Original subtitles

♪♪

[Quill] Listen up, people.

The Believers' ship still has the machine they used

to steal Cosmo's powers, and we're gonna steal 'em back.

[Gamora] Quill, why don't we just use the Continuum Cortex to teleport in?

Duh! It's a crashed spaceship, Gamora.

We might teleport right into a radiation leak, [Cosmo barking]

or worse. Mm, not tail! Not the tail!

[yells] Get away, you little mutt!

[barking continues]

I am Groot.

I am Groot. [barks, whines]

[barking]

Eh, he's got a way with animals.

[Cosmo barking]

It's just me. Get over it already.

Without his psychic energy, he is merely a simple beast.

Mm. No way, Drax.

He's just frustrated 'cause he can't read minds no more.

I am Groot.

[whining]

[soft rumbling]

I am Groot?

I don't hear no rumbling, and I sure don't hear no ominous rumbling.

[ominous, deep voice] I believe.

[Rocket] Oh. That ominous rumbling.

No! No, no, no, no, no! This is not the time to blink! [grunts]

[all yelling]

Get ready for one big headache!

[electricity arcing]

Okay, so maybe we won't be taking the Milano to the Believer ship.

[electricity cracks]

[ominous, deep voice] I believe.

That can't be good. All the more reason

to get aboard the Believer ship and find out what they're up to.

[growling softly]

Hey. Excuse me. Could you, uh,

you know, open the eyelid for us?

[growling continues]

[barking]

Cosmo, get a grip!

Seriously, dude, we need to get outta here.

Do I gotta do everything myself?

Hey, buddy, we need to... [electricity arcing]

[crying out]

Rocket! You all right?

Yeah, no thanks to that flarknard in there.

What's your malfunction?

[Cosmo barking] Hold that thought.

Cosmo, what is it, boy? [barking continues]

Why do you question that animal when you know he cannot answer?

'Cause he's smarter than the rest of ya put together.

Now let's go, you krutackers. Cosmo's gonna lead the way.

[barking]

I believe.

[Quill] Uh, where exactly is Cosmo leading us?

[Rocket] How should I know? I'm just glad it's not you.

[growling] [all gasp]

[barking]

Good dog, Cosmo. What'd you find?

I believe. I believe.

I believe. I believe.

I believe. I believe.

Zombies!

Uh, what's a zombie? Clearly, it is an enemy.

I believe. I believe.

I believe. I believe.

I believe. I believe.

An extremely slow enemy.

Ha! That's what everybody says

right before the zombies eat their brains.

Wait for it. Wait for it.

[zombies continue repeating "I believe"]

I am Groot?

My brain's still intact, which is more than I can say for Quill's.

I know this man. He once made me an excellent sandwich.

Of course! They're all upstanding citizens

until they go all zombie.

[zombies continue repeating "I believe"]

Hey, that's my ship you're tearing up!

Rocket, wait. If Quill's right,

which may be a first, these are innocent people.

They are not in control of their actions.

What? I had it on "stun"...

possibly-ish.

[grunts]

Aha! See? Superstrong. That's a zombie thing.

I have studied every zombie movie ever made.

Wait. You know them from movies?

Well, mostly that one music video, but I saw it, like, a billion times.

Hang on. Okay. Look. I've got it all right here on tape.

"Star-Lord's Audio Guide to Surviving a Zombie Attack."

Why would you record an audio guide to surviving a fictional situation?

Uh, I'd just been taken by aliens.

Everything was kind of up for grabs.

[ominous, deep voice] I believe.

[thunderclap]

[growling]

[Quill] Aah!

Quill, are you okay?

[sighs]

That krutacker scratched my tape player!

You know how hard it is to find parts for this thing?

[Rocket] Not as hard as it'll be to replace all your ship's parts

if we let those krutackers make off with 'em!

[growling] [zombies] I believe.

I am Groot.

Now can I blast 'em?

Try not to do any permanent damage.

[groans] You just gotta suck the joy out of everything.

[yelling]

[grunting]

Aah!

[thunderclap]

I believe.

Aah! I am Groot!

I believe.

[zombies repeating "I believe"]

Stun beams ain't working on these guys. They just keep coming back.

That's 'cause zombies don't stay down,

which you'd know if you listened to my tape.

We have to fall back.

Cosmo, we're leaving. [barking]

[zombies] I believe.

We have to get to the... [groans]

Quill, are you all right?

[groans]

[grunts]

Quill?

I believe.

[barking continues] Quill's a zombie!

I am Groot?

How should I know how he turned zombie?

Right now, we gotta keep 'em all away from us!

[barking] Good idea, Cosmo!

Shortcut through the Knowhere marketplace.

[zombies] I believe. I am Groot.

[Rocket] The zombie-filled Knowhere marketplace.

I believe.

I believe. I believe.

[zombies repeating "I believe"]

That krutackin' Believer ship is putting the hoodoo on everybody!

There's no choice now. We have to use the Continuum Cortex

to get onto that ship.

Can I point out that there's

a bazillion zombies between us and the Cortex?

The ones in the hangar ignored us until we interfered.

Maybe if we blend in, we can sneak through.

I will consult Quill's zombie survival guide. He may have valuable advice.

When has Quill ever had valuable advice?

Just be quiet and act like a zombie.

I believe.

I believe.

I believe. I am Groot.

[Quill] "Star-Lord's Audio Guide to Surviving a Zombie Attack."

Rule one: If someone tells you, "I'm not like other guys," take their word for it.

You there. Are you like other guys?

[groans]

I am Groot.

I believe.

[zombies continue repeating "I believe"]

Rule two: Avoid abandoned houses with window blinds

that cast spooky, prison-bar-looking shadows.

[Drax yells]

Drax will destroy all foul window blinds!

[yelling]

[zombies stop repeating "I believe"]

[both] I believe.

[zombies resume repeating "I believe"]

I believe. I believe.

Rule three: Head shots. Always head shots.

Rule three: Head shots. Always-- Huh?

[clicks off] We're not doing that. Just keep moving.

I believe. I believe.

[barking]

That dumb animal knows nothing about sneaking.

Then you two have something in common.

[zombies continue repeating "I believe"]

It's okay. We're almost there.

I believe.

[growls]

[thunderclap] [all] I believe.

I believe we're flarged!

[thunderclap]

[zombies repeating "I believe"]

Run for it!

[Quill] I believe.

[grunting]

[grunts] [growling]

I am Groot!

[zombies repeating "I believe"]

I... [electricity arcing]

[grunts]

[grunts]

[zombies continue repeating "I believe"]

Continuum Cortex! Go!

[grunting]

[frustrated grunting]

Controls are dead.

That energy pulse must've knocked out the Continuum Cortex too.

You better get it working, 'cause the zombies are coming, and it's our only way out.

[Drax] I will protect Quill's zombie-fighting guide.

Where ya gonna hide it? Never mind. Don't wanna know.

I believe.

[blows landing]

[groans] Are you all right?

I'm... fine.

But that door's not gonna hold for long.

It's your toy, Cosmo. How do I reboot this thing? [whines]

You know, you're really not helping your case here, mutt.

[zombies repeating "I believe"]

[gasps] [electricity arcing]

[zombies continue repeating "I believe"]

[yells] Let go!

[yelling]

[groans]

[whirring] Wait. I've seen this before.

Yeah. When Quill flew the big head around and blasted Thanos.

The zombies are going to pilot Knowhere?

To what location? Can't be anywhere good.

Then we need to stop them from taking control.

[grunts]

[grunts, yells]

[all grunting]

[yells]

Come on. Fight it.

[groaning]

Gamora!

I believe.

Aw, krutack!

I believe. [barking]

[all grunting]

Gamora, I will avenge you!

Forget it, Drax. We don't need vengeance.

We need to find out what the flarg is going on around here.

Come on. Cosmo's got a plan.

I believe.

I see no point in following this animal.

Look, I'm telling ya, he's got something.

[sniffing] Maybe it's an override for the Cortex,

or some kind of de-zombifier. [toy squeaks]

[squeaking]

Oh, you're killin' me here, pooch.

[growling]

Gimme that!

[squeaks, beeps]

Ha! In your face, Drax!

What? What is in my face?

[Rocket] Check this out. Security monitors.

We got eyes all over Knowhere.

The zombies aren't just tearing stuff up.

They're building some kind of weapon.

A Believer weapon.

[beeps]

And they're taking it to Xandar!

But what would Xandar have that would interest the Believers?

Oh, nothin' much. Just the krutackin' Cocoon

that they think is gonna save the galaxy.

[yells] If only I could get to that Believer ship,

I would yank it out with my bare hands!

[beeps]

Service tunnels! Perfect!

We just gotta figure out how to move that krutackin' ship once we get there.

[beeps]

Oh-ho-ho-ho!

You are one brilliant pooch.

Yes, you are!

[thunderclap]

This is not the Believer ship.

That animal merely pushed random buttons. He has no plan!

Wanna bet?

Cosmo brought us here 'cause he wants us to fly

a bunch of these mining pods up to the Believer ship

and use 'em to push that krutacker outta Knowhere's skull.

Ain't that right, pooch? [barks]

[both] I believe.

[growling] [thunderclap]

He has led us straight into a trap.

Forgive me, Gamora.

[grunts, groans]

[grunts] [cat yowling]

I believe.

I am Groot!

I finally get to shoot quill, and I don't even have time to enjoy it.

Aw, krutack!

I believe. [Cosmo barking]

[whimpering]

[grunts] [grunts]

Again, my apologies.

[Quill] I believe.

I believe.

Get to the pods.

[beeping, whirring]

[thunderclap]

There's the Believer ship.

Find yourself a good place to push.

Okay, let's shove this krutackin' thing outta here!

[ascending whirring]

Success. The ship is moving.

[beeping]

There's a weird energy signature coming from the ship.

Hang on. [beeps]

Aah!

[together] I believe.

I believe.

[ominous, deep voice] I believe.

[Rocket] Come on, come on, come on! Full throttle!

Engines at maximum!

I am Groot!

We need more than maximum!

Rocket, what is happening?

The Believers turned on their engines. [alarm blaring]

If we don't do something, they're gonna crush us into pulp!

[Drax on radio] Rocket, our pods lack the power to overcome the Believer ship.

I know, I know!

We gotta knock out their engines or something before--

Huh? We're at Xandar already?

Who knew a severed head could move that fast?

I will play Quill's zombie survival tape. Perhaps he will have an idea.

I do not want the last words I hear

to be Quill's krutackin' nonsense!

[thunderclap]

[alarm blaring]

Oh, that is it!

We are now officially 100% krutacked!

[beeping]

And there's a power surge in the Continuum Cortex.

Oh, this ain't good!

The Believers have the Cocoon,

so they can open it and maybe destroy the entire universe.

But that don't matter to us, see, 'cause we're gonna get squished

flatter than a firpnik in the next 15 seconds!

I am Groot!

Then I must act quickly.

[Quill] Rule three: Head shots.

Always head shots.

Wait, wait, wait, wait. Head shots.

[chuckles] Quill's actually right for once.

A head shot is exactly what we need!

Ha! This time, the humiliation is in your face, Rocket!

I am Groot.

I need full remote control of your pods.

You've gotta trust me on this one.

Okay. Here we-- Aah! [Cosmo growling]

[Drax] Here we what? What are you doing?

Cosmo, no! Stay!

[barking, growling] Heel!

[grunting]

Bad dog! Bad zombie dog! [yells]

[barks]

[yells] [barking]

[growling, barking] [yells]

Okay, this time for sure.

One head shot, coming right up! [beeps]

That Believer ship wants to push through this skull?

Let it push all the way through this skull!

Yeah! [whoops]

[Gamora, Quill] I believe.

[groans]

[both groan]

Where are we?

And, uh, where are my tunes?

Gentlemen, we have saved the universe again!

Drax the Destroyer triumphs! I am Groot!

[rattling]

[Cosmo whining]

[barks]

[barking] Hey, Cosmo!

Ya had me worried there for a sec, pooch.

Greetings, Believer brothers and sisters.

Rejoice! For the new Golden Age is at hand!

Once the cannon is fully charged with our own Belief energy,

it will fire its beam, opening the Cocoon,

and I believe the Golden Age will begin!

[Mantis, Believers] I believe. I believe.

Our celebration was premature. I believe...

We must get to the Cortex and stop them from opening the Cocoon.

We'll never make it in time! [barking]

I believe... Unless some genius mutt

has a Continuum Cortex passport for a collar!

[ascending whirring]

[beeps]

Yes! The cannon's still charging!

I just gotta shut it down without blowing us sky high.

[beeps]

[barking] Cosmo!

[whimpering] [descending whirring]

Cosmo!

[gasps]

[cries] Drax thought you was a dumb animal,

but he was wrong.

Don't you worry. I'll tell him.

I'll tell everybody he was a hero.

[crying]

Listen up, losers!

Cosmo sacrificed himself to save the universe.

I hope you appreciate-- [Cosmo] Comrade Rocket! Is okay!

Cosmo is not sacrifice.

Cosmo! [laughing]

Buddy, you're alive! [laughs]

And you're readin' my krutackin' mind, ya meddlin' pooch!

This true. Thanks to blast of energy,

Cosmo is Cosmo again.

[laughing] Uh...

Eh...

Well, maybe Cosmo is too much Cosmo.

[ascending whirring] Huh?

[electricity arcing]

Sorry, Comrade Rocket.

Cosmo is not able to control this much power.

Unfortunately, Cosmo is not able

to keep Cocoon from opening, either.

Please to brace yourself for Golden Age,

or destruction of universe! Aahh!