Original subtitles

Last night I relived our story. Some day I'll write it

Muriel thinks it might help others

mother...

well, Claude?

I was waiting for you

can't you introduce yourself?

Mother's spoken of you

and of you, too

do you like Paris?

Yes, I find that...

Paris is... I like the Parisians

and the English?

They're less lively, less open...

but logical and imaginative in their way

you're not shocked by the french?

Not shocked, but surprised

they lie more than we do...

but once you know the odds, it's fine

so you've met?

A pity that Claude...

isn't well enough to show you Paris

but come see us often

you two should speak English

Claude needs the practice

she raised her veil. Claude thought of chaste and pleasing nudity

he noted in his diary...

that she was his age and seemed sensitive yet sensible

their mothers had been childhood friends

Anne visited Claude often

they exchanged books and ideas...

with the ease of old friends

Anne wanted to be a sculptress

she "discovered" Rodin, then unknown in England

Anne spoke of a sister, Muriel... 2 years younger...

she found a photo of Muriel, aged ten...

round face, prim mouth, clear brow...

and a shy, untamed look

"come see her," Anne said

"I'd like to hear you two talk"

you don't need that any more

give it to me!

So Claude went to visit the browns in Wales

his mother raised no objections

what's going on?

It's our neighbour, Mr flint...

his boat was stolen today

he refuses to sign a complaint

he says the thief's need is greater

admirable!

A rare attitude around here

I'll show you the house

I share this room with Muriel...

and that's our mother's room

here's your room

very nice

- I'll help you. - Very pretty

unpack... you'll meet mother later

you'll see Muriel tonight

Claude felt Mrs brown's reserve

Anne had talked about him...

but Mrs brown would judge for herself

Muriel did not join them

she'd strained her eyes

they ate almost in silence

Claude stared at the empty chair...

Muriel's chair

the next day they took easels...

and went to the cliff to paint

what a pity Muriel can't be here!

Dinner's ready

I'm coming

Muriel's dining with us...

but don't look at her yet

Anne's spoken of you

and about you, too

good trip?

Fine. I wasn't even seasick

"I wasn't even seasick!" You sounded like a little boy

as a child, Muriel would come from the dentist...

and we'd ask if it hurt. She'd say:

"No, and I didn't even cry"

dear mother... I finally met Muriel

she's smaller than Anne, with red hair

her eyes are bandaged

she lifts one edge to see her plate

her voice is low and husky

it matches her shy, untamed look

her hands are soft to look at

have Anne and Muriel deserted you?

Anne's working and Muriel was tired...

so I went for a walk

Claude found a book in his room...

an anonymous gift

"Eureka" by Edgar Allen Poe

may I see you?

I'll be right there

I want to talk as we did in Paris

I don't know how to tell you this...

just say it

it seems I brought you here for nothing

mother's angry with Muriel, it spoils everything

I hadn't noticed

Muriel damaged her eyes working at night for her professor...

on a book, I think

mother says she should've asked her...

that she mustn't hide things

Muriel admits she's at fault...

but says you have to take risks in life...

and shouldn't always have to consult your mother

the entire household is upset

and also...

she didn't go on

Claude wanted to take her hand

he imagined her distant voice saying...

"and also... kiss me"

he tried to erase this frivolous though

you haven't told me

how do you like Muriel?

I don't know her yet. When I see her eyes...

when you do, everything will change

'who muddies my water, who makes so bold? '

'Growled the wolf, stern and cold'

'you'll be punished for this feat! '

'Sire' the lamb did bleat...

'I pray your majesty, scalm your rage'

'consider that I assuage my thirst... '

the 3 became inseparable

Claude liked their lack of vanity...

they never spoke ill of anyone

Muriel now wore dark glasses

her expression was still hidden

she took up tennis again

she was quick and supple

walking home, Anne went ahead, hips swinging

Mrs brown had made the girls read...

"Les miserables" in English

Anne could quote Verlaine. Muriel, only the bible

Claude attacked Muriel on this point. He persisted...

then grew uneasy

did I shock you?

On the contrary, I'm grateful

you talk a lot but we need shaking up

you help me to think

I'm slow...

we must go in

dear mother, I begin to know Muriel

she's not yet as Anne described her...

but she's convalescing

my adopted sisters call me "the continent" which sounds wrong

I prefer their "bonjour la France!"

They played silly games...

Claude always lost

he told them

that suicide wasn't a crime in France

"all France would be in jail, since everyone has tried it"

"even you?"

"Yes, of course"

he would tell all, after changing places

I'd rather not be between you

I like to be able to look at you

I was 15 when I decided to die

I locked my bedroom door...

and put an alcohol burner under my bed

I lit it and then lay down...

calmly

I took a razor...

and carefully slit my wrists

the blood spurted out...

I fainted...

and woke up in my mother's bed

my wrists were bandaged and mother sat near me

the doctor was there, very stern

the bed didn't burn well...

and the cook saw smoke coming from under the door

your mother?

Never said a word

good for her

how tall was your building?

Six floors, I think

nice funeral pyre

you were dying for a dream...

but you could've killed...

children on the floors above

I didn't think

now how do you like Muriel?

She's perfect in her way

is that all?

So my lightning-bolt didn't strike

I'll have to leave you two alone more often

here she is...

they came back...

on foot

they stopped by a river full of torrents

they decided the tumbling water was like Anne...

the eddies like Claude, the peaceful pools like Muriel

he felt at home with them

he wrote about them in his diary...

watching them was better

I could go on about them for pages

I'd rather just watch them

little by little...

Muriel starts to be, as Anne predicted...

in "first place"

they laughed while Claude watched

Mrs brown was like a ball being pushed to and fro

suddenly he was a pawn in a strange game

squeezed between the girls...

he didn't dare breathe

he'd never even touched their hands

now their supple backs...

thrust against him

it was like an indiscretion

Mrs brown laughed... he saw she had once been pretty

"...and they called this game..."

"the citron presse"

"they're superior to the french girls I know"

"they've become my sisters"

"what are they like?"

"First... my sister Anne"

"I lend her books I like..."

"she doesn't like them. We argue..."

"then she laughs and says she's just an ordinary girl"

"Anne considers Muriel far above her"

"Muriel's no prettier, she's different"

"when we climb the cliffs..."

"she's like an Anglo-mountaineer..."

Anglo-mountaineer?

"Swinging her hips vigorously"

"it could seem provocative..."

"but she is so pure"

"Muriel... is purity"

he's in love with her

in love with whom?

With Mlle Muriel

in love with Muriel?

Ridiculous! He loves them both

go on!

Coming?

Not today

- I'd rather not. - I insist you come!

I insist I stay!

Have a nice walk

your English won't improve

you must talk to other English people

I can only talk to one at a time

once there are two...

they get together and ignore me

I find the English argumentative...

disdainful, insensitive...

and unimaginative

and you're blunt and over-confident

you don't know life

and you do?

For instance love... physical love

the only love is true love

which is physical love

you talk too much

a continental gentleman would notice...

that his islander audience was tired

I'm not hungry

she led him along, as Anne had done

the same situation, a month later

the sisters were so alike, yet so unlike...

he marveled that they treated him as a brother

Muriel stayed in her room for the next 2 days

Claude didn't believe she was really ill

had he offended her somehow?

He couldn't read, or think of anything else

he thought of Muriel

I heard you. You're not sick?

I'm not sick, I just couldn't sleep

I was thinking of you

you mustn't think of me

why are you angry with me? What have I done?

I'm not angry... I'm afraid

afraid?

Whenever I say I'm afraid...

you always ask: "of what?"

Maybe "afraid" has another meaning in french

even when I thought you were angry...

I couldn't criticize you...

you must criticize me!

Friends must criticize, not flatter

spoil me and you'll spoil everything!

Goodnight, Claude

why do you touch me?

Because you come from the earth... I like that

we must go to sleep now

we have some questions about...

you say it, Anne

but I don't know what...

yes, you do, remember?

Of course...

how mysterious!

We're curious about... scarlet women

good lord!

Well, I'll do my best to answer you

it's a recognized profession in France?

It's under police supervision

the girls are examined monthly

how horrible!

There are special houses...

you mean brothels?

You know that word?

We had 6 near our military camp

did you go?

I visited the one considered to be the best

officers, civil servants and townsmen used it

the stairs were screened to preserve privacy

good idea

inside, it was impeccable...

the girls modestly dressed

I said I had come to talk

an attractive woman said...

"fine, I'll call madame"

the woman in charge

a plump, respectable-looking brunette

she had an anisette with me

I praised her well-run house

she thanked me

I got her going on her work

she felt part of the community...

as much as the mayor or the colonel...

both of whom were customers

"we contribute to public health..."

"and family well-being"

"I don't allow disease or scandal"

a conscientious woman

she thought she played a useful role?

Absolutely

incredible!

But who are we to condemn her?

One day maybe you can take us

we want to see for ourselves

take you? Yes, maybe

why not, in fact?

Our education glosses over certain essentials

for example...

I didn't understand "virgin" until I read germinal

do you agree?

To choose between 2 things, you must know both

I can't choose vice or virtue...

knowing only virtue

Anne thanked him...

"you shake us out of our complacency"

they bicycled back home

Claude liked the back of Muriel's neck...

he could stare at it unseen

mother wants you

after dinner?

You'd better go now

I have two things to say...

the first is this...

I admire your mother

she's my friend, she has great character

having lost her husband even younger than I did...

she never remarried despite many chances

the second thing is...

I've heard about a conversation here late at night

luckily it's thought Anne was there

Anne tells me she was not there

I trust my girls and I know you're a gentleman

they have advanced ideas that I don't share

the ideas have grown since you came

they've explained them

though I've tried, I can't approve

these ideas lead to a freedom of behavior...

which has aroused comment

from a purely practical standpoint...

a girl must do nothing to arouse comment

her reputation will suffer

I asked Anne how she stood with you

had there been any hint...

of an inclination...

or intentions? She said no...

and I believe her

I asked her about you and Muriel. She gave the same answer

she finally said...

"I think Muriel and Claude..."

"have some feeling for each other..."

"but they don't know it yet"

in my day we knew those things

therefore I must ask you...

no... come with me

I must ask you to stay with our friend, Mr flint

that's his house there

I also want to say this...

if Anne's prediction comes true...

if one day a stronger feeling grows...

between you and Muriel...

and you both deign to recognize it...

I'll not be against it, personally...

though I have my doubts about international marriages

in Claude's confusion, one thought stood out...

Muriel might yet fall in love with him

Eros took possession of Claude's heart

he was too busy dreaming of her...

to mope over not seeing her

he now had one goal: Muriel

in his room at Mr flint's...

Claude couldn't sleep

he thought: Anne has pledged me to Muriel

there must be a reason. This love isn't hopeless, after all

I loved Muriel but I wavered...

thinking she couldn't love me

what Mrs brown had done...

was to open a door for Claude. He must rush in...

risking all for Muriel

Muriel, your stern face...

so relaxed when you smile, is engraved in my heart

each day is a milestone

I see you in our home with our child

this image absorbs me

I must earn a living

that takes precedence over the books I want to write

Mr flint's company needs a man...

to handle french correspondance

I'll apply. I'll adopt your country...

I love you, I want you for my wife

a letter for you

Muriel's answer?

I'm afraid to open it

you know what it says?

Claude, you don't know me. I'm a simple girl

my family is enough for me

don't be hurt. Tell yourself...

"she doesn't love me, nor I her"

"we're brother and sister"

I'll never be your wife

poor Claude

it's my fault

I started all this

you're not to blame. Anyway, I must leave

I don't believe everything Muriel says

I don't want to give you false hope...

but maybe she doesn't know her own mind

I admire her letter

I aimed too high

I must lower my sights...

and destroy this love

you're wrong

if I were you, I wouldn't destroy my love

Muriel can change... yes

come see us tomorrow

no, I won't come

you'll come

Claude, I adore you...

Claude, I want to be honest with you

when you asked me to marry you...

I found it incredible

I replied: "no, never"

is that "never" engraved in your heart?

I must keep you informed, right?

I still say "no"...

but I withdraw the "never"

I'm like a river that rises and falls

that's why I can't answer you now

then there's hope?

A beginning of hope

good...

may I tell my mother?

Yes, if you feel the need

no, Claude, don't say any more...

don't add anything

mother, I love Muriel

I waited to tell you until there was hope

I think you'll be pleased. Muriel resembles you

Mrs brown distrusts such marriages...

but leaves Muriel free

we await your arrival

it all happened so suddenly

I'm not afraid of losing you, I'm worried about you

how will you live...

and on what?

Like you, Muriel wants me to write

but I prefer a steady job, perhaps...

with Mr flint

you're not well yet

I'm sure Muriel has many good qualities

but for 3 years she has had to care for her eyes... you told me so!

You were pushed into it

you wouldn't have thought of it

when your father died, I raised you

my monument... I raised you stone by stone

Claude's mother was firm. She'd never felt physical love

to Claude, this explained her hostility

hoping to reconcile the irreconcilable

Mr flint was asked to arbitrate

we're here to discuss a marriage

I have heard...

the pros and cons

the girl's mother...

asks that the matter...

be decided quickly...

one way or another

the young man's mother...

thinks their state of health...

makes the marriage impossible

after reflection...

I propose the following

out of respect for their mothers...

Muriel and Claude will separate for a year

during that year they'll take care of themselves...

conscientiously

they'll neither see nor write each other

what we ask of them is a sacrifice

but if, after a year...

they wish to marry...

or resume their friendship...

neither mother...

not Claude's...

nor Muriel's, will stand in their way

Claude's mother knew a lot could happen in a year

the youngsters found it inhuman...

they longed to be together

it won't be difficult, if we're brave

Claude, look at me

I have an idea

let's both keep diaries to send each other

what if one of us had died...

god be with us!

I just took communion for Claude

I don't know what it means, but it was for him

if I wanted to get pregnant, I wouldn't know how

if Claude still loves me in a year...

I'll say to him...

"I'm yours, do with me as you will"

if he were a pirate and abducted me...

I'd go willingly

Claude thought: My last summer with mother before I marry Muriel

he was overly attentive playing the role of "good son"

like David Copperfield, he'd never known his father

his mother told him...

of their courtship

his mother died

the day after the funeral...

he asked my mother for my hand

then he came to me

I said: "wasn't it arranged?"

He said: "that's true"

he courted me, not with flowers but with beautiful books

we married very quickly

he was 31 and I was 23

we lived near the Luxembourg gardens

then I was expecting you

Sundays, tired by my pregnancy...

I wanted to sit in the park

Pierre would say:

"Let's visit the Louvre so our son will love art"

we'd hire a carriage and go

a collector had asked Claude...

to select some paintings for him

a modern art exhibit was opening in London

he resolved to go without his mother

she was worried about him seeing Muriel

you won't try to see her?

No, mother, a promise is a promise

Muriel! Come back...

Claude, I was told you were in England

were you in our town?

On our street?

I'm afraid to meet you...

yet my eyes seek you

my friend Claude, do I love you?

Not at all!

If we met, I would say...

"you're no husband for me"

you've never courted me

you forced me to fall in love with you

that's all... goodbye, Claude

I don't love you

on his return, his mother said...

he should manage their property

he took charge of the 3 buildings inherited from his father

a nice view...

yes. It's a bit dirty... but it could be fixed up

it'd be a charming place

perfect for a bachelor

in one of the buildings a garret flat was free

he decided to move in

an article about women painters brought Claude a thank-you note

he visited the sender. Her studio was unusual

you know we almost met before...

at Massoulier's on Friday

yes, I was there

I came at midnight. You'd just left...

like Cinderella

doesn't that bowl you over?

Pretty, aren't they?

Want to see all of me?

It's very...

no compliments are necessary

come, I've work to do

we could meet somewhere quieter sometime

fine... gladly

why not tonight?

Tonight? Yes

why put off today's follies until tomorrow

see you tonight

as you were before, girls

don't forget to raise your head

that way, your hat...

perfect... you're lovely

this is Monique de Monferrand

my mother...

see you on Friday?

No! Georges will be back... I'll write

let's hear your criticism

no criticism... on the contrary

I'm surprised the place can look so good

lovely...

quite lovely

you're writing to Muriel?

Yes and no...

that is...

here, read it

you win... it only took 6 months

go on, read it

"dear Muriel... I must live my life... alone

"I won't get to England for a while

"I'll travel in Europe, see painters...

"write about them, do translations

"I must live without wife or child

"this should relieve you

"I have women friends...

"but I shall not marry

"I can live without my sisters but they won't be forgotten or replaced

"we'll write each other sometimes...

"but for your sake, we must say farewell

"your brother, Claude"

but don't ask me to be your sister!

"Women friends...!"

Dear Claude...

your answer is no, mine is yes

we change places, as in musical chairs

you no longer want me to love you

if you came, you'd see how much I'd love you

so would Anne and mother

they would try to influence you

if you came, my love would reawaken yours

you mustn't come

had you opened your arms...

as one day you will to another...

I would have run to you, trembling

it is not to be

never think that you have hurt me

it is enough that once you loved me

I collapsed on my bed, crying and calling you

she didn't send it nor the others she wrote later

did he suffer when he destroyed our love?

Do men often lead women to want them...

then say "no, thank you"?

"I am your sister"

I still have prayer

Claude, I pray for your purity

your ideas about women will change

if you love another, it will be all right

love doesn't complicate life...

but the uncertainty of love

I am without hope

I only know I must hold on... it's vital

I must hold on!

Life is made up of pieces that don't fit

I want all of Claude, or nothing

if it's no... let it be like death

it's Muriel's answer

read it... I want your opinion

"dear Claude, I'm glad you wrote me...

"thus ending a misunderstanding and a false situation

"it's best to renounce the marriage immediately

"Anne and I will always be your friends

"the garden is superb

"we're going to London to see the new plays

"regards from my mother. Your sister, Muriel"

an excellent letter

I knew she was a sensible girl

are you reassured? Happy?

You're not happy?

Yes...

you took this on deposit?

The two of them

but this one's going back to the gallery

time passed...

Claude had not become an author...

but he wrote articles about art

his mother condoned his affairs...

many women were less threatening than one

he forgot his "sisters"

in Wales, Muriel slowly recovered

at times she went to bed saying...

"today I didn't think about Claude"

did you know Anne brown was in Paris?

Her mother wrote me

you didn't tell me

it was part of our agreement

but it's Anne... not Muriel

it's the same thing

I'll write her a note

instead of writing, go talk to her

what about you?

I'll go exchange these books

I'll see you tomorrow

you're not angry?

No, I'm not

till tomorrow

been back in Paris long?

Since January

that's when I arrived!

How about me? Have I changed?

You seem serious, but you look fine

don't you want news of someone?

Yes... how is she?

She's been sick... her eyes

but she's suffered more from other things

I understand

and now?

She's better. She works with children

she teaches Sunday school

actually, I can't tell you much about her

she no longer confides in me and I'm sorry

two words are never spoken in our house...

the words "Claude" and "Paris"

Anne was becoming a sculptress

she had a studio in Paris

she now felt sure Muriel and Claude...

would never get together. Yet they'd come so close

no longer in Muriel's shadow...

Anne was the girl that he'd first met

she was there for herself and he liked that

they often went to look...

at Rodin's "Balzac", done on commission...

then indignantly refused

Claude often went to Anne's studio

he encouraged her...

gave her confidence in her work

Claude found Anne especially pretty today...

he sensed her heart beating like his

Muriel was no longer a barrier

he had a mad idea: Caress her breast

why not try?

Would she be shocked, or slap him?

No, Claude, wait...

listen to me

she moved away from him to explain...

someone had always overshadowed her...

dazzled her, silenced her. It was Muriel

Anne had introduced Claude to Muriel...

for pleasure, to see them match wits

picturing them married, she'd stepped aside

virtuous? No... realistic

were you jealous of her?

Sometimes... but not for long

when you played tennis together...

you were a real couple

and we failed

no man had touched Anne... she'd be his

he'd be the first... but not here, not in Paris

they'd go away

Claude borrowed an island cabin on a Swiss lake

they'd go there for a week. They'd try... draw closer

they were more resolute than in love

tomorrow we must buy matches

a hot meal would be nice

wait... just for a moment

the 1st night, Anne pulled away

she put up a blanket as a curtain

Claude was to undress on his own side

the island is pretty, isn't it?

I'm sure the old lady would sell it

I wonder how much she'd want

are you in bed?

May I come?

You're not answering

are you asleep?

It's very nice

tell me, Anne...

haven't you ever wanted a man?

There was one last summer... much too handsome

his face was too symmetrical

I dreamed about him

I dreamed he kissed me there

I knew it, I was sure!

You have great curiosity about men...

almost a divine curiosity

it will lead you to have many lovers

think so?

I don't know

I only care about my work

I'll make statues, not babies

the 2nd night: More kisses

is the word "copain" vulgar in french?

No, just colloquial

it means "friend"... but warmer and more intimate

I'm your "copain" then?

Sometimes, but we're more than that

"copains" don't kiss on the lips with hearts racing

I'm tired of being a virgin, but I'm afraid

afraid?

If you're afraid, we'll wait

you're not angry?

I'm glad we have time

nothing to say?

I'm listening to you...

watching you

I'm glad you're here

the 3rd night, Anne seemed very busy

what are you doing?

I've decided

no curtain tonight

no blouse

no skirt

Anne... what is that?

Her underclothes were impossible. Fashioned with a knife...

red flannel, military-looking

she removed them simply and came to him nude

now, Claude

I'm ready now

are you sure?

I'm sure

not afraid any more?

It had to be...

I'm happy

because you wanted to...

but it's not yet... us

it was as if you were alone

the week ended. Claude wanted to stay on

Anne refused saying: "Now I see life differently"

"I can learn the rest alone but I've only you, for love"

she was going home to England, Claude to Paris, alone

Anne gave him one last nod of farewell

they were free and it was good

monsieur Claude, your mail

thank you...

are you staying here now?

For a while

dear Claude, I came home yesterday

this is some wallpaper from our room

mother and Muriel are in bed

I cried

you're more real than my sculpture

I felt you kissing me yesterday...

Wednesday afternoon at 4

were you thinking of me then?

When I look in the mirror I wish I'd given you more

Muriel knows I see you, that's all

I know you have other women but I'm not jealous

3 months later, Anne was back in Paris

on the stairs he already wanted her profoundly

she'd changed... the "half-tomboy" aspect was gone

she was a woman...

have you had breakfast?

No, I thought I'd have it with you

but I've nothing here

their eyes met... hers were now daring

their love-making was new for them both

Anne now knew how to use her body

how strange!

What?

To love someone so much

he realized it was 3 years ago that he had first desired her

you're my breakfast

Claude... I'm too happy

I should have other lovers

I'll let you do the same

love me as much as you can

happiness can't be told, but it wears down... unnoticed

in public, Claude rediscovered Anne

she dressed better... smarter

they'd just made love, yet she looked so virginal

Anne accepted Claude's ideas on free love

he could have other affairs, but she refused...

rejecting all offers

Diurka, a brawny Slav, spotted Anne. He published...

art books. Handsome in a way...

he had youthful eyes. He liked her, he wanted her

Claude thought...

"if she likes him... she's free"

Claude saw what Anne meant when she'd said...

"I'm always a success just after..."

Claude let the day go by, the night...

next morning...

Claude, I must talk to you

come with me...

I'm listening

you already know

Diurka

he was here... when I knocked

do you love him?

I don't know yet

does he love you?

He came to see me. He looked at my work...

made perceptive comments

he didn't leave

since this morning, we...

does it bother you?

Are you hurt?

I thought you...

true, but it's still a shock

anyway, I approve... you're right

Diurka says he's been alone for a year

I didn't want to, I don't love him yet

then he wanted to...

Diurka's a fine person...

you think so, too?

He wants to take me to Persia with him

I think I'll say No

Persia is magnificent

Anne, only your desires matter

you just met Diurka, go with him

I think you two need time alone

I shouldn't see you...

yes, you should!

So Anne had two regular lovers

they both knew, Anne didn't hide it

the lovers suffered... Anne thrived

before Persia, their farewell lasted all night

dear Claude, you'd love Persia...

you were my life

I only missed you in one way, I won't say which

your letter said...

"don't be afraid to love." I obeyed

my uncle used to tell my aunt not to fear being seasick... she often was

I'm home with Muriel

I'll be in Paris in 3 months... Anne

Claude recognized Muriel's writing

he was afraid she'd returned his letter

instead it was part of her diary...

probably the most intimate confession...

that he would ever read

dear Claude, we'll never meet again...

and surely that's best

but you mustn't believe I'm pure

I've something terrible to tell you

read my confession... you'll see that we're even

I've learned from a leaflet...

that since childhood I've had "nasty habits"

I've weakened my body and brain. I've abused myself

now I know that I'm no longer a pure woman

it's my duty to confess this to you

no shame will stop me, I am what I am

if you thought of me as unsullied, you were wrong

I was eight. A girl, Clarisse...

was first in class. I was second

she looked like a mischievous angel. I was told to be like her

her family spent a week with us

Clarisse slept with me...

in place of Anne, who was away

in bed, she stripped...

and said I should, too

then she embraced me

I was devoted to her

two little girls caressed all night...

one knowing, one docile

she taught me to touch certain parts of my body...

one especially. She convinced me...

not to talk about our secret

after she left I sometimes did it alone

I didn't understand that part of me

I only knew it was private and mustn't be seen

it wasn't to be mentioned

the habit would leave me alone... then come back

I'd give into it... angry... unable to stop

one sultry Sunday when I was 17...

I was lying in a field gazing at the sky

I gave in again...

driven by an unknown force

sometimes I thought of it...

as a way to get to sleep and to warm my cold feet

but I hated being a slave to it

I fought it, twisting my hands...

face buried, pleading with god

if I couldn't go to sleep...

or think of something else...

I gave in, then forbade myself to pray

here's a copy of a letter from America

it has helped me

"my dear young friend...

"your appeal aroused my sympathy

"understand your plight and feel no repugnance

"I admire your frankness

"if you give way, tell yourself...

"that it wasn't you

"you despise this act

"then jump out of bed...

"and take a cold bath

"don't waste time in self-reproach

"lead an active life, help others

"you learned this habit despite yourself. It will cease

"best wishes..."

Muriel's confession aroused more curiosity than emotion

Claude thought...

it was marketable. He wanted to publish it...

anonymously, in a limited edition

Muriel refused, not saying how he'd hurt her

"I've abused myself

"now I know that...

"I'm no longer a pure woman

"it's my duty to confess this to you

"no shame will stop me

"I am what I am

"if you thought of me as unsullied...

"now you know you were wrong"

it's all that's left?

Your properties cost more than they bring in

repairs on the rue de Bagnolet place...

wipe out the income from the others

what do you advise?

Sell that one...

and keep the two others

I may have a buyer

I must ask my mother

go ahead... but quickly

buyers don't grow on trees

I'll wait...

I'm sorry to tire you, mother

it's dark in here... light the gas

the lawyer says to sell rue de Bagnolet

what do you think?

Whatever you do will be right

Claude was alone. He had lost the most demanding of all his women

he was free to live his own life

how would he use his freedom?

Anne came back...

more mature... prettier.

Their love-making was restrained

don't look at me

what's this new modesty?

I've seen you naked so often

I'll turn around...

but remember Eurydice!

If our eyes meet, you'll die

what did you say?

Eurydice, the wife of Orpheus

Anne was meant to love only one man

but if that man wasn't Claude...

she'd go against her instinct

I haven't been honest

there's something I haven't told you

I didn't come to Paris alone

Diurka?

No, Diurka was Persia

that's finished

I brought Muriel with me

she's in Paris. Do you want to see her?

I don't know...

I want to see her if she wants it

she wants it

she's afraid she means nothing to you

she wants to see you before leaving

does she know about us?

No, nothing at all

but she must be told

you're right... but not yet

no, not yet...

but it must be done

she'll be at my studio tonight...

4 years? Only yesterday!

Muriel held her hand out stiffly as she had the first time they met

she could only remove her glasses...

once the curtains cut off the light

I've heard nothing from you in ages

nothing that counts

you didn't write, either

I couldn't

after you left, I lost the normal use of my eyes

Anne was away

my left eye gave out first and I nearly lost them both

I spent 3 months in total darkness

at that time I thanked god

for not giving you a blind wife

and now?

I'm getting better

I came here...

I was afraid, but I wanted to

Muriel's virtue frightened Claude

he thought of her as unapproachable

he couldn't touch her as he had Anne

he felt insincere, yet he was deeply moved

the surprise came from Muriel

I loved you so much

I lived for you, Muriel

I knew joy and pain...

you're leaving?

You won't stay with me?

I can't...

I wanted to see you again, but...

I didn't expect to be so... affected

I don't know what I think... or want

- I'll see you again. - Are you sure?

I must leave now...

I must leave, Muriel!

I found you at last

here's a letter from Muriel

I know she's still in love with you

she says she loves me...

she wants to go away with me

you must accept I know you love her, too

yes, I love her...

as much as I did before

you must talk to her first

you must tell her everything

yes

again Muriel had revealed...

the violence of her suppressed love

Anne took her home like an invalid

Muriel wrote Claude a farewell letter

Anne told me everything, she wasn't afraid to hurt me

I was horrified... now I'm calm

I know Anne loves you and always will

she loved you first...

but silently renounced you for my sake

my selfishness made me blind

she brought you to me... almost had us engaged

if a woman like Anne or me gives herself, she's married

do you want two wives who are sisters?

Anne and I love the same man. It's tragic but not unusual

I'll probably always think about you

but part of me has withdrawn from you

I leave for England in an hour

forgive me for our kiss

for the first time, Claude suffered...

as he had made so many others suffer

he was sunk in despair

locked in darkness for days...

he questioned his very identity

waiting for sleep, he'd repeat...

"I am nothing... I understand nothing"

slowly he healed himself...

by writing a book. "Jerome and Julien"...

was about a woman who loved two men

it was his story, transposed his love for the two sisters

by chance, Diurka published the book

Claude was cool to him, at first. Then he got to know and like him

how do you feel about it?

Mostly relieved

writing it, I was unhappy

I was miserable, because...

it stirred up memories. Now I feel better...

as if the characters had suffered for me

I understand

I liked your book very much

it stirred up memories for me, too

now I can tell you... I didn't like you

you got on my nerves, too

Anne had only praise for you

that didn't help any!

Have you seen her?

I wanted to...

I heard she was engaged to a mountain-climber

she must be married now

no... she broke her engagement

why?

I only know it's off, I don't know why

still think about her?

Love stories should be complete...

with a beginning, middle and end

so our affair with Anne is probably over

still, I wonder why she didn't marry him

I know a good way to find out

go and ask her

filled with hope, Diurka went to Wales

after Persia, he'd let Anne go

he'd been unable to show his love

now he'd convince her they could start again

he'd persuade her to come away with him

he'd ask Mrs brown for Anne's hand

you remember me?

I came to see Anne

then you accept?

I have your word?

May I get Muriel?

I spoke to her. She accepts now

thank you!

That was why she broke her engagement

she knew she had tuberculosis

she was superb... she never told her fiance

she let him think she'd changed her mind...

that she was capricious

I arrived on a Sunday

Muriel was teaching in the garden

she explained everything

I saw Anne right away...

I persuaded her to see a doctor

she died that afternoon, before he arrived

but why wouldn't she see a doctor?

She thought it wasn't serious?

I don't think so... she knew she was dying

maybe it was pride, or heroism

before she died, she said a beautiful but terrible thing...

"my mouth is full of earth"

how did Muriel take it?

Muriel is like those old women

who can't cry over death any more

I've had news of Muriel...

from whom?

I've had news

she may go to Brussels to teach English

she lands at Calais in 2 days

Calais?

Muriel, this is my room

shall we meet downstairs in half an hour?

Fine

this way, madame...

Claude finally held Muriel, after 7 years!

He made his intentions clear, she could have run away

she didn't run away, she was ready

she was 30 years old... she looked 20

she was new and fresh, like snow in his hands

he persisted, expecting her to resist

she did not resist. She fought for the same goal

he forced her mouth open...

she wanted it, despite her fear

an unknown magnet thrust them together

the ribbon burst... less easily than Anne's

there was no tenderness

Claude's aim was to arm Muriel against him

it was done

red stained her gold

what are you doing?

I'm leaving

why?

Come here...

dearest Claude...

I came to see you to bury this thing

I'm glad you were the first...

because it's you, because you wanted it

I shan't cry

listen to me as you once did...

when I told you love was stirring in me

now I tell you that it must die...

so that I may live

we needn't separate

I took a long time, but now you're my wife

it's the first time I've felt so sure...

the very first time

we made love...

you may be pregnant

we'll go to Brittany and wait for the baby...

by the sea

I was meant to be a mother and I will be

but there's no room for me in your life

our love is a dead end, but it's not shameful

it mustn't be a dead end!

I'm asking you to be my wife

you never were and never will be a husband

I'll add this...

my act was morally very serious...

but it was my decision

we're from different tribes...

we learned different customs

I'm a puritan in love...

you love me because you're a bit crazy

please listen to me

it's all true, but I'm another person now...

thanks to you

you're not my Claude any more and it's too late to change

your value is in your work, not in your children

you were my center...

and now I must lose you

we love a person...

for what he is. We don't try to change him

if we succeeded, he'd no longer be himself

you taught me love last night

your kisses made me dizzy...

I still hold you

I can live without eyes or legs... I can live without you

I no longer fear life without you

your ideas sway me when I'm with you...

afterward, they shatter against my religion

I'm not sad for you, you don't need me

god protect you

Claude saw Muriel off

they had half an hour before her train

Muriel seemed happy and confident

she left and he was alone

between them...

was a dead girl they never named

only a birth could banish the ghost...

by creating a different trio

"dear Claude, we knew it might happen...

"and it did: I'm expecting your child

"praise god, you're alive in me

"the paper is your flesh, the ink, my blood

"I press to make it enter"

then she wrote again...

this letter is bordered in black

I'm not pregnant after all

it was simply my deep desire to be

we shan't meet again, however much I want to

we couldn't surpass our night in Calais

we recognize happiness only afterwards

fifteen years have passed

Muriel is married to a schoolteacher

they have a daughter

Mrs brown is dead, the house sold

letters to the browns are returned

fifteen years...

France is snown with corpses and shrapnel

millions have died... few remember why

fifteen years...

Claude visits the Rodin museum

the statue of Balzac is now acclaimed

Claude hears English voices...

schoolgirls, visiting France. He remembers...

Muriel's photo at ten...

and looks for some resemblance

could her daughter be there?

This one?

That one?

Or the redhead?

Claude looks at them

he could ask:

"Is one of you Muriel brown's daughter?"

No. What's the use...

are you free?

I have a fare

what's wrong with me today? I look old!

re-synched by Tegogolo Salue!