Original subtitles

Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx www.addic7ed.com

Oh, man. This Share the Wealth protest has me all jacked up.

I'd be down there right now

yelling "Eat the 1%" with the rest of my people

if I wasn't in this COVID death window.

Your people?

Your people had kids that had kids that made these people.

Hey, I've never lost my taste for social justice.

I let my freak flag fly.

Check it out.

Three piercings in one ear.

It's kinda hard to see 'cause I let two of 'em close up.

My mother said I looked like a whore.

Hey, I thought someone was going to call the exterminator

to set a trap for this thing.

Come on, Becky. We're sisters, and we're bigger than this.

Forget that I got your pay docked

and come over here and braid my hair, like you used to

at our summer chateau by the lake.

Could you two stop for one second?

Society's problems are a lot more important

than your stupid sibling fights.

I can't hear. Shut up.

You shut up!

Well, I have a different perspective on all this.

As a former magazine publisher

and a proud member of the 1%, I feel that...

[Laughs] Are you out of your damn mind?

You know how much money you have to make to be part of the 1%?

[Chuckles] The "1%" isn't a specific thing, Darlene.

It's just a general idea.

No, it's not. It's an actual number.

The lowest you can make and be a part of the 1%

is $254,000 a year if you live in Mississippi.

[Laughs] You're not even a rich person in Mississippi.

Well, if I ever get back into the 1%,

I'm gonna oppress all you people.

Okay, last call for rent. Come on. Cough it up.

Papa's got his eye on a new fur for the winter.

Thank you.

Are they still protesting?

All that marching around just clogs up the streets

so nobody can get downtown.

Dad, you haven't been to downtown Chicago in 30 years.

Well, now that I can't go, I want to.

Grandpa, they're blocking the streets

to fight a corrupt system

designed to keep the working class down.

Hey.

If you pay Mr. Working Class here the rent,

he can buy me a pound cake we can eat in bed later.

How long you been sitting on that idea?

I haven't been to work yet to get my paycheck. I'll get it later.

But could you guys please stop? I'm trying to listen.

Okay, no. I gotta do one thing first.

I want to see the final round of "Jeopardy!"

Hey!

["Jeopardy!" think music plays]

"Who is Apollo Creed?"

Come on! That's a gimme!

When the corporations start kidnapping all you poor people

and using you to colonize Mars, I'm gonna laugh.

Crap.

That's gonna happen.

3x06 Protest, Drug Test And One Leaves The Nest

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Pounding]

Damn it!

Hey, Becky.

Hey, thanks for the visitor's pass.

Did you sell a lot of sandwiches?

Oh, yeah. Oh, crushed it!

When you've got a building full of depressed people

trying to eat their feelings,

you can charge whatever you want

for a stiffening ham and cheese sandwich.

- You want one? - Sure. Thanks.

[Laughs]

Oh, my Go...

Juanita!

Man, we worked together here back in the day.

Yeah. Online poker.

Still gotta work.

Oh!

Well, this takes me back.

This is where Roseanne and I hid

after we dropped our pants

and pressed ham against the lobby window.

My side of the window was unlocked, and I fell out!

Yeah, I saw it.

We just got off the bus for the school tour

when they did it.

[Laughs] And that's why we did it!

Thanks for that. It made me super popular.

Oh, damn it!

I got to call Beverly Rose.

Lunch break is almost over.

Oh, hey, Emilio.

Hi, Beverly Rose!

Robin.

Becky.

Look, honey!

It's the horrible woman who docks my pay when I see you.

Hi, cutie!

Make better choices than Mommy!

Okay, everyone, listen up.

New policy at Wellman... everyone will be required

to provide urine under supervision

for random drug screenings.

Two questions.

What do you mean "under supervision"?

And do you consider a drug something that grows,

you know, naturally behind your garage?

Supervision means a stranger is going to watch you

take your pants down and urinate into a cup.

Wow. Way to sell it, Robin.

I'm not trying to sell it.

I think it's wrong and I'm not gonna do it.

You all have to do what your conscience tells you.

I'm quitting.

I have enjoyed working with all of you.

Except Becky.

I can't believe Robin's quitting over a drug test.

If I made the kind of money she made,

I'd pop a squat on the pitcher's mound at Wrigley Field.

It's obvious. She's not clean.

Ohhhhhhhh.

What do you think she's on?

Peruvian Marching Powder?

Horse with No Name?

Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds?

Some of that stuff will make you show your ass

and fall out a window, I'll tell ya.

♪♪

Why are you taking back all the twigs and leaves

that help us forget what we're eating?

I'm tired of busting my ass cooking for you people.

Not only do they not appreciate it,

but they complain about them.

The other day, I used peppercorns.

Darlene picked them all out and said,

"Something pooped in my soup."

I understand. We're philistines!

Did I use that word right?

Look, Dan, I gotta go home.

I'm used to living alone,

and there's just too many people here.

I'm in the shower, and Becky comes in to use the bathroom,

and then I'm using the bathroom,

and Harris comes in to brush her teeth.

Did you know that now I'm flossing in the closet

just to get some peace?

Who could I kill?

I'll thin out the herd for you.

[Chuckles]

No, Dan, you know, we talked about this.

You knew I'd have to go home eventually.

Yeah, but I didn't think you'd actually follow through on it.

If I followed through on everything

I said I was gonna do,

I'd be nothing but muscle and we'd be sleeping on gold.

♪♪

Look at that wall of moms out there protecting their kids

at the front of the protest line.

I mean, they're out there taking beanbag rounds to the face,

and you won't even get up to get me a soda.

That's because their kids are out there protesting,

not leading the "occupy-the-couch- and-bitch" movement.

You want me to go out there?

Well, all I'm saying is you're laying there

and whining about us not doing anything.

If this was really that important to you,

you'd be out there with everybody else.

Okay.

Wait. You're really going?

You're right.

I mean, I'm being a hypocrite just sitting there

while everybody else is out there changing things.

All right, well, stay six feet away from everybody,

and if anything goes down,

you just yell "I'm pregnant" and run into a bookstore.

No one's looting bookstores.

See you on TV.

[Door closes]

Wow!

Well, I didn't see that coming.

You actually inspired your daughter

to go out and stand up for what she believes in.

Yeah, that was pretty cool.

I was just trying to make her feel bad.

♪♪

No rush, but could you write me a check for the rent

while I stand here and stare at you?

Already done.

I gave it to Louise

while she was shaving her legs in the shower.

Oh, and, um...

Harris is going to have a problem

covering her share this month.

Why?

Because she texted me this morning

that she doesn't want to go back to work until the protest is over,

and her boss said that if she's not there tomorrow,

he's gonna let her go.

Damn it, Darlene!

You gotta talk some sense into that kid.

Yeah, but, Dad, this is the only time in her life

that she can do something like this.

She wants to have her voice heard, and I-I get it.

- [Exhales sharply] - Look, maybe...

maybe I can cover her part of the rent.

This is all your fault.

You made her think she was special.

Where'd you get that?!

You didn't get it from me. I made a point of never telling

any of you kids you were special.

And yet somehow, we're all successful and happy anyway.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to the Senate.

♪♪

♪♪

I need to talk to you for a minute.

[Door closes]

If you've got a knife, I've got a gun.

I'm not here to stab you, 'cause everyone would know it was me.

[Sighs]

Look, I think I know why you're quitting.

I told you why I'm quitting.

Did you?

Would you say something different

if I told you I'm a recovering alcoholic?

I would say there's no secrets on an assembly line,

and you're the fourth person to tell me that you're a drunk.

Gossip is cruel, but surprisingly accurate.

I'm here because, as much as I don't like you,

if you have an addiction problem,

you need to go to meetings,

and...

I'll go with you if I have to.

[Chuckles] Wow.

Why are you offering to help me?

Well, for one, you're my boss,

and I plan to continue to be a really marginal employee.

That's a given.

And?

And I got pregnant

and had to get sober for my baby.

And I always thought...

if somebody had offered to help me,

I might've stopped sooner.

Darlene's wrong about you. You're okay.

I'm not quitting to avoid the drug test

because I'm an addict.

I'm trans.

Whoa. Plot twist.

Now you get why I'm not comfortable with supervised testing.

I totally get it.

You shouldn't be forced to come out if you don't want to.

Oh, no, no. [Chuckles]

I came out a long, long time ago.

All of my husbands have known.

My friends know, my family knows.

It's the people that don't know and don't need to know.

It doesn't matter to my dry cleaner,

and it doesn't matter at work.

But it's not fair that you have to quit.

It's not worth the PTSD.

That happens a lot in our community.

Movies like "Ace Ventura," where all the men vomit

because they find out the woman is trans,

doesn't make you want to share stuff.

Maybe they were vomiting

because they found out they were in "Ace Ventura."

[Chuckles]

Everybody hates the idea of supervised drug testing.

We'll fight it!

I don't want to.

I fought my battles.

It's taken a long journey to get this freakin' happy,

and it's not worth going back.

I get it.

But you know we're still gonna fight it, right?

How long have you been sober?

Over a year.

Thank you for asking.

I asked because I want to see how stable you are.

I just trusted you with something very private.

Oh, I wasn't that kind of a drunk.

I just slept with a lot of people.

Very little talking.

[Cheering on television]

[TV shuts off]

I'm going.

Look, I left you something in the fridge,

but knowing your family, it's probably just a plate by now.

But... what if I can't sleep?

I'm used to cuddling up with you.

You'll be fine.

Just watch "Shark Tank" and imagine me saying,

"No one would ever buy anything that stupid,"

and you saying, "I'd buy it right now."

I'll text you when I get home.

Ah.

How can I be behind where my parents were at my age?

Mm.

That sounds like a serious question,

and I'd really like to help you out, but...

I got high in the driveway.

When I was Harris's age,

I got to rage against the machine

and try to fix the world.

You know, I was protesting for vegan food in the cafeteria

and I was against female genital mutilation.

Oh!

Who's for that?

I'll give you a hint.

It's not women.

Is it men?

It's men, isn't it?

But that's not my point.

I mean, Harris can't do any of that

because I can't cover her rent.

[Sighs]

I guess I could stop saving for Mark's college

or maybe stop paying the dentist.

I mean, once he finds out he's not going to college,

he's got nothing to smile about anyway.

Oh, let yourself off the hook.

You know, most kids don't get to protest.

You know?

Some kids have to actually work

in those factories that make the phones

so that other kids can find out

what time they're supposed to be at the protest.

Whoa, that's heavy.

Thanks, Spicoli.

All right, I-I gotta go tell her she's got to come home.

Are we gonna get fired for just walking off our jobs?

Hey, not if we all stick together.

This is where they're gonna do the testing,

and they can't do it if we refuse to leave.

You don't even work here anymore.

I want to belong to something! Leave me alone!

Well, I'm fine with protesting,

'cause nobody's gonna see my flower besides my husband.

Thanks for ruining flowers for me, Carla.

Okay, I've never done this before,

but I know if we just stay in here,

production shuts down and they have to negotiate with us.

What's going on?

We can't have this many people in here

at one time during COVID.

And there's gonna be a lot more of us!

You tell your bosses... no supervised drug testing,

no more protests.

I'll tell 'em, but just so you know,

I'm coming back with more security.

Okay.

Don't make it easy for them to drag us off.

Everybody, down on the ground.

This is passive resistance. Gandhi did this.

I saw that movie. He didn't do it in the bathroom!

Come on!

♪♪

Hey! Thank you so much for bringing me the gas mask!

Uh... what are you doing? That's lunch.

I know. I'm a revolutionary now.

I can't have my mom bring me lunch.

Well, there's no caviar in there,

if that's what you're worried about.

Listen.

I know that I encouraged you to do this,

and I am so proud of you for coming out here

and putting yourself on the line for something you believe in.

But...?

No, there's no "but."

And I think it's time for you to go back to work.

[Scoffs] I told you I can't do that.

Okay, well, if you don't contribute to the rent,

then your "Share the Wealth" protest here is gonna be

"Share That Little Tent With the Rest of Your Family."

We'll figure something out,

but I'm not leaving here until it's over.

No, we did figure something out.

We're all paying rent.

Harris, I know it sucks, but poor people

can't afford to quit their jobs to make things better.

Poor people are the ones with the most to lose.

Why shouldn't they be on the front line?

Because we can't take the time off to do it.

In my little story earlier, maybe I wasn't clear...

we're the poor people.

Okay, well, that's your fault.

I mean, maybe if your generation did what my generation is doing,

instead of wearing ironic T-shirts trying to make a point,

then you wouldn't be begging your daughter to pay your rent.

You know what? This isn't about begging.

This is about taking responsibility.

You have a job.

And my generation did stuff.

I tried to go to Lilith Fair.

That was a big old woman thing.

You know, if I was in college, this is what I would be doing.

But I'm not, because I have to work.

You know what? You're right.

Nobody shared the wealth with you.

I'm sorry. But you know what that means?

You gotta work to pay the rent.

And you know what happens if you don't?

You find someplace else to live.

I can live right here.

Great. See you in January.

Don't come crying to me when the wind comes off the lake

and knocks you right off your toilet bucket.

♪♪

- Mind your business! - Not our business!

- It's our business! - Not your business!

Eh, not poppin'.

Come in tomorrow with three new chants.

Ladies, it's David Wellman. I'm coming in.

Look, you all have to go back to work right now.

We want to go back to work, but you have to promise

to let employees take our drug tests in private.

That's right.

Oh, my God. Is that you, Jackie Harris?

I thought you'd be in a cult or a... or a nuthouse by now.

I've dabbled in both.

Look, it's a matter of safety.

Would you want someone who's high

operating the heavy machinery around here?

Okay. I get that.

But we don't need to be violated

by having some creepy stranger watch us.

Would you be more comfortable if it was someone you know?

We're not letting you watch, Wellman.

I guess if we knew the woman.

I'd pee in front of a Christian woman.

Okay, well... how about Becky here?

You all put your jobs on the line for her, right?

[Women agreeing]

I'm honored and humbled by the opportunity.

Thanks a lot.

Good job, Beck.

We did it!

You don't work here.

Whoo!

How'd it go?

I'm the new test monitor.

You don't have to quit now.

Thank you.

Sisters got to hang together.

Get your lazy ass back to work, Becky.

Hope you're happy.

[Door closes]

I just left behind all the people

who are risking everything to make a change

because I had to come back to support my pathetic family.

Well, you did the right thing.

And speaking on behalf of your pathetic family,

we thank you.

What's going on?

Here's your damn rent money.

Hey.

How dare you talk to your grandfather that way.

You pick that up and hand it to him like a person.

He's not my grandfather. He's my landlord.

I can say whatever I want.

It's okay. I got it.

No, Dad, don't. Leave it.

She's an ungrateful little brat, and she should pick it up.

Why? I'm already bailing him out.

He should do something, too.

Harris, pick up the damn check!

Or what?!

Stop it!

Stop it, both of you!

You think I'm not ashamed that I have to ask you?

I hate that I have to ask you.

No, Dad, you do not need to apologize.

Oh, yes, I do.

I get why you're angry.

I'm angry, too.

You want to know why I'm angry?

'Cause your grandmother told me to buy life insurance and I didn't.

If I had, I could just throw my broke ass off the damn roof

and you wouldn't have to worry about anything!

I...

I'm sorry, Grandpa.

I wanna hug you, but...

I don't want to take the chance after being in that crowd.

We'll just pretend like you did.

He's just upset.

And don't worry.

With his cholesterol,

no one would have given him insurance anyway.

♪♪

[Door opens]

Dan?

I'm awake.

[Grunts]

What happened?

I thought you were gonna spend the night at your place.

Damn you, Dan Conner. You're just too cuddly.

Mm.

I needed to hear that. I had a rough day.

Ohh. I'm here now.

You can tell me all about it.

All right, freak show, what's this?

It's a picture of your face on two pillows

that are supposed to represent your body,

and they have perfume and cocoa butter on them

so they'll smell like you.

All perfectly normal.

Stay away from my man!

Gotta tell you, it's kinda hot when you fight for me.

[Chuckles]

Ohh.

I'll cut a bitch.

♪♪

Hey, Darlene.

I saved you a celebratory glass of apple cider.

While you were out sunning yourself on a rock someplace...

we shut down the supervised drug testing at Wellman.

Robin told me. Good for you.

You're not watching me.

I'm not watching anybody.

I'm just gonna say I am.

Ah. That's a relief.

I just got high with Ben in the driveway.

[Laughs]