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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:53,930 --> 00:00:54,930 Hello? 2 00:01:04,060 --> 00:01:06,500 - Hello?! - Hello?! 3 00:01:09,060 --> 00:01:10,060 There's an echo. 4 00:01:10,200 --> 00:01:11,700 I've just arrived. 5 00:01:11,800 --> 00:01:13,760 I've just arrived. Hold on. 6 00:01:14,700 --> 00:01:16,930 How did my echo get here before me? 7 00:01:16,960 --> 00:01:18,600 Arlo, turn around. 8 00:01:20,130 --> 00:01:22,300 Oh, Collie! It's you! 9 00:01:22,700 --> 00:01:25,330 I got them things you wanted for the sandwiches. 10 00:01:26,430 --> 00:01:29,200 Do you mind if I make one now? I'm absolutely Hank Marvin. 11 00:01:29,230 --> 00:01:32,030 No! You can wait until the others get here. 12 00:01:32,130 --> 00:01:33,160 What did you buy? 13 00:01:33,530 --> 00:01:37,000 Pulled pork, pressed tongue, and a hot and spicy whip. 14 00:01:37,300 --> 00:01:39,030 That sounds disgusting! 15 00:01:39,500 --> 00:01:41,730 You said you wanted an S&M selection. 16 00:01:41,760 --> 00:01:43,800 I said an M&S select...! 17 00:01:44,730 --> 00:01:45,800 Never mind. 18 00:02:23,730 --> 00:02:26,060 What are you doing? We're not in slow motion any more. 19 00:02:27,680 --> 00:02:28,370 Sorry. 20 00:02:28,400 --> 00:02:29,470 The boss is here. 21 00:02:29,500 --> 00:02:31,760 He wants help bringing the hardware in from the car. 22 00:02:33,300 --> 00:02:35,800 - But I've just made meself a tea! - Arlokino. 23 00:02:40,900 --> 00:02:43,330 So, if you haven't already guessed, 24 00:02:43,360 --> 00:02:46,970 it's a sort of cross between commedia dell'arte and a heist movie. 25 00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:49,070 I guess because they both use masks. 26 00:02:49,100 --> 00:02:50,830 Which is quite clever, in a way, 27 00:02:50,860 --> 00:02:53,930 but still sounds like something a drama teacher'd have a wank to. 28 00:02:53,960 --> 00:02:58,770 But, hey, it's series six, you've got to allow for a certain artistic exhaustion. 29 00:02:58,800 --> 00:02:59,670 Columbina. 30 00:02:59,700 --> 00:03:02,130 Oh, God, here comes the subplot. 31 00:03:02,160 --> 00:03:03,900 Just stick with me on these bits 32 00:03:03,930 --> 00:03:05,800 and we'll get through them as quickly as possible. 33 00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:07,530 Columbina, you've got to help me. 34 00:03:07,560 --> 00:03:11,460 My daddy wants me to marry his friend, the Captain, who I've never even met. 35 00:03:11,800 --> 00:03:13,560 But I have my heart set on another. 36 00:03:13,960 --> 00:03:15,230 It's so unfair! 37 00:03:15,260 --> 00:03:17,930 Surely, Miss, your father has other things on his mind today. 38 00:03:17,960 --> 00:03:20,230 Like, 12 million other things. 39 00:03:20,700 --> 00:03:24,860 Because the diamonds we're stealing are worth ��12 million? 40 00:03:25,660 --> 00:03:27,600 Yes. That's... 41 00:03:28,960 --> 00:03:29,960 Yes. 42 00:03:30,500 --> 00:03:33,930 So, he's not going to have time to be thinking about marriage proposals. 43 00:03:33,960 --> 00:03:36,400 No, that's exactly why he is! 44 00:03:36,500 --> 00:03:38,300 If everything goes according to plan, 45 00:03:38,500 --> 00:03:41,270 then the Captain'll be rich beyond his wildest dreams. 46 00:03:41,300 --> 00:03:44,560 Then my father will have no need to provide a dowry for me. 47 00:03:44,700 --> 00:03:46,700 He can keep all his own earnings to himself. 48 00:03:46,800 --> 00:03:49,600 - It's nearly finished. - He's being driven by greed 49 00:03:49,800 --> 00:03:52,370 and not by my own wishes of who I want to marry. 50 00:03:52,400 --> 00:03:53,830 But, Madam, what can I do? 51 00:03:53,860 --> 00:03:57,100 I am just a lowly housemaid in this organisation. 52 00:03:57,860 --> 00:04:00,470 I've written a letter to my true beloved, explaining my plight. 53 00:04:00,500 --> 00:04:03,000 Please see that he gets it before the end of the job today. 54 00:04:03,800 --> 00:04:05,670 You want me to give this letter to the Doctor's... 55 00:04:05,700 --> 00:04:08,460 Yes! Yes, please. And not a word to my father. 56 00:04:11,330 --> 00:04:14,460 I guess we're just pretending that WhatsApps and emails don't exist. 57 00:04:14,560 --> 00:04:18,130 Still, I'll give her letter to the Doctor's son, Mario. 58 00:04:18,160 --> 00:04:20,870 He's thick as shit, but fit as fuck! 59 00:04:20,900 --> 00:04:23,970 Columbina, stop Fleabaggin' and make me a cup of splosh. 60 00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:25,700 Yes, Master. Right away. 61 00:04:25,900 --> 00:04:28,700 And I wasn't Fleabagging, I was Miranda-ing. 62 00:04:28,800 --> 00:04:31,000 Such fun. Ooh! 63 00:04:32,300 --> 00:04:34,400 Careful with that, you clumsy cumwad! 64 00:04:35,160 --> 00:04:39,000 There's enough TNT in 'ere to blow both your tiny fucking brain cells out. 65 00:04:39,400 --> 00:04:43,200 Now, did you bring the Glock like I asked ya? 66 00:04:43,900 --> 00:04:44,900 No. 67 00:04:45,100 --> 00:04:48,670 But I did wind my watch up this morning, even though it's digital. 68 00:04:48,700 --> 00:04:50,590 No, your Glock, your pistol! 69 00:04:51,380 --> 00:04:52,430 You mean this? 70 00:04:53,600 --> 00:04:54,960 Don't point it at me. 71 00:04:55,500 --> 00:04:57,260 It's all right, safety's on. 72 00:05:01,300 --> 00:05:02,300 My bad. 73 00:05:09,930 --> 00:05:13,400 My nose tells me this is the place. 74 00:05:23,000 --> 00:05:25,170 Allow me to introduce myself. 75 00:05:25,200 --> 00:05:27,560 I am Il Capitano. 76 00:05:28,460 --> 00:05:32,570 I'm sorry that you're ill, but my name's not Capitano, it's Hortensia. 77 00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:33,970 Ah, yes. 78 00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:39,270 The Hor-tensia, daughter of my esteemed friend Senor Pantalone. 79 00:05:39,300 --> 00:05:41,970 But I'm sure you've heard of me by reputation. 80 00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:44,030 I am Scaramouche. 81 00:05:44,060 --> 00:05:47,560 - Scaramouche? - * Will you do the... * 82 00:05:47,800 --> 00:05:50,400 - What happened there? - We couldn't afford the copyright. 83 00:05:51,400 --> 00:05:52,400 That's a shame. 84 00:05:52,900 --> 00:05:55,270 You're the man that my father wants me to marry?! 85 00:05:55,300 --> 00:05:57,770 Un-a-til a-now I had been a-deaf to your beauty 86 00:05:57,800 --> 00:06:02,660 and blind to-a your voice, dumb to your scent and mute to-a your caress. 87 00:06:02,730 --> 00:06:07,060 I hope to wrong that a-right over the course of this segment. 88 00:06:07,130 --> 00:06:10,380 So, what's your role in this job, Captain? 89 00:06:10,420 --> 00:06:12,400 Surveillance? Security? 90 00:06:12,660 --> 00:06:16,300 I am international authority on booming. 91 00:06:17,300 --> 00:06:18,700 - Booming? - Si, si. 92 00:06:18,730 --> 00:06:22,770 Because of my booming skills, I can a-smash my way in anywhere. 93 00:06:22,800 --> 00:06:24,560 Will you excuse me? I just need the bathroom. 94 00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:31,230 Ah, she is sick with love. 95 00:06:31,600 --> 00:06:36,070 Hortensia, Hortensia, don't a-leave me on the fence-ia! 96 00:06:36,100 --> 00:06:38,370 My feelings don't a-make sense-ia. 97 00:06:38,400 --> 00:06:39,930 I hope it's not dementia. 98 00:06:39,960 --> 00:06:42,770 - Oi, Scaramouche. - Ah, Senor Pantalone. 99 00:06:42,800 --> 00:06:44,430 Some gelignite here for you to take a look at. 100 00:06:44,460 --> 00:06:46,800 I have already eaten, but I thank you. 101 00:06:47,130 --> 00:06:48,830 No, it's fucking dynamite! 102 00:06:49,330 --> 00:06:50,860 Maybe a small bowl, then. 103 00:06:55,330 --> 00:06:58,970 - Right, the Doctor's going to be here any minute. - How do you know? 104 00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:02,030 Because I accidentally turned over two pages of the script at once. 105 00:07:02,360 --> 00:07:05,200 Look, if you do me a favour, I'll let you have a sandwich. 106 00:07:05,330 --> 00:07:07,460 - What flavour? - What flavour favour? 107 00:07:07,900 --> 00:07:10,200 - What flavour sandwich? - Whatever you want. 108 00:07:11,300 --> 00:07:12,970 I'd like a lovely slice of ham. 109 00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:14,000 Lean? 110 00:07:15,600 --> 00:07:17,530 I'd like a lovely slice of ham. 111 00:07:17,560 --> 00:07:20,600 I bet you're loving this on the Cook'd and Bomb'd forum, aren't you? 112 00:07:20,700 --> 00:07:24,730 Look, just give this love letter to the Doctor's son, Mario. 113 00:07:24,760 --> 00:07:26,860 He'll know who it's from. Understand? 114 00:07:27,160 --> 00:07:31,360 The scholar says, "Plethora," and the widow says, "Thanks, that means a lot." 115 00:07:31,400 --> 00:07:33,560 And now he's just turned over two pages at once. 116 00:07:42,760 --> 00:07:45,060 It would appear this is the place, Mario. 117 00:07:45,300 --> 00:07:48,470 Somewhat insalubrious, yet suitably clandestine. 118 00:07:48,500 --> 00:07:51,330 The very sine qua non of a gangster's hideaway, n'est-ce pas? 119 00:07:51,360 --> 00:07:52,700 It's a shithole. 120 00:07:52,930 --> 00:07:53,870 Indeed. 121 00:07:53,900 --> 00:07:56,370 And, yet, its crepuscular corners will allow us 122 00:07:56,400 --> 00:08:01,000 to dupe the old man and his cronies with our pseudo sparklers. 123 00:08:01,760 --> 00:08:02,900 You have them still? 124 00:08:05,300 --> 00:08:08,470 - Oh, you mean the fake diamonds? - Yes, yes! Lower your voice! 125 00:08:08,500 --> 00:08:10,100 - You mean the fake diamonds? - Mario! 126 00:08:10,130 --> 00:08:12,430 - Yes, I've shoved them down the front of my trousers. - Good. 127 00:08:12,900 --> 00:08:15,660 It's important to have a little circumspection. 128 00:08:15,930 --> 00:08:18,100 I think I might if I bend over too quickly. 129 00:08:20,300 --> 00:08:23,070 When the time is right, we will switch the bona fide jewels 130 00:08:23,100 --> 00:08:26,130 with the paste ones and no-one will be any the wiser. Capiche? 131 00:08:26,160 --> 00:08:28,800 Whatever you say, Pops. As long as no-one gets hurt. 132 00:08:28,930 --> 00:08:31,760 - You know you can't stand the sight of blood. - Ah, yes. Well ceded. 133 00:08:32,330 --> 00:08:35,630 Arlokino! You made me a ham sandwich. How kind. 134 00:08:38,800 --> 00:08:40,270 Do we have a quorum? 135 00:08:40,300 --> 00:08:41,870 I speak a little Latin, you know. 136 00:08:41,900 --> 00:08:45,930 Oh, that reminds me - a scholar goes to a funeral 137 00:08:45,960 --> 00:08:47,530 - and asks the widow... - No, no, no, no. 138 00:08:47,560 --> 00:08:49,800 You've done this bit already. Excuse me. 139 00:08:52,300 --> 00:08:54,400 I have something for you, too, Master Mario. 140 00:08:54,530 --> 00:08:57,100 It's from the subplot, so it might not be that important. 141 00:08:57,160 --> 00:08:58,200 Oh, cool. 142 00:08:59,960 --> 00:09:02,060 It's an epistle from a secret admirer. 143 00:09:02,130 --> 00:09:04,000 Apparently you'll know who it's from. 144 00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:19,760 I think I do. 145 00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:22,000 Thanks, Arlo. 146 00:09:22,800 --> 00:09:25,070 All right. Gentlemen, ladies, gather round. 147 00:09:25,100 --> 00:09:28,100 Grab yourselves a seat. We need to get on with the briefing. 148 00:10:38,860 --> 00:10:39,860 Please. 149 00:10:41,500 --> 00:10:42,500 Continue. 150 00:10:45,500 --> 00:10:48,970 Right. Now, you all know your roles, but, for the benefit of them 151 00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:51,730 who are watching on BBC Two, I'm going to go through it again. 152 00:10:51,760 --> 00:10:53,360 - And iPlayer. - What? 153 00:10:53,800 --> 00:10:55,830 Some people could be watching on iPlayer. 154 00:10:56,800 --> 00:11:00,470 All right. For them what are watching on any BBC platform... 155 00:11:00,500 --> 00:11:03,360 Or in other countries, doesn't have to be BBC. 156 00:11:03,400 --> 00:11:06,530 - They have it in Spain, don't they? - Oh, yeah. Spain, Australia. 157 00:11:06,560 --> 00:11:08,970 - It's very big in China, apparently. - All right, for fuck's sake! 158 00:11:09,000 --> 00:11:11,030 Wherever people are watching it, we need to do a recap! 159 00:11:12,360 --> 00:11:16,530 Now, the van with the diamonds leaves Hatton Garden roundabout 160 00:11:16,560 --> 00:11:19,830 at 3pm precisely... 161 00:11:20,100 --> 00:11:23,860 and heads down Greville Street towards Farringdon. 162 00:11:24,460 --> 00:11:29,960 Mario, Scaramouche, you pull the barrier across just west of Saffron Hill. 163 00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:32,670 Er, you're aware of the CCTV... 164 00:11:32,700 --> 00:11:34,160 Si, si. TV. 165 00:11:34,730 --> 00:11:38,300 Now, you understand where it extends to. 166 00:11:38,330 --> 00:11:41,870 It extends into the kitchen, but the reception is not-a so good. 167 00:11:41,900 --> 00:11:45,300 Oh Jesus! Mario, you know about the CCTV, don't ya? 168 00:11:45,330 --> 00:11:46,830 - Sure. - Good. 169 00:11:46,860 --> 00:11:49,830 It's like CBeebies, but slightly more complicated programmes. 170 00:11:50,900 --> 00:11:53,770 - What? - I'm not sure the Chinese are going to get that reference. 171 00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:57,170 You need to say something like youku or something with international appeal... 172 00:11:57,200 --> 00:11:59,960 - It's pretty universal... - Shut the fuck up the lot of ya! 173 00:12:02,130 --> 00:12:05,030 I will not stand here and be made to look like a prick! 174 00:12:10,400 --> 00:12:11,800 You think I'm joking? 175 00:12:13,700 --> 00:12:14,700 Boss! 176 00:12:15,400 --> 00:12:16,900 Can I suggest we do a montage? 177 00:12:20,200 --> 00:12:21,200 Yes. 178 00:12:21,900 --> 00:12:24,200 Yes. Thank you, Columbina. 179 00:12:24,530 --> 00:12:26,760 Finally, someone talking sense. 180 00:12:28,560 --> 00:12:29,800 You can do the voiceover. 181 00:12:32,400 --> 00:12:36,970 At 3:02, the van, driven by a single security guard, 182 00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:39,700 parks up outside Mugshots Coffee shop. 183 00:12:40,930 --> 00:12:44,300 The guard gets out as usual to order a flat white. 184 00:12:45,800 --> 00:12:47,900 Hortensia is behind him in the queue 185 00:12:47,930 --> 00:12:50,870 and bumps into the guard, creating a distraction. 186 00:12:50,900 --> 00:12:52,460 So I can swap his coffee... 187 00:12:53,100 --> 00:12:54,430 ..for the drugged one. 188 00:12:57,760 --> 00:13:00,970 Meanwhile, Mario and the Captain have closed the road 189 00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:04,630 for an electrical repair, keeping the area free of traffic. 190 00:13:05,860 --> 00:13:07,900 Arlo distracts the driver... 191 00:13:09,460 --> 00:13:13,000 ..while Scaramouche applies the explosives to the top of the van. 192 00:13:16,530 --> 00:13:20,360 The guard takes his first sip of coffee while we get into position. 193 00:13:21,560 --> 00:13:23,100 Then, five seconds later... 194 00:13:39,360 --> 00:13:42,560 You were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off! 195 00:13:42,700 --> 00:13:45,560 Sorry, I've always wanted to say that. Carry on. 196 00:13:46,300 --> 00:13:49,070 Pantalone grabs the keys from the drowsy guard 197 00:13:49,100 --> 00:13:52,100 and takes the briefcase with the diamonds from the van. 198 00:13:53,300 --> 00:13:56,900 Mario and Scaramouche head down the manhole into the sewers. 199 00:13:57,960 --> 00:14:00,100 I pick up the boss in the getaway car. 200 00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:04,700 We all meet back here at 6pm and share the spoils. 201 00:14:07,300 --> 00:14:09,860 See? Piece of piss. Anything from the subplot? 202 00:14:10,130 --> 00:14:12,600 No. I think we're all good on that front, Daddy. 203 00:14:13,760 --> 00:14:15,100 Yeah, all good. 204 00:14:16,400 --> 00:14:17,900 Bene, good. 205 00:14:18,800 --> 00:14:21,300 Right, you've got 20 minutes to get your shit together. 206 00:14:22,560 --> 00:14:25,830 Erm, boss, is it all right if I make a sandwich first? 207 00:14:25,860 --> 00:14:28,500 No! Fuck off! Should've eaten before we got here. 208 00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:34,260 Are you ready for the twist? 209 00:14:35,300 --> 00:14:36,300 There's a good one. 210 00:14:41,160 --> 00:14:43,860 Guv, it's Detective Sergeant Janus. 211 00:14:44,200 --> 00:14:45,630 We're just about to leave the hideaway. 212 00:14:46,300 --> 00:14:47,600 Put all units on standby. 213 00:14:48,760 --> 00:14:51,800 No, I don't think they suspect a thing. 214 00:15:01,780 --> 00:15:02,990 Let's get him sat down. 215 00:15:03,350 --> 00:15:04,740 Did anyone see where the boss went? 216 00:15:04,860 --> 00:15:06,620 I assume he's with Hortensia. 217 00:15:06,650 --> 00:15:08,750 - Why didn't you wait for 'em? - I panic! 218 00:15:08,780 --> 00:15:11,390 There were polices everywhere! I get you a drink. 219 00:15:11,420 --> 00:15:14,600 - No, no! Make me a cheese sandwich. - Caerphilly? 220 00:15:14,630 --> 00:15:16,750 Yeah, use a blunt knife. Go! 221 00:15:19,430 --> 00:15:20,430 Come on. 222 00:15:22,700 --> 00:15:24,390 Oh, fuck. What happened? 223 00:15:24,420 --> 00:15:27,060 It was an ambush. They knew we were coming. 224 00:15:27,380 --> 00:15:29,270 We must have a rat in the group. 225 00:15:30,360 --> 00:15:32,030 - Bob Geldof? - No. 226 00:15:32,060 --> 00:15:34,220 I mean somebody from the police. 227 00:15:34,580 --> 00:15:36,330 - Gordon Sumner? - Who? 228 00:15:36,360 --> 00:15:39,670 - Roger Daltrey? - No, they blew our cover. 229 00:15:39,700 --> 00:15:42,550 A double crosser. Argh! What you doing?! 230 00:15:42,680 --> 00:15:45,110 - Taking your shoe off. You've been shot. - No! 231 00:15:45,150 --> 00:15:47,460 I need a sandwich first. I'm famished! 232 00:15:47,490 --> 00:15:49,670 - Scaramouche, Scaramouche! - * Will you do the... * 233 00:15:49,700 --> 00:15:50,270 - No! - What? 234 00:15:50,300 --> 00:15:52,270 - We're not allowed. - Oh, sorry. 235 00:15:52,300 --> 00:15:53,970 Where's that sandwich?! 236 00:15:54,050 --> 00:15:55,680 There is no cheese! 237 00:15:55,710 --> 00:15:58,670 - I can offer you a beef a-rap. - Yeah, go on. 238 00:15:58,700 --> 00:16:03,540 Yo, yo, I come from a cow I got lots of prize for my bolognese! 239 00:16:06,870 --> 00:16:07,870 I'll give him a hand. 240 00:16:12,300 --> 00:16:14,020 Listen, I got your letter. 241 00:16:14,070 --> 00:16:16,710 - I want you to know I feel exactly the same way. - You do? 242 00:16:16,740 --> 00:16:19,170 I do, yes. The uniform, the moustache. 243 00:16:19,200 --> 00:16:21,850 - Always dreamed of having a daddy like you. - You have? 244 00:16:21,880 --> 00:16:24,610 Look, I've got something down here that means that you and I, 245 00:16:24,640 --> 00:16:27,920 - we could run off together. - Ah, he must mean the explosives. 246 00:16:27,950 --> 00:16:31,930 Mario, I will a-use your bomb, but only when the time is right. 247 00:16:31,960 --> 00:16:35,420 When Senor Pantalone gets here, then we will blow. 248 00:16:35,500 --> 00:16:37,110 - You mean a three-way? - Si, si. 249 00:16:37,140 --> 00:16:40,470 The passage will be tight, but I think we can manage it. 250 00:16:40,590 --> 00:16:42,730 Good God, I'm so hard right now! 251 00:16:49,320 --> 00:16:52,590 We could do with more a-men like a-him in the military. 252 00:16:58,510 --> 00:16:59,510 Pops! 253 00:17:00,430 --> 00:17:02,460 Oh, Mario. Deo gratias. 254 00:17:02,490 --> 00:17:04,470 - Are you unharmed? - I'm fine. Not a scratch on me. 255 00:17:04,500 --> 00:17:06,490 - What happened to you? - We managed to grab the diamonds 256 00:17:06,520 --> 00:17:08,860 before the shooting started and made a run for it. 257 00:17:09,330 --> 00:17:10,500 How's Arlo? 258 00:17:10,620 --> 00:17:13,210 Not good. Pops, you'd better have a look at him. 259 00:17:13,240 --> 00:17:16,050 All right. But I don't have all my kit with me 260 00:17:16,080 --> 00:17:18,420 and you know I'm not good with the sight of bloo... 261 00:17:24,380 --> 00:17:26,420 Bit of a drawback for a doctor. 262 00:17:26,450 --> 00:17:27,450 Sorry. 263 00:17:35,770 --> 00:17:36,770 How are you feeling? 264 00:17:37,370 --> 00:17:38,370 Hungry. 265 00:17:39,870 --> 00:17:41,780 You're always hungry. 266 00:17:42,180 --> 00:17:43,560 How's your foot? 267 00:17:43,630 --> 00:17:46,950 Well, the first little piggy's still at the market, 268 00:17:47,170 --> 00:17:49,990 but I think all the other little piggy's have pissed off. 269 00:17:50,730 --> 00:17:53,710 I'm not going to get that trial for Crystal Palace now, am I? 270 00:17:53,980 --> 00:17:56,140 I'm sure Millwall would take you. 271 00:17:57,260 --> 00:17:58,450 What happened? 272 00:17:58,970 --> 00:18:00,230 It's a blur. 273 00:18:00,580 --> 00:18:02,650 I was doing my distracting. 274 00:18:02,690 --> 00:18:06,040 The guard comes back with his coffee, and, suddenly, I turn around 275 00:18:06,070 --> 00:18:08,410 and there's two dozen coppers behind me. 276 00:18:08,560 --> 00:18:10,970 I think I shot myself in the foot. 277 00:18:11,160 --> 00:18:13,160 I'm sure it wasn't your fault. 278 00:18:13,650 --> 00:18:17,150 No, I mean, I literally shot myself in the foot. 279 00:18:17,180 --> 00:18:19,370 I didn't realise the safety was off. 280 00:18:19,460 --> 00:18:21,240 I'm such an idiot! 281 00:18:21,490 --> 00:18:24,960 - I'm scared, Collie! - You'll live. 282 00:18:25,140 --> 00:18:26,500 How do you know? 283 00:18:27,620 --> 00:18:30,930 Because I turned over two pages of the script at once. 284 00:18:33,720 --> 00:18:36,290 Ah, thank you. I'm fine now. 285 00:18:38,120 --> 00:18:43,990 Mario, the gems are in here, but the servant girl has the key in her bumbag. 286 00:18:44,020 --> 00:18:46,640 You'll need to extricate it from her post-haste 287 00:18:46,670 --> 00:18:48,530 to facilitate the substitution. 288 00:18:48,560 --> 00:18:49,680 How am I supposed to do that? 289 00:18:49,710 --> 00:18:53,470 Well, flirt with her a little. Vanquish her with your virility. 290 00:18:53,500 --> 00:18:56,520 Then see if you can force your fingers into her fanny pack. 291 00:18:56,730 --> 00:18:59,870 Quickly! We need this money, Mario. 292 00:18:59,900 --> 00:19:01,250 Tempus fugit! 293 00:19:05,040 --> 00:19:06,730 How is the pat-it-ient? 294 00:19:07,660 --> 00:19:11,150 - Sorry? - Young Arlokino, he has a very bad injury. 295 00:19:11,180 --> 00:19:13,630 Oh, er, I haven't examined him yet. 296 00:19:13,800 --> 00:19:16,230 To be honest, Captain, I'm a little haemophobic. 297 00:19:16,260 --> 00:19:19,300 Oh, do not worry. I do not think he is a Queen Mary. 298 00:19:19,330 --> 00:19:22,270 Erm, I'm making a sandwich, would you like a-one? 299 00:19:27,050 --> 00:19:28,060 Oh, dear. 300 00:19:29,220 --> 00:19:30,620 It's OK, it's OK. 301 00:19:32,820 --> 00:19:34,060 It's OK. 302 00:19:34,180 --> 00:19:36,710 Did you see the Master and Hortensia? 303 00:19:36,820 --> 00:19:39,160 No. I was inside the van. 304 00:19:39,190 --> 00:19:42,360 - I heard him, though. - He thinks we were betrayed. 305 00:19:42,420 --> 00:19:44,190 Someone ratted us out. 306 00:19:44,500 --> 00:19:46,440 - Does he know who? - No. 307 00:19:46,500 --> 00:19:49,420 He said Hortensia had been acting all weird recently. 308 00:19:49,510 --> 00:19:50,920 Very secretive. 309 00:19:50,950 --> 00:19:53,150 That's because she doesn't want to marry Scaramouche. 310 00:19:53,180 --> 00:19:55,060 She's planning on running away with... 311 00:19:57,050 --> 00:19:58,170 Hey, babe. 312 00:19:59,080 --> 00:20:00,340 Would you have an inhaler? 313 00:20:00,370 --> 00:20:01,770 Because you are just taking my breath... 314 00:20:01,800 --> 00:20:02,800 Yeah. 315 00:20:02,840 --> 00:20:04,330 I've got one in here. 316 00:20:04,720 --> 00:20:07,080 Just put it back when you're finished. I'll leave the zip open. 317 00:20:07,110 --> 00:20:08,110 Thanks. 318 00:20:09,750 --> 00:20:10,750 It's ok. 319 00:20:13,650 --> 00:20:14,750 That was easy. 320 00:20:20,540 --> 00:20:22,560 Baby, what're you doing to my Pops? 321 00:20:22,750 --> 00:20:24,560 I'm trying to make him come to. 322 00:20:24,590 --> 00:20:26,200 You're going about it in a very funny way. 323 00:20:26,230 --> 00:20:28,150 Go find the smelling salts. They're in his bag. 324 00:21:46,530 --> 00:21:47,530 What happened? 325 00:21:49,530 --> 00:21:52,130 She's gone - forever. 326 00:21:52,320 --> 00:21:54,990 - Are you sure? - I know when one is dead, and when one lives! 327 00:21:55,020 --> 00:21:56,020 Lear. 328 00:21:56,140 --> 00:21:57,140 It's true. 329 00:21:57,550 --> 00:22:00,080 That spineless shit Scaramouche left us right there 330 00:22:00,110 --> 00:22:01,870 in the middle of the fucking feds! 331 00:22:02,940 --> 00:22:04,430 We were like sitting ducks. 332 00:22:05,170 --> 00:22:06,170 Where is he? 333 00:22:06,460 --> 00:22:09,020 I'll slice the nose right off his craven face! 334 00:22:09,050 --> 00:22:11,980 - Where is he?! - He went to get some smelling salts for my Pops. 335 00:22:13,410 --> 00:22:15,250 Jesus, what a shitshow. 336 00:22:17,480 --> 00:22:20,890 Columbina, come here. 337 00:22:20,920 --> 00:22:22,740 You're the only one I trust. 338 00:22:28,360 --> 00:22:29,580 You tell me. 339 00:22:32,860 --> 00:22:34,610 Who's the snake here, eh? 340 00:22:35,970 --> 00:22:36,930 Who? 341 00:22:36,960 --> 00:22:38,670 Who tipped off the Old Bill? 342 00:22:39,170 --> 00:22:40,220 I dunno, er... 343 00:22:41,580 --> 00:22:42,890 Maybe it was, erm... 344 00:23:04,750 --> 00:23:06,150 You're with me now. 345 00:23:07,540 --> 00:23:10,240 Boss, what did you do that for? 346 00:23:10,270 --> 00:23:11,970 She's an undercover copper. 347 00:23:12,190 --> 00:23:13,180 She's wearing a wire. 348 00:23:13,210 --> 00:23:16,030 - Check it out if you don't believe me. - How did you know? 349 00:23:16,420 --> 00:23:19,020 Hortensia saw her fiddling with it in the bogs. 350 00:23:19,050 --> 00:23:21,170 I should've known she was too good to be true. 351 00:23:21,580 --> 00:23:24,110 No, not...not Collie. I...I don't believe it. 352 00:23:24,140 --> 00:23:28,420 Yeah. By my estimates, we have less than five minutes before the Filth get here. 353 00:23:28,950 --> 00:23:30,590 Where's that coward? 354 00:23:30,620 --> 00:23:33,010 Scaramouche? Scaramouche! 355 00:23:33,040 --> 00:23:36,320 ? Will you do the... ? Oh, shit! 356 00:23:42,140 --> 00:23:45,110 See what you've done? To your own intended? 357 00:23:45,140 --> 00:23:46,860 Hortensia... 358 00:23:48,470 --> 00:23:50,950 Oh, my Hortensia! 359 00:23:51,400 --> 00:23:55,470 I wished to woo you, but now my woo has turned to woe. 360 00:23:55,500 --> 00:23:59,380 I beg that I could a-take your place up in heaven! 361 00:24:00,250 --> 00:24:01,430 That can be arranged. 362 00:24:01,460 --> 00:24:03,240 Baby, why are you talking like this? 363 00:24:03,270 --> 00:24:04,820 I thought you had eyes only for me. 364 00:24:04,850 --> 00:24:06,330 For you? What you on about? 365 00:24:06,360 --> 00:24:08,440 He wrote me a letter. The subplot. 366 00:24:08,470 --> 00:24:09,870 Arlokino gave it to me. 367 00:24:14,310 --> 00:24:15,590 This is my daughter's hand. 368 00:24:15,620 --> 00:24:19,120 No, that is a letter. This is your daughter's hand! 369 00:24:19,780 --> 00:24:22,900 She was going to elope with a blockhead like you?! 370 00:24:22,930 --> 00:24:24,510 What are you talking about? I barely knew her. 371 00:24:24,540 --> 00:24:27,680 You two a-timing floozy! Take a-that! 372 00:24:27,890 --> 00:24:29,390 It wasn't him! 373 00:24:33,460 --> 00:24:34,670 It was me. 374 00:24:36,290 --> 00:24:39,360 Horsey and I have been having an affair for several months. 375 00:24:39,670 --> 00:24:41,530 It was an amour fou. 376 00:24:42,100 --> 00:24:44,860 It started on that business trip we took to Italy. 377 00:24:45,220 --> 00:24:46,250 Genoa? 378 00:24:46,650 --> 00:24:48,650 Yes, since she was a little girl. 379 00:24:49,750 --> 00:24:52,730 We flew back together to the United States. 380 00:24:52,760 --> 00:24:55,520 - Chicago? - No, she was a passenger. 381 00:24:56,230 --> 00:24:59,790 And, when we landed at the airport, I can't remember which one... 382 00:24:59,820 --> 00:25:01,160 Alaska? 383 00:25:01,190 --> 00:25:03,090 There's no point now. She's dead. 384 00:25:03,740 --> 00:25:07,850 We hatched this plan to steal the diamonds from you 385 00:25:08,380 --> 00:25:10,560 and run away together to the Caribbean. 386 00:25:11,560 --> 00:25:13,560 Trinidad and Tobago? 387 00:25:14,130 --> 00:25:15,270 Yes. 388 00:25:16,220 --> 00:25:18,500 But now it seems it was all for nought. 389 00:25:18,630 --> 00:25:23,620 We have been caught in flagrante delicto, and my beloved is dead. 390 00:25:24,630 --> 00:25:26,940 Mea culpa, gentle one. 391 00:25:31,220 --> 00:25:32,770 Well, maybe we can get back to the A plot now 392 00:25:32,800 --> 00:25:34,080 we've had this little diversion. 393 00:25:34,110 --> 00:25:35,990 I need you to hand over that case. 394 00:25:36,020 --> 00:25:38,090 No, Pantalone. 395 00:25:38,480 --> 00:25:39,950 - I won't do it. - Pops... 396 00:25:39,980 --> 00:25:42,140 These diamonds are all my son and I have. 397 00:25:42,170 --> 00:25:44,890 They will ensure our safe passage out of here. 398 00:25:44,920 --> 00:25:46,450 Quid pro quo, et cetera. 399 00:25:46,480 --> 00:25:49,080 I...I won't waste you here, Doc. 400 00:25:49,110 --> 00:25:53,170 I'll not shit on my own doorstep, but I need you to hand me the fucking ice! 401 00:25:53,200 --> 00:25:54,750 It's fine. Do it. 402 00:25:54,780 --> 00:25:56,130 Nil desperandum, Mario. 403 00:25:56,160 --> 00:25:58,360 I can handle the negotiation. 404 00:25:59,070 --> 00:26:00,720 This is not a negotiation. 405 00:26:01,100 --> 00:26:02,100 Stop. 406 00:26:03,190 --> 00:26:06,190 You lay a finger on him and I'll carpet the floor with your brains. 407 00:26:06,490 --> 00:26:07,980 It's a good thing we're not using your brains. 408 00:26:08,010 --> 00:26:09,900 There'd be barely enough for a fucking doormat. 409 00:26:10,020 --> 00:26:11,340 Scaramouche! 410 00:26:11,710 --> 00:26:14,620 - Tame this little bitch of yours, will ya? - Please. 411 00:26:15,410 --> 00:26:20,340 Your family jewels belong in Senor Pantalone's hands, not in your Papa's. 412 00:26:20,430 --> 00:26:22,220 Let us not come to blows. 413 00:26:22,250 --> 00:26:24,260 Oh, Captain, my Captain. 414 00:26:24,320 --> 00:26:28,420 I've dreamed of having your weapon in my face, but not like this. 415 00:26:28,870 --> 00:26:30,640 Et tu, Scaramouche. 416 00:26:30,670 --> 00:26:31,790 Very well. 417 00:26:31,820 --> 00:26:33,870 Aut neca aut necare. 418 00:26:34,700 --> 00:26:36,500 Do or die. 419 00:26:36,700 --> 00:26:38,470 Give me the case! 420 00:26:38,610 --> 00:26:40,640 - Give it to him, Pops. - Are you sure? 421 00:26:40,670 --> 00:26:41,990 Yes, let him have it! 422 00:26:49,370 --> 00:26:53,350 Well, Arlo, this looks like arrivederci. 423 00:26:56,260 --> 00:27:01,520 I would take you with me, but, as you can see, got me hands full. 424 00:27:02,530 --> 00:27:04,900 There's a boat out the back if you want to take your chance on the river. 425 00:27:04,970 --> 00:27:07,460 I've got an appointment with my fence. 426 00:27:07,490 --> 00:27:09,830 Boss, can you do me a favour before you go? 427 00:27:11,040 --> 00:27:12,040 What's that? 428 00:27:12,390 --> 00:27:14,920 Can you make me a sandwich? I'm starved! 429 00:27:15,690 --> 00:27:16,820 Yeah, here y'are. 430 00:27:17,660 --> 00:27:18,670 Help yourself. 431 00:27:20,890 --> 00:27:21,890 Ta-ta! 432 00:27:32,300 --> 00:27:34,220 Come on. Get up, he's gone! 433 00:27:34,970 --> 00:27:36,580 Come on! Collie! 434 00:27:37,030 --> 00:27:38,060 Come on, girl! 435 00:27:39,300 --> 00:27:40,700 You read the script. 436 00:27:42,790 --> 00:27:44,760 Well, none of this has been real, has it? 437 00:28:06,780 --> 00:28:08,140 After all that, 438 00:28:09,300 --> 00:28:10,620 there's nothing left. 439 00:28:11,510 --> 00:28:13,270 Just a hot and spicy whip 440 00:28:14,280 --> 00:28:16,320 and a bag of clear mints. 441 00:28:29,520 --> 00:28:31,760 Well, fuck my old boots! 442 00:28:32,670 --> 00:28:36,150 I am going to be able to feed myself after all. 443 00:28:42,670 --> 00:28:44,140 Are you coming, Echo? 444 00:28:54,110 --> 00:28:55,720 I thought you'd never ask! 445 00:28:55,770 --> 00:29:00,320 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 34387

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