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1
00:00:01,451 --> 00:00:06,371
(slow gentle music)
♪ Ohhh ♪
2
00:00:10,569 --> 00:00:15,239
(music skipping)
♪ Ohhh ♪
3
00:00:21,318 --> 00:00:25,988
(music skipping)
♪ Ohhh ♪
4
00:00:31,987 --> 00:00:36,647
(music skipping)
♪ Ohhh ♪
5
00:00:42,518 --> 00:00:47,188
(music skipping)
♪ Ohhh ♪
6
00:00:53,482 --> 00:00:58,152
(music skipping)
♪ Ohhh ♪
7
00:01:03,650 --> 00:01:05,900
(vomiting)
8
00:01:14,423 --> 00:01:17,423
(labored breathing)
9
00:01:19,463 --> 00:01:21,713
(vomiting)
10
00:01:34,850 --> 00:01:37,850
(labored breathing)
11
00:02:01,666 --> 00:02:04,326
(running water)
12
00:02:08,198 --> 00:02:11,028
(swishing water)
13
00:02:11,027 --> 00:02:13,277
(spitting)
14
00:02:17,699 --> 00:02:20,449
(deep breathing)
15
00:02:32,427 --> 00:02:33,987
(knocking)
16
00:02:33,993 --> 00:02:34,893
- I need a minute.
17
00:02:44,627 --> 00:02:47,207
(low thumping)
18
00:02:48,287 --> 00:02:49,687
- [Ryan] Morning.
19
00:02:49,687 --> 00:02:50,517
- What are you doing?
20
00:02:50,520 --> 00:02:51,840
- I made you some breakfast.
21
00:02:52,730 --> 00:02:54,510
- What, what the fuck, no!
22
00:02:54,510 --> 00:02:55,480
- [Ryan] Okay, I know you're in a rush,
23
00:02:55,480 --> 00:02:56,310
but I don't want you leaving
24
00:02:56,313 --> 00:02:57,333
without something in your stomach.
25
00:02:57,330 --> 00:02:59,150
It's just--
- How many times have I said,
26
00:02:59,150 --> 00:03:00,770
never bring food in the bathroom?
27
00:03:00,773 --> 00:03:02,003
How many times have I said it, Ryan?
28
00:03:02,002 --> 00:03:03,812
I've said it how many times, okay?
29
00:03:03,810 --> 00:03:05,450
There are fuckin' shit particles
30
00:03:05,450 --> 00:03:07,250
and piss molecules all up in here
31
00:03:07,249 --> 00:03:09,559
and you want me to eat in here.
You want me to eat in here--
32
00:03:09,564 --> 00:03:11,024
- [Ryan] You brush your teeth in here!
33
00:03:11,020 --> 00:03:12,310
- That is a cleaning agent,
34
00:03:12,310 --> 00:03:14,120
not something I'm supposed
to ingest into my body.
35
00:03:14,120 --> 00:03:15,870
- [Ryan] Okay, get off of it, Sanya.
36
00:03:15,870 --> 00:03:17,100
I will take it back to the kitchen.
37
00:03:17,100 --> 00:03:19,370
Don't give me shit particles or whatever.
38
00:03:19,371 --> 00:03:20,201
- You know what,
39
00:03:20,204 --> 00:03:21,584
I have to look like a
princess in a goddamn hour.
40
00:03:21,580 --> 00:03:22,540
- [Ryan] Okay no, what you need
41
00:03:22,540 --> 00:03:24,490
is you need to stop
picking a fight with me
42
00:03:24,490 --> 00:03:25,640
just because you're running late.
43
00:03:25,643 --> 00:03:28,173
- Oh, oh and why am I running late?
44
00:03:28,169 --> 00:03:28,999
Why am I running late,
45
00:03:29,002 --> 00:03:30,792
because it took you seven
hours to fuckin' get off.
46
00:03:30,790 --> 00:03:32,670
- [Ryan] All right,
where did that come from?
47
00:03:32,670 --> 00:03:34,080
Who initiated sex with who this morning?
48
00:03:34,076 --> 00:03:35,526
- In hopes to alleviate
a little stress I had
49
00:03:35,533 --> 00:03:36,743
about this gig.
50
00:03:36,740 --> 00:03:38,850
Instead, I spent all morning
with your dick in my mouth.
51
00:03:38,850 --> 00:03:39,680
- [Ryan] Okay, well you know
52
00:03:39,683 --> 00:03:40,793
he's less sensitive in the mornings.
53
00:03:40,790 --> 00:03:43,040
As far as stress relief goes,
54
00:03:43,040 --> 00:03:45,770
I'm pretty sure actually, that
you came twice this morning.
55
00:03:45,772 --> 00:03:46,612
- You know what,
56
00:03:46,605 --> 00:03:47,705
I can't be talking about
this kind of shit right now.
57
00:03:47,710 --> 00:03:48,650
- [Ryan] You brought it up!
58
00:03:48,652 --> 00:03:50,312
- I'm getting ready for our
children's birthday party!
59
00:03:50,313 --> 00:03:52,213
Do you have any level of understanding
60
00:03:52,209 --> 00:03:53,799
of the level of focus
it requires to be Elsa,
61
00:03:53,801 --> 00:03:55,321
do you have any fuckin' clue?
62
00:03:55,320 --> 00:03:56,570
No, of course you fuckin' don't,
63
00:03:56,572 --> 00:03:57,762
you inconsiderate asshole.
64
00:03:57,764 --> 00:03:58,904
I fuckin' hate you!
65
00:03:58,902 --> 00:04:00,502
I fuckin' hate all this shit!
66
00:04:00,502 --> 00:04:04,352
Get the food out of the fuckin' bathroom!
67
00:04:04,345 --> 00:04:06,755
(door slams)
68
00:04:24,083 --> 00:04:26,833
(plate clatters)
69
00:04:35,241 --> 00:04:39,821
(whimpering)
(crying)
70
00:04:48,993 --> 00:04:50,493
- [Ryan] I don't deserve this.
71
00:04:52,831 --> 00:04:54,241
(sniffing)
72
00:04:54,242 --> 00:04:56,022
Do you realize you're yelling at me
73
00:04:56,020 --> 00:04:57,560
for making you breakfast?
74
00:05:00,880 --> 00:05:02,740
I'm being punished for
75
00:05:03,630 --> 00:05:05,100
for the fact that you're running late.
76
00:05:05,099 --> 00:05:07,179
(crying)
77
00:05:10,968 --> 00:05:14,098
(rattles door)
78
00:05:14,100 --> 00:05:15,820
Seriously, you locked the door?
79
00:05:16,740 --> 00:05:18,000
- I'm getting ready.
80
00:05:18,000 --> 00:05:20,380
- [Ryan] I've seen you naked every day
81
00:05:20,380 --> 00:05:22,120
for the past three and a half years.
82
00:05:22,117 --> 00:05:23,957
- I'm getting ready.
83
00:05:26,020 --> 00:05:26,990
- [Ryan] Fine, I'm gonna ask this
84
00:05:26,990 --> 00:05:29,090
once through the door then, but that's it.
85
00:05:32,560 --> 00:05:35,090
What are you really mad about?
86
00:05:35,090 --> 00:05:37,170
(crying)
87
00:05:45,270 --> 00:05:46,920
- I can't do anything.
88
00:05:49,130 --> 00:05:51,030
- [Ryan] I can't hear
you through the door.
89
00:05:52,727 --> 00:05:54,807
(crying)
90
00:05:59,930 --> 00:06:02,130
- I need to get ready.
91
00:06:02,130 --> 00:06:03,190
- [Ryan] And I need you to let me in
92
00:06:03,190 --> 00:06:04,940
because what I'm gonna say next, I,
93
00:06:07,080 --> 00:06:08,950
I can't say with a door between us.
94
00:06:12,500 --> 00:06:14,580
(sniffs)
95
00:06:16,480 --> 00:06:17,310
- Fine.
96
00:06:21,750 --> 00:06:23,830
(sniffs)
97
00:06:28,271 --> 00:06:30,771
(door thumps)
98
00:06:35,748 --> 00:06:38,398
- [Ryan] Sanya, you can't
keep treating me like this.
99
00:06:39,304 --> 00:06:41,394
(crying)
100
00:06:44,200 --> 00:06:46,550
I don't know if you know
how you treat me, but,
101
00:06:47,509 --> 00:06:48,859
- (crying) Ryan.
102
00:06:48,862 --> 00:06:50,042
- [Ryan] You're just, you're never happy.
103
00:06:50,040 --> 00:06:52,420
You're never satisfied.
104
00:06:52,420 --> 00:06:53,420
I feel like I can't,
105
00:06:54,750 --> 00:06:56,420
I can't do right by you.
106
00:06:56,422 --> 00:06:59,612
- (sobbing) Please don't leave me.
107
00:06:59,614 --> 00:07:01,864
- [Ryan] I don't want to leave you.
108
00:07:03,701 --> 00:07:04,911
I don't want to leave you,
109
00:07:04,912 --> 00:07:09,052
but you just keep attacking
me and attacking me
110
00:07:09,050 --> 00:07:12,700
until I defend myself and then you cry.
111
00:07:12,704 --> 00:07:16,224
- I'm sorry and you know
I'm sorry, you know I,
112
00:07:16,224 --> 00:07:17,704
(sobbing)
113
00:07:17,700 --> 00:07:19,050
- [Ryan] I know, I know.
114
00:07:20,210 --> 00:07:21,820
Okay, I know, it's just
115
00:07:29,230 --> 00:07:30,920
if you can't see that it's unhealthy
116
00:07:30,920 --> 00:07:32,920
and that I have to be the one to say it.
117
00:07:37,153 --> 00:07:38,403
I mean, can't you see it?
118
00:07:39,390 --> 00:07:40,380
Do you feel healthy?
119
00:07:40,380 --> 00:07:42,140
Does this feel healthy to you?
120
00:07:47,279 --> 00:07:49,359
(sniffs)
121
00:07:50,233 --> 00:07:53,483
- I have to go be a princess right now.
122
00:07:57,167 --> 00:07:58,917
- [Sanya Voiceover] You disconnect.
123
00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:01,370
You separate.
124
00:08:02,810 --> 00:08:05,650
You find a space where the
pain fits and you file it.
125
00:08:08,470 --> 00:08:09,720
You see the solution.
126
00:08:11,150 --> 00:08:12,810
You see it as clear as day.
127
00:08:12,810 --> 00:08:15,480
You see yourself saying, I'm pregnant.
128
00:08:16,780 --> 00:08:18,970
You see him stop, dumbfounded.
129
00:08:19,820 --> 00:08:21,470
You see him pick you up into his arms
130
00:08:21,470 --> 00:08:23,160
like you weight nothing at all.
131
00:08:25,470 --> 00:08:27,180
Instead, you say nothing.
132
00:08:27,180 --> 00:08:28,050
- [Ryan] If that's more
important than this,
133
00:08:28,053 --> 00:08:29,553
then you go and be a princess.
134
00:08:32,550 --> 00:08:35,440
The job's more important, are you serious?
135
00:08:35,440 --> 00:08:37,200
(engine humming)
136
00:08:37,199 --> 00:08:39,449
(sniffing)
137
00:08:53,520 --> 00:08:55,190
- What do you think you're doing?
138
00:08:55,190 --> 00:08:56,380
- Oh, oh yeah, you know what?
139
00:08:56,380 --> 00:08:58,460
I am so sorry that I am late.
140
00:08:58,460 --> 00:09:00,400
I just need five minutes in your bathroom,
141
00:09:00,400 --> 00:09:01,960
warm up my voice and I will
142
00:09:01,958 --> 00:09:03,338
♪ sing to you ♪
143
00:09:03,340 --> 00:09:05,570
I will sing so sweetly, I promise.
144
00:09:05,570 --> 00:09:07,200
- You're late and you're not even ready?
145
00:09:07,200 --> 00:09:08,070
- Well yeah, like I said,
146
00:09:08,070 --> 00:09:09,750
I just need five minutes
to warm up the instrument.
147
00:09:09,747 --> 00:09:12,407
I've been 15 minutes behind
schedule the entire day.
148
00:09:12,410 --> 00:09:14,150
- You're an hour and 15 minutes late
149
00:09:14,150 --> 00:09:15,840
and you come looking like this?
150
00:09:15,840 --> 00:09:17,290
What if the kids see you?
151
00:09:17,290 --> 00:09:19,670
Elsa does not wear
sunglasses and wear jeans?
152
00:09:19,667 --> 00:09:21,767
- Oh Jesus Christ, lady.
153
00:09:21,770 --> 00:09:24,130
Elsa doesn't drive a
Chrysler either, okay?
154
00:09:24,130 --> 00:09:25,730
I don't come in fuckin' costume.
155
00:09:28,230 --> 00:09:29,850
- [Samantha] Are you on drugs?
156
00:09:32,010 --> 00:09:32,840
- What?
157
00:09:34,110 --> 00:09:36,090
No, give me back my sunglasses.
158
00:09:36,089 --> 00:09:37,919
- [Samantha] (laughs)
Oh no, we're done here.
159
00:09:37,920 --> 00:09:39,130
You arrive an hour and a half late--
160
00:09:39,130 --> 00:09:40,940
- [Sanya] Hour and 15 minutes.
161
00:09:42,680 --> 00:09:44,610
- An hour and a half late,
162
00:09:44,610 --> 00:09:46,480
looking like a homeless person,
163
00:09:46,480 --> 00:09:49,000
smelling of weed and who knows what else?
164
00:09:49,998 --> 00:09:52,788
- Who the hell are you, lady?
165
00:09:52,790 --> 00:09:55,000
I haven't done drugs in
my entire goddamn life
166
00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:56,210
so you know what?
167
00:09:56,210 --> 00:09:57,340
Fuck you.
168
00:09:59,610 --> 00:10:00,730
- Fuck you.
169
00:10:00,730 --> 00:10:01,720
- Fuck you.
170
00:10:03,280 --> 00:10:04,180
- Fuck you.
171
00:10:04,183 --> 00:10:06,533
- Fuck you, give me back
my fuckin' sunglasses.
172
00:10:07,560 --> 00:10:08,830
- Fuck you.
173
00:10:08,830 --> 00:10:11,010
- Fuck you and your ugly ass kids.
174
00:10:11,010 --> 00:10:12,810
Give me back my sunglasses.
175
00:10:15,120 --> 00:10:16,940
- Fuck you.
176
00:10:22,020 --> 00:10:24,370
(gasps)
177
00:10:24,369 --> 00:10:26,619
(grunting)
178
00:10:33,220 --> 00:10:34,050
- [Sanya Voiceover] You smell
179
00:10:34,053 --> 00:10:36,723
wasted latte and grass fertilizer.
180
00:10:36,717 --> 00:10:39,127
- (grunting) Oh, no stop.
181
00:10:39,125 --> 00:10:40,565
(grunting)
182
00:10:40,570 --> 00:10:42,920
- [Sanya] You smell Ryan's
scent on his breath.
183
00:10:44,160 --> 00:10:45,660
You feel,
184
00:10:45,662 --> 00:10:48,502
(humming traffic)
185
00:10:49,858 --> 00:10:52,528
You run through the parking lot.
186
00:10:53,960 --> 00:10:55,960
You hear the doctor say she's all right.
187
00:10:57,870 --> 00:10:58,950
You hear the doctor say
188
00:10:58,950 --> 00:11:00,960
that she only sustained minor bruising.
189
00:11:02,970 --> 00:11:05,470
You hear the doctor say
that the baby is fine too.
190
00:11:07,580 --> 00:11:09,330
You don't hear anything after that.
191
00:11:11,899 --> 00:11:14,899
(running footsteps)
192
00:11:24,108 --> 00:11:27,358
(creaking floorboards)
193
00:11:32,650 --> 00:11:35,560
- [Ryan] You sure you want to do this?
194
00:11:35,560 --> 00:11:36,390
- I hit you.
195
00:11:37,243 --> 00:11:39,403
I attacked you, I hit that woman.
196
00:11:41,810 --> 00:11:43,710
I'm losing everything else.
197
00:11:43,711 --> 00:11:46,221
(crying) I can't lose you too.
198
00:11:47,187 --> 00:11:49,987
- Shh.
(crying)
199
00:11:49,987 --> 00:11:50,817
Shh.
200
00:11:52,441 --> 00:11:53,911
(sniffs)
201
00:11:53,905 --> 00:11:55,815
I'm not going anywhere.
202
00:11:56,664 --> 00:11:57,504
Okay?
203
00:11:58,657 --> 00:12:00,567
I'm not going anywhere.
204
00:12:01,417 --> 00:12:03,497
(sniffs)
205
00:12:18,297 --> 00:12:19,477
Oh, no water.
206
00:12:23,362 --> 00:12:25,542
- (sniffs) High school.
207
00:12:25,540 --> 00:12:26,790
I had an eating disorder.
208
00:12:28,260 --> 00:12:30,870
Bulimia specifically.
209
00:12:30,871 --> 00:12:34,411
(sniffs) My sister did too, but uh
210
00:12:35,760 --> 00:12:36,590
years before.
211
00:12:40,543 --> 00:12:42,503
- [Ryan] You never told me that.
212
00:12:42,500 --> 00:12:43,880
- One of the few things that came of it
213
00:12:43,880 --> 00:12:46,480
was that I could swallow
just about anything and
214
00:12:47,810 --> 00:12:48,840
vomit at will,
215
00:12:50,030 --> 00:12:50,860
even now.
216
00:12:53,234 --> 00:12:55,284
- [Ryan] I'm sorry you went through that.
217
00:12:56,750 --> 00:12:59,290
- My favorite thing to
eat then was blue icing.
218
00:13:00,972 --> 00:13:04,582
It had lots of sugar, lots of calories.
219
00:13:06,452 --> 00:13:09,782
It was smooth going down
and smooth coming up.
220
00:13:12,164 --> 00:13:14,364
I even liked the way my vomit looked.
221
00:13:18,300 --> 00:13:20,170
- [Ryan] Okay Sanya, this
is new territory for me
222
00:13:20,170 --> 00:13:22,020
so I'm gonna need a little direction.
223
00:13:23,160 --> 00:13:24,820
Hm, you tell me what you need.
224
00:13:26,730 --> 00:13:29,450
Do you need to feel independent or
225
00:13:29,452 --> 00:13:31,372
you need a little pampering?
226
00:13:31,370 --> 00:13:33,660
- You know, it was
aquatics class that did it.
227
00:13:33,660 --> 00:13:38,660
All those girls with their
slim legs and hips and ankles.
228
00:13:41,010 --> 00:13:42,970
Oh, I always envy other women's ankles.
229
00:13:44,450 --> 00:13:47,720
- [Ryan] Oh well, I happen
to adore your ankles.
230
00:13:47,720 --> 00:13:51,330
- I've always been itty bitty
up top, fuller down below.
231
00:13:51,330 --> 00:13:52,680
- Come here, itty bitty,
232
00:13:52,680 --> 00:13:54,430
let's see if I can take care of ya.
233
00:13:56,071 --> 00:13:58,681
(chuckles)
234
00:13:58,675 --> 00:14:00,755
(groans)
235
00:14:11,670 --> 00:14:12,500
Tell me,
236
00:14:14,260 --> 00:14:17,350
what's this Olanzapine gonna be like?
237
00:14:17,350 --> 00:14:20,990
- Well, for one thing, it
gives me back, leg and arm pain
238
00:14:20,990 --> 00:14:23,390
so you can keep doing that
'cause it feels really good.
239
00:14:23,389 --> 00:14:24,219
- Good.
240
00:14:26,620 --> 00:14:28,590
- It's gonna make me gain a little weight
241
00:14:30,300 --> 00:14:34,790
or at least it did when I was
on it about six years ago.
242
00:14:37,800 --> 00:14:39,500
Headaches, stomach pain.
243
00:14:40,370 --> 00:14:41,630
At times I won't be able to sit still,
244
00:14:41,630 --> 00:14:43,200
but you know that's nothing new for me.
245
00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:45,720
(chuckles)
246
00:14:45,720 --> 00:14:49,960
But it will insure that
I don't feel the need to
247
00:14:49,960 --> 00:14:54,560
throw plates of food
or strike my loved ones
248
00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:55,700
and it will insure I don't see
249
00:14:55,700 --> 00:14:58,660
little purple griffins flying around.
250
00:14:58,659 --> 00:14:59,489
- Was that a problem before?
251
00:14:59,492 --> 00:15:02,672
Were you seeing little purple
griffins flying around?
252
00:15:02,669 --> 00:15:07,589
- No, but if I were, this
would make sure I would not.
253
00:15:07,589 --> 00:15:08,719
Mm.
254
00:15:08,720 --> 00:15:09,840
- Oh.
255
00:15:09,839 --> 00:15:12,079
Oh, right there, right?
256
00:15:12,078 --> 00:15:13,668
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, mm.
257
00:15:13,670 --> 00:15:16,230
- You hold so much tension
258
00:15:17,220 --> 00:15:19,460
on your right side, right down here
259
00:15:19,460 --> 00:15:21,900
and it travels all the way up.
260
00:15:23,349 --> 00:15:24,179
- Ah yeah.
261
00:15:25,579 --> 00:15:28,449
'Cause I'm at work on the
left side of my brain.
262
00:15:28,448 --> 00:15:30,528
(groans)
263
00:15:34,321 --> 00:15:35,151
You know,
264
00:15:36,266 --> 00:15:37,796
I feel like I'm gonna
spend the rest of my life
265
00:15:37,800 --> 00:15:39,090
apologizing to you.
266
00:15:40,685 --> 00:15:42,565
Like some kind of fuck up.
267
00:15:52,581 --> 00:15:54,231
- You're not a fuck up.
268
00:15:54,230 --> 00:15:56,980
- I've been pumped up to
believe I'm something special.
269
00:15:58,150 --> 00:15:59,210
- That's because you are.
270
00:15:59,210 --> 00:16:00,160
- Stop.
271
00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:00,990
- Sanya.
272
00:16:04,450 --> 00:16:05,280
You are so special.
273
00:16:05,283 --> 00:16:06,593
- Ryan, I'm not.
274
00:16:08,021 --> 00:16:10,021
(sighs)
275
00:16:13,432 --> 00:16:15,972
- You put so much pressure on yourself.
276
00:16:15,973 --> 00:16:17,713
- I know, of course.
277
00:16:17,710 --> 00:16:19,920
Of course I do and that's why.
278
00:16:20,960 --> 00:16:23,370
You know, I've been
puffed up my whole life
279
00:16:23,370 --> 00:16:27,800
being told I'm beautiful,
I'm special, I'm unique,
280
00:16:27,800 --> 00:16:29,110
I'm a genius.
281
00:16:33,660 --> 00:16:36,660
Do you have any sort of idea
the strain that instills in me?
282
00:16:40,120 --> 00:16:45,120
This expectation of
greatness and not by you
283
00:16:46,670 --> 00:16:47,890
and not by my family,
284
00:16:49,440 --> 00:16:50,270
but by me.
285
00:16:52,690 --> 00:16:56,170
I'm trying to live up to
this bar I set as a child
286
00:16:56,170 --> 00:16:58,020
that I didn't even know I was making.
287
00:17:00,230 --> 00:17:02,330
I've got rich white girl privilege
288
00:17:02,330 --> 00:17:04,630
pumping through my veins
and through my head
289
00:17:04,630 --> 00:17:06,940
and I've been conditioned to
believe I'm worth something,
290
00:17:06,940 --> 00:17:08,940
but you know what, it's all meaningless.
291
00:17:10,860 --> 00:17:11,690
And I
292
00:17:14,360 --> 00:17:17,040
I have this need in me
293
00:17:20,230 --> 00:17:22,360
to have a life that matters.
294
00:17:25,280 --> 00:17:26,280
But it just doesn't.
295
00:17:29,750 --> 00:17:32,450
I wanted to do something exemplary,
296
00:17:32,450 --> 00:17:35,090
something amazing and I can't.
297
00:17:37,988 --> 00:17:40,548
'Cause you know what?
298
00:17:40,550 --> 00:17:41,910
I'm not good enough.
299
00:17:45,460 --> 00:17:47,060
So I settled.
300
00:17:47,060 --> 00:17:50,710
I settled for something impactful,
301
00:17:50,710 --> 00:17:52,170
something meaningful
302
00:17:53,950 --> 00:17:55,790
in my own small corner of the world
303
00:17:55,790 --> 00:17:56,900
that brought joy to me
304
00:17:57,930 --> 00:17:59,010
and others around me.
305
00:18:02,441 --> 00:18:05,441
And even that, even that, I fuck up.
306
00:18:10,260 --> 00:18:12,590
I fail and now I settle again.
307
00:18:15,269 --> 00:18:16,519
- For what, what are you settling for?
308
00:18:16,520 --> 00:18:18,070
- That's all life is, isn't it?
309
00:18:19,180 --> 00:18:21,290
Just a bunch of little amendments,
310
00:18:21,290 --> 00:18:23,170
little concessions,
311
00:18:23,170 --> 00:18:25,830
until everyone's content
and no one is fulfilled
312
00:18:25,830 --> 00:18:27,070
and I didn't want a life like that.
313
00:18:27,070 --> 00:18:29,220
I didn't want a life full
of small concessions!
314
00:18:29,220 --> 00:18:33,490
I want a big fat life,
thirsty and voluptuous
315
00:18:33,490 --> 00:18:35,450
off the very best of things!
316
00:18:36,360 --> 00:18:38,160
- So what is it you're settling for?
317
00:18:39,520 --> 00:18:40,870
- See and now you're mad at me.
318
00:18:40,871 --> 00:18:41,771
- No, I'm not.
319
00:18:41,769 --> 00:18:44,149
I'm mad at the situation.
320
00:18:44,150 --> 00:18:45,270
- Don't give me that positive
321
00:18:45,270 --> 00:18:47,590
mediator dialogue bullshit, Ryan!
322
00:18:48,630 --> 00:18:51,110
- Well I see that the pills
haven't taken into effect yet.
323
00:18:51,108 --> 00:18:54,218
- You know, I am so sick
of all this positivity
324
00:18:54,220 --> 00:18:56,500
porn that society, jacks off to daily.
325
00:18:56,495 --> 00:18:59,505
These little single serving
inspirational quotes
326
00:18:59,510 --> 00:19:02,220
on Facebook, once relegated to the offices
327
00:19:02,220 --> 00:19:04,470
of middle manager where they belong.
328
00:19:04,470 --> 00:19:05,760
Inspirational quotes are for
329
00:19:05,760 --> 00:19:07,200
the middle management people of life,
330
00:19:07,200 --> 00:19:09,210
those content with mediocrity
331
00:19:09,210 --> 00:19:11,600
and all the P.C. glad
handling and falsity!
332
00:19:11,600 --> 00:19:14,800
Everybody is so afraid to offend everybody
333
00:19:14,800 --> 00:19:16,630
and hurt everybody's feelings because
334
00:19:16,630 --> 00:19:18,870
nobody wants to feel anything!
335
00:19:20,328 --> 00:19:23,078
(crying) Speaking as
somebody who's been molested,
336
00:19:24,344 --> 00:19:25,764
who's been raped,
337
00:19:26,703 --> 00:19:28,013
who's had an eating disorder,
338
00:19:28,010 --> 00:19:31,380
who in fact, has psychological
issues in spades.
339
00:19:31,380 --> 00:19:34,530
I will take being triggered
over this tepid, taupe
340
00:19:34,530 --> 00:19:37,350
version of life that keeps
the machine running smoothly.
341
00:19:37,350 --> 00:19:42,350
I need all my colors, Ryan. (crying)
342
00:19:42,859 --> 00:19:45,029
And I'm pleading with you.
343
00:19:46,889 --> 00:19:50,009
(crying) I'm pleading with one last rant
344
00:19:50,010 --> 00:19:53,070
before these pills put
the primer on my hideous
345
00:19:53,070 --> 00:19:54,470
hand-painted walls.
346
00:19:57,899 --> 00:20:00,069
(sobbing)
347
00:20:10,042 --> 00:20:10,882
You know,
348
00:20:12,620 --> 00:20:14,400
it doesn't even matter anyway.
349
00:20:16,170 --> 00:20:17,510
It's all settling.
350
00:20:19,404 --> 00:20:20,244
All of it.
351
00:20:21,677 --> 00:20:23,967
And I've been doing it my whole life.
352
00:20:25,041 --> 00:20:27,191
(sobbing) My whole life.
353
00:20:28,410 --> 00:20:29,850
- Sanya.
354
00:20:29,854 --> 00:20:33,054
Sanya, why didn't you
tell me you were pregnant?
355
00:20:34,250 --> 00:20:35,080
- I'm not.
356
00:20:37,774 --> 00:20:40,204
- The doctor said the
day of the accident--
357
00:20:40,195 --> 00:20:41,025
- I'm not.
358
00:20:42,917 --> 00:20:45,407
- He seems to think that you are.
359
00:20:45,410 --> 00:20:47,410
- Well he was wrong.
360
00:20:47,407 --> 00:20:48,487
He was wrong.
361
00:20:51,106 --> 00:20:52,456
Please, I need some water.
362
00:20:52,461 --> 00:20:54,961
This shit's dried up my mouth.
363
00:20:59,461 --> 00:21:02,461
(slow gentle music)
364
00:21:08,362 --> 00:21:13,032
(music skipping)
♪ Ohhh ♪
365
00:21:18,970 --> 00:21:23,640
(music skipping)
♪ Ohhh ♪
366
00:21:29,644 --> 00:21:34,314
(music skipping)
♪ Ohhh ♪
367
00:21:41,207 --> 00:21:46,117
(slow gentle music)
♪ Ohhh ♪
368
00:21:51,607 --> 00:21:53,517
♪ Ohhh ♪
369
00:22:02,505 --> 00:22:07,505
♪ Ohhh ♪
370
00:22:09,409 --> 00:22:13,249
♪ To have a girl like her ♪
371
00:22:13,248 --> 00:22:18,248
♪ Ohhh, it's truly a dream come true ♪
372
00:22:20,071 --> 00:22:23,901
♪ To have a girl like her ♪
373
00:22:23,903 --> 00:22:26,743
♪ Ohhh, it's truly a dream come true ♪
25909
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