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>> Hey, welcome to Soft Surfin'.
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How can I help you?
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>> Uh, can I just get
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a vanilla ice cream cone?
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>> Ooh, sweet choice. Up here.
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>> Oh.
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>> (humming)
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(machine banging)
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Ah, dang it...
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Hey, Alonzo!
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The ice cream machine broke!
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Ahh, man, now there's a big,
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old puddle on the-- oh!
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>> Jesus, are you okay?
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>> Oh, the machine's broken--
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aah!
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>> Okay, oh, jeez, uh--
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>> I'm Cory, the store manager--
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oh!
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>> All right, uh...
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>> Hey, it's the handyman
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comin' through-- aah!
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>> Aah!
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>> Hey, I heard there was
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an emergency-- aah!
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>> Okay.
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>> Just carryin' some bottles.
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>> You okay?
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>> Hey, I got bottles too--
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whoa!
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>> Glass is everywhere!
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>> Don't mind me, citizen,
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I'm just your mayor,
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Billy Manning,
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grabbing my daily--
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>> Aah!
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>> Have you seen the mayor--
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aah!
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>> Have you seen the mayor--
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aah!
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>> Aah!
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>> Son of a bitch, it's hot
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outside, I'm telling-- oh!
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>> No!
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>> Oh, my God.
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>> Wait, Mom?
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>> There's at least 10 people
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laid up on the ground over here.
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>> No, so be careful
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because they've all fallen.
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>> It's just a little puddle
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of some sort of--
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>> Mom!
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>> (humming)
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Aah!
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>> Got it.
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(machine banging)
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Heh, it is broken.
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Oh, I'll try the switch--
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>> Hey, just so you know,
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we're having a 20% off sale on
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the fresh linen scented candles.
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>> Oh. Okay.
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Oh.
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Oh, God.
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>> Nice, right?
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>> I-- I never knew what fresh
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linen smelled like before today.
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Jesus, it is amazing.
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>> Sure, yeah, no, we also
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have some exquisite lotions
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if you're looking for--
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>> No, no, no, it's okay.
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Uh, I will just be taking this.
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>> Okay.
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>> Actually, I'll take three.
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(Bleep), whoo!
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(simmer, sniff, gasp, whoosh)
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>> (woman cackling)
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>> (distorted voice) I can help
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he next customert
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n register five.o
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>> (woman cackling)
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>> (man) Can I help you, ma'am?
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>> (distorted) Fresh linen.
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resh linen.F
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>> Excuse me, where are
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all the fresh linen candles?
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Uh, 'cause I-- I--
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I looked on the shelf
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and it's empty, so...
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>> Well, actually, the fresh
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linen is a seasonal scent.
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So we may have more again
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next summer, but probably not.
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>> Uh, okay...
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I, uh... I...
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(deep, distorted) I need a fresh
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linen candle.
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>> Uh, we're-- we're just
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all sold out of 'em.
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So I-- I...
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(simmer, sniff, gasp, whoosh)
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I could offer you
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a shea butter coupon.
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>> (distorted) Fresh linen.
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(regular voice) Oh, thank God.
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Okay, you have it?
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Or... you have it?
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(nervous laughter)
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What the (bleep) is that?
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>> Whoa, whoa, whoa, look.
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I know it's not fresh linen,
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but it's clean cotton and it's
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literally the same exact--
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>> No! It's not!
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It's not!
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(glass shatters)
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>> Calm down, lady!
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Look, hey--
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Hey, lady, what-- what're you
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doing? You crazy or something?
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>> Just shush!
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(sobbing)
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Okay, okay, okay.
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Okay, wait.
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>> (women screaming)
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>> Okay! Okay!
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I wanna see blood for this
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fresh linen candle, ladies.
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All right?
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Let the savagery begin!
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>> (women screaming)
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(cheering)
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>> (woman shrieking)
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>> (women cheering)
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(fists thudding)
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>> Aah!
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>> Mom, is there any more
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orange soda?
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>> Oh, here you go, hon.
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There you go-- oh!
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Okay, go upstairs.
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>> (women screaming)
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>> Keith, Kenny, everyone at
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the company thinks you would be
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great candidates for the job.
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>> That's very kind.
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>> Thank you.
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>> Unfortunately, we can only
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offer one of you the job.
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Personally, I'm torn.
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I think you'd both be great.
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>> Oh, that's very kind.
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>> Thank you.
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>> In fact, nobody at the
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company can come to
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an agreement.
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For instance, Mark Fish, VP of
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Sales, he likes Keith better.
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>> Big Fish.
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>> However, Ashley Noonan,
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head of the West Coast division,
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prefers Kenneth.
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>> Good old Ashley Noonan.
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>> We ran it through our HR,
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talked it over with our legal
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counsel, we even had everybody
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come down to the boardroom,
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put their heads on the desk
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to do a blind vote,
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we still couldn't come
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to an agreement.
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>> Oh, that's very kind.
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>> Thank you.
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>> We only have a couple more
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options on how we think
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we could determine
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who should get this job.
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First, we were wondering if you
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could-- stand up right now!
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Wow, sit down, please.
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That was sublime.
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You didn't know I was
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gonna do that.
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>> (both) No.
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>> Okay, well, next up, we--
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you'll see, we have these two
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sheets of paper in front of you.
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We were wondering if you guys
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could just...
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Hot damn.
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Wow, did you guys practice that?
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>> No practice, did you--
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>> No, never.
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>> No practice.
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>> All right, well,
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I don't know how to do it,
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really.
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That's all I had.
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>> Okay.
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>> Thanks.
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>> Well, I--
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actually, if you wouldn't mind,
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we do-- we have one more idea.
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Now, uh...
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now, we don't--
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we obviously don't want you
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to kill each other.
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>> Oh, that's very kind.
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>> Thank you.
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>> But we were wondering if you
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would be willing to battle each
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other wearing giant,
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inflatable bubbles.
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>> (both grunting)
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(clatter)
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(dinging)
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(whistle blowing)
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>> Yeah!
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>> Congratulations, Keith,
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you are our new scientist.
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>> Yes! I'm a scientist!
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>> All right, pal,
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let's go cure cancer.
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>> Let's do it.
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>> We are in the "Friends of the
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People" production office.
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We had to wear the bubble
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a few sketches ago,
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so now our friends are gonna do
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it and compete.
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>> So we're gonna pick some
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names out of this bucket.
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>> Yeah.
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>> First up.
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>> Jermaine.
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>> Jermaine is first.
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>> Who am I competing against?
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>> It's Jen.
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>> It's Jen, there we go.
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>> Whoo!
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>> Jen.
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>> Jermaine against Jen.
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>> Hey, in the bubbles, yo.
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>> First person to knock
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the first person down wins.
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Yeah, uh, let's start--
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>> Those are the rules.
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>> Those are the rules.
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Let the games begin.
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Action!
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>> (Jen) Aah!
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>> (all laughing)
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>> Uh... you okay?
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You okay?
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>> Jen, you okay?
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>> I'm sorry.
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>> That was the (bleep)!
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>> No chance in the slightest.
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>> What'd I do?
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>> You did everything correct.
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>> I'm dead serious,
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I'm so sorry.
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He said action! He said action!
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>> So, wait, so who won?
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Who won the, uh, who won the...
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>> You came at me like a bullet.
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You came at me like a bullet.
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I was like, "Are we ready--"
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And then I blacked out.
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I think I blacked out
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for a good minute.
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>> Welcome back to Fox Newz
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coverage of Election Night 2016.
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This just in, breaking poll
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results in the race
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for president.
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>> Now, not all states are
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reporting and we don't know
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if the candidate is Republican
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or Democrat,
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but Fox Newz is proud to
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announce that the winner
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of the 2016 presidential
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election is in fact...
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a white person!
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>> The country has spoken,
289
00:09:00,908 --> 00:09:02,778
Sandy, back to the old guard,
290
00:09:02,776 --> 00:09:03,906
the bread and butter.
291
00:09:03,911 --> 00:09:05,551
Celebrating the first white
292
00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:07,575
president since the first black
293
00:09:07,581 --> 00:09:09,651
president, restoring our legacy
294
00:09:09,650 --> 00:09:11,450
of 230 years
295
00:09:11,451 --> 00:09:12,751
of great white presidents.
296
00:09:12,753 --> 00:09:13,893
Now, let's take a look
297
00:09:13,887 --> 00:09:14,957
around this country for some
298
00:09:14,955 --> 00:09:16,255
live reaction.
299
00:09:16,256 --> 00:09:17,216
>> Now, Dan, there is
300
00:09:17,224 --> 00:09:18,134
a chance that our new president
301
00:09:18,125 --> 00:09:19,485
could be female.
302
00:09:19,492 --> 00:09:21,062
>> Well, after what we've been
303
00:09:21,061 --> 00:09:22,431
through, Sandy, I think we can
304
00:09:22,429 --> 00:09:23,429
handle a woman.
305
00:09:23,430 --> 00:09:24,800
I mean, come on, the real news
306
00:09:24,798 --> 00:09:25,798
is the White House
307
00:09:25,799 --> 00:09:27,269
is back, baby!
308
00:09:27,267 --> 00:09:28,367
>> Now let's go to our
309
00:09:28,368 --> 00:09:29,698
statistician, Nate,
310
00:09:29,703 --> 00:09:31,103
live in the War Room.
311
00:09:31,104 --> 00:09:34,074
>> (blowing horn)
312
00:09:34,074 --> 00:09:35,344
Aah!
313
00:09:35,342 --> 00:09:37,412
Big congrats, Dan, Sandy.
314
00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:39,150
>> Congratulations to you, Nate.
315
00:09:39,146 --> 00:09:40,206
>> Nate, what can you tell us
316
00:09:40,213 --> 00:09:42,053
about the numbers, buddy?
317
00:09:42,049 --> 00:09:43,049
>> We ran a series of models
318
00:09:43,050 --> 00:09:44,080
based upon the candidates
319
00:09:44,084 --> 00:09:45,824
and it is statistically
320
00:09:45,819 --> 00:09:48,159
impossible to have a black
321
00:09:48,155 --> 00:09:50,115
president in 2016.
322
00:09:50,123 --> 00:09:51,633
Boom!
323
00:09:51,625 --> 00:09:52,925
>> Oh, what great news, Nate.
324
00:09:52,926 --> 00:09:54,826
Boom, right back at ya!
325
00:09:54,828 --> 00:09:56,828
>> Nothing but net!
326
00:09:56,830 --> 00:09:58,300
Marco Rubio and Bobby Jindal
327
00:09:58,298 --> 00:09:59,528
gave us a bit of a scare,
328
00:09:59,532 --> 00:10:00,732
but they're no longer in
329
00:10:00,734 --> 00:10:01,644
the running and have a win
330
00:10:01,635 --> 00:10:03,765
probability...
331
00:10:03,771 --> 00:10:04,601
of zero.
332
00:10:04,604 --> 00:10:05,844
>> Right, and those guys aren't
333
00:10:05,839 --> 00:10:07,369
white, but they're not...
334
00:10:07,374 --> 00:10:09,514
you know, they're not the...
335
00:10:09,509 --> 00:10:10,739
>> Oh, I know, yeah.
336
00:10:10,744 --> 00:10:12,784
Full black, yeah, absolutely.
337
00:10:12,780 --> 00:10:14,580
Got it back.
338
00:10:14,581 --> 00:10:16,321
>> Oh, thank you so much, Nate.
339
00:10:16,316 --> 00:10:17,716
Now, for those of you just
340
00:10:17,718 --> 00:10:19,648
joining us, it is party time.
341
00:10:19,653 --> 00:10:21,923
The president is white again.
342
00:10:21,922 --> 00:10:23,492
Just like Santa Claus.
343
00:10:23,490 --> 00:10:24,690
>> Oh, now let's take a look
344
00:10:24,692 --> 00:10:26,592
at that election map-- now,
345
00:10:26,593 --> 00:10:27,563
the states that are in white
346
00:10:27,560 --> 00:10:28,900
are the states that voted for
347
00:10:28,896 --> 00:10:30,356
a white candidate, which again
348
00:10:30,363 --> 00:10:32,133
is all of 'em.
349
00:10:32,132 --> 00:10:33,002
>> Now let's head over to
350
00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:34,130
Palmer Egan who's live
351
00:10:34,134 --> 00:10:35,204
in the field. Palmer?
352
00:10:35,202 --> 00:10:36,372
>> Yeah, we did it!
353
00:10:36,369 --> 00:10:38,209
Oh, thanks, Dan and Sandy.
354
00:10:38,205 --> 00:10:39,935
I'm here with 7-year-old
355
00:10:39,940 --> 00:10:42,240
Samuel Camp, who, remarkably,
356
00:10:42,242 --> 00:10:43,382
has never lived in a world
357
00:10:43,376 --> 00:10:45,076
without a black president.
358
00:10:45,078 --> 00:10:46,308
Samuel, how do you feel
359
00:10:46,313 --> 00:10:47,253
knowing the president
360
00:10:47,247 --> 00:10:48,317
is white again?
361
00:10:48,315 --> 00:10:49,415
>> I don't really see
362
00:10:49,416 --> 00:10:50,946
how it makes a difference.
363
00:10:50,951 --> 00:10:52,791
>> Well, my friend, get ready
364
00:10:52,786 --> 00:10:54,086
to be proven dead wrong for the
365
00:10:54,087 --> 00:10:55,257
next four years of your life.
366
00:10:55,255 --> 00:10:56,315
Who'd you vote for, anyway?
367
00:10:56,323 --> 00:10:57,763
>> I'm seven.
368
00:10:57,758 --> 00:10:59,188
>> Right, okay, whatever.
369
00:10:59,192 --> 00:11:00,892
Back to you guys.
370
00:11:00,894 --> 00:11:02,604
>> Whoo! Oh!
371
00:11:02,595 --> 00:11:04,125
(laughter)
372
00:11:04,131 --> 00:11:05,771
>> Whoo! Stay tuned
373
00:11:05,766 --> 00:11:06,896
for continuing coverage
374
00:11:06,900 --> 00:11:08,240
all night long!
375
00:11:08,235 --> 00:11:09,665
>> Oh, we are never gonna die
376
00:11:09,669 --> 00:11:11,539
here at Fox!
377
00:11:11,538 --> 00:11:13,538
>> (announcer)...
378
00:11:23,350 --> 00:11:24,550
>> Hello.
379
00:11:24,551 --> 00:11:26,891
My name's Forrest.
380
00:11:26,887 --> 00:11:28,717
Forrest Gump.
381
00:11:28,722 --> 00:11:31,492
Would you like a chocolate?
382
00:11:31,491 --> 00:11:33,031
See, my mama always said life
383
00:11:33,026 --> 00:11:35,056
was like a box of chocolates.
384
00:11:35,062 --> 00:11:35,902
You never know what you're gonna
385
00:11:35,896 --> 00:11:38,026
get.
386
00:11:38,031 --> 00:11:39,201
>> What'd you say, dude?
387
00:11:39,199 --> 00:11:40,929
>> (announcer) This has been...
388
00:11:43,570 --> 00:11:44,570
>> Second round
389
00:11:44,571 --> 00:11:46,111
of Bubble Ball Brawl.
390
00:11:46,106 --> 00:11:46,966
>> Bubble Ball Brawl.
391
00:11:46,974 --> 00:11:48,184
>> Bubble Ball Brawl.
392
00:11:48,175 --> 00:11:48,905
>> We got Josh.
393
00:11:48,909 --> 00:11:49,679
>> Josh.
394
00:11:49,676 --> 00:11:50,476
>> Man, I didn't wanna do it.
395
00:11:50,477 --> 00:11:51,877
>> It needs to be Kevin.
396
00:11:51,879 --> 00:11:52,979
>> And Kevin.
397
00:11:52,980 --> 00:11:54,350
>> (all cheering)
398
00:11:54,347 --> 00:11:55,617
>> You're the man.
399
00:11:55,615 --> 00:11:56,415
>> This is the matchup
400
00:11:56,416 --> 00:11:57,716
of the season, baby.
401
00:11:57,717 --> 00:11:59,147
>> The battle of the (bleep)-up
402
00:11:59,152 --> 00:12:02,062
shoes.
403
00:12:02,055 --> 00:12:03,215
>> Oh, yeah, we're all rooting
404
00:12:03,223 --> 00:12:05,563
for Josh, but Kevin's gonna win.
405
00:12:05,558 --> 00:12:07,128
>> John Stockton vs.
406
00:12:07,127 --> 00:12:09,997
Karl Malone!
407
00:12:09,997 --> 00:12:11,097
>> Here we go, ready
408
00:12:11,098 --> 00:12:12,268
and action!
409
00:12:12,265 --> 00:12:14,065
>> (screaming)
410
00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:16,967
>> (all laughing)
411
00:12:19,606 --> 00:12:20,436
>> How'd that feel, Kevin?
412
00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:21,570
>> It felt violent
413
00:12:21,574 --> 00:12:23,044
and good as (bleep).
414
00:12:23,043 --> 00:12:23,983
>> I saw you drag.
415
00:12:23,977 --> 00:12:25,577
Like, you dragged two feet away
416
00:12:25,578 --> 00:12:26,808
when he pushed ya.
417
00:12:26,814 --> 00:12:27,784
>> All right, you wanna go?
418
00:12:27,781 --> 00:12:29,781
>> I ain't gotta do it.
419
00:12:36,990 --> 00:12:38,330
>> I am so hungry right now.
420
00:12:38,325 --> 00:12:38,985
>> Well, make sure you don't
421
00:12:38,992 --> 00:12:39,962
get any food on that
422
00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:41,090
beautiful dress.
423
00:12:41,094 --> 00:12:42,404
>> Oh, you like it?
424
00:12:42,395 --> 00:12:43,725
>> Beautiful.
425
00:12:43,730 --> 00:12:45,570
>> Hey! Sorry for the wait.
426
00:12:45,565 --> 00:12:47,065
I'm your waiter.
427
00:12:47,067 --> 00:12:49,497
No pun intended!
428
00:12:49,502 --> 00:12:50,772
Oh, wow, well, look.
429
00:12:50,770 --> 00:12:52,310
Cut all the fun and games out.
430
00:12:52,305 --> 00:12:53,205
I'm Jerome.
431
00:12:53,206 --> 00:12:53,936
I'll be your server
432
00:12:53,941 --> 00:12:55,441
for this evening.
433
00:12:55,442 --> 00:12:57,082
>> Oh, I'm so sorry,
434
00:12:57,077 --> 00:12:58,277
but you-- you wouldn't happen
435
00:12:58,278 --> 00:13:00,908
to be "Sugar" Jerome, the famous
436
00:13:00,914 --> 00:13:02,084
boxer from the '80s?
437
00:13:02,082 --> 00:13:03,482
>> You got me.
438
00:13:03,483 --> 00:13:04,583
>> I knew it, man.
439
00:13:04,584 --> 00:13:05,554
My father would make me watch
440
00:13:05,552 --> 00:13:06,692
your fights all the time
441
00:13:06,686 --> 00:13:07,486
growing up, man.
442
00:13:07,487 --> 00:13:08,157
It was great, yeah.
443
00:13:08,155 --> 00:13:09,655
>> Wow. Wow.
444
00:13:09,656 --> 00:13:10,616
Let me tell you something.
445
00:13:10,623 --> 00:13:12,133
That makes old Sugar--
446
00:13:12,125 --> 00:13:13,085
(sighs)
447
00:13:13,093 --> 00:13:15,163
Makes old Sugar feel real good.
448
00:13:15,162 --> 00:13:16,462
Uh, well, look.
449
00:13:16,463 --> 00:13:17,563
What y'all looking to order?
450
00:13:17,564 --> 00:13:18,404
>> Ladies first.
451
00:13:18,398 --> 00:13:19,298
>> Oh, okay.
452
00:13:19,299 --> 00:13:20,599
What does Sugar Jerome
453
00:13:20,600 --> 00:13:21,270
recommend?
454
00:13:21,268 --> 00:13:22,568
Do you have any favorites or...
455
00:13:22,569 --> 00:13:24,099
>> One of my favorite meals here
456
00:13:24,104 --> 00:13:26,074
is the salmon linguini.
457
00:13:26,073 --> 00:13:28,883
I mean, it is so succulent.
458
00:13:28,876 --> 00:13:30,006
Then when you cut in it,
459
00:13:30,010 --> 00:13:32,050
oh, it's so tender.
460
00:13:32,045 --> 00:13:34,045
>> That sounds fantastic.
461
00:13:34,047 --> 00:13:35,647
Uh, yeah, you know, I think--
462
00:13:35,648 --> 00:13:36,848
I think I'll get a filet mignon
463
00:13:36,850 --> 00:13:38,750
and a water.
464
00:13:38,751 --> 00:13:41,291
>> Well, (bleep) me, then.
465
00:13:41,288 --> 00:13:42,818
Huh?
466
00:13:42,822 --> 00:13:44,792
'Cause fighters don't know food.
467
00:13:44,791 --> 00:13:45,531
I guess the old former
468
00:13:45,525 --> 00:13:46,185
heavyweight champ don't know
469
00:13:46,193 --> 00:13:48,033
anything.
470
00:13:48,028 --> 00:13:50,058
>> Did I say something wrong?
471
00:13:50,063 --> 00:13:50,933
>> Don't-- don't feel bad.
472
00:13:50,931 --> 00:13:52,701
>> Well, here you go!
473
00:13:52,699 --> 00:13:53,429
Huh?
474
00:13:53,433 --> 00:13:54,903
Guess what, that's not water,
475
00:13:54,902 --> 00:13:56,002
that's Sprite!
476
00:13:56,003 --> 00:13:57,243
Because that's how you made me
477
00:13:57,237 --> 00:13:58,207
feel.
478
00:13:58,205 --> 00:13:59,105
Now how does that feel when you
479
00:13:59,106 --> 00:14:00,606
get tricked like that, huh?
480
00:14:00,607 --> 00:14:02,177
I done told you about all this
481
00:14:02,175 --> 00:14:04,305
salmon (bleep) and you have the
482
00:14:04,311 --> 00:14:06,451
nerve to embarrass me in front
483
00:14:06,446 --> 00:14:08,076
of all my kids?!
484
00:14:08,081 --> 00:14:09,481
>> I'm sorry, Mr. Jerome, I
485
00:14:09,482 --> 00:14:10,622
didn't know about your kids--
486
00:14:10,617 --> 00:14:11,817
>> Shut up, Frank!
487
00:14:11,818 --> 00:14:12,818
>> Frank? Look, man, all we
488
00:14:12,819 --> 00:14:13,989
wanna tell you is we're sorry
489
00:14:13,987 --> 00:14:14,887
about the misunderstanding--
490
00:14:14,888 --> 00:14:16,188
>> Look...
491
00:14:16,189 --> 00:14:18,389
"sorry we offended you."
492
00:14:20,127 --> 00:14:21,557
(whispering) Now what your
493
00:14:21,561 --> 00:14:23,231
fat-ass want?
494
00:14:23,230 --> 00:14:24,970
Oh, I know what you want.
495
00:14:24,965 --> 00:14:26,665
Oh, yes.
496
00:14:26,666 --> 00:14:29,936
A nice, crispy onion ring.
497
00:14:29,937 --> 00:14:32,237
Oh, yeah, look at that.
498
00:14:32,239 --> 00:14:33,369
>> I didn't--
499
00:14:33,373 --> 00:14:34,743
>> Shut up!
500
00:14:34,741 --> 00:14:36,181
Be right back.
501
00:14:36,176 --> 00:14:38,676
Keep that on your face.
502
00:14:38,678 --> 00:14:39,548
>> Do I keep it here?
503
00:14:39,546 --> 00:14:40,746
>> No, take it off.
504
00:14:40,747 --> 00:14:41,407
>> I wanna eat the onion ring,
505
00:14:41,414 --> 00:14:42,084
but...
506
00:14:42,082 --> 00:14:43,622
>> It was in his pants.
507
00:14:43,616 --> 00:14:45,286
>> Oh...
508
00:14:45,285 --> 00:14:47,145
Here you go.
509
00:14:47,154 --> 00:14:49,664
So how's that onion ring,
510
00:14:49,656 --> 00:14:51,956
you battered bitch?!
511
00:14:51,959 --> 00:14:53,829
>> Honestly,
512
00:14:53,826 --> 00:14:55,326
it's not even that good.
513
00:14:55,328 --> 00:14:56,228
>> Stand up.
514
00:14:56,229 --> 00:14:57,329
Stand your ass up.
515
00:14:57,330 --> 00:14:58,200
Come on, stand up.
516
00:14:58,198 --> 00:14:59,098
>> Come on, man.
517
00:14:59,099 --> 00:15:00,069
>> Come on, stand up.
518
00:15:00,067 --> 00:15:00,727
I didn't want to have to do this
519
00:15:00,733 --> 00:15:01,403
to you.
520
00:15:01,401 --> 00:15:02,071
>> What? What?
521
00:15:02,069 --> 00:15:02,739
>> Sugar gonna have to put
522
00:15:02,735 --> 00:15:03,395
the "sugars" on you, huh?
523
00:15:03,403 --> 00:15:04,173
Sugar gonna have to put the--
524
00:15:04,171 --> 00:15:04,841
on you.
525
00:15:04,837 --> 00:15:06,267
Oh, yeah, huh?
526
00:15:06,273 --> 00:15:07,243
Now I know you feeling diabetic
527
00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:08,210
with all this sugar in your
528
00:15:08,208 --> 00:15:09,408
stomach, don't ya, huh?
529
00:15:09,409 --> 00:15:11,709
Huh?! Oh, Sugar is going crazy!
530
00:15:11,711 --> 00:15:13,711
(panting)
531
00:15:13,713 --> 00:15:15,483
>> Okay, all right, okay!
532
00:15:15,482 --> 00:15:16,952
I'll order the salmon linguini.
533
00:15:16,950 --> 00:15:18,490
>> Well, okay.
534
00:15:18,485 --> 00:15:19,145
Have a seat.
535
00:15:19,152 --> 00:15:20,222
I'll be right back.
536
00:15:20,220 --> 00:15:22,260
>> All right.
537
00:15:22,255 --> 00:15:23,885
I'm so sorry.
538
00:15:23,890 --> 00:15:24,720
My cousin told me it was
539
00:15:24,724 --> 00:15:25,794
a good place.
540
00:15:25,792 --> 00:15:27,032
Are you calling the police?
541
00:15:27,027 --> 00:15:28,697
>> No, I'm on Yelp.
542
00:15:28,695 --> 00:15:29,995
>> Well, it turns out
543
00:15:29,997 --> 00:15:30,897
we don't even have salmon
544
00:15:30,897 --> 00:15:32,167
linguini on the menu.
545
00:15:32,165 --> 00:15:33,595
Ha ha ha! Sorry about that.
546
00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:35,440
Be cool.
547
00:15:36,769 --> 00:15:38,039
>> Unstoppable force Jermaine.
548
00:15:38,038 --> 00:15:39,668
Immovable object Kevin.
549
00:15:39,672 --> 00:15:40,872
>> This is a classic speed
550
00:15:40,873 --> 00:15:42,113
versus power match.
551
00:15:42,109 --> 00:15:43,139
We we going for?
552
00:15:43,143 --> 00:15:43,813
>> Jermaine.
553
00:15:43,810 --> 00:15:46,280
>> I think-- I think it's Kevin.
554
00:15:46,279 --> 00:15:47,809
I'm gonna go pure weight.
555
00:15:47,814 --> 00:15:48,484
>> It's gonna be a good one.
556
00:15:48,481 --> 00:15:49,151
>> Yeah.
557
00:15:49,149 --> 00:15:49,819
>> It's gonna be a good one.
558
00:15:49,816 --> 00:15:51,676
>> Ready and action.
559
00:15:51,684 --> 00:15:53,394
>> (yelling)
560
00:15:53,386 --> 00:15:55,056
>> (cheering)
561
00:15:55,055 --> 00:15:56,915
>> (laughing)
562
00:16:00,593 --> 00:16:02,733
>> Kevin, that felt so angry.
563
00:16:02,729 --> 00:16:05,399
Kev, did you scream?
564
00:16:05,398 --> 00:16:07,698
>> (yelling)
565
00:16:07,700 --> 00:16:08,800
>> Kevin!
566
00:16:08,801 --> 00:16:10,371
Kev and Rel...
567
00:16:10,370 --> 00:16:11,570
You gotta play Rel.
568
00:16:11,571 --> 00:16:12,511
It's Kevin and Rel.
569
00:16:12,505 --> 00:16:14,365
>> It's Kevin and Rel.
570
00:16:14,374 --> 00:16:16,044
The match-- the match we've been
571
00:16:16,043 --> 00:16:17,713
waiting for.
572
00:16:26,719 --> 00:16:27,619
>> I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
573
00:16:27,620 --> 00:16:29,620
Does anybody need anything?
574
00:16:29,622 --> 00:16:31,362
>> Yeah.
575
00:16:31,358 --> 00:16:32,688
Why don't you bring us back
576
00:16:32,692 --> 00:16:33,892
some poop?
577
00:16:33,893 --> 00:16:35,863
>> (all laughing)
578
00:16:40,400 --> 00:16:42,000
>> Okay, okay, I meant because
579
00:16:42,001 --> 00:16:44,371
I'm walking past the kitchen.
580
00:16:44,371 --> 00:16:46,341
>> (laughing continues)
581
00:16:56,149 --> 00:16:57,479
>> Hey, Lynn, did you bring me
582
00:16:57,484 --> 00:16:59,054
back that poop I wanted?
583
00:16:59,052 --> 00:17:01,092
>> (laughing)
584
00:17:04,891 --> 00:17:05,931
>> Hey, Ted.
585
00:17:05,925 --> 00:17:06,925
I got that report that you sent
586
00:17:06,926 --> 00:17:08,056
over. Do you think I could get--
587
00:17:08,061 --> 00:17:09,861
>> Some poop and bring it back
588
00:17:09,862 --> 00:17:11,032
to me?
589
00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:13,270
(laughing)
590
00:17:20,340 --> 00:17:21,840
>> Hey, Carol.
591
00:17:21,841 --> 00:17:22,811
Not really feeling well.
592
00:17:22,809 --> 00:17:25,109
Think I'm gonna take a sick day.
593
00:17:25,112 --> 00:17:26,282
Go to the doctor and maybe get--
594
00:17:26,279 --> 00:17:27,909
>> Some poop and bring it back
595
00:17:27,914 --> 00:17:28,754
to me?
596
00:17:28,748 --> 00:17:31,678
(laughing)
597
00:17:31,684 --> 00:17:32,524
>> Ted, how long have you been
598
00:17:32,519 --> 00:17:33,189
there?!
599
00:17:33,186 --> 00:17:34,186
>> All day, Lynn.
600
00:17:34,187 --> 00:17:35,587
(laughing)
601
00:17:38,758 --> 00:17:41,058
>> Hey, guys.
602
00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:42,500
Thanks for visiting.
603
00:17:44,464 --> 00:17:46,174
I got my test results back.
604
00:17:46,166 --> 00:17:47,666
And it turns out that I have--
605
00:17:47,667 --> 00:17:49,097
>> (whispers) Some poop for me?
606
00:17:49,102 --> 00:17:50,172
>> What?
607
00:17:50,170 --> 00:17:51,340
>> Don't do this, Ted.
608
00:17:51,338 --> 00:17:53,108
>> No, what did he say?
609
00:17:54,641 --> 00:17:56,111
>> I said...
610
00:17:56,109 --> 00:17:56,779
you got some poop for me?
611
00:17:56,776 --> 00:17:59,246
>> Ted, stop, you gotta stop.
612
00:17:59,246 --> 00:18:00,606
>> No, I want to hear what he
613
00:18:00,613 --> 00:18:01,753
thinks I have.
614
00:18:01,748 --> 00:18:04,018
>> (laughing)
615
00:18:04,016 --> 00:18:05,516
Do you have-- do you have some
616
00:18:05,518 --> 00:18:06,918
poop for me?
617
00:18:06,919 --> 00:18:09,689
(laughing)
618
00:18:09,689 --> 00:18:10,659
>> No!
619
00:18:10,657 --> 00:18:12,127
No, I did not get
620
00:18:12,125 --> 00:18:14,025
poop for you, Ted!
621
00:18:15,528 --> 00:18:18,058
I have colon cancer.
622
00:18:20,567 --> 00:18:22,697
>> Oh.
623
00:18:22,702 --> 00:18:24,472
Oh, I didn't...
624
00:18:24,471 --> 00:18:25,971
Colon, huh?
625
00:18:25,972 --> 00:18:27,742
So I guess you have some poop
626
00:18:27,740 --> 00:18:28,580
for these doctors, then,
627
00:18:28,575 --> 00:18:29,675
don't you?
628
00:18:29,676 --> 00:18:31,636
(laughing)
629
00:18:33,313 --> 00:18:34,383
>> That's not what cancer is,
630
00:18:34,381 --> 00:18:35,751
Ted!
631
00:18:35,748 --> 00:18:37,348
It's not when you give people
632
00:18:37,350 --> 00:18:38,920
poop!
633
00:18:38,918 --> 00:18:40,718
>> (chuckles)
634
00:18:40,720 --> 00:18:42,390
>> As Lynn's boss,
635
00:18:42,389 --> 00:18:44,389
I got to know her as a person
636
00:18:44,391 --> 00:18:46,431
and as an employee.
637
00:18:46,426 --> 00:18:47,756
I remember this one time,
638
00:18:47,760 --> 00:18:49,000
Lynn got--
639
00:18:48,995 --> 00:18:51,155
>> Some poop for me!
640
00:18:51,164 --> 00:18:53,174
>> (laughing)
641
00:18:58,438 --> 00:19:00,108
>> No!
642
00:19:00,106 --> 00:19:02,036
No!
643
00:19:02,041 --> 00:19:03,841
Why are you laughing?!
644
00:19:03,843 --> 00:19:04,913
He's done that joke
645
00:19:04,911 --> 00:19:06,611
a million times!
646
00:19:06,613 --> 00:19:07,813
>> He's done it so many times
647
00:19:07,814 --> 00:19:09,984
it got funny again.
648
00:19:09,982 --> 00:19:11,582
>> (Ted) Hey, wait!
649
00:19:11,584 --> 00:19:12,794
Hey, maybe Lynn's in heaven
650
00:19:12,785 --> 00:19:14,145
getting some poop for me?
651
00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:16,123
>> (laughing continues)
652
00:19:23,029 --> 00:19:25,769
>> There's no poop in heaven.
653
00:19:25,765 --> 00:19:26,825
>> Oh, my God, Lynn,
654
00:19:26,833 --> 00:19:29,273
did you poop or something?
655
00:19:29,269 --> 00:19:30,369
>> All right, this is the final
656
00:19:30,370 --> 00:19:32,000
round, this is Kevin versus Rel.
657
00:19:32,004 --> 00:19:33,614
About the same body mass.
658
00:19:33,606 --> 00:19:34,706
So this is gonna be interesting.
659
00:19:34,707 --> 00:19:35,377
>> This should be a good one.
660
00:19:35,375 --> 00:19:36,035
I mean, this is the match
661
00:19:36,042 --> 00:19:37,112
we've all wanted to see.
662
00:19:37,109 --> 00:19:38,109
This is Pacquioa-Mayweather
663
00:19:38,110 --> 00:19:38,780
for this office.
664
00:19:38,778 --> 00:19:39,748
>> Yeah.
665
00:19:39,746 --> 00:19:42,146
It's relative to that.
666
00:19:42,148 --> 00:19:42,948
>> You got this, Rel.
667
00:19:42,949 --> 00:19:44,349
>> Ready and action.
668
00:19:44,351 --> 00:19:46,791
>> (yelling)
669
00:19:46,786 --> 00:19:49,586
>> (cheering)
670
00:19:51,491 --> 00:19:52,961
>> We got a draw, man.
671
00:19:52,959 --> 00:19:54,729
>> Start back, start back.
672
00:19:54,727 --> 00:19:55,627
That was round one.
673
00:19:55,628 --> 00:19:56,558
That was round one.
674
00:19:56,563 --> 00:19:58,063
They're evenly matched.
675
00:19:58,064 --> 00:19:59,804
>> Kevin's not sweating, though.
676
00:19:59,799 --> 00:20:01,629
Looks like Rel's going through
677
00:20:01,634 --> 00:20:04,544
a lot over there.
678
00:20:04,537 --> 00:20:05,867
>> Rel, do this for Chicago.
679
00:20:05,872 --> 00:20:07,342
>> I'm good.
680
00:20:07,340 --> 00:20:09,510
>> (cheering)
681
00:20:09,509 --> 00:20:10,509
>> You can take off
682
00:20:10,510 --> 00:20:11,680
your chains, Rel.
683
00:20:11,678 --> 00:20:13,508
>> (laughing)
684
00:20:13,513 --> 00:20:14,883
>> You don't have to wear
685
00:20:14,881 --> 00:20:16,151
your chains, man.
686
00:20:16,148 --> 00:20:17,448
>> Oh, boy, this is the last
687
00:20:17,450 --> 00:20:18,520
round.
688
00:20:18,518 --> 00:20:19,318
This is it.
689
00:20:19,319 --> 00:20:21,389
For all the marbles or whatever.
690
00:20:21,388 --> 00:20:23,718
>> Ready and action.
691
00:20:23,723 --> 00:20:25,933
>> (yelling)
692
00:20:25,925 --> 00:20:28,125
>> (cheering)
693
00:20:32,665 --> 00:20:33,425
>> That was fatigue!
694
00:20:33,433 --> 00:20:34,103
>> No!
695
00:20:34,100 --> 00:20:35,200
>> That was fatigue.
696
00:20:35,201 --> 00:20:36,801
>> Rel has eaten three cheese--
697
00:20:36,803 --> 00:20:37,743
Rel's eaten three
698
00:20:37,737 --> 00:20:38,867
chicken-and-cheese sandwiches
699
00:20:38,871 --> 00:20:39,641
before this happened.
700
00:20:39,639 --> 00:20:40,669
>> It's all good, man.
701
00:20:40,673 --> 00:20:42,543
>> (applause)
702
00:20:42,542 --> 00:20:43,912
>> The winner, Kevin.
703
00:20:43,910 --> 00:20:45,550
>> Kevin is the Bubble Brawl
704
00:20:45,545 --> 00:20:47,105
Ball champion.
705
00:20:47,113 --> 00:20:48,823
>> Kevin is the Bubble Brawl
706
00:20:48,815 --> 00:20:49,475
champion.
707
00:20:49,482 --> 00:20:50,952
A lot of pent-up frustration.
708
00:20:50,983 --> 00:20:52,493
>> Rel looks unscathed.
709
00:20:52,485 --> 00:20:53,415
His chains are fine.
710
00:20:53,420 --> 00:20:54,290
His clothes are fine.
711
00:20:54,287 --> 00:20:55,357
He's doing good.
712
00:20:55,355 --> 00:20:57,415
>> Swag and money, baby.
713
00:20:57,424 --> 00:20:58,964
>> Swag and money.
714
00:20:58,958 --> 00:21:00,928
The words of a losing man--
715
00:21:00,927 --> 00:21:02,657
swag and money.
716
00:21:02,662 --> 00:21:04,902
>> (laughing)
43366
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