All language subtitles for Slam (2016)

NETFLIX PRESENTS

A NETFLIX ORIGINAL FILM

[Tony Hawk] I felt the cold wind blowing
in from San Francisco Bay

whip across the top of the vert ramp
as I waited my turn.

I only had a few minutes left
and I decided to try a 900.

EVERYTHING FOR A GIRL

[skateboard wheels rolling on concrete]

BASED ON THE NOVEL BY NICK HORNBY

[low rumbling getting louder]

[older Sam] I'd never managed
to pull a 900 before

and I didn't manage it that time either.

Every time I'd just drop in,
spin, fall, get up,

and walk up the ramp
over and over again.

Nothing.

I wouldn't have given up for anything.

On my twelfth try, the spin was fast,
I had enough height.

I shifted my weight and threw it back.

Then I realized I was rolling up
the other side of the ramp.

After 13 years of unsuccessful tries,
I landed a 900.

Finally.

Everyone freaked out.
I didn't care about the competition.

Skating is not about winning.

Skating is about doing your best
and appreciating those who do likewise.

It's trying a trick, year after year,

and when you pull it off, seeing
the happiness on other people's faces.

I didn't win

and nobody lost that night.

Not bad, Sam. Sounds a bit like
something from the Breeders, but...

Not bad? Are you nuts?

- Who are the Breeders?
- You're so ignorant.

Look them up, but not now.
We have to go.

Are you still going on about that?
I don't feel like it.

I don't feel like it either.

But I have to go. You can
just make an appearance and leave.

Come on. I'm late.

No, because then you try to be funny.
I can't stand it when you do that.

Do whatever you want. I'll manage.

- Wait. Let's negotiate.
- Ah.

I don't go upstairs. You let me borrow
your moped tomorrow too.

- We'll see.
- I get ten euros.

Are you nuts? Five. Come on.

- Five.
- Get a move on.

Okay.

Thanks.

- Will you come up for five minutes?
- No.

Come on. How am I supposed to get back?

A taxi will cost me a fortune.

Someone will give you a ride.

All right.

What if I get molested?

I'll give you another five euros.

Oh, here's our Donatella.

- Her name's Antonella, not Donatella.
- Sorry.

Everyone loves your work.
Let me introduce you.

Excuse me. Dear friend! How are you?

[soft jazz playing]

Do I amuse you?

- No. Why?
- Either that or you're crazy.

There's nothing to laugh about here.

Maybe something funny
popped into my head.

- Such as?
- How do I know?

Lots of things are funny,
aren't they?

You think you're going to score,
don't you?

What makes you say that?

Not one of your muscles is relaxed.

Anyway, you won't.

If you're so bored, why are you here?

- Because I live here.
- Ah.

Couldn't you go out?

No, I'm grounded.
I got a bad mark in Greek.

Where would you like to be?

Sitting on this sofa,
but with nobody else in the room.

That includes you.

- Sorry if I...
- I was just joking.

Shall we go to my room?

Yeah, sure.

I don't even know your name.
I'm Alice.

- Sam.
- Shut the door.

Come.

So you take guys to bed
and then ask them their names?

Ha, ha.

Go on, you choose.

This is about a group of Californian kids
who revolutionized skateboarding.

I've watched it thousands of times.

- It's great.
- Are you good at it?

- I'm okay. I'm no Tony Hawk, but...
- The guy who talks about black holes?

- The one in the wheelchair?
- No, the greatest skateboarder ever.

- I got that. I was joking.
- Oh, sorry.

We could go out one day.

- Don't you have a boyfriend?
- No, we split up three days ago.

We'd been together two months.
As you can tell, I'm a wreck.

- Why did you split up?
- I didn't enjoy having sex with him.

I see.

Alice?

- They're proposing a toast. Coming?
- We'll be right over.

And she had a friend who...

In theory,
I could reupholster her whole house.

I wasn't expecting that.
I'm really excited about it.

And do you know what?
I think we've finally turned a corner.

Where are you going?
The moped's here.

- I know. There's no need to shout.
- Who's been shouting?

I mean, generally. In case...

- How did it go?
- What do you mean?

- Sam! So, you'll call me?
- Yes, okay! Yes.

Bye, Anto!

Bye, Anto? So you knew her?

- Hey, Sam. Why did you stop?
- Hi, Lepre.

I got cold feet.

- I met someone.
- Where?

At a party at my mother's friends' house.

- So she's old?
- No, she's our age.

- Why was she there?
- She lives there.

- At the party?
- No, she doesn't live at the party.

She lives in the house
the party was at.

- She's my mother's friends' daughter.
- Wait a minute.

Okay, okay, I get it. Okay.

Tomorrow, we're going to see a film
and I'm scared of being disfigured.

Why would that happen watching a film?

I'm afraid it'll happen here. I'm afraid
of falling and looking horrible.

I get it.

Anyway, let's face it,
you're not exactly handsome.

So bashing in your face
might be a bonus.

- Thanks, Lepre, you're a real pal.
- I'm here for you, buddy.

- You're so encouraging.
- There you go!

[Tony Hawk] I'll remember the contest I
took part in when I was 16 at Trashmore

for various reasons.

First, because I became the first skater

to win three contests in a row.

But above all,
because I lost my virginity.

I lasted half the time
of a 45-second vert run.

45 seconds divided by two...

22.5.

I'm a really bad student.
I'll quit after high school.

- If I get there at all.
- What will you do?

I've tried everything.
Photography, music, sport...

My parents kept buying me cameras,
fencing equipment, keyboards...

At one point, I got into riding,
but quit before they bought me a horse.

Why do you always quit?

I don't have any particular talents,
so there's no point.

I don't think that's true.
Sometimes perseverance pays off.

Know how often you have to fall
before you manage a trick?

Aside from the fact
I didn't understand a word of that,

my father has already decided
I'll study Law and work with him.

But I'll never get a degree anyway.

- How about you?
- My mother doesn't put pressure on me.

- As for my father...
- What does your father do?

He's a TV engineer.

He and my mother split up
shortly after I was born.

She must have been really young
when you were born.

- She was 16.
- Like us.

What happened to your hand?

It's nothing.
I did it while skateboarding.

I think the film will start soon.

What if we went to my place instead?

[Sam burps]

Sorry. How embarrassing. Sorry.

Where are your parents?

- Wait. What if they come back?
- Exactly. Let's hurry.

[Alice grunts]

Do you have anything?

What do you mean?

Ah, no.

- You didn't bring anything?
- I thought we were seeing a film.

How sweet!
Okay, I'll check out my parents' room.

- Ta-dah!
- Are you sure it'll work?

Why shouldn't it work?

- Maybe it's out of date.
- May 2017.

[Alice pulls zipper]

What is it? Don't you want to do this?

No, I do.
It's just that... I don't know...

- Because your parents could come...
- If you don't want to, you can leave.

Okay.

- I'll go.
- I don't believe it!

Fuck off, then!

You and your damned sense of superiority!

- No, Alice...
- You think I'm too stupid for you?

No, no, no. Not at all.

You're the most beautiful girl
I've ever seen.

- Yeah, right.
- The other day, when we met,

I thought, "A girl like that will
never notice me, unless she's dim."

- Exactly!
- Wait.

Then I got to know you and discovered
you're witty and intelligent.

- So?
- Let me finish.

Let's see if I can explain.

These past few days,
I've done lots of things,

but all I could think about
was you

and how not to mess things up.

And I just have.

But it's because I'm an idiot.

You're perfect. You're fantastic.

I'm the one who isn't good enough.

- What I mean is...
- I get it.

Will you repeat it every now and then?

The condom.

- Everything okay?
- Yes, yes.

[Sam groans]

There.

[Sam breathes heavily]

Would you say that lasted 22.5 seconds?

- What kind of a question is that?
- Please. It's important.

- I don't know. Perhaps even 25.
- Yes!

Perhaps we could invite
your mother round for dinner?

Maybe she could bring her partner?

Oddly enough, there isn't one.

But she's had about ten.

We've a closet that's like a cemetery
for all her exes' belongings.

- Such as?
- Shoes, toothbrushes...

But also useful stuff. There was
an electric razor, sunglasses...

- And the latest one left a crutch.
- A crutch?

- You mean a coat hanger?
- No, a crutch.

- Yes.
- How did he manage to leave?

- I don't know.
- Maybe he limped away.

He sounds a bit distracted.

[Sam] What's up, Lepre?

Listen, Sam. You know your mother?

Yes, I know my mother. Why?

Is she seeing someone at the moment?

- Why do you want to know?
- Just curious.

Just curious? Lepre,
how old do you think my mother is?

How old?

I don't know. 20? 23?

- Let me help. How old am I?
- What do you have to do with it?

I'll be 17 next month. So my mother...

Ah, she's your mother. Of course.
I hadn't made the connection.

Don't worry. It can happen.

But, listen, don't mention it to her.

I don't feel like going out
with someone that old.

- My lips are sealed.
- Thanks. Bye.

- You sure are good company.
- Don't be a pain, Mom!

Why isn't she answering the phone?

Maybe she's taking a shower
or her phone isn't charged.

- Can I ask you a question?
- No.

Are you having sex?

- What about you?
- Me? Have I ever had sex?

Yes, it's happened.
You're the living proof.

- Anyway, it's my business.
- Fine. It's your business.

- You know that having you so young...
- Was the greatest mistake of your life.

Exactly.
We've discussed this a thousand times.

- What a pain!
- Where are you going?

- To the gents. May I?
- With your phone?

No, I noticed immediately that he...

May I borrow the ketchup, please?

Sure. Here.

- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

Thank you.

- Why aren't you replying to my messages?
- Sorry, honey.

My phone wasn't charged,
then I took a shower. Will you forgive me?

Okay. No, don't worry.
That's what I thought.

Listen, I'm having dinner
with my mother. It's such a pain.

- I'll call you later, okay?
- Fine.

- Okay.
- Talk later.

- Bye.
- Bye.

..the relationship with textiles.

Embossing... Anything, really.

Using our hands is a classic,
putting our hands in the paint.

Doing something... Here he is!

Marco, this is Sam, my son.

- Hi.
- Hi. I'm her son.

- And Giacomo, his son.
- Hi.

- Marco's a skipper.
- Ah.

- He sails.
- I know what a skipper is.

- Won't you finish your hamburger?
- No.

You don't waste any time, do you?

What have I done?

Oh, shit! Do you have a condom?

You can just withdraw.

Are you sure?

That lasted almost a minute.

I think that's a record!

[Antonella] I looked for him everywhere
and imagined the worst.

I wanted to die.
I aged two years in a few minutes.

To cut a long story short,
he'd climbed back into the pushchair

and what was he doing?

He was sound asleep.

And she said, "Keep an eye on your little
brother or your mother will go nuts!"

She lost it ages ago.

- What was it like having a baby at 16?
- Who wants some coffee?

I do. But don't press it too much.
Last time, it was disgusting.

It was a complete disaster.
It seems to be some family curse.

I wanted to be an actress.
I was pretty good at it, actually.

Then I opened a corner shop.
She wanted to study architecture.

Now she's painting scraps of material.

As for Sam's father...
He'd never have amounted to anything.

In answer to your question,
it was a big deal.

Do you really want to listen to this?
It's boring!

- Mom, where's the coffee?
- Over there, honey.

No, it's not where it should be.
This place is always a mess!

- [Antonella] It's here.
- He's very argumentative today.

- Where it always is.
- [grandmother] You're a nice girl.

- Thank you.
- [grandmother] What does your father do?

- He's a lawyer.
- Good. Best to have one on side.

[grandmother] Given a choice...

Professor Settembrini is not
a good teacher and neither was his father

who had a degree in Italian Literature
but he taught Math.

I never asked, Sam,
but what are your plans after school?

I've a few ideas knocking around.

You can tell him, you know.

After school,
he wants to spend a year in California.

- How nice!
- In Venice Beach.

- It's where skateboarding was invented.
- How interesting. And then?

Then I was considering Architecture,
because I love art history

and I love drawing.

What does your mother think?

My mother thinks
I should follow my dreams.

By the way, any bequests?

Any objects for the closet?

The exes' cemetery.

Not that I'm aware of.

[Tony Hawk] Suddenly,
I could feel myself suffocating.

Can you help me?

I was too immature to deal with
that kind of a relationship.

No, wait. Let me finish.
I have a test tomorrow.

I wanted to be myself.

I wanted freedom.

I wanted to skate.

[phone rings]

[phone rings]

INCOMING CALL: ALICE

- Hi.
- Hi.

- Remember Marco?
- Hi.

Hi.

He came round to look at my work.

We were having a cup of tea.

Where have you been?

- Has your son ever tried?
- No, he's only eight.

He's never had the opportunity.
You could teach him, or is it too soon?

We were thinking of getting
a takeaway, if you'd like.

Okay. But I'll eat in my room.

- Aren't you seeing Alice tonight?
- Ah-ha! Who's Alice?

His girlfriend.

Is it serious?

- No.
- Very!

- Wasn't it all plain sailing?
- Already using shipping metaphors?

ANSWER ME.
WHERE ARE YOU? ARE YOU DEAD?

WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?
YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE!

I'M DOWNSTAIRS.

[front door buzzes]

Mom, it's Alice.

Tell her I'm not here.

No, tell her I'm ill.

No, tell her I'm on a school trip
and they've taken our phones off us.

Please. Okay?

[doorbell rings]

- Hi, Anto.
- Hi.

Sorry to bother you, but is Sam home?

- He went out this morning.
- I haven't seen him since.

But don't worry. I'll tell him
to call you when he gets back.

- Thank you.
- My pleasure.

- Sorry to bother you.
- Not at all.

Bye.

- Sam, what's going on?
- Nothing.

Nothing.

If you want to leave her,
you have to tell her.

Okay.

Go and entertain Mr Charming.

Fine.

[slams door]

I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU WON'T SEE ME.
I WON'T CONTACT YOU AGAIN.

ONE MONTH LATER

May I come in?

Happy birthday, old boy!

Hey!

- Thank you.
- Blow out the candle!

Since it's my birthday, can I skip school?

It's Sunday. It's 10:00am.

Oh, great!
Can I sleep a little bit longer?

Of course.
I'll call you when it's lunch time.

[phone vibrates]

SEE YOU AT OUR BAR AT 11.
IT'S URGENT!

No.

- Bye, Mom, I'm going out.
- Where are you off to?

Your father's coming for lunch!

- Bye, Mom.
- Bye.

- I love you, Mom.
- So do I.

- Happy birthday.
- Thanks.

- I'm late.
- You got here before I did.

I'm three weeks late.

- Hasn't that ever happened before?
- No.

- Have you seen a doctor?
- What for?

I don't know. Isn't it usual?

No, I think you buy a pregnancy kit.

Ah, okay. And have you bought one?

No. I wanted you to come with me.

Of course I will.

- Have you told anyone?
- Of course I have.

I put posters up everywhere.
Didn't you see them?

So what shall we do, go buy the test?

Okay.

Shall we go tomorrow?

Yes. Let's go tomorrow.

I ran down the stairs,
got to my moped, it wouldn't start.

I went to the bus stop and a woman
told me, "There's a strike today."

"What do you mean?" I stood in the street,
trying to stop cars.

Not one of them stopped. So what did I do?

- You walked.
- Six miles!

- I was at Boccea. Do the math.
- Wasn't it Monteverde last year?

It's always been Boccea. Always.

Monteverde, Boccea, that's not the issue.

We've been hearing
this story for 17 years.

Our hero walked a few miles, while
this poor sap was in the delivery room

pushing and screaming.

- I beg of you!
- All women go through that.

- But nobody does what I've done!
- Others put gas in their mopeds.

- Happy birthday to me!
- My sweetie!

- 17 years ago, you were a little spider.
- A spider? He was a monster!

- I turned up pouring with sweat.
- Here we go again!

- Blow out the candles.
- Happy birthday.

[Tony Hawk] She called me to say
she'd taken the test

and I was going to be a dad.

It was not exactly
what you'd call expected,

but I was happy just the same.

Thanks for nothing!

You were 24 and making good money.
You could afford to be happy!

Know what, Tony? You can go to hell.

[baby crying]

Shit. It's your turn.

What are you doing?
I said it's your turn.

It's my turn to do what?

Are you stupid? Get up!

Are you checking yourself out?

No, no, I was...

What's wrong with you?
Burp him and then cradle him a bit.

[baby stops crying]

[baby gurgles]

Hi, little one.

[Alice opens door]

[baby cries]

[voices chatting]

Oh, good morning!
Do you know what time it is?

Dad was so out of sorts last night
that we let him sleep a bit longer.

How are you feeling?

I don't know.
Or rather, I'm fine, thanks.

- Thanks.
- Ufo was on good form last night.

- Ufo?
- He woke up only once!

Drink up that coffee.
You'll be late for school.

I go to school?

He's asleep.

[baby cries]

What's up? What is it?

Oh, hey, Sam!
What have you been up to?

Lepre!

- How long has it been?
- Ages.

- I have a son now.
- I know you have a son, Sam.

I saw him with your mother the other day.

Of course. But listen, what's his name?

- I can't remember.
- Might it be Ufo?

Ufo! Yes, yes! Ufo!

What kind of a name is that?

How should I know?
Maybe Alice chose it.

Like, you saw a UFO
while you were playing around.

Yes.

Do you really not remember
a thing about your life?

Want to know the truth?

I've been catapulted into the future.

- Oh! How cool!
- Yes, I'm thrilled.

Lepre, I need some information, though.

Anything that might help me out.

- Such as who won the championship?
- Who gives a damn about that?

- You could have placed a bet on it.
- I don't even know if I can go back.

I want to know what happened to me.

To you? Nothing. You had a baby,
you went to live with Alice

and you vanished in a puff of smoke.

[baby cries]

Sam!

Sam! How are you?

What did you have?

Nothing. I'm fine, thanks.

- No, I mean, a boy or a girl?
- Ah. A boy, I think.

Ah! What did you call him?

It's complicated.

Her name is Chiara.

She's adorable.

Sorry to be so abrupt,
but how are things with your girlfriend?

I mean, sexually.

Luisa and I haven't made love
since she was born.

- It's been six months.
- That long?

She won't let me touch her.
If I go near her, she cries.

Other times she just gets angry.

The baby is great, mind.

Do either of you
ever feel a little bit trapped?

What would you advise me to do?

I don't know. I don't know.

[Chiara cries louder]

- All right, sorry. I'd better go.
- Okay.

See you.

[doorbell rings]

- Hi.
- Hello.

Did you forget your keys?

- Is anyone home?
- Yes.

- Daddy's here!
- Mom?

Mom!

What are you doing here? Are you alone?

- Yes.
- Alice?

I told her to go for a walk.
She was exhausted.

Not as tired as you, mind.

How are you?

Fine. A bit tired,

but this baby is my pride and joy.

Want to go to Daddy?

There. Now Granny has to go and wee
for the twelfth time.

What's wrong?

Mom, I need to lie down for a bit.
Will you hold him, please?

All right, let's leave him alone.

[Ufo cries]

Let's go and wee together.

[phone rings]

[phone stops ringing]

[phone rings]

Don't just stand there.
Come and give me a hand.

God, what a situation!

What a klutz!

Thanks.

Want to come along?

Want to come along or not?

[glasses clinking]

There were these kids
who'd sneak into villas

and skateboarded in the empty pools.

Yeah, and they pretty much invented
the future of skateboarding.

But the pools weren't straight,
like this, they were rounded.

What are your plans for later?

- We're leaving tomorrow.
- Ah.

- We're going to Berlin.
- Ah, Berlin is really cool!

Do you know it? Have you been there?

- No, but it must be really cool.
- Yes, it's really cool.

We're going because a friend of ours
has a big apartment and has invited us.

Why don't you come with us?

I just want to know one thing.
Why are you here?

Answer me!

Remember we came here
when I was little?

What the hell are you talking about?

I want to know why you ran away!

Have you spoken to Alice?

I spoke to Alice, to Lepre,

to all your friends!

Nobody knew where you were!

Why was your phone off? Why?

- I lost it.
- You lost it. I was scared sick!

Try to keep your voice down.

He hasn't been charged with anything,
but you'll have to wait.

- Why don't you sit outside?
- Yes, sorry. Thank you.

Well?

Hey!

I don't know, Mom.

I'm unhappy.

Why are you unhappy?

It's not about that argument
with your father, I hope.

- Aren't you used to that?
- No. No, I'm not used to it.

I still haven't accepted your separation.

But we separated ages ago.

Yeah, I know. But it's as if
it had only just sunk in.

I don't know how to explain it, Mom.
I find it strange too.

I knew we'd gone about it
the wrong way.

We went about it the wrong way.
I told him we should seek counselling.

Think he listened to me?
No, he didn't listen.

But perhaps there's still time, no?

So, Sam,
why did you run away from home?

Because, suddenly,

I find my parents' separation upsetting.

- [counsellor] When did they separate?
- About 15 years ago.

- Fairly recently.
- Oh, good, sarcasm. That'll help.

You think it's about our separation?
You think he cares?

He must have done something
he won't tell us about.

Stolen something, taken drugs...

What has he done, in your view?

In my view?

No, you're the one
asking the questions. Ask him.

No, I'm asking you. Everyone
must have a chance to express themselves.

I get it. It's my fault.

See what he's like?
You can't talk to him.

- Then he wonders why his son ran off.
- You're confirming it's my fault.

He and I always discuss everything,
even his girlfriend.

- You've a girlfriend?
- You've a girlfriend?

- Alice.
- We've split up.

- Why?
- We just have.

So there's a connection.
You split up and you run away.

- You knew and you didn't say anything.
- He didn't say they're connected.

Are they, Sam?

I'm not convinced about all this.

I'd get it if you'd hit her.

- Excuse me?
- I'm not saying it would have helped.

I'm saying I'd have understood
the dynamics.

You'd have understood violence against
a woman? Is this what you teach him?

Absolutely not!
Let's try to stay calm here.

- I'm very calm.
- I don't think so.

You've done nothing
but fiddle with your glasses.

- Are you short-sighted, long-sighted?
- Valerio! Enough! Enough!

- I know this girl wants to accuse me!
- "This girl" wants to do no such thing.

I think you have trouble
relating to women.

Are you hiding?

No. I was looking for something.

Alice, sorry for not replying.
I lost my phone.

I took the test. Want to know the results?

I think I already know.

What are you going to do?

Could you try saying "we"?
Even if we split up, this child is yours.

You're right. Sorry.

What are we going to do?

I don't know.

I was thinking of killing myself.

- How are you?
- I'm fine, thanks.

[TV plays]

[Alice coughs and spits]

How are you?

- [Alice's mother] Is anyone home?
- Yes.

- Hi, darling! Hi.
- Ah, Sam. Hi.

Hi.

What's up?

I wanted to talk to you.

It's just that I'm having a baby.

Is this a joke?

No.

- What's he saying?
- How's it possible?

- No, I know. I mean...
- Are you sure?

- Yes.
- What does "sure" mean?

- I took a test.
- I get that. What test?

- They're often wrong.
- I took it twice.

- What are you doing?
- Calling Lusuardi. It's best to hurry.

The longer it drags on...
How long has it been? Two, three weeks?

- The sooner you do it, the better.
- Do what?

- You don't want to keep it?
- I don't know yet.

You, have a baby? Yeah, sure.

- [Alice] Why not?
- Hello.

I'm Mr Covelli.

- May I speak to Dr Lusuardi?
- [Alice's mother] Sweetie.

Your father is simply trying to tell you
that having a child at your age

will change your whole life.

And you have plans.

No, Mom, he has plans.

Fine. Thank you.

["Ode to Joy" plays through phone]

He's put me on hold.
Let's see if he answers.

San Filippo Clinic. Please wait,
we are trying to connect you.

What are you doing?

I want to keep it.

- Whatever happened to "we"?
- Don't be absurd.

- How can you look after someone?
- A lot of girls do.

But not you!
Remember what happened to the goldfish?

That was two years ago.

You can't make a bed, make coffee,

boil an egg.

We gave away the dog,
because you never walked it or fed it.

- How can you bring up a child?
- What happened to the goldfish?

You hate us, don't you?
Is that why you're doing this?

- You know I don't hate you.
- I'm talking to him.

- It's to hang onto her...
- I don't understand.

- Dad, he has nothing to do with this!
- No.

- Okay, he does, but it's my decision.
- What does your mother think?

- My mother doesn't know yet.
- Fine. Let's all go talk to her.

- Dad, please.
- How old is your mother?

- She's 32.
- Christ! When will you all learn?

Hi.

What's going on?

Can we talk?

Sure. Let me get dressed.

No, let's not be formal. Excuse me.

Couldn't you have warned me?

- Take a seat.
- Thank you.

Alice is pregnant. It's Sam's, of course.

And she wants to keep the baby.

[kazoo ringtone plays]

Excuse me. Good morning.
I think that's mine.

Here it is. Sorry.

I'm about to become a grandmother?

Tell me. I'm 32
and I'm about to become a grandmother?

I'm 32 and I'm about...

I realize it's very unpleasant,

but we're more concerned about
Alice's future.

And Sam's doesn't matter?

- He had a future too.
- Had?

Had.

Alice, you've just found out. You can't
be sure you want to keep the baby.

Don't you have to give it more thought?

I want to keep it.

There.

Excuse me.

Here they are. Sorry.

- There. Sorry. Goodbye.
- Goodbye.

[door opens and shuts]

So, what shall we do?

What shall we do?
I don't know. I don't know.

- I must talk to my son.
- No.

From now on,
anything you say to him concerns us.

Excuse me? No, I'll talk to my son
whenever and how I please!

If you think you can come to our house
and listen our conversations, think again.

Now, leave.

[Alice's mother] Let's go.

I'm sorry.

In any case,
I'm sure Sam will do the right thing.

Do you think it's bad luck
or some kind of curse?

A bit of both, I think.

Anyway, this won't ruin your life.

But I ruined yours.

Only for a while.

So when I'm your age,
it will all work out?

More or less.

Then my kid will have a kid at 16.

And I'll be a great-grandmother at 48.
Yay!

Think she'll reconsider?

I don't know.

I doubt it.

Okay, but you're not quitting school.

No, no.

The baby should be born in October.

At least I'll finish the year.

- You piece of shit!
- What the fuck are you doing?

All I did was push him!

You're out. Leave.

Go take a shower.

[whistle blows]

Bye. Go take a shower.

I was in the right.

- Well, you did head-butt him.
- He was just play-acting.

I knew something had happened
with your girlfriend

and that's why you ran away.

You thought I'd beaten her up.

It would have been better.
I'm joking.

I'm joking!

You never know
what you're allowed to say these days.

Want a father-son talk?

- I can provide one.
- Come on, Dad.

- What?
- Can you cover up?

- Do I embarrass you?
- Come on, Dad!

I'll put it away.

What can I say? I made the same mistake.

But I think it's partly our fault.

For years we've told you
that you ruined our lives,

so you decided to ruin your own.

- Are you smoking a joint?
- But you're making a big mistake.

It's your life.
She wants to have a baby and you don't?

- Run for the hills!
- Dad, are you kidding?

I was just playing devil's advocate.

I don't want to look after it, but I must.

Who did you take after?

If I survived it, so can you.

But you have to promise me
something. Come here.

It must be a boy.

- I think it will be.
- Yes?

The heart, the little leg,

the spine...

Did you hear that?

It's a boy.

But why can't I see it?

It's impossible to decipher.
How can you see it?

[singing a lullaby]

Well done!

Well done!
Today there's a special energy.

Hi, everyone.
I'm Davide and Luisa is my wife.

- Hi.
- We're very glad to be here.

I'm Elisa and he's Aldo, my partner.

I'm Sam
and I haven't had a drink in 20 days.

It was just a joke. I'm Sam.

WHAT SHOULD I EXPECT FROM MOTHERHOOD?

I'll consider it.

- What will you write?
- An even closer union with my wife.

Let's get out of here.

- What would you have written?
- I don't know.

But I stole the pen.

[Antonella] I'd like to.

[Alice's mother] Will you come
for a few days?

Have you considered where you'll live
when the baby is born?

- Have you considered it?
- Here.

- Here?
- Yeah.

- Both of you?
- Who do you mean?

- Sam and I or the baby and I?
- All three of you, then. Good.

Sorry, what did you expect?
We're together.

If we can't live together here,
we'll go somewhere else.

We were thinking Sam could live
at his house to begin with.

Of course. If you want me
to be unhappy, let's do that.

Oh, for heaven's sake! Now and then,
rarely, we consider what's best for you.

That's right, rarely. Very rarely.

I must go to the bathroom.
Can you show me where it is?

Don't you know? Oh, yes.

[arguing in background]

Is that what you want?

I'm not sure I have much say.

Don't say that.
Your whole life is ahead of you.

Is that what you thought
when you got pregnant?

I had no choice. Could I run away?

Because men can?

Live at home.
Come here every day, come and visit.

- But you needn't move in.
- Mom, she wants me here.

There's so much to do at night,

diapers, feeds, burps.

Want me to abandon her to it?

Go, before they tear each other apart.

- What is it? It's bitter!
- It's ecstasy.

- Are you nuts? Why didn't you tell me?
- So what?

You're so deep in the shit
you need some distraction.

Thanks.

That's lousy luck. What will you do?

Lepre, this time
I'll do a Miller Flip for sure.

Still practicing Tony Hawk's tricks?
You're so old-fashioned!

Classic, not old-fashioned.

[Tony Hawk] You'd think skaters
are not made to be parents

because of their rowdy reputation,

but it's the opposite.

All the skaters
I know are great with kids.

Maybe it's because we all have
the same mentality.

[young child sings in the apartment]

Hi, Sam.

- Hi.
- Daddy's here.

How did Ufo become a girl?

Ufo? Your big brother's gone
all soft in the head this morning.

- She's beautiful.
- Of course.

- She gets prettier every day.
- Listen, Marco, do I live here?

What kind of a question is that?
Are you feeling well?

If you're feverish,
keep away from Tombolotta.

Tombolotta. Of course.

[electronic babbling]

- Are you going to university today?
- Am I going to university?

- Why are you asking me?
- [Antonella] Sam, it's your phone.

- Okay.
- Your phone's ringing.

- Hi. Good morning.
- Mommy's up.

- Hello?
- I haven't slept all night.

- Can you take him for his jab?
- His jab?

Yes, his injection, his vaccination.
Can you take him?

- Me?
- Yes, you. His father.

- I'll be right there.
- Where are you going?

- Shall I come with Emilia?
- Emilia?

- I can't leave her home alone.
- Ah! No, I'll go alone.

- Take the car.
- The car?

Is this some game? I say something
and you repeat it as a question?

- Marco's car's outside.
- Ah. Okay.

[unlocking beep]

[radio static]

[car alarm sounds]

Hi.

- What are you doing?
- Nothing. Sorry.

Ufo, look who's here!

It's Daddy.

Maybe take him out later.

- What's up?
- No, nothing. I was just looking.

- Okay, I'm off.
- Bye.

- Hello.
- Hello.

We're here for the jab,
the vaccination and the inoculation.

- It's the same thing.
- Oh, good!

- I thought it was odd. He's so small.
- What's his name?

U SANTINI or U Covelli. I think.

- What does U mean?
- It's his name.

- Yes. In other words?
- His name's Ufo.

- Ugo?
- No, Ufo.

Ufo?

Are you sure?

- No.
- May I ask who you are?

I'm his father.

- You don't remember your son's name?
- I'd better come back tomorrow.

Maybe that would be best.

It's nice here, isn't it?

Do you like it?

Mind if Daddy goes for a spin?

- No, go ahead.
- Can I borrow your skateboard?

Sure.

Ufo!

Ufo!

Ufo! Ufo!

You gave me a heart attack!

Don't ever do that again!

Listen.

Ufo's not your real name, right?

- What's your real name?
- Rufus.

- What?
- Rufus.

Rufus?

How can that be?

Hello. Hi, Ufo.

Hello. Is Alice home?

- She's in the bathroom.
- May I?

Yes, come in.

- [Alice] Did he make a fuss?
- No, he behaved.

Good.

Listen, remember he'll be
at your house this weekend.

- All right.
- Good.

Sam?

Are you still there?

- Well, bye.
- Bye.

In you view, how am I doing?
In life, I mean.

You want a score from one to ten?

Seven.

- Seven's not bad.
- No.

What are my failings?

What are you so worried about?

Ufo, university...
What lost me those three marks?

You haven't lost them.
You have yet to find them.

But you have loads of time
and you're doing your best.

That's why I gave you seven.

Let me go see if Tombolotta's asleep.

[phone rings and vibrates]

- Hello?
- [Antonella] You got an average of seven!

- Have you fainted?
- You already told me that.

When? I tried to wake you up,
but couldn't. So I came here myself.

You got eight in History, Italian,
Philosophy and six in all the rest.

Never mind. Do you understand?
I mean, try a little enthusiasm!

Yes, but are we talking about school?
In 2017, right?

Yeah, right. Okay. Go back to sleep.

No, no!

My parents sleep a lot,
did you know that?

We're going out.
How about you? Aren't you?

No. I'm exhausted.
And he has tons of homework.

Of course,
he'll still be at school next year.

- Don't stay out late.
- Bye.

- Bye.
- Bye.

What's wrong?

Listen.

Will you promise me something?

In fact,
let's make a promise to each other.

I don't know if this child
will ruin our lives.

He probably will.
In fact, he definitely will.

But let's never tell him that.

I promise.

SANTINI, come up here.

So, reflecting on the logarithmic curve
and the logarithm's properties,

what condition should you apply
to the logarithm for it to be negative?

Yes. The condition to be applied
to the logarithm is that...

[phone rings]

- It's not important.
- Go ahead. Answer.

May I?

- Yes?
- [Alice's mother] Alice is in labor.

- In labor?
- We're going to the hospital.

- To the hospital?
- Come now!

But I can't.
I'm in the middle of a math exam!

- Have you lost your mind?
- SANTINI, go!

- Can I really go?
- Oh, for God's sake! Hurry! Go!

- Go, Sam!
- Good luck, Sam!

Go on, Sam!

- [Alice's mother] What are you doing here?
- You asked me to come.

- Go inside, then!
- Ah, yes.

- The contractions!
- Do they hurt?

- Time them, you idiot!
- Ah, yes.

- Put some music on.
- I made you a playlist.

[rock music plays]

Turn that shit off immediately!

How long has it been?

- A minute, I think.
- You think?

- I can't remember what time it was.
- You can't, you shit?

Sorry. I got anxious and lost count.
I'm sorry.

There. There.

It's passed.

I'm sorry.

I'm so glad you're here.
I'm completely terrified.

I put some music on.
It was like a morgue in here.

[swing music plays]

How are you, sweetie?

And you?

Well done. Push. Then rest a bit...

[Alice groans]

Well done! Push. Good.

One more push. Good. Well done.

One more push and it's done.
Come on, one last push.

Come on, push! Good!

Well done! Here he is...

Very good!

[baby cries]

Here he is!

Mom, who is singing?

I don't remember.

Mom!

- Oh, my! How are you, sweetie?
- I'm fine.

You beauty! Oh, gosh, look at him!

He's your spitting image!

- His name is Rufus.
- What?

Yes, because when he was born,
someone by that name was singing.

It could have been worse.

He could have been called Eminem or Bono.

Rufus SANTINI. It sounds really weird.

- Rufus Covelli sounds better.
- Maybe this isn't the best time.

I think we all want to give this child
the best possible start in life.

In what sense?

If he were a Covelli,
he'd have better chances in life.

No offense.

Here's Grandad. Here's Grandad.

Hi, everyone. How are you?

- I'm fine.
- Oh, look at him!

He looks just like you!

- And what's this gorgeous baby's name?
- [Alice] Rufus.

- Excuse me?
- His friends will call him Ufo.

- Ufo? I like Ufo.
- Rufus Covelli? Are you all mad?

His name will be Rufus SANTINI.

[Rufus cries]

[Rufus stops crying]

[Valerio] Which one do you want?
Which one? Look at him reach out.

They'll think we're a gay couple
who've adopted him.

- He's so cute!
- Isn't he?

- How old is he?
- Two months.

- Four.
- Four, four.

- Is he a good boy?
- Yes, he doesn't bite.

- I'm the grandfather.
- Really?

Yes.

- Congratulations.
- To you, too.

- Bye.
- Bye.

Nothing like a kid to pick girls up.

- I'll lend him to you, if you want.
- You mad? You need him more than I do.

- I already have a girlfriend.
- Come on, you know perfectly well.

- Know what?
- That the relationship's doomed.

Oh, thanks.
As if things weren't already hard enough.

It's not hard, it's impossible.
You can't share a room with an infant

without both becoming paranoid.

Your mother and I
were like brother and sister.

And not even the incestuous kind.

[computer game beeps]

Sorry.

We spent our time
looking at this thing.

- "This thing" being me.
- Exactly.

It was endless. Did he eat?
Did he take a shit? Is he breathing?

After a while,
we couldn't even look at each other.

Because when you're my age and an adult,
this kind of thing can work.

But at your age, relationships last
five minutes and with a child... three.

Well, I'm not like you.

Play.

Kill the bastard.

How hard is it to put it
in the laundry basket?

Hey! I'm talking to you. Hey!

- I'm trying to study.
- Of course, because he goes to school.

You don't care if I've missed a year,
if my whole life is spent stuck here.

Do you care? No! You don't give a damn!

[Rufus whines and starts crying]

- It's your turn.
- It's your turn.

There's sick on your sweater.

We'd run out of ointment.

Are you sick?

I just have a slight cough.

- How's Ufo?
- He's asleep.

- Perhaps you should stay away from him.
- Yes, you're right.

Shall I sleep in the living room?

No, don't worry about it.

Maybe I could go home for a few days,
until I'm better.

Yes, it might be best for you, too.

It'll be more peaceful.

He's free. He left.

So can I go too?

- Hi, Mom.
- Hi, son.

Goodnight. I'm going to bed.

[Sam coughs]

Does your dad
have anything to do with this?

What do you mean?

You see him
and suddenly you move back in.

Mom, I'm sick, don't you believe me?

You mustn't pay attention to him.

All he said was that
I didn't have to stay with Alice.

Of course. That's what he did.

That's what you told me to do, too.

- Yes, but I said it as a mother.
- And he said it as a father.

No, as a man. It's...

Okay, anyway, you're just here
because you have a cough, right?

[Tony Hawk] I knew that
even though I still loved Cindy,

we lived in two separate worlds
that were not uniting.

In September of 1994, we split up.

Unfortunately,

it took this event to make us both realize
the importance of parenthood.

[Alice cries]

Where's Tombolotta?

TWO YEARS LATER

There she is! Good morning!

- Are you going to university today?
- I can't.

I have to take Ufo somewhere.

- Yes, the jab. Sure. I'll take him.
- [Alice] Thank you.

Hi. He's Rufus SANTINI.

- He's two and a half. He's already had...
- Yes. Fine. First floor, room seven.

- Thanks. We'll have a little jab.
- No!

- But all the kids have one.
- No!

- Don't be like that.
- No!

- Ufo! Ufo, stop running!
- No!

- No!
- Where are you going? Ufo!

Where are you going?

- Is he with you?
- Yes, thanks.

- Is he your little brother?
- He's my son.

- Ah.
- Haven't I seen you before?

Oh, yes, I know who you are. Wait.

Every time I see it,
when I feel sad, it cheers me up.

Ah.

Come on, Ufo, shall we have this shot?

- Where are you going? Ufo!
- No!

Ufo!

- Good morning.
- Good morning. Hi, Ufo.

Go have a snack.

- What do you want?
- To say hello.

Can't you wait until I'm dressed?

What's the problem?

- Is this your way of checking me out?
- Don't be ridiculous.

- I've better things to look at.
- Meaning?

- Nothing.
- Are you sleeping with someone?

- No, of course not.
- You're a shit. Get out!

- That's not it.
- You've better things to look at?

So go to her and have a good look!
Thanks to you, I look like a dog!

- But you're beautiful!
- I look like shit.

Don't be ridiculous.
You've never been more beautiful.

- A condom.
- A condom.

- [Alice] May 2017.
- [Sam] Still the same ones?

[Alice] After all,
milk is okay after its sell-by date too.

[Alice and Sam kiss]

- [Sam] Are you sure they won't come home?
- [Alice] No.

Alice, I know it didn't go too well.

Well, as usual.
A minute, a minute and a half?

No, silly.

I meant, between us.

But perhaps now that Ufo has grown up,
it'll become easier.

What are you trying to say?

I don't know. We could try again.

So soon?

No, let's wait for Ufo to get his degree.

I'm just saying you seemed happy
when you went away.

I'm happier now.

[door opens]

Get out!

Get dressed!

See you Saturday.

- Sam, I think...
- I know.

I know.

It's not fair, though.

No.

Listen, Alice.

Even if I still
love you, we live in different worlds.

I don't want us to part badly.

We must try to give Ufo
the best life possible.

We must do our best
to make things easy for him.

Where did that come from?

From Tony Hawk.

It seemed a bit much, coming from you.

Bye.

Yes!

Yes!

Yes!

Tony.

[phone beeps]

Who is it?

ALICE: WHERE ARE YOU?

Alice.

- She wants to know where I am.
- Reply to her.

Yes, sure. What shall I say?

That we're on our way.

Yes, right.

[car horn beeps]

Can you reply, please?

Where am I going?

- [Martina] Come on, get going.
- [Sam] Ah, yes.

You chose a beautiful spot.

Look!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

If I'd been a little girl,
I'd have loved this place.

There's everything.

- It's great.
- Really perfect.

Ah, there's my mother. Hi, Mom!

- Hi, how are you?
- Have you met...?

- Are you joking?
- Hi, Antonella.

- [Antonella] How are you?
- [Martina] Very well.

This is for Ufo, when he arrives.

There he is.

It's your birthday!

And today you are...?

No! You're already four?

Hi, Sam!

So, will you join us or not?

- Five-a-side football.
- Oh, sure.

- No, I mean, no. I'm crap at it.
- Come on, last time, Federico played.

- Remember Federico?
- Fine, I'll leave you two to it.

Federico doesn't even know
what a ball is. You'll be fine.

We're short one player, just one.
So, please.

[Tony Hawk] And so here I am.

A few marriages, a blended family,

a successful career as a skater.

But I feel just like I did
three decades earlier,

a scrawny kid with torn pads,
watching the other skaters with awe.

And just like then,
I feel inspired to move forward,

to improve.

The cake.

I'm exhausted,
but have you seen how happy Ufo is?

Your father gave him a Roma jersey,
a Roma bathrobe.

He wants to turn him into a hooligan.

What's up?

Nothing.

Are you sure everything's okay?

Why didn't you reply?
I thought Martina had found out about us.

- Martina?
- We're risking a lot, you know.

BANG, THROW, HURL

IN COMICS: NOISE OF A DOOR
CLOSING VIOLENTLY

IN SKATEBOARDING:
A BAD FALL AFTER AN ACROBATIC TRICK

We really set a record there.
Three whole minutes!

And no condom.

Subtitle translation
by Marisa Castle de Joncaire