my wife,

because... well, not this gay best friend version

of a marriage we've been living.

- Now come on, Freddy.

- Or-- - Or so I've got options.

- [Freddy] I'm trying to say something.

- You've been talking this whole time.

You've been saying something.

- [Freddy] Now I'm saying something else.

You can either support me fully as my wife

or frankly you can get the fuck out.

- Oh I can get the fuck out, that's how this works?

- That's not what I want, but those are the options.

I'm making the recent opportunity made available to you

all the more easy to make.

- What the fuck are you talking about?

- [Freddy] I've been silent, but I haven't been blind.

- Silent?

You haven't been silent a day in your life

with your big mouth.

- I've been silent, I have.

In the ways that matters.

You haven't heard a peep out of me, and that's on me.

I should've spoken up sooner,

but I've been a fucking coward.

I've been weak.

- [Nadine] So what, now you've had some sort of epiphany

and suddenly everything changes?

The slate gets wiped clean and I have to fall in line

with my wifely duties because Freddy's good and ready?

- That's not what I'm saying.

- You spoke, now I'm speaking.

I'm speaking.

You're good and ready to put in a little fucking effort

and what, everyone's supposed to just fall at your feet

and kiss the ground you walk on?

That makes no sense, Freddy!

It makes no fucking sense.

You don't get to coast through half of our marriage and--

- Don't treat me like a fucking idiot, sit down!

- You don't get-- - No shut up, shut up!

Shut up, shut up!

My best friend of 20 years,

sleep around on me,

sleep around on me, I don't get to chastise you.

I let it pass.

I didn't like it, but I let it pass

because I wasn't holding up my side,

but my friend? - Our friend.

- No no no, you don't get to say that.

- [Nadine] Our friend.

- No, my best friend of 20 years.

- [Nadine] So I guess you pissed on him and now he's yours?

- Yeah, yep.

I fuckin' pissed on him, and I pissed on you.

And this house, and the car,

and our favorite TV shows and games and activities.

I pissed on 'em.

People claim what they care about, and that's okay.

Taking responsibility and pride

in calling something or someone, yeah, yours.

Because up until a few years ago,

you'd have been happy to say that you pissed on me,

but now it doesn't fucking matter.

It's selfish.

It's selfish.

That was Singapore's girl.

If you don't have the moral code

to respect their relationship that's fine,

it's not your fucking relationship.

But he's asleep in the other room right now heartbroken

over the loss of this slut!

- [Nadine] Don't call her a slut.

- She's a slut!

- [Nadine] She's not a slut.

- What word would you choose?

She fucked outside of her relationship

with no regard for his feelings at all.

The only reason that she even had to stay

was to be close to you,

so pick a derogatory word that you're comfortable with

and we'll use it, 'cause that's what they're for.

- What do you want from me, Freddy?

Do you want me to fall down weeping at your feet?

I did a shitty thing.

- [Freddy] A shitty fucking thing.

- A shitty fucking thing, I did.

I did a shitty fucking thing,

and I'm sorry that it hurt Singapore

and he has every right to fuckin' hate me.

- [Freddy] Then it's your job

as his friend to fucking tell him.

- And I will, close that chapter,

end of story, I'm sorry, the end.

And I'm sorry that my actions in regard to our friend

has caused some sort of stain on my character to you,

but that's as far as this goes,

'cause let me get this straight

'cause you're heated and emotional.

And I want you to know exactly what I'm apologizing for

because I am not apologizing for doing it.

No right now, full hindsight, 20/20 perspective?

I would do it the fuck again.

- [Freddy] I don't even recognize you.

- Go fuck yourself.

Where were you for my epiphany?

When I needed to make a change and sought to make it,

where were you?

83 pounds now of weight

I have carried around my entire fucking life!

I changed myself inside and out

and you saw none of it!

It's not just about the weight.

I need to be loved, and desired,

and needed.

Don't you see I've been longing for it my whole life?

- Do you think that you're

the only one that understands longing?

I've been longing for some sort

of comfort from you, anything.

- Well you should've reached out,

because I have been inches away from you for years.

- Miles.

You've been miles away.

- That distance isn't just on me.

- I'm reaching out now.

I need you.

Nadine.

Don't tell me I woke up too late.

I fucked up.

But I am trying.

I'm trying.

Please don't leave me.

(pleasant music)