Original subtitles

>> John, one of the privileges

of being a Disney producer is

putting subliminal messages in

our films.

>> You know, like the castle in

"Little Mermaid."

>> Yeah, and we're looking for

artists who can draw what can

be seen and not seen.

The unseen seen.

>> And we hired you to execute

that with "The Lion King."

>> Right, yep, no, I got it.

>> So what is this trash?

>> And those are clearly human

balls, John.

>> That's not subliminal at all.

>> That's overliminal,

that's what it is.

>> I think that's just 'cause

you're adults.

>> No, no, I think kids know

what balls are.

>> Many kids got balls, man.

>> Right, well, you're,

you're paying me to draw balls.

You said draw balls

so I drew balls.

>> We're paying you

to hide balls.

>> I mean, anybody can put an

obviously nutsack in the middle

of a sky, John. (chuckling)

(buzzing)

(door opens)

Hey, Bud.

>> Hey, I need you to do

something for me.

Could you let us know what you

see in that picture?

>> Wiener balls.

>> Wiener balls, there you go.

Have a chocolate.

>> We are not the leader in

children's entertainment by

being lazy, John, okay?

Okay.

Let's go to the next one.

>> Okay, right, got it,

I'll fix the balls.

I'll get rid of those.

>> Okay, and, um...

>> I think you only see that

because you're expecting

swastikas, you know, because

I showed my wife,

and she had no idea.

>> Uh, John, is this a,

is this a joke to you?

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, is this funny?

>> No.

>> Because this is vital.

We need people to think about

balls and Nazis so that when

people think about balls and

Nazis, they start to feel guilty

and disgusted with themselves.

And then they'll wanna see one

of our, our beautiful Disney

movies.

We have to do it subliminally

or we'll, we'll upset our Jewish

viewers, John.

>> And when it comes to

swastikas, Jews are fascists.

>> Well, maybe, could we pick

something instead of a swastika?

I just feel like those are so

tough to hide, you know?

>> Okay, okay, if you're gonna

be all, "Can we pick something

other than a swastika,"

then we're gonna be all like,

"Can we pick somebody else

for this job?"

>> No, uh... please, I, I--

I really, I need this job.

I need it, okay, I appreciate

the opportunity and, if, if

you'd just look at my picture of

the first scene, maybe, maybe

that'll change your mind.

>> Sure.

>> Okay.

>> Okay.

>> Come on, man, what is this?

>> You're fired, John.

>> Okay.

I'll... you guys, I'll...

>> No, you can-- yeah,

we'll take it, thank you.

>> All right.

>> No, you can go, yeah.

>> Have a good one.

>> Yeah, thank you.

>> Yeah, no, they said they

could see JFK's head.

I know, I tried my best,

it just-- I don't know.

All right, love you too.

All right, bye.

(beeping off)

You really (bleep) me

in there, Carl.

>> Do you know when

I get to go home?

>> No.

**

>> Oh, man, David Alan Grier.

Hey.

(Muzak quietly playing)

I thought you were going,

you know...

>> Well, I'm, you know...

>> Right, no, I--

>> That's okay.

>> Well...

I love, I love the work

you do with your brothers

on "In Living Color."

>> Yeah, they're not my

brothers.

We're not related.

>> Oh.

(stammering) Well, I just,

I, I thought...

(horn honking)

(panicked panting)

**

>> Darnell?

>> Yes, Ingrid?

>> When you make varsity, are we

still gonna be together?

>> Of course, you know?

>> Okay.

>> All right, unless I make

varsity and go pro, all right?

Come here, mmm, mmm...

>> Well, no, I-- okay.

I think we can make this work

'cause I know how much you love

basketball, but I need you to

know how much I love you...

>> Shut up, Ingrid!

>> What, what is that?

What is that?

>> Uh, that's disg--

It's probably some bum trying to

watch us get busy.

>> Well, tell him to go away.

>> Uh... fine.

(laughing)

Hey, bum!

Making me sore!

Bum! Come on out, bum!

(screaming)

(howling)

>> All right, fellas,

welcome to tryouts.

We only got one spot

left on this team.

And right now,

I'm looking for the best

of the best.

>> (retching, coughing)

(snorting)

>> Jesus Christ, Darnell,

you look like (bleep)!

Did you go see the school nurse?

>> No need to, Coach.

Couple days ago

I got bit by a werewolf.

So all I gotta do is sit back

and wait for the superpowers

to kick in.

I'ma get super speed,

super agility,

and a gangload of super wolf

powers.

>> Oh, okay, okay.

You say you were bit by a wolf,

right?

>> Yes.

>> Son, you might have rabies,

man.

>> (chuckling) No.

I'm just transforming into

a basketball legend, Coach.

>> Okay.

(blows whistle)

Let's get started.

**

Darnell, that's traveling.

Look, son, just, just go to

the sideline, man.

Go take a nap or something.

>> Super speed and... (mumbling)

>> Go, Darnell, go!

>> (coughing)

>> That's my werewolf, man!

>> Tell 'em, Ingrid!

>> Look here, Darnell.

You're bleeding everywhere.

>> All part of the process,

Coach.

Old blood leaves.

Werewolf blood come in.

>> I believe you have rabies.

>> If I had rabies,

would I be able to do this?

(thudding to floor)

>> (blows whistle)

>> Yes, yes, nice ball, Marvin,

good job.

Darnell, Darnell!

>> (coughing)

(crying)

Coach, Coach, is that you,

Coach?

Am I dying, Coach?

>> No.

You're finally becoming that

werewolf.

>> Awesome!

(howling)

>> Darnell died that day.

And by the time the players at

the tryout were in their 40s,

they rarely ever thought about

him or his life, and Ingrid

found someone better.

(howling)

>> I'm Josh, this is, uh, Ralph.

We're young illustrators.

We made a drawing here.

We were wondering what do you

see 'cause we're trying

to do subtle art.

>> (Ralph laughing)

This looks like garlic to you?

>> I just got word one of you

dudes snitched.

We ain't leaving till I find

the narc, got it?

>> It wasn't me, bro.

My lips are sealed.

>> I'm no snitch.

>> Definitely not me.

I love drugs.

>> In a time when man ruled

drugs, one dinosaur ruled man.

The "Jurassic Narc."

Narcotics agent and dinosaur.

>> Ahh!

>> One of you dudes better

confess or I'm killing somebody.

>> All right, fellas, hands up,

come on, who did it?

God, this makes me so mad.

I'm such a good crook.

Hey, how 'bout we all go around

and say what our favorite drugs

are and, uh, where we hide 'em?

Uh, yeah, that'll be cool.

>> What's this?

Found it next to my supply.

>> Oh, man, that's weird.

I have no idea what that is.

>> What about you, Hugo?

>> Yeah, I think it's Hugo, too.

>> You know what this is?

>> Unreal, Hugo.

How could you, man?

>> Man, I don't know nothing,

dude.

I don't know what that is.

>> Hugo, this makes me so upset,

you know?

Hey, uh, remember that

drug game?

Uh, my favorite is Molly

and I keep it in my backpack.

>> Hmm, my favorite's LSD.

I like to keep it in my shoe.

>> Oh, wow, yeah,

LSD is so cool-- enough!

>> Freeze!

>> Hands up, dirtbag!

>> Dino, I shoulda known.

>> Great work, Jurassic Narc.

>> The game's afoot.

Yo, yo!

>> (man screaming)

>> And moving on.

One day the sun will

consume the Earth.

Also, it takes about eight

minutes for the sunlight

to reach Earth.

(chuckles)

And, you know, compared to

the other thing I was talking--

(laughter and giggling)

>> Uh, Mr. Gunther?

(laughing continues)

>> (screaming) Ahh!

Okay, avert your eyes!

Avert your eyes, class, okay?!

So, he just...

Oh, oh!

My computer's sick!

Oh, okay, don't look, don't

look, stop, stop looking-- ohh!

**

>> Brother and sisters!

A new decade is starting.

Yeah, that's right.

Membership is through the roof.

We have offices in 68 cities.

And check this out, most

exciting for me (chuckling)...

We got the funk.

Huh? Say it loud!

>> I'm black and I'm proud.

>> (bleep) damn, that song

is good.

I mean, that James Brown

is a mother(bleep).

That song there was the song

of the summer, mmm-mmm-mmm.

>> It actually came out

two summers ago.

>> Shut your damn mouth!

>> I was just saying--

>> Moving on!

They bringing the draft back

this year.

(all muttering)

And the black man

has no business fighting

the white man's war!

>> Hey, hey, guys, I'm Reggie.

It's my first meeting.

>> What's up, Reggie?

>> Oh, great points, Frank.

But this, uh, this one detail is

kind of nagging me and I know

it's sort of a technicality but,

uh, I'll just say it anyway.

Guys, there's actually no such

thing as a, as a black panther.

It's, it's mislabel.

When people say panther, they

typically refer to a mountain

lion or a cougar and, well,

there's no black variant of

that.

>> Brother Reggie, what the

(bleep) are you talking about?

>> Well, it's actually

Dr. Reggie and I'm

a zoologist.

What I'm trying to say is all

black panther sightings

are totally unsubstantiated.

I feel like by joining, I'm the

laughingstock of all my fellow

zoologists and...

well, those are some

cool guys, man--

>> Just shut up!

>> Frank, I mean, we could,

we could do leopards.

We call ourselves Black

Leopards, those are the best of

the big cats at climbing trees.

That's pretty awesome.

>> We've already made pamphlets,

brother.

>> Yeah.

>> How about Black Jaguars?

Don't you like the way that,

that sounds, huh?

The Black Jaguar Party?

>> Black Jaguar... (laughing)

Let me tell you something,

brother, we are not naming our

party after a white man's car

company.

(applause)

>> Guys, well...

I get what you're saying,

but we gotta do something.

>> There's something you can do,

Brother Reggie.

>> What, what is that?

>> You can just leave.

>> Well, fine, you know?

Maybe I'll start my own party!

The Black Leopard Party, Frank.

>> Reggie was right.

By 1972, the Black Panther Party

had dwindled to one location

with a total dissolve by 1982.

On the other hand,

The Black Leopard Party

was a huge success

including all six black

zoologists in the country.

They continue to fight for

the proper identification of

big, black cats to this day.

(horn honking)

>> (growls)

>> (bleep).

(horns honking)

>> (growls)

>> (bleep).

>> (bleep).

>> Hey, how you doing today?

I'm, uh...

>> I have to go down there.

>> Oh, no, problem.

I've been looking for my

dinosaur, have you noticed--

I've been trying to find him

and-- oh, my gosh!

There he is.

Oh, thank you so much.

I appreciate that.

Hey, you little (bleep)!

Where have you been all day?

Oh, that's funny to you.

I'll put you in the ground!

I'll bury you in the ground!

You wanna be in

the Museum of Natural History?

I'd be happy to put you there!

I reanimated you with DNA

only to have you make me

look like an idiot

in front of all of Wall Street!

You're a bastard.

>> Look, this guy

isn't listening.

He's never gonna release

the hostages.

We have to make that call.

>> Are you sure?

I mean, we're only supposed to

use them when all other options

are gone.

>> We have no choice.

I'm gonna call one of

the greatest hostage negotiators

to ever do it.

Future Hall-of-Famer

and former Ravens linebacker,

Ray Lewis!

>> (grunting)

(screaming)

>> All right, Ray.

I know you're busy from

motivating people.

But this is the situation.

This guy has four hostages.

He's asking for things

that we cannot provide.

What do you need from us, Ray?

>> Oh, that's very simple.

All I need is a megaphone

and a hairbrush.

>> A hair, a hairbrush?

>> You heard what I said, okay?

I gotta keep these waves tight.

And it's part of the plan.

It's part of God's plan,

so just do it!

>> Well, you heard the man.

Get him everything

he asked for, now!

(inaudible)

>> Now what's his name?

>> It's Byron.

>> Get back there.

What up, brother?

It's me, your favorite

linebacker and motivational

speaker, Ray Lewis!

>> Oh, (bleep), Ray Lewis!

What's up, Ray?!

Big fan!

Stop.

>> It's not loud enough.

Look here, son.

Everybody wanna see you get out

this situation without any harm.

Look here, Byron.

Your wife is here for you.

>> Ray Lewis, what are you

talking about, I'm not married!

>> Come on, man, you got this

beautiful, sexy woman right here

who wanna lick the mess out of

Ray Lewis waves.

Look, just let go

of the hostages.

>> That is not my wife!

>> Look who I found, Byron.

It's your mama.

Your mama don't want this

for you.

>> My mother passed away,

and I do miss her, but,

but that is not her!

>> Mr. Classdale,

your grade school teacher don't

want this for you!

You remember Mr. Classdale?

He helped you one time after you

was bit by those cicadas.

Oh, they bit you so bad.

>> I mean, I did get bit

by a bug once,

but they were fire ants!

>> Your right now

starts right now.

I'm the greatest linebacker

of all time.

Your decisions, my decisions,

they determine the outcome

of our lives.

>> So you mean to tell me

if I let go of these hostages,

I get a new wife

and possibly a signed photo

with you?

>> I got you.

God got you.

Your wife got you.

The polices got you.

They got you.

We want the best for you.

Let them hostages go!

(chanting) Let them hostages go!

Let them hostages go!

Byron, let them hostages go!

>> All right, go, go!

Go! I didn't like you anyway!

Where did Ray Lewis go?

Ahh!

(gagging)

>> That's right, I still go it.

My work here is done!

>> Look at this, we going

to the top of the Empire

State Building. (chuckling)

That is romantic, huh?

>> Yeah, no, it is romantic.

>> Thanks.

>> It's a bold choice for

a first date, but I like it.

I like your sweater, by the way.

I meant to tell you.

>> Oh, well, thanks, baby.

I just got it.

>> I just got it, too.

>> Uh, oh... okay.

(chuckling)

>> We look like twins.

>> More like triplets.

>> Oh, wow, wow.

>> Hey, we even got the same

shoes. (chuckling)

>> Oh, my God.

>> Ha.

>> Ahh!

(door thudding)

(distant screaming)

(glass shattering)

(screaming continues)

**

>> So Kevin's upstairs and he

has no idea that he's about

to walk in to a firing squad.

(all laughing)

>> How did you get so many guns?

>> He said don't shoot

for the head, and Kenny said

"I'm going for the head."

>> Okay, class.

The contraction begins.

Find a focal point.

Take a deep cleansing breath.

Good, good.

This rhythm makes the pain of

birth manageable and clears

the bloodstream of toxins for

the glorious being that has been

planted inside of you.

For the good of the little one

thriving in your body,

this stretch works the diaphragm

enlarging the chest cavity

allowing for louder, more

heartfelt relief screams.

Finally, when you're eight to

nine centimeters dilated,

separation from the host parent

is imminent.

>> All right, Laura,

everything's gonna be okay.

All right, honey?

>> Okay.

>> All right.

>> Ahh!

>> Class, we have an early

birth happening here with

Cory and Laura, and they're

handling it beautifully.

>> It's dancing on my heart!

>> Just calm down, babe, okay?

Just-- oh!

>> (chuckling)

>> It hurts! (chuckling)

The pressures of birth!

>> Cory, don't focus on the

pain, focus on that beautiful,

new alien life.

>> I'm trying, I'm trying,

but it hurts.

Lot of blood I'm losing.

(chuckling)

Oh! Oh! This thing got teeth!

Why did I think Lamaze class

would help?

>> Look, I can't do this, baby.

I'm sorry.

You're on your own.

Sorry about that.

>> Tre, you can't leave me!

>> My butt's gonna pop!

Ahh!

>> Oh, goodness, an ass birth.

It's a beautiful and rare

condition, plus, the safest

delivery method.

>> Ahh!

>> Put this up your ass!

Ha ha! Yeah!

>> Another lesson, class.

Nine in ten hosts

don't survive birth.

>> Hey, everybody who wants to

take a picture with the cast of

"Friends of the People"?

>> Part of it.

>> Or the dinosaur!

>> Or the dinosaur.

Make a pick.

>> You have a choice.

You wanna pick-- oh, you chose

the dinosaur.

All right, that's fine.

(shutter clicking)

>> Aw, that's a nice picture.

That's good.

>> "Friends of the People"

or the dinosaur?

>> The dinosaur.

>> The dinosaur...

>> It's all good.

Yeah, no, yeah, no...

>> I get it, that's true, man.

>> Well phrased.

>> I'm not even upset.

>> You wanna take a picture with

"Friends of the People"?

>> Or the dinosaur,

you can pick.

>> Dinosaur.

>> Yeah!

>> There we go.

>> That is a good picture.

>> That's a great picture.

Thank you so much for supporting

the dinosaur!

>> Fans are in full force.