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1
00:00:12,929 --> 00:00:14,309
[dramatic hip-hop music]
2
00:00:14,347 --> 00:00:15,677
- Take that, take that
3
00:00:15,724 --> 00:00:18,354
4
00:00:18,393 --> 00:00:20,693
- [dreamily]
Welcome to Wickie's world!
5
00:00:20,729 --> 00:00:23,269
No shoes, bare feet,
or socks, please.
6
00:00:23,314 --> 00:00:24,734
I always wanted
to live on a cliff,
7
00:00:24,774 --> 00:00:27,614
so I designed this Malibu home
myself.
8
00:00:27,652 --> 00:00:29,282
Isn't it stunning?
9
00:00:29,320 --> 00:00:31,820
And the theme
I always came back to was
10
00:00:31,865 --> 00:00:34,025
"purple expensive."
11
00:00:34,075 --> 00:00:35,325
I commissioned this mantle.
12
00:00:35,368 --> 00:00:36,538
Now that I've gone solo,
13
00:00:36,578 --> 00:00:38,908
I need a place
for all my future awards.
14
00:00:38,955 --> 00:00:41,745
15
00:00:41,791 --> 00:00:44,881
I love to just sit here
and get ideas like,
16
00:00:44,919 --> 00:00:46,459
a duet with Prince
17
00:00:46,504 --> 00:00:48,924
that gives poor people
a Christmas.
18
00:00:48,965 --> 00:00:52,175
Here, of course,
is my solo album,
19
00:00:52,218 --> 00:00:53,848
"Yesternights."
20
00:00:53,887 --> 00:00:56,557
This is a film I recently
completed with Jose.
21
00:00:56,598 --> 00:00:58,808
I played Dr. Janet Dress,
22
00:00:58,850 --> 00:01:00,270
and what drew me to this role
23
00:01:00,310 --> 00:01:02,810
was that...
I believe we were spies...
24
00:01:02,854 --> 00:01:05,654
as well as my love
of all things humor.
25
00:01:05,690 --> 00:01:08,360
[laughs nasally]
26
00:01:08,401 --> 00:01:10,241
[music slows]
27
00:01:10,278 --> 00:01:11,568
[clears throat]
28
00:01:11,613 --> 00:01:14,533
I saw on this program
that Ms. Missy Elliott
29
00:01:14,574 --> 00:01:17,084
has a bed that
looks like a Ferrari.
30
00:01:17,118 --> 00:01:19,078
Well, I do Missy one better
31
00:01:19,120 --> 00:01:20,330
by having a car
32
00:01:20,372 --> 00:01:21,872
that looks like a bed.
33
00:01:21,915 --> 00:01:23,875
It's Sealy Posturepedic
for Alfa Romeo.
34
00:01:23,917 --> 00:01:25,417
[smooches]
35
00:01:25,460 --> 00:01:26,750
[engine revs]
Vroom, vroom.
36
00:01:26,795 --> 00:01:28,205
Bye, "Cribs."
37
00:01:28,254 --> 00:01:30,844
Luxury forever!
38
00:01:30,882 --> 00:01:31,932
[engine roars]
39
00:01:31,966 --> 00:01:33,296
[upbeat music]
40
00:01:33,343 --> 00:01:35,683
all: We're gonna be
famous five-ever
41
00:01:35,720 --> 00:01:38,100
'Cause forever's too short
42
00:01:38,139 --> 00:01:39,599
It's too short
43
00:01:39,641 --> 00:01:42,521
We're gonna be famous
three-gether
44
00:01:42,560 --> 00:01:44,440
'Cause that's one more
45
00:01:44,479 --> 00:01:46,439
Than together
46
00:01:46,481 --> 00:01:49,441
We're gonna be famous
five-ever
47
00:01:49,484 --> 00:01:52,454
'Cause forever's too short
48
00:01:55,323 --> 00:01:59,493
Girls5eva
49
00:02:04,874 --> 00:02:06,294
[objects crash]
50
00:02:06,334 --> 00:02:08,634
- Fireworks or terrorism?
- Hmm?
51
00:02:08,670 --> 00:02:12,510
52
00:02:12,549 --> 00:02:14,589
- Oh, it's just Wickie.
53
00:02:14,634 --> 00:02:16,514
- You're welcome.
I'm organizing.
54
00:02:16,553 --> 00:02:18,303
- Is that a trash pile?
55
00:02:18,346 --> 00:02:20,216
- Of course not.
It's to donate.
56
00:02:20,265 --> 00:02:21,305
I'm very giving.
57
00:02:21,349 --> 00:02:22,599
- That's our microwave.
58
00:02:22,642 --> 00:02:25,312
- It has a button
that says "baked potato."
59
00:02:25,353 --> 00:02:27,273
Invest in yourself.
60
00:02:27,313 --> 00:02:30,483
- I do.
I wash my bra every other week.
61
00:02:30,525 --> 00:02:32,525
- A clean, fresh space
is my gift to you
62
00:02:32,569 --> 00:02:34,149
for letting me stay here.
63
00:02:34,195 --> 00:02:35,655
I have an eye for this.
64
00:02:35,697 --> 00:02:37,617
Every interior designer
I've ever worked with has said,
65
00:02:37,657 --> 00:02:40,117
"Then why don't you just do it?"
66
00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:41,160
- [sniffs]
67
00:02:41,202 --> 00:02:43,122
Ugh, buddy.
Your poopy's out.
68
00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:44,663
- I told her.
69
00:02:44,706 --> 00:02:47,826
- You told her?
[chuckles]
70
00:02:47,876 --> 00:02:50,706
- Wickie's presence is, uh,
palpable.
71
00:02:50,754 --> 00:02:52,384
Why does she have
six toothbrushes?
72
00:02:52,422 --> 00:02:54,052
- Some are for eyebrows
and suedes.
73
00:02:54,090 --> 00:02:56,130
- I gotta say, it's starting
to feel a little--
74
00:02:56,176 --> 00:02:58,466
- Do not say
"You, Me and Dupree."
75
00:02:58,511 --> 00:02:59,851
This is temporary.
76
00:02:59,888 --> 00:03:02,518
We have our first
group strategy session today.
77
00:03:02,557 --> 00:03:05,057
And as soon as we start
booking gigs,
78
00:03:05,101 --> 00:03:06,311
she'll get her own place.
79
00:03:06,353 --> 00:03:09,943
- A curling iron is on
in a child's room.
80
00:03:09,981 --> 00:03:11,401
- Sorry, honey.
81
00:03:11,441 --> 00:03:13,571
At least you get the place
to yourself today.
82
00:03:13,610 --> 00:03:15,450
Because this afternoon,
83
00:03:15,487 --> 00:03:18,657
Max is going to the
Bernardones' birthday party.
84
00:03:18,698 --> 00:03:21,238
- Yes, Declan's coming over
to watch the Tour de Fresno.
85
00:03:21,284 --> 00:03:22,704
- Biking?
86
00:03:22,744 --> 00:03:23,624
- Cycling.
87
00:03:23,661 --> 00:03:25,291
I got my eyes on Primas Pacas.
88
00:03:25,330 --> 00:03:26,540
He was a forceps baby,
89
00:03:26,581 --> 00:03:28,121
so his head really slices
through the wind.
90
00:03:28,166 --> 00:03:29,996
- Hey, Richard.
- Scott.
91
00:03:30,043 --> 00:03:31,383
- No Black men are named Scott.
92
00:03:31,419 --> 00:03:32,709
- [sighs]
Scottie Pippen.
93
00:03:32,754 --> 00:03:34,804
Kid Cudi. Travis Scott.
- Sure.
94
00:03:34,839 --> 00:03:36,219
If you're gonna
be around later,
95
00:03:36,257 --> 00:03:37,507
do you mind signing
for a package?
96
00:03:37,550 --> 00:03:39,260
I have a few essentials coming
from Los Angeles.
97
00:03:39,302 --> 00:03:40,432
- Sure.
No problem.
98
00:03:40,470 --> 00:03:42,180
- Is that a hat
from Boost Mobile?
99
00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:44,392
[quirky music]
100
00:03:44,432 --> 00:03:45,772
You'll thank me.
101
00:03:45,809 --> 00:03:47,269
[doorbell buzzes]
102
00:03:47,310 --> 00:03:49,100
- Ding-dong, mommies.
103
00:03:49,771 --> 00:03:52,571
- [scoffs]
- Oh, my God.
104
00:03:52,607 --> 00:03:55,067
Flash flood
or Amber alert or what?
105
00:03:55,110 --> 00:03:56,440
- No, it's just--
106
00:03:56,486 --> 00:03:57,986
it's been a couple days
since we did "Fallon"
107
00:03:58,029 --> 00:03:59,819
and Kev hasn't reposted it yet
108
00:03:59,864 --> 00:04:03,374
even though I post all
of his TV appearances.
109
00:04:03,410 --> 00:04:04,410
- Hey, what's up?
110
00:04:04,452 --> 00:04:05,832
I'm here with an exclusive look
111
00:04:05,870 --> 00:04:08,000
at the flight paths
celebrities often take
112
00:04:08,039 --> 00:04:10,039
from Los Angeles to Miami,
113
00:04:10,083 --> 00:04:12,543
passing over Tampa completely.
114
00:04:13,128 --> 00:04:15,958
- I wouldn't worry about
who's posting what, but...
115
00:04:16,006 --> 00:04:17,256
[sighs] I will say that
116
00:04:17,298 --> 00:04:18,758
the fact that Kev
lives in a different city is--
117
00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:21,470
- No!
Kev and I are amazing!
118
00:04:21,511 --> 00:04:24,181
We are so cute.
It's frickin' gross.
119
00:04:24,222 --> 00:04:25,602
We were Zales ambassadors.
120
00:04:25,640 --> 00:04:27,060
[front door clicks]
121
00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:28,480
- It begins.
122
00:04:28,518 --> 00:04:30,688
[Summer and Gloria
sigh dreamily]
123
00:04:30,729 --> 00:04:32,559
- [chuckles]
- I love her.
124
00:04:32,605 --> 00:04:34,435
- Girls5eva is back.
125
00:04:34,482 --> 00:04:37,072
Femperors of our own fempire.
126
00:04:37,110 --> 00:04:39,700
Haters can say that
we're one-hit wonders,
127
00:04:39,738 --> 00:04:44,078
but they forget
that we have a secret weapon.
128
00:04:44,117 --> 00:04:45,327
- My boot knife?
129
00:04:45,368 --> 00:04:46,448
We keep a lot of cash
at the office.
130
00:04:46,494 --> 00:04:47,954
- Our trademark.
131
00:04:47,996 --> 00:04:50,286
Dwasg.
[all gasp]
132
00:04:50,331 --> 00:04:51,921
- What's the story of that?
133
00:04:51,958 --> 00:04:53,378
- Well, Mr. King,
134
00:04:53,418 --> 00:04:56,668
"dwasg" is our word for
this electric feeling we all get
135
00:04:56,713 --> 00:04:59,053
when we're performing together
and we're just in the zone.
136
00:04:59,090 --> 00:05:01,470
- We all get chicken nipples.
[clears throat]
137
00:05:01,509 --> 00:05:03,599
I guess out east,
you call them goosebumps.
138
00:05:03,636 --> 00:05:05,806
- It's made from the
first letters of our names.
139
00:05:05,847 --> 00:05:07,467
- Is it you're just
inventing words?
140
00:05:07,515 --> 00:05:11,225
- Uh, yeah.
That's how words work, Larry.
141
00:05:11,269 --> 00:05:12,479
They're all made up.
142
00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:14,650
Ham. Diner.
143
00:05:14,689 --> 00:05:17,859
France. Shoulders!
[all laughing]
144
00:05:17,901 --> 00:05:19,031
"Shoulders."
- "Shoulders"!
145
00:05:19,069 --> 00:05:20,569
[all sigh]
146
00:05:20,612 --> 00:05:22,322
- And even though
Ashley lost her battle
147
00:05:22,364 --> 00:05:23,824
with the infinity pool,
148
00:05:23,865 --> 00:05:26,405
we still had our dwasg
at Fallon!
149
00:05:26,451 --> 00:05:28,371
- Ash was probably
watching from above.
150
00:05:28,411 --> 00:05:29,701
- Or below.
151
00:05:29,746 --> 00:05:31,866
She used to curse
and masturbate, so...
152
00:05:31,915 --> 00:05:34,455
- Now look,
I know the business.
153
00:05:34,501 --> 00:05:36,591
It's all about
capitalizing on heat.
154
00:05:36,628 --> 00:05:39,628
And right now,
Girls5eva has a little heat!
155
00:05:39,673 --> 00:05:41,223
[all cheer]
- True!
156
00:05:41,257 --> 00:05:43,007
I saw a new clickbait ad
that said
157
00:05:43,051 --> 00:05:46,681
you won't believe which one
of us is Haley Joel Osment now.
158
00:05:46,721 --> 00:05:49,221
- We have to turn that heat
into a fire
159
00:05:49,265 --> 00:05:51,265
that shoots us to the stage!
160
00:05:51,309 --> 00:05:52,479
At...
161
00:05:52,519 --> 00:05:53,689
- Oh!
162
00:05:53,728 --> 00:05:56,108
There's a chalkboard
right there.
163
00:05:56,147 --> 00:05:57,227
- Jingle Ball.
164
00:05:57,273 --> 00:05:59,403
- Oh, my God! Yes!
165
00:05:59,442 --> 00:06:01,952
The greatest concert
in the world.
166
00:06:01,986 --> 00:06:04,356
- The concert that bumped us
in 2001.
167
00:06:04,406 --> 00:06:07,276
- Well...
- It's not just a concert.
168
00:06:07,325 --> 00:06:09,655
It is a coronation.
169
00:06:09,703 --> 00:06:13,043
It is how we will know
that we have truly arrived.
170
00:06:13,081 --> 00:06:14,291
- Yes.
- Mm-hmm.
171
00:06:14,332 --> 00:06:16,752
And look who played
the year we got bumped.
172
00:06:16,793 --> 00:06:19,753
P!nk, Alicia Keys, Jay-Z.
173
00:06:19,796 --> 00:06:21,716
All not dentists now.
174
00:06:21,756 --> 00:06:22,916
- Great!
175
00:06:22,966 --> 00:06:26,336
So we know where we need to be
in December.
176
00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:28,386
So what's our first move,
ladies?
177
00:06:28,430 --> 00:06:31,390
[inspiring music]
178
00:06:31,433 --> 00:06:32,483
- [starts, sighs]
179
00:06:32,517 --> 00:06:34,387
[comical music]
180
00:06:34,436 --> 00:06:37,436
181
00:06:40,859 --> 00:06:41,859
Announcer: Still pedaling.
182
00:06:41,901 --> 00:06:43,191
And here comes more pedaling!
183
00:06:43,236 --> 00:06:44,526
- Oh! You called it.
184
00:06:44,571 --> 00:06:47,621
- I I did. Called it.
- Ah! His head is a knife!
185
00:06:47,657 --> 00:06:50,037
[doorbell buzzes]
186
00:06:50,076 --> 00:06:51,326
Who is it?
187
00:06:51,369 --> 00:06:53,369
- Delivery for Wickie Roy.
188
00:06:53,413 --> 00:06:54,713
- Come on up.
189
00:06:54,748 --> 00:06:56,368
- Curbside.
Come to curb.
190
00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:58,376
[upbeat music]
191
00:06:58,418 --> 00:07:00,798
192
00:07:00,837 --> 00:07:03,967
- This is essentials?
193
00:07:04,007 --> 00:07:05,217
No. No, no, no, no, no!
194
00:07:05,258 --> 00:07:06,888
Hang on.
195
00:07:06,926 --> 00:07:10,056
Dawn, Wickie's package
is a grand piano
196
00:07:10,096 --> 00:07:11,136
from the future.
197
00:07:11,181 --> 00:07:12,101
Oh, God.
198
00:07:12,140 --> 00:07:14,230
A bird just flew into it.
Call me.
199
00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:15,767
No. No, no, no, no.
200
00:07:15,810 --> 00:07:17,350
No, no, no, no, no.
Wait, wait, wait. Don't go.
201
00:07:17,395 --> 00:07:20,065
Sorry. You have to
take it back or move it for us.
202
00:07:20,106 --> 00:07:21,516
- Curbside!
203
00:07:21,566 --> 00:07:23,816
- But Declan has cycling arms.
204
00:07:23,860 --> 00:07:25,280
- You sign for this?
205
00:07:26,988 --> 00:07:28,618
- What's that thing made of?
206
00:07:33,244 --> 00:07:34,544
- You have something?
207
00:07:34,579 --> 00:07:35,619
- No.
208
00:07:35,663 --> 00:07:37,003
I thought
it might help me think
209
00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:39,920
if I wrote "think, asshole"
in really big letters.
210
00:07:39,959 --> 00:07:41,799
- Why don't we know what to do?
211
00:07:41,836 --> 00:07:44,006
Why can't we make
any decisions?
212
00:07:44,047 --> 00:07:46,927
- Because, look, we never got
to make group decisions before.
213
00:07:46,966 --> 00:07:49,086
Larry made them all for us.
214
00:07:49,135 --> 00:07:50,425
- Ashley.
Ashley and Summer: Yeah?
215
00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:51,600
- You're Summer now
216
00:07:51,638 --> 00:07:53,808
because we already have
an Ashley.
217
00:07:53,848 --> 00:07:56,478
And Wickie, you can't wear
those braids on TV.
218
00:07:56,518 --> 00:07:57,808
- Why?
- It's a white hairstyle.
219
00:07:57,852 --> 00:08:00,192
Christina, Gwen Stefani,
220
00:08:00,230 --> 00:08:01,900
Travolta
in "Battlefield Earth."
221
00:08:01,940 --> 00:08:03,780
- That wasn't okay, Larry.
222
00:08:03,817 --> 00:08:05,897
- God, that Larry.
He really stunk.
223
00:08:05,944 --> 00:08:08,154
He'd be all,
"Lose ten pounds,"
224
00:08:08,196 --> 00:08:09,986
and I'd do it,
and then, he'd go,
225
00:08:10,031 --> 00:08:12,331
"Not from there!
From the legs, kid.
226
00:08:12,367 --> 00:08:13,537
From the legs!"
227
00:08:13,576 --> 00:08:15,196
- Did he always say
messed up stuff to you
228
00:08:15,245 --> 00:08:16,655
right before a show?
229
00:08:16,705 --> 00:08:18,285
- Oh, you mean
his little pep talks?
230
00:08:18,331 --> 00:08:21,081
"You're this close to being
the hot one, Summer."
231
00:08:21,126 --> 00:08:23,496
- "You inspire fans 'cause you
show them anyone can do it."
232
00:08:23,545 --> 00:08:25,415
- He'd stare at me and pretend
to be on the phone
233
00:08:25,463 --> 00:08:27,013
with Nicole Scherzinger and go,
234
00:08:27,048 --> 00:08:29,298
"Let's see how she does tonight
before you get on a plane."
235
00:08:29,342 --> 00:08:31,432
- Well, we don't need Larry
anymore.
236
00:08:31,469 --> 00:08:34,009
Half the gigs he booked us
weren't even real.
237
00:08:34,055 --> 00:08:36,305
- First show ever!
[overlapping chatter]
238
00:08:36,349 --> 00:08:37,639
- Santa's in his workshop
239
00:08:37,684 --> 00:08:39,144
working on an Arby's
beef and cheddar.
240
00:08:39,185 --> 00:08:40,975
Go. Get up on his platform
and sing!
241
00:08:41,021 --> 00:08:42,311
Don't worry about security.
- Okay!
242
00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:43,725
- The most they've got
is a stick.
243
00:08:43,773 --> 00:08:45,363
Go! Win hearts!
[group chattering]
244
00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:46,820
And show your stomachs!
245
00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:51,030
all: We are Girls5eva!
246
00:08:53,491 --> 00:08:55,451
- That is our first move.
247
00:08:55,493 --> 00:08:57,453
Go back to where it all began.
248
00:08:57,495 --> 00:09:00,285
- God's finger?
- The Queen of Plaza mall?
249
00:09:00,331 --> 00:09:02,671
- That show
put us on the map.
250
00:09:02,709 --> 00:09:04,629
I say we pop back up in there
251
00:09:04,669 --> 00:09:05,839
and make
an official announcement
252
00:09:05,879 --> 00:09:08,009
that Girls5eva is back!
253
00:09:08,048 --> 00:09:09,298
- Oh, my God! Yes!
- It's hot.
254
00:09:09,341 --> 00:09:11,181
And it's buzzy.
And it's free.
255
00:09:11,217 --> 00:09:14,007
And I've got a pair of Skechers
I need to return.
256
00:09:14,054 --> 00:09:15,434
- We'll roll in
with cordless mics,
257
00:09:15,472 --> 00:09:18,062
sing a song that really
shows off our dwasg,
258
00:09:18,099 --> 00:09:19,929
and get out before
we're swarmed by fans.
259
00:09:19,976 --> 00:09:22,346
- Oh, my gosh!
[breathing heavily]
260
00:09:22,395 --> 00:09:24,895
- "Massive Girls5eva
announcement.
261
00:09:24,939 --> 00:09:26,569
"8:00 p.m. tomorrow.
262
00:09:26,608 --> 00:09:28,228
Instagram Live."
263
00:09:28,276 --> 00:09:30,696
- Tomorrow?
- While we have heat.
264
00:09:30,737 --> 00:09:34,407
And...
tagging industry bigshots!
265
00:09:34,449 --> 00:09:35,869
Simon Cowell.
266
00:09:35,909 --> 00:09:38,159
Babyface.
Babylegs.
267
00:09:38,203 --> 00:09:40,713
- All the babies!
- "Newspapers."
268
00:09:40,747 --> 00:09:42,207
- Oh, my God. Okay.
269
00:09:42,248 --> 00:09:44,418
Well, we can get a pop-up show
together by then.
270
00:09:44,459 --> 00:09:46,589
Let's warm up
with some Britney scales.
271
00:09:46,628 --> 00:09:47,918
- FreeBritney.
272
00:09:47,962 --> 00:09:51,092
all: [vocalizing nasally]
273
00:09:52,384 --> 00:09:55,304
[voices warbling]
274
00:10:01,518 --> 00:10:03,768
- [grunts]
Jesus!
275
00:10:03,812 --> 00:10:06,232
- Isn't Ghislaine gorgeous?
276
00:10:06,272 --> 00:10:08,402
- [scoffs]
- I named her 20 years ago.
277
00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:10,151
It was a pretty name then.
It's a pretty name now.
278
00:10:10,193 --> 00:10:11,903
I'm not changing it.
- [huffs]
279
00:10:11,945 --> 00:10:13,695
Was it always this big?
280
00:10:13,738 --> 00:10:14,988
- She's made
by the same people
281
00:10:15,031 --> 00:10:16,321
that make realtor
excellence awards,
282
00:10:16,366 --> 00:10:18,076
and I'm loving
the conversation she's having
283
00:10:18,118 --> 00:10:20,658
with your pile of shoes.
284
00:10:20,704 --> 00:10:22,584
- [groans]
Oh, my God.
285
00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:24,672
- Oh! Oh, my God!
286
00:10:24,708 --> 00:10:26,748
Oh, honey.
Are you okay?
287
00:10:26,793 --> 00:10:28,553
- Moving that thing
took all day.
288
00:10:28,586 --> 00:10:30,416
I tweaked my L5.
289
00:10:30,463 --> 00:10:32,133
Declan blew out his arms.
290
00:10:32,173 --> 00:10:33,633
And Max had to spend
an extra three hours
291
00:10:33,675 --> 00:10:34,965
at the Bernardone's.
292
00:10:35,010 --> 00:10:38,100
He saw the Elmo get in his car
and drive home.
293
00:10:38,138 --> 00:10:39,718
- God, that could
really mess a kid up!
294
00:10:39,764 --> 00:10:41,894
- Dawn, she can't
keep this here.
295
00:10:41,933 --> 00:10:43,603
- Minor thing.
296
00:10:43,643 --> 00:10:46,563
You may wanna rotate Ghislaine
40 degrees counterclockwise
297
00:10:46,604 --> 00:10:49,234
because if the sun hits her
at that angle,
298
00:10:49,274 --> 00:10:51,824
she could become a prism
and start fires.
299
00:10:54,487 --> 00:10:56,107
- I'll talk to her.
300
00:10:56,156 --> 00:10:59,616
Maybe she can put it in storage
or...
301
00:10:59,659 --> 00:11:03,159
give it to David Blaine and
he can hold his breath in it.
302
00:11:05,248 --> 00:11:07,458
- If we really wanna blow
the doors off that mall,
303
00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:09,500
we should do
"Dream Girlfriends."
304
00:11:09,544 --> 00:11:11,094
Big-time dwasg song.
305
00:11:11,129 --> 00:11:13,469
- Yeah. Love it.
- Great.
306
00:11:13,506 --> 00:11:15,376
I'll text the girls.
307
00:11:15,425 --> 00:11:19,345
- Hey, so you know
when an Italian family
308
00:11:19,387 --> 00:11:21,637
puts a giant fountain
on their tiny front lawn
309
00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:23,181
and it looks insane?
310
00:11:23,224 --> 00:11:24,894
- Dawn, I know this piano
doesn't quite jive
311
00:11:24,934 --> 00:11:26,564
with your
flyover state aesthetic...
312
00:11:26,603 --> 00:11:28,023
- I will say,
313
00:11:28,063 --> 00:11:30,323
my brother recently was paid
in some storage units,
314
00:11:30,357 --> 00:11:32,647
and once he clears out
the fake skin products--
315
00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:34,282
- You know,
316
00:11:34,319 --> 00:11:35,739
this is the first thing
I bought
317
00:11:35,779 --> 00:11:38,159
when Girls5eva took off.
318
00:11:38,198 --> 00:11:40,278
- How?
We only ever got a per diem.
319
00:11:40,325 --> 00:11:43,155
- Constellation
of credit cards, but...
320
00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:45,873
after "Yesternights"
underperformed,
321
00:11:45,914 --> 00:11:48,174
"Mr. Dress" swept the Razzies,
322
00:11:48,208 --> 00:11:50,748
and the Hair and Makeup Guild
put an inflatable rat
323
00:11:50,794 --> 00:11:53,764
outside my house
for human rights abuses,
324
00:11:53,797 --> 00:11:55,587
the phone just stopped ringing.
325
00:11:55,632 --> 00:11:57,842
Eventually, the creditors
took everything
326
00:11:57,884 --> 00:12:01,894
except this piano because...
327
00:12:01,930 --> 00:12:05,640
I sincerely
don't think they saw it.
328
00:12:05,684 --> 00:12:07,774
I know it's big and absurd,
329
00:12:07,811 --> 00:12:11,861
but when I look at it, it makes
me feel like I can do anything,
330
00:12:11,898 --> 00:12:14,978
like there's greatness in me...
331
00:12:15,026 --> 00:12:16,606
and us.
332
00:12:18,822 --> 00:12:22,282
- Well, I love it.
[both laugh]
333
00:12:22,325 --> 00:12:25,615
It's very special.
- It is.
334
00:12:25,662 --> 00:12:29,172
[playing piano slowly]
I made love
335
00:12:29,207 --> 00:12:33,877
[riffing soulfully]
To Ja Rule on it
336
00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:35,920
[brass music]
337
00:12:35,964 --> 00:12:39,224
- Good morning,
my beautiful girls.
338
00:12:39,259 --> 00:12:41,299
Look who's FaceTiming.
339
00:12:41,344 --> 00:12:43,814
- Oh, it's Kev.
Hey, Kev.
340
00:12:43,847 --> 00:12:46,467
- Hey. I hear you have
a big performance tonight.
341
00:12:46,516 --> 00:12:47,846
- Oh, yeah. We do.
342
00:12:47,892 --> 00:12:49,892
- I just wanna say,
I'm super excited for you.
343
00:12:49,936 --> 00:12:51,016
You're gonna do great.
344
00:12:51,062 --> 00:12:52,862
- Aw! Thank you, honey bunny.
345
00:12:52,897 --> 00:12:56,817
- So have a great show,
and congratulations to all.
346
00:12:56,860 --> 00:12:59,400
'Cause Kev from
the Boys Next Door thinks...
347
00:12:59,446 --> 00:13:02,526
You're too pretty
for college
348
00:13:02,574 --> 00:13:04,164
- This is a Cameo?
349
00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:05,830
- She bought a Cameo
from her husband
350
00:13:05,869 --> 00:13:06,949
to make us think
he's FaceTiming.
351
00:13:06,995 --> 00:13:08,405
Good Lord.
352
00:13:08,455 --> 00:13:09,905
- So thanks for being a fan,
stranger.
353
00:13:09,956 --> 00:13:11,706
- Oh, wow! Okay.
354
00:13:11,750 --> 00:13:13,750
Hi! Good morning.
- Hi.
355
00:13:13,793 --> 00:13:15,173
Okay, show's tonight.
356
00:13:15,211 --> 00:13:16,921
Where's Gloria?
357
00:13:16,963 --> 00:13:19,343
[cell phone rings]
358
00:13:19,382 --> 00:13:20,882
- Okay, let's rehearse.
359
00:13:20,925 --> 00:13:22,385
- "Let's rehearse"?
Where are you?
360
00:13:22,427 --> 00:13:24,547
- I'm in the office; I have
an emergency tooth abscess.
361
00:13:24,596 --> 00:13:25,636
- Come on, Gloria!
362
00:13:25,680 --> 00:13:27,430
- Uh, does this look like
it can wait?
363
00:13:27,474 --> 00:13:29,524
- Oh. Oh, gross.
- Ugh. Ew.
364
00:13:29,559 --> 00:13:31,939
- But I can do both.
'Cause he's sedated, so...
365
00:13:31,978 --> 00:13:33,268
- Ooh.
- All right. Let's go.
366
00:13:33,313 --> 00:13:35,113
"Dream Girlfriends."
367
00:13:35,148 --> 00:13:37,688
One, two, three.
And...
368
00:13:37,734 --> 00:13:39,194
all: Ooh
369
00:13:39,235 --> 00:13:41,105
- Have you ever wanted
370
00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:42,574
the perfect girl...
[gags]
371
00:13:42,614 --> 00:13:43,534
- Oh!
- What?
372
00:13:43,573 --> 00:13:44,373
- I'm so sorry.
373
00:13:44,407 --> 00:13:46,277
This guy's mouth is like
374
00:13:46,326 --> 00:13:47,826
a straight shot down
to his asshole.
375
00:13:47,869 --> 00:13:49,199
It's foul.
376
00:13:49,245 --> 00:13:50,745
Let's do this. Back to one.
- Okay.
377
00:13:50,789 --> 00:13:52,919
all: Ooh
- Have you ever wanted--
378
00:13:52,957 --> 00:13:54,077
[phone chimes]
379
00:13:54,125 --> 00:13:55,705
- [groans, laughs]
380
00:13:55,752 --> 00:13:56,842
- How do I stop this?
381
00:13:56,878 --> 00:13:58,298
Do I press End and Accept?
382
00:13:58,338 --> 00:14:00,048
- No,
it's Ignore and Accept.
383
00:14:00,090 --> 00:14:01,590
- No, it's Ignore and Hold--
you know what?
384
00:14:01,633 --> 00:14:02,803
I'll do it--shit!
385
00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:04,342
- I was wrong.
386
00:14:04,386 --> 00:14:06,546
There's not zero interest
in Girls5eva.
387
00:14:06,596 --> 00:14:09,556
- Larry, look at the phone!
- You did a FaceTime, Larry.
388
00:14:09,599 --> 00:14:10,929
- I did?
389
00:14:10,975 --> 00:14:12,885
Well, hang on.
390
00:14:12,936 --> 00:14:14,186
No.
391
00:14:14,229 --> 00:14:15,979
Wait a minute.
392
00:14:16,022 --> 00:14:18,232
Okay. Okay.
393
00:14:18,274 --> 00:14:19,654
I got a call.
394
00:14:19,693 --> 00:14:22,493
Eric Trump Casino University
needs someone to play
395
00:14:22,529 --> 00:14:24,989
between MMA fights
while they mop up blood.
396
00:14:25,031 --> 00:14:27,781
Four grand, minus my 80%.
397
00:14:27,826 --> 00:14:29,116
BYO-mop.
398
00:14:29,160 --> 00:14:30,450
- Well, what about buckets?
399
00:14:30,495 --> 00:14:33,035
- Girls5eva does not need
your toxic energy, Larry.
400
00:14:33,081 --> 00:14:34,791
- I'm not toxic anymore.
401
00:14:34,833 --> 00:14:36,293
I have a gratitude journal.
402
00:14:36,334 --> 00:14:37,674
Today, I'm grateful
for my health
403
00:14:37,711 --> 00:14:39,631
and mannequins
that have nipples.
404
00:14:39,671 --> 00:14:42,131
- There's no L in dwasg, Larry.
- Yeah.
405
00:14:42,173 --> 00:14:43,633
- Fine.
I'll ask about buckets.
406
00:14:44,676 --> 00:14:47,506
- Oh!
- Your mouth is disgusting!
407
00:14:47,554 --> 00:14:49,854
Oh, we're back.
I'm sorry.
408
00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:51,269
Come on.
Back to one.
409
00:14:51,307 --> 00:14:53,387
all: Ooh
- Have you ever wanted...
410
00:14:53,435 --> 00:14:54,765
- I wanna play with Mommy.
411
00:14:54,811 --> 00:14:56,811
Mommy, Mommy,
I wanna play with you.
412
00:14:56,855 --> 00:14:58,515
- Mommy's working, honey.
413
00:14:58,565 --> 00:15:00,185
- Dawn, come on.
Get it together, here.
414
00:15:00,233 --> 00:15:01,573
This guy just bit me.
Come on.
415
00:15:01,609 --> 00:15:04,199
- I wanna stay with Mommy.
I wanna stay with Mommy.
416
00:15:04,237 --> 00:15:05,697
all: Ooh
- The perfect girl...
417
00:15:05,739 --> 00:15:07,489
- Mommy, Mommy,
I want to stay with you.
418
00:15:07,532 --> 00:15:08,872
- ...to fit in your world?
419
00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:10,448
- I wanna stay with you.
- Sorry.
420
00:15:10,493 --> 00:15:12,373
- Because we already real--
oh, I almost cut through.
421
00:15:12,412 --> 00:15:14,372
Oh, God damn it!
- Mommy, I wanna play with you!
422
00:15:14,414 --> 00:15:18,544
- You know what? Dwasg cannot
thrive in these environs.
423
00:15:18,585 --> 00:15:21,335
It's a soufflé,
not a duck cake.
424
00:15:21,379 --> 00:15:22,879
- I mean, I feel like
I'm smelling shit
425
00:15:22,922 --> 00:15:24,762
that he ate, like,
a year and a half ago.
426
00:15:24,799 --> 00:15:26,429
[gags]
427
00:15:26,468 --> 00:15:28,258
- That's our bedroom.
428
00:15:31,973 --> 00:15:34,183
- My grilled cheese is cold.
429
00:15:40,648 --> 00:15:42,068
- Oh, it's fine.
430
00:15:42,108 --> 00:15:43,148
I didn't use any product.
431
00:15:43,193 --> 00:15:44,323
- Did you talk to Wickie?
432
00:15:44,361 --> 00:15:46,031
- Maybe we could just watch TV
433
00:15:46,071 --> 00:15:48,661
through the piano.
434
00:15:48,698 --> 00:15:49,988
I can't ask her
to get rid of it.
435
00:15:50,033 --> 00:15:51,373
It inspires her.
436
00:15:51,409 --> 00:15:52,869
- Most people have
smaller things that do that.
437
00:15:52,911 --> 00:15:56,211
For me, it's a picture of
our family in a men's locket.
438
00:15:56,247 --> 00:15:57,957
- What makes it a men's locket?
439
00:15:57,999 --> 00:15:59,749
- It attaches to my belt
and has a bottle opener.
440
00:15:59,793 --> 00:16:02,503
Look, you know
I support Girls5eva,
441
00:16:02,545 --> 00:16:04,545
but that piano doesn't fit
into our life.
442
00:16:04,589 --> 00:16:06,679
Max keeps bumping into it.
443
00:16:06,716 --> 00:16:09,426
Now he's not sure what's
a real object and what's not.
444
00:16:11,471 --> 00:16:13,521
- I see the benefits
of a cautious child.
445
00:16:13,556 --> 00:16:16,556
- If you can't be the bad guy,
I will.
446
00:16:20,146 --> 00:16:21,436
[distant piano notes]
447
00:16:21,481 --> 00:16:23,651
Wait, did she move it?
448
00:16:23,692 --> 00:16:30,492
449
00:16:30,532 --> 00:16:31,832
- Thanks for driving us,
Nick.
450
00:16:31,866 --> 00:16:33,786
- No problem.
Hey, you guys want party lights?
451
00:16:33,827 --> 00:16:34,787
Check this out.
452
00:16:34,828 --> 00:16:36,038
I rent this thing out
for proms,
453
00:16:36,079 --> 00:16:38,619
TikToks,
Russian airport pickups.
454
00:16:38,665 --> 00:16:40,455
- Okay, once we get Summer,
we'll have 24 minutes
455
00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:42,000
to rehearse
and fire up the dwasg.
456
00:16:42,043 --> 00:16:43,003
- Okay.
457
00:16:43,044 --> 00:16:44,384
- You guys!
458
00:16:44,421 --> 00:16:46,921
Look! Kev sent me flowers.
459
00:16:46,965 --> 00:16:48,545
Like, for real.
460
00:16:48,591 --> 00:16:51,511
Not like me pretending
that he sent them.
461
00:16:51,553 --> 00:16:52,683
- Can you hear yourself,
Summer?
462
00:16:52,721 --> 00:16:55,471
- Not when you're talking, no.
Mm-mm.
463
00:16:55,515 --> 00:16:57,385
- [whispers]
I sent them.
464
00:16:57,434 --> 00:16:59,354
She deserves to be happy
before that marriage...
465
00:16:59,394 --> 00:17:00,814
[imitates explosion]
466
00:17:00,854 --> 00:17:02,404
- That's really sweet
short-term thinking.
467
00:17:02,439 --> 00:17:04,149
- Thank you.
- Ooh!
468
00:17:04,190 --> 00:17:07,400
@babylegs wrote, "Can't wait,"
with a baby foot emoji.
469
00:17:07,444 --> 00:17:08,994
- [gasps]
- The world is watching.
470
00:17:09,029 --> 00:17:11,569
We're one baby step closer
to Jingle Ball.
471
00:17:11,614 --> 00:17:12,744
Let's go.
- Okay.
472
00:17:12,782 --> 00:17:14,782
- "Dream Girlfriends."
From the top.
473
00:17:14,826 --> 00:17:17,076
Two, three, four.
474
00:17:17,120 --> 00:17:18,410
[all vocalizing]
475
00:17:18,455 --> 00:17:21,325
- Have you ever wanted
476
00:17:21,374 --> 00:17:22,884
the perfect girl?
477
00:17:22,917 --> 00:17:24,787
478
00:17:24,836 --> 00:17:27,916
all: You'll never want to
479
00:17:27,964 --> 00:17:30,264
Wake up from
480
00:17:30,300 --> 00:17:33,600
Us
481
00:17:33,636 --> 00:17:35,426
- You know, it's working,
but, like,
482
00:17:35,472 --> 00:17:36,932
I'm not moved, though.
But I got a high bar.
483
00:17:36,973 --> 00:17:38,773
I once saw Anita Baker
at the Trop.
484
00:17:38,808 --> 00:17:40,938
- Nick's right.
Let's go again.
485
00:17:40,977 --> 00:17:42,767
Everybody sing
from your diaphragm.
486
00:17:42,812 --> 00:17:44,062
- Which one?
487
00:17:44,105 --> 00:17:46,265
- Honey, you don't
leave those in all the time.
488
00:17:46,316 --> 00:17:47,436
- I'm getting you a book.
489
00:17:47,484 --> 00:17:49,574
- Two, three, four.
490
00:17:49,611 --> 00:17:51,741
[sharp percussion]
491
00:17:51,780 --> 00:17:54,780
- Us
492
00:17:54,824 --> 00:17:57,624
- Competent, but feel my eyes.
They're bone dry.
493
00:17:57,660 --> 00:17:59,540
- Where is our dwasg?
Why don't we have it?
494
00:17:59,579 --> 00:18:00,959
What didn't we do?
495
00:18:00,997 --> 00:18:03,417
- Is it cocaine?
I used to do so much cocaine.
496
00:18:03,458 --> 00:18:06,208
- I can't do cocaine anymore.
I'm taking too many statins.
497
00:18:06,252 --> 00:18:08,632
- No, we had it at "Fallon."
498
00:18:08,672 --> 00:18:10,342
What--what's missing?
499
00:18:12,509 --> 00:18:14,639
- How long you been there?
500
00:18:14,678 --> 00:18:17,008
Boy, you have zero presence.
501
00:18:18,098 --> 00:18:19,768
It's smart that your teeth
aren't so great.
502
00:18:19,808 --> 00:18:21,178
Like going to a bald barber.
503
00:18:21,226 --> 00:18:23,726
I know he's focused on me.
504
00:18:23,770 --> 00:18:26,900
I always thought
you'd be the dead one.
505
00:18:26,940 --> 00:18:29,650
Suck it in, chunks.
506
00:18:29,693 --> 00:18:31,993
- Our dwasg is from Larry
being mean to us?
507
00:18:32,028 --> 00:18:33,108
- He'd make us feel small
508
00:18:33,154 --> 00:18:34,704
so we'd have something to prove
onstage.
509
00:18:34,739 --> 00:18:36,159
- Well, you know what?
510
00:18:36,199 --> 00:18:37,829
If we're gonna kill
with this pop-up show,
511
00:18:37,867 --> 00:18:39,577
then we're just gonna have
to Larry each other.
512
00:18:39,619 --> 00:18:40,829
Dawn, I'll start with your feet.
- No.
513
00:18:40,870 --> 00:18:43,250
I don't want us
motivating ourselves
514
00:18:43,289 --> 00:18:44,669
by tearing each other down.
515
00:18:44,708 --> 00:18:47,168
We are better than that.
- Are we?
516
00:18:47,210 --> 00:18:48,800
We're four grown women
517
00:18:48,837 --> 00:18:50,587
loose in the back
of a cargo van.
518
00:18:50,630 --> 00:18:51,840
- It's not a van, all right?
519
00:18:51,881 --> 00:18:54,091
For tax purposes,
it's ten wheelchairs.
520
00:18:54,134 --> 00:18:57,804
- We're more than just
four women in the back of a van.
521
00:18:57,846 --> 00:19:01,516
We are four women
with greatness in us.
522
00:19:01,558 --> 00:19:03,638
- Ghislaine.
- Exactly, Dawn.
523
00:19:03,685 --> 00:19:05,055
You know,
positive envisionment
524
00:19:05,103 --> 00:19:06,863
can be just as powerful
a motivator.
525
00:19:06,896 --> 00:19:08,726
It's like when I'm working out
at the gym, right?
526
00:19:08,773 --> 00:19:11,193
I like to imagine myself
rescuing Christy Turlington
527
00:19:11,234 --> 00:19:12,574
from Ed Burns, and then, boom!
528
00:19:12,610 --> 00:19:14,150
I just start freakin'
ripping down my lap pulls.
529
00:19:14,195 --> 00:19:16,655
[passing driver honks horn]
- Right. Y--yeah.
530
00:19:16,698 --> 00:19:19,408
So let's make ourselves
feel big instead of small.
531
00:19:19,451 --> 00:19:20,701
- Okay.
532
00:19:20,744 --> 00:19:22,374
- Okay, dream scenarios
for tonight.
533
00:19:22,412 --> 00:19:23,832
Go.
- Okay.
534
00:19:23,872 --> 00:19:25,872
We kill at the mall.
- Mm-hmm.
535
00:19:25,915 --> 00:19:27,955
- It puts us on a rocket ship
to the Grammys.
536
00:19:28,001 --> 00:19:30,841
And I take one of those photos
that's like...
537
00:19:30,879 --> 00:19:33,049
[in British accent] "I don't
know if I can carry all these!"
538
00:19:33,089 --> 00:19:35,719
[laughter]
- That's a solid Adele.
539
00:19:35,759 --> 00:19:37,889
- Okay,
we're so awesome tonight
540
00:19:37,927 --> 00:19:40,637
that my Astoria moms group
stops asking me,
541
00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:42,560
"What do you do again?
Is it marketing?"
542
00:19:42,599 --> 00:19:44,099
- Okay. Okay.
My turn.
543
00:19:44,142 --> 00:19:46,022
Everybody sees us,
and we are amazing.
544
00:19:46,061 --> 00:19:48,441
And--oh! It worked!
Mine is short.
545
00:19:48,480 --> 00:19:50,270
[screams]
Oh, my God.
546
00:19:50,315 --> 00:19:53,025
- We pop up.
We blow minds.
547
00:19:53,068 --> 00:19:54,938
Then, Amber Alert!
548
00:19:54,986 --> 00:19:56,646
Sky-blue Taurus.
549
00:19:56,696 --> 00:19:59,196
Rhode Island plates.
It sounds familiar.
550
00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:01,030
I sprint over to lot B,
551
00:20:01,076 --> 00:20:03,656
and I pull that son of a bitch
through the windshield!
552
00:20:03,703 --> 00:20:05,543
Whoo! Hell, yeah!
- Oh!
553
00:20:05,580 --> 00:20:06,870
- Chicken nipples.
- Oh, my God! Me too!
554
00:20:06,915 --> 00:20:08,625
- It worked.
- We're here!
555
00:20:08,667 --> 00:20:09,747
- All right.
We got this.
556
00:20:09,793 --> 00:20:11,843
- Here we go.
- Thanks, Nick.
557
00:20:12,712 --> 00:20:14,212
- Okay, ladies.
558
00:20:14,255 --> 00:20:16,925
- Okay.
- Let's go destroy this mall.
559
00:20:16,966 --> 00:20:18,126
- Yes!
560
00:20:18,176 --> 00:20:19,716
- If they've got a Spencer's
up in there,
561
00:20:19,761 --> 00:20:21,681
get me some
"Jerky Boys" pajamas.
562
00:20:21,721 --> 00:20:24,521
[exciting synth music]
563
00:20:24,557 --> 00:20:28,557
564
00:20:28,603 --> 00:20:29,943
[music stops]
565
00:20:29,979 --> 00:20:31,109
- The hell?
566
00:20:33,066 --> 00:20:34,566
- Ugh!
567
00:20:34,609 --> 00:20:37,199
Oh, my God. Ew!
568
00:20:42,117 --> 00:20:45,947
- The mall's
already destroyed.
569
00:20:45,995 --> 00:20:48,325
- I bought Skechers here,
like, a month ago.
570
00:20:48,373 --> 00:20:49,793
- Oh, my God.
571
00:20:49,833 --> 00:20:52,463
- The mall economy is fragile.
- [yelps]
572
00:20:52,502 --> 00:20:54,422
- One minute, she's a-bustlin'.
573
00:20:54,462 --> 00:20:57,132
The next,
murdered by e-commerce.
574
00:20:57,173 --> 00:20:59,723
So the suits cram her
with gimmicks.
575
00:20:59,759 --> 00:21:02,049
Indoor ski slope,
576
00:21:02,095 --> 00:21:03,505
swim-up food court,
577
00:21:03,555 --> 00:21:05,135
but that's just a Band-Aid.
578
00:21:05,181 --> 00:21:07,811
And things rot pretty fast
when your anchor store
579
00:21:07,851 --> 00:21:10,231
is a Halloween Adventure.
580
00:21:10,270 --> 00:21:12,060
- So there's nothing here?
581
00:21:12,105 --> 00:21:15,225
- Outside of a post-apocalyptic
paintball scene, no.
582
00:21:15,275 --> 00:21:17,485
But try next week.
She could bounce back.
583
00:21:17,527 --> 00:21:18,857
- Oh, yeah.
584
00:21:18,903 --> 00:21:21,203
We're supposed to go live
in one minute.
585
00:21:21,239 --> 00:21:22,659
- We cannot pop up here.
586
00:21:22,699 --> 00:21:25,489
[echoes]
We'll look like idiots!
587
00:21:25,535 --> 00:21:29,455
- Jesus, am I crazy...
588
00:21:29,497 --> 00:21:32,287
or are the acoustics in here...
589
00:21:32,334 --> 00:21:37,804
[belting powerfully]
Amazing?
590
00:21:37,839 --> 00:21:39,469
[laughter echoing]
- Oh, my God.
591
00:21:39,507 --> 00:21:41,427
You guys, look.
592
00:21:41,468 --> 00:21:44,218
The O from the downed Sbarro,
593
00:21:44,262 --> 00:21:46,012
it's like a ring light.
594
00:21:46,056 --> 00:21:50,596
We all look...
super hot.
595
00:21:50,643 --> 00:21:51,943
- Okay.
596
00:21:51,978 --> 00:21:53,728
Let's not waste this dwasg.
597
00:21:53,772 --> 00:21:55,272
- Lady guard.
598
00:21:55,315 --> 00:21:58,065
Okay, will you just
press the red button?
599
00:21:58,109 --> 00:22:00,949
And keep the angles hot!
You know?
600
00:22:00,987 --> 00:22:03,987
And vertical--no!
No! Up and down.
601
00:22:04,032 --> 00:22:05,992
- Go live.
Okay. Ready?
602
00:22:06,034 --> 00:22:08,544
[all murmuring]
- Yes. Yes. Yeah.
603
00:22:08,578 --> 00:22:10,458
Hello, Internet.
604
00:22:10,497 --> 00:22:14,417
We are coming to you live from
the Queen of Plaza mall...
605
00:22:14,459 --> 00:22:15,959
- Whoo!
- To tell you it's dead.
606
00:22:16,002 --> 00:22:17,752
- It's dead.
- But we're not.
607
00:22:17,796 --> 00:22:20,166
Girls5eva is back!
608
00:22:20,215 --> 00:22:21,465
[bright R&B music]
- Okay.
609
00:22:21,508 --> 00:22:22,878
- Yes.
- [clears throat]
610
00:22:22,926 --> 00:22:25,046
[all vocalize sweetly]
611
00:22:25,095 --> 00:22:27,555
- [huskily]
Have you ever wanted...
612
00:22:27,597 --> 00:22:29,387
- Ooh
- The perfect girl...
613
00:22:29,432 --> 00:22:31,272
to fit in your world?
614
00:22:31,309 --> 00:22:34,399
Well, don't make a wish
because we're already real.
615
00:22:34,437 --> 00:22:37,017
- Low-rise jeans
with the one-tooth zipper
616
00:22:37,065 --> 00:22:39,475
Eyebrows thin,
bronzer thicker
617
00:22:39,526 --> 00:22:41,896
Whale tail peekin',
ready for the weekend
618
00:22:41,945 --> 00:22:44,105
And our eyes are all over you,
boy
619
00:22:44,155 --> 00:22:47,445
We are
all: Dream girlfriends
620
00:22:47,492 --> 00:22:50,082
'Cause our dads are dead
621
00:22:50,120 --> 00:22:52,790
So you'll never have
to meet them
622
00:22:52,831 --> 00:22:55,711
And get asked
why you left school
623
00:22:55,750 --> 00:22:58,710
Dream girlfriends
624
00:22:58,753 --> 00:23:00,923
No pushback
625
00:23:00,964 --> 00:23:03,554
'Cause our moms
are all retired
626
00:23:03,591 --> 00:23:06,261
And hoping for the best
627
00:23:06,302 --> 00:23:11,102
628
00:23:11,141 --> 00:23:13,891
- We've got the kind
of birth control
629
00:23:13,935 --> 00:23:16,935
That goes in your arm
630
00:23:16,980 --> 00:23:20,730
- And tell me again
why Tarantino's a genius
631
00:23:20,775 --> 00:23:21,895
[splat]
[grunts]
632
00:23:21,943 --> 00:23:24,703
all: You'll never want to
633
00:23:24,738 --> 00:23:27,448
Wake up from
634
00:23:27,490 --> 00:23:30,490
all: [harmonizing] Us
635
00:23:30,535 --> 00:23:33,705
- [running scales]
Us
636
00:23:33,747 --> 00:23:34,907
- We're short,
637
00:23:34,956 --> 00:23:38,286
so we don't know
that you're bald.
638
00:23:38,335 --> 00:23:39,785
- That was good.
639
00:23:39,836 --> 00:23:41,956
And I saw Anita Baker
at the Trop!
640
00:23:42,005 --> 00:23:45,005
- We're back, babies!
- [cheers]
641
00:23:45,050 --> 00:23:47,590
- I love you guys!
- Oh, my God, I love you!
642
00:23:47,635 --> 00:23:49,345
[all cheer]
643
00:23:49,387 --> 00:23:50,807
[splat]
- Ow!
644
00:23:50,847 --> 00:23:53,097
- What?
- I'm being targeted.
645
00:23:53,141 --> 00:23:54,641
Come on.
Show yourself, dipshit.
646
00:23:54,684 --> 00:23:55,814
- What?
647
00:23:55,852 --> 00:23:56,982
- You're not gonna
ruin my night.
648
00:23:57,020 --> 00:23:58,270
- No!
[all cheer]
649
00:23:58,313 --> 00:24:00,323
I love you!
650
00:24:00,357 --> 00:24:02,607
-[laughing] Ladies!
- Thank you!
651
00:24:02,650 --> 00:24:04,320
[both laughing]
- Oh!
652
00:24:04,361 --> 00:24:08,111
Oh, I went a little nuts
with that Claire's gun I found.
653
00:24:08,156 --> 00:24:09,776
But I'm excited!
654
00:24:09,824 --> 00:24:11,494
Thank you for everything.
655
00:24:11,534 --> 00:24:12,914
You're my best friend.
656
00:24:12,952 --> 00:24:15,252
- Aw, Wickie!
- Oh, God.
657
00:24:15,288 --> 00:24:17,748
- And you're talking
to the piano.
658
00:24:17,791 --> 00:24:19,331
- Oh, God.
659
00:24:19,376 --> 00:24:22,706
- I used to take piano lessons
in the third grade.
660
00:24:22,754 --> 00:24:24,304
- Oh, you did?
- Mm-hmm.
661
00:24:24,339 --> 00:24:26,379
[plays random notes]
- [chuckles]
662
00:24:26,424 --> 00:24:29,684
I wonder if I remember
how to play anything.
663
00:24:29,719 --> 00:24:32,849
[playing "Heart and Soul"]
664
00:24:32,889 --> 00:24:34,519
Everybody knows this one.
665
00:24:34,557 --> 00:24:36,977
666
00:24:37,018 --> 00:24:38,688
- Wickie, I'm sorry.
The piano's gotta go.
667
00:24:38,728 --> 00:24:39,728
I'm sorry.
668
00:24:39,771 --> 00:24:42,821
669
00:24:42,857 --> 00:24:45,487
- Heart and soul
670
00:24:45,527 --> 00:24:47,857
both: I fell in love
with you
671
00:24:47,904 --> 00:24:50,704
Heart and soul
672
00:24:50,740 --> 00:24:53,370
Like any fool would do
673
00:24:53,410 --> 00:24:56,500
Madly
674
00:24:56,538 --> 00:24:59,538
- I love my heart and soul
- It didn't work
675
00:24:59,582 --> 00:25:00,752
- La, la
676
00:25:00,792 --> 00:25:02,672
- Were we loud?
- No.
677
00:25:02,711 --> 00:25:04,711
It's perfect.
678
00:25:04,754 --> 00:25:07,674
I'm okay with all of it.
679
00:25:07,716 --> 00:25:09,216
- You should've
seen Dawn tonight.
680
00:25:09,259 --> 00:25:11,679
- Yes. Show me.
I don't do Instagram.
681
00:25:11,720 --> 00:25:13,300
Just Pinterest
for outdoor vests.
682
00:25:13,346 --> 00:25:14,216
- Hmm.
683
00:25:14,264 --> 00:25:15,934
- Ooh, our dwasg
was firing hard!
684
00:25:15,974 --> 00:25:17,104
- I'm sure.
685
00:25:17,142 --> 00:25:19,732
Wait, why didn't you guys
call it "d'swag"?
686
00:25:19,769 --> 00:25:22,559
- Ugh, gosh, you don't know
anything about the business.
687
00:25:22,605 --> 00:25:23,815
Oh, wait.
That is way better.
688
00:25:23,857 --> 00:25:25,147
Either way,
689
00:25:25,191 --> 00:25:27,571
once in a millennia,
a performance comes along
690
00:25:27,610 --> 00:25:28,900
that just--
691
00:25:28,945 --> 00:25:31,195
it captures the imagination
of a generation.
692
00:25:31,239 --> 00:25:32,409
And...
- It's gone.
693
00:25:32,449 --> 00:25:35,079
- What?
- From the story and the grid.
694
00:25:35,118 --> 00:25:37,118
For copyright infringement?
695
00:25:37,162 --> 00:25:38,622
- [sighs]
696
00:25:38,663 --> 00:25:41,173
"This video has been blocked
because it contains content
697
00:25:41,207 --> 00:25:44,877
owned by Plumb Management
and Junk Removal Services"?
698
00:25:44,919 --> 00:25:46,379
What?
699
00:25:46,421 --> 00:25:48,341
- Freakin' Larry!
700
00:25:48,381 --> 00:25:50,051
[sighs]
701
00:25:50,091 --> 00:25:51,931
- Oh!
- Jesus!
702
00:25:51,968 --> 00:25:53,468
It was just there!
703
00:25:56,306 --> 00:25:57,676
- Happy to drive
so you can drink
704
00:25:57,724 --> 00:25:59,984
Beam and coke,
shots of Rumple Minze
705
00:26:00,018 --> 00:26:02,268
Butterfly tat
flying up our back
706
00:26:02,312 --> 00:26:04,862
And we wanna watch you
play darts
707
00:26:04,898 --> 00:26:07,818
- Got big doe eyes
that you can swim in
708
00:26:07,859 --> 00:26:10,609
Love watching stand-up,
but not by women
709
00:26:10,653 --> 00:26:13,073
Runnin' in pumps,
never taking dumps
710
00:26:13,114 --> 00:26:15,374
And my feet are
a child size four
711
00:26:15,408 --> 00:26:18,238
We are
all: Dream girlfriends
712
00:26:18,286 --> 00:26:20,866
'Cause our dads are dead
713
00:26:20,914 --> 00:26:23,424
They gave us some advice
714
00:26:23,458 --> 00:26:26,628
But we forgot
what they said
715
00:26:26,670 --> 00:26:29,800
Dream girlfriends
716
00:26:29,839 --> 00:26:31,509
No pushback
717
00:26:31,549 --> 00:26:34,219
All we have
is a cool uncle
718
00:26:34,260 --> 00:26:37,140
Who let us use his boat
719
00:26:37,180 --> 00:26:39,430
Dream girlfriends
720
00:26:39,474 --> 00:26:42,314
We never need to talk
721
00:26:42,352 --> 00:26:44,982
You can tell your friends
we're models
722
00:26:45,021 --> 00:26:47,901
'Cause we were
in some catalog
723
00:26:47,941 --> 00:26:51,491
Dream girlfriends
724
00:26:51,528 --> 00:26:52,988
No drama
725
00:26:53,029 --> 00:26:56,159
'Cause we're party girls
who wear cowboy hats
726
00:26:56,199 --> 00:26:58,659
To a bar
727
00:26:58,702 --> 00:27:00,952
Low maintenance, hot
728
00:27:00,995 --> 00:27:03,745
And fitting in your world
729
00:27:03,790 --> 00:27:06,670
You'll never want to
730
00:27:06,710 --> 00:27:09,090
Wake up from
731
00:27:09,129 --> 00:27:12,169
Us
732
00:27:12,215 --> 00:27:15,085
- [running scales]
Us
733
00:27:15,135 --> 00:27:18,255
734
00:27:18,304 --> 00:27:20,144
- Good night, everybody.
- Good night.
735
00:27:20,181 --> 00:27:22,141
[crunching]
736
00:27:22,183 --> 00:27:23,563
[ascending tone]
51084