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**
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>> Is the the line for the
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bathroom?
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>> Yeah, someone's in there.
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(thinking) Or at least I think
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someone's in there?
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I mean, I tried the handle and
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it didn't move, so someone's in
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there, right?
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Oh, I hope it's not just
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a sticky door.
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What if it's just a sticky door
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and no one's in there!
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This is so much pressure.
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Shouldn't be long.
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>> Okay, cool.
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>> Damn, you're waiting for the
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bathroom, too?
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>> Yeah, someone's in there.
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(thinking) That's right, be
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assertive.
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You can handle this.
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This is your line.
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I'm gonna die if it's just
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a sticky door.
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Oh, sorry, there's a line.
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>> Oh, sorry.
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I didn't see, sorry.
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>> Sure, she didn't.
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>> Nice.
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>> (thinking) That's right,
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you've earned their respect.
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You are in charge of this line.
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You, Carl, are their leader.
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>> Whoa... long line, man.
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>> Yup.
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>> Yeah, someone's probably
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taking a deuce.
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(thinking) Great joke, so funny.
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I am so charismatic.
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Everyone loves me.
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(chuckling)
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Time to turn it up a notch.
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Hello?
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People are waiting.
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(thinking) Power move!
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You have this whole situation
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under control.
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You aren't the head of the line
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by accident... it's destiny!
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>> This line is taking forever.
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>> Yeah, I know, are you sure
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somebody's in the bathroom, man?
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>> Yeah, what if the door is
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just sticky or something?
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>> Yeah, just push the door in.
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>> No, no, I'm not lying.
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I gave it, I gave it...
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>> Do something.
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>> (thinking) They've lost faith
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in you, Carl.
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You are a pathetic loser.
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What made you think you could
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handle this responsibility?
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You are a back-of-the-line
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follower, not a
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front-of-the-line leader.
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You should just get out of line
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and piss your pants.
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I was right.
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>> Sorry.
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>> (Carl thinking) There was
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someone in the bathroom.
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Now I will set a new precedent
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for how quickly to use the
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bathroom.
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(toilet flushing)
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Because you are king, Carl.
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You are the king and it's time
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for everyone to meet King Carl.
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It's been an honor.
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But now I shall pass on my
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throne.
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I made this out of toilet paper.
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Paper towel, too-- oh, oh, wow.
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**
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(theme music playing)
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>> "Come on, Dad" is filmed in
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front of a live studio audience.
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>> What do you think we're gonna
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find in the time capsule, Mom?
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>> I don't know, Ernie,
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and that's part of the fun.
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It's a glimpse into the past.
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>> I mean, come to think of it,
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I don't even know what's in
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there, I mean, we buried it when
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you was just a baby, Ernie.
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>> Now he's a full-grown dweeb.
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>> That's enough, Sam.
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>> All right, everybody,
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here we go, let's see
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what's in this box.
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>> Oh, sweet, Dad, nice!
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>> All right, here we go.
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Okay, let's see what the Duggett
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family was doing seven years go!
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>> Jesus Christ, Lewis.
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You're a moron.
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That's where you buried the dog.
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>> You put Stinky in the time
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capsule, Dad?
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>> (retching)
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>> Oh, God, Lewis,
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you see what you did?
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>> Oh, for (bleep) sake, Doreen.
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Okay, you act like I did it
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on purpose.
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I dug up the wrong spot,
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(bleep) damn it!
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>> You said Stinky got a job
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and had to move to Sacramento.
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>> Yeah, well, you know,
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it wasn't Sacramento.
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>> We lied, Ernie, we lied!
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>> Lewis!
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>> The kid's nine, Doreen!
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You think he's gonna believe
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that a dog got a (bleep) job!
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He's dead, Ernie!
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>> (retching)
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(theme music playing)
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**
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(chatter)
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>> Can't believe I'm here
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for this.
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>> All right, guys, quiet,
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quiet, come on, please, guys.
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Listen to me, look, for some odd
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reason, people are complaining
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about us cracking the skulls of
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innocent New Yorkers and getting
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away with it.
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>> That's so stupid, you know?
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We gotta sit around waiting for
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people to commit crimes?
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Don't they realize how that's
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gonna limit our opportunity
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to beat people's asses?
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Why do we gotta suffer?
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>> Because New Yorker's
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are stupid, okay?
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Yo, even, when they have
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a video of us committing
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blatant violence,
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we still get away with it.
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But they won't shut up about it
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so Reverend Sharp is here
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to help us...
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(all booing)
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...end police brutality.
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(booing continues)
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I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
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>> Boo!
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>> (blowing raspberry) You suck!
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>> Hey, guys, knock it off,
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all right?
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I demand you treat
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Reverend Sharp with respect
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while he's here, okay?
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When you catch him on
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the street, you can do what
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you want to him.
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Reverend Sharp,
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you have the floor.
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>> I can't wait.
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>> All right, then, look here.
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I've-- I've come up with a new
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system to police... the police.
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So what we're gonna do is,
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we're gonna hire referees
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to referee... the police.
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>> Ahh, ahh!
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(whistle blows)
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>> Personal foul,
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unnecessary roughness!
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>> Ahh!
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>> All right, so Reverend
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Sharp's referee idea did not
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work, uh, there have been
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reports of police beating people
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with the bodies of the referees.
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>> Yeah-ha-ha!
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Chaos reigns!
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(laughing)
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The streets run red with blood!
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Whoo!
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>> Look here,
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I have another idea.
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>> Hey! No gun throwing!
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>> Uh, I'm sorry.
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>> Forgiven.
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>> (clearing throat)
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The problem is, the police are
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not scared of the referees.
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So what I propose is that we
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assign a professional wrestler
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and a professional football
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player to every precinct.
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So let me introduce defensive
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tackle for the New York Giants,
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Mr. Jay Bromley and the first
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Royal Rumble winner,
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Mr. "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan.
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>> Holy (bleep).
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>> 'Cause I'm a cop,
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you understand me?!
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Which means I can do whatever
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I want and I'll break your...
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All right, so no more
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jaywalking, you understand me?
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Have a good day.
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>> Officer, did you just
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pee yourself?
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>> Yeah.
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>> Who cares of you're innocent?
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>> Hey, hey, I'll shove that
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nightstick up your ass!
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>> I know, I know.
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>> Well, beat it, tough guy!
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Ho!
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>> Good news, crime is down and
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complaints of police brutality
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are non-existent.
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We did it.
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(laughing)
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>> All right, I'll take it
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off the board.
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(sighing)
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All right, you wanna get lunch?
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Wanna get lunch?
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Lunch, lunch, okay.
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>> Sorry, there's a line.
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>> There's a line.
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>> For the subway.
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>> Yeah, I don't know, there
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just, there-- there's a line.
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There's a line, sir.
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>> A line, for what?
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>> The subway.
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>> For the subway.
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>> For the subway?
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>> Yeah, it was overfilled.
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>> (Bleep) up.
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>> We're all trying to get
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on the subway.
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>> It's backed up down there,
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so...
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>> The MTA or something.
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>> What is the hold-up?!
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(man laughing)
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**
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>> What else y'all gonna do?
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Go, Josh, go!
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>> I don't want to.
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>> Oh...
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>> I don't really want to.
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Why?
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What?
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Say what?
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I don't want to!
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>> (Rel laughing)
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>> (Josh screaming)
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What are you doing?!
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What are you doing?!
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What are you doing?!
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>> (Rel laughing continues)
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>> What the (bleep)!
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>> Oh, (bleep)!
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>> (screaming) Oh, (bleep)!
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>> (Rel laughing)
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(all laughing)
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**
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(wind whistling)
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>> Is that a real raccoon?
286
00:08:19,567 --> 00:08:20,467
(raccoon chittering)
287
00:08:20,467 --> 00:08:22,397
>> Yeah.
288
00:08:22,402 --> 00:08:24,042
>> How's he gonna remember
289
00:08:24,037 --> 00:08:24,767
his lines?
290
00:08:24,772 --> 00:08:26,442
>> Can't imagine it will.
291
00:08:26,439 --> 00:08:28,539
(chittering)
292
00:08:28,542 --> 00:08:30,612
Shoot's gonna take forever.
293
00:08:31,945 --> 00:08:33,475
>> Hey, why are you green?
294
00:08:33,480 --> 00:08:35,950
>> Yeah, you sick?
295
00:08:35,949 --> 00:08:37,279
>> This has been...
296
00:08:40,220 --> 00:08:42,020
**
297
00:08:44,457 --> 00:08:46,227
(studio audience applause)
298
00:08:46,226 --> 00:08:47,386
>> So let's give thanks this
299
00:08:47,394 --> 00:08:49,234
Thanksgiving to little Ernie and
300
00:08:49,229 --> 00:08:52,769
Sam and this lovely meal, amen.
301
00:08:52,766 --> 00:08:54,266
>> Aren't you gonna say thanks
302
00:08:54,267 --> 00:08:55,797
for Dad, Mom?
303
00:08:55,803 --> 00:08:56,943
>> I'm not feeling too thankful
304
00:08:56,937 --> 00:08:58,167
for your dad right now.
305
00:08:58,171 --> 00:08:59,911
Not now that he's stuck in the
306
00:08:59,907 --> 00:09:00,937
doggie door!
307
00:09:00,941 --> 00:09:02,911
>> Hey, look, I'm not too
308
00:09:02,910 --> 00:09:05,410
thankful, either.
309
00:09:05,412 --> 00:09:08,082
>> What man is so lazy that he
310
00:09:08,081 --> 00:09:09,421
would try to slide through the
311
00:09:09,416 --> 00:09:10,916
doggie door rather than use his
312
00:09:10,918 --> 00:09:11,648
house keys?
313
00:09:11,652 --> 00:09:12,822
>> You knew I was a lazy man
314
00:09:12,820 --> 00:09:15,360
when you married me, Doreen!
315
00:09:15,355 --> 00:09:16,815
>> All the neighbors can see
316
00:09:16,824 --> 00:09:18,764
your ass!
317
00:09:20,293 --> 00:09:21,603
>> Look here, Doreen,
318
00:09:21,595 --> 00:09:24,095
shut your trap, drunk ass!
319
00:09:24,097 --> 00:09:26,127
Damn!
320
00:09:26,133 --> 00:09:27,133
>> I don't even know why we
321
00:09:27,134 --> 00:09:28,144
still have the doggie door.
322
00:09:28,135 --> 00:09:29,265
I mean, it's not like Stinky
323
00:09:29,269 --> 00:09:31,099
needs it.
324
00:09:31,104 --> 00:09:32,444
>> (Ernie sobbing)
325
00:09:32,439 --> 00:09:33,439
>> Sorry, sorry.
326
00:09:33,440 --> 00:09:34,440
>> Well, look who's ruining
327
00:09:34,441 --> 00:09:36,781
Thanksgiving now.
328
00:09:36,777 --> 00:09:37,947
Bring that turkey, Sam.
329
00:09:37,945 --> 00:09:38,975
>> Samantha Jane, no, you do
330
00:09:38,979 --> 00:09:39,709
not bring him that turkey.
331
00:09:39,713 --> 00:09:40,553
Samantha!
332
00:09:40,547 --> 00:09:41,447
>> Thank you, baby girl.
333
00:09:41,448 --> 00:09:42,618
Oh, (bleep)!
334
00:09:42,616 --> 00:09:44,476
>> Oh! It's all over
335
00:09:44,484 --> 00:09:45,454
the linoleum.
336
00:09:45,452 --> 00:09:46,852
There's grease everywhere,
337
00:09:46,854 --> 00:09:47,524
Lewis.
338
00:09:47,520 --> 00:09:48,960
>> Looks like there's two
339
00:09:48,956 --> 00:09:50,756
turkeys on the floor now.
340
00:09:51,859 --> 00:09:53,459
>> This how a real man saves
341
00:09:53,460 --> 00:09:54,360
Thanksgiving.
342
00:09:54,361 --> 00:09:55,061
(laughing)
343
00:09:55,062 --> 00:09:55,962
(screaming)
344
00:09:55,963 --> 00:09:57,163
Ahh! Damn it!
345
00:09:57,164 --> 00:09:58,174
My f--
346
00:09:58,165 --> 00:10:00,095
(theme music playing)
347
00:10:02,069 --> 00:10:04,169
**
348
00:10:04,171 --> 00:10:05,071
>> Yo, you wanna cruise over
349
00:10:05,072 --> 00:10:06,072
to Derrick's?
350
00:10:06,073 --> 00:10:07,243
>> I'm starving, man, I need...
351
00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:08,380
>> They're definitely related.
352
00:10:08,375 --> 00:10:10,575
Yo, what up, man!
353
00:10:10,577 --> 00:10:11,707
How you guys doing, huh?!
354
00:10:11,712 --> 00:10:13,312
Sick-ass skateboard threads
355
00:10:13,313 --> 00:10:14,313
you guys are rocking.
356
00:10:14,314 --> 00:10:15,724
So what you animals ride, huh?
357
00:10:15,716 --> 00:10:17,346
Element decks or what?
358
00:10:17,350 --> 00:10:18,490
>> Uh...
359
00:10:18,485 --> 00:10:19,145
>> It's...
360
00:10:19,152 --> 00:10:20,322
>> You (bleep) don't skateboard!
361
00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:22,620
You posers just got exposed!
362
00:10:25,993 --> 00:10:27,193
What's up bros and bras?
363
00:10:27,194 --> 00:10:29,034
Name's Duffy and I'm here to do
364
00:10:29,029 --> 00:10:31,329
one thing and one thing only,
365
00:10:31,331 --> 00:10:33,001
and that's expose posers.
366
00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:34,370
Like these frauds!
367
00:10:34,367 --> 00:10:35,337
(laughing)
368
00:10:35,335 --> 00:10:37,435
Hey! So you into groove metal,
369
00:10:37,437 --> 00:10:38,107
huh?
370
00:10:38,105 --> 00:10:39,105
So what type of ax
371
00:10:39,106 --> 00:10:39,836
you shredding?
372
00:10:39,840 --> 00:10:40,670
>> Uh, well...
373
00:10:40,674 --> 00:10:41,844
>> (interrupting grunting)
374
00:10:41,842 --> 00:10:42,712
>> No, I...
375
00:10:42,710 --> 00:10:43,580
>> (interrupting grunting)
376
00:10:43,576 --> 00:10:44,436
>> I...
377
00:10:44,444 --> 00:10:45,184
>> (interrupting grunting)
378
00:10:45,178 --> 00:10:46,008
Shut up, man!
379
00:10:46,013 --> 00:10:48,553
That poser just got exposed!
380
00:10:48,548 --> 00:10:49,948
Ooh, military boys.
381
00:10:49,950 --> 00:10:51,720
Hey, so tell me, what's a
382
00:10:51,719 --> 00:10:53,689
standard urban bridge maneuver?
383
00:10:53,687 --> 00:10:55,357
>> Oh, we're just actors.
384
00:10:55,355 --> 00:10:56,285
>> These posers just got (bleep)
385
00:10:56,289 --> 00:10:57,689
exposed!
386
00:10:57,691 --> 00:10:58,861
(roaring)
387
00:10:58,859 --> 00:11:00,129
Exposed!
388
00:11:00,127 --> 00:11:01,697
>> We're actors, you jacka--
389
00:11:01,695 --> 00:11:03,525
>> Hey, dick, what's the price
390
00:11:03,530 --> 00:11:04,360
of crude oil?
391
00:11:04,364 --> 00:11:05,234
>> Excuse me--
392
00:11:05,232 --> 00:11:07,632
(buzzer sounding)
393
00:11:07,634 --> 00:11:09,874
(grunting)
394
00:11:09,870 --> 00:11:12,410
(horn blaring)
395
00:11:12,405 --> 00:11:13,535
All right, so right around the
396
00:11:13,540 --> 00:11:15,280
corner, we got these two posers
397
00:11:15,275 --> 00:11:16,305
we're gonna--
398
00:11:16,309 --> 00:11:16,979
>> Who are you talking to?
399
00:11:16,977 --> 00:11:17,637
>> What?
400
00:11:17,644 --> 00:11:19,614
>> Like, what are you doing?
401
00:11:22,115 --> 00:11:24,075
>> What?
402
00:11:24,084 --> 00:11:25,754
>> Are you--
403
00:11:25,753 --> 00:11:26,553
are you posing like you have
404
00:11:26,553 --> 00:11:27,553
a TV show?
405
00:11:27,554 --> 00:11:29,464
>> (chuckling)
406
00:11:33,560 --> 00:11:34,730
Look, it's like this,
407
00:11:34,728 --> 00:11:35,558
me and my guys--
408
00:11:35,562 --> 00:11:37,102
>> Spit it out.
409
00:11:37,097 --> 00:11:38,067
What the hell are you doing,
410
00:11:38,065 --> 00:11:40,065
then?
411
00:11:40,067 --> 00:11:41,497
>> I got this thing.
412
00:11:41,501 --> 00:11:43,471
(sobbing)
413
00:11:50,277 --> 00:11:51,947
(distorted) I just got exposed!
414
00:11:55,115 --> 00:11:56,345
>> So, uh, Rel's been stuck in
415
00:11:56,349 --> 00:11:57,749
his doggie door all afternoon.
416
00:11:57,751 --> 00:11:58,921
>> For several hours.
417
00:11:58,919 --> 00:11:59,619
>> Yeah, he's miserable.
418
00:11:59,619 --> 00:12:00,689
His ass is out in the air.
419
00:12:00,687 --> 00:12:01,587
His legs are cold.
420
00:12:01,588 --> 00:12:02,918
>> It's legitimately outside.
421
00:12:02,923 --> 00:12:03,663
>> So we thought,
422
00:12:03,656 --> 00:12:05,356
why not take his shoes?
423
00:12:05,358 --> 00:12:07,428
>> Okay, fine.
424
00:12:07,427 --> 00:12:09,257
(crew chatter)
425
00:12:16,603 --> 00:12:17,873
>> Whoa.
426
00:12:17,871 --> 00:12:19,441
Hey, man, what-- hey, stop!
427
00:12:19,439 --> 00:12:20,609
>> Get his shoes.
428
00:12:20,607 --> 00:12:22,177
>> What are y'all doing?
429
00:12:22,175 --> 00:12:23,635
Stop!
430
00:12:23,643 --> 00:12:25,513
Hey, man, cut it out!
431
00:12:25,512 --> 00:12:27,452
Damn it.
432
00:12:27,447 --> 00:12:28,517
Hey, man.
433
00:12:28,515 --> 00:12:29,645
What's wrong with y'all?
434
00:12:29,649 --> 00:12:31,449
(crew laughing)
435
00:12:31,451 --> 00:12:33,351
(laughing)
436
00:12:43,997 --> 00:12:45,127
Trying to-- trying to
437
00:12:45,132 --> 00:12:46,502
make a TV show, y'all.
438
00:12:46,499 --> 00:12:48,969
(all laughing)
439
00:12:48,969 --> 00:12:50,839
**
440
00:12:56,977 --> 00:12:57,977
>> All right, you ready?
441
00:12:57,978 --> 00:12:59,878
All right.
442
00:13:06,486 --> 00:13:07,246
>> What do we do?
443
00:13:07,254 --> 00:13:08,324
>> I'ma pick you up.
444
00:13:08,321 --> 00:13:09,661
>> You're gonna pick me up.
445
00:13:09,656 --> 00:13:10,816
>> Go!
446
00:13:10,824 --> 00:13:13,034
>> Ahh!
447
00:13:13,026 --> 00:13:14,786
>> (Rel laughing)
448
00:13:17,030 --> 00:13:18,770
That's all I had.
449
00:13:18,765 --> 00:13:20,165
Josh is a lot fatter
450
00:13:20,167 --> 00:13:20,997
than I thought.
451
00:13:21,001 --> 00:13:22,871
(laughing)
452
00:13:28,041 --> 00:13:30,181
**
453
00:13:30,177 --> 00:13:31,237
>> Hi, I'm Kenny Lucas.
454
00:13:31,244 --> 00:13:32,514
>> And I'm Keith Lucas.
455
00:13:32,512 --> 00:13:34,182
>> And we're brothers.
456
00:13:34,181 --> 00:13:35,421
>> Oh, yeah, we have a lot of
457
00:13:35,415 --> 00:13:37,115
love in our life.
458
00:13:37,117 --> 00:13:38,017
>> But we realize we were
459
00:13:38,018 --> 00:13:39,588
incomplete, that there was a
460
00:13:39,586 --> 00:13:41,386
hole in our heart and our lives
461
00:13:41,388 --> 00:13:42,758
have no meaning at all.
462
00:13:42,755 --> 00:13:43,885
>> And we knew there was only
463
00:13:43,891 --> 00:13:45,091
one thing that could change our
464
00:13:45,092 --> 00:13:46,362
dead souls.
465
00:13:46,359 --> 00:13:48,659
>> Our very own monster truck.
466
00:13:51,264 --> 00:13:52,274
>> The monster truck
467
00:13:52,265 --> 00:13:54,065
is perfection.
468
00:13:54,067 --> 00:13:54,727
>> Yeah, you don't need any
469
00:13:54,734 --> 00:13:56,044
special kind of license to drive
470
00:13:56,036 --> 00:13:56,936
a monster truck.
471
00:13:56,937 --> 00:13:58,037
>> And while technically not
472
00:13:58,038 --> 00:13:59,538
street legal, good luck trying
473
00:13:59,539 --> 00:14:01,269
to stop a two-ton 1,500
474
00:14:01,274 --> 00:14:02,644
horsepower behemoth.
475
00:14:02,642 --> 00:14:03,882
>> That's a lot of horsepower.
476
00:14:03,877 --> 00:14:04,537
>> That's a ton.
477
00:14:04,544 --> 00:14:05,384
>> You said behemoth.
478
00:14:05,378 --> 00:14:06,108
>> I said behemoth.
479
00:14:06,113 --> 00:14:07,113
>> So what will we do
480
00:14:07,114 --> 00:14:09,054
with this thing, you might ask?
481
00:14:09,049 --> 00:14:10,419
>> How about look cool as hell?
482
00:14:10,417 --> 00:14:12,047
Plus, if we had our own monster
483
00:14:12,052 --> 00:14:13,722
truck, we'd promise to drive
484
00:14:13,720 --> 00:14:15,790
over baby strollers...
485
00:14:15,788 --> 00:14:16,888
(baby crying)
486
00:14:16,890 --> 00:14:19,060
Boxes full of cargo.
487
00:14:19,059 --> 00:14:20,229
>> Potato chips, too.
488
00:14:20,227 --> 00:14:21,557
>> But monster trucks cost
489
00:14:21,561 --> 00:14:22,761
money.
490
00:14:22,762 --> 00:14:23,662
>> That's where the good people
491
00:14:23,663 --> 00:14:24,903
of Kickstarter come in.
492
00:14:24,898 --> 00:14:27,598
>> We need $225,000.
493
00:14:27,600 --> 00:14:28,900
>> So give it to us.
494
00:14:28,902 --> 00:14:30,442
>> For $1,000, we'll pull out a
495
00:14:30,437 --> 00:14:31,567
loose tooth with the monster
496
00:14:31,571 --> 00:14:32,441
truck.
497
00:14:32,439 --> 00:14:33,469
(snapping)
498
00:14:33,473 --> 00:14:34,343
>> Oh, oh!
499
00:14:34,341 --> 00:14:36,111
>> For a small $10,000 fee,
500
00:14:36,109 --> 00:14:37,279
you can help us pick our
501
00:14:37,277 --> 00:14:38,477
nickname for the truck.
502
00:14:38,478 --> 00:14:40,008
>> Yeah, like Hell On Earth.
503
00:14:40,013 --> 00:14:41,483
Or Bigger...
504
00:14:41,481 --> 00:14:42,521
>> Bigger Foot.
505
00:14:42,515 --> 00:14:43,315
>> Or Bigger Foot.
506
00:14:43,316 --> 00:14:44,016
>> Yeah.
507
00:14:44,017 --> 00:14:45,587
>> Or Diarrhea Machine.
508
00:14:45,585 --> 00:14:46,785
>> All right, full disclosure,
509
00:14:46,786 --> 00:14:47,486
we're going with
510
00:14:47,487 --> 00:14:48,317
Diarrhea Machine,
511
00:14:48,321 --> 00:14:49,261
that's the obvious choice.
512
00:14:49,256 --> 00:14:49,956
>> Yeah.
513
00:14:49,957 --> 00:14:52,127
>> For $50,000, we will drive
514
00:14:52,125 --> 00:14:53,425
over a person.
515
00:14:53,426 --> 00:14:55,426
>> Like Josh.
516
00:14:55,428 --> 00:14:56,258
>> This is something
517
00:14:56,263 --> 00:14:57,503
we've wanted our whole lives.
518
00:14:57,497 --> 00:14:59,027
So now we're putting our faith
519
00:14:59,032 --> 00:15:00,002
in the streets.
520
00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:01,370
>> Thank you for your time and
521
00:15:01,368 --> 00:15:02,438
support, guys.
522
00:15:02,435 --> 00:15:03,995
God bless.
523
00:15:08,508 --> 00:15:10,638
**
524
00:15:10,643 --> 00:15:12,383
>> Daddy needs a new pair
525
00:15:12,379 --> 00:15:13,279
of shoes.
526
00:15:13,280 --> 00:15:14,510
(laughing)
527
00:15:14,514 --> 00:15:15,624
>> Daddy needs more hair
528
00:15:15,615 --> 00:15:17,815
on his head.
529
00:15:17,817 --> 00:15:19,147
>> Sounds like someone's a
530
00:15:19,152 --> 00:15:20,952
little jealous of Daddy's style.
531
00:15:20,954 --> 00:15:21,964
>> Ooh.
532
00:15:21,955 --> 00:15:23,615
(chuckling)
533
00:15:23,623 --> 00:15:24,663
Oh, hey, Ernie,
534
00:15:24,657 --> 00:15:25,327
where you been, pal?
535
00:15:25,325 --> 00:15:26,285
>> I've been playing with my
536
00:15:26,293 --> 00:15:27,793
imaginary friend, Brutus.
537
00:15:27,794 --> 00:15:28,964
Do you wanna meet him?
538
00:15:28,962 --> 00:15:30,132
>> With a name like that,
539
00:15:30,130 --> 00:15:31,360
who wouldn't?
540
00:15:31,364 --> 00:15:32,304
>> This is Brutus.
541
00:15:32,299 --> 00:15:33,629
He loves sandwiches.
542
00:15:33,633 --> 00:15:34,903
>> Holy (bleep)!
543
00:15:34,901 --> 00:15:36,471
(gunshots)
544
00:15:36,469 --> 00:15:38,069
>> Oh, oh, oh, oh!
545
00:15:38,071 --> 00:15:39,241
>> Lewis!
546
00:15:39,239 --> 00:15:40,169
>> Dad!
547
00:15:40,173 --> 00:15:41,313
>> Holy (bleep), Ernie,
548
00:15:41,308 --> 00:15:42,078
are you okay?
549
00:15:42,075 --> 00:15:43,305
>> Dad, you killed Brutus!
550
00:15:43,310 --> 00:15:44,310
He was--
551
00:15:44,311 --> 00:15:45,151
>> I don't give a (bleep)
552
00:15:45,145 --> 00:15:46,175
what he-- what the...
553
00:15:46,179 --> 00:15:47,309
what the (bleep) is this?
554
00:15:47,314 --> 00:15:48,724
>> Lewis, why are you carrying
555
00:15:48,715 --> 00:15:49,815
a gun in the house?
556
00:15:49,816 --> 00:15:50,876
>> I don't know, maybe
557
00:15:50,883 --> 00:15:53,193
for (bleep) like this!
558
00:15:53,186 --> 00:15:54,646
>> Is Brutus going to be okay?
559
00:15:54,654 --> 00:15:55,664
(Brutus moaning)
560
00:15:55,655 --> 00:15:56,485
>> Jesus Christ, Lewis.
561
00:15:56,489 --> 00:15:58,029
There is blue blood all over my
562
00:15:58,025 --> 00:15:59,225
hardwood floor.
563
00:15:59,226 --> 00:16:00,856
>> Who gives a (bleep)!
564
00:16:00,860 --> 00:16:01,760
You know something,
565
00:16:01,761 --> 00:16:02,731
y'all are so unappreciative,
566
00:16:02,729 --> 00:16:03,529
I can't do this no more.
567
00:16:03,530 --> 00:16:04,830
How about I just blow my brains
568
00:16:04,831 --> 00:16:06,001
out and me and this
569
00:16:05,999 --> 00:16:07,099
blue mother(bleep) go back there
570
00:16:07,100 --> 00:16:08,070
with Stinky and lay
571
00:16:08,068 --> 00:16:09,998
in the (bleep) dirt?!
572
00:16:14,007 --> 00:16:15,637
(theme music playing)
573
00:16:19,412 --> 00:16:20,252
>> Now, do you both believe
574
00:16:20,247 --> 00:16:21,847
that you can get into the cab
575
00:16:21,848 --> 00:16:23,178
without a ladder?
576
00:16:23,183 --> 00:16:24,623
>> Yeah, I think I can get in.
577
00:16:24,617 --> 00:16:25,287
>> Yes, sure.
578
00:16:25,285 --> 00:16:26,085
>> Three...
579
00:16:26,086 --> 00:16:26,786
>> Wait.
580
00:16:26,786 --> 00:16:27,446
>> Oh, yeah.
581
00:16:27,454 --> 00:16:29,164
>> Two... one, go!
582
00:16:36,463 --> 00:16:37,863
>> Keith, you left the door
583
00:16:37,864 --> 00:16:38,604
wide open.
584
00:16:38,598 --> 00:16:39,298
Oh, maybe not.
585
00:16:39,299 --> 00:16:40,899
>> Oh, it's Kenny!
586
00:16:40,900 --> 00:16:41,930
(laughing)
587
00:16:41,934 --> 00:16:43,404
It's Kenny.
588
00:16:43,403 --> 00:16:45,313
>> I won, what do I get?
589
00:16:45,305 --> 00:16:46,535
>> Nothing.
590
00:16:46,539 --> 00:16:47,439
>> Well, you know, I tried
591
00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:48,280
something different.
592
00:16:48,275 --> 00:16:50,135
I try to think outside the box.
593
00:16:50,143 --> 00:16:51,943
And I lost.
594
00:16:51,944 --> 00:16:54,054
Now my jeans are all dirty.
595
00:16:55,582 --> 00:16:56,722
Ted Turner?
596
00:16:56,716 --> 00:16:57,776
(crew laughing)
597
00:16:57,784 --> 00:16:58,754
Ted Turner, I need some new, uh,
598
00:16:58,751 --> 00:17:00,051
I need some new jeans.
599
00:17:00,053 --> 00:17:01,323
(laughing)
600
00:17:01,321 --> 00:17:02,891
And I'm coming for you, Ted.
601
00:17:02,889 --> 00:17:04,219
(laughing)
602
00:17:04,224 --> 00:17:06,134
**
603
00:17:09,929 --> 00:17:11,559
>> Cut!
604
00:17:11,564 --> 00:17:13,404
(panting)
605
00:17:16,403 --> 00:17:19,273
>> Hey, I'm Kevin Barnett from
606
00:17:19,272 --> 00:17:20,412
"Friends of the People."
607
00:17:20,407 --> 00:17:21,667
I've played a lot of diverse
608
00:17:21,674 --> 00:17:22,684
roles on this show,
609
00:17:22,675 --> 00:17:24,435
such as Brutus,
610
00:17:24,444 --> 00:17:25,754
the imaginary friend.
611
00:17:25,745 --> 00:17:28,515
Bigfoot, Ice Cream Cone Dude
612
00:17:28,515 --> 00:17:30,445
and guy with a chainsaw,
613
00:17:30,450 --> 00:17:32,090
where my face was covered.
614
00:17:32,085 --> 00:17:33,415
The thing I bring to the table
615
00:17:33,420 --> 00:17:34,590
when I'm playing roles such as
616
00:17:34,587 --> 00:17:37,017
that is, well, the facial
617
00:17:37,023 --> 00:17:38,133
expressions I make behind
618
00:17:38,125 --> 00:17:39,255
the mask.
619
00:17:39,259 --> 00:17:41,329
Every day... (chuckling)
620
00:17:41,328 --> 00:17:42,758
for me, uh, is a nightmare.
621
00:17:42,762 --> 00:17:43,832
(crew laughing)
622
00:17:43,830 --> 00:17:45,130
And...
623
00:17:45,132 --> 00:17:46,102
(all laughing)
624
00:17:46,099 --> 00:17:46,929
...this is what my friends
625
00:17:46,933 --> 00:17:48,843
have done to me.
626
00:17:48,835 --> 00:17:51,165
>> Tyler Perry, I must say,
627
00:17:51,171 --> 00:17:52,311
I think you're the next big
628
00:17:52,305 --> 00:17:53,935
thing.
629
00:17:53,940 --> 00:17:54,940
>> Thank you.
630
00:17:54,941 --> 00:17:56,781
>> I'm so glad we found you.
631
00:17:56,776 --> 00:17:58,506
>> I'm glad that you did, too.
632
00:17:58,511 --> 00:18:00,881
>> Your potential as a
633
00:18:00,880 --> 00:18:03,280
shape-shifter is unparalleled.
634
00:18:03,283 --> 00:18:05,453
Your ability to transform into
635
00:18:05,452 --> 00:18:07,892
any old black man or old black
636
00:18:07,887 --> 00:18:09,957
woman you choose, coupled with
637
00:18:09,956 --> 00:18:11,486
your impeccable comedic timing,
638
00:18:11,491 --> 00:18:13,691
make you a force to be
639
00:18:13,693 --> 00:18:14,633
reckoned with.
640
00:18:14,627 --> 00:18:16,127
Tyler Perry,
641
00:18:16,129 --> 00:18:19,299
welcome to the X-Men.
642
00:18:22,669 --> 00:18:24,599
**
643
00:18:44,991 --> 00:18:45,891
>> Y'all hurry up and finish
644
00:18:45,892 --> 00:18:46,662
these grits now.
645
00:18:46,659 --> 00:18:48,429
>> I don't wanna eat these.
646
00:18:48,428 --> 00:18:49,498
>> I swear to God, you--
647
00:18:49,496 --> 00:18:51,996
Oh, oh, I'm sorry, Jean.
648
00:18:51,998 --> 00:18:53,198
Baby Jean, I'm sorry.
649
00:18:53,200 --> 00:18:54,700
I need to calm down before
650
00:18:54,701 --> 00:18:55,741
I mess these nails up.
651
00:18:55,735 --> 00:18:57,735
And I just got these nails done.
652
00:18:57,737 --> 00:18:59,167
But you run your mouth again,
653
00:18:59,172 --> 00:19:00,012
these nails come off,
654
00:19:00,006 --> 00:19:00,836
that's your ass.
655
00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:01,840
>> Why are you even transformed
656
00:19:01,841 --> 00:19:02,911
into Madea anyway?
657
00:19:02,909 --> 00:19:03,879
>> You would ask something like
658
00:19:03,876 --> 00:19:05,006
that, Wolverine, always asking
659
00:19:05,011 --> 00:19:06,081
these dumb-ass questions.
660
00:19:06,078 --> 00:19:08,008
But I'll tell you, 'cause you
661
00:19:08,014 --> 00:19:09,354
never know when you gonna need
662
00:19:09,349 --> 00:19:11,079
the sassiness of a mad, black--
663
00:19:11,083 --> 00:19:12,893
>> I'm Juggernaut!
664
00:19:12,885 --> 00:19:14,515
>> (maniacal laughter)
665
00:19:16,189 --> 00:19:19,289
>> If it isn't the X-Men.
666
00:19:19,292 --> 00:19:20,062
>> Now why y'all coming up in
667
00:19:20,059 --> 00:19:22,429
here with all that noise?!
668
00:19:23,896 --> 00:19:25,526
>> Juggernaut!
669
00:19:27,133 --> 00:19:28,603
(screaming)
670
00:19:28,601 --> 00:19:29,701
>> There you go, mm-hmm.
671
00:19:29,702 --> 00:19:30,702
What you crying for, huh?
672
00:19:30,703 --> 00:19:31,873
I know your fat ass loves the
673
00:19:31,871 --> 00:19:33,041
grease and you gonna clean it up
674
00:19:33,039 --> 00:19:34,369
now, too.
675
00:19:34,374 --> 00:19:35,444
>> Who are you?
676
00:19:35,442 --> 00:19:37,282
>> (laughing)
677
00:19:37,277 --> 00:19:38,777
He gonna come in my kitchen
678
00:19:38,778 --> 00:19:39,708
and gonna ask me why who am I?
679
00:19:39,712 --> 00:19:40,452
Who am I?
680
00:19:40,447 --> 00:19:41,107
Who are you?
681
00:19:41,113 --> 00:19:42,223
Who you supposed to be, hmm?
682
00:19:42,215 --> 00:19:43,145
Boba Fett?
683
00:19:43,149 --> 00:19:44,879
>> Where's Charles Xavier?
684
00:19:44,884 --> 00:19:45,754
>> Charles Xavier?
685
00:19:45,752 --> 00:19:46,892
More like Charles needs a savior
686
00:19:46,886 --> 00:19:48,046
Lord Jesus Christ to help fix
687
00:19:48,054 --> 00:19:49,394
them dead-ass legs.
688
00:19:49,389 --> 00:19:51,089
>> (laughing)
689
00:19:51,090 --> 00:19:52,790
No, seriously, where-- where--
690
00:19:52,792 --> 00:19:53,592
>> Where-where-where who's, hmm?
691
00:19:53,593 --> 00:19:54,593
You dig?
692
00:19:54,594 --> 00:19:55,834
Wearing them tight-ass pants.
693
00:19:55,828 --> 00:19:56,798
I can't find 'em neither.
694
00:19:56,796 --> 00:19:58,626
>> (laughing)
695
00:20:04,070 --> 00:20:05,740
>> I thought I told you and
696
00:20:05,738 --> 00:20:07,608
your dumb-ass friend to quit
697
00:20:07,607 --> 00:20:09,337
coming in here and messing
698
00:20:09,342 --> 00:20:11,512
up my kitchen!
699
00:20:11,511 --> 00:20:13,251
Go!
700
00:20:13,246 --> 00:20:15,576
>> Oh, so sorry.
701
00:20:15,582 --> 00:20:17,822
Come, Juggernaut.
702
00:20:28,361 --> 00:20:29,631
>> Madea, you saved us like you
703
00:20:29,629 --> 00:20:30,529
always do.
704
00:20:30,530 --> 00:20:31,330
>> Oh, that ain't nothing,
705
00:20:31,331 --> 00:20:32,201
child, you know, Madea takes
706
00:20:32,198 --> 00:20:32,928
care of her own.
707
00:20:32,932 --> 00:20:34,132
Now you go on and finish your
708
00:20:34,133 --> 00:20:34,803
grits.
709
00:20:34,801 --> 00:20:35,541
>> Yes, ma'am.
710
00:20:35,535 --> 00:20:37,335
>> Yes, ma'am.
711
00:20:40,540 --> 00:20:41,940
>> I'm the most unbelievable
712
00:20:41,941 --> 00:20:43,281
X-Men character in this whole
713
00:20:43,276 --> 00:20:44,836
sketch.
714
00:20:44,844 --> 00:20:45,784
(laughing)
715
00:20:45,778 --> 00:20:46,608
Look at this, this just came
716
00:20:46,613 --> 00:20:47,813
off, look at this (bleep).
717
00:20:47,814 --> 00:20:49,854
(crew laughing)
718
00:20:49,849 --> 00:20:51,519
Hey, young lady.
719
00:20:51,518 --> 00:20:52,618
I see you.
720
00:20:52,619 --> 00:20:54,119
It's prom night
721
00:20:54,120 --> 00:20:55,150
or you got a hot date.
722
00:20:55,154 --> 00:20:56,794
I know what you need.
723
00:20:56,789 --> 00:20:58,789
Lipstick man.
724
00:20:58,791 --> 00:21:00,691
(crew laughing)
725
00:21:03,195 --> 00:21:04,725
Now you look good.
726
00:21:04,731 --> 00:21:05,701
(laughing continues)
44034
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