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1
00:00:15,982 --> 00:00:19,315
If Sammi doesn't want to take
clarinet anymore, she doesn't want to.
2
00:00:19,352 --> 00:00:22,014
- I don't wanna push her.
- You're the one who pushed it, not me.
3
00:00:22,055 --> 00:00:24,285
- God, where's the tissues?
- I don't know.
4
00:00:24,324 --> 00:00:26,656
I'm having an allergy attack.
5
00:00:29,462 --> 00:00:31,453
What is this?
6
00:00:33,400 --> 00:00:36,460
What is this, Jeff?
Whose panties are these?
7
00:00:36,503 --> 00:00:38,869
- Uh...
- What the fuck is this?
8
00:00:38,905 --> 00:00:40,998
It's your car.
What are these doing in there?
9
00:00:41,041 --> 00:00:43,339
All right, pull the fuck over.
10
00:00:43,376 --> 00:00:45,367
Pull over.
11
00:00:48,915 --> 00:00:50,678
I really hate
shopping for pants.
12
00:00:50,717 --> 00:00:54,551
- What's worse than trying on pants?
- Exactly.
13
00:00:54,587 --> 00:00:56,953
I think those are gonna
look great once they're hemmed.
14
00:00:56,990 --> 00:00:59,049
- How do they feel?
- Good.
15
00:00:59,092 --> 00:01:00,320
All right.
16
00:01:02,395 --> 00:01:04,420
What the hell's going...
what's... what's this?
17
00:01:04,464 --> 00:01:06,898
It's the fire alarm.
Yeah, we need to leave.
18
00:01:06,933 --> 00:01:08,764
But I left my pants
in the dressing room.
19
00:01:08,802 --> 00:01:10,633
Jesus.
20
00:01:14,974 --> 00:01:17,875
Hey, what's going on?
21
00:01:17,911 --> 00:01:19,708
Fire alarm.
22
00:01:19,746 --> 00:01:22,214
- That's it?
- Yeah, gotta be thorough.
23
00:01:23,683 --> 00:01:25,446
- Is that your name?
- Yeah.
24
00:01:25,485 --> 00:01:26,975
- Krupke?
- Mm-hmm.
25
00:01:27,020 --> 00:01:29,784
- Really?
- Yeah, Matt Krupke.
26
00:01:29,823 --> 00:01:32,519
- You're Officer Krupke.
- I am.
27
00:01:32,559 --> 00:01:34,151
Familiar with "West Side Story"?
28
00:01:34,194 --> 00:01:36,355
- No, sir.
- What?
29
00:01:36,396 --> 00:01:39,695
There's a character in "West Side Story"
named Officer Krupke.
30
00:01:39,732 --> 00:01:42,326
- Okay.
- You're Officer Krupke.
31
00:01:42,368 --> 00:01:44,495
- You never heard the song?
- No, sir.
32
00:01:49,209 --> 00:01:50,904
- You never heard that?
- No.
33
00:01:50,944 --> 00:01:52,411
- No?
- No.
34
00:01:52,445 --> 00:01:54,276
By the way, they wanted
to say "fuck you,"
35
00:01:54,314 --> 00:01:55,975
but in the '50s on Broadway,
36
00:01:56,015 --> 00:01:57,949
Sondheim, he couldn't
write "fuck you."
37
00:01:57,984 --> 00:02:00,282
So "krup you" is
a substitute for "fuck you."
38
00:02:00,320 --> 00:02:02,880
- Mmm.
- Has anybody ever said "krup you"?
39
00:02:02,922 --> 00:02:04,389
- No.
- Huh.
40
00:02:04,424 --> 00:02:06,688
Some guy told me
to go fuck my face once.
41
00:02:06,726 --> 00:02:09,024
He went to jail.
42
00:02:09,062 --> 00:02:10,689
Okay.
43
00:02:10,730 --> 00:02:12,459
How much longer?
44
00:02:12,499 --> 00:02:14,763
- An hour, maybe two.
- Really?
45
00:02:14,801 --> 00:02:16,962
If tech wants to get in there,
it could be two hours.
46
00:02:17,003 --> 00:02:19,130
Are you kidding?
I'm not gonna wait that long.
47
00:02:19,172 --> 00:02:21,470
- Okay, thank you.
- Thank you.
48
00:02:44,831 --> 00:02:46,298
Hold on, hold on.
49
00:02:46,332 --> 00:02:49,062
Come here.
Come here, shh.
50
00:02:49,102 --> 00:02:50,729
I got in a lot
of trouble with Susie.
51
00:02:50,770 --> 00:02:53,671
I need your help so bad.
52
00:02:53,706 --> 00:02:55,731
She found a pair of panties
53
00:02:55,775 --> 00:02:57,402
in my glove compartment.
54
00:02:57,443 --> 00:02:59,604
Oy vey ist mir.
Are you kidding me?
55
00:02:59,646 --> 00:03:02,012
- No, I am not kidding you.
- How the hell did you do that?
56
00:03:02,048 --> 00:03:04,016
I forget they were
even in there. I forgot...
57
00:03:04,050 --> 00:03:06,109
- but here's where I need your help.
- Man, oh man.
58
00:03:06,152 --> 00:03:08,382
I told her they were
your panties.
59
00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:12,818
- So you're good?
- What do you mean they're my panties?
60
00:03:12,859 --> 00:03:14,622
No no, I told her that
they're your panties,
61
00:03:14,661 --> 00:03:17,596
that you like wearing
women's panties.
62
00:03:19,365 --> 00:03:21,333
- What?
- Yeah, that's what I told her.
63
00:03:21,367 --> 00:03:23,301
I told her you like
wearing women's panties.
64
00:03:23,336 --> 00:03:25,361
Where the fuck did you come up
with that? What does that mean?
65
00:03:25,405 --> 00:03:27,430
I think it's pretty brilliant, actually.
66
00:03:27,473 --> 00:03:28,940
You're gonna cover
for me, right?
67
00:03:28,975 --> 00:03:31,068
Please please please?
You're gonna cover for me?
68
00:03:31,110 --> 00:03:33,078
They're your panties, right?
69
00:03:33,112 --> 00:03:34,841
I-I can't...
I can't go in there.
70
00:03:34,881 --> 00:03:36,849
- Why not?
- I'm embarrassed.
71
00:03:36,883 --> 00:03:39,215
- Nothing to be embarrassed about.
- I've got panties on.
72
00:03:39,252 --> 00:03:41,652
- Only she knows.
- How am I supposed to act now?
73
00:03:41,688 --> 00:03:43,519
Normal. Panties up here, not...
74
00:03:43,556 --> 00:03:45,023
you don't have
to really wear them.
75
00:03:45,058 --> 00:03:46,525
You just know
you've got them on
76
00:03:46,559 --> 00:03:49,027
and maybe you're a little
more comfortable than normal.
77
00:03:49,062 --> 00:03:52,623
A little more at ease.
Maybe a little... little kinder.
78
00:03:52,665 --> 00:03:54,394
- Help me, please.
- This is really odd.
79
00:03:54,434 --> 00:03:57,562
- But we're pals. I would do it for you.
- This is very odd.
80
00:03:57,604 --> 00:03:59,572
Odd yet brilliant.
81
00:03:59,606 --> 00:04:01,574
Completely and utterly brilliant.
82
00:04:01,608 --> 00:04:04,008
My best one ever maybe.
83
00:04:05,878 --> 00:04:08,039
- All right.
- You're a friend.
84
00:04:08,081 --> 00:04:10,242
You're a fucking friend.
85
00:04:10,283 --> 00:04:12,376
Thank you.
Oh, thank you. Come on.
86
00:04:13,953 --> 00:04:15,750
God.
87
00:04:15,788 --> 00:04:17,756
Yeah, I bet, exactly.
88
00:04:17,790 --> 00:04:21,590
Well, is the architecture
not happening right now?
89
00:04:21,628 --> 00:04:23,619
- Hey, Larry.
- Oh, hey, Jeff.
90
00:04:23,663 --> 00:04:27,064
- Hi, hey.
- Hello hello hello.
91
00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:29,068
Hey, Virginia, hi.
92
00:04:29,102 --> 00:04:31,229
- Dennis, hello.
- It's nice to see you. It's a pleasure.
93
00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:33,967
- How's the golf game?
- Good good, yeah.
94
00:04:34,007 --> 00:04:36,840
Larry, you have
a security tag on your pants.
95
00:04:36,876 --> 00:04:38,434
Oh, yeah.
96
00:04:38,478 --> 00:04:39,945
That's weird. Why?
97
00:04:39,979 --> 00:04:42,607
Well, Virginia, if you must know,
98
00:04:42,649 --> 00:04:45,447
I was at Banana Republic
and a fire alarm went off.
99
00:04:45,485 --> 00:04:47,316
- Uh-huh.
- And I was just waiting
100
00:04:47,353 --> 00:04:50,015
and the store didn't open back up,
so I just thought I'd take off.
101
00:04:50,056 --> 00:04:52,024
But you know
what was amazing,
102
00:04:52,058 --> 00:04:53,582
when I was outside the store,
103
00:04:53,626 --> 00:04:56,459
I was talking to an officer
104
00:04:56,496 --> 00:04:57,963
and his name was Krupke.
105
00:04:57,997 --> 00:05:00,625
- Uh-huh.
- And he'd never heard
106
00:05:00,667 --> 00:05:02,396
of the character
from "West Side Story."
107
00:05:02,435 --> 00:05:04,665
- Isn't that unbelievable?
- Unbelievable.
108
00:05:04,704 --> 00:05:06,535
Yeah, I had to
sing the song for him.
109
00:05:10,777 --> 00:05:12,870
All right, all right.
Enough enough.
110
00:05:12,912 --> 00:05:14,903
I know all the lyrics
from "West Side Story."
111
00:05:14,947 --> 00:05:17,006
- Really? Fascinating.
- Yeah.
112
00:05:17,050 --> 00:05:19,780
- Amazing.
- I know the whole thing. It's interesting.
113
00:05:19,819 --> 00:05:21,844
Sometimes you think
you know somebody,
114
00:05:21,888 --> 00:05:24,721
but you really don't
know them at all.
115
00:05:24,757 --> 00:05:27,817
Hey, Larry, I'm auditioning
for the reunion show,
116
00:05:27,860 --> 00:05:29,828
for the "Seinfeld"
reunion show tomorrow
117
00:05:29,862 --> 00:05:32,057
for the part
of George's ex-wife.
118
00:05:32,098 --> 00:05:33,929
She'd be great.
119
00:05:33,966 --> 00:05:36,434
- Don't you think she'd be great?
- I really hope I get it.
120
00:05:36,469 --> 00:05:38,562
Huh, okay.
121
00:05:38,604 --> 00:05:40,128
So before
Larry walked in,
122
00:05:40,173 --> 00:05:41,800
you were telling me
the story of how you met.
123
00:05:41,841 --> 00:05:43,308
Go ahead. I wanna hear.
124
00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:44,867
- It was great.
- All right, okay.
125
00:05:44,911 --> 00:05:46,742
- I was building this strip mall...
- Hold it a sec.
126
00:05:46,779 --> 00:05:48,644
I really have a hard time
127
00:05:48,681 --> 00:05:50,410
with "how we met" stories, okay?
128
00:05:50,450 --> 00:05:52,077
- So I'm gonna...
- Well, I wanna hear it.
129
00:05:52,118 --> 00:05:54,177
- We don't have to tell it.
- No, you can hear it.
130
00:05:54,220 --> 00:05:55,687
I find it cloying
and annoying.
131
00:05:55,722 --> 00:05:57,349
Well, fine. I wanna hear it.
132
00:05:57,390 --> 00:05:59,017
They were in the middle.
I wanna hear it.
133
00:05:59,058 --> 00:06:01,117
Why don't you go take a walk
around the block, okay?
134
00:06:01,160 --> 00:06:03,287
By the time you're back,
they'll be finished.
135
00:06:03,329 --> 00:06:04,887
- Okay, fine.
- Fine, bye.
136
00:06:04,931 --> 00:06:06,398
- Bye.
- All right, so?
137
00:06:06,432 --> 00:06:08,423
I was building
a strip mall in Hesperia...
138
00:06:08,468 --> 00:06:10,060
Let me guess
how it ends.
139
00:06:10,103 --> 00:06:13,197
- You get together in... in the end?
- Bye, Larry.
140
00:06:13,239 --> 00:06:16,333
- So you were the architect...
- And she was into real estate.
141
00:06:19,712 --> 00:06:21,703
- Lemonade.
- Mister, come here.
142
00:06:21,748 --> 00:06:23,943
- We have the best lemonade.
- You wanna buy some lemonade?
143
00:06:23,983 --> 00:06:25,951
Hi, selling lemonade, huh?
144
00:06:25,985 --> 00:06:28,010
- Yep.
- Good for you.
145
00:06:28,054 --> 00:06:29,681
Good for you.
You're entrepreneurs.
146
00:06:29,722 --> 00:06:31,690
Hey, mister, did you
steal those pants?
147
00:06:31,724 --> 00:06:33,555
No no no, l... I didn't steal them.
148
00:06:33,593 --> 00:06:35,993
An alarm went off in the store
and I had to leave the store.
149
00:06:36,028 --> 00:06:38,019
I mean, don't they
want your pants back?
150
00:06:38,064 --> 00:06:40,726
I have to bring them back
and I'm going to, but I didn't steal.
151
00:06:40,767 --> 00:06:42,234
Anyway,
I'll have some lemonade.
152
00:06:42,268 --> 00:06:43,895
- How much is it?
- A buck.
153
00:06:43,936 --> 00:06:45,563
A buck? Fine.
154
00:06:45,605 --> 00:06:48,233
Thank you very much.
Here you go.
155
00:06:52,278 --> 00:06:54,246
Are you kidding me?
156
00:06:54,280 --> 00:06:56,077
Oh my God. This is awful.
157
00:06:56,115 --> 00:06:58,345
I'm not even joking.
Who made that?
158
00:06:58,384 --> 00:07:00,011
- Us. It's beautiful.
- You made it?
159
00:07:00,052 --> 00:07:01,747
- Give me my money back.
- No.
160
00:07:01,788 --> 00:07:03,517
- You can't.
- I want my dollar back.
161
00:07:03,556 --> 00:07:05,547
Just get out of here
if you don't like it.
162
00:07:05,591 --> 00:07:07,559
Fine, I'll get out.
It's terrible.
163
00:07:07,593 --> 00:07:09,083
- You stink.
- You stink!
164
00:07:09,128 --> 00:07:10,618
I'm gonna report
you guys for that.
165
00:07:10,663 --> 00:07:11,857
- Go ahead!
- I'm going to.
166
00:07:11,898 --> 00:07:13,365
- Turd!
- Loser!
167
00:07:13,399 --> 00:07:17,563
- Bald asshole!
- Get outta here! Mom!
168
00:07:20,840 --> 00:07:22,933
Couldn't stand another
"how we met" story?
169
00:07:22,975 --> 00:07:24,602
- Is that it?
- No, I couldn't.
170
00:07:24,644 --> 00:07:27,010
Oh, God.
171
00:07:27,046 --> 00:07:28,980
What are you looking at?
172
00:07:29,015 --> 00:07:30,676
What? I'm not looking at anything.
173
00:07:30,716 --> 00:07:33,048
- What are you, self-conscious?
- No, you're looking me over.
174
00:07:33,085 --> 00:07:35,747
I was not looking
you over, paranoid.
175
00:07:35,788 --> 00:07:39,087
Don't know what
you're talking about.
176
00:07:39,125 --> 00:07:41,025
- Hi.
- Hi, Susie.
177
00:07:41,060 --> 00:07:43,290
Excuse me. Excuse me.
178
00:07:43,329 --> 00:07:46,230
Are you the gentleman
who was just talking
179
00:07:46,265 --> 00:07:48,733
to my kids out there
by the lemonade stand?
180
00:07:48,768 --> 00:07:51,794
I was by the lemonade stand
talking to some youngsters.
181
00:07:51,838 --> 00:07:55,137
Because apparently
some guy came over
182
00:07:55,174 --> 00:07:56,937
and started making fun
of their lemonade.
183
00:07:56,976 --> 00:07:59,444
- Yeah?
- Was that you, perchance?
184
00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:02,312
- Guilty.
- What... what's wrong with you?
185
00:08:02,348 --> 00:08:03,906
I think they deserve
an adult critique.
186
00:08:03,950 --> 00:08:06,475
If they're gonna charge a dollar
and give you this much lemonade...
187
00:08:06,519 --> 00:08:08,214
I felt a little ripped off.
188
00:08:08,254 --> 00:08:10,722
- You knew it was kids at a stand...
- Right, it's kids.
189
00:08:10,756 --> 00:08:12,724
...selling lemonade. Your choice.
190
00:08:12,758 --> 00:08:15,659
The stand needs a little supervision,
that's all I'm saying.
191
00:08:15,695 --> 00:08:17,788
You know what?
They're in that little kid bubble.
192
00:08:17,830 --> 00:08:20,890
They're buds, and you just...
you know, just piss all over it.
193
00:08:20,933 --> 00:08:22,958
I didn't piss on the buds.
194
00:08:23,002 --> 00:08:25,095
No, I helped the buds.
I'm helping the buds grow.
195
00:08:25,137 --> 00:08:27,662
- I'm good for buds.
- Stay away from the buds, Larry.
196
00:08:27,707 --> 00:08:31,234
- May I be excused?
- Get the hell out of here.
197
00:08:31,277 --> 00:08:33,677
Let me tell you something.
Yeah, you.
198
00:08:33,713 --> 00:08:36,477
You talk to my kids again,
calling the cops.
199
00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:38,507
Duly noted.
200
00:08:45,658 --> 00:08:47,523
Hi. Virginia Sloan.
201
00:08:47,560 --> 00:08:49,289
- Please sign in.
- Okay.
202
00:08:49,328 --> 00:08:52,126
- Virginia.
- Cheryl.
203
00:08:52,164 --> 00:08:53,654
Oh my God.
204
00:08:53,699 --> 00:08:55,360
You're auditioning?
205
00:08:55,401 --> 00:08:56,868
Yeah.
206
00:08:56,903 --> 00:08:58,928
For the same part,
how strange.
207
00:08:58,971 --> 00:09:01,735
- Oh my God, are you here for Amanda?
- Yeah, I am.
208
00:09:01,774 --> 00:09:03,366
- Hmm.
- That is so weird.
209
00:09:03,409 --> 00:09:06,310
Why would you have to audition?
It's based on you.
210
00:09:06,345 --> 00:09:08,711
Well, you know,
211
00:09:08,748 --> 00:09:10,909
I think it's a part...
part of the process that...
212
00:09:10,950 --> 00:09:13,043
- I don't know.
- That's weird that he would make you...
213
00:09:13,085 --> 00:09:14,916
Larry was explaining it to me.
214
00:09:14,954 --> 00:09:17,388
- Hey, how's Dennis?
- He's really good.
215
00:09:17,423 --> 00:09:18,981
- Is he?
- He's really good, yeah.
216
00:09:19,025 --> 00:09:20,549
You know, actually,
I'm meeting him
217
00:09:20,593 --> 00:09:23,221
for lunch later today.
218
00:09:23,262 --> 00:09:25,958
- Do you want to maybe join us?
- I would love to.
219
00:09:25,998 --> 00:09:28,330
- Yeah?
- Yeah, catch up with you guys.
220
00:09:28,367 --> 00:09:30,460
- I haven't seen you in forever.
- That would be great.
221
00:09:30,503 --> 00:09:32,471
- I hate auditioning.
- Cheryl, you're next.
222
00:09:32,505 --> 00:09:34,439
- Okay, I'm next.
- Good luck.
223
00:09:34,473 --> 00:09:36,373
- Good luck to you.
- You don't need any luck.
224
00:09:36,409 --> 00:09:39,537
- You're gonna get it.
- Well, who knows?
225
00:09:39,579 --> 00:09:42,309
Cheryl's here to read for Amanda.
226
00:09:42,348 --> 00:09:43,815
- Oh.
- Hi.
227
00:09:43,849 --> 00:09:46,147
- Hi, Cheryl.
- Hey.
228
00:09:46,185 --> 00:09:47,652
- This is...
- How are you doing?
229
00:09:47,687 --> 00:09:49,154
- Hey, I'm good.
- Why don't you go?
230
00:09:49,188 --> 00:09:50,655
- Go ahead.
- Okay.
231
00:09:50,690 --> 00:09:52,157
- All right.
- All right.
232
00:09:52,191 --> 00:09:53,749
- Hey.
- Hey, Larry.
233
00:09:53,793 --> 00:09:56,728
This is weird. Oh my God.
234
00:09:56,762 --> 00:09:58,491
What's going on with that?
235
00:09:58,531 --> 00:10:00,396
Oh...
236
00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:02,025
well, I was in a store yesterday.
237
00:10:02,068 --> 00:10:04,002
I was going to...
I was just trying these on
238
00:10:04,036 --> 00:10:06,163
and then an alarm went off.
239
00:10:06,205 --> 00:10:08,105
We all went out of the store,
240
00:10:08,140 --> 00:10:09,937
and I didn't feel like waiting around.
241
00:10:09,976 --> 00:10:11,500
So I'm gonna return them today.
242
00:10:11,544 --> 00:10:13,876
Why didn't you just wear
your own pants today?
243
00:10:13,913 --> 00:10:16,677
'Cause then I'd have
to carry these around.
244
00:10:16,716 --> 00:10:18,343
Now I don't have
to carry anything.
245
00:10:18,384 --> 00:10:20,682
He wears the pants
instead of carrying the pants.
246
00:10:20,720 --> 00:10:22,415
- That's smart.
- Yeah.
247
00:10:22,455 --> 00:10:24,013
- Shall we get started?
- Yes.
248
00:10:24,056 --> 00:10:26,047
Why hold a hat when
you could just put it on your head?
249
00:10:26,092 --> 00:10:27,787
- Wear a hat.
- Yeah, exactly.
250
00:10:27,827 --> 00:10:29,886
But it's not a hat,
it's a pair of pants with a security...
251
00:10:29,929 --> 00:10:31,419
- So what?
- Okay.
252
00:10:31,464 --> 00:10:34,194
And so, I'm on an airplane
and I'm on the phone.
253
00:10:34,233 --> 00:10:36,292
- Right.
- Ahem, anytime?
254
00:10:36,335 --> 00:10:37,893
Ready? Hello?
255
00:10:37,937 --> 00:10:40,030
George? Oh my God.
256
00:10:40,072 --> 00:10:41,733
Honey, you couldn't
call at a worse time.
257
00:10:41,774 --> 00:10:43,639
- I got the TiVo guy here.
- Oh my God, George,
258
00:10:43,676 --> 00:10:45,610
we're going through
a really big storm right now.
259
00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:47,408
Hold on, honey. What?
You need the warranty?
260
00:10:47,446 --> 00:10:48,913
Honey, let me
ask you a question.
261
00:10:48,948 --> 00:10:51,007
Do you know where
the warranty card is on the TiVo?
262
00:10:51,050 --> 00:10:52,847
No no, I don't. L...
263
00:10:52,885 --> 00:10:54,716
hey, in case something
happens to me...
264
00:10:54,754 --> 00:10:56,619
I mean, it's really
bad up here...
265
00:10:56,656 --> 00:10:58,715
- Is it in the kitchen drawer by any chance?
- What?
266
00:10:58,758 --> 00:11:00,419
I'm sorry, can't hear you.
What is that?
267
00:11:00,459 --> 00:11:01,926
What did you say?
268
00:11:01,961 --> 00:11:03,895
George, I just wanna
tell you in case...
269
00:11:03,929 --> 00:11:06,489
No, not you, honey, the TiVo guy.
Hold on one second.
270
00:11:06,532 --> 00:11:09,330
...for some reason
if I don't make it...
271
00:11:09,368 --> 00:11:11,063
The TiVo guy wants to know
the name of the guy
272
00:11:11,103 --> 00:11:12,764
who installed this thing.
273
00:11:12,805 --> 00:11:14,932
I don't know!
I don't know his name.
274
00:11:14,974 --> 00:11:17,772
- Was it Tom or something?
- I just want you to know...
275
00:11:17,810 --> 00:11:20,438
Or Don, something like that?
Maybe Bill or James?
276
00:11:20,479 --> 00:11:22,572
- Oh my God.
- Wait wait, don't go.
277
00:11:22,615 --> 00:11:24,674
- What?
- No. Oh, jeez. Honey, no, I'm sorry.
278
00:11:24,717 --> 00:11:26,480
You know what?
The TiVo guy's gonna go.
279
00:11:26,519 --> 00:11:30,011
- I'm never gonna get him again.
- It's just a TiVo guy.
280
00:11:30,056 --> 00:11:31,751
Honey, call me back
in 10 minutes, okay?
281
00:11:31,791 --> 00:11:34,419
- What?!
- I'm sorry, sweetheart. I love you.
282
00:11:34,460 --> 00:11:38,157
George. George!
283
00:11:38,197 --> 00:11:40,392
- Nice.
- That's it.
284
00:11:40,433 --> 00:11:42,424
- Great.
- Very good.
285
00:11:42,468 --> 00:11:44,698
Aw, it's a little nerve-racking
in here with you guys.
286
00:11:44,737 --> 00:11:46,637
- That was great.
- It's the same for everybody.
287
00:11:46,672 --> 00:11:48,139
- That was great.
- Yeah.
288
00:11:48,174 --> 00:11:50,142
- Okay.
- I think you did great.
289
00:11:50,176 --> 00:11:52,144
- Thank you.
- That was really good. You're funny.
290
00:11:52,178 --> 00:11:53,645
- All right.
- Great work.
291
00:11:53,679 --> 00:11:55,306
- Thank you, Mark.
- Thanks for coming in.
292
00:11:55,347 --> 00:11:57,440
- Thanks, guys. So we'll talk later?
- Yeah.
293
00:11:57,483 --> 00:11:59,110
- Just a formality, right?
- Yeah.
294
00:11:59,151 --> 00:12:00,948
Okay. Uh...
295
00:12:00,986 --> 00:12:02,476
- Well done, Cheryl.
- Thanks, Jerry.
296
00:12:02,521 --> 00:12:05,081
- I'll see you.
- Fantastic.
297
00:12:05,124 --> 00:12:06,751
- Thanks, Cheryl.
- Thank you, Mark.
298
00:12:06,792 --> 00:12:08,851
- Good to see you. Bye.
- Okay, thanks.
299
00:12:08,894 --> 00:12:10,953
- She's pretty good.
- Pretty good?
300
00:12:10,996 --> 00:12:13,294
- Yeah, she's pretty good.
- That was insane, okay?
301
00:12:13,332 --> 00:12:15,459
I mean, that was...
that was perfect.
302
00:12:15,501 --> 00:12:17,298
- Perfect.
- Yeah, she was good.
303
00:12:17,336 --> 00:12:19,804
- Really natural. Nice solid reading.
- Everything we want.
304
00:12:19,839 --> 00:12:22,831
I knew she was good,
never knew she was that good.
305
00:12:22,875 --> 00:12:25,639
I mean, she was great.
That was a great audition.
306
00:12:25,678 --> 00:12:28,146
- Great.
- Should we move on?
307
00:12:28,180 --> 00:12:30,375
I think we can close up shop,
to tell you the truth.
308
00:12:30,416 --> 00:12:31,940
Well, I think
we should see everybody.
309
00:12:31,984 --> 00:12:35,886
I know, but, you know,
no one's gonna beat that.
310
00:12:35,921 --> 00:12:38,287
Honey, in case
something happens to me...
311
00:12:38,324 --> 00:12:39,791
I mean, it's really bad.
312
00:12:39,825 --> 00:12:42,089
- Is it in the kitchen drawer by any chance?
- What?
313
00:12:42,128 --> 00:12:43,720
I'm sorry, can't hear you.
What is that?
314
00:12:43,763 --> 00:12:46,095
George, I just wanna
tell you just in case...
315
00:12:46,132 --> 00:12:47,759
No, not you, honey,
the TiVo guy.
316
00:12:47,800 --> 00:12:49,961
...for some reason
I don't make it home...
317
00:12:50,002 --> 00:12:51,697
The TiVo guy wants to know
the name of the guy
318
00:12:51,737 --> 00:12:53,204
who installed this thing.
319
00:12:53,239 --> 00:12:54,934
Ugh, I don't know.
I don't know his name.
320
00:12:54,974 --> 00:12:57,374
Was it Tom or something?
321
00:12:57,409 --> 00:13:00,173
- I just... I need you...
- Or Don, something like that?
322
00:13:00,212 --> 00:13:01,736
Maybe Bill or James?
323
00:13:01,781 --> 00:13:03,271
Oh, no no.
Jeez, honey, I'm sorry.
324
00:13:03,315 --> 00:13:04,942
You know what?
The TiVo guy's gonna go.
325
00:13:04,984 --> 00:13:07,919
- I'm never gonna get him again.
- It is just a TiVo guy!
326
00:13:07,953 --> 00:13:10,387
Honey, call me back
in 10 minutes, okay?
327
00:13:10,422 --> 00:13:12,515
- What?
- I'm sorry, sweetheart. I love you.
328
00:13:12,558 --> 00:13:14,549
George!
329
00:13:17,096 --> 00:13:18,620
- That was great.
- Really good.
330
00:13:18,664 --> 00:13:20,131
- Really great.
- No, it wasn't.
331
00:13:20,166 --> 00:13:21,633
Really great, Virginia.
Thank you.
332
00:13:21,667 --> 00:13:23,726
- Ugh, I hope it was okay.
- It was great.
333
00:13:23,769 --> 00:13:25,236
I'm terrible at auditioning.
334
00:13:25,271 --> 00:13:27,535
- No no.
- It was really good.
335
00:13:27,573 --> 00:13:29,598
Thank you. A pleasure.
336
00:13:29,642 --> 00:13:32,042
- It was really nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
337
00:13:32,077 --> 00:13:34,545
- Bye.
- Bye.
338
00:13:34,580 --> 00:13:36,047
See you later.
Great job.
339
00:13:36,081 --> 00:13:38,072
- Thanks. See you.
- Bye.
340
00:13:39,418 --> 00:13:40,908
- Wow.
- Nice.
341
00:13:40,953 --> 00:13:42,921
You can see why
she's gotten so much work.
342
00:13:42,955 --> 00:13:46,447
- Yeah, she's terrific.
- That was like, "Hello, pro."
343
00:13:46,492 --> 00:13:48,084
You know, she... she was good.
344
00:13:48,127 --> 00:13:50,288
She was good, but honestly...
345
00:13:50,329 --> 00:13:53,093
I know probably you think
346
00:13:53,132 --> 00:13:54,759
it's hard for me
to be objective here,
347
00:13:54,800 --> 00:13:56,427
but I thought
Cheryl was better.
348
00:13:56,468 --> 00:13:57,992
I mean,
this is Cheryl, this part.
349
00:13:58,037 --> 00:14:00,904
She was on that plane.
She lived this part. That was her.
350
00:14:00,940 --> 00:14:02,999
Who cares who was
on the plane?
351
00:14:03,042 --> 00:14:05,840
It's not a real plane.
It's not a real show. It's not a real story.
352
00:14:05,878 --> 00:14:07,573
You know,
when we shoot this,
353
00:14:07,613 --> 00:14:09,240
they're gonna cut
the plane in half.
354
00:14:09,281 --> 00:14:10,976
It's not even gonna
be a whole plane.
355
00:14:11,016 --> 00:14:14,144
I believed Cheryl more
than I believed Virginia.
356
00:14:14,186 --> 00:14:16,814
Well, a girl like that,
if you can get her,
357
00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:18,323
it's like "Let's get on board
358
00:14:18,357 --> 00:14:20,325
the Virginia Sloan, toot toot.
359
00:14:20,359 --> 00:14:21,883
Next stop, Comedy Town."
360
00:14:21,927 --> 00:14:24,327
- Well...
- So it's... it's...
361
00:14:24,363 --> 00:14:27,127
...I don't know what to tell you.
We're at loggerheads here.
362
00:14:27,166 --> 00:14:29,634
Well, I guess we're in
a tie-break situation then.
363
00:14:29,668 --> 00:14:31,295
Mark?
364
00:14:31,337 --> 00:14:33,737
Look, I think Cheryl
really set the bar at the time,
365
00:14:33,772 --> 00:14:37,640
but you cannot deny that
that audition was outstanding.
366
00:14:37,676 --> 00:14:39,644
I'd go with Virginia.
367
00:14:39,678 --> 00:14:41,612
- She's an incredible actress.
- Incredible.
368
00:14:41,647 --> 00:14:43,979
I can't believe she's even reading
for something like this.
369
00:14:44,016 --> 00:14:45,677
Yeah.
370
00:14:45,718 --> 00:14:47,345
You know,
it was amazing.
371
00:14:47,386 --> 00:14:49,547
Look, believe me,
you probably
372
00:14:49,588 --> 00:14:51,954
are gonna be better off
373
00:14:51,991 --> 00:14:55,586
because working with someone
who you were involved with,
374
00:14:55,628 --> 00:14:57,528
you know, there could be
some tension there.
375
00:14:57,563 --> 00:14:59,724
You'll be glad that...
376
00:14:59,765 --> 00:15:02,666
that there's no chance of anything
happening with you and Cheryl.
377
00:15:02,701 --> 00:15:04,896
You'll see. Don't worry,
Cheryl will be fine.
378
00:15:04,937 --> 00:15:07,838
You're gonna be
very happy.
379
00:15:07,873 --> 00:15:09,966
All right,
we'll go with Virginia.
380
00:15:10,009 --> 00:15:12,068
Good, all right, we'll go with...
381
00:15:20,185 --> 00:15:22,813
Have a nice day.
382
00:15:22,855 --> 00:15:24,322
- Hi.
- Hey.
383
00:15:24,356 --> 00:15:25,846
- Welcome back.
- You remember me?
384
00:15:25,891 --> 00:15:27,358
I remember you from the fire.
385
00:15:27,393 --> 00:15:31,193
- My pants were left in the dressing room.
- They were?
386
00:15:31,230 --> 00:15:33,255
'Cause I couldn't hang around
till the store opened.
387
00:15:33,299 --> 00:15:34,994
And I need to pay
for the ones I'm wearing.
388
00:15:35,034 --> 00:15:37,161
Um...
389
00:15:37,202 --> 00:15:40,399
I don't see... they're not...
they're not here.
390
00:15:40,439 --> 00:15:42,407
They're not here, so...
391
00:15:42,441 --> 00:15:44,409
What are you...
how could they not be there?
392
00:15:44,443 --> 00:15:47,537
Every night they completely
clean out the dressing room,
393
00:15:47,579 --> 00:15:49,547
and anything that's in there
they put it in here
394
00:15:49,581 --> 00:15:52,345
in the lost and found
and it's not... it's not here.
395
00:15:52,384 --> 00:15:55,615
- So you've lost my pants?
- I'm... I'm sorry, they're gone.
396
00:15:55,654 --> 00:15:59,647
So how would you like
to pay for those?
397
00:16:01,694 --> 00:16:04,993
Well, how could
I pay for the pants
398
00:16:05,030 --> 00:16:08,022
if you lost my pants?
That doesn't seem fair.
399
00:16:08,067 --> 00:16:09,728
First of all, we didn't lose them.
They're gone.
400
00:16:09,768 --> 00:16:11,668
There's a difference
between lost and gone?
401
00:16:11,704 --> 00:16:14,138
- Yes. Lost is different than gone.
- They're lost and gone.
402
00:16:14,173 --> 00:16:16,641
If they're lost, they'd be here
in the lost and found.
403
00:16:16,675 --> 00:16:18,302
They're gone
and that's the difference.
404
00:16:18,344 --> 00:16:20,278
No, if they were lost,
they wouldn't be there.
405
00:16:20,312 --> 00:16:22,041
They'd be lost,
which they are.
406
00:16:22,081 --> 00:16:25,107
Okay, we have a sign
in the fitting room that says that
407
00:16:25,150 --> 00:16:27,084
we're not responsible
for any lost items.
408
00:16:27,119 --> 00:16:30,020
Good for you. I got a sign
at my house, okay?
409
00:16:30,055 --> 00:16:32,751
It says "If somebody takes
your pants, you take theirs."
410
00:16:32,791 --> 00:16:35,282
- That's my sign.
- That's a stupid made-up sign.
411
00:16:35,327 --> 00:16:37,625
That doesn't exist.
Nobody has a sign like that.
412
00:16:37,663 --> 00:16:39,130
Of course I don't
have a sign like that.
413
00:16:39,164 --> 00:16:41,291
I just made it up for the purposes
of this discussion.
414
00:16:41,333 --> 00:16:44,166
- It's obvious I made it up.
- I don't know what you believe.
415
00:16:44,203 --> 00:16:46,068
You might believe
these things you say.
416
00:16:46,105 --> 00:16:48,005
So you might believe that I put up
a sign in my bedroom that says
417
00:16:48,040 --> 00:16:49,507
"If you take my pants,
I take yours"?
418
00:16:49,541 --> 00:16:51,600
So it's not that unfathomable.
419
00:16:51,643 --> 00:16:53,270
Okay, you have
to replace my pants.
420
00:16:53,312 --> 00:16:55,041
I'm not gonna pay
for these pants.
421
00:16:55,080 --> 00:16:57,605
No, 'cause you're gonna walk around
with a security tag on that
422
00:16:57,649 --> 00:16:59,446
and someone's gonna
arrest you or something.
423
00:16:59,485 --> 00:17:01,112
It's like a scarlet letter.
424
00:17:01,153 --> 00:17:03,178
I'm happy to wear the scarlet letter.
Call me Hester.
425
00:17:03,222 --> 00:17:05,554
- I won't call you Hester.
- Call me Hester.
426
00:17:05,591 --> 00:17:07,024
I won't call you Hester.
427
00:17:07,059 --> 00:17:09,527
You're not... sir, you cannot leave
with those pants.
428
00:17:09,561 --> 00:17:11,085
Really?
429
00:17:11,130 --> 00:17:13,621
It's gonna
follow you around, that sound.
430
00:17:16,135 --> 00:17:18,433
- Larry.
- Hi.
431
00:17:18,470 --> 00:17:21,598
- Did you just set off the alarm in there?
- Yeah, I-I did.
432
00:17:21,640 --> 00:17:24,609
What are you doing? I thought
you were gonna get your other pants.
433
00:17:24,643 --> 00:17:26,474
They... they don't
have my other pants.
434
00:17:26,512 --> 00:17:30,004
They lost them,
so I took these.
435
00:17:30,049 --> 00:17:32,643
What did everybody say
about the audition?
436
00:17:32,684 --> 00:17:36,347
- Um...
- Oh, no.
437
00:17:36,388 --> 00:17:39,016
- I wasn't good.
- No, you were great.
438
00:17:39,058 --> 00:17:41,356
- You weren't good, you were great.
- Oh, God.
439
00:17:41,393 --> 00:17:43,361
But, I don't know,
440
00:17:43,395 --> 00:17:45,829
Jerry wants to
give it to Virginia.
441
00:17:47,166 --> 00:17:50,135
I'm so sorry.
442
00:17:50,169 --> 00:17:53,297
- I thought this was a formality.
- I thought so too.
443
00:17:53,338 --> 00:17:54,828
I thought it was
a done deal.
444
00:17:54,873 --> 00:17:56,397
- I thought so too.
- Oh, gosh.
445
00:17:56,442 --> 00:18:00,173
- And I'm sorry. I apologize.
- Virginia got it?
446
00:18:00,212 --> 00:18:02,180
I mean, she'll be...
she'll be great.
447
00:18:02,214 --> 00:18:04,444
- I'm sure she's thrilled.
- She'll be okay. She's not you.
448
00:18:04,483 --> 00:18:06,474
I know, but I'm glad
that she got it if I didn't get it.
449
00:18:06,518 --> 00:18:08,179
- That's good.
- Ugh.
450
00:18:08,220 --> 00:18:09,687
We actually all got together,
451
00:18:09,721 --> 00:18:13,623
Dennis and Virginia
and me, and had lunch.
452
00:18:13,659 --> 00:18:15,251
Got a little crazy, actually.
453
00:18:15,294 --> 00:18:19,060
Dennis, after a few
glasses of wine...
454
00:18:19,098 --> 00:18:22,067
oh, you know,
Virginia went to the bathroom
455
00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:25,867
and he asked me if I was interested
in a m�nage � trois.
456
00:18:25,904 --> 00:18:29,431
I mean, I was...
457
00:18:29,475 --> 00:18:31,033
I mean, I was
a little flattered.
458
00:18:31,076 --> 00:18:33,840
- I just thought you'd find it funny.
- Funny?
459
00:18:33,879 --> 00:18:36,211
- That's funny.
- That's funny?
460
00:18:36,248 --> 00:18:38,546
I don't find that funny at all.
Who does he think he is?
461
00:18:38,584 --> 00:18:40,984
- First of all, you're my ex-wife, okay?
- Okay.
462
00:18:41,019 --> 00:18:42,646
If you're gonna have
a m�nage with anybody,
463
00:18:42,688 --> 00:18:44,349
it's gonna be with me,
not with him.
464
00:18:44,389 --> 00:18:47,381
Why would I want to be
in a m�nage with you?
465
00:18:47,426 --> 00:18:50,054
Well, you wouldn't.
But if you're going to do it,
466
00:18:50,095 --> 00:18:52,063
I'd prefer that it would be
with me, that's all.
467
00:18:52,097 --> 00:18:54,531
Okay.
468
00:18:54,566 --> 00:18:58,627
- He was serious?
- Yeah, he was serious.
469
00:18:58,670 --> 00:19:01,639
Yeah yeah.
470
00:19:14,486 --> 00:19:16,647
Yes, it's more money.
471
00:19:16,688 --> 00:19:18,588
It's a lot more money,
but I can do it for you.
472
00:19:18,624 --> 00:19:20,148
Hang on. Yeah.
473
00:19:20,192 --> 00:19:22,160
Look, I'll meet you
in 20 minutes, all right?
474
00:19:22,194 --> 00:19:24,788
Right there at the site.
Hi, Larry, what's up?
475
00:19:24,830 --> 00:19:26,798
You asked my wife
to be in a threesome?
476
00:19:26,832 --> 00:19:29,198
- Wife?
- Yes.
477
00:19:29,234 --> 00:19:30,997
- You mean ex-wife.
- Whatever.
478
00:19:31,036 --> 00:19:33,095
- There's a difference.
- No, there is no difference.
479
00:19:33,138 --> 00:19:35,834
You don't need to concern yourself
with the difference, okay?
480
00:19:35,874 --> 00:19:37,865
All right, fine.
481
00:19:40,179 --> 00:19:43,945
Yes, I asked your ex-wife
482
00:19:43,982 --> 00:19:46,974
if she would like to be
in a threesome with my current wife.
483
00:19:47,019 --> 00:19:48,987
- What is wrong with you?
- What's it to you, Larry?
484
00:19:49,021 --> 00:19:50,488
- What's it to me?
- Yeah.
485
00:19:50,522 --> 00:19:52,251
Because I-I have feelings for her
486
00:19:52,291 --> 00:19:53,918
and I don't need you
to defile her, okay?
487
00:19:53,959 --> 00:19:55,586
I would not be defiling her.
488
00:19:55,627 --> 00:19:57,254
Whatever two people do,
or three people do,
489
00:19:57,296 --> 00:19:58,763
in the privacy of their own homes
is their own business.
490
00:19:58,797 --> 00:20:00,355
Yeah, I've heard
that bullshit.
491
00:20:00,399 --> 00:20:02,128
She's not interested
in doing anything
492
00:20:02,167 --> 00:20:04,328
in the privacy
of your home, okay?
493
00:20:04,369 --> 00:20:06,496
- Oh, really?
- Yeah, really.
494
00:20:06,538 --> 00:20:08,005
That remains to be seen.
495
00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:10,008
What does that mean?
496
00:20:10,042 --> 00:20:13,808
Larry, just because
Cheryl is curious
497
00:20:13,845 --> 00:20:16,040
doesn't mean you have any right
to get mad at me, okay?
498
00:20:16,081 --> 00:20:18,015
- Chill out.
- Curious?
499
00:20:18,050 --> 00:20:19,813
- Did you say curious?
- Curious.
500
00:20:19,851 --> 00:20:21,751
What are you talking about?
501
00:20:30,696 --> 00:20:32,664
- Hey.
- Hey.
502
00:20:36,768 --> 00:20:38,736
- What are you doing?
- Nothing.
503
00:20:38,770 --> 00:20:40,965
What do you mean nothing?
What's all this fidget?
504
00:20:41,006 --> 00:20:42,473
What are you talking about?
505
00:20:42,507 --> 00:20:44,600
I'm talking about your underwear.
506
00:20:44,643 --> 00:20:46,110
Uncomfortable or something?
507
00:20:46,144 --> 00:20:48,977
I have a little problem
with my underwear.
508
00:20:49,014 --> 00:20:50,709
All of a sudden out of nowhere?
509
00:20:50,749 --> 00:20:53,377
- Do you have a new brand or something?
- Yeah, I do.
510
00:20:53,418 --> 00:20:55,249
Really?
Where'd you buy them?
511
00:20:55,287 --> 00:20:57,255
- Online.
- Online?
512
00:20:57,289 --> 00:20:59,257
That's a load of shit.
You don't know how to use a computer.
513
00:20:59,291 --> 00:21:01,657
The last man on earth,
but you don't know how to use a computer.
514
00:21:01,693 --> 00:21:03,991
- How do you buy it online?
- My assistant buys it for me.
515
00:21:04,029 --> 00:21:05,894
Oh, really?
From what website?
516
00:21:05,931 --> 00:21:08,866
- What site does she buy it from?
- Hi hi hi.
517
00:21:08,900 --> 00:21:11,266
- Larry and I gotta talk about some stuff.
- Yeah, I bet you do.
518
00:21:11,303 --> 00:21:14,295
You always have to
talk about some stuff.
519
00:21:16,308 --> 00:21:19,505
Clearly she is not
believing a word of this.
520
00:21:19,544 --> 00:21:22,638
- I thought she was buying it at first.
- She's not buying it.
521
00:21:22,681 --> 00:21:24,672
You botched the whole thing.
What are you doing?
522
00:21:24,716 --> 00:21:27,276
- It's crazy.
- I'm doing the best I can, you know.
523
00:21:27,319 --> 00:21:29,810
I'm... I'm trying to play
like slight transvestite.
524
00:21:29,855 --> 00:21:31,550
- Slight transvestite?
- Yes.
525
00:21:31,590 --> 00:21:34,616
It's a comfort thing.
Don't add a transvestite level to this.
526
00:21:34,660 --> 00:21:37,424
A guy who wears
women's underwear is... is part tranny.
527
00:21:37,462 --> 00:21:39,089
- He's not part tranny.
- He's part tranny.
528
00:21:39,131 --> 00:21:41,395
No, you're crazy.
He wants comfort.
529
00:21:41,433 --> 00:21:43,060
You're comfortable, that's it.
530
00:21:43,101 --> 00:21:44,625
You're Larry David
and you like comfort
531
00:21:44,670 --> 00:21:46,604
in women's panties, all right?
532
00:21:46,638 --> 00:21:49,129
- Simple.
- No, it's not so simple. It's not so simple.
533
00:21:49,174 --> 00:21:51,039
- Shh shh!
- I don't know how to play that,
534
00:21:51,076 --> 00:21:53,408
- "I like the comfort of woman's panties."
- That's it, that's all.
535
00:21:53,445 --> 00:21:55,208
- How do you play...
- Ask me a question.
536
00:21:55,247 --> 00:21:58,444
- Where do you get your underwear?
- Many different places.
537
00:21:58,483 --> 00:22:01,509
Stop overacting,
just keep it on the down, okay?
538
00:22:01,553 --> 00:22:03,748
Come on.
All right?
539
00:22:03,789 --> 00:22:05,757
You're Larry David.
Who are you?
540
00:22:05,791 --> 00:22:08,055
- I'm Larry David.
- And what do you happen to enjoy?
541
00:22:08,093 --> 00:22:10,891
- I enjoy wearing women's panties.
- Perfect, that's it.
542
00:22:10,929 --> 00:22:13,090
- I'm very comfortable with that.
- Very comfortable.
543
00:22:13,131 --> 00:22:14,792
Listen, I got
big fucking news.
544
00:22:14,833 --> 00:22:16,391
Huge. You ready for this?
545
00:22:16,435 --> 00:22:19,962
I got a call from Virginia.
She can't do the part.
546
00:22:20,005 --> 00:22:22,803
She's in a neck brace.
547
00:22:22,841 --> 00:22:24,604
- You're kidding.
- No.
548
00:22:24,643 --> 00:22:27,168
- Oh my God.
- Yes, and you know what that means.
549
00:22:27,212 --> 00:22:29,442
- Cheryl's gonna do the part.
- Cheryl's gonna do the part.
550
00:22:29,481 --> 00:22:32,348
- This is fantastic.
- Yes, it's unbelievable.
551
00:22:32,384 --> 00:22:34,614
What... what happened?
552
00:22:34,653 --> 00:22:36,621
She wouldn't tell me.
I said, "What happened?"
553
00:22:36,655 --> 00:22:38,452
And she said,
"It's not important."
554
00:22:38,490 --> 00:22:41,926
- Hmm.
- Yeah.
555
00:22:41,960 --> 00:22:44,929
- Interesting.
- What?
556
00:22:44,963 --> 00:22:48,194
- As far as I know...
- Yeah?
557
00:22:48,233 --> 00:22:49,928
...there's only two ways
you can injure your neck.
558
00:22:49,968 --> 00:22:51,663
Mm-hmm.
559
00:22:51,703 --> 00:22:54,672
- One is a car accident.
- Yeah.
560
00:22:54,706 --> 00:22:57,004
- The other's cunnilingus.
- Mm-hmm.
561
00:22:57,042 --> 00:22:58,703
If it wasn't a car accident,
562
00:22:58,744 --> 00:23:02,009
she injured her neck
going down on Cheryl.
563
00:23:02,047 --> 00:23:04,106
- Cheryl? Oh my God.
- Yes!
564
00:23:04,149 --> 00:23:05,980
- They had a m�nage � trois.
- You don't know that.
565
00:23:06,017 --> 00:23:09,180
It could've been a car accident.
You don't know.
566
00:23:09,221 --> 00:23:10,848
Let's check her car.
567
00:23:10,889 --> 00:23:12,754
All right,
let's check her car.
568
00:23:12,791 --> 00:23:14,986
- All right, who are you?
- I'm Larry David.
569
00:23:15,026 --> 00:23:16,823
And what do you
happen to enjoy?
570
00:23:16,862 --> 00:23:18,591
- I enjoy wearing women's panties.
- Let's go.
571
00:23:26,605 --> 00:23:28,072
Hey.
572
00:23:28,106 --> 00:23:29,698
What are you, an idiot?
573
00:23:29,741 --> 00:23:32,232
- I didn't... sorry.
- Ouch.
574
00:23:37,816 --> 00:23:40,114
- It's clean.
- Clean.
575
00:23:40,152 --> 00:23:41,642
See anything?
576
00:23:41,686 --> 00:23:43,677
I don't see
any damage at all.
577
00:23:48,760 --> 00:23:51,024
Nothing.
578
00:23:51,062 --> 00:23:54,623
- Cheryl.
- Cunnilingus.
579
00:23:54,666 --> 00:23:56,827
Look out.
580
00:24:08,413 --> 00:24:11,507
So...
581
00:24:11,550 --> 00:24:13,780
I have some news.
582
00:24:13,819 --> 00:24:18,188
Virginia can't do the part.
583
00:24:18,223 --> 00:24:19,850
You're playing George's ex-wife.
584
00:24:19,891 --> 00:24:22,917
I'm gonna play George's ex-wife?
585
00:24:22,961 --> 00:24:24,690
Are you kidding me?
586
00:24:24,729 --> 00:24:27,289
- Congratulations.
- And everybody's on board with this?
587
00:24:27,332 --> 00:24:29,994
- Jerry... Jerry said yes...
- Yeah.
588
00:24:30,035 --> 00:24:31,935
...and you talked it over and...
- Yeah.
589
00:24:31,970 --> 00:24:34,598
I can't believe you didn't call me
as soon as you heard the news.
590
00:24:34,639 --> 00:24:37,574
- I wanted to, you know, save it.
- This is so fantastic.
591
00:24:37,609 --> 00:24:41,101
- Huh?
- So I can tell my mom and everybody?
592
00:24:41,146 --> 00:24:42,943
Tell all your family.
Tell them all, yeah.
593
00:24:42,981 --> 00:24:45,449
- And mention me when you tell them.
- I will mention you.
594
00:24:45,484 --> 00:24:47,179
That's unbelievable.
Thank you.
595
00:24:47,219 --> 00:24:49,653
- I kinda put the whole thing together.
- Thank you, Larry.
596
00:24:49,688 --> 00:24:52,589
Wow, so what happened
with Virginia?
597
00:24:52,624 --> 00:24:55,149
Why can't she do it?
598
00:24:55,193 --> 00:24:58,253
What an interesting question.
599
00:24:59,664 --> 00:25:01,131
Why can't she do it?
600
00:25:01,166 --> 00:25:03,293
Well...
601
00:25:03,335 --> 00:25:07,237
it seems as if Virginia hurt her neck.
602
00:25:07,272 --> 00:25:08,739
- Mmm.
- Ooh.
603
00:25:08,773 --> 00:25:10,468
How did she hurt her neck?
604
00:25:13,044 --> 00:25:15,012
Very good, very good.
605
00:25:15,046 --> 00:25:17,606
- What?
- You're good. You're good.
606
00:25:17,649 --> 00:25:19,276
I don't know what
you're talking about.
607
00:25:19,317 --> 00:25:21,285
You're gonna do
very well in this part.
608
00:25:21,319 --> 00:25:24,288
- How did she hurt her neck?
- How did she hurt her neck?
609
00:25:24,322 --> 00:25:26,950
- We all know...
- Mm-hmm.
610
00:25:26,992 --> 00:25:30,325
...there's only two ways a person
can injure their neck.
611
00:25:30,362 --> 00:25:32,125
One is a car accident.
612
00:25:32,163 --> 00:25:33,892
And she was not in a car accident
613
00:25:33,932 --> 00:25:35,559
because I checked the car.
614
00:25:35,600 --> 00:25:39,161
- Okay.
- The other is cunnilingus.
615
00:25:40,906 --> 00:25:42,533
And I submit
616
00:25:42,574 --> 00:25:45,407
she performed it
on you in a threesome.
617
00:25:47,245 --> 00:25:50,271
- Come on.
- What are you talking about?
618
00:25:50,315 --> 00:25:51,873
Listen, we're adults.
619
00:25:51,917 --> 00:25:53,407
- Let's just get past this.
- Oh my God.
620
00:25:53,451 --> 00:25:55,942
Because I told you about
Dennis and the three-way.
621
00:25:55,987 --> 00:25:57,955
- Please, stop.
- "There are two ways to injure"...
622
00:25:57,989 --> 00:26:00,048
there are other ways
to hurt your neck, Larry,
623
00:26:00,091 --> 00:26:01,558
besides having
to go down on someone.
624
00:26:01,593 --> 00:26:03,220
- That's ridiculous.
- Name one.
625
00:26:03,261 --> 00:26:05,126
- You could... painting.
- Painting?
626
00:26:05,163 --> 00:26:08,394
- Ugh.
- I never saw Michelangelo in a brace.
627
00:26:12,437 --> 00:26:15,167
- Hello?
- She doesn't believe me.
628
00:26:15,206 --> 00:26:17,037
She's gonna leave me.
She's gonna leave me, man.
629
00:26:17,075 --> 00:26:19,100
- I'm fucked!
- All right, calm down.
630
00:26:19,144 --> 00:26:20,873
She still thinks
the panties are mine.
631
00:26:20,912 --> 00:26:23,574
Jeffrey, where are you?
632
00:26:23,615 --> 00:26:25,583
I'll be right there.
633
00:26:25,617 --> 00:26:27,209
Think of something, all right?
634
00:26:27,252 --> 00:26:29,015
Come on, man,
I need your help!
635
00:26:29,054 --> 00:26:31,648
Okay, you know what?
I have an idea.
636
00:26:31,690 --> 00:26:33,157
- Really?
- I do.
637
00:26:33,191 --> 00:26:34,818
- Come over right now.
- It could work.
638
00:26:34,859 --> 00:26:37,487
Man, fuckin' panties.
639
00:26:37,529 --> 00:26:39,497
- I'm a fuckin' idiot.
- Okay, I'm coming over.
640
00:26:55,080 --> 00:26:57,241
- That's... that's the same guy.
- It is?
641
00:26:57,282 --> 00:26:59,273
- He used a bad word, Mom.
- Oh my God.
642
00:26:59,317 --> 00:27:01,683
What a jerk.
643
00:27:03,955 --> 00:27:06,583
It's a good plan,
but it's just gotta be natural.
644
00:27:06,625 --> 00:27:08,559
You can't just... you know,
it's gotta be natural.
645
00:27:08,593 --> 00:27:10,618
- I understand that.
- Okay.
646
00:27:10,662 --> 00:27:12,653
- Jeff?
- Yeah?
647
00:27:12,697 --> 00:27:14,722
Virginia got
in a really bad car accident.
648
00:27:14,766 --> 00:27:16,256
- What?
- Her neck is all fucked up.
649
00:27:16,301 --> 00:27:19,065
- She's in a brace.
- She didn't get in car accident, okay?
650
00:27:19,104 --> 00:27:20,935
I saw her car.
There's not a scratch on it.
651
00:27:20,972 --> 00:27:22,837
No, she did, Larry, okay?
652
00:27:22,874 --> 00:27:25,843
She was driving Dennis's car,
asshole know-it-all.
653
00:27:25,877 --> 00:27:27,435
His car's...
654
00:27:27,479 --> 00:27:30,073
His car is all fucked up.
Who's that?
655
00:27:30,115 --> 00:27:32,811
Yes, ma'am, I'm looking
for Larry David.
656
00:27:32,851 --> 00:27:35,081
Come right in.
657
00:27:35,120 --> 00:27:37,714
- Hello.
- Oh, hey, Officer Krupke.
658
00:27:37,756 --> 00:27:39,815
- Yeah.
- Hey, Jeff, it's Officer Krupke.
659
00:27:39,858 --> 00:27:42,349
- Oh, yeah, like from "West Side Story."
- From "West Side Story."
660
00:27:42,394 --> 00:27:44,794
We received a call about you
using obscenities
661
00:27:44,829 --> 00:27:46,456
against a woman
and her children.
662
00:27:46,498 --> 00:27:48,261
What? That's ridiculous.
663
00:27:48,299 --> 00:27:51,063
I sang the song I sang to you.
664
00:27:51,102 --> 00:27:53,229
I didn't say "fuck you."
I said "krup you."
665
00:27:53,271 --> 00:27:56,763
- That's not the way they heard it.
- I was singing a song.
666
00:27:59,244 --> 00:28:01,303
Where'd you get those pants?
667
00:28:01,346 --> 00:28:02,973
Banana Republic.
668
00:28:03,014 --> 00:28:04,982
There's a security tag
on those pants.
669
00:28:05,016 --> 00:28:08,144
I traded them because
they took my pants, so I took these.
670
00:28:08,186 --> 00:28:10,381
- Give me the pants.
- What are you talking about?
671
00:28:10,422 --> 00:28:12,185
- These are my pants.
- Now.
672
00:28:14,726 --> 00:28:17,160
- Okay, fine.
- You don't have to do this here.
673
00:28:17,195 --> 00:28:19,561
I don't care. Okay, here.
674
00:28:19,597 --> 00:28:22,498
Oh my God! Jesus Christ!
675
00:28:22,534 --> 00:28:24,661
Who are you?
676
00:28:24,703 --> 00:28:28,969
I'm Larry David. I happen to enjoy
wearing women's panties.
677
00:28:42,854 --> 00:28:45,345
You gotta tell Susie
I was in a car accident.
52173
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