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1
00:00:30,900 --> 00:00:37,019
Chloe Bryant says her dad hasn't
brushed his teeth since 1997.
2
00:00:37,020 --> 00:00:40,379
That's disgusting! He's a hippy!
That's one word for him!
3
00:00:40,380 --> 00:00:42,659
Can I be a hippy, Mum? No. Brush!
4
00:00:42,660 --> 00:00:44,380
I've finished. Look!
5
00:00:46,020 --> 00:00:50,419
Oh, wow! It looks lovely.
It's taken years off me!
6
00:00:50,420 --> 00:00:53,740
About 35 years, to be exact!
Right, come along, you two.
7
00:00:55,260 --> 00:01:01,334
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
8
00:01:09,020 --> 00:01:10,179
Oh!
9
00:01:10,180 --> 00:01:11,820
Dude!
10
00:01:14,620 --> 00:01:19,300
? Can't explain all the feelings
that you're making me feel ?
11
00:01:30,140 --> 00:01:31,500
? Oo-oo-ooh
12
00:01:41,766 --> 00:01:45,405
Oh, my God! Did I sleep through
a rave or something?
13
00:01:45,406 --> 00:01:46,605
Alfie!
14
00:01:46,606 --> 00:01:49,765
Have you even been to bed?
A soldier never sleeps, Mother.
15
00:01:49,766 --> 00:01:52,485
I'm trying to kill
the Dark Destroyer.
16
00:01:52,486 --> 00:01:55,526
It's a German nerd. He's been trying
to annihilate her for 36 hours!
17
00:01:56,406 --> 00:01:59,365
Alfie! How did these get here?
18
00:01:59,366 --> 00:02:01,165
Sorry. They're mine.
19
00:02:01,166 --> 00:02:02,686
Oh.
20
00:02:03,486 --> 00:02:06,285
Right. Can you tidy up now, boys,
please?
21
00:02:06,286 --> 00:02:08,605
Why? "Why"?
22
00:02:08,606 --> 00:02:11,405
Because this is my home,
not a squat!
23
00:02:11,406 --> 00:02:12,805
Sorry.
24
00:02:12,806 --> 00:02:15,885
Alfie! Move it, now. OK.
25
00:02:15,886 --> 00:02:18,686
OK. Oh, a result! Pepperoni!
26
00:02:19,606 --> 00:02:21,364
I'll just go help her, then,
shall I?
27
00:02:21,365 --> 00:02:23,206
Cheers, mate. She can be
a bit stressy.
28
00:02:30,566 --> 00:02:33,566
Up yours, Granddad!
29
00:02:42,566 --> 00:02:45,165
Shouldn't you recycle those?
30
00:02:45,166 --> 00:02:46,846
Yes, probably.
31
00:02:49,246 --> 00:02:50,806
Do you think maybe...
32
00:02:52,046 --> 00:02:54,045
we should at some point...
33
00:02:54,046 --> 00:02:55,885
discuss the kiss?
34
00:02:55,886 --> 00:02:59,725
Yes, probably. But at the moment I
feel like I'm being buried alive
35
00:02:59,726 --> 00:03:04,365
in people and sleeping bags
and forgotten homework,
36
00:03:04,366 --> 00:03:05,646
odd socks and pizza boxes.
37
00:03:05,647 --> 00:03:07,845
So I vote, if it's OK with you,
38
00:03:07,846 --> 00:03:11,486
that we, er, that we forget that
our... our... our...
39
00:03:12,486 --> 00:03:13,645
Kiss.
40
00:03:13,646 --> 00:03:15,405
Thank you... ever happened.
41
00:03:15,406 --> 00:03:18,845
That we bury it very deeply,
42
00:03:18,846 --> 00:03:20,445
throw a lot of earth over it,
43
00:03:20,446 --> 00:03:22,045
maybe lay down some concrete
44
00:03:22,046 --> 00:03:25,726
and possibly even erect
a conservatory over it.
45
00:03:26,286 --> 00:03:29,325
Like a serial killer would do.
46
00:03:29,326 --> 00:03:30,925
Yes.
47
00:03:30,926 --> 00:03:33,246
We bury our kiss.
48
00:03:36,006 --> 00:03:38,325
Alfie, start tidying up now.
49
00:03:38,326 --> 00:03:39,606
Excuse me.
50
00:03:43,806 --> 00:03:47,005
Alfie, I don't want to have to ask
you again! Turn that off!
51
00:03:47,006 --> 00:03:50,126
I will as soon as I've killed the
Dark Destroyer and her minions.
52
00:03:53,726 --> 00:03:55,765
Oi! There.
53
00:03:55,766 --> 00:03:58,445
I've killed her for you.
Now, get up, sort this out,
54
00:03:58,446 --> 00:04:01,605
and if you're planning on staying
around, you need to get a job.
55
00:04:01,606 --> 00:04:03,205
Ooh!
56
00:04:03,206 --> 00:04:04,805
Oh! Oh!
57
00:04:04,806 --> 00:04:07,206
Ding-dong! Knock-knock!
58
00:04:08,286 --> 00:04:10,125
What? I knocked, vocally.
59
00:04:10,126 --> 00:04:13,325
You should have waited! I could
be... Jesus, what happened to your hair?
60
00:04:13,326 --> 00:04:16,965
Jason, I'm not in the mood! Blimey,
what threw up and died in here?
61
00:04:16,966 --> 00:04:18,845
My son.
62
00:04:18,846 --> 00:04:21,805
He leaves a trail of destruction
wherever he goes. Like his mum!
63
00:04:21,806 --> 00:04:24,045
Ha-ha! Time to get down
to business.
64
00:04:24,046 --> 00:04:26,045
My Big Boy's exploded.
65
00:04:26,046 --> 00:04:29,885
Sounds painful. The Big Boy
is a foot-long premium sausage
66
00:04:29,886 --> 00:04:34,005
in a light pastry puff drizzled -
optional - with a baked bean jus.
67
00:04:34,006 --> 00:04:37,165
Just a big sausage roll, then? It's
time to expand the fleet, Gem Gem.
68
00:04:37,166 --> 00:04:40,885
I'm going to get another van!
Don't call me that. And this is my business, too,
69
00:04:40,886 --> 00:04:44,605
so I'll check over the accounts and
see if we can afford a new van.
70
00:04:44,606 --> 00:04:48,365
Give Alfie a job! No, no way!
The boy's a walking disaster!
71
00:04:48,366 --> 00:04:51,805
You'll need somebody
to drive the new van. No. Anyway,
72
00:04:51,806 --> 00:04:53,525
I was going to employ a woman.
73
00:04:53,526 --> 00:04:57,725
This is a family business, remember,
and Alfie is family. No Alfie,
74
00:04:57,726 --> 00:05:00,685
no new van. He wouldn't want to
work with me anyway. He will.
75
00:05:00,686 --> 00:05:03,405
Alfie, where are you going? To bed.
76
00:05:03,406 --> 00:05:05,485
It's been a long night, Mother.
My thumbs ache.
77
00:05:05,486 --> 00:05:07,646
Get your shoes on. You're working
with Jason today.
78
00:05:07,647 --> 00:05:11,045
Wh... No. No words or pulling
a sickie or making excuses.
79
00:05:11,046 --> 00:05:13,486
Shoes on, quick sticks,
then out to hunt and gather.
80
00:05:13,487 --> 00:05:16,245
No choice, mate. Your mum's gone all
Margaret Thatcher on us.
81
00:05:16,246 --> 00:05:18,645
Looks like the lady's not
for turning!
82
00:05:18,646 --> 00:05:21,325
What? It's what Margaret Thatcher
said.
83
00:05:21,326 --> 00:05:23,686
Jason, if you have to explain it,
it means it's not funny.
84
00:05:23,687 --> 00:05:26,285
Girls, time to go! Go on!
85
00:05:26,286 --> 00:05:27,845
Yes.
86
00:05:27,846 --> 00:05:30,286
Look, Dad, I've got pants
on my head. Yes, I know.
87
00:05:30,287 --> 00:05:32,885
The girls are going straight from
school to Chloe Bryant's.
88
00:05:32,886 --> 00:05:36,325
Is she the mono-browed one? Jason!
Yeah, she's the mono-browed one.
89
00:05:36,326 --> 00:05:38,445
Alfie, come on, mate.
I'm not your mate!
90
00:05:38,446 --> 00:05:41,725
Do I have to? Come on, you loved
doing the sandwich run when you were younger.
91
00:05:41,726 --> 00:05:46,125
You'd beg me to let Jason take you.
Now I'm begging you not to. Come on. Morning all!
92
00:05:46,126 --> 00:05:48,845
Oh, hello, Tom. What are you doing
here?
93
00:05:48,846 --> 00:05:52,245
Yeah, what are you doing here?
Just passing, you know.
94
00:05:52,246 --> 00:05:54,445
But you live over by the big Asda.
95
00:05:54,446 --> 00:05:57,205
Yes, but I jog all over the place.
You know how it is.
96
00:05:57,206 --> 00:06:00,165
No, I don't! Nice trackie, mate.
Thanks. I thought so.
97
00:06:00,166 --> 00:06:02,085
Pure polyester?
98
00:06:02,086 --> 00:06:03,406
Tom, would you like to come in?
99
00:06:03,407 --> 00:06:06,605
I wouldn't if I were you. It's
disgusting in there! No, it isn't.
100
00:06:06,606 --> 00:06:09,125
He's exaggerating. I'm not.
I think I saw a rat.
101
00:06:09,126 --> 00:06:11,566
Probably your own reflection.
Goodbye, Jason!
102
00:06:12,806 --> 00:06:14,725
That man's a proper pillock.
103
00:06:14,726 --> 00:06:17,485
I think he's the best guy
my mum's ever been with.
104
00:06:17,486 --> 00:06:20,805
I'll drive. I don't think so. This
is fully loaded with Big Boys.
105
00:06:20,806 --> 00:06:23,084
It needs a real man behind
the wheel. Do you know any?
106
00:06:23,085 --> 00:06:25,164
You'll have to go in the back
till I drop the girls.
107
00:06:25,165 --> 00:06:27,046
And keep your paws off the produce.
108
00:06:27,047 --> 00:06:29,206
I'll get travel sick back here!
109
00:06:29,886 --> 00:06:31,165
Hey, hey, hey!
110
00:06:31,166 --> 00:06:32,926
Stop eating the profits!
111
00:06:36,166 --> 00:06:39,885
One day, girls,
all this will be yours.
112
00:06:39,886 --> 00:06:42,525
Try and contain yourself, girls!
113
00:06:42,526 --> 00:06:44,926
I'm running a women's self-defence
class tonight.
114
00:06:44,927 --> 00:06:48,525
Off-shoot of my Taekwondo class.
Thought you might like to come?
115
00:06:48,526 --> 00:06:52,245
Well, that's very kind. It could be
our first activity date.
116
00:06:52,246 --> 00:06:54,885
Maybe we could grab a smoothie
after we've showered down.
117
00:06:54,886 --> 00:06:57,645
Well, in separate showers,
obviously!
118
00:06:57,646 --> 00:07:01,685
I'm not sure. I've got the books
to do, and the house is a tip,
119
00:07:01,686 --> 00:07:04,086
what with Alfie back and Billy
on the sofa, it's chaos.
120
00:07:04,087 --> 00:07:08,125
Hey, Billy could move in with me,
if it would help?
121
00:07:08,126 --> 00:07:10,285
What?! No!
122
00:07:10,286 --> 00:07:12,566
Sorry. No, I didn't mean that Billy
had to leave.
123
00:07:12,567 --> 00:07:15,645
I just... I've got a box room.
Wow, that's, um...
124
00:07:15,646 --> 00:07:20,805
Um... I'm not sure. I am being a bit
selfish here. Grown-up company would help.
125
00:07:20,806 --> 00:07:24,445
I know you can't get more grown up
than my Poppy,
126
00:07:24,446 --> 00:07:28,765
but there's only so much needlepoint
and reading aloud from the Diaries of Mao Tse Tung a man can take!
127
00:07:28,766 --> 00:07:30,445
Do you play Canasta?
128
00:07:30,446 --> 00:07:32,405
No. I mean, I can...
129
00:07:32,406 --> 00:07:34,846
That's very kind, Tom, but he's fine
here. Aren't you?
130
00:07:34,847 --> 00:07:37,965
Unless, of course, you want to...
No. I mean, here is good.
131
00:07:37,966 --> 00:07:43,125
Just a thought to help you out.
Here's my card. Call me if you want out of the mad house.
132
00:07:43,126 --> 00:07:45,605
Right. Well, I'm off to look for
a job.
133
00:07:45,606 --> 00:07:47,686
Oh. Happy hunting!
134
00:07:51,166 --> 00:07:53,405
Please come.
135
00:07:53,406 --> 00:07:55,005
Fran is. Is she?
136
00:07:55,006 --> 00:07:57,685
Oh. Well, er... OK.
137
00:07:57,686 --> 00:07:59,326
Great!
138
00:08:01,326 --> 00:08:03,726
You know, most people are attacked
by someone they know.
139
00:08:03,727 --> 00:08:06,765
I won't attack you, obviously,
140
00:08:06,766 --> 00:08:08,366
but someone else, you know, might.
141
00:08:32,206 --> 00:08:36,125
Move your arse! I'm not wearing
that poncey cap and apron!
142
00:08:36,126 --> 00:08:38,285
There's nothing poncey about it.
I designed it.
143
00:08:38,286 --> 00:08:40,646
It says, "Professional".
It says, "Idiot".
144
00:08:41,526 --> 00:08:42,966
Out now.
145
00:08:49,726 --> 00:08:51,166
Come on.
146
00:08:56,366 --> 00:08:59,205
You've got to be joking! I'll look
like Little Red Riding Hood!
147
00:08:59,206 --> 00:09:01,805
Get on with it. And don't come
back till you've sold the lot.
148
00:09:01,806 --> 00:09:03,805
Hey, have you been eating a Big Boy?
149
00:09:03,806 --> 00:09:05,486
No.
150
00:09:07,526 --> 00:09:10,326
My, what big teeth you have!
All the better to eat you with!
151
00:09:14,526 --> 00:09:16,525
Hello to you, Tom.
152
00:09:16,526 --> 00:09:18,605
I squeal when I see you are
class leader.
153
00:09:18,606 --> 00:09:21,325
God dag! You are remembering me.
154
00:09:21,326 --> 00:09:23,485
Of course. It's great to see you
here.
155
00:09:23,486 --> 00:09:25,965
I'm having two minds for coming
156
00:09:25,966 --> 00:09:27,725
because I'm very strong.
157
00:09:27,726 --> 00:09:29,806
My father and brothers
make me join them in combat
158
00:09:29,807 --> 00:09:32,525
with the traditional Swedish Mora
fighting knives.
159
00:09:32,526 --> 00:09:35,405
This one, I carry it always.
160
00:09:35,406 --> 00:09:37,126
My father made for me when I left
home.
161
00:09:37,127 --> 00:09:39,045
Gosh. Right.
162
00:09:39,046 --> 00:09:40,846
I'm not sure. Perhaps you should...
163
00:09:40,847 --> 00:09:44,805
My problem, Tom, is that my looks
attract green-eared monster in other womens.
164
00:09:44,806 --> 00:09:49,685
I'm always sensing an imminent
attack from less beautiful woman.
165
00:09:49,686 --> 00:09:52,165
Right. Well, I think I can certainly
help you.
166
00:09:52,166 --> 00:09:55,486
I must say, though, that I don't
think that the knife is quite what...
167
00:09:59,886 --> 00:10:01,206
Sorry.
168
00:10:04,606 --> 00:10:06,645
I need to get to my locker.
169
00:10:06,646 --> 00:10:08,285
Sorry. Always in the way!
170
00:10:08,286 --> 00:10:10,046
I'll just, um...
171
00:10:13,366 --> 00:10:14,725
Oh...
172
00:10:14,726 --> 00:10:16,526
It's... water.
173
00:10:28,846 --> 00:10:30,325
Where are all the men?
174
00:10:30,326 --> 00:10:33,205
It's a women-only class.
175
00:10:33,206 --> 00:10:34,326
What?!
176
00:10:34,966 --> 00:10:36,366
Hello!
177
00:10:37,606 --> 00:10:39,245
Wow!
178
00:10:39,246 --> 00:10:40,966
I'm so glad you came!
179
00:10:41,646 --> 00:10:45,005
No of fence, Tom, but I'm heading to
the gym.
180
00:10:45,006 --> 00:10:47,605
I need ripped men,
not defenceless women.
181
00:10:47,606 --> 00:10:49,965
Please stay! You'll be fine!
182
00:10:49,966 --> 00:10:51,925
Look, Inca's here.
183
00:10:51,926 --> 00:10:53,326
Yes...
184
00:10:54,646 --> 00:10:56,445
She's very enthusiastic.
185
00:10:56,446 --> 00:10:59,086
All right, everyone. Pair up.
186
00:11:10,806 --> 00:11:13,045
Gemma, are you OK?
187
00:11:13,046 --> 00:11:14,645
What? Yes. No, I'm fine.
188
00:11:14,646 --> 00:11:16,885
I didn't have a partner
189
00:11:16,886 --> 00:11:19,126
so I was just bouncing.
190
00:11:24,006 --> 00:11:25,645
I'm so glad you made it, Gemma.
191
00:11:25,646 --> 00:11:28,205
I know this is an odd sort of
a date,
192
00:11:28,206 --> 00:11:31,965
but you're actually quite good at it
for a tiny person.
193
00:11:31,966 --> 00:11:33,886
I'm not that tiny!
194
00:11:34,846 --> 00:11:37,285
Like a tiny, tired sparrow.
195
00:11:37,286 --> 00:11:39,925
Although not all tiny things
are defenceless.
196
00:11:39,926 --> 00:11:42,165
Think of the golden poison
dart frog.
197
00:11:42,166 --> 00:11:46,006
A mere two inches long, but has
the venom to kill ten men!
198
00:11:48,366 --> 00:11:50,365
Who wants to attack Gemma?
199
00:11:50,366 --> 00:11:51,966
Ja!
200
00:11:55,406 --> 00:11:57,126
All right?
201
00:11:59,726 --> 00:12:02,525
She's just popped out the back,
mate. Short-staffed.
202
00:12:02,526 --> 00:12:04,086
Right. Thanks.
203
00:12:05,486 --> 00:12:07,765
She's a lesbian, you know.
204
00:12:07,766 --> 00:12:09,446
Oh, right. Yep.
205
00:12:11,566 --> 00:12:13,046
Oh, hey!
206
00:12:16,926 --> 00:12:18,645
Thanks. No problem.
207
00:12:18,646 --> 00:12:20,925
What can I get you?
208
00:12:20,926 --> 00:12:23,326
Probably about half a pint of lager?
209
00:12:24,286 --> 00:12:26,605
You're Alfie's mate, right? Yeah.
210
00:12:26,606 --> 00:12:28,245
Have a half on me.
211
00:12:28,246 --> 00:12:30,246
I'll buy you one back
when he gets here.
212
00:12:31,726 --> 00:12:34,765
You know what? Why don't I take it
out of your wages?
213
00:12:34,766 --> 00:12:37,326
You need someone?
For today, definitely.
214
00:12:37,846 --> 00:12:39,885
My other half has flu.
215
00:12:39,886 --> 00:12:43,005
I've got half a dozen hens
arriving at five.
216
00:12:43,006 --> 00:12:46,565
I'd need more than a pint
to do the stripper thing.
217
00:12:46,566 --> 00:12:49,885
I've got that covered. But I do need
a barman tonight if you can help?
218
00:12:49,886 --> 00:12:52,685
When do I start? How long will it
take you to drink your pint?
219
00:12:52,686 --> 00:12:54,245
I never drink on duty.
220
00:12:54,246 --> 00:12:56,606
If it's going begging?
221
00:13:03,966 --> 00:13:05,966
You won't turn her.
222
00:13:07,126 --> 00:13:08,405
I've tried.
223
00:13:08,406 --> 00:13:10,606
Oh. I'll bear that in mind.
224
00:13:15,406 --> 00:13:17,885
See? Wasn't so bad today, was it?
225
00:13:17,886 --> 00:13:21,246
S'pose. Plenty of fit women in those
offices, that's for sure.
226
00:13:22,526 --> 00:13:25,525
Yeah, well, keep your eye
on the butties, not the hotties is my advice.
227
00:13:25,526 --> 00:13:28,085
Starts off as in innocent flirt
and before you know it,
228
00:13:28,086 --> 00:13:30,446
you've set up home and they ask you
to get a sperm count.
229
00:13:33,006 --> 00:13:35,085
Anyway, you did well today.
230
00:13:35,086 --> 00:13:36,806
Thanks.
231
00:13:38,366 --> 00:13:41,365
Right. Out you pop. What, here?
232
00:13:41,366 --> 00:13:44,765
Get the bus. I've got to collect
Inca from her self-defence class. Makes sense.
233
00:13:44,766 --> 00:13:46,885
She can't rely on you to defend her,
can she?
234
00:13:46,886 --> 00:13:51,406
Why not? Because you're physically
challenged, like an old, withered badger.
235
00:13:53,086 --> 00:13:56,046
5:00am tomorrow. Don't be late.
Here.
236
00:14:02,046 --> 00:14:04,086
Old badger?
237
00:14:05,526 --> 00:14:06,886
Cheek!
238
00:14:15,966 --> 00:14:19,286
Oh, not that bloody nincompoop!
239
00:14:21,566 --> 00:14:23,285
Agh! Ooh!
240
00:14:23,286 --> 00:14:25,925
Oh, no! Bloody hell!
241
00:14:25,926 --> 00:14:27,285
Go on, Gems!
242
00:14:27,286 --> 00:14:31,725
If only she had the balls to do that
when you two were together! Isn't there a restraining order on you?
243
00:14:31,726 --> 00:14:35,725
A misunderstanding when the sauna
doors got stuck. It was very hot. I could have died.
244
00:14:35,726 --> 00:14:38,965
The guy who got stuck in there
with you looked half dead when he came out!
245
00:14:38,966 --> 00:14:41,565
Inca looks like she's enjoying
herself!
246
00:14:41,566 --> 00:14:45,166
Must be weird for her sitting on top
of a real man for a change!
247
00:14:52,526 --> 00:14:54,245
? You're insecure
248
00:14:54,246 --> 00:14:55,965
? Don't know what for
249
00:14:55,966 --> 00:15:00,006
? You're turning heads when you walk
through the do-o-or ?
250
00:15:01,286 --> 00:15:04,845
What's up, Doc? That's original!
I try. Nice ears.
251
00:15:04,846 --> 00:15:08,325
Thanks. Same to you. Thanks.
Although mine are more like mouse's.
252
00:15:08,326 --> 00:15:11,125
In fact, Alfie's built like a mouse
all over.
253
00:15:11,126 --> 00:15:12,846
Yeah, right!
254
00:15:13,606 --> 00:15:16,166
What can I get you?
Carrot juice, obviously.
255
00:15:20,926 --> 00:15:23,966
Get your hairy mitts off her!
256
00:15:25,886 --> 00:15:28,165
Right. That's it!
257
00:15:28,166 --> 00:15:29,965
That's right.
258
00:15:29,966 --> 00:15:32,766
It's worked well.
You have me overcome!
259
00:15:34,406 --> 00:15:36,245
Hello, Jason.
260
00:15:36,246 --> 00:15:39,965
We're not quite finished yet. If you
can wait in the other room for Inca.
261
00:15:39,966 --> 00:15:43,885
The studio is a soft-shoed area
only. I'm here to join the class.
262
00:15:43,886 --> 00:15:45,725
But it's not for men, Jason.
263
00:15:45,726 --> 00:15:47,845
I call that sexist.
264
00:15:47,846 --> 00:15:50,365
And that's illegal
in some countries.
265
00:15:50,366 --> 00:15:55,565
I'm just as likely to get attacked
as any of you. More, even.
266
00:15:55,566 --> 00:15:58,126
True. I know loads of people
who want to punch you!
267
00:15:59,046 --> 00:16:02,645
I would be happy to arrange an
all-male class, if there's enough interest.
268
00:16:02,646 --> 00:16:04,405
I want to join this one.
269
00:16:04,406 --> 00:16:05,885
Right.
270
00:16:05,886 --> 00:16:09,886
Well, if there are no objections,
it might be handy to have another "attacker".
271
00:16:13,966 --> 00:16:16,085
What an idiot! Yeah, I know!
272
00:16:16,086 --> 00:16:18,486
I was talking about you.
273
00:16:20,526 --> 00:16:23,605
I could offer you a couple of shifts
this week, if you're interested?
274
00:16:23,606 --> 00:16:27,205
Thanks, but it might not be enough.
Might go back home.
275
00:16:27,206 --> 00:16:30,405
If there's nothing for you to stay
here for, it makes sense.
276
00:16:30,406 --> 00:16:33,686
Well, there kind of is.
277
00:16:35,806 --> 00:16:39,965
Alfie? He's cute, but no!
278
00:16:39,966 --> 00:16:42,125
It's complicated.
279
00:16:42,126 --> 00:16:48,565
She's already taken? Not yet, but to
have halfway is harder than not at all.
280
00:16:48,566 --> 00:16:51,886
Quite the philosopher. It's written
in the men's toilets.
281
00:16:54,886 --> 00:16:57,366
So that's why it's important to
practise these moves
282
00:16:57,367 --> 00:17:01,925
at home with a partner or a friend.
283
00:17:01,926 --> 00:17:06,405
Looks like you've got a thrilling
night ahead, Gem Gem! Shut up!
284
00:17:06,406 --> 00:17:09,645
So you must do what you can to
loosen your assailant's grip.
285
00:17:09,646 --> 00:17:13,245
Bite, scratch... I'm professional
nail technician
286
00:17:13,246 --> 00:17:15,325
if any woman is needing new nails.
287
00:17:15,326 --> 00:17:19,046
Thank you, Inca. So, who wants to
attack me?
288
00:17:21,966 --> 00:17:25,406
Come on, who's it going to be?
Anybody?
289
00:17:26,006 --> 00:17:28,285
Scared? No!
290
00:17:28,286 --> 00:17:29,966
I just don't want to hurt him.
291
00:17:33,886 --> 00:17:34,925
Yes!
292
00:17:34,926 --> 00:17:37,885
Oh. Right. I was looking for a lady,
but...
293
00:17:37,886 --> 00:17:39,485
Near as dammit!
294
00:17:39,486 --> 00:17:41,486
If you'll join me over here, Jason.
295
00:17:46,166 --> 00:17:49,045
Right. Now, you will attack me.
296
00:17:49,046 --> 00:17:52,166
It'll be my pleasure. And I will
overcome you. You can try!
297
00:17:53,006 --> 00:17:54,926
In your own time.
298
00:18:00,966 --> 00:18:03,766
WOMEN CHANT: Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom!
299
00:18:05,806 --> 00:18:07,606
Come on, Jason!
300
00:18:15,646 --> 00:18:19,525
Isn't it thrill to see our two men
fight like rabid bears!
301
00:18:19,526 --> 00:18:21,726
I wouldn't call it thrill exactly.
302
00:18:25,926 --> 00:18:27,565
Yield? Do you yield?
303
00:18:27,566 --> 00:18:30,165
I will never yield!
304
00:18:30,166 --> 00:18:32,006
Yield! Yield!
305
00:18:38,206 --> 00:18:41,005
Get up, Jason.
306
00:18:41,006 --> 00:18:43,165
In a minute, love. Are you all
right?
307
00:18:43,166 --> 00:18:44,805
Wasn't too rough, was I?
308
00:18:44,806 --> 00:18:47,165
Not rough enough, if anything, no.
309
00:18:47,166 --> 00:18:51,166
I just didn't want to look like a
show-off. Don't worry, you didn't!
310
00:18:55,566 --> 00:19:00,126
? Everybody loves a lover
311
00:19:00,446 --> 00:19:02,685
? I'm a lover
312
00:19:02,686 --> 00:19:05,445
? Everybody loves me
313
00:19:05,446 --> 00:19:08,845
? Gee, I feel just about ten feet
tall
314
00:19:08,846 --> 00:19:11,686
? I've been having a ball... ?
315
00:19:15,446 --> 00:19:17,206
All right!
316
00:19:18,126 --> 00:19:20,245
What do you say?
317
00:19:20,246 --> 00:19:22,605
Off! Off! Off! Off!
318
00:19:22,606 --> 00:19:25,645
? ..Everybody loves me, yes they do
319
00:19:25,646 --> 00:19:28,685
? And I love everybody... ?
320
00:19:28,686 --> 00:19:29,966
Move.
321
00:19:32,326 --> 00:19:34,565
I think I've peaked too early.
What time is it?
322
00:19:34,566 --> 00:19:37,205
It's 6.30. I'm gonna be sick!
323
00:19:37,206 --> 00:19:39,726
I ate too many Big Boys!
324
00:19:40,286 --> 00:19:42,765
Where are all the bunnies going?
Watership Down.
325
00:19:42,766 --> 00:19:46,285
Is that a new club? Never mind,
mate. I'll call a cab and take you home.
326
00:19:46,286 --> 00:19:47,725
OK?
327
00:19:47,726 --> 00:19:49,605
Here we go. Here we go.
328
00:19:49,606 --> 00:19:51,885
I can't understand
what you see in him.
329
00:19:51,886 --> 00:19:55,085
What, beyond his generous and kind
personality,
330
00:19:55,086 --> 00:19:56,845
his strength... He's so obvious.
331
00:19:56,846 --> 00:19:59,965
If you mean obviously good-looking,
then yes, he's obvious.
332
00:19:59,966 --> 00:20:03,925
Look at him. All over her
like a dirty rash.
333
00:20:03,926 --> 00:20:06,845
I don't think he's interested in her
like that. No of fence,
334
00:20:06,846 --> 00:20:11,326
but Inca has powers over men that
a woman like you couldn't possibly understand.
335
00:20:26,646 --> 00:20:30,965
What are you doing, Jason?
I'm your protector. Me, not him.
336
00:20:30,966 --> 00:20:34,045
What? I want to look after you
forever, my delicate flower.
337
00:20:34,046 --> 00:20:35,965
Praise Odin! Is this the proposal?
338
00:20:35,966 --> 00:20:39,925
Not exactly. More a declaration.
339
00:20:39,926 --> 00:20:44,245
Yes! Yes, I will be your wife.
I will be Inca Adolphson Jones.
340
00:20:44,246 --> 00:20:46,325
No, hang on. What I meant was...
341
00:20:46,326 --> 00:20:50,125
We are to be wife and husband!
One day.
342
00:20:50,126 --> 00:20:52,605
One day. We'll have a long
engagement. Aghh!
343
00:20:52,606 --> 00:20:54,206
Ooh. Mmm.
344
00:20:57,886 --> 00:21:00,086
This must remind you of when Jason
proposed to you.
345
00:21:00,087 --> 00:21:03,525
He asked me on the family day out
at Chessington.
346
00:21:03,526 --> 00:21:05,325
On the log flume.
347
00:21:05,326 --> 00:21:07,485
He'd asked Alfie to keep the ring
safe.
348
00:21:07,486 --> 00:21:10,125
Alfie ate it. We had to wait
two days to get it back!
349
00:21:10,126 --> 00:21:11,565
Oh.
350
00:21:11,566 --> 00:21:13,885
It is hard, though,
when an ex moves on.
351
00:21:13,886 --> 00:21:17,845
I know when Selina and Imran bought
their Lexus, I knew I had to try.
352
00:21:17,846 --> 00:21:21,125
Jason and I have been over
a long time.
353
00:21:21,126 --> 00:21:24,126
Although it's never really over
when you have a child, is it?
354
00:21:27,126 --> 00:21:29,205
Fancy that smoothie?
355
00:21:29,206 --> 00:21:33,646
I think I'll head home. But thanks
for tonight, Tom. It's been... fun.
356
00:21:45,126 --> 00:21:48,206
Yeah, you want some?
Frankly, it's a relief.
357
00:21:49,486 --> 00:21:52,166
Oh, I can do dirty!
358
00:21:53,326 --> 00:21:54,885
Watch this!
359
00:21:54,886 --> 00:21:57,726
Wow, you just beat
Alfie's highest score.
360
00:21:58,846 --> 00:22:01,085
How long have you been standing
there?
361
00:22:01,086 --> 00:22:02,485
Long enough.
362
00:22:02,486 --> 00:22:05,605
I'd say you've got some pent-up
anger you need releasing.
363
00:22:05,606 --> 00:22:08,726
Not so much anger.
More petty annoyances.
364
00:22:10,286 --> 00:22:14,005
Is me being here included
in the petty annoyances?
365
00:22:14,006 --> 00:22:17,926
Cos I was thinking maybe I should
go...
366
00:22:19,246 --> 00:22:21,085
home.
367
00:22:21,086 --> 00:22:23,166
Back to Ireland.
368
00:22:24,326 --> 00:22:26,485
Well, you don't have to go that far!
369
00:22:26,486 --> 00:22:29,965
I mean I don't want to push you out
of, um...
370
00:22:29,966 --> 00:22:33,645
out of Alfie's life altogether.
371
00:22:33,646 --> 00:22:38,285
So are we saying a bus ride away?
372
00:22:38,286 --> 00:22:40,006
Well, um...
373
00:22:41,406 --> 00:22:45,285
being a bus ride away would
probably stop the kissing.
374
00:22:45,286 --> 00:22:47,206
And, uh...
375
00:22:48,726 --> 00:22:51,285
Well, the kissing always leads to,
um...
376
00:22:51,286 --> 00:22:53,365
Well, it leads to...
377
00:22:53,366 --> 00:22:56,885
You know, the complicated thing
that happens after kissing.
378
00:22:56,886 --> 00:22:58,366
So, um...
379
00:22:59,046 --> 00:23:01,366
It might be safer.
380
00:23:07,806 --> 00:23:09,966
Then safer it'll be.
381
00:23:13,086 --> 00:23:15,325
I'll be on my way.
382
00:23:15,326 --> 00:23:18,605
What? No! No. No, I mean,
you don't have to leave now.
383
00:23:18,606 --> 00:23:22,925
I mean, it's late and the buses
are less frequent after 11.
384
00:23:22,926 --> 00:23:28,565
I think I do, otherwise the
complicated thing that happens after the kissing might happen.
385
00:23:28,566 --> 00:23:30,605
Oh, right. Right.
386
00:23:30,606 --> 00:23:36,605
Um, well, in that case,
I won't kiss you goodbye.
387
00:23:36,606 --> 00:23:40,485
Good. Because neither of us want
the complicated thing to happen.
388
00:23:40,486 --> 00:23:44,166
No. No, of course not.
No, not at all. Eugh!
389
00:23:47,966 --> 00:23:49,765
Oh, right. Yes. Yes.
390
00:23:49,766 --> 00:23:51,086
Um...
391
00:23:51,966 --> 00:23:54,606
Nice to have had you.
Er, staying here!
392
00:23:58,286 --> 00:23:59,926
Goodbye, Mrs Jones.
393
00:24:00,926 --> 00:24:03,566
Goodbye, Mr...
394
00:24:04,686 --> 00:24:06,325
Delaney.
395
00:24:06,326 --> 00:24:07,846
Right.
396
00:24:09,166 --> 00:24:10,486
Delaney.
397
00:24:13,046 --> 00:24:14,566
Billy Delaney.
398
00:24:16,686 --> 00:24:17,886
Right.
399
00:24:40,286 --> 00:24:42,206
Ow! Oh!
400
00:24:44,366 --> 00:24:45,606
Oh!
401
00:24:46,526 --> 00:24:48,925
So I've phoned my father
and brothers
402
00:24:48,926 --> 00:24:52,485
and told them about
our most exciting news.
403
00:24:52,486 --> 00:24:56,406
My father said he's glad he doesn't
have to hunt you down and kill you now!
404
00:24:59,646 --> 00:25:01,086
Great!
405
00:25:02,286 --> 00:25:06,325
Let's hold off telling my girls,
though, until we have a date. OK?
406
00:25:06,326 --> 00:25:07,645
Jesus!
407
00:25:07,646 --> 00:25:09,565
Oh, Jason, do you feel pain?
408
00:25:09,566 --> 00:25:10,965
Just a bit tender.
409
00:25:10,966 --> 00:25:13,285
I hope your baby-making pods
are not damaged.
410
00:25:13,286 --> 00:25:14,885
No, they're all fine.
411
00:25:14,886 --> 00:25:17,525
I just twisted my back at work.
412
00:25:17,526 --> 00:25:19,245
Not the fighting?
413
00:25:19,246 --> 00:25:20,605
No!
414
00:25:20,606 --> 00:25:22,366
That was child's play.
415
00:25:23,926 --> 00:25:25,725
Jason,
416
00:25:25,726 --> 00:25:28,165
I need diamond.
417
00:25:28,166 --> 00:25:31,485
We'll look into getting a ring
for you, love,
418
00:25:31,486 --> 00:25:33,605
but I have to buy a new van first.
419
00:25:33,606 --> 00:25:36,165
You put the purchase of a van
before Inca?!
420
00:25:36,166 --> 00:25:39,286
More vans means more money
for diamonds.
421
00:25:40,606 --> 00:25:42,486
Let's not rush things, love.
422
00:25:44,326 --> 00:25:48,805
But... I just want to enjoy
every minute.
423
00:25:48,806 --> 00:25:51,565
I want everything to be perfect
for you.
424
00:25:51,566 --> 00:25:55,926
Oh, it will, Jason. I will be
the most beautiful bride.
425
00:26:09,486 --> 00:26:11,046
Yep, come in.
426
00:26:12,566 --> 00:26:14,646
Hello, mate. Hey.
427
00:26:16,446 --> 00:26:18,286
Some fresh towels and a cup
of Japanese tea.
428
00:26:18,287 --> 00:26:21,205
It's a yunomi. It has no handle
429
00:26:21,206 --> 00:26:25,006
so you feel the warmth directly by
cupping it in both hands. Lovely.
430
00:26:30,206 --> 00:26:35,565
Right, old chap. I'm going to watch
Morse, if you want to join me? Thanks, Tom, but I'm knackered.
431
00:26:35,566 --> 00:26:39,765
No problem. We'll clear out the rest
of Poppy's old toys tomorrow. Cool.
432
00:26:39,766 --> 00:26:41,326
Yep.
433
00:26:43,606 --> 00:26:46,046
It's great having you here, mate.
434
00:26:47,046 --> 00:26:49,086
Night! Good night!
435
00:27:16,926 --> 00:27:22,925
? I am just a little girl... ?
436
00:27:22,926 --> 00:27:25,725
I mean, kissing's not so bad, is it?
437
00:27:25,726 --> 00:27:28,246
Doesn't always lead to...
438
00:27:29,926 --> 00:27:32,805
There's lots of men and it hasn't
led to...
439
00:27:32,806 --> 00:27:34,446
Has it?
440
00:27:35,526 --> 00:27:37,086
No.
441
00:27:40,606 --> 00:27:42,286
Night.
442
00:27:43,326 --> 00:27:46,486
Has anyone ever told you
you have very weird eyes?
443
00:27:53,846 --> 00:27:55,486
And no funny business!
444
00:28:02,010 --> 00:28:07,370
445
00:28:08,191 --> 00:29:08,329
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446
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