Original subtitles

- [Singapore] Whenever you are ready.

- My name is Sanya Belusov, and this is my game:

Maze of Minos.

Like that?

- [Singapore] Yeah, real big like that, and then

my animator buddy Skip is gonna add in the animation.

- Great!

Do you think we could maybe move the camera someplace else?

I just feel like with this backdrop,

just a little nnnrrr.

- [Singapore] Yeah.

- Yeah.

- [Singapore] Yeah, this is your shindig, I'm just

the dude behind the camera.

- Okay, um, great.

Nadie, do you think it'd be okay if we had this

in front of us?

- [Nadine] I do, yes.

- Make sure you fix that collar.

Sanya?

- Oh, thanks.

- [Singapore] Okay, now Sanya, remember, really animated!

- Okay.

- [Singapore] Go ahead.

- My name is Sanya Belusov.

I'm the game designer.

- [Singapore] You don't need to say that you're

the game designer.

We can throw that up with text when we edit.

Okay, just "I am Sanya Belusov, this is my game,

Maze of Minos", but animated.

- Wait, you're animating it?

- [Singapore] No, be animated!

You!

- Oh, right, duh.

Okay, yeah.

- [Singapore] Like, energetic, or exuberant.

- Yeah, yeah, okay!

- [Singapore] Go ahead.

- My name's Sanya Belusov.

I'm the ga--

My name's Sanya Belusov,

and this is my game,

Maze of Minos.

- [Singapore] It's big, Sanya.

Big.

Remember, explosion of animation the second you

say the title.

So you really need to bridge that for the people watching.

- Hey, while you're stopped,

can I touch up her makeup real quick?

- [Singapore] Lemon Drop, baby, please!

- I'm not gonna be able to watch this if her eye make-up

makes her look like she has a lazy eye.

- I look like I have a lazy eye?

- [Singapore] It's a two second shot!

- And no one is gonna be able to look at anything else.

- Nadie, do I look like I have a lazy eye?

- [Nadine] You look beautiful.

- Look up.

- [Singapore] The shot isn't even in close-up enough

that this is gonna matter.

- [Freddy] And can I please remind everyone that Brian

lent us the space, but only until the Magic the Gathering

tournament starts at 6:00.

- [Singapore] That gives us 15 minutes and this is

our only shot!

- Hey, the camera isn't on me, right?

- [Singapore] It is right now!

- No, I mean while you shoot the shot.

- [Singapore] Baby, just scoot, please!

Whenever you're ready.

- My name is Sanya Belusov,

and this is my game,

Maze of Minos!

How was that, Nadine?

Can we stop and start for the next one, Sing?

- [Singapore] Yeah.

(mystical music playing)

- [Sanya] Nadie, how was that?

Nadine?

- Um, Sing's right.

More animated.

This is your passion.

We should feel it, even in this short bit.

- Sing, I gotta go to the bathroom, like, real bad,

so if the camera's not on me--

- Fine, fine.

- Okay.

- Just quick, though!

Everyone who needs to go, now is the time.

- You need to stop looking at me like that

in front of everyone.

- It's just my passion coming through.

When's your next run?

- I don't know.

- When--

- This is a very small bathroom.

- When?

- Stop!

Stop.

- When?

I need your touch.

I need your hands.

When?

When?

Oh, when?

Oh, when?

When?

Mmm, when?

Oh, please kiss me!

Please kiss me!

(heavy breathing)

(water running)

- [Lemon Drop] When?

I can't get enough of you.

I want to absorb you into my pores.

I wanna sink into you like a ship wrecked at sea--

- Okay, okay.

- [Lemon Drop] When?

- Tonight.

- [Freddy] Hey, you mind if I dip in to

some of the party weed?

- If you dip in to the bud, you'll dip in to the munchies.

- [Freddy] I'll buy more tomorrow.

- So are you asking or doing right now?

- I'm doin'.

But, I am courteously allowing the opportunity for protest.

- I just thought I was spending the remainder of my evening

with Sober Fred and not High Fred.

- You have had Sober Fred all day.

I don't have a lighter.

- It's not a formal protest,

just don't stay up all night grazing.

- Don't leave your leftovers in the fridge forever

and expect them to still be there.

- Just not the pumpkin roll.

Can we agree, while I still have Sober Fred,

not the pumpkin roll?

- Not the pumpkin roll.

Besides, I'm not smoking to eat, I'm smoking to fall asleep.

- So I shouldn't turn on Orange is the New Black, right?

- No.

I wanna watch that.

Right now, all I wanna do is eat this bowl of cheese curl

and pass the fuck out.

- I thought, just, the pumpkin roll is a treat

for Singapore, and the cheese curls are for Sanya.

So, if you eat them, you have to replace them

before the party tomorrow.

I'm going for a run.

- Do what makes ya happy!

- [Sanya] You run.

You run to Lemon's house.

Your Lemon's house.

You know she's waiting for you in her sports bra and

baggy sleeveless t-shirt and her skintight yoga pants

that press against your knuckles and wrists when you

shove your hand down them.

You prefer using your hand.

You're pretty sure she does, too.

You look in to her eyes as she pleads.

She whimpers when you touch her.

You love it.

It's enough to get you off without her doing a damn thing.

You can think of no one that's desired you as much.

And then you run.

You feel the endorphins pump through your veins,

like a pulse of vitality.

You push yourself until the euphoria of the run reaches

the highs of your love for her.

Yours is nothing short of mercury poisoning from eating

too much sushi.

Your love is like paint fumes chipping away

at your wrinkles, and plastic-lined carpets catching

all your life's missteps.

It's olive oil and rosemary sourdough bread and

Chubby Hubby ice cream back when the pretzels were still

peanut butter filled, and your co-worker Morgan's

raspberry kiffles and Grandma Wendy's

garlic mashed potatoes with butter cascading down the sides.

And Chinese food.

And Chinese food.

And Chinese food.

(door opening)

It's cigarettes after sex.

And the way Fred's laugh made you think you didn't

really miss it.

Your love is all the little, sweet poisons you ingested

for your entire life all rolled in to one.

And you run.

You run with the abandon of a child until you

sweat all your yesterdays in to the gravel that

trails at your heels and hungrily gasp for life

and tomorrow.

- Are you seriously dipping pieces of pepperoni

in a mayonnaise jar?

- Keto, girl!

You gotta get those fats.

Mom's avocados are rock hard.

Was I too loud?

- No, no.

I just heard the creaking from downstairs,

and mom's never up this late.

- Look at you making fun of my pepperoni and you've got

cheese curls shmootz on your face and crumbs--

- All right, I'm clocking in some anime time, okay?

- It looks like you've blown Tony the Tiger.

- Tony the Tiger is the Frosted Flakes tiger.

- Who do I mean?

- You're talking about Cheetos?

- What's the name of the tiger that does the Cheetos

commercials?

- Don't make it sound like there's a live actor tiger

out there somewhere doing commercials.

I mean, there's not some exalted, sentient tiger out there

with an agent doing commercials, Nadine.

- It would be a weretiger.

- It's a cartoon.

- But what's his name?

- And he's a cheetah.

- But what's his name?

- Like, he's not even a tiger at all, he's a cheetah.

- But what's his name?

- The Cheetos Cheetah, I don't know! Can I have a pepperoni?

So you just, you just dip, dip dip dip dip dip dip dippity.

- It's only beneficial if you're on keto.

- But it still tastes pretty good.

- It's pretty fucking good.

I'm having an affair.

- What?

With who, I mean?

You're cheating on Freddy?

- Those would be all the major plot point questions.

- No, there's also why?

- You've always been beautiful, Sanya.

Us fat people have to stay in our lane.

- Oh, so now that you're thin, you think--

- Thinner.

I'm not thin.

- Okay, I don't have time for your body image backtalk.

You are beautiful, and I don't know all the right ways

to say stuff all the time.

What I do know, is trading Freddy now that you're thin is

pretty shitty.

- That's not what this is,

and fuck you for thinking that it is.

This has next to nothing to do with him.

As a matter of fact, Freddy knows.

He knows what's going on, so maybe don't be a

judgmental bitch when I'm trying to open up to you.

- Jesus, Nadine, I'm sorry, okay?

- I'm gonna need a shower. I smell like wet garbage.

Go the fuck home right now but their showers have

better water pressure.

Seriously, Sanya, maybe think before assuming the worst

of me all the time.

- Chester Cheetah.

It's Chester Cheetah.

(sobbing)

- [Nadine] Are you seriously crying about this?

- I'm sorry!

I'm sorry I let you down, Nadie.

- Jesus, Sanya.

How can anyone say anything to you if you're always

gonna have some sort of meltdown about it?

- I don't think the worst of you.

- All my life it's tiptoes I take around you.

I'm the one who was hurt by what you said.

Me.

- I know, I'm sorry.

- It's like kicking a puppy.

I can't tell you what bothers me because

you turn it around and make me feel like I'm abusing you.

You can be angry about whatever you want,

but I do the same and I'm the asshole.

- You're right.

I do it to everyone, I'm such a piece of shit.

- Oh, fuck, come here.

You're not a piece of shit.

- I am. I'm a piece of shit.

- You're not a piece of shit, now shut up.

You just gotta let people be angry at you sometimes.

Doesn't mean I'm going anywhere.

Fuck.

I still love you, you fucking idiot.

See, I'm allowed to call you names.

You are not allowed to call yourself names.

Come on, don't cry.

- I miss Ryan so much, Nadine.

- Sweetheart, I know, I know.

You just--

- Everybody leaves me.

- I'm not leaving you.

I'm right here.

I'm not going anywhere.

Shh, shh, shh.

(sobbing)

- Hila hila sayga.

Hurt hurt, go away.

Go away, you bad hurt.

Leave my poor Sanya alone.

- What is that?

- You don't remember that?

- No.

- Whenever you or I were sick or sad or hurt, Dad would say,

"Hila hila sayga."

You used to get migraines all the time.

You don't remember?

- No.

- You'd get them all the time, and you'd say,

"Daddy, say hila hila sayga."

- I did?

- You both suffered from migraines.

He got them worse than you, even.

He'd nearly black out from the pain.

I remember it vividly

because you'd do it for him, too.

You'd say, "Hila hila sayga,

hurt hurt go away.

Go away, you bad hurt, leave my poor daddy alone."

- I can't believe I don't remember.

- You must've been only about four.

He was in the hospital.

I remember both of us sitting at his bedside.

You didn't know what was going on.

You just kept saying it

over and over.

And I was a teenager

but I was a kid, too, ya know?

(crying)

So I started saying it, too.

Hila hila sayga.

Hurt hurt, go away.

Go away, bad hurt.

(sobbing)

And leave my poor daddy alone.

And then I remember I started yelling at him.

I was pleading, "Would you just say bah?"

Because that's what he'd say whenever there was a problem.

He'd say, say bah.

Like,

he had to fix the sink.

He'd say,

say bah.

And then when the job was done, we'd say bah.

Like,

after he said, "Hila hila sayga",

when you were better he'd say, "say, bah."

And we'd say "bah."

Oh Sanya.

I hadn't thought about that in a million years.

No wonder we're both so fucked up.

- I can't believe I don't remember any of it.

- I need a drink.

- You know, I don't have any real memories of Dad.

- You were only four, Sanya.

- I have other memories from when I was four.

- Keep talking, I need a drink.

- Remember Chris Doves, our black neighbor?

I thought his skin was so beautiful.

And his dad was missing an ear, and it was all scar tissue

and a hole.

I remember,

I do remember Dad.

There was a dead squirrel behind Chris's house in a field.

And I was talking to it.

I don't remember what I was saying, maybe it was

hila hila sayga, but

Dad was there.

I don't remember him so much as I remember his presence.

The presence of Dad standing over me.

And I must've asked after the squirrel, because

he said, "Don't worry, it's just sleeping."

But I knew.

Something in me knew he was lying, that it was dead.

I could feel it.

I didn't know the word for it at the time, but

I could feel its emptiness.

The void it left.

I recognized it.

And I knew it wasn't in pain, or suffering.

So maybe I never said hilo hilo sayga to bring Dad back.