All language subtitles for Mixedish s02e12 Walk This Way.eng

BOW: My Aunt Denise was the coolest.

She had killer dance moves,

awesome style, and she was so funny.

Which is why my dad always
wanted to be friends with her.

A new puzzle. Want to jigsaw with me?

Do I look infirm?

But it never really worked out.

Hey, Denise. Want a beer?

[Beer thuds, fizzes]

No.

? Looks into my eyes ?

- Uh-uh-uh.
- Uh-uh-uh.

- Hey!
- Hey!

My siblings and I were all
super-close with Aunt Denise.

- Ooh!
- ? Oh, I lose control ?

And Paul!

? Can't seem to get enough ?

But when it came to my dad...

Look at what you did.
You ruined handshakes. Go.

...she wouldn't give him
the time of day.

You are boring that poor boy to death.

Which I know isn't easy
because he's used to Paul.

I'm sorry, but he does not have

the right "pigmentation situation."

- Paul's taking them.
- But I don't like Paul.

Even still, my dad was always

looking for opportunities
to bond with her.

Okay, so you know that shawl
I bought for myself

for not getting any
parking tickets last month?

Well, it turns out
it looks more like a cape.

I can't be out here looking
like Wonder Woman's auntie.

Why don't you return it?

I would, except for I can't
find the receipt anywhere.

I even taped together
everything from the shredder,

but it was all just pictures of
my ex and a jury duty summons.

Hmm.

I could do it for you.

[Scoffs] Yeah, they never
give him a hard time.

In fact, a couple of weeks ago,
he returned opened underwear,

and they gave him a full refund.

- In cash.
- Without a receipt?

- Yup.
- Open underpants?

"Slightly used" open underpants.

See?

Paul wouldn't mind
helping you out with this.

Oh, I couldn't put you out.

No, no, I'll do it. I-I'll do it.

C'mon, let me do it.

- Okay.
- Ahh.

Looks like Master Alabaster and
I are finally gonna hang out.

Maybe don't call him that.

No, no, no, that's fine.
She just gave me a nickname.

I'm free anytime, D-Cup.

??

Oh, God, no. No.

It's just because you're holding a cup.

The D...

Sorry.

Mnh-mnh.

? In the mix ?

? Oh, oh, oh, they keep trying ?

? But they can't stop us ?

? 'Cause we got a love ?

? That keeps rising up ?

? In the mix ?

? Life turns around ?

? 'Round and 'round it goes ?

? Ooh, it's a mixed-up world ?
? Ooh, it's a mixed-up ?

? And that's for sure ?
? Mixed-up ?

? In the mix ?
? Baby ?

? We're gonna get by ?

? We're gonna ?
? On our own, side by side ?

? Love's all we need to be free ?
? Lo-o-o-ve is all ?

? I got you, you got me ?

? Yaaaaay us! ?

? I-I-In the mix ?

? Yaaaaay us! ?

? I-I-In the mix-ish ?

My dad was more than happy
to return my aunt's shawl

if it meant getting
to hang out with her,

and my aunt was just happy
to never see that shawl again.

Here you go. Full refund.

[Laughs] Wow, Paul!

I thought today was gonna be
awkward and a waste of time,

but now that I have $30 in my hand,

I feel differently.

Believe it or not,
that was the first compliment

my aunt had ever given my father.

Goodbye.

W-Wait.

I-Is there anything else
I can help you with?

Well, I was thinking about
returning my ThighMaster,

but then I realized
it's at the perfect angle

to prop open my window
when I need to scream

at the neighbor's kids to keep it down.

They do not like me.

Well, you know, I... I can do more

than just return things
without receipts.

??

Like what?

Have you ever used a bathroom
at a restaurant

that you were not eating at?

Of course not.

Look, society reinforces my entitlement,

and I use it all the time
to help Alicia.

So let me help you out.

I am conditioned to believe
that the world is my oyster,

so why not take the pearl?

That's not a saying,

but I'm scooping up
what you're slapping down.

Also not a saying.

Can you help me use
some expired coupons?

- Easy.
- What about going to a hotel pool

without being a guest?

Well, if the pool is empty,
who's it hurting?

What if I wanted to mouth off to a cop,

then punch his police horse?

Absolutely not.

Okay, that was a test. You passed.

I would never hurt a horse.
They're nature's statues.

??

- [Sighs]
- Careful. Careful.

Uh, y'all better not

be trying to sneak another pet
into this house.

- These are chocolate bars.
- Hmm.

We have to sell these
for a school fundraiser.

The top-selling family
wins a mystery grand prize.

And the three of us have come up with

a foolproof plan to get it.

Great. What is it?

You're gonna buy them all.

No, I'm not.

Fine. Where's Dad? He's a sucker.

No, he's not.

Okay, but you're not
gonna learn anything

if we do all the work for you.

But all my friends use their parents.

Tommy's dad buys all of
his chocolates every year.

Plus, the only adults we know
are you and our teachers,

and Ms. Collins asked
to borrow money from me.

She has a Diet Coke addiction.

Here's what we're gonna do.

You guys are gonna come to my office

and sell to my co-workers.

Well...

if we knew that we were actually
gonna have to sell them,

we probably wouldn't have
signed up for so much product,

- but okay.
- Great.

And you'll see that
there's nothing better

than the feeling of putting in
a hard day's work,

especially at your first job.

Oh, no, no, no.

This is not gonna be my first job.

Modeling will.

Don't act surprised.

My first job
is going to be a fire truck.

Don't act surprised.

While we were about to learn
the value of honest work,

my dad and Aunt Denise

were doing almost the exact opposite.

??

Excuse me.

I'd like to try these on.

Paul, you up.

No problem.

Excuse me...

my good friend here would like
to try these shoes on.

Of course. Sorry about that.
Uh, what size?

- 7.
- Uh, let's also get a 6 1/2,

- a 7, and a 7 1/2, just in case.
- No problem.

And I'd like those
complimentary try-on socks

in each of those sizes, too.

You got it.

I got it. [Chuckles]

You got it.

Hello, Mastercard?

I'm going to need you to remove

this international fee
from Denise's bill.

? Yeah, baby, she's got it ?

He's saying you were in Mexico.

I was in Canc�n.
I wasn't in real Mexico.

? I'm your Venus, I'm your fire ?

This is simply unacceptable.

??

Thank you very much.

Hey!

[Both laugh]

All right, now... do these.

[Chuckles]

? She's got it ?

See, walk in with me,
and they think you're a member.

Does that mean
you can get us pi�a coladas?

Oh, sure thing, Double D's.

Nope. I just... [Sighs]

I'm really struggling
with a nickname for you.

It's because your name is Dee-Dee.

Unh-unh.

This is fun, right?

- We're having fun.
- Yeah.

But you're gonna get me some nachos.

- Right after I do this cannonball.
- [Both laugh]

Despite this being the most fun day

my dad had ever spent with my aunt...

Get me some extra jalape�os!

[Water splashes]

...he couldn't help the nagging
feeling that he was being used.

- Paul, get in line. Go get those drinks.
- [Sighs]

After helping my aunt with her errands,

my dad took a different tactic

to allow them to hang out.

What are we doing here?

Lunch.

Lunch?

Like, "Eating 90% of your salad,

- then finding a sock in it" lunch?
- [Chuckles]

Or just you and me sitting down
in front of food?

Yeah, just you and me hanging out

over our bowls of minestrone soup,

assuming that's the special,
which I know it is.

It always is.

So you want to hang out?

Okay. Then I just have
one question... why?

Because we've known each other
nearly two decades,

and we never chill, just you and me.

And you don't think
that has anything to do

with how you just used the word "chill"?

Denise, come on. Just give it a shot.

I mean, the rest of the day
went pretty well, huh?

Let's really get to know each other.

Okay. Why not?

[Chuckling] Okay. That's the spirit.

Okay.

Yeah.

Cool.

This is... This is more like it.

Yeah.

[Both chuckle]

- Yeah.
- [Sighs]

Yep. We're... [chuckles] hanging out.

Mm. Here we are.

Hanging out.

[Chuckles]

Yep.

Yep.

??

So...

??

So...

??

- Wonder what the soup is.
- Minestrone.

Oh, yeah. Minestrone.

[Both chuckle]

ALICIA: Come on. Let's go.

Ooh.

You know how all these people got here?

The bus?

No, I'm not asking how
they literally got to work.

I'm wondering if you know what trait

all these successful people
have in common.

A strong work ethic.

There's no walking these halls
without one of those.

Doesn't Aunt Dee-Dee work here?

Yes. But not today.

Her Tuesdays are her double Saturdays.

Mm-hmm. Anyway, let's start
with your grandfather.

Show him what you got, kids.

- How can that be jury tampering?
- [Knock on door]

- It was one snake, and mostly a joke.
- [Door opens]

You... [Sighs, scoffs]

But he did...

Oh. Judges.

Hey, Harrison. You have a sec?

Yeah. Hi, guys.

The kids are here, and they have
an opportunity for you.

Go ahead.

[Mumbling] Hey, Granddad,
you want to buy some chocolate?

What? What is he saying?

[Sighs] Guys, you have to try
harder than that.

Hey... Y... Stand up!

We're selling chocolate for school.

So can we count on your support?

Please say yes so I can go home.

Kids, come on. That was terrible.

Seriously, that did nothing for me,

and I am extraordinarily
susceptible to marketing.

Who has stock in the Clapper?

This guy.

Okay, so let's try this again.

Do we have to?

Yes. There are no shortcuts in life.

Now, make your sales pitch again,

but this time, add some razzle-dazzle.

Okay. Granddad, do you want to
buy some chocolate?

Razzle-dazzle.

How can I say no [Chuckling] to that?

No.

Wow, that was a lot easier
than I thought.

Okay, so he said no.

You got to keep on pressing.
I mean, it's chocolate.

How hard could it be to sell?

And after lunch,

half of the people in this
office will be a little tipsy,

which should make it easier.

Goodbye.

Thank you.

Get up.

Mm-hmm.

Go.

Meanwhile,

my dad was still working on
bonding with Aunt Dee-Dee.

Pretty good, right?

In hindsight, I probably
shouldn't have ordered the soup.

I can tell this is just
pizza toppings that went south.

Mnh, ohh.

Look, we tried.

But just like my romantic relationship

with Black Ghostbuster Ernie Hudson,

this is going nowhere.

You dated Ernie Hudson?

No, but that's only because
he never answered my letters.

Oh.

Paul, I don't think this is gonna work.

No, D-Denise, Dee, okay,
so lunch isn't that great,

but I-I really do think
we can make this work.

Look, I know this isn't what you want,

but if it makes you feel better,
it's not you, it's me...

when I'm around you.

So let's just be adults
about this, okay?

I'm gonna get the check,
order two more to-go pizzas

because my stove isn't working,

and you're gonna have to pay for it.

Sound good?

W-Wait, why isn't your stove working?

Oh, it's my apartment.

They haven't updated
my plumbing or electrical

since I moved in there,

but they've been doing it
for every other unit.

I can help you out with that.

- You can?
- Absolutely.

Look, Denise, there is nothing
a confident White man can't do.

- Hmm.
- Let's use racism to our advantage

and bring Master Alabaster
out of retirement

for one last score.

Okay. Let's do it.

Okay.

Oh, let's add three more
to-go pizzas to this.

But you said two.

Do you want to be friends or not?

- Three.
- WAITER: Okay.

Hey, I got chocolates.
Don't you want some chocolates?

- MAN: No, thank you, young lady.
- They're so...

We spent the next couple of hours

- trying to sell our chocolate...
- Want some chocolates?

- So good I even ate them.
- No. No, no, no. No, no.

- ...but ended up with nothing much
- [Sighs]

to show for it.

Well, that was a bust.

I only sold two bars to a janitor.

I sold five.

And by "sold," I mean I left
them in the petty cash drawer

- and took what I was owed.
- Mm.

I sold negative 12.

What does that mean?

I ate 12.

They're terrible, but I can't stop.

Oh, my God, this is hopeless.

I mean, Mom and all her dumb hard work!

Yeah, I mean, when I grow up,

I'm only gonna take shortcuts in life.

There has to be an easier way.

Well, the good news is,

it looks like you're healing
from your accident.

Yeah, the doctor says I should
be out of the neck brace

- in no time.
- Oh, no need to rush on that.

- Are you sure?
- Oh, yeah.

We want a sympathetic jury,

so if you happen to have your neck brace

for when the trial happens, you know...

And while you're at it,
don't forget those crutches.

Have a good day.

Did Mom just say
sympathy helps you sell?

Oh, you guys are gonna have to
take the lead on that one.

I don't know how to make people
feel bad for me.

I just know how to make them jealous.

??

So, Mr. Nelson,
it has come to our attention

that you've been upgrading
electrical and plumbing

in other units, but you have yet
to do that for Denise.

My doorbell turns on
my garbage disposal.

I'm sorry. There's nothing
I can do about that right now.

- Oh.
- Well, that is simply unacceptable.

She needs a complete upgrade.

Well, we upgrade the apartments
when the unit turns over.

Look, if... if there's not
a change in the situation,

I don't see how she can pay
this month in good conscience.

No, Denise is prepared to
rip up her rent check

unless you agree to those improvements.

- Yep. I'll tear it up.
- She'll tear it up.

- I'll tear it right up.
- Right now.

[Chuckles] Here I go.

- Here she goes.
- Unless you stop me.

And the only way to stop her
is with those upgrades.

- Upgrade.
- Say it, or else she tears it.

I'm gonna do it.

She's gonna do it.

- Okay, here I go.
- She's doing it.

Look.

Mm.

[Chuckles]

??

- Wow!
- Ha!

Bet he's listening now.

Oh, yeah. [Chuckles]

??

Well, I certainly
did not see this coming.

If you need me, I'll be in my room.

Which is your room.

Johan, come help your daddy
move my waterbed!

And don't forget the pump!

[Suitcase thuds]

- Hey.
- Hello. How happy would your kids be

if you came home from work
with tons of chocolate?

Well, my dogs are my kids,
and dogs can't eat chocolate.

Do you have any nieces or nephews?

Because you definitely
have weird aunt energy.

We have, um, a crisp...

Oh.

You know the hardest part
about raising kids?

I don't talk about kids with women.

It's all the uncertainties.

You instill all these values
and beliefs in them,

hoping that they'll work,
but you don't know,

until you see things like this,

when you see them putting what
you taught them into practice...

Those are the moments you know

that you're doing this
parenting thing right.

Look, I really should get back to work.

But it's for a good cause.

See, my brother... he's unwell.

[Door opens]

??

[Gasps] Oh, bless his little heart.

Oh!

You're definitely getting
this parenting thing right.

Oh, hell, no. [Scoffs]

You know what?
I will buy some chocolate.

I'll buy all of it.

You know, we also accept tips.

Uh, what's going on?

What's going on is we're
about to close a deal.

Yeah, don't mess this up for us.

Dolores, I'm so sorry.

Nothing is wrong with my son.

I can't believe
you're taking a shortcut.

What happened to hard work?

Were you guys not listening
to anything I taught you?

Of course. Who do you think
we learned this from?

Yeah, we saw you talking to your client

about using his neck brace
to get sympathy

so the jury would buy
whatever you were selling.

[Scoffs] Yeah, but I was
doing something different.

How?

Because...

I am a l...

I was...

[Sighs] Why don't you go home?

Kids, ignore everything
your mother just said.

I'll buy the whole lot.

[All gasp]

Well, what about hard work?

- They're not gonna learn anything.
- What do they need to learn?

What they just pulled was brilliant.

Besides, sometimes it's
all about working smarter,

- not harder.
- Hmm.

And they certainly outsmarted Dolores.

I'm still here.

I know.

Okay, so, uh, who do I
make the checks payable to?

Cash.

Try again.

??

I wonder how many other homeless
people ended up on the street

because of an overconfident
brother-in-law.

I'm sorry. I know I overreached.

It's not entirely your fault.

We flew too close to the sun.

- Like Icarus.
- Yeah.

Icarus Jones,

my friend who lost his pilot
license for hot-doggin'.

Although, none of this
would have happened

if you hadn't wanted to
be friends so bad.

Denise, is that such a bad idea?

Yes.

We have a good thing, Paul.

I make fun of you
and pawn your garden tools

when I need a little
walking-around money,

and you don't ask a lot of questions.

Why mess that up trying for more?

Well, because you're one of
the most important people

to all the people I love.

I-I-I just had hoped that
the family I married into

would... would become
my family, you know?

But it just feels like
there's been more barriers

because of who we are.

Well, it's true...

as a matter of taste,

I don't associate with White men
who wear sandals,

but I'm scooping up
what you're slapping down.

And just to be clear, I'm not
desperate to be your friend.

I'm desperate to be your family.

So if you want to start
calling me Brother...

Brother Paul... I won't object.

We're not doing that.

- But we did have fun today.
- [Door opens]

- [Glasses clink]
- [Door closes]

[Clears throat]

My day was a disaster.
How'd you guys fare?

Whew! A bit of a roller coaster.

I drank a pi�a colada in a pool,
and now I'm homeless.

Yeah. We had a little chat
with her landlord,

uh, that didn't go as planned,

and, um, she got evicted.

Hold up, you got evicted?

Mm-hmm.

[Hall & Oates' "I Can't Go
for That (No Can Do)" plays]

You know what? Let's go.

I could use a win.

? I can't go for that ?

- ? No ?
- ? No ?

? No can do ?

- [Knock on door]
- Come in.

Who are you?

I'm Denise Johnson's attorney.

And I'm Denise Johnson's brother.

It has come to my understanding

that you illegally threatened
my client with eviction.

Are you aware of
the city ordinance 7B 4.2?

No.

It protects people like Denise
from slumlords like you.

- I'm not a slumlord!
- Oh, I love it when she hits them

- with that super lawyer talk.
- Me too.

She did that same type of talk
to our parents

so we could go see a Jackson 5
concert in Detroit.

- She called them slumlords and everything.
- [Chuckles]

If you do this, we'll have
no choice but to file suit,

and I promise you, the law
is on my side with this one.

Okay. Okay, fine. She can stay.

Can everybody clear out of here?

I'll go take down the "For Lease" sign.

- ? Ahh ?
- ? Ahh ?

- ? Ahh-ahh ?
- Unh!

- That was amazing. Thank God for Alicia.
- [Chuckles]

And for ordinance 7B 4.2.

Yeah, I made that up,
but today I learned

that sometimes it's better
to work smart than hard.

? I can't go for that ?

I think I've finally found
what we have in common...

- Alicia bailing us out.
- That's true.

Now, who wants to celebrate

with pi�a coladas
and cannonballs at the hotel?

- [Chuckles]
- ? I can't go for that, can't go for that ?

Looks like your fundraiser prize
arrived!

Get ready to feel the sweet reward

for all of the hard-slash-smart
work you put in.

- Check it out!
- Come on.

[Chuckles]

??

What is it?

It was supposed to be a Frisbee,

but it looks more like a sour cream lid.

All that work.

All that effort.

For this?

Well, maybe the true prize
of fulfillment is in here.

I got nothing.

- We've been had!
- You've been had?

I bought $7,000 worth of candy.

Where's Dad?

We need a White guy to sort this out.

- Mm.
- Mm-hmm.

??