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1
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The first time was to my cousin
when we were seven.
2
00:00:35,680 --> 00:00:39,479
He declined because
I smelt of wet tennis balls.
3
00:00:39,480 --> 00:00:43,599
Then to Gemma, but just to be clear,
4
00:00:43,600 --> 00:00:47,120
I loved her a lot, lot less
when I asked her.
5
00:00:48,160 --> 00:00:51,080
Sorry, you do realise I'm standing
right here when you say that?
6
00:00:51,139 --> 00:00:52,698
Totally lame.
7
00:00:52,699 --> 00:00:53,979
Girls, what did you think?
8
00:00:53,980 --> 00:00:56,338
Er, could do better. I liked it.
9
00:00:56,339 --> 00:00:59,498
If I'm being honest, everything
you're saying sounds a bit... Lame?
10
00:00:59,499 --> 00:01:03,498
When I proposed to you when
we got married, was that lame?
11
00:01:03,499 --> 00:01:04,898
No.
12
00:01:04,899 --> 00:01:07,218
Right, I'm out of here.
13
00:01:07,219 --> 00:01:08,738
Oh, no, no, Alfie, hang on!
14
00:01:08,739 --> 00:01:12,818
Wait, wait, wait, wait! Look, please.
Remember Operation Badger Removal.
15
00:01:12,819 --> 00:01:16,378
We've got to get Jason out of here,
it's like we're married again.
16
00:01:16,379 --> 00:01:19,178
We've got to get Inca to
say yes to his proposal.
17
00:01:19,179 --> 00:01:23,179
Do you want to listen to him singing
Angels every morning for the rest of your life?!
18
00:01:24,899 --> 00:01:26,898
? When I'm lyin' in my bed
19
00:01:26,899 --> 00:01:28,858
? Thoughts running through my head
20
00:01:28,859 --> 00:01:30,458
? And I feel like love is dead
21
00:01:30,459 --> 00:01:34,139
? I'm lovin' angels instead
22
00:01:37,219 --> 00:01:41,258
? And through it all... ?
23
00:01:41,259 --> 00:01:42,619
Fine!
24
00:01:45,086 --> 00:01:47,405
Have a go on me.
I'm not proposing to you.
25
00:01:47,406 --> 00:01:50,086
Oh, well, tough, because
I'm sick of saying no to you.
26
00:01:51,926 --> 00:01:53,486
Fine.
27
00:01:56,366 --> 00:01:58,326
Yason, you want to
be speaking to me?
28
00:01:58,327 --> 00:02:00,205
Oh, that is eerie.
29
00:02:00,206 --> 00:02:01,246
OK.
30
00:02:03,286 --> 00:02:06,325
Inca, I like you. You like me?!
Oh, well, big bloody deal!
31
00:02:06,326 --> 00:02:10,165
You like eating the sausages
made from the hooves and the lips!
32
00:02:10,166 --> 00:02:12,125
Oh, forget it. Oh, Alfie, stop it.
33
00:02:12,126 --> 00:02:14,405
Is that legal?
Aren't you related or something?
34
00:02:14,406 --> 00:02:15,766
Well, not by blood. Oh, hang on!
35
00:02:15,767 --> 00:02:18,445
You've got the gift of the gab.
How would you propose to a woman?
36
00:02:18,446 --> 00:02:21,005
I don't know,
I haven't given it much thought.
37
00:02:21,006 --> 00:02:23,246
Oh, come on, laughing boy.
Give us what you've got.
38
00:02:23,247 --> 00:02:26,085
Oh, Jason, he doesn't have to.
I mean, you really don't have to.
39
00:02:26,086 --> 00:02:28,765
Come on, Billy! Please.
Yeah, come on, please.
40
00:02:28,766 --> 00:02:30,766
OK. Probably something like...
41
00:02:32,846 --> 00:02:37,445
You come to love not by
finding the perfect person,
42
00:02:37,446 --> 00:02:41,845
but by seeing an
imperfect person perfectly.
43
00:02:41,846 --> 00:02:44,446
You are my imperfect person,
44
00:02:45,886 --> 00:02:47,566
and I see you...
45
00:02:48,926 --> 00:02:50,366
perfectly.
46
00:02:55,526 --> 00:02:56,925
I do.
47
00:02:56,926 --> 00:02:58,325
That was so wet, man.
48
00:02:58,326 --> 00:03:01,806
Right, I'm taking the van, helping
Billy move. All right, see ya.
49
00:03:03,646 --> 00:03:05,765
Billy, hang on.
Where are you off to?
50
00:03:05,766 --> 00:03:06,846
What are you doing?
51
00:03:06,847 --> 00:03:10,005
Billy's got a new flat above the bar
- it goes with the chef's job.
52
00:03:10,006 --> 00:03:11,246
Billy's a chef?
53
00:03:11,247 --> 00:03:15,086
Oh, yeah, I guess he must be.
Laters!
54
00:03:16,606 --> 00:03:18,606
Goodbye, Billy.
55
00:03:19,886 --> 00:03:22,765
You truly are descended
from kings and poets!
56
00:03:22,766 --> 00:03:24,086
Ha-ha!
57
00:03:26,046 --> 00:03:27,486
Too much?
58
00:03:28,846 --> 00:03:30,405
Was he crying a bit?
59
00:03:30,406 --> 00:03:33,965
What can I say? I leave an
impression. Yeah, a big girl's one.
60
00:03:33,966 --> 00:03:36,285
So are you actually a chef? Yes.
61
00:03:36,286 --> 00:03:39,765
Like a qualified one?
Yes, I passed exams and everything.
62
00:03:39,766 --> 00:03:41,845
What, so you could, like,
cook a steak?
63
00:03:41,846 --> 00:03:43,925
Yes!
64
00:03:43,926 --> 00:03:46,325
Right, the operation
depends on you two.
65
00:03:46,326 --> 00:03:47,725
You know what to do?
66
00:03:47,726 --> 00:03:50,965
Emotionally blackmail Inca
into coming to our barbecue.
67
00:03:50,966 --> 00:03:53,446
And if she refuses to come,
we bring out the big guns.
68
00:03:59,406 --> 00:04:03,245
Girls, don't be afeared, it is
Inca, in Green Coffee body wrap.
69
00:04:03,246 --> 00:04:05,445
You look like a sea monster.
70
00:04:05,446 --> 00:04:07,885
Can you come to ours
for a barbecue today?
71
00:04:07,886 --> 00:04:10,165
I am thinking no.
I am being vegetarian.
72
00:04:10,166 --> 00:04:12,285
Please.
73
00:04:12,286 --> 00:04:14,765
Oh, girls, don't do the sad frowns.
74
00:04:14,766 --> 00:04:17,885
Your face is a map of your life.
75
00:04:17,886 --> 00:04:21,365
Look at your mother's face,
what a journey!
76
00:04:21,366 --> 00:04:25,126
Will Yason be being there?
No. Yes.
77
00:04:29,846 --> 00:04:32,805
Ah, they miss you so much.
78
00:04:32,806 --> 00:04:36,725
Of course they do,
I am like mother to them.
79
00:04:36,726 --> 00:04:39,966
It's OK, little ones,
of course Inca will come.
80
00:04:45,806 --> 00:04:48,125
I don't know why Gemma
asked you to do this.
81
00:04:48,126 --> 00:04:49,965
I mean, anyone can defrost meat.
82
00:04:49,966 --> 00:04:51,645
This is fresh.
83
00:04:51,646 --> 00:04:53,925
Anyway, I am only too happy
to be involved.
84
00:04:53,926 --> 00:04:56,565
I've got some hickory smoked
barbecue wood chippings,
85
00:04:56,566 --> 00:04:59,046
which should help infuse
the food as it cooks.
86
00:05:00,646 --> 00:05:05,085
You know, it's the cooking of
the food that really matters, not the, er, the preparation.
87
00:05:05,086 --> 00:05:07,605
Oh, wow!
88
00:05:07,606 --> 00:05:10,645
Oh, yes, she's quite something,
isn't she?
89
00:05:10,646 --> 00:05:14,565
Spanish leather. Only, I think
she's fitted to my hips.
90
00:05:14,566 --> 00:05:15,806
I'm proposing to Inca.
91
00:05:15,807 --> 00:05:19,926
I could hide the ring in one
of these little pouches. That's wonderful news.
92
00:05:21,246 --> 00:05:23,965
I proposed to Selina in Montana.
93
00:05:23,966 --> 00:05:26,765
We were on an authentic
cattle ranch vacation.
94
00:05:26,766 --> 00:05:30,125
Oh, she was on a high, having
just lassoed a frisky bullock.
95
00:05:30,126 --> 00:05:32,205
Have you, have you heard from her,
96
00:05:32,206 --> 00:05:34,685
since we made the
drunken booty message call?
97
00:05:34,686 --> 00:05:39,245
I don't think she liked it when
I said that her bum looked big in a certain light.
98
00:05:39,246 --> 00:05:41,925
Jason,
99
00:05:41,926 --> 00:05:44,365
I'm having doubts about Gemma.
100
00:05:44,366 --> 00:05:46,085
Is it her elbows?
101
00:05:46,086 --> 00:05:48,645
Because they used to really
creep me out. What? No.
102
00:05:48,646 --> 00:05:52,565
Is it because she looks like an
angry squirrel when she sleeps? We haven't got that far. Oh.
103
00:05:52,566 --> 00:05:56,805
No, it's just that I'm not sure
I'm fully over Selina and it's not fair on Gemma to...
104
00:05:56,806 --> 00:06:01,685
Mini-break! What?
Take Gemma on a mini-break. Spend some time together.
105
00:06:01,686 --> 00:06:04,965
I wasn't sure about Inca until
we cruised the Norfolk Broads
106
00:06:04,966 --> 00:06:06,806
and I saw her in a bikini.
107
00:06:08,046 --> 00:06:10,006
Nothing wrong with her elbows.
108
00:06:11,747 --> 00:06:17,821
Advertise your product or brand here
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109
00:06:19,286 --> 00:06:21,765
Wow! Why are you all in costume?
110
00:06:21,766 --> 00:06:25,205
Flynn said it was fancy dress.
Oh, well it's not.
111
00:06:25,206 --> 00:06:28,805
Flynn! All right, mate?
Where's your magic carpet?
112
00:06:28,806 --> 00:06:31,245
Left it at home? Sensible move.
113
00:06:31,246 --> 00:06:33,645
Wouldn't want to drink and fly!
114
00:06:33,646 --> 00:06:35,365
I don't drink.
115
00:06:35,366 --> 00:06:39,005
Nice threads by the way.
You're the bouncer, right?
116
00:06:39,006 --> 00:06:43,006
A lot of people say I've
got the build to do that.
117
00:06:46,166 --> 00:06:49,125
Let me give you a hand
with the, er...
118
00:06:49,126 --> 00:06:51,005
Thank you.
119
00:06:51,006 --> 00:06:53,645
Ooh, it's not light ale, is it?
Here we go.
120
00:06:53,646 --> 00:06:56,085
You've got time to go home
and change, you know.
121
00:06:56,086 --> 00:06:59,005
Why?
I've got the body to rock this look.
122
00:06:59,006 --> 00:07:01,365
Not if you eat all that,
you haven't.
123
00:07:01,366 --> 00:07:03,606
I'm going to dip the
strawberries in the chocolate.
124
00:07:03,607 --> 00:07:05,645
I dipped a bit of Nero
in chocolate last night.
125
00:07:05,646 --> 00:07:07,565
Used him like a human fondue.
126
00:07:07,566 --> 00:07:09,205
You're insatiable.
127
00:07:09,206 --> 00:07:12,565
Says she with two men on the go.
I haven't got two men on the go.
128
00:07:12,566 --> 00:07:14,285
Er, Tom and Billy.
129
00:07:14,286 --> 00:07:16,285
Two men on the go.
130
00:07:16,286 --> 00:07:20,606
Oh, God!
I have got two men on the go.
131
00:07:22,726 --> 00:07:24,365
Ah, all moved, are we?
132
00:07:24,366 --> 00:07:27,725
Yep. Just popped back to give
you these and say thank you.
133
00:07:27,726 --> 00:07:29,645
Oh.
134
00:07:29,646 --> 00:07:31,805
Oh, I say.
135
00:07:31,806 --> 00:07:35,086
That is a blockbuster
of a wine, thanks.
136
00:07:36,526 --> 00:07:38,885
You know, I'm going to
miss our man moments.
137
00:07:38,886 --> 00:07:42,445
Well, you know where I'll be,
and your first meal is on the house.
138
00:07:42,446 --> 00:07:45,845
To think all this time I've had
a professional chef under my roof.
139
00:07:45,846 --> 00:07:49,925
If I'd known, we could have
spent our evenings devouring Rick Stein and Nigel Slater.
140
00:07:49,926 --> 00:07:52,685
Oh, well,
I'm sorry to have missed that.
141
00:07:52,686 --> 00:07:56,765
I'm just booking a mini-break
for Gemma and I.
142
00:07:56,766 --> 00:07:59,725
I'm going to surprise her. Wow.
143
00:07:59,726 --> 00:08:02,645
A yurt in the Lake District.
A yurt?
144
00:08:02,646 --> 00:08:05,685
A portable bent wood frame
dwelling structure,
145
00:08:05,686 --> 00:08:08,485
traditionally inhabited
by Turkic nomads.
146
00:08:08,486 --> 00:08:10,606
So, like a big tent.
147
00:08:11,686 --> 00:08:14,045
You don't think it'll scare her off?
148
00:08:14,046 --> 00:08:17,285
She is easily scared off,
you know, skittish.
149
00:08:17,286 --> 00:08:18,605
What do you think?
150
00:08:18,606 --> 00:08:23,565
I think... if you truly like her
and she truly likes you,
151
00:08:23,566 --> 00:08:25,686
it doesn't matter where you are.
152
00:08:27,046 --> 00:08:28,766
A yurt it is.
153
00:08:31,766 --> 00:08:33,645
Beer?
154
00:08:33,646 --> 00:08:34,765
Lemonade.
155
00:08:34,766 --> 00:08:36,766
Your wish is my command, O Master.
156
00:08:39,726 --> 00:08:44,205
Ooh, I bet you must feel like a
right plonker dressed like that!
157
00:08:44,206 --> 00:08:46,045
No.
158
00:08:46,046 --> 00:08:49,326
So, are you going to
let me rub your lamp?
159
00:08:52,526 --> 00:08:55,406
Sorry, that didn't
quite sound right.
160
00:08:58,486 --> 00:09:03,165
Right. Well, that barbecue
isn't going to light itself.
161
00:09:03,166 --> 00:09:07,165
Do not fear, Alfie is here!
Right, I'll light it for you.
162
00:09:07,166 --> 00:09:10,086
Back off, I'm in charge
of making fire. All right.
163
00:09:11,286 --> 00:09:14,525
Good. All the equipment here,
just need the, um...
164
00:09:14,526 --> 00:09:19,125
Oh! Ha-ha! Stand and deliver!
Your sausage or your life!
165
00:09:19,126 --> 00:09:21,085
Yeah, yeah.
166
00:09:21,086 --> 00:09:23,205
You know, I do it old school, Nemo.
167
00:09:23,206 --> 00:09:27,805
Nero. I don't hold with these gas
barbecues, Nemo. They're for girls.
168
00:09:27,806 --> 00:09:30,046
Right. Lucky mitt.
169
00:09:32,086 --> 00:09:37,725
OK, stand back, guys,
we don't want any singed moustaches,
170
00:09:37,726 --> 00:09:40,725
do we, Fran?
171
00:09:40,726 --> 00:09:45,845
Did you see what I just did then,
about the moustache thing?
172
00:09:45,846 --> 00:09:47,726
Implying that Fran's got a...
173
00:09:49,486 --> 00:09:51,645
Sorry, I didn't mean to...
174
00:09:51,646 --> 00:09:54,165
Oh! Oh! Argh! Oh!
175
00:09:54,166 --> 00:09:56,246
These are my favourite Chinos!
176
00:09:59,446 --> 00:10:01,686
Oh, bloody hells bells!
177
00:10:02,926 --> 00:10:06,405
Hello? The latch was on the snib.
178
00:10:06,406 --> 00:10:07,805
Oh, Tom, Poppy,
179
00:10:07,806 --> 00:10:09,245
Billy.
180
00:10:09,246 --> 00:10:12,045
Lovely to see you... all.
181
00:10:12,046 --> 00:10:14,285
You have chocolate
all over your face.
182
00:10:14,286 --> 00:10:17,245
And all over your kitchen.
Yes, I like to get mucky.
183
00:10:17,246 --> 00:10:20,645
A tidy house indicates a tidy mind.
So your mind must be very mucky.
184
00:10:20,646 --> 00:10:23,605
Poppy's studying Freud.
The father of psychoanalysis.
185
00:10:23,606 --> 00:10:26,805
Oh, clever old Poppy.
I also understand sarcasm.
186
00:10:26,806 --> 00:10:29,205
Right, I'll head out
and find your daughters.
187
00:10:29,206 --> 00:10:32,006
Come on, Billy. Oh. Bye.
188
00:10:33,326 --> 00:10:37,045
Nice lad, very mature,
beyond his years, wouldn't you say?
189
00:10:37,046 --> 00:10:40,805
Yes, Tom, I'm glad I've
got you alone for a moment.
190
00:10:40,806 --> 00:10:44,885
I just wanted to say about the,
um, our... Well, you and me,
191
00:10:44,886 --> 00:10:46,285
er, whatever it is.
192
00:10:46,286 --> 00:10:50,485
It's just that, I'm not sure that
whatever it is, is, is working.
193
00:10:50,486 --> 00:10:52,085
Yurt! What?
194
00:10:52,086 --> 00:10:55,365
Yurt. It's a portable bent wood
framed dwelling structure.
195
00:10:55,366 --> 00:10:58,965
Yes, I know what it is,
I just wondered why you shouted it.
196
00:10:58,966 --> 00:11:02,725
You and me in a yurt,
in the Lake District.
197
00:11:02,726 --> 00:11:06,405
It's five star. Oh, right.
Well, that sounds lovely, but um...
198
00:11:06,406 --> 00:11:08,965
I-I know you think we're
better off as friends
199
00:11:08,966 --> 00:11:12,765
and, to be honest, Gemma,
I'm having doubts, too.
200
00:11:12,766 --> 00:11:17,525
Oh, right. Look, I'm the kind
of man who brings hygienic gloves to a barbecue to handle raw meat,
201
00:11:17,526 --> 00:11:22,485
and you're a woman who I doubt
bleached the surface before buttering those rolls.
202
00:11:22,486 --> 00:11:25,365
Well, no...
But maybe there is something,
203
00:11:25,366 --> 00:11:31,805
and perhaps if we got away from all
the distractions of kids and exes,
204
00:11:31,806 --> 00:11:33,325
and unsterilised surfaces.
205
00:11:33,326 --> 00:11:35,925
Yeah, I'm not...
I know what you're going to say.
206
00:11:35,926 --> 00:11:42,286
Jason's already agreed to have the
twins. Yeah, that's not actually what I was going... It's booked.
207
00:11:44,806 --> 00:11:47,486
It's up to you
if you want to join me.
208
00:11:49,166 --> 00:11:51,165
No pressure.
209
00:11:51,166 --> 00:11:52,926
Just think about it.
210
00:11:55,446 --> 00:11:57,045
Great.
211
00:11:57,046 --> 00:11:58,806
Let me at that barbecue!
212
00:12:07,486 --> 00:12:09,326
Five minutes and you're off.
213
00:12:16,446 --> 00:12:17,845
Yurt.
214
00:12:17,846 --> 00:12:20,205
Sorry? Yeah, that's what I said.
215
00:12:20,206 --> 00:12:22,765
Tom's asked me to go away with him,
216
00:12:22,766 --> 00:12:24,885
to a five-star yurt
in the Lake District.
217
00:12:24,886 --> 00:12:27,126
Blimey! Posh. Horny old Tom.
218
00:12:29,326 --> 00:12:30,565
Wow, hot tub!
219
00:12:30,566 --> 00:12:34,685
I was trying to end it with him.
Don't end it! There are spa treatments.
220
00:12:34,686 --> 00:12:37,565
Billy's hardly going to whisk
you off to a five star...
221
00:12:37,566 --> 00:12:40,205
Oh, God! There's a butler!
222
00:12:40,206 --> 00:12:45,085
You're not the sort of woman to
have an affair with a younger man.
223
00:12:45,086 --> 00:12:47,245
I am! I can be wild.
224
00:12:47,246 --> 00:12:50,005
Really? Yeah, I can be dangerous.
225
00:12:50,006 --> 00:12:52,446
I've kissed a woman.
Please! We've all done that.
226
00:12:52,447 --> 00:12:55,966
Now if you'd made LOVE to a woman...
227
00:12:58,806 --> 00:13:00,646
You've...?
228
00:13:04,406 --> 00:13:05,925
All right, Billy? All right?
229
00:13:05,926 --> 00:13:08,005
Alfie's going for a record.
230
00:13:08,006 --> 00:13:10,005
Is he in with a chance?
231
00:13:10,006 --> 00:13:12,365
49, 48, 47...
232
00:13:12,366 --> 00:13:18,205
Guinness World Record for continuous
bouncing on a trampoline was 53 days of jumping between six people.
233
00:13:18,206 --> 00:13:19,966
So, no, then.
234
00:13:24,566 --> 00:13:29,245
Hey, er, do you grant wishes?
Because I could do with one.
235
00:13:29,246 --> 00:13:33,006
I don't think you need wishes to make
your dreams come true. I think I do.
236
00:13:34,726 --> 00:13:40,605
There are three wishes a genie, or
a jinn, as it was known in Arabian and Muslim mythology, cannot grant...
237
00:13:40,606 --> 00:13:43,605
bringing someone back to life,
238
00:13:43,606 --> 00:13:45,205
making someone die,
239
00:13:45,206 --> 00:13:47,805
or making someone
fall in love with you.
240
00:13:47,806 --> 00:13:50,966
Wow! You've done
your character research.
241
00:13:51,966 --> 00:13:54,006
Aladdin is a very good film.
242
00:13:59,446 --> 00:14:01,685
It's a shame about
the wish thing, though.
243
00:14:01,686 --> 00:14:04,685
Would you really want to make
someone fall in love with you?
244
00:14:04,686 --> 00:14:08,126
Isn't it better to have them
fall in love of their own accord?
245
00:14:10,406 --> 00:14:13,205
You, sir, are a very wise man.
246
00:14:13,206 --> 00:14:14,806
I am.
247
00:14:16,326 --> 00:14:19,726
But I do also happen to be
going out with Gemma's best friend.
248
00:14:28,606 --> 00:14:30,645
Here, allow me. No, it's all right,
249
00:14:30,646 --> 00:14:32,966
the coals were damp,
I've got fresh now.
250
00:14:41,526 --> 00:14:43,045
Well, that'll never work.
251
00:14:43,046 --> 00:14:46,446
These two haven't let me down yet.
They could set fire to an igloo.
252
00:15:02,646 --> 00:15:04,046
Fluke.
253
00:15:17,446 --> 00:15:19,085
I'm a wild woman, aren't I?
254
00:15:19,086 --> 00:15:22,885
You look pretty crazy, sat there
with a plate of sausages.
255
00:15:22,886 --> 00:15:26,845
Tom tells me he's taking you away
- that sounds kind of wild.
256
00:15:26,846 --> 00:15:30,045
W-Well, yes, um, a yurt.
257
00:15:30,046 --> 00:15:32,285
Five-star camping.
258
00:15:32,286 --> 00:15:34,845
Not sure if I can compete with that,
259
00:15:34,846 --> 00:15:39,925
although I do have vouchers for
a buy one get one free meal at the local pizza place.
260
00:15:39,926 --> 00:15:43,806
Or we could dine at
27A the High Street.
261
00:15:44,886 --> 00:15:46,645
That's my flat.
262
00:15:46,646 --> 00:15:49,805
Well, it has a roof garden
and a chair. Just the one?
263
00:15:49,806 --> 00:15:51,806
Well, I'm saving
up for the whole set.
264
00:15:53,886 --> 00:15:56,645
We could have a picnic
amongst the chimney pots.
265
00:15:56,646 --> 00:15:59,845
Oh, I don't really do picnics
since I got stung on the, er...
266
00:15:59,846 --> 00:16:01,166
Well, never mind.
267
00:16:02,886 --> 00:16:04,526
Bottle of cava,
268
00:16:06,086 --> 00:16:07,645
some cheese and onion crisps,
269
00:16:07,646 --> 00:16:10,686
and the romantic sounds of the
142 night bus going past.
270
00:16:12,366 --> 00:16:13,805
Gemma!
271
00:16:13,806 --> 00:16:15,206
Gem... Oh!
272
00:16:16,366 --> 00:16:19,005
Jason's on fire.
273
00:16:19,006 --> 00:16:20,845
What?! Fear not, Jason!
274
00:16:20,846 --> 00:16:23,525
Argh! Argh! Fire, fire!
275
00:16:23,526 --> 00:16:24,885
No, no!
276
00:16:24,886 --> 00:16:26,125
OK...
277
00:16:26,126 --> 00:16:28,125
I'm on fire! Put me out!
278
00:16:28,126 --> 00:16:29,926
Jason, I'm coming.
279
00:16:38,526 --> 00:16:39,605
Lame!
280
00:16:39,606 --> 00:16:43,326
Everything's OK, I'm fine.
281
00:16:44,526 --> 00:16:46,326
The ring's fine.
282
00:16:48,286 --> 00:16:51,205
The Spanish leather got a bit
singed. I'm sorry, mate. Oh!
283
00:16:51,206 --> 00:16:55,245
Jason, for goodness sake!
Lit the barbecue, though, didn't I? Well, technically I...
284
00:16:55,246 --> 00:16:58,686
It's all right, girls, it's all
right. Oh, it's all right, girls. Ha!
285
00:17:00,646 --> 00:17:03,925
Dad! Just a minute, love,
I want to get the burgers on.
286
00:17:03,926 --> 00:17:06,365
No, Dad, she's here.
In a minute, love.
287
00:17:06,366 --> 00:17:09,766
But, Dad, she's here.
288
00:17:41,726 --> 00:17:42,925
Press play.
289
00:17:42,926 --> 00:17:44,686
Oh, yeah.
290
00:17:48,366 --> 00:17:53,166
? She's like the wind
through my trees... ?
291
00:17:56,006 --> 00:17:59,445
Inca Dolph Adolf son,
when I experience your love,
292
00:17:59,446 --> 00:18:01,685
I am speechless.
293
00:18:01,686 --> 00:18:03,085
Yason, I...
294
00:18:03,086 --> 00:18:06,766
No, no, no! Please wait,
I haven't finished.
295
00:18:10,326 --> 00:18:11,806
Ater du gris med mig?
296
00:18:13,406 --> 00:18:16,085
What?! Will I eat pig with you?!
297
00:18:16,086 --> 00:18:17,886
Alfie!
298
00:18:20,006 --> 00:18:23,205
Inca, I am your unicorn.
299
00:18:23,206 --> 00:18:26,205
Grip firmly to my sturdy horn
300
00:18:26,206 --> 00:18:29,445
and I will take you on
such a magical journey.
301
00:18:29,446 --> 00:18:32,926
Let's picnic amongst the stars.
302
00:18:34,646 --> 00:18:36,686
Marry me.
303
00:18:40,966 --> 00:18:43,726
Yes, Jason. I will.
304
00:18:49,486 --> 00:18:51,446
Phew.
305
00:18:55,166 --> 00:18:56,606
Woo-woo!
306
00:19:09,766 --> 00:19:11,725
Right, that's awkward. Let's eat.
307
00:19:11,726 --> 00:19:13,965
Yeah.
308
00:19:13,966 --> 00:19:15,966
Oh, I'm starving.
309
00:19:23,286 --> 00:19:27,965
Sorry to murder the moment but,
er, I'm here to collect Poppy.
310
00:19:27,966 --> 00:19:30,326
Mummy! Hello, darling.
311
00:19:31,526 --> 00:19:35,085
Now go and get your bags.
Imran's double-parked the Lexus.
312
00:19:35,086 --> 00:19:37,125
Tom,
313
00:19:37,126 --> 00:19:39,206
a word.
314
00:19:45,286 --> 00:19:48,166
300, 301...
315
00:19:50,126 --> 00:19:54,565
So, I got your voice-mail -
very Al Pacino.
316
00:19:54,566 --> 00:19:57,965
"Shut it, sweet cheeks,
your bum does look big in jeans?"
317
00:19:57,966 --> 00:19:59,326
I mean...
318
00:20:01,406 --> 00:20:02,565
Does it?
319
00:20:02,566 --> 00:20:04,646
I-I-I'm over you.
320
00:20:06,286 --> 00:20:09,206
You want to kiss me
right now, don't you? No.
321
00:20:10,606 --> 00:20:14,045
I-I'm taking Gemma
to the Lake District.
322
00:20:14,046 --> 00:20:17,165
Don't tell me, a yurt.
323
00:20:17,166 --> 00:20:19,845
You're so predictable, Tom.
324
00:20:19,846 --> 00:20:23,845
Ah, there you are,
Tom, Tom, Tom, Tom.
325
00:20:23,846 --> 00:20:26,805
You, you'd better
back off, tall lady.
326
00:20:26,806 --> 00:20:29,085
I know your game.
Well, you can't have him back.
327
00:20:29,086 --> 00:20:31,886
He's mine now,
every solid inch of him.
328
00:20:33,526 --> 00:20:37,685
A bit of super-friendly advice,
Jenna... Oh, it's Gemma.
329
00:20:37,686 --> 00:20:39,085
Oh. Oh, is it?
330
00:20:39,086 --> 00:20:44,045
This isn't just any old camping,
it's glamp yurting.
331
00:20:44,046 --> 00:20:46,925
The clientele ooze glamour.
332
00:20:46,926 --> 00:20:50,125
You might want to treat yourself
to a new... wardrobe.
333
00:20:50,126 --> 00:20:55,765
Yeah, well, you might want to treat
yourself to some... new things, too.
334
00:20:55,766 --> 00:20:59,645
I would much rather take someone
with a warm heart who's a bit on the scruffy side,
335
00:20:59,646 --> 00:21:02,486
than a wooden-hearted
designer clothes horse.
336
00:21:03,926 --> 00:21:06,605
Well, you have your wish,
then, don't you?
337
00:21:06,606 --> 00:21:10,166
Yes, he does have his wish, thank
you, and I have mine, too. Aw.
338
00:21:11,686 --> 00:21:13,085
Poppy!
339
00:21:13,086 --> 00:21:14,246
Tom.
340
00:21:16,846 --> 00:21:20,645
Jenna. It's Gemma. Gemma.
Gemma, Gemma.
341
00:21:20,646 --> 00:21:23,205
Wow, she is... Impressive.
342
00:21:23,206 --> 00:21:25,366
I was going to say horrible.
343
00:21:27,046 --> 00:21:30,365
Gemma, thank you for
saying those things.
344
00:21:30,366 --> 00:21:33,926
I know you didn't really
mean it in that way, but...
345
00:21:35,406 --> 00:21:36,645
thanks.
346
00:21:36,646 --> 00:21:40,646
Thanks for being a... a friend.
347
00:21:44,566 --> 00:21:47,286
So, you can come away with me, then?
348
00:21:51,806 --> 00:21:54,126
303, 304...
349
00:21:57,726 --> 00:22:00,045
Hey, is your mum around?
350
00:22:00,046 --> 00:22:02,965
Don't know, she's probably laying
down. She's, er, quite old.
351
00:22:02,966 --> 00:22:05,606
Right! Thanks. Won't be a minute.
352
00:22:18,126 --> 00:22:20,526
Feeling a bit tired, are we?
353
00:22:28,726 --> 00:22:31,205
Just thought I'd catch
five minutes' peace.
354
00:22:31,206 --> 00:22:33,485
You weren't hiding from me,
then, no?
355
00:22:33,486 --> 00:22:35,286
No!
356
00:22:36,606 --> 00:22:39,885
Well, maybe a little bit.
357
00:22:39,886 --> 00:22:42,045
So, what's it to be, Mrs Jones?
358
00:22:42,046 --> 00:22:45,845
A yurt or a picnic under the stars?
359
00:22:45,846 --> 00:22:49,165
And I'll see if I can find a
sausage roll and a second chair.
360
00:22:49,166 --> 00:22:50,766
Mum?
361
00:22:51,966 --> 00:22:53,965
Oh! Quick!
362
00:22:53,966 --> 00:22:55,365
Ssh.
363
00:22:55,366 --> 00:22:58,045
What are you doing?
Mum, can we get the ice cream out?
364
00:22:58,046 --> 00:22:59,926
She's not up here.
365
00:23:04,246 --> 00:23:05,965
They're gone.
366
00:23:05,966 --> 00:23:08,365
What am I doing,
hiding from my family?
367
00:23:08,366 --> 00:23:10,646
Then let's stop hiding from them.
368
00:23:11,646 --> 00:23:13,726
Why do you even want me?
369
00:23:15,766 --> 00:23:20,366
I think it's because...
you remind me of my mother.
370
00:23:27,566 --> 00:23:29,325
I can't.
371
00:23:29,326 --> 00:23:31,645
And don't get me wrong,
I like a sausage roll.
372
00:23:31,646 --> 00:23:33,645
I mean, I really like a sausage roll,
373
00:23:33,646 --> 00:23:36,965
but it gives me terrible indigestion
and... Do scotch eggs?
374
00:23:36,966 --> 00:23:40,166
I can make them.
Hmm, impressive.
375
00:23:42,646 --> 00:23:45,805
But I can't.
It'll upset too many people.
376
00:23:45,806 --> 00:23:48,366
Well, I can make them
scotch eggs some other time.
377
00:23:50,686 --> 00:23:53,485
I'm just not that sort of woman.
378
00:23:53,486 --> 00:23:56,126
I don't want that sort of woman.
379
00:23:58,606 --> 00:24:00,366
I want you.
380
00:24:03,486 --> 00:24:05,566
And I want everyone to know it.
381
00:24:09,286 --> 00:24:12,765
So I'll be... waiting,
382
00:24:12,766 --> 00:24:16,646
on my blanket, with my scotch eggs.
383
00:24:22,046 --> 00:24:25,605
Right, I'm going to need to
get out from under this quilt,
384
00:24:25,606 --> 00:24:29,646
because I'm either going to
pass out or... kiss you.
385
00:25:02,006 --> 00:25:04,046
Starlit picnic. Yurt.
386
00:25:05,926 --> 00:25:07,406
Scotch eggs.
387
00:25:09,966 --> 00:25:11,405
"Organic beef Wellington
388
00:25:11,406 --> 00:25:14,765
"with a selection of locally sourced
vegetables." Oh, nice.
389
00:25:14,766 --> 00:25:16,325
Gemma!? Gemma!
390
00:25:16,326 --> 00:25:19,325
Alfred's arm is suspected snapped!
What?!
391
00:25:19,326 --> 00:25:21,686
Tom's carried him out to
the knob-mobile. Oh, God!
392
00:25:21,687 --> 00:25:24,766
Tom is super-strong, like the Hunk.
The Hulk.
393
00:25:26,446 --> 00:25:30,086
I hope he will be free of
the cast for the wedding!
394
00:26:03,446 --> 00:26:06,125
How's the wounded soldier?
395
00:26:06,126 --> 00:26:09,205
Yeah, they're putting his cast on.
He'll be out in a minute.
396
00:26:09,206 --> 00:26:11,605
Oh, good. Then you'd
better get going. What?
397
00:26:11,606 --> 00:26:14,005
The, er, mini-break with Tom.
398
00:26:14,006 --> 00:26:15,885
No, I can't! Alfie is...
399
00:26:15,886 --> 00:26:18,005
Alfie's 23, we'll take him home.
400
00:26:18,006 --> 00:26:20,725
No, I can't! I'm, I'm...
A chicken? What?
401
00:26:20,726 --> 00:26:22,485
You, a big clucking chicken.
402
00:26:22,486 --> 00:26:23,806
No, I'm not, it's just...
403
00:26:23,807 --> 00:26:26,525
Look, I've packed your wellies
and some choice outfits.
404
00:26:26,526 --> 00:26:30,166
I thought you were wild. I-I...
Wild or mild?
405
00:26:31,566 --> 00:26:34,125
Er, mildly wild?
I've packed protection.
406
00:26:34,126 --> 00:26:36,205
Oh, I don't think it's going to rain,
I... Oh.
407
00:26:36,206 --> 00:26:37,885
Oh, oh, oh.
408
00:26:37,886 --> 00:26:41,205
Not that sort. OK, um, oh, God!
I'm not, no...
409
00:26:41,206 --> 00:26:44,885
Get out of here! Go! Faster.
410
00:26:44,886 --> 00:26:49,966
Oh, run a bit, for God's sake!
Go bed that man, you wild woman!
411
00:26:52,326 --> 00:26:55,246
PMT - poncho, money, tickets.
412
00:27:00,126 --> 00:27:02,046
'Hi, this is Tom and Poppy's phone.
413
00:27:02,047 --> 00:27:05,005
'You know how to do this.
After the beep, leave a message.'
414
00:27:05,006 --> 00:27:08,726
'Tom, it's Selina.
I wanted to talk to you.'
415
00:27:39,606 --> 00:27:41,405
OK, so this is it.
416
00:27:41,406 --> 00:27:45,205
Throwing caution to the wind,
turning right for Tom and the yurt.
417
00:27:45,206 --> 00:27:47,645
This is what you want.
418
00:27:47,646 --> 00:27:49,886
Yeah, this is what you want, lady!
419
00:27:57,686 --> 00:27:59,286
My heart says Billy.
420
00:28:00,446 --> 00:28:02,806
I should follow my heart, go left.
421
00:28:07,286 --> 00:28:09,446
Our heart knows what it wants.
422
00:28:10,926 --> 00:28:13,006
I do like a scotch egg, I do.
423
00:28:15,566 --> 00:28:17,326
Apparently I don't.
424
00:28:18,766 --> 00:28:20,046
Oh!
425
00:28:24,526 --> 00:28:27,966
Oh, yes, all right! I'm making
an important decision here!
426
00:28:31,126 --> 00:28:32,406
Head?
427
00:28:33,646 --> 00:28:35,166
Heart?
428
00:28:42,886 --> 00:28:44,246
Head.
429
00:28:46,286 --> 00:28:47,486
Heart.
430
00:28:47,536 --> 00:28:52,086
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