All language subtitles for Curb.Your.Enthusiasm.S07E03.The.Reunion.DVDRip.XviD-REWARD

So Loretta was swearing
at you and yelling at you?

Yeah.

And she really thought
you were cheating on her?

Auntie Rae gave me...
she gave me the finger

- as she was driving away. Yeah.
- Did she really?

- Oh God.
- "Fuck you, Larry."

How's it feel living alone?

Well, I'm not alone.
I've still got Leon.

Umm, listen.

I know I brought it up
a million times,

but NBC is still harping me about

about doing a "Seinfeld" reunion.

Again? Don't they
give up, these people?

So what do you think?

You know, those reunion shows,
they're so lame, really.

They never work.
The actors are 10 years older.

It just doesn't look right.

You know, I don't think so.
Jerry would never want to do it, either.

All right, look.
I'm in agreement with you

but here's what I need, okay?

Come with me to NBC...
let me set up a meeting...

say no. That way
I can always say to them,

"He said no.
You heard it from him."

- Fine.
- Thank you. They'll leave me alone.

We move on to other things.
None of this crap.

- Hi, honey. How are you doing?
- Hi. Oh, the same.

- I'm sorry.
- Really not good. Hi, Lar.

- Hey. What's the matter?
- L... you know, I'm tired.

I'm achy...
my knees ache.

I feel weak.
I've been to two doctors...

everybody says I'm fine,
It's in my head...

which is bullshit. As you know,
I'm always happy and up.

You are a picture of happiness.

- She does have a very good disposition.
- She's bubbly.

- Wouldn't you say that? Bubbly.
- Yeah, I think so.

I've never been so tired.
It's just like...

Have you been in
any tall grass lately?

Well, you know,
on Fire Island I was in tall grass.

I was on the dunes,
in the grass when we were there.

Have you been tested
for Lyme disease?

You think it's
a tick bite or something?

It could be. I know somebody who
had something, it wasn't diagnosed

and then it turned out
to be Lyme disease.

What have you got to lose?
Take a blood test.

What are you, a fucking doctor?
How do you know these things?

I'm a hypochondriac,
so I'm aware of this stuff.

Oh my God.

- What is this?
- What are you doing?

I can't believe it.
This is the second time

I've run into you in,
what, three weeks.

- What are you doing here?
- I had an audition.

- Really?
- Yeah, I'm acting again.

- Wow. How'd you do?
- I did okay.

- Yeah.
- I don't think I got it. I don't know.

How do you know?
What are you doing here?

I have a meeting

with Jeff and NBC about
a "Seinfeld" reunion,

- but it's...
- Really?

Yeah, but I'm not...
I'm not gonna do it. I'm just going...

No, that's perfect.
People love reunion shows.

How much would people love
to see that cast back together?

See what they're doing now,
years later, and how they look?

- So you'd be running... running it.
- Yeah, I'd be writing it.

- Yeah, what I used to do. Yeah.
- Writing it and...

my God. You have to
write a part for me.

- Oh ho, you've got it.
- Okay. I'm not kidding.

- Yeah.
- I'm not kidding.

- You're not kidding. Okay, fine.
- No, I'm not.

- What else is going on?
- Oh, I'm just... I'm doing Pilates,

I'm learning Japanese
and I'm into the Lakers.

- I am finally appreciating...
- Now you're into basketball?

- After I leave?
- But I've got some girlfriends that are...

they are into it and we're going
on Thursday night,

- going to the game.
- Really? I was actually thinking

about going to that game.
I was gonna buy scalper's tickets.

- Oh.
- Maybe I'll run into you.

- I'm sure you will. Why wouldn't you?
- Why wouldn't I? Yeah.

- I should run.
- Okay.

- But it's good to see you.
- Good to see you.

- Really. Bye.
- Bye.

- What's she doing here?
- She's... she's acting again.

- She had an audition.
- Oh. Good for her.

- All right, let's get this bullshit over with.
- Okay.

Larry, I'm going to
ask you the same question

that every affiliate asks me

every day of my job...

is "When are we going to
get a 'Seinfeld' reunion?"

- Mm-hmm.
- Huh?

- Yeah. I don't know.
- Huh?

Well, the window is wide open
right now and it's kind of perfect.

- Well, listening to you...
- Mm-hmm.

...has me excited.
- Well, it's because I'm excited!

I think that...

what are you thinking?
Hour, half hour?

I am thinking
whatever you want to do.

What are you thinking?
Do you want to do an hour?

Do you want to do a half hour?
We don't care.

It's the finest commodity
NBC has put out...

I really like what
you did in that take.

Really? 'Cause I can try it
a different way if you want me to.

- I can...
- No, don't change a thing. It's perfect.

And as far
as the rest of you go,

I've got a couple of little things.

- Uh, Michael?
- Yeah.

I loved the entrance.
That slide? It's working.

Well, it's making me a bit dizzy,

but I'll do anything
for you, Larry.

Julia, the business
with the apple...

come on, how funny is that?

Hey, it was your idea
and it completely works.

The glasses?
You're killing me.

I can't do it as good as you,
but I'm gonna keep trying.

Yeah, and that new line...
the kumquat and the quail?

- You're amazing.
- Yeah, amazing.

- Amazing.
- Yeah, you're really unbelievable, Larry.

We are thinking to leave
the door open to the creative...

- I'll... I'll do it.
- What?

- I'll do it.
- You'll do it?!

- That is amazing.
- Really?

- That's fantastic.
- Wow.

- You're gonna do it?
- I'm gonna do it.

And I have a pretty good idea
for George too.

- He's already writing.
- In the 11 years since the show's

been off the air,
he's gotten married, divorced

and now he's gonna try
to get his wife back.

- Funny.
- Okay.

I know it's not a great idea,
but I can work on it.

- No, I think it's a great idea.
- I love this.

- What about Jerry?
- I'll talk to Jerry and I'll talk to the cast.

- Great. Great.
- Great.

- Awesome.
- We need to celebrate.

- We do, yes.
- You like basketball?

- Of course.
- Do I like basketball? Yeah, of course.

- He loves basketball.
- Do you want to go to a Laker's game?

We were gonna try
to go Thursday night.

- Yeah, we were gonna get scalper's tickets.
- No need. No need.

- We will hook you up. I will hook you up.
- No kidding?

- Wow.
- Don't you even worry about that.

You should've brought
this idea up a long time ago.

Thanks.

- This is exciting.
- Okay.

Gotta call Jerry.

- Oh!
- Maybe I'll do that in the car.

You know who you've got to call?

Cheryl, to tell her
that she's gonna be

in a "Seinfeld" reunion show.

I know what you're up to.
You're so full of it.

We're sitting up there,
you say, "I'll do it"

and I'm going
"Really? You'll do it?"

And literally, it hit me the second
we walked out of that meeting.

It's like "Oh! This is your plan

to get your ex-wife back."

Pretty fucking brilliant
if you ask me.

Well, I mean, think of it this way:

I'm gonna... I'll be with her
every day on the set,

directing her,
working with her.

- She'll see me in this whole new light.
- As a working man.

And already she started looking at me
differently when I told her

- I was going for the meeting.
- I know.

This is great.
And I'm a hero now with NBC.

So I'm all for it. I'm gonna back
you on this the whole way.

Pretty brilliant.

Good afternoon.

I've got this really good
idea for George.

He's gotten married, divorced

and now he's trying
to get his ex-wife back.

- I think that could be funny.
- Yeah, that's not bad.

But anyway,
there's no shortage of ideas.

But why would
we do something like this?

I mean, I remember
you talking about...

whenever a sitcom
does a reunion episode

you say, "Isn't it pathetic?"

- I said pathetic?
- Desperate, pathetic.

- Desperate?
- When we would watch shows...

other shows...
we'd see them do reunion shows,

you would look
and you'd make that face...

you know, that very
judgmental face of yours...

- I did?
...where you see people

who do not have
your aesthetic standards.

You criticize
and downgrade them for it.

That's your style.

- Criticizing and downgrading?
- Yes.

What's not quite clear to me

is how you seem to have shifted

your whole attitude
about these shows.

- I haven't shifted.
- No, you've shifted.

- No, there's no shift.
- There's a shift.

- No shift.
- I'm being sold something here

and I don't know why.
I get that funny feeling,

like when you're
in a car showroom

and the guy is just trying
to close that deal on the car.

It... it's just weird to me
that you suddenly like an idea

that you always always hated.

I don't know.
It'd just be fun to get together.

Get together?

You're not a get-together guy.

You don't like to get together.
You hate to get together.

We could have a dinner.
Why don't we just have a nice dinner?

I just think that
everybody wants it.

Why are we depriving
them of this? It's crazy.

I know, but it's like you're
going back to an old girlfriend

and saying
"Hey, maybe I can make it work now,

10 years later."

Does that ever work in any relationship
that you can think of?

Robert Wagner and Natalie Wood.
How about that?

They got divorced
and they got back together.

And then she slipped
off the boat and died.

- So how did that work out?
- It was an accident.

And Christopher Walken?
How do you explain that?

I don't know what
he was doing on the boat.

Just tell me...
why isn't it lame?

Why isn't... isn't it lame?

Because we'll do it
in a way that won't be lame.

- We will.
- Yeah. I can't argue with that.

- Let me talk to the others.
- All right.

If I get the others,
will you go along with it?

I guess I would, yeah.

- Really?
- I trust your instincts.

- I trust you.
- I'm telling you, it's gonna be funny.

And what about that story
you were talking about...

how George would have an ex-wife?

- Yeah.
- You know who'd be great

- for that is Meg Ryan.
- Are you kidding me?

- Yes, Meg Ryan.
- Meg Ryan?

- L...
- I saw her in this thing the other night.

She got up and talked,
she looks great.

- She's funny. She's great.
- I don't know. I think we'd rather go

with an unknown. You know what?
Casting will take care of itself.

- Yeah. It will.
- We'll, you know...

- It will. Let's do it.
- Fantastic.

- All right. Okay.
- All right.

- I'm gonna talk to the others.
- That sounds great.

Okay.

The big thing for George is
the ex-wife who left him...

- Yes.
...and he wants to get her back.

No one's gonna buy it.
The character is unlovable.

He is a... you know, he's a jerky,
schmucky little character.

All right?
He's just a buffoon.

He's so unappealing that to buy
that there was a marriage

- that's sustained at all...
- All right, first of all,

why is he unappealing?
People loved the character.

Because he's selfish,
he's stupid, he lies...

- Yeah, but people... he's not stupid.
...he's abrasive, he's inept.

- He's funny. Everything you
just said is funny.

- Yeah, it's funny.
- Okay, so maybe that's why...

It's funny 'cause everybody laughs at him,
'cause we all know schmucks like that.

But what I like about it...
here's the upside to it, really...

it could make up for the finale.
That's for sure.

What does that mean?
"Make up for the fin"...

there's nothing to make up for.

It really lets us end
"Seinfeld" on a good note.

It could be a "We know.
We know. We're sorry."

On that level I like it.

And, creatively, it makes me...
my juices are going.

- My juice is going.
- Wait. What...

what's going on
in this restaurant?

- Oh, the photos?
- Yeah.

Boy, those are distracting, huh?

- But anyway, what were you saying?
- And Julia...

everybody is down for this?

I mean, have you talked
to Julia about this?

- I was supposed to meet with her today...
- Yeah?

...but she said she had to drive
her daughter to a birthday party.

And she kinda blew me off,
so I don't know.

But I'm gonna meet with her tomorrow.
Jerry'll do it if you do it.

- And Michael... yes?
- I haven't spoken to him yet,

but I'm gonna meet
with everybody.

All right.
You know what? Let's do it.

You know what?
Let's do it. I'm excited.

- Great.
- This is gonna work.

- It's gonna be great.
- And you know what?

For George's ex-wife,
if we get one of these great actresses

that has the little bit
of the funny voice...

you know, like a Jennifer Tilly,
like a Kristin Chenoweth.

You don't need to concern yourself
so much with who's playing George's wife.

- It's not concern. I'm excited.
- Next thing I know,

you're gonna be...
what, you're gonna be writing with me.

- You need some ideas?
- No, we're good.

- 'Cause there were a few things...
- Yeah, all right.

...that I pitched over the years you didn't...
- Yeah, whatever.

- They weren't that great.
- And it's nice.

- We'll go out on a good note this time.
- We'll have a great time.

We went out...
we already went out on a...

Thank you.
Thank you very much.

- Ah yes, thank you.
- I hope everything was great.

- It was fantastic.
- We don't need to go out on a good note.

- We went out on a good note.
- And we'll do it again.

What are you going to leave?
Let's coordinate the tip here.

- Why?
- Well, when we split the check,

we both have
the exact same bill.

So why don't we leave the same thing
so one of us doesn't look like an idiot?

What, are we favored nations
all of a sudden for lunch?

No, but what is the big deal
if we both leave the same amount?

What do you want to leave?
What's your inclination?

- $12.
- $12?

- Yeah.
- Good. Put down $12.

- Write... write $12 down.
- How much are you gonna leave?

- Mm-hmm. Mmm. Mmm.
- What's your plan here?

I'm encouraging you to leave $12.

I think it's a number.
There's nothing to be ashamed of

in writing $12
under "Gratuity" on your check.

Are you gonna leave $12?

You want to know
what I'm leaving?

I'm gonna write down
what I'm leaving right now.

I'm writing a number.

Now I'm folding that number

and I'm putting it inside
my little leather check holder.

Waiter.
Thank you very much.

- No problem. Thank you.
- You've been wonderful. Thank you.

You're not gonna
tell me what you left? Is that it?

I am very excited
about our show.

You don't believe
in tip coordination, is that it?

Let's stay in touch about the girl.
It's very important.

I've got a couple of ideas.
I'll email you.

This is exciting, Larry.

And some funny ideas for Elaine.

- Oh, really? Like what?
- Yeah.

A little girl asks you
to give her doll a haircut.

- Mm-hmm.
- You give her the haircut,

she finds out it doesn't grow back
and she freaks out.

- Yeah, Elaine around a kid.
- Around the kid, the mother yelling at her.

- So that could be funny.
- Uh-huh, but I don't know.

I have to tell you, Larry,
I've never seen a reunion show

- that was not tacky.
- Yeah, l...

I mean, every time
you see one of these reunion shows,

it feels like they're doing it
for the wrong reasons.

- Really?
- Hey, is Jerry into it?

Completely into it.
He's chomping at the bit.

- Really?
- Is it chomping or champing?

I think it's chomp... champing?
What is champing?

I think it's spelled "champing"
but pronounced "chomping."

No, it's spelled "chomping"
and it's pronounced "chomping."

- Not so sure.
- I'm so sure.

- Really? Hmm.
- Yeah. Chomp.

Well, regardless, Jason... into it,

- wants to do it.
- Oh my God.

- L...
- Come on, let's do it.

Okay, well, maybe...
all right. All right.

- I'm into it.
- Fantastic.

I've got to go get this.
Be right back.

- Can I get you anything to drink?
- No thanks, I'm good.

- Are you sure? Okay.
- Yeah.

- Hey!
- Hey.

- How's it going?
- It's good.

How was the birthday party
the other day?

What birthday party?

You know, you went
to a birthday party with your mother.

No, I didn't go
to a birthday party.

- Really?
- Yeah, really.

That's not what your mother said.

I didn't go to a birthday party.

Huh.

Interesting.

I've got some really
good ideas for Kramer.

This one idea that
actually happened to me...

I picked up a hooker
so I could use the carpool lane

to get to Dodger Stadium
'cause I was late for a ballgame.

That happened to me.
I've spoken to Jason, he wants to do it.

Jerry will do it.
I just talked to Julia,

she's in.
What do you think?

Huh? Do you like that idea?

- Huh?
- Yeah. Mmm.

- Good idea, right?
- Oh, yeah.

I mean, am I crazy?
Tell me. What do you think?

- Hmm?
- Yeah.

- Am I crazy?
- Hmm?

Am I crazy?
Do you think I'm crazy?

I don't know.

Okay, I'm glad you said that.

I'm glad you think I'm crazy.
That means it's a good idea.

If you think it's a crazy idea,
then it's a good idea.

If you said,
"No, you're not crazy,"

then I'd think
it's not a good idea.

- You know what I'm talking about?
- Yeah.

- Huh? You get that, right?
- Definitely. Sure.

- So what do you think?
- Yeah. What?

- Let's do it.
- Do it?

Come on, let's do it.

- Let's do it.
- What time do you have?

2:12.

I'm sorry. I've got
to pick up Beth.

Oh, okay. I've got the check.
What are you doing?

- You can get this? Just a tea.
- Of course. Yeah, come on.

- You had a tea. Come on.
- Okay, all right.

- This is exciting. Are you excited?
- Yeah.

- Huh? It's exciting.
- Yeah yeah. It was good seeing you.

- It's exciting, right?
- I've gotta go. I'll see you later.

- Great to see you. I'm excited.
- All right.

- How are we doing over here, sir?
- Doing good.

- Good good.
- Doing good.

- Anything I can get you?
- No. I have a question I want to ask you.

- Okay.
- I was sitting here yesterday.

- Yeah.
- Would you mind telling me

how much tip the guy
I was with left you?

Oh. We don't do that.

- You don't do what?
- We don't share

- that information with customers.
- Huh, "share information"?

Honestly, who gives a crap?

I was in here.
I was with a guy.

I'm just curious.
What did he leave?

It was a healthy... healthy tip.

- Was mine a healthy tip?
- Yeah.

Was his healthier?

- L... l...
- Let me ask you this question:

- Was it over $12? Huh?
- Do you want me to refill your water or...

Just scratch your face
with your finger if it was over $12.

L... I could really get in trouble
with my manager.

Nobody even knows what
we're talking about.

Scratch your face
with your finger if it was over $12.

Go ahead, just scratch it.
Was it over $12?

- Oh, for God's sake. What an asshole.
- Is there anything else?

Let me ask you this question:
Was it over $15?

Just tug on your tie up here.
Was it over $15?

This is making me
real uncomfortable.

Nobody's even...
to anything we're talking about.

Was it over $15?
Tug on your tie.

- Oh my f... oh fuck!
- Sir?

Is that all I can get you?

No, don't go yet. One second.
I have one more question to ask you.

Did that son of a bitch
give you a $20 tip?

- What if it was more?
- How much did he give you?

- Huh? Was it over $30?
- Do you want the check?

Yeah, if it's over $30, I want you
to raise that cup over that pot.

- Okay, I hope you enjoyed your meal...
- Yeah, thank you.

...and come back soon.

- Larry: Hey!
- Hi, how are you?

Good.
Guess what.

- What?
- I've got some news. They're all in.

- Really?
- We're doing the reunion show.

- Fantastic, man!
- Is that unbelievable?

It's unbelievable.
Who'd have thunk? Now check this out.

Susie has Lyme disease.

- Who saved her life? Who saved her life?
- Can you... I saved her life.

- You saved her life.
- Dr. David.

- Dr. David. Paging Dr. David.
- You know, she went to...

- Calling Dr. David.
- How many doctors did she go to?

I mean,
that's kind of scary.

- I'll be right back.
- All right.

Cheryl!
Hey, Cheryl!

Hey.

Oh, I'll... I'll catch up
with you guys inside.

- Hi.
- Hey.

- This is crazy.
- Yeah.

- How are you? Good.
- Good. Good.

So remember
I was telling you

that I was gonna see them
about a "Seinfeld" reunion?

- Yeah.
- We're doing the show.

- You're kidding.
- No.

And you...

are gonna play
George's ex-wife.

- I am?
- Do you want to?

- Oh my God!
- Huh?

- Are you kidding me?
- I swear to God.

- Can you act? Huh?
- Yes.

- You can? Are you sure?
- I can. I am very good.

- You're not gonna embarrass me, are you?
- No.

- I mean, I've got to talk to Jerry.
- Thank you so...

- I'm sure he won't have a problem with it.
- Oh my God, Larry.

- Thank you so much.
- You're welcome.

I can't tell you
how much that means to me.

- Thank you.
- Wow.

Oh my God, you have no idea
what this means to me.

- Really?
- Okay, I'm gonna go.

- Yeah, I've just got to talk to Jerry.
- Thank you so much.

Oh my God!
Oh my God!

I'm telling you,
it was unbelievable.

You should've seen
the look on her face.

- I couldn't get over it.
- Here are your tickets, sir.

Thank you.

We'll go see
a fantastic game, huh?

- It's all working out.
- Yeah.

Where are these?

And the home team,
your Los Angeles...

319. Are you kidding me?

Look at this.
This has to be a mistake.

He couldn't have
given us seats up here.

- This is a joke. Just a joke.
- Oh my God.

Can you believe these seats
this guy gave us?

Look at this.
You've gotta be kidding.

- #5...
- Unbelievable.

This is crazy.
We could've stayed home

- and watched it on TV.
- I could have ridden the treadmill,

watched it on TV
and gotten the same effect.

Why? Why would he do this?
Why would he give...

- did he do it on purpose?
- I don't know.

Should we give him
the benefit of the doubt?

- Yeah, I guess.
- I'm not used to giving people

the benefit of the doubt. I don't even
know how to condition myself to do it.

I thought he had courtside seats.

Can l... can I borrow
your binoculars for a second?

- Yeah, sure.
- Sir, thank you very much.

Oh, he does have
courtside seats.

He's sitting in them...
he and David Spade.

- What?
- He's sitting next to David Spade.

I can't believe it.

I'm gonna call him.

Fucking asshole.

- Oh!
- What?

He screened my call.

- How do you know he screened your call?
- I saw him on the binoculars.

He screened the call. You know,
I always thought people were doing that

when I called them.
This just confirms it.

See, it taught me a lesson.

I was gonna give somebody
the benefit of the doubt...

I almost did...
and then something said "No, don't."

Don't. It's not for you."
That's not my thing.

That was a complete
and utter waste of time.

- Oh, what a waste of time.
- Why'd we even stay the whole time?

- I don't even know.
- Oh, Sandy Goodman.

Listen. Just don't go nuts.

All right? I know you want
to say something, but don't...

- I'll talk to you tomorrow.
- Okay.

- Hey.
- Hey, Larry. I'm glad you made it.

- Yeah.
- Did you enjoy the game?

Well...

You told the head of NBC
to go fuck himself?

Yeah, I did. The guy said
he's gonna fix me up with tickets.

He puts me up in the rafters,
the worst seats.

- So what?
- Then I caught him screening my call!

So you crap on the head of the network?
What are you doing?

He's apoplectic.
Apoplectic, Larry.

That kind of behavior is
completely unacceptable!

- Yeah.
- You want to know what else

is unacceptable?
It is totally

and completely unacceptable

that you would grill
my daughter Gracie

about whether I took her
to a birthday party.

And then you call me a liar?

Okay, first of all,
I didn't really grill her.

I just asked a question.

And I didn't call you a liar.

I just said it was... interesting.

What about this
would you find interesting, Larry?

Well, the fact that
you told me that you were

taking her to a birthday party

and she said she never went
to the birthday party.

So I thought that was interesting.

Do you also find it interesting that,

in fact, I have two daughters?

Grace and Mary.

I took Mary to the birthday party.

- That's interesting.
- What I find interesting...

in fact, fascinating...
is that you would

go back to a restaurant
where you and I had a meal

for the sheer purpose
of harassing a waiter

for the most insignificant incident,

I'm sure, that's ever happened
in this man's life.

We split a check and he doesn't
want to coordinate the tip!

- Why should I?
- Why should you?

Why do I need
to coordinate the tip?

You go out with a friend,
you tip in concert!

Why are we in concert?
There's no concert!

- Two different people, two different tips.
- We're not in concert!

- A tip is a solo, Larry.
- No, it's not!

- Thank you. Thank you. Solo.
- You tip in concert!

- A tip is a solo.
- What is the big secret?

He's got a big secret!
What is the big secret?!

You're digging into my personal...
you-you gotta know what my taxes are?!

- Wanna know what I paid for my house?!
- No, I just think

it's the right thing to do! That's all!

There's no right and wrong to it.

In fact, you're wrong and I'm right!

- That's not even the big issue here.
- There we go.

Because unless you apologize
to Sandy Goodman,

there's not even going
to be a reunion show.

What reunion show?

- Didn't you tell him?
- Yes, what are you talking about?

We discussed it
the other day at lunch.

- I don't remember you telling me that.
- What?

You told me point blank.
You discussed it. Everybody's...

- This is not cool.
- I did discuss it!

Look, a reunion show...

let's do it.
It's a great idea.

All right,
you've got all the principals,

but the project's in the toilet

because Larry David doesn't want
to sit in the loge.

I don't think that was the loge.
That was way up.

Larry, you have got
to speak with Sandy.

You have got to
clean up that mess.

You've got to apologize.

I never should've
left you alone with Goodman.

Jerry's right.
You've got to apologize.

Fine.

Oh, what, are you...
are you gonna go in begrudgingly

- or are you gonna go in sincere?
- Begrudgingly.

You can't give
a begrudging apology.

You've gotta give
a sincere apology.

I'll go somewhere between

begrudging and sincere.
How's that?

Somewhere between?
Where between?

- I'll straddle the line.
- What kind of line?

It's not completely sincere
and it's not completely begrudging.

I'll tell you where
the line is... the line is

you probably fuck up the apology.
That's the line.

If I fuck up the apology,
then I'll apologize for the bad apology.

You can't apologize
for an apology!

You get one shot, that's it.

Hey, what about Cheryl?

- Okay.
- There you go. All right.

I'm gonna hate myself
more than normally.

Hey, Jeff, did you see my cell phone?

Uh, no, I did not.

Hi, Lar. Oh, here it is.

All right, listen. I've gotta run.

Don't forget
to pick up Sammi, okay?

- I'm not gonna forget.
- All right.

- Hey.
- What?

No "Thank you, Larry,

for saving my life"?

Saving my life?
How'd you save my life?

- You didn't save my life.
- I diagnosed your illness.

All right. Well, it's treated,
and I'm feeling great.

- Give it up, man.
- Give what up?

What kind of person doesn't say thank you
to another person for saving their life?

- Oh, Larry, thank you so much.
- I'm glad you're feeling better.

You saved my life.
I'd be dead without you.

- You would be!
- Oh, bullshit!

You know what happens
to Lyme disease if it's left untreated?

- What?
- Everything goes... the kidneys, the joints,

- the lungs, the heart... everything!
- Well, then you should be

very glad I'm feeling better,
shouldn't you?!

If somebody saved my life,
I'd be fucking kissing...

You didn't save my life, asshole!

- You know what?
- What?

Next time I'm not gonna
say anything, okay?!

I'm gonna keep
my mouth shut and let you die!

You want me to die?
Get the hell out of here.

You've got a little spot
on your forehead.

- Get the hell out of here.
- Don't get it checked out.

- It's not skin cancer.
- Out out out out!

Don't check that out,
that little spot you got there.

I just wanted to apologize

if I offended you

or insulted you

in any way.

So this is me

apologizing.

It's about as sorry
as I can get.

I guess my question is:

Was it sorry enough?

That's it?

- No good?
- "No good"?

- Too begrudging?
- Very begrudging.

Can I apologize for the apology?

You know what?
I want to put the kibosh

on our relationship.

I can see where this road is going
and I don't like it,

so we're done.
The reunion show is off.

- Yeah.
- Good luck to you.

- I'll be fine.
- Good luck to your network,

- Thank you.
- I could not find your acid reflux pills,

so I got you Tums and echinacea.

- Thank you.
- I found the ginseng.

- Oh, what's the matter, you sick?
- I have a stiff neck.

I have aches. I have pains.

- I'm not well.
- Have you been in any tall grass recently?

In the Hamptons
over the weekend,

yes, with my kid. Why?

No reason.

Larry, you saved my life.

- Ah.
- Now go do what you do.

- Okay.
- Okay.

Hey, everybody,
let's get back to work.

- All right.
- All right.

Pick it up from Kramer's entrance.

- Yup.
- All right.

Larry, I want you back.

Let's go home and make love.

Ah.

- Hello. Hey.
- Hey. So guess what.

- What?
- Show's back on.

- Get out of here!
- Yeah!

- Unbelievable.
- I know!

- What did you do?
- I talked to Goodman

- and I straightened it out.
- And you apologized.

- No.
- Well, listen.

You'll never believe
what happened to me.

I'm driving along...
I'm in Beverly Hills...

you'll never guess
who I bump into.

- I give up.
- Meg Ryan.

- Who?
- Meg Ryan.

- Really?
- And I said, "You are absolutely

our dream cast

for George's ex-wife."

- And she's gonna do it!
- What?

- I'm gonna put her on. Hold on.
- Larry!

Isn't this great!
George's ex-wife!

I can't bel...
it's such a great idea.

Anyway, I just wanted
to say thanks. Here's Jerry.

Show's back on!
Meg Ryan's in!

We are gold!