Original subtitles

Previously on "Good Girls"...

I figured out who we should help.

I got their daughter's kidney.

- How about a car? - Pardon?

What did the specialist say?

Boy's a damn genius.

No.

- Chris. - Kevin.

- So we'll go to your place. - We already did that.

You live in your car.

Where's Ben?

He plays lacrosse?

He just knows you wouldn't really be into it.

His whole new secret, fancy life?

So the last time you were cash-heavy, things got tricky.

You need a system.

Hot tubs: any idiot can sell them.

I just don't want him involved.

- Okay. - There's a pattern here.

His car dealership got busted too.

- Put a tail on this guy. - Why is it the guy?

What if we pay someone to blow his brains out?

Move me up on your schedule.

For you. Have dinner with me.

Hi there. Welcome to The Baby Porcupine.

If someone wanted something special printed,

you would draw it.

- He said he'd let me go. - He won't.

Wait. You need all of us.

Not all of you.

She just laid there,

right on the ground,

fight just drained from her,

twitching and drooling like some kind of animal

that got hit by a car or something.

Whole thing went down right in front of me.

Ringside seats, huh?

Saw the whole thing.

Can anyone verify that?

You can check the Kiss Cam thing if you want.

You sure you don't want a lawyer here?

Nah.

You don't find it coincidental?

What's that?

That both the bullets in Lucy's head

matched the ones in the other bodies?

I don't know any Lucy.

And that the other bodies were identified

as Six Mile gang members.

Yeah, I got no beef with them.

Yeah, not anymore.

Hey, one more thing.

How'd you get these?

Called in a favor.

I wanna call in a few more.

Yeah.

Now, that's what you call a statement piece.

And I think we all know what it says.

What does it say?

He wants more than dinner.

Ew.

It's the thought that counts.

Ew!

What did you say?

I said I'd check my schedule.

That's not a no.

We need him to do this job.

Or maybe we get lucky

and they figure out that it was gang friend who popped Lucy.

If we pop him, all of this goes away.

Maybe it's just dinner.

Sure.

If they're serving vagina.

What's for dinner?

Uh, I thought we'd grill.

Sounds good.

Hey, can I talk to you real quick?

Big Kahuna, they wanna meet with us.

That's a good thing?

Yeah.

Kahuna Brand Spas.

They pretty much invented hydrotherapy.

I mean, they're in all the fancy resorts.

So why us?

They heard our sales were through the roof.

- Well, that's all you. - No.

I wouldn't be able to sell 'em

if you didn't get 'em so cheap from the wholesalers.

Or you're an animal.

We make a good team.

They make you pay for books?

That's like going to Outback and bringing your own steak.

They said I need a laptop too.

No fair.

- And an iPad. - What?

All right, if he gets one, I get one.

So what exactly does this school do to provide

for all the money that we been dishing out?

Oh, you mean the money we don't have.

Yeah. All that money.

- The building. - Okay, great.

So what does a little boy need an iPad for anyway?

- Coding. - Oh, wow, hey.

It's been a minute. Come on in.

Uh, company.

Hey!

- There she is. - Oh, my goodness.

- Excuse me. - Look at you.

Hey.

- What a surprise. - Yeah.

We should've called first.

Well, we tried, but, uh, we ran out of minutes.

Could've texted.

We gotta get that, uh, feature on the next one.

So, uh, what brings you guys to town?

We got home

from our, uh, last visit and found a note

- from the landlord... - Very sweet man.

Yeah, gave us a whole week to clear out our belongings.

Yeah, he didn't need to do that.

Yeah. But what is that saying?

Every sunset is an opportunity to reset.

Love that.

We're staying with our friend's daughter

who works at the Denny's.

Mm, yeah.

Uh, set up a couple cots in the garage,

a little, uh, kerosene heater.

We are snug as a bug in a rug!

But, uh, why Detroit?

Uh...

we don't have any family, uh, to speak of in Madison.

Oh. So who do you have here?

You all.

Uh, home is where the heart is.

Hmm.

What's new with you, little guy?

I'm getting an iPad.

Oh, so what about dinner? How about some dinner?

- Oh, we couldn't possibly. - No.

We already ate, uh, yesterday.

I got your fave mashed potatoes.

Well, if you're gonna twist my arm.

- Aww. - Sure.

May I sit right here next to you?

Just as delicious as always.

- Hey. - Hi.

- School still suck? - Always.

Maybe I'll, um, come see for myself.

Huh?

What happens at these things, anyway?

Stupid rich parents bid on stupid rich stuff

for the school.

Can't wait.

You're not rich.

But I'm stupid.

So come.

Sweet!

You'll hate it, though.

Well, I wanna meet the other parents.

You'll hate them even more.

Well, how's the food?

Super tiny 'cause none of the moms eat.

You'll house a pizza after.

Really selling it hard here.

It's just a bunch of people we'd totally make fun of,

like, who do Pilates and would've played lacrosse.

What's so wrong with lacrosse?

Nothing if you're lame.

Are we out of salsa?

Maybe, uh...

maybe I'll skip it, then.

Up to you.

Why are you even doing this?

I can't arrest someone on a hunch.

It's her.

Why, 'cause she's good at crafting?

Or 'cause she'd never be friends

with you in high school.

She works at a paper store.

His name is all over it.

Come to think of it, I think the boots

are a little too much.

You want it to be her?

Yes.

Then get me something to convince a DA.

Save the boots for later.

You'll notice that we are all about the flow

here at Boland Bubbles.

Feng shui.

Yeah, the, uh, accessories...

your filters, chemicals, your pool toys...

are all in the back.

Like the milk in the grocery store.

So you have to move through the whole place

to get to the small stuff.

So when it's time to upgrade to the big stuff...

Say, a Kahuna spa.

The seed is already planted.

Well, Kahuna Spas

would love to be a part of the ride.

Y'all do this for everybody?

I gotta tell you, uh,

we have been so nervous.

We're just huge fans of your brand.

Oh, well, let's take a look at those books

and see if we can't work out an arrangement.

Books?

Well, we don't really have a presence here in Michigan.

You'd be the first, so we just wanna make sure you can handle

the kind of volume we'd expect.

We can get you the books. No problem.

Right?

Yeah, not here right now.

But we can get 'em.

Yeah. It'll take a sec.

But then they're all yours.

You do shots?

Like, right now?

You seem like someone

who knows how to have a good time.

Tell your liver I apologize in advance.

Hmm.

Is that a good "hmm" or a bad "hmm"?

Good "hmm."

Oh. Good.

Too good.

What do you mean, "too good"?

You bitches got too much cash flow.

How is that not a good thing?

Accounts don't match up with your sales.

Profits are more than your revenue.

So I'll make it look like we're selling more.

That's impossible.

Why?

'Cause it already says you're selling

five times the national average.

Go, Deansie.

It's not Deansie.

So how do I make it look more legit?

You came to the right place.

Let you in on some of my, uh, mad money magic.

Kind of like a, uh, black magic, if you will,

like a dark art...

- All right. - All right, uh...

kick things off with something called smurfing.

While this Kahuna is checking out your business,

you put your bread in someone else's account.

Like whose?

Friend, family, colleagues,

anyone who wants to make a buck.

And before you get any ideas, I am none of the above.

We're the only other sketchy people we know.

No sweat. Then there's layering.

Open a bunch of offshore accounts but mini ones.

Only put in enough so you don't trigger the taxman.

Then there's something called smurf layering.

We don't have time for any of this.

You girls like to shop?

You're gonna get yourselves a corporate debit card.

We'll balance your books by increasing your expenses...

And how many rooms are we doing?

All of 'em.

Furniture, electronics...

What can I set you up with today?

I think I'ma be setting you up, Todd.

Even charitable donations.

Buy right, they don't look twice.

What kind of event is it?

Like "Cinderella,"

only the bitch sisters are private school parents

and the ball is a fundraiser.

Hey. Look who dropped by.

- Hey. - Again.

Oh.

Do some damage at the Apple Store?

Yeah.

It's just some school supplies.

Where's he go to school, NASA?

Oh.

Doesn't do email, but, uh...

Jenny and I wanted to give y'all something.

- Huh. - A pocket plum.

No, did you ever hear the one about the fig tree?

It was Heather's favorite.

Well, I guess we gotta get up on our fig tree stories.

Farmer had a tree full of figs

till everyone walking by helps themselves,

thinking, you know, "What can it hurt?

It's just one."

Where are y'all from again?

You see where this is going.

Okay.

Pretty soon, tree is plucked dry.

Now nobody has figs.

The farmer can't believe it

'cause all they had to do was take their fig,

plant the seeds, and they have their own tree.

But instead, they just took,

and they took,

and they took...

And they took.

We're supposed to plant a fig now?

What the hell did you buy?

This is Detroit, not Mesopotamia.

Coming up in here like Steve Jobs.

You could've given me a heads-up.

Like I was gonna pull out

my next-generation iPhone in front of him.

And then you invite him to dinner.

Again!

He asked!

You know what that means.

We're the tree.

They're gonna shake us dry.

What's their last name again?

Haskins. Why?

I'm gonna put Mike on these fools, get a background check.

Yeah, man.

No, no. It's all good.

Listen, got something quick for you.

Oh. Uh...

yeah, she's here.

Okay. Bye.

He wants me to FaceTime him.

He just got some plugs and wants you to take a look.

- Are you serious? - Yes.

Just say they look good.

We need him to do this quick.

Public street, bro.

It's me.

What's up, girl?

Can I get you a drink?

Uh, got a beer?

Yeah, not while the keys are in the ignition.

Right.

Red Bull?

I'm okay.

So listen, uh, there's this thing at my kid's school.

And basically, I don't wanna show up

and look like some pathetic old

divorced single parent with no life.

So I...

You want me to be your date?

I was thinking more like a wingman.

Ah.

Already asked the guy you're into?

No.

Cool.

He got engaged.

Yeah.

You know, I would but...

I'm... I'm busy.

Excuse me? Doing what?

I got the guy across the street's Hulu.

Gonna binge the new season of "The Bachelor."

Are you being serious?

Uh, yeah. Hannah B.'s back.

He picks Hannah Ann. Okay?

I am asking you for a favor here.

Well, see, that's the problem.

I don't wanna be your favor anymore.

Oh.

Will you accept this rose?

Always.

You know, I was gonna use this for toilet paper.

You're gonna need to wear something clean.

That's... that's not a problem.

Got, uh...

Mm, I think... yeah, there's a nice shirt under you.

What do you think?

Very Tommy Bahama.

Yeah, well, I thought eventually we would do,

like, an island lounge kind of thing at the store,

so we could feel it out first.

Hmm. How'd you pay for it?

It's a tax write-off.

Yeah, but how?

What do you mean how?

It's just... I mean, it's a lot of stuff.

Yeah, but then if we use it for the business,

we get a break on our taxes.

I know how a write-off works.

Okay.

How are those books coming?

Kahuna keeps asking.

Yeah, there's a lot to account for.

I just don't want it to look like

we're trying to hide stuff, you know?

Are we?

Of course not.

You know, I could... I could help you.

- I just have a whole system. - You could teach me.

I know, but it's complicated.

You know, I have been doing this a little longer than you.

How could I forget? We almost lost our home.

I just wanna get 'em right.

Yeah. Okay.

You wanna see the hammocks in the boys' room?

Sure.

What are you doing?

Just thinking.

Do you have to do it here?

You'd rather I do it inside?

No.

How's Dean?

What do you want?

I need you to hold something for me.

No, thank you.

Yeah, I wasn't asking.

Well, the last time I did that,

I got tied to a murder, so...

What's your routing number?

For what?

- For our business. - Why?

I need to move some funds around.

Now?

Still drawing some heat

over that little coworker of yours.

Are you smurfing me?

Where'd you hear that?

Oh, I know all about it.

And I'd love to help you smurf me,

but I can't afford to be smurfed right now

because I am also drawing some heat.

Oh, yeah? From who?

From this hot tub guy!

Routing number.

No.

- Number. - Not a chance.

Ready whenever you are.

How's Thursday for dinner?

All right, parents, next we have a top-of-the line

robot vacuum that retails for $875.

How did you two meet again?

Mm, mm.

We were both on the freeway, right?

- By the freeway... - We ran into each other.

- At synagogue. - Uh, what?

- No, weren't we on the side... - No.

Wait, you're Jewish?

- No. - Yes.

She's not.

I am.

Mazel tov.

$200 in the back. Do I hear $250?

Think about that new tennis court, people.

- Right here. - $250.

- Oh. Mmm. - Do I hear $300?

- $300, anyone? - Mmm. Mm-hmm.

Mmm.

You can go back as many times as you want.

I'm gonna cruise through on the way out.

- Mm. - Stock up on some shrimps.

Excuse me. Um, are you a dog walker?

I used to be. Could be again.

What kind of hound you got?

- You tell me. - Sorry?

Honey, I found the guy who stole Oatmeal.

Oh, yeah. The, uh... the chihuahua.

- Stole? - Misplaced.

- Who is this loser? - Okay, okay.

Come on, man. Let's just take a walk.

Your dick dog bit me.

Do not call his dog a dick.

Well, maybe I let him go

so he wouldn't have to live with a dick like you.

That's better.

$400? Do I hear $400?

I've got $400 from St. Anne's

very own Sister Mary Margaret.

Do I hear...

$1,000.

Oh. We're only on, uh...

$1,000.

Wow. $1,000 to...

Ben's mom.

Ben's mom.

- And we're okay. - Oh!

Oh, my gosh.

You do not mess around.

Work hard. Play harder.

So is your wife cool with you being gone so much?

What about you?

Must be hard having to answer to your lady all day.

I don't answer to my lady.

She just kind of helps out.

Oh, it seems like she does a little more than that.

Oh, yeah. I mean, yeah.

She makes me look good.

Yeah, I think the customers like to know

it's a family-owned business,

but I mean, I call all the shots.

Shots. Speaking of.

Oh, yeah. Let's fire that up.

I knew you wore the pants, man.

Yeah.

I mean, I make all the decisions.

Nice.

Which is why you can trust that Big Kahuna brand

is in the right hands.

Thank you.

So how come it's taking so long to get those books?

Do I hear $750 for a prime St. Anne's parking spot?

Never circle the neighborhood again at pickup.

$750.

Do I hear $775? $775?

$1,000.

Sold to Ben's mom.

$1,000.

Hey. What are you doing?

Supporting St. Anne's.

You know you're not winning the stuff, Annie.

You have to pay for it.

Really? Gee, thanks.

Yeah. With money.

Ooh, portable projector.

- There's no layaway plan. - Got it.

And I'm not covering it.

What is your problem?

- Is it the homeless guy? - What?

Is he, like, making you sell drugs or something?

No, he's not like that. He's actually really...

He stole a dog, Annie.

- Misplaced. - All right.

Well, you're throwing around money like a Saudi princess.

Something's up.

I'm just trying to have fun,

like every other parent here.

Six days, five nights,

all expenses paid at Bermuda's Horseshoe Bay.

You'd tell me if you were in trouble, right?

How are my finances any of your business?

Because you have no finances.

I have $6,000.

Do I hear $6,500?

- $6,500. - $6,500.

Do I hear $7,000?

$10,000.

Wow.

Ben's mom. Again!

What?

Daddy's dead.

Oh, my God.

Ugh.

Oh.

Spinning won't stop.

Oh.

How late did you stay out?

I'm pretty sure I'm gonna puke again.

Why would you get so drunk?

Oh. It's... it's not all I got.

- Here, drink. - Ugh.

Drink.

Dave wanted to go back to the store

and wet test the competition.

Where's the aspirin?

I got the account.

How?

Boland charm

and 45 car bombs.

That's great!

I mean,

I also had to give him the books.

- What? - Don't worry.

It's... I mean, he said they look great.

We're in the Kahuna family.

How's that quad jet treating you?

What do you want?

I need you to get something back for me.

Nah, I'm not interested.

This one's on all of us.

You have to pay down your tab first.

Someone took the books.

I'll need an address.

Southfield Inn.

And to be clear...

I just need the books.

I won't kill him.

It'll just feel like I did.

- What's that? - Mm.

That is Larry, our new cleaning lad.

Huh?

Come here, Larry. Come here.

What are you doing?

I'm feeding him. Good job!

Look at that. Good boy.

Huh?

We'll never touch a broom again.

We don't own a broom.

Oh, and check this out. Check this out.

Okay.

"Hydronic heated towel warmer.

Wrap yourself in terrycloth heaven."

Can it make our water not run brown?

And for a bonus, Annie,

why don't you tell him what he's won?

Benjamin Marks, you are going

on a six-day, five-night trip

to beautiful Bermuda!

Do you even know where this is?

Somewhere sunny. We could rent a cabana.

We could charter a boat, swim with sharks.

Okay, or we could just, you know,

grab a pic for the 'Gram and then jump back on the boat.

How'd you pay for all of this?

How are you not more excited?

I'd be excited about a car

that doesn't have a hole in the floor.

Right.

A microwave that doesn't set food on fire.

Well, sure. Yeah, but...

Oh, I know. A house.

Hey, I did all of this for you.

Yeah, right.

Well, what is that supposed to mean?

You did it to show off!

That's not true.

Stop trying to be them.

Okay, okay.

Sorry, Mr. Lacrosse Midfielder.

I didn't want to tell you.

'Cause you didn't want your cool, fancy new friends

to know about your broke-ass mom, right?

No, because when I mentioned joining the team once,

you called them douchebags and date rapers.

I meant college lacrosse.

And, what, you want me to have friends over

when there's birds in the bathroom

and homeless boyfriends on the curb?

I've been working on all of that.

Yeah, by going to a therapist that you want to bone.

- That's not fair. - It's true.

You make fun of everyone,

but no one's life's a bigger joke than yours.

- Hey, where are you going? - Dad's!

Not now, Larry.

No, thank you.

Why not?

- Because I don't like them. - Why not?

I don't know.

I... they're too bitter.

Now try.

Hmm?

Salt pulls out the essence.

Pink Himalayan's best.

Adds a subtle mineral flavor.

And the butter, always European.

It's higher fat, so it's richer,

creamier, cuts the bitterness.

Without all the elements working together,

it's just a radish,

but when it's prepared thoughtfully...

a symphony.

I just need the job done.

What's the hurry?

He's making my life hell.

What'll it be when he's gone?

Normal.

The, uh, black truffle pan-seared salmon.

Thank you.

And the beef carpaccio with braised endive.

Enjoy.

My son plays bantam hockey.

Mine does travel.

He used to get in fights on the ice.

If he started it, I would punish him.

I would take away his video games,

whatever.

After I got into my current line of work,

I just stopped.

Why should he play by some arbitrary rule

when the world doesn't?

Because there's still right and wrong.

Then why do you do what you do?

Because I have to.

Because you want to.

You don't know my situation.

I know what it feels like to cross a line

you never thought you'd cross.

And so you move that line.

Soon enough,

you don't know where it's supposed to be.

What's your point?

You wouldn't know normal if it sat on your face.

Now, what's wrong with your salmon?

It's just a little rare.

You asked for it cooked through, didn't you?

It's all right.

Excuse me a minute.

You really didn't have to do this.

It is amazing what this woman can do

with a few cans of soup, right?

Topped it off with some bread crumbs.

Carl likes it crunchy.

Mmm. Who doesn't?

Doesn't quite live up to your meal.

Uh, so we are obviously

in a unique, uh, situation here.

Uh...

You can say that again.

And instead of beating around the bush,

figured we'd set up some kind

of financial arrangement.

Okay, here it comes.

It is never easy to talk about money.

Oh, ain't that the truth?

So how about we don't?

Uh, I'm afraid that

that is the whole reason we are here.

When you gave us that car...

Like it was no problem.

It kind of got me and Carl thinking.

I'm sorry. I gotta stop you right here.

Something bad happened to your family, but guess what.

Bad things happen.

You don't get a fair shake just because you're a good person.

Some people get lucky,

and some people just keep drawing

that same damn short straw,

so let me be clear.

Your life is not our fault.

We don't owe you a thing.

Believe me, every day, we look in the mirror

and hate ourselves for a bunch of reasons.

But our daughter living and breathing

isn't one of them.

And what's this?

$87.

For what?

Carl didn't feel right accepting the car.

I wanted to set up a monthly plan.

Wish it could be more,

but, uh, people aren't as into

buying oranges off the exit ramp

as they used to be.

So what kind of bread crumbs you say these were?

Hey, what's going on?

He's making you a new salmon.

It's really not...

Necessary.

It's my pleasure.

How rare was the salmon?

I mean, it wasn't to my liking,

but it doesn't mean he should have his face bashed in.

Did he actually order radishes?

I don't know. They just showed up.

That is some serial killer behavior.

Hey, hey.

We need those books back.

- We need our souls back. - That's rich.

But you're perfectly willing to smoke gang friend?

The hot tub guy has nothing to do with it.

So, what, we're just gonna let the feds come

and kick down our door?

He doesn't deserve this!

Where are we supposed to draw the line?

I don't know.

That's the problem.

- Yeah. - Hey.

Do you have a sec?

What up?

Have you done that thing yet?

Just got their background check.

Oh, God.

Clean as a whistle.

Really?

No priors, felonies, misdemeanors,

warrants, complaints.

Okay.

Not even a damn parking ticket.

So why the face?

One traffic accident.

The daughter?

Happened the day after baby girl got her kidney.

What?

It's not them.

It never was.

How?

Maybe Sara...

screwed up the dates in that organ donor group.

Hmm.

So...

you want to make the call?

Haven't they lost enough?

Hmm.

Eh.

They were looking forward to Sara's recital next week.

I can make the potatoes again.

Carl loves those.

That man loves anything free.

What's this?

- Dryer lint. - Gross.

Forensics found a crazy percentage

of starch, linen, and cotton.

So?

She literally launders her money at home,

in her dryer.

This is just this week's.

How do you know it's not him?

Do you know how to clean the lint trap on your dryer?

I can't believe we hooked the Kahuna.

You did it, Dean.

It's all gonna happen for us now.

Mm.

Good evening, gentlemen.

Good evening, folks.

I'm sorry.

What do you mean you're sorry?

Wait, what's going on?

- Dean Boland? - Yeah?

Mr. Boland, you're under arrest.

Dean, I'll explain everything.

What am I under arrest for?

You've got the wrong person.

Sucks.

DA is dry-clean only.

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