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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,072 --> 00:00:06,372 2 00:00:16,080 --> 00:00:17,844 I've got some amazing news, mate. 3 00:00:17,920 --> 00:00:19,763 - Oh, aye? - Aye. 4 00:00:19,840 --> 00:00:22,730 - Right, go on, then. - No. Guess. 5 00:00:22,800 --> 00:00:24,643 Guess? 6 00:00:24,720 --> 00:00:26,290 I don't know. 7 00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:28,442 - Carol's pregnant? - Nah. 8 00:00:28,520 --> 00:00:32,047 - Just tell me. - Go on, guess, don't spoil it. 9 00:00:32,120 --> 00:00:35,602 - You won something? - Won what? 10 00:00:35,680 --> 00:00:37,011 - Money. - Nah. 11 00:00:37,080 --> 00:00:38,844 - A prize, then? - Nah. 12 00:00:38,920 --> 00:00:41,605 - But you have won something? - Nah. Nothing to do with winning. 13 00:00:41,680 --> 00:00:43,523 Just tell me. 14 00:00:43,600 --> 00:00:47,002 - Just guess. - Give me a clue, at least. 15 00:00:47,080 --> 00:00:49,845 All right. It's something... 16 00:00:49,920 --> 00:00:51,126 good. 17 00:00:51,200 --> 00:00:53,771 That's a clue? 18 00:00:53,840 --> 00:00:56,605 It's amazing news. It's something that's amazing news. 19 00:00:56,680 --> 00:00:59,604 That was the first thing you said when you came in. How is that a clue? 20 00:00:59,680 --> 00:01:01,808 Just guess, will you? Jealous bastard. 21 00:01:01,880 --> 00:01:04,770 I'm jealous? How can I be jealous? 22 00:01:04,840 --> 00:01:07,810 Because you're jealous of my amazin' news, so you won't guess. 23 00:01:07,880 --> 00:01:10,201 How can I be jealous of something you will nae tell me aboot? 24 00:01:10,280 --> 00:01:12,169 Just guess. 25 00:01:12,240 --> 00:01:13,890 - You guess! - You guess! 26 00:01:14,960 --> 00:01:18,521 - You got a joab. - Something good, I said. 27 00:01:18,600 --> 00:01:20,841 You found treasure. 28 00:01:20,920 --> 00:01:24,527 Treasure. Forget it. Forget it! 29 00:01:24,600 --> 00:01:27,604 - Don't you shout at me. - The hell with you. I'm off. 30 00:01:27,680 --> 00:01:30,411 - You had a nice cake. - Nah. 31 00:01:30,480 --> 00:01:32,130 - Somebody bought you a cat. - Nah. 32 00:01:32,200 --> 00:01:34,168 - Somebody bought you a horse. - Nah. 33 00:01:34,240 --> 00:01:36,129 - You got a modelling contract. - Nah. 34 00:01:36,200 --> 00:01:37,964 - Tell me! - Guess! 35 00:01:38,040 --> 00:01:40,884 - Tell me your amazing news! - Guess! 36 00:01:40,960 --> 00:01:43,122 I don't care what it is. 37 00:01:43,200 --> 00:01:46,761 It'll be nothing anyway, cos nothin' exciting ever happens to you. 38 00:01:46,840 --> 00:01:49,730 You're a bore! I hate you! 39 00:01:53,600 --> 00:01:54,965 I got a tattoo. 40 00:01:56,760 --> 00:01:58,603 That was the amazing news. 41 00:01:58,680 --> 00:02:01,251 I got a tattoo of you riding a unicorn. 42 00:02:20,280 --> 00:02:26,208 When Wee Frank walked into the room, we thought it was a joke. 43 00:02:26,280 --> 00:02:28,647 He had entirely the wrong image. 44 00:02:32,320 --> 00:02:34,687 All right? Ma name's Wee Frank. 45 00:02:34,760 --> 00:02:36,888 That's what the boys call me. 46 00:02:36,960 --> 00:02:40,442 - (BLEEP) just thought I'd... - Could you not swear, please? 47 00:02:40,520 --> 00:02:45,401 - Sorry. Sorry, (BLEEP)... - I just asked you not to swear. 48 00:02:45,480 --> 00:02:49,485 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It's just a whatchamacallit. 49 00:02:49,560 --> 00:02:51,767 - (BLEEP)... - Sorry. 50 00:02:51,840 --> 00:02:55,242 - Do you have Tourette's or something? - No, no, it's a Scottish thing. 51 00:02:55,320 --> 00:02:58,244 It's like a comma tae us, swearing. 52 00:02:58,320 --> 00:03:01,290 I'm sorry, right, I dinnae mean to (BLEEP)... 53 00:03:01,360 --> 00:03:04,921 But when Wee Frank started to sing, 54 00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:09,005 we knew something very special was happening. 55 00:03:09,080 --> 00:03:13,722 ? I've been really tryin', baby 56 00:03:13,800 --> 00:03:19,807 ? (BLEEP) tryin' to hold back this feeling for so long 57 00:03:19,880 --> 00:03:25,762 ? (BLEEP) now if you feel like I feel, baby 58 00:03:25,840 --> 00:03:27,126 ? (BLEEP) come on 59 00:03:27,200 --> 00:03:29,646 ? Ooh, come on 60 00:03:29,720 --> 00:03:33,167 ? (BLEEP) let's get it on... ? 61 00:03:33,240 --> 00:03:36,050 He has a unique talent. 62 00:03:36,120 --> 00:03:38,885 He does have this vocal tic, 63 00:03:38,960 --> 00:03:42,328 which I believe is just a natural development of where he grew up. 64 00:03:42,400 --> 00:03:46,883 But with the proper training, we were sure we could eradicate it 65 00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:50,885 and make him the success he deserves to be. 66 00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:54,048 Can you say this for me... 67 00:03:54,120 --> 00:03:58,523 the quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog. 68 00:03:58,600 --> 00:04:01,570 - The (BLEEP) quick... - No. Again. 69 00:04:01,640 --> 00:04:05,281 The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog. 70 00:04:05,360 --> 00:04:06,964 - (BLEEP)... - No. 71 00:04:07,040 --> 00:04:11,841 Again. The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog. 72 00:04:11,920 --> 00:04:14,810 The quick brown fox (BLEEP)... 73 00:04:14,880 --> 00:04:17,804 No. Again. 74 00:04:17,880 --> 00:04:21,123 - (BLEEP) the quick... - No. Again. 75 00:04:21,200 --> 00:04:23,771 - (BLEEP)... - No. The quick... 76 00:04:23,840 --> 00:04:26,525 - The quick... - ...brown fox... 77 00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:29,410 brown fox... - ...jumped over... 78 00:04:29,480 --> 00:04:32,768 jumped over... - ...the lazy dog. 79 00:04:32,840 --> 00:04:34,683 - ...The (BLEEP) lazy... - No! 80 00:04:34,760 --> 00:04:37,001 (BLEEP) no, (BLEEP) no! 81 00:04:41,920 --> 00:04:45,481 We knew we had to play to Wee Frank's strengths. 82 00:04:45,560 --> 00:04:49,326 And I know the single has been criticised in some quarters, 83 00:04:49,400 --> 00:04:51,607 but I think it's great. 84 00:05:04,720 --> 00:05:07,610 (BLEEP) check the state o' this 85 00:05:07,680 --> 00:05:09,444 (BLEEP) know what I mean? 86 00:05:09,520 --> 00:05:13,161 (BLEEP) I'm like that, (BLEEP) mental 87 00:05:13,240 --> 00:05:15,447 (BLEEP) Oh, what was it again? 88 00:05:15,520 --> 00:05:17,522 (BLEEP) hingmy 89 00:05:17,600 --> 00:05:19,648 (BLEEP) you know what I'm talking aboot. 90 00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:23,122 ? It's Friday night and I feel all right 91 00:05:23,200 --> 00:05:27,444 ? (BLEEP) it's Friday night and I feel (BLEEP) hingmy 92 00:05:27,520 --> 00:05:31,286 ? It's Friday night and I feel all right (BLEEP) 93 00:05:31,360 --> 00:05:35,001 ? Friday night and I feel (BLEEP) hingmy... ? 94 00:05:35,080 --> 00:05:36,241 Get tae (BLEEP)! 95 00:05:43,560 --> 00:05:47,360 Crutch hire! Get yer crutches! 96 00:05:47,440 --> 00:05:50,649 Don't go intae the broo wi'oot 'em. 97 00:05:50,720 --> 00:05:52,643 Couple of crutches, mate. 98 00:05:52,720 --> 00:05:54,006 Cheers, man. 99 00:05:55,880 --> 00:05:57,405 Crutch hire! 100 00:06:01,520 --> 00:06:03,887 'Ere, mate, that's a tenner for that. 101 00:06:09,600 --> 00:06:11,329 Crutch hire! 102 00:06:12,920 --> 00:06:15,764 Get yer crutches! 103 00:06:24,320 --> 00:06:27,722 - Did we have to sit in the front row? - What? 104 00:06:27,800 --> 00:06:30,565 It's too close. I mean, it's right there, in't it? 105 00:06:32,160 --> 00:06:33,685 Och, shush. 106 00:07:00,160 --> 00:07:02,401 What's this I see? 107 00:07:28,200 --> 00:07:30,601 I'm gonnae go to the toilet, all right? 108 00:08:38,960 --> 00:08:40,769 Is that you back, darlin'? 109 00:09:03,400 --> 00:09:04,686 He's away! 110 00:09:07,520 --> 00:09:09,921 Oh. 111 00:09:10,000 --> 00:09:13,368 I don't even like theatre, but that was...that was powerful. 112 00:09:13,440 --> 00:09:17,729 I mean, I was uncomfortable and that, but, oh, that was powerful stuff. 113 00:09:17,800 --> 00:09:19,564 I mean, I'm glad it's finished. 114 00:09:19,640 --> 00:09:23,326 Ladies and gentlemen, we will now be having a short interval. 115 00:09:23,400 --> 00:09:28,361 Be sure to stretch your legs - the second act is of an unprecedented length. 116 00:09:28,440 --> 00:09:30,408 Where's that voice coming frae? 117 00:09:30,480 --> 00:09:34,280 What's she talking aboot, second act? It'll no' be about me, will it? 118 00:09:34,360 --> 00:09:36,761 It'll be about wan...wan of yous. 119 00:09:36,840 --> 00:09:38,444 Out the way, out the way! 120 00:09:45,040 --> 00:09:46,166 Och. 121 00:10:03,280 --> 00:10:04,805 Oh, God! 122 00:10:07,360 --> 00:10:08,964 What's this I see? 123 00:10:19,640 --> 00:10:22,849 Oh, come on, mate. There's a whole row of machines here. 124 00:10:22,920 --> 00:10:25,048 Why have you got to pick the one right beside me? 125 00:10:26,640 --> 00:10:31,202 Cannae look to my left, cannae look aboot cannae have our eyes meetin' constantly 126 00:10:31,280 --> 00:10:35,001 Just gonnae have to stare straight ahead, act like I'm focused 127 00:10:35,080 --> 00:10:37,811 Go on one that faces the same way as us next time, dickhead 128 00:10:37,880 --> 00:10:42,886 What's with this arse piece, acting like he cannae see me when I'm right here? 129 00:10:42,960 --> 00:10:45,247 Hallo, arse piece. Hallo-o-o! 130 00:10:45,320 --> 00:10:46,924 He's lookin' at me. 131 00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:49,526 You cannae look at a guy you don't know when you're that close. 132 00:10:49,600 --> 00:10:54,288 - Arse piece. - He's fell into ma rhythm now, as well. 133 00:10:55,680 --> 00:10:59,241 Look at me, arse piece. I'm your worst nightmare. 134 00:10:59,320 --> 00:11:02,085 Ha-ha-ha-ha! Arse piece. 135 00:11:02,160 --> 00:11:05,607 I'm gonnae change speed so that I'm goin' forward as he's goin' back 136 00:11:06,760 --> 00:11:10,207 Oh, aye, you can out-race me? Let's go. Let's do it! 137 00:11:10,280 --> 00:11:12,203 Oh, he thinks I'm racin' him. 138 00:11:12,280 --> 00:11:14,886 Right fine, you go faster, then, mate. Race away 139 00:11:14,960 --> 00:11:18,646 Oh, conserving energy, is it? Hopin' I'm gonnae tire oot? 140 00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:22,088 You are not more of a man than me, arse piece. 141 00:11:22,160 --> 00:11:25,687 What's the score with this arse piece? You fancy me or something, mate? 142 00:11:25,760 --> 00:11:28,161 Will we touch tongues as we pass next time? 143 00:11:28,240 --> 00:11:30,004 Check the way he's lookin' at me. 144 00:11:30,080 --> 00:11:32,367 D'you fancy me or something, arse piece? 145 00:11:32,440 --> 00:11:35,205 I hope it's just you and me when I go into that changin' room, 146 00:11:35,280 --> 00:11:38,250 cos I'm gonnae smack ya one in the mooth, arse piece. 147 00:11:38,320 --> 00:11:41,210 I hope it's just you and me when I get to that changin' room, 148 00:11:41,280 --> 00:11:43,931 cos I'm gonnae smack you one in the mooth, arse piece. 149 00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:46,480 - Arse piece. - Arse piece. 150 00:11:46,560 --> 00:11:50,201 Arse piece. Arse piece. 151 00:11:50,280 --> 00:11:55,002 - Arse piece. - Arse piece. Arse piece. 152 00:11:57,000 --> 00:11:58,365 Thank you, thank you. 153 00:11:58,440 --> 00:12:03,321 Ah, time for a slow dance now, I think, ah... 154 00:12:03,400 --> 00:12:08,201 This is a song I wrote while I was waiting for ma dinner in the microwave. 155 00:12:08,280 --> 00:12:09,725 Yeah. 156 00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:24,006 ? Waitin' 157 00:12:24,080 --> 00:12:27,527 ? I'm waitin' for ma moment 158 00:12:27,600 --> 00:12:31,161 ? I'm waitin' 159 00:12:31,240 --> 00:12:34,926 ? I'm waitin' for ma... ? 160 00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:38,322 Beep, beep, beep! 161 00:12:40,840 --> 00:12:43,650 That's ma dinner ready. 162 00:12:57,960 --> 00:12:59,689 Right, that's enough of that. 163 00:13:11,360 --> 00:13:12,566 Excuse me! 164 00:13:12,640 --> 00:13:14,404 Oh! Oh! Ah! 165 00:13:14,480 --> 00:13:17,006 - Excuse me! - Oh! Oh! Ah! 166 00:13:17,080 --> 00:13:18,525 Excuse me! 167 00:13:18,600 --> 00:13:19,761 Oh! Oh! Ah! 168 00:13:19,840 --> 00:13:21,285 Excuse me! 169 00:13:21,360 --> 00:13:22,885 Oh! Oh! Ah! 170 00:13:22,960 --> 00:13:24,291 Excuse me! 171 00:13:24,360 --> 00:13:25,964 Oh! Oh! Ah! 172 00:13:26,040 --> 00:13:28,247 Excuse me! 173 00:13:28,320 --> 00:13:30,129 Excuse me! 174 00:13:30,200 --> 00:13:31,167 Oh! Oh! Ah! 175 00:13:31,240 --> 00:13:34,244 That's the last time. If you enjoy playing with them so much, 176 00:13:34,320 --> 00:13:37,688 maybe I'll send you doon there again, to live with the arseholes. 177 00:13:37,760 --> 00:13:39,842 Excuse me. 178 00:13:39,920 --> 00:13:41,251 Excuse me! 179 00:14:01,840 --> 00:14:05,287 If you've got something to say, Walter, just come right oot and say it. 180 00:14:05,360 --> 00:14:08,921 I want to know what you've got yourself all washed up for, anyway. 181 00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:10,650 I was filthy. 182 00:14:10,720 --> 00:14:14,441 Who have you got to be not be... not be not filthy for? 183 00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:16,568 It gets sticky on this van. 184 00:14:16,640 --> 00:14:18,529 Sometimes I don't like being sticky. 185 00:14:18,600 --> 00:14:23,401 - You don't like being sticky for who? - None of your business. 186 00:14:23,480 --> 00:14:26,643 You'd never get yourself all cleaned up for ma benefit, would you? 187 00:14:26,720 --> 00:14:29,610 That's right. You don't merit a wash. 188 00:14:35,480 --> 00:14:38,927 What if somethin' bad happened to me, like I just died, anyway? 189 00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:41,207 I bet you wish you'd have gotten clean for me then. 190 00:14:41,280 --> 00:14:44,602 Away you go and die, then. The whole world'll be a cleaner place. 191 00:14:47,200 --> 00:14:48,964 Can I have...? 192 00:14:49,040 --> 00:14:50,644 Sorry, Walter. 193 00:14:50,720 --> 00:14:52,563 I did nae mean that. 194 00:14:52,640 --> 00:14:55,689 - Walter... - I'm never gonnae die, anyway. 195 00:14:55,760 --> 00:14:58,331 Who is it you're getting all clean for? Who? 196 00:14:58,400 --> 00:15:00,846 - Who? - I'm goin' on a date. 197 00:15:06,640 --> 00:15:09,246 - What can I get fer ya? - Can I...? 198 00:15:09,320 --> 00:15:13,006 But it's board game night. It's our one night together, anyway. 199 00:15:13,080 --> 00:15:15,845 Every night is our one bloody night together, Walter. 200 00:15:15,920 --> 00:15:19,561 Who is it you love mair than your brother? Who is it? 201 00:15:19,640 --> 00:15:22,371 It's a date. I don't love her. 202 00:15:22,440 --> 00:15:27,401 Her? Agh! You don't even like lassies, anyway. 203 00:15:27,480 --> 00:15:31,246 I dae like lassies, Walter, and you'll go to the bad fire for saying that I don't. 204 00:15:31,320 --> 00:15:33,368 You talk like a lassie, anyway. 205 00:15:33,440 --> 00:15:36,410 You talk like a shite wi' a deid bird's beak stuck in it! 206 00:15:40,680 --> 00:15:44,162 - What can I get...for you? - Can I have...? 207 00:15:44,240 --> 00:15:46,971 I am not...a jobby wi' a beak. I'm not. 208 00:15:47,040 --> 00:15:49,247 I'm sorry, Walter, I did nae mean that. 209 00:15:49,320 --> 00:15:51,482 You just make me so mad sometimes. 210 00:15:51,560 --> 00:15:53,085 Gimme that! 211 00:16:01,960 --> 00:16:03,325 I'm gonnae take ma wee man 212 00:16:03,400 --> 00:16:05,607 and I'm gonnae rub it on all your suit sleeves 213 00:16:05,680 --> 00:16:07,250 and I'm gonnae rub it your pocket. 214 00:16:07,320 --> 00:16:09,846 Then you'll have nothing tae wear. How does that sound, anyway? 215 00:16:09,920 --> 00:16:11,524 Any chance o' getting served? 216 00:16:11,600 --> 00:16:15,286 Any chance o' you shuttin' your smelly, ugly face, anyway? 217 00:16:18,600 --> 00:16:20,728 I took the lid off o' Mammy, 218 00:16:20,800 --> 00:16:24,282 and she heard every cheeky word you said. 219 00:16:26,560 --> 00:16:28,324 I'm sorry, Mammy. 220 00:16:28,400 --> 00:16:29,890 Paul was annoying me. 221 00:16:32,560 --> 00:16:37,407 She said I've tae skelp your bare bum for you six times. 222 00:16:38,640 --> 00:16:39,801 Oh, no! 223 00:16:43,560 --> 00:16:46,291 That's one to skelp yer bum, anyway. 224 00:16:47,920 --> 00:16:50,082 That's two skelp yer bum, anyway. 225 00:16:54,080 --> 00:16:56,208 Ah! No! 226 00:16:57,760 --> 00:16:59,205 I'm drivin' away, Walter, 227 00:16:59,280 --> 00:17:02,363 and I'm going oot to have a good time wi' that lassie, withoot you! 228 00:17:05,320 --> 00:17:07,129 Oh, oh. 229 00:17:07,200 --> 00:17:08,406 Oh! 230 00:17:08,480 --> 00:17:10,721 Don't you dare. 231 00:17:10,800 --> 00:17:14,600 Naebody ever phones you, Paul. It must be your date. 232 00:17:14,680 --> 00:17:18,162 Hello? No, I can't come and pick you up tonight, anyway, 233 00:17:18,240 --> 00:17:23,485 no, cos I don't even like lassies anyway and I particularly hate you! 234 00:17:33,280 --> 00:17:34,930 Can...I...? 235 00:19:33,080 --> 00:19:34,411 Come in! 236 00:19:40,240 --> 00:19:42,129 What've you got for me, son? 237 00:19:42,200 --> 00:19:45,124 I want to talk to you about the Burnistoun Butcher. 238 00:19:45,200 --> 00:19:49,410 Why, what's he been up tae? Has he been importin' black market beef? 239 00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:53,201 Naw, naw. The person you named the Burnistoun Butcher. 240 00:19:53,280 --> 00:19:54,247 Oh. 241 00:19:54,320 --> 00:19:56,687 Is that the guy that won the Pie of the Year award? 242 00:19:56,760 --> 00:19:58,250 Naw, that... 243 00:19:58,320 --> 00:20:01,563 That's Richie Stroke, Burnistoun butcher. 244 00:20:01,640 --> 00:20:06,487 The Burnistoun Butcher is the guy that's killed four people and never been caught. 245 00:20:06,560 --> 00:20:08,562 The murderer! 246 00:20:08,640 --> 00:20:10,085 Aye. 247 00:20:10,160 --> 00:20:11,605 What aboot 'im? 248 00:20:11,680 --> 00:20:14,126 I think you should come up wi' a different name for him. 249 00:20:14,200 --> 00:20:15,565 Why? 250 00:20:15,640 --> 00:20:20,441 I just think there's a lot of confusion over what Burnistoun butcher sells meat 251 00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:23,126 and what's the wan that kills people. 252 00:20:24,440 --> 00:20:26,966 That's what I'd expect frae the Burnistoun Herald The best. 253 00:20:27,040 --> 00:20:31,841 I love it! Aye. Right, let me have a think, then, let me have a think. 254 00:20:31,920 --> 00:20:33,604 Mmm. 255 00:20:33,680 --> 00:20:35,762 What does he look like, this fella? 256 00:20:36,920 --> 00:20:41,403 Naebody knows. But imagine he looks like me. 257 00:20:43,960 --> 00:20:45,849 The Burnistoun Tramp. 258 00:20:45,920 --> 00:20:47,445 Naw, not that... 259 00:20:47,520 --> 00:20:50,410 That disnae relate to him being a murderer. 260 00:20:50,480 --> 00:20:53,051 The Burnistoun Angry Tramp. 261 00:20:53,120 --> 00:20:55,487 Naw, naw! Look... 262 00:20:55,560 --> 00:20:59,690 Mebbe something to dae wi' his demeanour, right? Imagine I'm him. 263 00:21:01,800 --> 00:21:05,521 - The Burnistoun Queen? - Naw, naw. Look, look... 264 00:21:07,480 --> 00:21:10,723 - The Constipated Killer. - Naw! 265 00:21:10,800 --> 00:21:13,246 Mebbe something to dae wi' the murders. 266 00:21:13,320 --> 00:21:16,085 All the murders happened on a Wednesday. 267 00:21:16,160 --> 00:21:21,041 The Wednesday W...W... 268 00:21:21,120 --> 00:21:23,805 - Walloper. - Walloper? 269 00:21:23,880 --> 00:21:26,008 He wallops people. Wallop, you're deid. 270 00:21:26,080 --> 00:21:28,208 He is not a walloper. 271 00:21:28,280 --> 00:21:31,363 Hold on, I'll get Julie in here. She's a good ideas man. 272 00:21:31,440 --> 00:21:34,649 Julie, could you step into the office, please? 273 00:21:37,320 --> 00:21:42,167 Julie, we're trying to think o' a new name for the Burnistoun Butcher. 274 00:21:42,240 --> 00:21:43,969 Er, the Burnistoun Pie Man? 275 00:21:44,040 --> 00:21:45,804 The murderer. 276 00:21:45,880 --> 00:21:48,724 - The murderer, Julie. - Try this. 277 00:21:48,800 --> 00:21:55,206 All his victims were found stuffed into the bottom o' wheelie bins. 278 00:21:56,800 --> 00:21:58,768 The Burnistoun Bottomstuffer. 279 00:21:58,840 --> 00:22:04,722 - I love it. Print it! - Naw, naw, I am not a bottomstuffer. 280 00:22:04,800 --> 00:22:07,724 Just leave it. Just forget it. 281 00:22:07,800 --> 00:22:09,564 What you so bothered aboot it for anyway? 282 00:22:10,640 --> 00:22:15,521 Because I am the Burnistoun Butcher. 283 00:22:17,120 --> 00:22:19,930 Oh, right. 284 00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:23,925 Well, just you leave it wi' us. We'll sort oot the confusion. 285 00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:26,241 Thank you. 286 00:22:26,320 --> 00:22:29,085 Don't want tae put off your customers, know what I mean? 287 00:22:35,920 --> 00:22:40,050 - All right, man? Grub's up. - I'm starvin', man. 288 00:22:40,120 --> 00:22:42,088 Breast o' chicken curry, man, that's yours. 289 00:22:42,160 --> 00:22:45,209 - There's a rice, a ribs an' all, man. - Yas! 290 00:22:45,280 --> 00:22:48,648 - These noodles yours an' all? - That's mine, aye. 291 00:22:48,720 --> 00:22:53,282 - Prawn toast, man. Yours. - Yas! 292 00:22:53,360 --> 00:22:55,727 Spring rolls - yours. Another bag o' them - yours, man. 293 00:22:55,800 --> 00:22:57,962 - Lovely grub. - Portion o' chippos. 294 00:22:58,040 --> 00:23:00,281 - Cheers. - Char siu chow mein. 295 00:23:00,360 --> 00:23:01,521 That's mine, aye. 296 00:23:01,600 --> 00:23:04,729 And a banana fritter. If I was you, mate, I'd eat that the noo. 297 00:23:04,800 --> 00:23:06,450 There's nothin' worse than a cold banana fritter. 298 00:23:06,520 --> 00:23:07,726 Aye, true. 299 00:23:07,800 --> 00:23:13,011 - Erm...I think that's it, mate. - Aye, that's all my starters. 300 00:23:13,080 --> 00:23:15,526 - Main course noo. - Right, chicken satay, man. 301 00:23:15,600 --> 00:23:19,082 - That's mine, aye. - Fried rice, three portions, man. 302 00:23:19,160 --> 00:23:21,925 - Ta. - Chicken in black bean sauce. 303 00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:23,161 That's mine. 304 00:23:23,240 --> 00:23:24,571 Chicken in black bean sauce with green peppers. 305 00:23:24,640 --> 00:23:25,801 Ta. 306 00:23:25,880 --> 00:23:27,848 Chicken in black bean sauce with red peppers, man. 307 00:23:27,920 --> 00:23:29,046 Brilliant, cheers. 308 00:23:29,120 --> 00:23:31,407 Chicken in black bean sauce wi' nae peppers. 309 00:23:31,480 --> 00:23:33,403 Smells brilliant, ta. 310 00:23:33,480 --> 00:23:35,721 Chicken in black bean sauce wi' nae black bean sauce and green peppers. 311 00:23:35,800 --> 00:23:38,485 - Bring it on, man. Brilliant. - Chilli salt and spicy chicken. 312 00:23:38,560 --> 00:23:41,643 - Me, mate. - Chilli salt and spicy beef. 313 00:23:41,720 --> 00:23:44,451 - Me, man. - Chilli salt and spicy prawn, man. 314 00:23:44,520 --> 00:23:46,090 That's me an' all. Magic. 315 00:23:46,160 --> 00:23:49,084 - Chilli salt and spicy chips. - You need tae try these, mate. 316 00:23:49,160 --> 00:23:52,289 - Chilli salt and spicy cheese? - Yas! 317 00:23:52,360 --> 00:23:53,725 Chilli salt and spicy chicken 318 00:23:53,800 --> 00:23:56,041 with nae chillies, nae salt and mild instead o' spicy? 319 00:23:56,120 --> 00:23:57,360 That's mine, aye. 320 00:23:57,440 --> 00:23:59,044 - And a pineapple fritter? - That's mine. 321 00:23:59,120 --> 00:24:01,122 If I was you, mate, I'd eat that the noo. 322 00:24:01,200 --> 00:24:02,565 There's nothin' worse than a cold pineapple fritter. 323 00:24:02,640 --> 00:24:03,801 Tell me aboot it, man. 324 00:24:03,880 --> 00:24:05,086 Grilled chicken, Peking-style? 325 00:24:05,160 --> 00:24:06,810 Brilliant, cheers. 326 00:24:06,880 --> 00:24:09,486 - Toast chicken with gravy. - Cheers, man. 327 00:24:09,560 --> 00:24:12,131 - Beef. - Beef what? 328 00:24:12,200 --> 00:24:14,407 - Just beef. - That's me, mate. 329 00:24:14,480 --> 00:24:17,450 - Fried onions, boiled instead o' fried. - Me, mate. 330 00:24:17,520 --> 00:24:20,126 Hot and sour soup, cold and sweet instead o' hot and sour? 331 00:24:20,200 --> 00:24:21,247 That's mine. 332 00:24:21,320 --> 00:24:24,881 Crispy shredded beef in sweet and sticky sauce, soft instead o' crispy, 333 00:24:24,960 --> 00:24:27,770 whole instead o' shredded, spicy instead o' sweet and dry instead o' sticky? 334 00:24:27,840 --> 00:24:29,444 Disnae sound right. 335 00:24:29,520 --> 00:24:33,525 - Oh, and prawn instead o' beef, man. - That's mine an' all. 336 00:24:33,600 --> 00:24:35,648 A bottle o' lemonade. 337 00:24:35,720 --> 00:24:38,963 Lemonade? I asked for limeade. 338 00:24:39,040 --> 00:24:40,565 Och, that mob are a joke, man. 339 00:24:40,640 --> 00:24:42,608 Phone them. Phone them the noo! 340 00:24:51,120 --> 00:24:55,728 As a director of a soap opera, you have a responsibility, 341 00:24:55,800 --> 00:24:58,883 I feel, to reflect the reality of people's lives. 342 00:24:58,960 --> 00:25:02,965 So when a friend of mine said to me, "If soap operas are so realistic, 343 00:25:03,040 --> 00:25:05,407 "how come no-one ever goes to the toilet?" 344 00:25:05,480 --> 00:25:09,485 I saw that as a direct challenge to our entire industry. 345 00:25:19,480 --> 00:25:21,084 Do you want to get to know me? 346 00:25:21,160 --> 00:25:22,730 Dae ya? 347 00:25:22,800 --> 00:25:24,962 Aye, Thomas. 348 00:25:25,040 --> 00:25:26,804 I love you. 349 00:25:26,880 --> 00:25:28,882 Before you say that, 350 00:25:28,960 --> 00:25:31,645 there's wan thing you should know aboot me. 351 00:25:31,720 --> 00:25:34,610 Somethin' I thought I would take tae ma grave. 352 00:25:34,680 --> 00:25:36,125 What is it? 353 00:25:39,800 --> 00:25:41,529 Hold on, I need to go to the toilet. 354 00:26:02,560 --> 00:26:05,803 Thomas, what were you gonnae tell me? 355 00:26:05,880 --> 00:26:08,087 I'm trying to dae the toilet! 356 00:26:08,160 --> 00:26:11,050 Well, hurry up, I need as well. 357 00:26:11,120 --> 00:26:14,363 You'll just need to wait! 358 00:26:14,440 --> 00:26:16,568 A guy cannae have a shite in peace. 359 00:26:23,400 --> 00:26:27,564 Well, do your worst, Mr Mulgrew. 360 00:26:27,640 --> 00:26:31,690 Oh, I'll dae better than ma worst. 361 00:26:31,760 --> 00:26:33,922 I'll dae ma second worst. 362 00:26:41,440 --> 00:26:43,886 I need the toilet. 363 00:26:47,320 --> 00:26:49,527 I can... 364 00:26:49,600 --> 00:26:51,284 I can feel it, hen. 365 00:26:53,920 --> 00:26:55,524 It's comin'. 366 00:26:56,840 --> 00:26:59,002 This is ma last shite. 367 00:26:59,080 --> 00:27:01,845 Don't say that, Da. 368 00:27:01,920 --> 00:27:04,730 Aye. Gimme ma bedpan up. 369 00:27:04,800 --> 00:27:07,565 I'm ready to curl one oot and be at peace. 370 00:27:07,640 --> 00:27:09,085 Oh! 371 00:27:12,720 --> 00:27:13,926 Oh. 372 00:27:24,560 --> 00:27:28,121 Yous all better get in here. Ma da's daein' his last shite. 373 00:27:28,200 --> 00:27:30,965 - I'll need to go to the toilet first. - I'll need to go an' all. 374 00:27:36,920 --> 00:27:40,288 Ah, Da! 375 00:28:06,880 --> 00:28:08,370 You cannae put that body in yer green bin, mate. 376 00:28:08,440 --> 00:28:10,522 Stuff like that's gotta go in yer brown bin. 377 00:28:10,600 --> 00:28:12,568 You know, wi' the grass and the plants and that? 378 00:28:12,640 --> 00:28:15,450 If you want that emptied, you'll need to get that body oot o' there. 379 00:28:16,920 --> 00:28:18,604 'Sake! 380 00:28:18,680 --> 00:28:21,286 Too many bloody bins. 381 00:28:21,360 --> 00:28:24,330 Just daein' ma job, mate. Just daein' ma job. 382 00:28:24,355 --> 00:28:29,655 383 00:28:29,705 --> 00:28:34,255 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 29416

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