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1
00:00:01,479 --> 00:00:03,655
[ Electricity crackling,
dog barking in distance ]
2
00:00:03,699 --> 00:00:06,049
[ Dramatic music plays ]
3
00:00:06,093 --> 00:00:08,660
Pleasure doing business
with you.
4
00:00:08,704 --> 00:00:11,141
[ Cat yowls ]
Oh, nice cat.
5
00:00:11,185 --> 00:00:13,187
She is not my cat.
Oh!
6
00:00:13,230 --> 00:00:15,406
Birdgirl: She's mine,
and she's a boy.
7
00:00:15,450 --> 00:00:16,755
[ Gun cocks ]
Who are you?
8
00:00:16,799 --> 00:00:18,844
I'm Birdgirl.
9
00:00:18,888 --> 00:00:20,759
[ Ringtone plays ]
Ugh.
10
00:00:20,803 --> 00:00:22,085
[ Cellphone beeps,
ringtone stops ]
11
00:00:22,109 --> 00:00:23,501
Sort of in the middle
of something.
12
00:00:23,545 --> 00:00:24,937
[ Chuckles] Is it more important
13
00:00:24,981 --> 00:00:26,219
than the all-staff
you're not at?
14
00:00:26,243 --> 00:00:27,679
Say hi to Judy, everyone.
15
00:00:27,723 --> 00:00:29,072
All: Hi, Judy.
16
00:00:29,116 --> 00:00:30,682
Give me 10 minutes.
I got to bolt,
17
00:00:30,726 --> 00:00:32,728
so I'll take the flash drive
and the money,
18
00:00:32,771 --> 00:00:35,165
and in exchange,
I promise not to hurt you.
19
00:00:35,209 --> 00:00:36,514
[ Laughter ]
20
00:00:36,558 --> 00:00:38,342
[ Grunts ][ Gadget gun cocks ]
21
00:00:38,386 --> 00:00:41,693
Oops, forgot about me.[ Gun cocks ]
22
00:00:41,737 --> 00:00:43,173
She didn't.
23
00:00:43,217 --> 00:00:45,393
[ Sir Peter Pants meows ]
I'm joking!
24
00:00:45,436 --> 00:00:46,805
[ Sir Peter Pants shrieks ][ Screams ]
25
00:00:46,829 --> 00:00:48,613
[ Electricity crackling ]
26
00:00:48,657 --> 00:00:50,180
[ Grunts ] Birdgirl!
27
00:00:50,224 --> 00:00:52,443
[ Glass shatters ]
Get her off me!
28
00:00:52,487 --> 00:00:54,639
Birdgirl: ♪ Oh, my God,
oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God ♪
29
00:00:54,663 --> 00:00:56,249
[ Rapping ] ♪ Who is the girl
that saves the world? ♪
30
00:00:56,273 --> 00:00:57,970
♪ Hey! Hey!
31
00:00:58,014 --> 00:01:00,625
[ Imitates fanfare ]
Birdgirl!
32
00:01:00,669 --> 00:01:03,063
Meredith: Which is why
a lot of people have told me
33
00:01:03,106 --> 00:01:04,934
I should be a slam poet.
34
00:01:04,977 --> 00:01:06,718
[ Man laughs ]
35
00:01:06,762 --> 00:01:08,894
[ Clattering ]
36
00:01:08,938 --> 00:01:10,635
Birdgirl!
37
00:01:10,679 --> 00:01:12,898
[ Elevator door dings ]
38
00:01:12,942 --> 00:01:15,118
[ Elevator bell dings ]
39
00:01:15,162 --> 00:01:17,555
Sorry I'm late, everyone.
Speaking of which,
40
00:01:17,599 --> 00:01:20,428
I know it feels like
time has passed us by here
41
00:01:20,471 --> 00:01:22,430
at Sebben & Sebben,
but it hasn't.
42
00:01:22,473 --> 00:01:26,086
We've just been waiting for
our time to launch our company
43
00:01:26,129 --> 00:01:29,959
into the future
with the Internet!
44
00:01:30,002 --> 00:01:31,439
All: [ Murmuring ]
45
00:01:31,482 --> 00:01:33,615
How's this affect
the sandwich board teams?
46
00:01:33,658 --> 00:01:36,139
Let's meet in my office
to discuss.
47
00:01:36,183 --> 00:01:40,012
To show the world we're ethical,
progressive,
48
00:01:40,056 --> 00:01:41,753
that we're turning things
around.
49
00:01:41,797 --> 00:01:46,236
[ Buffer whirring ]
And our first... uh...
50
00:01:46,280 --> 00:01:53,765
♪
51
00:01:53,809 --> 00:01:57,639
I'd like to announce that...
52
00:01:57,682 --> 00:02:01,164
we're redesigning
the Topple Popple can.
53
00:02:01,208 --> 00:02:03,949
I mean, look at it.
It's as wide as it is tall.
54
00:02:03,993 --> 00:02:05,647
It's not a can. It's a...
55
00:02:05,690 --> 00:02:07,866
Oh, my God, you're right.
It is.
56
00:02:07,910 --> 00:02:12,132
Let's all applaud Judy
for making bold suggestions!
57
00:02:12,175 --> 00:02:14,003
You're here to announce
that e-mail thing.
58
00:02:14,046 --> 00:02:16,788
Oh, right. Our first step
in modernizing the company,
59
00:02:16,832 --> 00:02:18,355
I give you...[ Mouse clicks ]
60
00:02:18,399 --> 00:02:21,793
It's mail time!
61
00:02:21,837 --> 00:02:23,143
♪ Ah-ba-dum-bum-bum
62
00:02:23,186 --> 00:02:25,057
Ugh. You can turn
that off, right?
63
00:02:25,101 --> 00:02:27,059
- Mm.
- You can turn that off.
64
00:02:27,103 --> 00:02:28,452
Man: Yeah![ Laughter ]
65
00:02:28,496 --> 00:02:32,282
[ Computer chimes ] It's mail time!
66
00:02:32,326 --> 00:02:35,198
[ Gasps ] My first e-mail.
♪ Ah-ba-dum-bum-bum
67
00:02:35,242 --> 00:02:37,287
[ Mouse clicks,
up-tempo music plays ]
68
00:02:37,331 --> 00:02:40,072
Whoops! You got phished.
69
00:02:40,116 --> 00:02:41,813
Now proceed with
this three-minute
70
00:02:41,857 --> 00:02:43,859
Internet security
training video.
71
00:02:46,078 --> 00:02:48,820
Now that we have a website, we
need to choose a photo of you.
72
00:02:48,864 --> 00:02:50,300
That's right.
People will say,
73
00:02:50,344 --> 00:02:52,041
"I wonder who leads
this company."
74
00:02:52,084 --> 00:02:53,477
And they'll click
"leadership"...
75
00:02:53,521 --> 00:02:54,913
Expecting to see a man.
76
00:02:54,957 --> 00:02:56,219
But they won't see a man.
77
00:02:56,263 --> 00:02:58,395
They'll see "hands clasped,
78
00:02:58,439 --> 00:03:01,659
slightly off desk, strong,
powerful" CEO
79
00:03:01,703 --> 00:03:05,010
or "hands resting on desk" CEO.
80
00:03:05,054 --> 00:03:06,403
They're just like us.
81
00:03:06,447 --> 00:03:08,666
Are those the only choices?
I look gross.
82
00:03:08,710 --> 00:03:10,190
"Hands off desk." [ Button clicks ]
83
00:03:10,233 --> 00:03:12,670
It says, "Yes, a woman
runs this company,
84
00:03:12,714 --> 00:03:14,063
but there's no reason to panic.
85
00:03:14,106 --> 00:03:15,412
She's got this."Hands clasped.
86
00:03:15,456 --> 00:03:17,022
[ Button clicks ]
She's aware
87
00:03:17,066 --> 00:03:19,087
how everyone expects her
to fail, wants her to fail.
88
00:03:19,111 --> 00:03:21,201
But guess what?
She's not gonna fail.
89
00:03:21,244 --> 00:03:23,048
Because she can't and
will communicate all that.
90
00:03:23,072 --> 00:03:24,769
- In a picture.
- Guys,
91
00:03:24,813 --> 00:03:27,032
I really want to change
the Topple Popple can.
92
00:03:27,076 --> 00:03:29,078
You're the CEO.
Do it. Really?
93
00:03:29,121 --> 00:03:31,559
Well, after you
-run it past the board. -Oh.
94
00:03:31,602 --> 00:03:32,908
[ Electricity crackling ]
95
00:03:32,951 --> 00:03:34,388
Ow!
96
00:03:34,431 --> 00:03:35,911
[ Panting ]
97
00:03:35,954 --> 00:03:37,260
[ Button clicking rapidly ]
98
00:03:37,304 --> 00:03:38,914
Come on, come on!
99
00:03:38,957 --> 00:03:40,220
[ Elevator door dings ]
100
00:03:40,263 --> 00:03:42,352
[ Breathing heavily ]
101
00:03:42,396 --> 00:03:44,136
[ Sighs ]
102
00:03:44,180 --> 00:03:46,791
Aah!
103
00:03:46,835 --> 00:03:48,619
[ Screams ]
104
00:03:48,663 --> 00:03:51,535
Oh, Father of Light,
it's just a dream.
105
00:03:51,579 --> 00:03:53,276
[ Screaming ]
106
00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:54,930
Ow!
107
00:03:54,973 --> 00:03:56,366
[ Panting ]
108
00:03:56,410 --> 00:03:58,063
[ Button clicking rapidly ]
109
00:03:58,107 --> 00:04:00,109
Come on, come on!
110
00:04:00,152 --> 00:04:01,371
[ Elevator door dings ]
111
00:04:01,415 --> 00:04:02,894
[ Screams ]
112
00:04:02,938 --> 00:04:05,288
Oh, Father of Light,
it's just a dream.
113
00:04:05,332 --> 00:04:07,812
But something still feels off.
114
00:04:07,856 --> 00:04:11,163
[ Gasps ] It's back!
115
00:04:11,207 --> 00:04:13,470
So, turning our focus to Asia...
116
00:04:13,514 --> 00:04:16,386
Cut the [bleep] Judy.
What aren't you telling us?
117
00:04:16,430 --> 00:04:18,736
Everything...
I'm telling you.
118
00:04:18,780 --> 00:04:21,652
When you lie,
your forehead swells.
119
00:04:21,696 --> 00:04:23,828
That's why I always
taught you at canasta.
120
00:04:23,872 --> 00:04:26,309
Oh, my God.
I look like an empanada.
121
00:04:26,353 --> 00:04:28,006
What's that in the folder?
122
00:04:28,050 --> 00:04:29,747
What, this?
123
00:04:29,791 --> 00:04:32,402
Board members:
[ Gasping, groaning ]
124
00:04:32,446 --> 00:04:34,796
This is [bleep]!
125
00:04:34,839 --> 00:04:38,582
Your dad designed that can
on a cocktail napkin.
126
00:04:38,626 --> 00:04:41,846
People travel thousands of miles
to have sex with their sig-o's
127
00:04:41,890 --> 00:04:43,935
next to that statue downstairs.
128
00:04:43,979 --> 00:04:45,807
Look, I'm not saying... They do?
129
00:04:45,850 --> 00:04:48,157
Have you discussed this
with Carlo?
130
00:04:48,200 --> 00:04:50,115
As Topple brand manager,
131
00:04:50,159 --> 00:04:52,422
I think he'd like
to have a say in this.
132
00:04:52,466 --> 00:04:55,164
This isn't the end.
It's a beginning.
133
00:04:55,207 --> 00:04:58,515
The beefy-handed can still enjoy
a cold Topple Popple,
134
00:04:58,559 --> 00:05:01,953
and now so can everyone else.
135
00:05:01,997 --> 00:05:03,172
[ Horn honks ]
136
00:05:03,215 --> 00:05:04,695
When I first started here,
137
00:05:04,739 --> 00:05:08,612
your father made a project
of me... me,
138
00:05:08,656 --> 00:05:10,658
a dog from down there.
139
00:05:10,701 --> 00:05:13,704
Who was I to walk among giants?
140
00:05:13,748 --> 00:05:17,491
But your dad saw something.
Know what he told me, Judy?
141
00:05:17,534 --> 00:05:20,450
"Don't touch the can.
142
00:05:20,494 --> 00:05:24,541
Never touch the can,
not even to drink from it."
143
00:05:24,585 --> 00:05:26,978
Maybe it was
because I was a dog.
144
00:05:27,022 --> 00:05:29,807
I've made up my mind. In fact,
I just approved the new design.
145
00:05:29,851 --> 00:05:31,026
[Bleep]
146
00:05:31,069 --> 00:05:32,462
You want to do this?
Go ahead.
147
00:05:32,506 --> 00:05:33,811
Call the factory.
148
00:05:33,855 --> 00:05:35,247
Call the factory
your father built
149
00:05:35,291 --> 00:05:38,338
to make one thing...
the Topple Popple can...
150
00:05:38,381 --> 00:05:41,993
and tell him
you want to change it.
151
00:05:42,037 --> 00:05:44,474
[ Country music plays ]
152
00:05:44,518 --> 00:05:46,563
♪
153
00:05:46,607 --> 00:05:48,217
[ Elevator bell dings ]
154
00:05:48,260 --> 00:05:50,872
Charlie, what is all this?
155
00:05:50,915 --> 00:05:53,178
Quick on-camera thing,
all softball.
156
00:05:53,222 --> 00:05:54,615
Focus on the future.
157
00:05:56,268 --> 00:05:59,663
We're here with Judy Ken Sebben,
CEO of Sebben & Sebben
158
00:05:59,707 --> 00:06:03,014
and the custodian of beloved
soda pop Topple Popple...
159
00:06:03,058 --> 00:06:07,062
until today, when she,
a female CEO, killed it.
160
00:06:07,105 --> 00:06:10,674
No! The product's
not going anywhere.
161
00:06:10,718 --> 00:06:14,243
It's just being repackaged.
We're making the cans slimmer.
162
00:06:14,286 --> 00:06:15,679
Why would you do that?
163
00:06:15,723 --> 00:06:17,551
So people can pick it up.
164
00:06:17,594 --> 00:06:19,248
Women people, right?
165
00:06:19,291 --> 00:06:23,383
But only the manliest drinkers
can handle Topple.
166
00:06:23,426 --> 00:06:25,515
Both: Pop me another Popple,
Farmer Phil.
167
00:06:25,559 --> 00:06:28,083
[ Chuckles ]
People love the can.
168
00:06:28,126 --> 00:06:30,215
I mean, why are you
destroying that?
169
00:06:30,259 --> 00:06:33,436
Uh, Sebben & Sebben
will always honor its past.
170
00:06:33,480 --> 00:06:35,699
[ Bulldozer beeping ]
Aah!
171
00:06:35,743 --> 00:06:38,441
[ Baby crying ]
172
00:06:40,269 --> 00:06:41,464
[ Keyboard clacking ] Sebben & Sebben
173
00:06:41,488 --> 00:06:43,141
will always honor its past.
174
00:06:43,185 --> 00:06:44,752
Topple Nation:
[ Slurps ]
175
00:06:44,795 --> 00:06:46,101
[ Ax scrapes, whips ]
176
00:06:48,320 --> 00:06:51,889
Dr. Sheila: Paul, when I saw you
on the appointment list,
177
00:06:51,933 --> 00:06:53,891
I was a little surprised.
178
00:06:53,935 --> 00:06:56,546
I haven't seen you
since you were... 9?
179
00:06:56,590 --> 00:06:58,176
It's been a while, hasn't it?
[ Chuckles ]
180
00:06:58,200 --> 00:07:00,071
So, what brings you in today?
181
00:07:00,115 --> 00:07:02,596
Well, I need a [bleep] check
from someone who's been there.
182
00:07:02,639 --> 00:07:03,901
[ Belt rattling, zipper opens ]
183
00:07:03,945 --> 00:07:05,990
It's a miracle,
Dr. Sheila.
184
00:07:06,034 --> 00:07:08,428
My foreskin's back!
185
00:07:08,471 --> 00:07:11,256
That's impossible.
I snipped you mysel...
186
00:07:11,300 --> 00:07:13,650
Oh!
187
00:07:13,694 --> 00:07:15,347
It's beautiful.
188
00:07:15,391 --> 00:07:17,915
I know. But in a way,
it does make emotional sense.
189
00:07:17,959 --> 00:07:19,264
[ Muffled groaning ]
190
00:07:19,308 --> 00:07:21,266
Foreskins are highly sensitive,
191
00:07:21,310 --> 00:07:24,269
and I'm a person who's always
deeply felt things,
192
00:07:24,313 --> 00:07:25,967
and not just in my penis.
193
00:07:26,010 --> 00:07:28,448
[ Screams ]
194
00:07:28,491 --> 00:07:31,363
[ Heart beating ]
195
00:07:31,407 --> 00:07:32,756
[ Slurps ]
196
00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:34,758
This company's been asleep
at the wheel,
197
00:07:34,802 --> 00:07:37,282
and now we're finally
doing something.
198
00:07:37,326 --> 00:07:39,589
What's next?
Let's burn some [bleep] down.
199
00:07:39,633 --> 00:07:42,462
I should take off my bra.
This stuff is really good.
200
00:07:42,505 --> 00:07:44,594
Why didn't anyone tell me?
[ Slurps ]
201
00:07:44,638 --> 00:07:46,988
[ Sighs ] Gillian, you've been
a big ally in this,
202
00:07:47,031 --> 00:07:48,946
and there haven't been
a lot of allies.
203
00:07:48,990 --> 00:07:51,514
I've been an ally. I've had your
[bleep] back through this.
204
00:07:51,558 --> 00:07:54,648
Which is why I'm putting you
both in charge
205
00:07:54,691 --> 00:07:55,953
of, uh, the rebrand.
206
00:07:55,997 --> 00:07:58,608
Ooh, my head.
This stuff is rat poison.
207
00:07:58,652 --> 00:08:00,784
I'm sorry.
Teaming us up?
208
00:08:00,828 --> 00:08:02,656
We'll do a ton of premiums.
209
00:08:02,699 --> 00:08:06,050
Um, and I have a TikTok content
strategy locked and loaded.
210
00:08:06,094 --> 00:08:07,965
[ Screaming ]
211
00:08:08,009 --> 00:08:09,489
Ugh!
212
00:08:09,532 --> 00:08:11,491
[ Static hissing ]
We got another one.
213
00:08:11,534 --> 00:08:13,536
- Another one?
- It's been happening all morning.
214
00:08:13,580 --> 00:08:15,973
The last one was dressed
like an actual can.
215
00:08:16,017 --> 00:08:17,845
We got a vintage Topple tee.
216
00:08:17,888 --> 00:08:21,239
I warned you, anytime you
[bleep] with a classic product,
217
00:08:21,283 --> 00:08:22,739
there's gonna be some
blowback.[ Zipper closes ]
218
00:08:22,763 --> 00:08:24,504
You didn't warn me.[ Grunts ]
219
00:08:24,547 --> 00:08:26,201
Well, I should have.
220
00:08:26,244 --> 00:08:27,550
[ Door closes ]
221
00:08:27,594 --> 00:08:29,509
[ Eerie music plays,
heart beating ]
222
00:08:29,552 --> 00:08:30,901
Dr. Sheila: [ Groaning ]
223
00:08:30,945 --> 00:08:32,250
Don't be alarmed, Paul.
224
00:08:32,294 --> 00:08:34,339
I know this is a lot to process.
225
00:08:34,383 --> 00:08:35,558
Talking foreskin?
226
00:08:35,602 --> 00:08:37,429
Oh, not really.
What's your name?
227
00:08:37,473 --> 00:08:39,344
It's Graham.
Oh, pleasure.
228
00:08:39,388 --> 00:08:41,695
Uh, there's a good chance
you're killing Dr. Sheila.
229
00:08:41,738 --> 00:08:43,523
She's fine.
I just knocked her out
230
00:08:43,566 --> 00:08:45,829
so we can have
a man-to-skin conversation.
231
00:08:45,873 --> 00:08:48,876
Oh, that makes sense.
Question... why me, Graham?
232
00:08:48,919 --> 00:08:52,009
Why here? Why me,
why here, why now?
233
00:08:52,053 --> 00:08:54,664
I belong to an ancient people
of sensitivity and feeling
234
00:08:54,708 --> 00:08:56,405
who once thundered
by the millions
235
00:08:56,448 --> 00:08:58,842
across the plains
of what you call North America.
236
00:08:58,886 --> 00:09:01,758
But when, through a spyglass,
we spotted strange ships
237
00:09:01,802 --> 00:09:04,108
on the horizon,
we sensed danger.
238
00:09:04,152 --> 00:09:06,589
We knew these men
would prioritize inhibitions
239
00:09:06,633 --> 00:09:08,548
over the mystical range
of full feeling.
240
00:09:08,591 --> 00:09:09,940
Well, I sure don't.
241
00:09:09,984 --> 00:09:11,594
Which is why I'm here.
242
00:09:11,638 --> 00:09:14,292
I'm super active in
the genital-autonomy movement.
243
00:09:14,336 --> 00:09:15,946
We meet at the church Thursdays.
244
00:09:15,990 --> 00:09:18,296
I have a few bear claws,
me and a few other intactivists.
245
00:09:18,340 --> 00:09:21,865
Oh, Paul... sweet,
sweet, sensitive Paul.
246
00:09:21,909 --> 00:09:23,214
You're just like your father.
247
00:09:23,258 --> 00:09:25,042
[ Gasps ]
You knew my dad?
248
00:09:25,086 --> 00:09:26,478
Oh!
249
00:09:26,522 --> 00:09:28,089
[ Foreskin squeaks, snaps ]
250
00:09:28,132 --> 00:09:29,960
[ Groaning, gags ]
251
00:09:30,004 --> 00:09:31,875
That thing attacked me!
252
00:09:31,919 --> 00:09:34,617
Security!
Aim for the [bleep]!
253
00:09:34,661 --> 00:09:36,793
No, wait! No, wait,
please stop!
254
00:09:36,837 --> 00:09:39,579
[ Gunshots ]
255
00:09:39,622 --> 00:09:41,450
Graham! Graham, wait!
256
00:09:41,493 --> 00:09:43,583
Foreskin Gra-a-a-a-a-ham!
257
00:09:43,626 --> 00:09:45,149
[ Foreskin fluttering ]
258
00:09:45,193 --> 00:09:46,411
[ Gunshots ]
259
00:09:46,455 --> 00:09:49,501
[ Keys clacking,
mouse clicking ]
260
00:09:49,545 --> 00:09:51,155
[ Computer warbles ]
261
00:09:51,199 --> 00:09:54,115
It's mail time!
262
00:09:54,158 --> 00:09:56,465
[ Gasps ] My second e-mail.
♪ Ah-ba-dum-bum-bum
263
00:09:56,508 --> 00:09:57,771
♪ Ba-ba-dum
264
00:09:57,814 --> 00:10:00,512
Man: Firewall breach! DDoS!
265
00:10:00,556 --> 00:10:03,951
We have your information...
Judy's information.
266
00:10:03,994 --> 00:10:06,083
Contact you at 2:00,
Topple Nation.
267
00:10:06,127 --> 00:10:08,477
Ooh! [ Slurps ]
268
00:10:09,696 --> 00:10:11,436
Topple Popple.
269
00:10:11,480 --> 00:10:13,264
A new day is here
270
00:10:13,308 --> 00:10:16,093
where women and children
and the terminally ill
271
00:10:16,137 --> 00:10:20,489
can finally raise a cold one
and join the Topple team.
272
00:10:20,532 --> 00:10:22,360
Plus, apparently,
we have a tag line
273
00:10:22,404 --> 00:10:23,840
that I may or may not
have heard.
274
00:10:23,884 --> 00:10:25,625
Get your hand around it.
275
00:10:25,668 --> 00:10:27,365
- Hadn't heard that.
- I kind of like it.
276
00:10:27,409 --> 00:10:29,106
"Get your hand around it."
277
00:10:29,150 --> 00:10:30,368
[ Speaks indistinctly ]
278
00:10:30,412 --> 00:10:31,674
[ Rock music plays ]
279
00:10:31,718 --> 00:10:34,372
Who wants to see
the new T-shirt design?
280
00:10:34,416 --> 00:10:37,637
We have to assume they've seen
everything, know everything.
281
00:10:37,680 --> 00:10:40,291
- Evie, what's the plan?
- How should I know?
282
00:10:40,335 --> 00:10:43,207
You're 10, [bleep] it.
You know this stuff.
283
00:10:43,251 --> 00:10:45,688
So, I cruised the Topple boards,
and I organized
284
00:10:45,732 --> 00:10:48,517
all the online hate comments
about Judy into categories.
285
00:10:48,560 --> 00:10:50,345
There's "weird,"
"weird-violent,"
286
00:10:50,388 --> 00:10:54,392
"weird-sexual," angry-weird,"
"angry-sexual," and "funny."
287
00:10:54,436 --> 00:10:58,309
My assessment is that Judy needs
to get the [bleep] out of Dodge.
288
00:10:58,353 --> 00:11:00,050
Where you ask?
To my safe house
289
00:11:00,094 --> 00:11:01,661
for people
who've been canceled online.
290
00:11:01,704 --> 00:11:03,706
- Please charge that.
- Remember the racist grandpa
291
00:11:03,750 --> 00:11:05,969
who pushed the 7-year-old
off the pony?
292
00:11:06,013 --> 00:11:08,798
No, you don't, because
he's in my safe house.
293
00:11:08,842 --> 00:11:10,060
Help!
294
00:11:10,104 --> 00:11:11,322
Your cot's waiting for you.
295
00:11:11,366 --> 00:11:12,889
[ Cellphone rings ]
296
00:11:12,933 --> 00:11:15,065
It's 2:00.
This is Judy.
297
00:11:15,109 --> 00:11:16,826
Topple Nation:
[ Distorted voice ] This is Topple Nation.
298
00:11:16,850 --> 00:11:18,982
He's got cancer.
What do you want?
299
00:11:19,026 --> 00:11:21,376
One, publicly admit
you made a horrible mistake
300
00:11:21,419 --> 00:11:23,204
in changing
-the Topple can. -No, I won't.
301
00:11:23,247 --> 00:11:25,336
Two, admit that
you are unqualified
302
00:11:25,380 --> 00:11:28,165
to lead the company
-your father built from nothing. -No, I won't.
303
00:11:28,209 --> 00:11:31,603
Three, apologize
for being a dumb [bleep].
304
00:11:31,647 --> 00:11:34,737
Nobody says that to my Judy!
305
00:11:34,781 --> 00:11:36,347
[ Clears throat ]
306
00:11:36,391 --> 00:11:38,282
I'm not apologizing,
and I'm not changing the can.
307
00:11:38,306 --> 00:11:39,742
We hoped you'd say that.
308
00:11:39,786 --> 00:11:42,005
We just published your
phone number online.
309
00:11:42,049 --> 00:11:43,615
[ Cellphone rings, beeps ]
Balls: Judy,
310
00:11:43,659 --> 00:11:46,880
this is Balls of Gordo and Balls
on Power 101.
311
00:11:46,923 --> 00:11:48,620
Permission to speak on air.
312
00:11:48,664 --> 00:11:50,753
[ Cellphone beeps ]
Release whatever you want.
313
00:11:50,797 --> 00:11:52,276
[ Cellphone beeps ]
Mer, Gillian,
314
00:11:52,320 --> 00:11:53,713
continue the Topple launch.
315
00:11:53,756 --> 00:11:55,845
Jude, you know I support you,
316
00:11:55,889 --> 00:11:58,108
but I don't want to get murdered
over a soda can.
317
00:11:58,152 --> 00:11:59,631
Which is why
Brian's joining you.
318
00:11:59,675 --> 00:12:01,242
If anyone's getting murdered,
it's him.
319
00:12:01,285 --> 00:12:02,722
You two use the hate posts
320
00:12:02,765 --> 00:12:03,940
to track down Topple Nation.
321
00:12:03,984 --> 00:12:05,550
A walk?
322
00:12:05,594 --> 00:12:07,291
Come on, kid.
323
00:12:07,335 --> 00:12:09,206
♪
324
00:12:09,250 --> 00:12:14,037
[ Cheering ]
325
00:12:14,081 --> 00:12:16,736
Welcome to Prepucian.
326
00:12:16,779 --> 00:12:21,044
I have to say, in man's world,
I felt out of place,
327
00:12:21,088 --> 00:12:23,655
but here, I belong.
328
00:12:23,699 --> 00:12:24,874
As did your father.
329
00:12:24,918 --> 00:12:26,658
Oh, please tell me about him.
330
00:12:26,702 --> 00:12:28,573
When they take a baby away
for circumcision...
331
00:12:28,617 --> 00:12:30,053
Yes.
...we offer money
332
00:12:30,097 --> 00:12:31,968
in exchange for
the child's foreskin.
333
00:12:32,012 --> 00:12:33,230
I did not know that.
334
00:12:33,274 --> 00:12:34,797
Those who won't sell
are our hope
335
00:12:34,841 --> 00:12:36,407
for a common peace.
[ Gasps ]
336
00:12:36,451 --> 00:12:38,235
And my dad didn't sell.
337
00:12:38,279 --> 00:12:39,759
Oh, he sold.
Okay.
338
00:12:39,802 --> 00:12:41,935
For about 7 bucks
in today's dollars.
339
00:12:41,978 --> 00:12:43,763
Uh-huh.
He felt guilty
340
00:12:43,806 --> 00:12:45,765
and spent months
wandering in the wilderness
341
00:12:45,808 --> 00:12:48,768
until we found him, half wild,
and nursed him back to health.
342
00:12:48,811 --> 00:12:50,291
He became one with us.
343
00:12:50,334 --> 00:12:52,815
Many of us spent time
on his penis.
344
00:12:52,859 --> 00:12:54,469
[ Cheering and applause ]
345
00:12:54,512 --> 00:12:58,255
Isn't this just the best?
Our first product launch.
346
00:12:58,299 --> 00:13:01,258
Yo, dudes, it's the
mother[bleep] Topple girls.
347
00:13:01,302 --> 00:13:04,435
Okay, we're not
the Topple girls, are we?
348
00:13:04,479 --> 00:13:06,916
We're gonna sell
so much soda today.
349
00:13:06,960 --> 00:13:08,265
[ Pop! ]
350
00:13:08,309 --> 00:13:09,919
Allow me to introduce you
351
00:13:09,963 --> 00:13:11,616
to the foreskin
who saved your father.
352
00:13:11,660 --> 00:13:13,009
Paul, this is Miriam.
353
00:13:13,053 --> 00:13:14,465
Miriam: It's a pleasure
to meet you, Paul.
354
00:13:14,489 --> 00:13:16,796
Oh, thank you for everything,
Miriam,
355
00:13:16,839 --> 00:13:19,363
especially for
a satisfying explanation
356
00:13:19,407 --> 00:13:21,496
of why my father
walked away from us.
357
00:13:21,539 --> 00:13:24,281
-What's that?
-It's a transmitter. It's like 6G.
358
00:13:24,325 --> 00:13:26,283
Hmm.
And that's an altar for the sacrifice.
359
00:13:26,327 --> 00:13:29,025
Oh. What are you sacrificing?
Aah!
360
00:13:29,069 --> 00:13:30,722
Oh!
361
00:13:32,333 --> 00:13:35,292
What's going on?
Graham! Ugh!
362
00:13:35,336 --> 00:13:36,946
Your father was going to be
the bridge
363
00:13:36,990 --> 00:13:38,992
between humans and foreskins,
364
00:13:39,035 --> 00:13:41,864
two cultures united in love
and sensuality,
365
00:13:41,908 --> 00:13:44,475
and you came along and ruined
everything by being born!
366
00:13:44,519 --> 00:13:46,390
Aah!
I know this smell.
367
00:13:46,434 --> 00:13:48,828
And now you shall die!
368
00:13:48,871 --> 00:13:50,873
Live.
On Instagram.
369
00:13:50,917 --> 00:13:52,309
[ Keys clack ]
370
00:13:52,353 --> 00:13:54,964
[ Mouse clicks ]
371
00:13:55,008 --> 00:13:57,140
He's released your
bank-account info
372
00:13:57,184 --> 00:14:00,013
and your Social Security number.
373
00:14:00,056 --> 00:14:04,147
Oh, Jude,
he just released your sex tape.
374
00:14:04,191 --> 00:14:06,671
Why didn't you just tell me
you had a sex tape?
375
00:14:06,715 --> 00:14:07,977
Because there is no sex tape.
376
00:14:08,021 --> 00:14:09,892
Then what do they think
they have?
377
00:14:09,936 --> 00:14:12,242
Oh![ Laughs]
378
00:14:12,286 --> 00:14:14,679
Glenn, we're six hours in
to the leaked
379
00:14:14,723 --> 00:14:17,900
Judy Ken Sebben video,
and there's still no sex.
380
00:14:17,944 --> 00:14:20,729
So I guess we can call it
a no-sex tape.
381
00:14:20,772 --> 00:14:22,557
I set up a webcam
382
00:14:22,600 --> 00:14:25,212
so I could check on Sir Peter
Pants when I'm not home.
383
00:14:25,255 --> 00:14:26,996
Lots of cat, no sex.
384
00:14:27,040 --> 00:14:30,260
This is a billion times worse
than a sex tape.
385
00:14:30,304 --> 00:14:32,784
Maybe I didn't have my coffee
strong enough this morning.
386
00:14:32,828 --> 00:14:34,351
I don't know. I mean,
387
00:14:34,395 --> 00:14:36,788
this is just a waste of time
for the viewers.
388
00:14:36,832 --> 00:14:38,268
I'm sick of this [bleep].
389
00:14:38,312 --> 00:14:40,880
Get me a wireless account
and a laptop.
390
00:14:40,923 --> 00:14:42,707
[ Doors whirring ]
391
00:14:42,751 --> 00:14:45,188
You know, we got to
get you one of these.
392
00:14:45,232 --> 00:14:46,581
[ Up-tempo music plays ]
393
00:14:46,624 --> 00:14:49,062
[ Fans cheering ]
394
00:14:50,585 --> 00:14:52,587
Where in the [bleep] is Brian?
395
00:14:52,630 --> 00:14:54,763
He's the one who's supposed to
be murdered!
396
00:14:54,806 --> 00:15:00,073
♪
397
00:15:00,116 --> 00:15:03,380
[ Engine revving ]
398
00:15:03,424 --> 00:15:05,426
[ Keyboard clacking ]
399
00:15:05,469 --> 00:15:09,473
Uh, shouldn't you have scanned
that laptop for the Topple virus
400
00:15:09,517 --> 00:15:12,259
before giving it to Jessica
from accounting?
401
00:15:12,302 --> 00:15:14,652
Charlie...
402
00:15:16,611 --> 00:15:18,047
...check your Wi-Fi.
403
00:15:18,091 --> 00:15:19,788
[ Cellphone beeps ]
It's dead.
404
00:15:21,007 --> 00:15:24,140
[ Chuckles ]
You're a genius.
405
00:15:24,184 --> 00:15:31,626
♪
406
00:15:33,454 --> 00:15:35,891
Graham, why?
407
00:15:37,284 --> 00:15:39,982
[ High-pitched groaning ]
408
00:15:40,026 --> 00:15:42,854
We now summon Instagram stories.
409
00:15:42,898 --> 00:15:45,161
What the [bleep]
410
00:15:45,205 --> 00:15:47,076
Ow!
411
00:15:47,120 --> 00:15:49,296
Hey, guys, it's Miriam.
412
00:15:49,339 --> 00:15:51,448
I know I was gonna show you how
to do a two-minute eyebrow hack,
413
00:15:51,472 --> 00:15:53,343
but I thought
I'd switch things up.
414
00:15:53,387 --> 00:15:56,651
So today we're gonna sacrifice
a real, live human.
415
00:15:56,694 --> 00:15:59,523
Firewall breach, DDoS.
416
00:15:59,567 --> 00:16:01,699
Ugh! What the? We have your information.
417
00:16:01,743 --> 00:16:04,006
Someone check the router.[ Cries ]
418
00:16:04,050 --> 00:16:08,706
Aah!
419
00:16:08,750 --> 00:16:09,969
[ Breathing heavily ]
420
00:16:10,012 --> 00:16:14,451
Aah! Aah! Aah!
421
00:16:14,495 --> 00:16:16,366
[ Groans ]
422
00:16:16,410 --> 00:16:19,108
[ Radio chatter ]
423
00:16:19,152 --> 00:16:22,024
[ Siren wailing ][ Gasps ]
424
00:16:22,068 --> 00:16:24,635
Don't kill me, Graham!
425
00:16:24,679 --> 00:16:26,898
Hush, man, hush.
I can't kill you.
426
00:16:26,942 --> 00:16:28,813
It's not in my character.[ Dogs barking ]
427
00:16:28,857 --> 00:16:31,294
If I get us out of here, you
have to help me with something.
428
00:16:31,338 --> 00:16:32,556
- Deal?
- Deal.
429
00:16:32,600 --> 00:16:35,037
Slap it.
Ow.
430
00:16:35,081 --> 00:16:37,735
How'd the launch go?
431
00:16:37,779 --> 00:16:40,651
It was...
Pbht! [ Babbles ]
432
00:16:40,695 --> 00:16:43,306
[ Telephone rings ]
Birdvan phone.
433
00:16:43,350 --> 00:16:44,892
Topple Nation:
[ Distorted voice ] Well-done, Judy.
434
00:16:44,916 --> 00:16:46,831
How'd you know we were calling
from a landline?
435
00:16:46,875 --> 00:16:49,704
You like old-fashioned soda.
Wasn't rocket science.
436
00:16:49,747 --> 00:16:52,489
Is that a phone line, in a van?
437
00:16:52,533 --> 00:16:54,013
Only line that works right now.
438
00:16:54,056 --> 00:16:56,363
We used the virus to wreck
the city network.
439
00:16:56,406 --> 00:16:58,669
Oh, if you thought the no-sex
tape was embarrassing,
440
00:16:58,713 --> 00:17:01,759
just wait till we release
your CEO head shots.
441
00:17:01,803 --> 00:17:03,022
Gross!
442
00:17:03,065 --> 00:17:05,154
And all of your medical records,
443
00:17:05,198 --> 00:17:07,200
including gynecological.
444
00:17:07,243 --> 00:17:09,854
[ Laughs ]
445
00:17:09,898 --> 00:17:12,683
Got it!
It's only a couple miles away.
446
00:17:12,727 --> 00:17:14,946
[ Country music playing ]
447
00:17:14,990 --> 00:17:19,864
♪
448
00:17:19,908 --> 00:17:23,520
Hey, maybe we should
check these people out.
449
00:17:23,564 --> 00:17:24,913
[ Music stops ]
450
00:17:24,956 --> 00:17:26,349
Yes?
451
00:17:26,393 --> 00:17:28,395
You like Topple Popple, do you?
452
00:17:28,438 --> 00:17:31,050
Oh, I'm sorry.
Is that a crime?
453
00:17:31,093 --> 00:17:32,616
Not yet.
454
00:17:32,660 --> 00:17:35,097
Those are some real meat hooks
you got there...
455
00:17:35,141 --> 00:17:37,273
big and beefy.
456
00:17:37,317 --> 00:17:38,535
[ Door slams ]
457
00:17:38,579 --> 00:17:40,102
[ Tires screech ]
458
00:17:40,146 --> 00:17:41,364
[ Van door opens ]
459
00:17:41,408 --> 00:17:43,453
Birdgirl!
460
00:17:45,325 --> 00:17:48,719
Guys, we've got
the wrong address.
461
00:17:48,763 --> 00:17:53,072
[ Singing operatically ]
462
00:17:55,596 --> 00:17:57,380
Oh!
463
00:17:57,424 --> 00:18:00,383
Look, let me do this.
464
00:18:00,427 --> 00:18:02,907
I understand this guy.
Let me bring him out alone.
465
00:18:02,951 --> 00:18:04,126
You've got five minutes.
466
00:18:04,170 --> 00:18:06,259
Nobody move!
467
00:18:06,302 --> 00:18:09,262
Hello? Hello?
468
00:18:09,305 --> 00:18:11,240
Topple Nation:
[ Distorted voice ] It's just me here, I'm afraid.
469
00:18:11,264 --> 00:18:13,092
[ GoPro whining ]
470
00:18:13,135 --> 00:18:14,658
I know how you feel.
471
00:18:14,702 --> 00:18:16,573
You don't know anything
about me.
472
00:18:16,617 --> 00:18:19,663
Disaffected, irrelevant.
473
00:18:19,707 --> 00:18:22,013
Dog With Bucket Hat:
Brian, Brian![ Pounding on door ]
474
00:18:22,057 --> 00:18:24,277
It's not what you think!
475
00:18:24,320 --> 00:18:26,627
The world changes,
but you're the same.
476
00:18:26,670 --> 00:18:28,237
Brian!
477
00:18:28,281 --> 00:18:30,761
Nobody move!
Show us your hands.
478
00:18:30,805 --> 00:18:33,460
You're a... woman?
479
00:18:33,503 --> 00:18:37,420
And your hands,
they're magnificent.
480
00:18:37,464 --> 00:18:39,248
Step away from the mouse pad.
481
00:18:39,292 --> 00:18:42,164
[ Normal voice ]
Make me.
482
00:18:42,208 --> 00:18:46,647
[Groaning] I had a whole spiel
thinking you'd be a guy.
483
00:18:46,690 --> 00:18:48,518
Not a guy.
[ Groans ]
484
00:18:48,562 --> 00:18:53,784
Just a lady [groaning] with
big paws who likes her soda.
485
00:18:53,828 --> 00:18:56,961
Why are you wearing a GoPro?
486
00:18:57,005 --> 00:18:58,354
Legal reasons.
487
00:18:58,398 --> 00:19:00,617
[ Birds chirping ]
488
00:19:00,661 --> 00:19:03,011
Helen and I were together
37 years,
489
00:19:03,054 --> 00:19:05,622
but then my host body, David,
fell ill and passed away.
490
00:19:05,666 --> 00:19:07,450
We could no longer be with her.
491
00:19:07,494 --> 00:19:10,975
She was the love of my life,
Helen, and she's in that house.
492
00:19:11,019 --> 00:19:14,153
Wait. When you said David,
did you mean...
493
00:19:14,196 --> 00:19:16,024
Yes, Paul.
Your father.
494
00:19:16,067 --> 00:19:18,635
[ Chuckles ] And when you say
house, you mean...
495
00:19:18,679 --> 00:19:20,333
- A house.
- Aha.
496
00:19:20,376 --> 00:19:23,727
[ Doorbell rings "The Jetsons"
theme ]
497
00:19:23,771 --> 00:19:26,165
Oh, I don't like this.
What's going on in there?
498
00:19:26,208 --> 00:19:28,732
Let's just see, shall we?
I think we shall.
499
00:19:28,776 --> 00:19:31,170
Brian?
1, 2, 1, 2.
500
00:19:31,213 --> 00:19:33,084
[ Groaning] It's been
five minutes. Help!
501
00:19:33,128 --> 00:19:36,218
You're the one in the costume.
502
00:19:36,262 --> 00:19:38,307
[ Gagging ]
503
00:19:38,351 --> 00:19:39,874
[ Grunts ] Ow!
504
00:19:39,917 --> 00:19:43,356
Shouldn't you be on my side
[groaning] rooting for me?
505
00:19:43,399 --> 00:19:46,315
I'm all for women CEOs
506
00:19:46,359 --> 00:19:51,668
[groaning] as long as they
keep their hands...
507
00:19:51,712 --> 00:19:54,628
off my cans.
508
00:19:56,107 --> 00:19:58,327
You need any help in there?
509
00:19:58,371 --> 00:20:00,242
No. We got this.
510
00:20:00,286 --> 00:20:02,853
[ Siren chirps ]
511
00:20:02,897 --> 00:20:06,379
[ Sighs ] It's over.
Topple is poppled.
512
00:20:06,422 --> 00:20:09,120
The important thing is all your
ladies' medical secrets are safe.
513
00:20:09,164 --> 00:20:13,081
- You're welcome.
- Um, why is a picture of my hooha trending?
514
00:20:13,124 --> 00:20:15,214
Probably because
I cloned all our files,
515
00:20:15,257 --> 00:20:17,085
sent them to all
the major news outlets,
516
00:20:17,128 --> 00:20:19,348
and told them to release it
if they didn't hear from me.
517
00:20:19,392 --> 00:20:20,784
It's called a failsafe.
518
00:20:20,828 --> 00:20:24,048
It's in every spy movie,
and it works.
519
00:20:24,092 --> 00:20:26,050
You send it to the press...
520
00:20:26,094 --> 00:20:28,357
If you want it to get out...
521
00:20:28,401 --> 00:20:29,793
Not keep it a secret...
522
00:20:29,837 --> 00:20:32,970
You [bleep] idiot.
523
00:20:34,842 --> 00:20:37,975
[ Classical music plays ]
524
00:20:38,019 --> 00:20:42,458
Yes, David was my one and only.
I miss him horribly.
525
00:20:42,502 --> 00:20:45,418
Well, what if you could share
a piece of David again,
526
00:20:45,461 --> 00:20:48,247
if just for a moment?
527
00:20:48,290 --> 00:20:49,552
[ Gasps ]
528
00:20:49,596 --> 00:20:50,945
Helen!
529
00:20:52,294 --> 00:20:53,904
Graham!
530
00:20:53,948 --> 00:20:55,602
[ Gasps ]
531
00:20:55,645 --> 00:20:59,170
Oh, I somehow wish
I could step away.
532
00:20:59,214 --> 00:21:03,479
Well, we should probably
be a-moseying down the road.
533
00:21:03,523 --> 00:21:06,265
[ Chuckles ] What's going on
with you two?
534
00:21:06,308 --> 00:21:09,093
You are about to have
the best half-hour of your life.
535
00:21:09,137 --> 00:21:11,008
[ Laughing maniacally ]
536
00:21:11,052 --> 00:21:15,448
I don't know why I'm laughing.
[ Laughs ] New feelings.
537
00:21:17,537 --> 00:21:20,017
Stay here with us,
live as a thrupple.
538
00:21:20,061 --> 00:21:21,778
There's absolutely nothing
for you out there.
539
00:21:21,802 --> 00:21:24,413
No, I must go.
I have values.
540
00:21:24,457 --> 00:21:27,416
I'm not gutter trash
like you two.
541
00:21:27,460 --> 00:21:31,681
But through all this,
I somehow feel changed.
542
00:21:31,725 --> 00:21:38,645
Now I have a responsibility to
bring feeling back to mankind!
543
00:21:38,688 --> 00:21:42,083
It's my power now!
544
00:21:44,259 --> 00:21:49,177
New Topple Popple slim cans,
Topple Popple classic cans.
545
00:21:49,220 --> 00:21:51,527
If you a fake fan,
get you that new
546
00:21:51,571 --> 00:21:53,790
Topple Popple slim can light.
547
00:21:53,834 --> 00:21:56,184
If you a day-one real one,
548
00:21:56,227 --> 00:21:57,968
stick with that
Topple Popple classic.
549
00:21:58,012 --> 00:22:01,798
Sure, that slim-can Topple
new new is 50% cheaper.
550
00:22:01,842 --> 00:22:05,149
But that classic can
is 50% realer.
551
00:22:05,193 --> 00:22:08,327
Both:
Get your hand around that!
552
00:22:08,370 --> 00:22:09,869
[ Rapping ] ♪ Who is the girl
that saves the world? ♪
553
00:22:09,893 --> 00:22:11,721
♪ Hey! Birdgirl!
554
00:22:11,765 --> 00:22:13,332
♪ Wings of fire,
unique like pearls ♪
555
00:22:13,375 --> 00:22:15,203
♪ Hey! Birdgirl!
556
00:22:15,246 --> 00:22:16,639
♪ Who's the one
they came to see? ♪
557
00:22:16,683 --> 00:22:18,337
♪ Hey! Birdgirl!
558
00:22:18,380 --> 00:22:19,990
♪ Ultra fierce
and so unique ♪
559
00:22:20,034 --> 00:22:23,167
♪ Hey! Birdgirl!
560
00:22:23,211 --> 00:22:25,344
♪ Hey! Hey!
561
00:22:25,387 --> 00:22:28,347
[ Imitating fanfare ]
Birdgirl!
562
00:22:28,390 --> 00:22:32,568
♪
563
00:22:32,618 --> 00:22:37,168
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