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1
00:00:50,200 --> 00:00:52,719
'Welcome to Teach Yourself Spanish.'
2
00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:54,079
Thank you.
3
00:00:54,080 --> 00:00:58,118
'A course that can transform your
world and broaden your horizons.
4
00:00:58,119 --> 00:01:00,358
'Learning a language
will open new vistas,
5
00:01:00,359 --> 00:01:03,680
'making you feel empowered,
and able to enjoy new cultures.'
6
00:01:03,681 --> 00:01:06,399
For crying out loud. Get on with it.
7
00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:10,879
'Lesson one, general phrases.
Repeat after me.
8
00:01:10,880 --> 00:01:12,919
'Hola. Hello.'
9
00:01:12,920 --> 00:01:15,119
Hola. Hello.
10
00:01:15,120 --> 00:01:16,879
'Buenos dias. Good day.'
11
00:01:16,880 --> 00:01:19,399
Buenos dias. Good day.
12
00:01:19,400 --> 00:01:21,439
Oh, this is a doddle. Hiya.
13
00:01:21,440 --> 00:01:23,320
'Buenos tardes. Good afternoon.'
14
00:01:23,321 --> 00:01:25,399
Beunos tardes. Good afternoon.
15
00:01:25,400 --> 00:01:27,279
What are you up to?
16
00:01:27,280 --> 00:01:30,480
I'm learning Spanish. I found this
old kit we bought years ago.
17
00:01:30,487 --> 00:01:31,526
Never used.
18
00:01:32,526 --> 00:01:35,366
Did you get that after you went
on that coach holiday to Malaga?
19
00:01:35,367 --> 00:01:37,165
Oh yeah.
20
00:01:37,166 --> 00:01:40,965
28 hours on a bus
stinking of sick and bleach.
21
00:01:40,966 --> 00:01:44,404
Never again. Though your Dad
and I did have a laugh.
22
00:01:44,405 --> 00:01:47,524
Is there something you're not
telling us? You going away?
23
00:01:47,525 --> 00:01:50,326
No, I just thought I'd learn
a language. What for?
24
00:01:50,327 --> 00:01:52,245
I don't know yet.
25
00:01:52,246 --> 00:01:55,964
Right, while you do that, would it
be all right I...? Hiya Eileen.
26
00:01:55,965 --> 00:01:58,644
So, is that all right if we just have
a quick scoot in the loft?
27
00:01:58,645 --> 00:01:59,884
I haven't asked her yet.
28
00:01:59,885 --> 00:02:02,966
I just want to get some stuff of
mine out of the attic. That OK?
29
00:02:02,967 --> 00:02:04,445
What stuff? What for?
30
00:02:04,446 --> 00:02:07,644
We'll only be a minute. You don't
want to know. I think I do.
31
00:02:07,645 --> 00:02:10,564
Ray wants to find the rules
to a board game
32
00:02:10,565 --> 00:02:12,326
he's sold on the internet.
33
00:02:13,326 --> 00:02:14,365
You what?
34
00:02:14,366 --> 00:02:15,965
I was on eBay
35
00:02:15,966 --> 00:02:19,606
and I saw that the edition
of Monopoly that I've got,
36
00:02:19,607 --> 00:02:22,525
an old limited edition,
was going for...
37
00:02:22,533 --> 00:02:24,732
Well, you wouldn't believe it.
38
00:02:24,733 --> 00:02:29,853
So, I got it out to look at it, and
it's all in pristine condition.
39
00:02:31,053 --> 00:02:34,851
It's never been played with. Look,
you'd think it was the Turin Shroud.
40
00:02:34,852 --> 00:02:37,811
But someone spilt coffee
over the instructions.
41
00:02:37,812 --> 00:02:41,051
Destroying its value in one moment.
And I've already sold it.
42
00:02:41,052 --> 00:02:44,411
I said I was sorry.
And I've given you the instructions out of ours to make up.
43
00:02:44,412 --> 00:02:46,371
Maybe you're right,
I didn't need to know.
44
00:02:46,372 --> 00:02:48,811
He's coming to collect it off me
this afternoon.
45
00:02:48,812 --> 00:02:51,731
The only worry is if the
instructions are clearly different.
46
00:02:51,732 --> 00:02:53,051
We'll cross that bridge.
47
00:02:53,052 --> 00:02:55,173
I've only got to sell
a couple more things
48
00:02:55,174 --> 00:02:57,092
and I'll be a power seller.
49
00:02:57,093 --> 00:02:58,212
A what?
50
00:02:58,213 --> 00:03:01,333
He's sold so much crap
and he's got such a good record
51
00:03:01,334 --> 00:03:06,052
for not ripping people off etc
that he gets to join a special club.
52
00:03:06,053 --> 00:03:07,692
Isn't that sweet?
53
00:03:07,693 --> 00:03:10,171
Probably didn't need
to know that, either.
54
00:03:10,172 --> 00:03:12,891
Right, let's do it.
Do you have to do this now?
55
00:03:12,892 --> 00:03:14,611
I don't know what
it's like up there.
56
00:03:14,612 --> 00:03:16,891
You won't know we're there.
The sooner we get it done,
57
00:03:16,892 --> 00:03:19,531
the sooner we can all forget about
it. Will you watch the kids?
58
00:03:19,532 --> 00:03:21,531
Well, I was trying to do
my Spanish tapes here.
59
00:03:21,532 --> 00:03:23,051
What we going to do, Nan?
60
00:03:23,052 --> 00:03:24,931
Can we bake some fairy cakes?
61
00:03:24,932 --> 00:03:28,371
It's fine. Come upstairs with us
kids. It doesn't matter.
62
00:03:28,372 --> 00:03:30,251
No, no. I don't want to interrupt.
63
00:03:30,252 --> 00:03:32,491
Don't involve us
in this eBay madness.
64
00:03:32,492 --> 00:03:35,213
You're not going to make me
go in the attic are you?
65
00:03:38,373 --> 00:03:40,332
Right, where was I?
66
00:03:40,333 --> 00:03:42,053
'Good night.'
67
00:03:43,413 --> 00:03:45,853
Oh, what was that? Rewind... Help!
68
00:03:49,893 --> 00:03:52,532
'Welcome to Teach Yourself Spanish.'
69
00:03:52,533 --> 00:03:54,771
Bugger! It's gone back
to the beginning.
70
00:03:54,772 --> 00:03:58,251
'A course that can transform your
world and broaden your horizons.
71
00:03:58,252 --> 00:04:00,093
'Learning a language...' Shut Up!
72
00:04:00,094 --> 00:04:03,492
Oh! Look at the state of it up here.
73
00:04:03,493 --> 00:04:06,571
You want to get some shelves,
some organisation.
74
00:04:06,572 --> 00:04:07,851
Can you see the Monopoly?
75
00:04:07,852 --> 00:04:09,251
I don't know where to start.
76
00:04:09,252 --> 00:04:11,493
Just get it out and then we can go.
77
00:04:11,494 --> 00:04:13,172
What's up there, Dad?
78
00:04:13,173 --> 00:04:15,971
Do you want to come and have
a look? Yeah! No.
79
00:04:15,972 --> 00:04:17,573
Look at all these cobwebs.
80
00:04:17,574 --> 00:04:20,132
Is there spiders? Big spiders?
81
00:04:20,133 --> 00:04:22,771
No, not big ones.
Little friendly ones.
82
00:04:22,772 --> 00:04:24,373
I can't even see any just now.
83
00:04:24,374 --> 00:04:26,812
Any bats? Snakes? Crocodiles?
84
00:04:26,813 --> 00:04:29,693
No. There's nothing like that
in your nanny's attic.
85
00:04:29,694 --> 00:04:32,892
Maybe me mum's thinking
of moving to Spain.
86
00:04:32,893 --> 00:04:34,652
Hey...
87
00:04:34,653 --> 00:04:36,251
You know, Majorca's lovely.
88
00:04:36,252 --> 00:04:39,291
Wouldn't it be great to go
and visit her in Majorca?
89
00:04:39,292 --> 00:04:42,291
Well, yeah, but why?
What's wrong with here?
90
00:04:42,292 --> 00:04:44,091
She might have told us
she was moving.
91
00:04:44,092 --> 00:04:47,091
Is Nanny leaving?
We'll never see her again?
92
00:04:47,092 --> 00:04:49,131
Not if I have anything
to do with it.
93
00:04:49,132 --> 00:04:51,331
Oh, you're not bringing stuff out!
94
00:04:51,332 --> 00:04:53,371
I've got to,
so I can see what's where.
95
00:04:53,372 --> 00:04:55,853
Could do with throwing
all this crap away.
96
00:04:55,854 --> 00:04:59,932
Look at this. I made this.
97
00:04:59,933 --> 00:05:03,692
Look. Look, kids, that's Susie.
98
00:05:03,693 --> 00:05:06,212
I made her. Isn't she great?
99
00:05:06,213 --> 00:05:09,253
She's creepy. Can you put her
back in the attic, please?
100
00:05:12,453 --> 00:05:15,012
Perdone. Excuse me.
101
00:05:15,013 --> 00:05:16,892
I'm a natural.
102
00:05:16,893 --> 00:05:19,653
'Lo siento pero podria ayudarme,
por favor?'
103
00:05:19,654 --> 00:05:20,812
Hiya, Nan.
104
00:05:20,813 --> 00:05:26,212
Oh... hiya. Hiya, Nan. Will you pay
for singing lessons for me?
105
00:05:26,213 --> 00:05:29,932
You want to learn to sing? Why not.
106
00:05:29,933 --> 00:05:31,251
What's brought this on?
107
00:05:31,252 --> 00:05:33,693
I want to go on X Factor
and become famous.
108
00:05:33,694 --> 00:05:35,532
But you can't even sing.
109
00:05:35,533 --> 00:05:38,611
I know, that's why
I want the lessons, dummy.
110
00:05:38,612 --> 00:05:41,653
But then most of them
on there can't sing anyway.
111
00:05:41,654 --> 00:05:43,692
We'll discuss it. OK, Nan.
112
00:05:43,693 --> 00:05:48,852
Well, I'm just doing this teach
yourself Spanish tape thing here.
113
00:05:48,853 --> 00:05:50,693
OK. Great.
114
00:05:52,013 --> 00:05:54,933
So will you two
be all right through there?
115
00:05:54,934 --> 00:05:56,652
Yeah. Sound.
116
00:05:56,653 --> 00:05:57,973
Ta.
117
00:06:12,013 --> 00:06:13,973
Is that loud enough in there?
118
00:06:13,974 --> 00:06:15,412
What's she saying?
119
00:06:15,413 --> 00:06:18,612
I can't hear you!
You'll have to speak up.
120
00:06:18,613 --> 00:06:20,172
'I'm sorry but...'
121
00:06:20,173 --> 00:06:22,053
What now?
122
00:06:23,813 --> 00:06:26,691
Mandy, what a surprise.
Could you do me a favour?
123
00:06:26,692 --> 00:06:29,851
My freezer's full and I've got
all this cheap food from work.
124
00:06:29,852 --> 00:06:32,493
I couldn't store it in yours,
could I? Well...
125
00:06:32,494 --> 00:06:34,212
You got any room?
126
00:06:34,213 --> 00:06:36,812
Oh, yeah, you've got loads of space.
127
00:06:36,813 --> 00:06:38,692
Feel free.
128
00:06:38,693 --> 00:06:42,571
It's all the food they can't sell
cos it's near it's date,
129
00:06:42,572 --> 00:06:45,131
they're practically
throwing it away.
130
00:06:45,132 --> 00:06:47,573
And my two chest freezers
are full to bursting.
131
00:06:50,133 --> 00:06:52,653
What the hell is that?
132
00:06:55,173 --> 00:06:58,292
Anything broken? Don't think so.
133
00:06:58,293 --> 00:07:01,892
Are there zombies up there?
No. why would there be?
134
00:07:01,893 --> 00:07:03,491
All home shave zombies in.
135
00:07:03,492 --> 00:07:05,331
They live in the attic,
under the bed,
136
00:07:05,332 --> 00:07:07,811
and in the freezer compartment
in the fridge.
137
00:07:07,812 --> 00:07:10,611
There's no such thing as zombies.
Who told you all that?
138
00:07:10,612 --> 00:07:13,371
Ethan. Yes, well, I'm going to kill
him next time I see him.
139
00:07:13,372 --> 00:07:15,291
Don't kill him, Mum. I like Ethan.
140
00:07:15,292 --> 00:07:19,171
Liam, I wouldn't actually kill him,
it's just an expression.
141
00:07:19,172 --> 00:07:21,213
Not a very helpful expression,
now, is it?
142
00:07:22,453 --> 00:07:24,692
What is all this messness?
143
00:07:24,693 --> 00:07:26,291
It's fine. We're nearly done.
144
00:07:26,292 --> 00:07:28,933
You know, you could sell
a lot of this on eBay.
145
00:07:28,934 --> 00:07:31,572
Isn't this stuff mostly rubbish?
146
00:07:31,573 --> 00:07:35,012
That's what they sell on eBay,
mostly rubbish.
147
00:07:35,013 --> 00:07:37,132
Now, that is not true.
148
00:07:37,133 --> 00:07:39,971
You can find some amazing stuff
if you know where to look.
149
00:07:39,972 --> 00:07:43,291
I read this tip the other day.
Here we go. He's going to try and convert you now.
150
00:07:43,292 --> 00:07:46,971
When you're searching for something,
spell it wrong because sometimes
151
00:07:46,972 --> 00:07:48,411
the seller makes a mistake
152
00:07:48,412 --> 00:07:51,091
and doesn't notice and only crafty
people... Like you.
153
00:07:51,092 --> 00:07:54,451
Manage to track it down
because everyone else has searched
154
00:07:54,452 --> 00:07:57,731
under the correct spelling.
Oh, yes. Fascinating!
155
00:07:57,732 --> 00:08:01,051
It would be if I knew what
he was talking about.
156
00:08:01,052 --> 00:08:04,011
Oh, Eileen, there's a whole world
just at your fingertips.
157
00:08:04,012 --> 00:08:05,571
They've even got this app now
158
00:08:05,572 --> 00:08:07,731
that will bid for you
at the last minute,
159
00:08:07,732 --> 00:08:10,413
so you don't miss out on
the bargain you're bidding on.
160
00:08:10,414 --> 00:08:12,572
The wonders of technology, eh?
161
00:08:12,573 --> 00:08:15,571
What are these round black things,
Nan? Place mats?
162
00:08:15,572 --> 00:08:18,371
No be careful with those.
They're my 78s.
163
00:08:18,372 --> 00:08:21,053
That's what we used to play
music on before CDs.
164
00:08:21,054 --> 00:08:23,012
What's a CD?
165
00:08:23,013 --> 00:08:25,291
It's like iTunes
but in physical form.
166
00:08:25,292 --> 00:08:26,731
I'd like to hear them.
167
00:08:26,732 --> 00:08:29,211
Well, what a relief
we haven't got a record player
168
00:08:29,212 --> 00:08:31,531
and we can just focus
on what we're doing.
169
00:08:31,532 --> 00:08:34,451
I've found one. Oh, great.
It's got no plug.
170
00:08:34,452 --> 00:08:35,731
Thank heavens for that.
171
00:08:35,732 --> 00:08:39,293
Right, put everything back
and don't bring anything else down.
172
00:08:40,533 --> 00:08:43,811
Yep, me mum's right.
There must be a plug here somewhere.
173
00:08:43,812 --> 00:08:45,293
The kids would love to hear it.
174
00:08:45,294 --> 00:08:50,932
Have you found that bloomin'
game yet? Look at this, Jack.
175
00:08:50,933 --> 00:08:52,731
This is my old Brownie uniform.
176
00:08:52,732 --> 00:08:55,173
You used to get a badge
if you were good at something.
177
00:08:55,174 --> 00:08:58,652
That's for making a cup of tea,
crossing the road
178
00:08:58,653 --> 00:09:01,772
and, erm, brushing up.
179
00:09:01,773 --> 00:09:03,333
Did you get one for breathing?
180
00:09:08,733 --> 00:09:10,332
Budge up.
181
00:09:10,333 --> 00:09:12,092
I love Popeye.
182
00:09:12,093 --> 00:09:15,091
It wouldn't be anything to do
with the large amount of violence
183
00:09:15,092 --> 00:09:16,813
and fighting in every episode?
184
00:09:18,013 --> 00:09:20,973
We were watching that!
Not any more. That's better.
185
00:09:22,053 --> 00:09:24,651
Juliet Bravo. When did they
start repeating that?
186
00:09:24,652 --> 00:09:26,373
Are you watching this or texting?
187
00:09:26,374 --> 00:09:29,532
Both. Multi-tasking.
Watch and learn.
188
00:09:29,533 --> 00:09:31,573
You all right, Ei?
189
00:09:32,933 --> 00:09:34,733
Yeah, great, fine thanks.
190
00:09:40,533 --> 00:09:43,373
'Everything you need for all
weekend? I'm going to kill you.'
191
00:09:44,933 --> 00:09:48,853
Mum? Just thought I'd pop by and get
some peace before going home
192
00:09:48,854 --> 00:09:51,852
to the asylum. Surprise. Peace, eh?
193
00:09:51,853 --> 00:09:54,891
The asylum's HERE.
What are yous doing here?
194
00:09:54,892 --> 00:09:57,971
Just popped round to see Eileen.
And when have you ever done that?
195
00:09:57,972 --> 00:09:59,851
Who are those flowers for?
Me mum.
196
00:09:59,852 --> 00:10:01,691
When do you ever buy ME flowers?
197
00:10:01,692 --> 00:10:04,371
I bought you some the other week
but you didn't like colour.
198
00:10:04,372 --> 00:10:06,093
And that they set of your hay fever.
199
00:10:06,094 --> 00:10:07,453
In October.
200
00:10:08,933 --> 00:10:11,173
Oh, hiya. Yeah, I'll give
you the address.
201
00:10:12,453 --> 00:10:15,252
What's she up to?
Like we know. Or care.
202
00:10:15,253 --> 00:10:17,813
Where's your nan?
She was there a minute ago.
203
00:10:17,814 --> 00:10:21,332
Oh, yeah. Dad, can I have
ice-skating lessons?
204
00:10:21,333 --> 00:10:23,651
What for? I want to go
on Dancing On Ice.
205
00:10:23,652 --> 00:10:25,811
Don't you have to be
a celebrity to go on that?
206
00:10:25,812 --> 00:10:28,573
Well, I will be once I've had me
singing lessons off me nan
207
00:10:28,574 --> 00:10:30,053
and won X Factor.
208
00:10:31,493 --> 00:10:33,733
We'll see.
Let's find your nan first.
209
00:10:35,213 --> 00:10:42,092
Tienes una mesa
para seis personae?
210
00:10:42,093 --> 00:10:43,653
Bloody hell.
211
00:10:45,293 --> 00:10:47,373
Do you have a table for six?
212
00:10:49,093 --> 00:10:52,493
Right, it's all there.
Anything else just let me know.
213
00:10:53,933 --> 00:10:55,253
Ta.
214
00:11:01,613 --> 00:11:03,972
Er, what are you up to?
215
00:11:03,973 --> 00:11:05,813
None of your beeswax.
216
00:11:11,293 --> 00:11:12,892
Have you seen me mum?
217
00:11:12,893 --> 00:11:14,332
She's downstairs.
218
00:11:14,333 --> 00:11:16,652
Not any more. She's vanished.
219
00:11:16,653 --> 00:11:18,572
What are you doing up there?
220
00:11:18,573 --> 00:11:21,531
Or shouldn't I ask?
Oh, you don't want to know.
221
00:11:21,532 --> 00:11:24,333
I bet me mum's told you
she's moving to Spain, hasn't she?
222
00:11:24,334 --> 00:11:25,852
You what?
223
00:11:25,853 --> 00:11:29,732
Don't pretend you don't know.
She'd tell you first.
224
00:11:29,733 --> 00:11:31,412
About her emigrating.
225
00:11:31,413 --> 00:11:35,133
She's not. She is! She's learning
Spanish and everything.
226
00:11:35,134 --> 00:11:36,612
First I've heard.
227
00:11:36,613 --> 00:11:38,491
Well, if she hasn't even told you
228
00:11:38,492 --> 00:11:41,211
there's definitely something
fishy going on.
229
00:11:41,212 --> 00:11:44,493
Have you eaten today? Is there
enough oxygen getting to your brain?
230
00:11:46,573 --> 00:11:50,013
That's my train set.
I can't believe it still works.
231
00:11:51,013 --> 00:11:54,171
It's great, we're just playing
with it. I won't break it.
232
00:11:54,172 --> 00:11:55,813
I didn't mean that, Jack.
233
00:11:55,814 --> 00:11:57,572
I said he could have it.
234
00:11:57,573 --> 00:11:59,013
I don't know about that.
235
00:11:59,014 --> 00:12:00,133
Here it is!
236
00:12:02,013 --> 00:12:03,532
Like the Holy Grail.
237
00:12:03,533 --> 00:12:05,011
What are you doing with that?
238
00:12:05,012 --> 00:12:07,171
We just want
the instructions out of it.
239
00:12:07,172 --> 00:12:10,291
You know that's mine, don't you?
I think you'll find it's mine.
240
00:12:10,292 --> 00:12:11,971
Er, no, Monopoly was mine.
241
00:12:11,972 --> 00:12:15,251
Cluedo, Kerr Plunk -
they were yours. So, really...
242
00:12:15,252 --> 00:12:17,773
When did you last play with it?
That's not the point.
243
00:12:17,774 --> 00:12:21,173
Look, and in tip top condition.
244
00:12:22,293 --> 00:12:24,771
You don't mind if I
have them do you? Well...
245
00:12:24,772 --> 00:12:27,891
OK, if I agree that it's yours,
which I don't, you don't even
246
00:12:27,892 --> 00:12:30,693
need the instructions cos you
already know how to play.
247
00:12:30,694 --> 00:12:32,132
Nice work, Paula.
248
00:12:32,133 --> 00:12:34,573
Please? And then we
can stop all this.
249
00:12:35,213 --> 00:12:38,011
What if Ethan and Melissa
want to play it in the future?
250
00:12:38,012 --> 00:12:40,453
Do you really think
that's going to happen?
251
00:12:40,454 --> 00:12:41,972
What's that?
252
00:12:41,973 --> 00:12:43,813
Is it a game? Can we play it?
253
00:12:43,814 --> 00:12:46,132
Did you pay them to say that?
254
00:12:46,133 --> 00:12:49,373
Why don't we have a game
now kids, hey? Yeah. Yeah.
255
00:12:49,374 --> 00:12:50,892
Heaven help us.
256
00:12:50,893 --> 00:12:53,413
And you can teach them
the rules, verbally.
257
00:12:54,653 --> 00:12:55,893
Just let him have it!
258
00:12:57,933 --> 00:13:00,133
OK. Thanks mate,
I'll make it up to you.
259
00:13:01,853 --> 00:13:03,373
What is this all about?
260
00:13:05,293 --> 00:13:06,933
You don't want to know.
261
00:13:08,053 --> 00:13:10,653
Come on then, kids.
Community Chest on the pink.
262
00:13:12,533 --> 00:13:14,533
Oh, this is impossible.
263
00:13:17,093 --> 00:13:21,932
'I have a table reserved
in the name Wilson.' Oh, really?
264
00:13:21,933 --> 00:13:25,012
Hello? Hello!
Is someone in there?
265
00:13:25,013 --> 00:13:26,892
Yeah, hiya.
266
00:13:26,893 --> 00:13:28,812
Can I help you?
267
00:13:28,813 --> 00:13:32,253
Monopoly? You want Ray,
he's just inside there, love.
268
00:13:32,254 --> 00:13:34,852
Thanks, love. Gracias.
269
00:13:34,853 --> 00:13:36,612
De nada.
270
00:13:36,613 --> 00:13:39,531
It's an interesting environment
to be learning Spanish -
271
00:13:39,532 --> 00:13:41,213
in a garage full of junk.
272
00:13:41,214 --> 00:13:42,492
Yeah, well...
273
00:13:42,493 --> 00:13:43,931
It's the new way to do it.
274
00:13:43,932 --> 00:13:47,373
I am practically fluent
and I've only just started.
275
00:13:53,173 --> 00:13:54,573
What am I doing?
276
00:13:58,533 --> 00:14:01,291
Let's go and ask Nan about Spain.
She'll tell us.
277
00:14:01,292 --> 00:14:04,053
You'd better come soon.
It's all going fast.
278
00:14:04,054 --> 00:14:05,693
Yeah. Ta-ra.
279
00:14:06,773 --> 00:14:09,212
Auntie Mandy, have you seen Nanny?
280
00:14:09,213 --> 00:14:11,333
I think she's in the garage.
I don't know why.
281
00:14:13,773 --> 00:14:16,693
Hiya. I'll just see what's left.
282
00:14:18,693 --> 00:14:23,453
Your dad was always the Scottie dog
and I was always the... Old boot.
283
00:14:23,454 --> 00:14:25,412
Yes, thank you.
284
00:14:25,413 --> 00:14:27,771
Did you play this all
together as a family?
285
00:14:27,772 --> 00:14:31,053
We'd all have tournaments that would
go on for hours and hours.
286
00:14:31,054 --> 00:14:32,852
In simpler, happier times.
287
00:14:32,853 --> 00:14:35,652
Oh, I'm in the jail again.
288
00:14:35,653 --> 00:14:37,651
Why are you always the banker?
289
00:14:37,652 --> 00:14:41,051
It says that in the rules somewhere.
'Pete is always the banker.'
290
00:14:41,052 --> 00:14:42,171
Don't start cheating.
291
00:14:42,172 --> 00:14:44,291
Oh, yeah? And who's
got previous for cheating?
292
00:14:44,292 --> 00:14:45,771
Will yous two concentrate?
293
00:14:45,772 --> 00:14:47,493
It's your go, Auntie Paula.
294
00:14:50,853 --> 00:14:53,611
So, can I have the singing
and ice skating lessons?
295
00:14:53,612 --> 00:14:55,291
Tell you what, you can earn them.
296
00:14:55,292 --> 00:14:57,733
No bad behaviour for a year
and they're all yours.
297
00:14:57,734 --> 00:14:58,932
Forget it.
298
00:14:58,933 --> 00:15:02,853
I can't believe the way you just
crush my ambition just like that.
299
00:15:04,373 --> 00:15:06,773
I can hear her.
I think she's on the phone.
300
00:15:06,774 --> 00:15:10,372
When does the next plane
for Madrid leave, please?
301
00:15:10,373 --> 00:15:13,013
She's getting the next
flight out of here!
302
00:15:13,014 --> 00:15:16,732
Hay tiendas en el camping?
303
00:15:16,733 --> 00:15:19,492
Nanny's speaking foreign.
304
00:15:19,493 --> 00:15:22,532
Is there a shop on the camp site?
305
00:15:22,533 --> 00:15:24,772
And she's going camping!
306
00:15:24,773 --> 00:15:27,013
We've GOT to tell Mum.
307
00:15:28,013 --> 00:15:31,612
It is a collector's edition,
it's never been used
308
00:15:31,613 --> 00:15:33,253
and all original features?
309
00:15:33,254 --> 00:15:37,612
It's all there, in mint condition.
310
00:15:37,613 --> 00:15:41,773
It's never been played with.
Never.
311
00:15:43,653 --> 00:15:46,891
It would have been nice to have
played with it at least once. But...
312
00:15:46,892 --> 00:15:50,533
oh no, "You'll get more for it
if it's never been touched
313
00:15:50,534 --> 00:15:53,092
"and it's still in its box."
314
00:15:53,093 --> 00:15:56,852
But isn't that the point? Eh?
315
00:15:56,853 --> 00:15:58,972
It depends...
316
00:15:58,973 --> 00:16:02,413
Aren't toys meant to be played with?
When you're a kid?
317
00:16:03,413 --> 00:16:07,693
I suppose so...
Not for my dad. Oh, no.
318
00:16:08,613 --> 00:16:10,933
No fun for us.
319
00:16:13,133 --> 00:16:17,693
So these are the...
original instructions, then?
320
00:16:18,893 --> 00:16:24,173
They are. The whole kit
in pristine condition.
321
00:16:28,813 --> 00:16:32,213
We heard Nan on the phone asking
about the next flight to Spain.
322
00:16:33,293 --> 00:16:35,532
Told you.
Maybe you're right.
323
00:16:35,533 --> 00:16:38,851
And she's going camping.
Can I go too? I love camping.
324
00:16:38,852 --> 00:16:41,251
What? She's going to go
and live in a tent?
325
00:16:41,252 --> 00:16:44,131
You know the way this is going
we're going to come home one day
326
00:16:44,132 --> 00:16:47,013
and there'll just be a note on the
door saying, "Gone to Magaluf."
327
00:16:47,014 --> 00:16:49,253
There won't be any of this then.
328
00:16:50,613 --> 00:16:53,131
Ah, look at our old rooms
just sitting there.
329
00:16:53,132 --> 00:16:55,771
I sometimes think it'd be nice
to have my old bedroom.
330
00:16:55,772 --> 00:16:58,891
A room to meself.
I love Mandy and everything...
331
00:16:58,892 --> 00:17:02,531
Oh, yeah. She's so easy to live
with and all that, but...
332
00:17:02,532 --> 00:17:05,733
just to go back to having
me own little den again.
333
00:17:05,734 --> 00:17:07,252
Own little bed.
334
00:17:07,253 --> 00:17:09,811
A proper night's sleep
without Ray's snoring.
335
00:17:09,812 --> 00:17:12,411
Hang on a minute. You can fall
asleep on a washing line
336
00:17:12,412 --> 00:17:14,133
and NOBODY snores as badly as you.
337
00:17:14,134 --> 00:17:17,412
Where do people get this idea
I snore from?
338
00:17:17,413 --> 00:17:19,812
From you snoring.
339
00:17:19,813 --> 00:17:21,572
Three.
340
00:17:21,573 --> 00:17:23,252
Erm, no, that's four.
341
00:17:23,253 --> 00:17:25,332
Oh, sorry, yeah, my mistake.
342
00:17:25,333 --> 00:17:28,813
Oh, well spotted, Ethan.
See what we're up against here, kids?
343
00:17:28,814 --> 00:17:30,292
Cheaters.
344
00:17:30,293 --> 00:17:32,292
An honest mistake.
345
00:17:32,293 --> 00:17:35,813
Oh! "You've won a singing
competition. Collect �100."
346
00:17:35,814 --> 00:17:38,172
Like X Factor! Well done, Dad.
347
00:17:38,173 --> 00:17:39,812
Hang on a second...
348
00:17:39,813 --> 00:17:42,012
Hang on...
349
00:17:42,013 --> 00:17:46,732
"Drunk in charge. �50 fine!"
350
00:17:46,733 --> 00:17:49,293
That wasn't the card.
Pete the cheat.
351
00:17:49,294 --> 00:17:52,332
Pete the cheat! Pete the cheat!
352
00:17:52,333 --> 00:17:54,651
She told me not to ring
the front door bell, but...
353
00:17:54,652 --> 00:17:57,613
I don't know what to do.
Where the frig is she?
354
00:17:57,614 --> 00:17:59,052
Who's that?
355
00:17:59,053 --> 00:18:02,013
Ah, this is ringing now.
This is beyond a joke.
356
00:18:03,013 --> 00:18:06,212
Are you here for the Monopoly?
No, meat.
357
00:18:06,213 --> 00:18:09,933
Oh, there she is! No worries, love.
358
00:18:25,054 --> 00:18:26,532
Oh, Ted.
359
00:18:35,893 --> 00:18:37,292
Meat?
360
00:18:37,293 --> 00:18:39,572
I'm sorry.
361
00:18:39,573 --> 00:18:41,891
I can't believe I've come
all this way.
362
00:18:41,892 --> 00:18:44,851
You've agreed to sell it to me
and now all of a sudden it's off!
363
00:18:44,852 --> 00:18:47,651
I've changed my mind.
It's never been touched.
364
00:18:47,652 --> 00:18:49,171
Games should be played with.
365
00:18:49,172 --> 00:18:50,811
Not if they're collector's items!
366
00:18:50,812 --> 00:18:53,131
You'll never become
a power seller now.
367
00:18:53,132 --> 00:18:56,131
I'm going to post negative feedback.
Please don't.
368
00:18:56,132 --> 00:18:59,453
He did really want to become
a power seller, he did.
369
00:18:59,454 --> 00:19:01,092
I won't...
370
00:19:01,093 --> 00:19:04,052
if you sell it to me as agreed.
371
00:19:04,053 --> 00:19:06,571
I cannot believe that I find
a limited edition
372
00:19:06,572 --> 00:19:08,891
in perfect order with everything
original...
373
00:19:08,892 --> 00:19:12,813
The instructions aren't original.
They're from a more recent edition.
374
00:19:12,814 --> 00:19:15,932
No? Well that's going
in the feedback.
375
00:19:15,933 --> 00:19:18,413
No one's going to buy
from you again. Ever.
376
00:19:18,414 --> 00:19:19,652
Hang on, mate!
377
00:19:19,653 --> 00:19:24,772
Hang on, two seconds. We were
playing with the kids upstairs...
378
00:19:24,773 --> 00:19:27,493
I'll throw in all the veggies
with the chicken breasts
379
00:19:27,494 --> 00:19:30,652
and we'll call it a fiver.
380
00:19:30,653 --> 00:19:32,452
What the hell's this...?
381
00:19:32,453 --> 00:19:34,931
Oh, just getting rid
of some of this frozen food,
382
00:19:34,932 --> 00:19:36,731
make some space in your freezer.
383
00:19:36,732 --> 00:19:38,571
By selling it off in my kitchen?
384
00:19:38,572 --> 00:19:41,453
Yeah, something like that.
How much for this leg of lamb?
385
00:19:41,454 --> 00:19:44,172
That's my leg of lamb. Put it back!
386
00:19:44,173 --> 00:19:46,052
Oh, sorry.
387
00:19:46,053 --> 00:19:47,412
What's going on?
388
00:19:47,413 --> 00:19:49,533
What else have you got? Any steak?
389
00:19:49,534 --> 00:19:52,332
Shop's shut for now.
390
00:19:52,333 --> 00:19:54,691
I've come all the way
from Rock Ferry!
391
00:19:54,692 --> 00:19:57,733
I'll give you a shout
when we're open for business again.
392
00:19:57,734 --> 00:20:00,013
For crying out loud!
393
00:20:02,973 --> 00:20:04,812
Sorry, Eileen.
394
00:20:04,813 --> 00:20:08,451
I just thought I'd get rid of it,
make some extra cash on the side.
395
00:20:08,452 --> 00:20:11,933
Well, I can't do it from ours. Sheena
in accounts lives four doors away
396
00:20:11,934 --> 00:20:14,013
and she's a nosey bugger.
397
00:20:19,333 --> 00:20:21,493
Who's left this on?
398
00:20:23,013 --> 00:20:24,612
That's better.
399
00:20:24,613 --> 00:20:28,533
'Show me it. You're cheating again.'
'No, I'm not.' 'Show it me!'
400
00:20:28,534 --> 00:20:30,532
You're cheating! No I'm not!
401
00:20:30,533 --> 00:20:32,731
Just show it me! I'm not...
Just give it to me!
402
00:20:32,732 --> 00:20:36,133
What are you doing? He's cheating!
No, I am not! Yes, you were! No...
403
00:20:36,134 --> 00:20:38,332
Will the pair of you grow up!
404
00:20:38,333 --> 00:20:40,572
This place is like Hiroshima!
405
00:20:40,573 --> 00:20:43,092
We'll put it all back.
406
00:20:43,093 --> 00:20:47,932
Ethan, will you stop that?
They are your Grandad's records.
407
00:20:47,933 --> 00:20:49,612
Who's that up there?
408
00:20:49,613 --> 00:20:51,733
Oh, Melissa. Stick to the joist.
409
00:20:51,734 --> 00:20:54,572
If you go in the middle you'll...
410
00:20:54,573 --> 00:20:57,092
go through. God!
411
00:20:57,093 --> 00:21:01,772
Right! Right! That is it.
I am sick of the lot of you.
412
00:21:01,773 --> 00:21:04,653
I want you all to clear off!
Now! Get out!
413
00:21:04,654 --> 00:21:06,332
Get out!
414
00:21:06,333 --> 00:21:08,973
Am I in the right place
for the knock-off frozen food?
415
00:21:08,974 --> 00:21:10,852
God!
416
00:21:10,853 --> 00:21:12,613
Melissa!
417
00:21:14,413 --> 00:21:16,533
'Adios. Goodbye.'
418
00:21:17,813 --> 00:21:21,613
Adios. And goodbye... for now.
419
00:21:28,453 --> 00:21:31,251
Maybe we should take
that to the nearly new?
420
00:21:31,252 --> 00:21:33,811
Just get it in the loft.
Or we could do a car boot sale?
421
00:21:33,812 --> 00:21:36,771
They do one at Tranmere Rovers
car park on a Sunday.
422
00:21:36,772 --> 00:21:39,931
If you get there at six, you can get
a good spot. It'd be fun.
423
00:21:39,932 --> 00:21:42,693
Too much fun for me.
Why don't we do Cash In The Attic?
424
00:21:42,694 --> 00:21:44,812
It's all nearly done now.
425
00:21:44,813 --> 00:21:47,652
Oh, hello! I haven't seen it.
426
00:21:47,653 --> 00:21:50,052
No, no. Paula, Paula...
427
00:21:50,053 --> 00:21:52,771
You two aren't going to start
rolling around on the floor
428
00:21:52,772 --> 00:21:55,213
arguing again are you?
We've kissed and made up.
429
00:21:55,214 --> 00:21:58,892
He was cheating.
You didn't need to do this now.
430
00:21:58,893 --> 00:22:02,731
It's all done. I'm surprised Melissa
didn't hurt herself.
431
00:22:02,732 --> 00:22:05,051
Oh, she said she enjoyed it.
She's been wondering
432
00:22:05,052 --> 00:22:08,093
how to work it into an act so she
can go on Britain's Got Talent.
433
00:22:08,094 --> 00:22:10,252
I'll fix the hole.
434
00:22:10,253 --> 00:22:13,932
I'm sorry for earlier, for shouting.
It was just...
435
00:22:13,933 --> 00:22:16,293
We had turned the house
into a three-ring circus.
436
00:22:16,294 --> 00:22:20,532
It just all got too much.
All these random people.
437
00:22:20,533 --> 00:22:23,011
All I wanted was a little
bit of peace and quiet
438
00:22:23,012 --> 00:22:24,893
so I could do me language tapes.
439
00:22:24,894 --> 00:22:26,852
It's fine.
440
00:22:26,853 --> 00:22:29,413
So, when are you going to Spain?
441
00:22:31,533 --> 00:22:34,611
Who told you that?
Well, you're learning Spanish...
442
00:22:34,612 --> 00:22:37,053
and the kids heard you talking
about flights.
443
00:22:37,054 --> 00:22:38,732
And tents.
444
00:22:38,733 --> 00:22:41,692
I just felt like learning
a language.
445
00:22:41,693 --> 00:22:44,411
Maybe I will visit Spain,
maybe I won't.
446
00:22:44,412 --> 00:22:48,211
But I just found the tapes
and I thought I'd give it a go.
447
00:22:48,212 --> 00:22:51,013
I'm not too old to learn
something new, you know.
448
00:22:51,014 --> 00:22:52,452
Well said.
449
00:22:52,453 --> 00:22:55,692
Yeah. Great.
450
00:22:55,693 --> 00:22:59,733
I've made some tea.
All done. You'd never know.
451
00:23:04,053 --> 00:23:05,773
I rustled up some bacon butties.
452
00:23:05,774 --> 00:23:07,013
Oh!
453
00:23:08,213 --> 00:23:09,892
That's more like it.
454
00:23:09,893 --> 00:23:11,253
Listen to that peace.
455
00:23:12,573 --> 00:23:15,973
Wonderful and I found some
lovely flowers as well.
456
00:23:15,974 --> 00:23:19,093
Oh, they're off me.
Thanks. Creep!
457
00:23:20,253 --> 00:23:22,131
I didn't realise how late it was.
458
00:23:22,132 --> 00:23:24,171
I can't be arsed going home now.
459
00:23:24,172 --> 00:23:27,613
Maybe we could have a sleepover? Good
idea. Hey, we could top and tail.
460
00:23:27,614 --> 00:23:29,452
I was joking.
461
00:23:29,453 --> 00:23:32,571
You don't want to stay, do you?
I mean, you can if you want.
462
00:23:32,572 --> 00:23:34,013
I really want to go home
463
00:23:34,014 --> 00:23:37,932
and hear more about the minutiae
of Monopoly and eBay.
464
00:23:37,933 --> 00:23:40,811
And I'd like to see what's
going off in the frozen food world.
465
00:23:40,812 --> 00:23:43,251
Oh, hiya, Mand.
No, still at Mum's.
466
00:23:43,252 --> 00:23:46,371
I think I'll stay over. I don't
think she wants to be on her own.
467
00:23:46,372 --> 00:23:50,491
You what? Shush. No, she's just
feeling a bit... Is that OK?
468
00:23:50,492 --> 00:23:53,573
Thanks. Er, no, I don't want
to speak to Ethan
469
00:23:53,574 --> 00:23:56,852
about the boil on his bum. Night.
470
00:23:56,853 --> 00:23:58,172
Great.
471
00:23:58,173 --> 00:24:00,851
You didn't have to make out
I couldn't be left on my own.
472
00:24:00,852 --> 00:24:03,933
It didn't sound like that.
But happy for you to stay.
473
00:24:05,693 --> 00:24:07,451
I think I'd better text Ray.
474
00:24:07,452 --> 00:24:10,011
Otherwise he might want to join us
with the kids.
475
00:24:10,012 --> 00:24:12,933
This is the best bacon butty
I've ever tasted.
476
00:24:12,934 --> 00:24:15,692
Good bacon, this.
477
00:24:15,693 --> 00:24:19,133
Good job some random woman
didn't disappear with it.
478
00:24:19,134 --> 00:24:21,053
Done.
479
00:24:23,333 --> 00:24:25,772
Oh, that is disgusting!
480
00:24:25,773 --> 00:24:29,653
Mum, tell him to stop it! Hey!
481
00:24:36,013 --> 00:24:37,413
Are you still awake?
482
00:24:38,813 --> 00:24:40,173
Yeah.
483
00:24:41,173 --> 00:24:42,452
Yeah.
484
00:24:42,453 --> 00:24:44,731
Oh, you'll be asleep
and snoring in no time.
485
00:24:44,732 --> 00:24:47,573
Where has everybody got the idea
I snore from?
486
00:24:47,574 --> 00:24:50,132
Because of your snoring!
487
00:24:50,133 --> 00:24:52,613
Shall we make a recording of it
and play it back to you?
488
00:24:54,973 --> 00:24:57,373
Uh-oh! I think we've lost her.
489
00:25:01,013 --> 00:25:04,133
There you go. Right on cue.
490
00:25:05,573 --> 00:25:08,373
Night, Mum. Night night, son.
491
00:25:47,015 --> 00:25:51,565
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