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ترجمة هشام لهمامي
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Come on! Spin it! Come on!
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00:00:05,240 --> 00:00:07,080
Come on! Spin it! Spin it!
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Come on, Sleeky.
Spin it! Spin it!
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00:00:11,280 --> 00:00:12,760
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00:00:12,760 --> 00:00:14,760
The cops are coming! The cops!
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The cops! The cops! The cops!
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( GLASS SHATTERS 3
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Hello. I'm Pauly.
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Um, now, the following story —
it's all true
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and we didn't even change
any of the names
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to protect innocent or guilty,
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'cause it's, like, true and that.
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19
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Doughnuts!
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(TECHNO MUSIC)
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MAN: Hey, mate,
are you disabled in there?
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Uh, yes, I am.
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I have jiggly legs
and my throat has the shingles.
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I can't talk anymore.
Stop — arggh!
33
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Oh, he's f—--ing lying!
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I saw that able-bodied f---
walk in there.
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You f—--ing p----.
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40
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41
00:02:06,920 --> 00:02:08,400
42
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What's with this tricky door?
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We're sick of f—--s like you
using our toilet, p----!
44
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Hey, look, come on, man.
I'm late for work.
45
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Yeah! What part of disabled
don't you understand, s---head?
46
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00:02:25,440 --> 00:02:26,669
48
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Open the door!
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Ah, sucked in, mate!
50
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Come on!
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I wish I could see your face.
52
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Arggh!
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59
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(CLA'I'I'ERING)
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62
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63
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Mate, them disabled
have chips on their shoulders!
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That's the last time
I'm giving to charity, mate.
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(Man sings) ♪ Yeah
♪ Pizza...oh, yeah
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(Both sing)
♪ Chicks! Chicks! Chicks! ♪
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00:03:46,240 --> 00:03:47,800
Hello?
Pauly!
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00:03:47,800 --> 00:03:49,680
Habib, man.
How's it going, mate?
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00:03:49,680 --> 00:03:50,680
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00:03:50,680 --> 00:03:53,960
I'm in Sleeky's car with Rocky
and some chick he picked up.
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Pauly,
you should see her arse, mate.
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00:03:55,960 --> 00:03:57,960
It's beautiful —
it's like a smooth peach.
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00:03:57,960 --> 00:03:59,440
Like a watermelon.
76
00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:03,280
Hey, tell me about the system
I got ya. Is it sick or what?
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00:04:03,280 --> 00:04:05,960
Look, Habib, the stereo,
it's not bad, alright?
78
00:04:05,960 --> 00:04:08,680
But come on, man!
Iasked for bloody 12 subwoofers.
79
00:04:08,680 --> 00:04:10,160
You only put seven in!
80
00:04:10,160 --> 00:04:12,360
And what's with this on board
computer, Habib, man?
81
00:04:12,360 --> 00:04:13,840
It's just too complicated!
82
00:04:13,840 --> 00:04:15,720
COMPUTER: You are exceeding
the speed limit.
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Shut up!
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00:04:17,200 --> 00:04:20,440
Mate, I can't find the button
to switch off the voice talking.
85
00:04:20,440 --> 00:04:22,120
Habib, man,
give me that phone.
86
00:04:22,120 --> 00:04:25,400
Pauly, bro, try
the turbo button on the stereo.
87
00:04:25,400 --> 00:04:26,400
88
00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:29,800
I haven't tried it.
I'll give it a go.
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SONG: ♪ Subwoofer!
Sick, mate, sick!
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00:04:32,400 --> 00:04:34,357
♪ Subwoofer! Subwoofer! ♪
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00:04:35,480 --> 00:04:37,039
What about those subwoofers,
huh?
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00:04:38,800 --> 00:04:41,520
Yeah, alright, it's not bad, you know. Not
bad.
93
00:04:41,520 --> 00:04:45,720
Ooh! Habib! You should see
what I can see, man.
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00:04:45,720 --> 00:04:47,760
It's this sexy pants chick.
95
00:04:47,760 --> 00:04:50,040
She's wearing, like,
tight little zip pants.
96
00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:51,600
She's on a motorbike.
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00:04:51,600 --> 00:04:55,200
She's got boots and, oh...
It's Puss in Boots, mate.
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00:04:55,200 --> 00:04:58,320
Oh, my God, stop it!
You're making me horny.
99
00:04:58,320 --> 00:04:59,560
100
00:04:59,560 --> 00:05:01,320
Oh, look at that...
Pauly...
101
00:05:01,320 --> 00:05:03,720
Hey, hold on. I've got a call.
102
00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:05,200
Hello?
103
00:05:05,200 --> 00:05:07,600
You're a minute late for work,
Pauly.
104
00:05:07,600 --> 00:05:09,280
Oh, come on, Bobo, man!
105
00:05:09,280 --> 00:05:11,440
Where are ya? What's going on?
106
00:05:11,440 --> 00:05:15,080
Why do you think I'm late?
I picked up your wedding ring.
107
00:05:15,080 --> 00:05:17,151
Shut up! Get in here!
108
00:05:22,560 --> 00:05:25,720
Oh, what an arse! I have to get
this chick's number.
109
00:05:25,720 --> 00:05:28,599
110
00:05:30,640 --> 00:05:32,240
111
00:05:32,240 --> 00:05:33,720
Arggh!
112
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(TYRES SQUEAL)
113
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(Screams indistinctly)
A transtesticle!
114
00:05:36,760 --> 00:05:39,760
(ITALIAN MUSIC)
115
00:05:39,760 --> 00:05:41,797
(PHONE RINGS)
116
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Fat Pizza pizzas.
They're big and they're cheesy.
117
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I just want to check — what's
on a ham and pineapple, mate?
118
00:05:56,480 --> 00:06:00,792
Pauly, this is the new worker —
Davo.
119
00:06:02,800 --> 00:06:05,960
Alright, today's your first day.
120
00:06:05,960 --> 00:06:08,440
I hope Bobo's told you
about this job.
121
00:06:08,440 --> 00:06:12,080
Delivering pizzas! I've got
the hot bag and the burn bag.
122
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Man, don't be so ignorant.
123
00:06:13,680 --> 00:06:15,760
You are dealing with the public!
124
00:06:15,760 --> 00:06:18,229
Pizza delivery
is a dangerous business.
125
00:06:21,360 --> 00:06:23,160
Now, to stay alive, man,
126
00:06:23,160 --> 00:06:26,040
you're gonna have to follow
three simple rules.
127
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Listen, 'cause I'm not saying
them again, alright?
128
00:06:28,800 --> 00:06:31,880
Number one — if the customer,
like, invites you inside,
129
00:06:31,880 --> 00:06:34,560
never go in, mate — never!
130
00:06:34,560 --> 00:06:38,920
Do come in! I have a nice hot tip
waiting for you.
131
00:06:38,920 --> 00:06:39,960
(ALARM BLARES )
132
00:06:39,960 --> 00:06:44,160
Mate, rule number two — man,
get a fake licence from Habib.
133
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(TYRES SQUEAL)
134
00:06:46,280 --> 00:06:48,360
Can I see your licence,
please, sir?
135
00:06:48,360 --> 00:06:50,560
Of course.
I mean, it's required by law.
136
00:06:50,560 --> 00:06:52,480
My name is Jerry MacFetus,
137
00:06:52,480 --> 00:06:54,320
with the Scottish pronunciation
Mac,
138
00:06:54,320 --> 00:06:55,960
'cause that's my background.
139
00:06:55,960 --> 00:06:57,080
(BAGPIPES PLAY)
(Screams)
140
00:06:57,080 --> 00:06:58,600
I love them haggis.
141
00:06:58,600 --> 00:07:00,750
Now, the third rule is...
142
00:07:04,920 --> 00:07:06,400
Is them thongs?
143
00:07:06,400 --> 00:07:08,118
They're not thongs,
they're cross-trainers!
144
00:07:09,920 --> 00:07:12,000
Yes, they are.
145
00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:15,320
Look, the third rule is —
Bobo's mad and he's a tight-arse
146
00:07:15,320 --> 00:07:16,800
and, like, worst of all,
147
00:07:16,800 --> 00:07:19,000
if you see him coming
with the chainsaw...
148
00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:20,480
Arggh!
149
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Run, mate!
Arggh!
150
00:07:23,840 --> 00:07:26,840
See, Bobo, man,
he's a 40-year-old virgin.
151
00:07:26,840 --> 00:07:28,600
Don't tell him I told ya.
152
00:07:28,600 --> 00:07:32,150
Mate, that's why he's violent, man.
He's horny all the time.
153
00:07:33,160 --> 00:07:35,320
And the bloke still lives
with his mama.
154
00:07:35,320 --> 00:07:36,800
Do you believe that?
155
00:07:36,800 --> 00:07:39,160
(ACCORDION MUSIC)
156
00:07:39,160 --> 00:07:41,071
You're telling me
he's never had sex?
157
00:07:42,160 --> 00:07:43,639
There was one time.
158
00:07:44,960 --> 00:07:46,800
But the woman had a penis.
159
00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:49,920
(Woman sings) ♪ I'm fascinated
by your love, boy
160
00:07:49,920 --> 00:07:53,320
♪ I'm fascinated
by your love toy
161
00:07:53,320 --> 00:07:54,800
♪ I'm fascinated by... ♪
162
00:07:54,800 --> 00:07:57,758
Are you a real woman?
(Laughs)
163
00:07:58,760 --> 00:08:01,520
And, mate, Bobo's
particularly stressed today
164
00:08:01,520 --> 00:08:03,000
because, man, tomorrow
165
00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:06,280
he's meant to get married
to, like, a mail-order chick.
166
00:08:06,280 --> 00:08:09,272
(ROMANTIC MUSIC SWELLS)
167
00:08:18,920 --> 00:08:20,960
Bobo!
168
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(MUSIC STOPS ABRUPTLY)
Mama!
169
00:08:22,640 --> 00:08:25,560
Can I have the credit card?
(MODEM BEEPS)
170
00:08:25,560 --> 00:08:29,440
The bloke is such a cheap-arse,
what he's done —
171
00:08:29,440 --> 00:08:33,360
he's making her sneak into
the country, mate, like a refugee
172
00:08:33,360 --> 00:08:36,240
in one of them, what,
them little putt-putt boats,
173
00:08:36,240 --> 00:08:38,440
with a small engine.
174
00:08:38,440 --> 00:08:41,432
(ORIENTAL MUSIC)
175
00:08:43,960 --> 00:08:47,600
(Man sings) ♪ Where you walk
Flowers bloom
176
00:08:47,600 --> 00:08:49,840
♪ When you smile, all the gloom
177
00:08:49,840 --> 00:08:53,600
♪ Turns to sunshine
178
00:08:53,600 --> 00:08:58,800
♪ And my heart opens wide
179
00:08:58,800 --> 00:09:02,160
♪ When you're gone
it fades... ♪
180
00:09:02,160 --> 00:09:04,640
Bobo, why do you want
to get married
181
00:09:04,640 --> 00:09:06,916
when you can live
with your mama?!
182
00:09:09,040 --> 00:09:11,634
(ITALIAN MUSIC
PLAYS SOFTLY )
183
00:09:12,800 --> 00:09:14,473
What are you bludgers
lookin' at?!
184
00:09:15,840 --> 00:09:18,040
Any orders, Bobo?
185
00:09:18,040 --> 00:09:19,240
Shut up!
186
00:09:19,240 --> 00:09:22,280
MAN: Stop! You cannot
enter Australia illegally.
187
00:09:22,280 --> 00:09:25,680
(EXCITED HUBBUB)
188
00:09:25,680 --> 00:09:27,239
(Speaks foreign language)
189
00:09:30,360 --> 00:09:31,600
Get 'em! Get 'em!
190
00:09:31,600 --> 00:09:33,000
Who are these guys?
191
00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:35,992
(JAUNTY MUSIC)
192
00:09:37,000 --> 00:09:40,880
Mate, this is the former
employee hall of shame.
193
00:09:40,880 --> 00:09:44,040
Now, you see this bloke here?
Now, this is Dougie, mate.
194
00:09:44,040 --> 00:09:47,160
He was the guy on them
TV Pizza Shack commercials.
195
00:09:47,160 --> 00:09:48,640
Yeah, right.
196
00:09:48,640 --> 00:09:51,120
After he got busted for drugs —
that big scandal —
197
00:09:51,120 --> 00:09:53,600
he couldn't get a job
nowhere else but here,
198
00:09:53,600 --> 00:09:55,360
actually working in pizzas.
199
00:09:55,360 --> 00:09:57,400
That'll be $12.95, thanks.
200
00:09:57,400 --> 00:09:58,600
(SCARY MUSIC)
201
00:09:58,600 --> 00:10:00,800
Killed by a serial killer, mate.
202
00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:02,480
Shit!
203
00:10:02,480 --> 00:10:03,800
(UNEARTHLY SCREAMING)
204
00:10:03,800 --> 00:10:05,360
What happened to this guy?
205
00:10:05,360 --> 00:10:07,920
That's Lachlan,
the apprentice chef.
206
00:10:07,920 --> 00:10:10,440
He suffered, like,
an industrialised accident.
207
00:10:10,440 --> 00:10:12,000
Unlucky.
208
00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:14,080
Bludger! Arggh!
209
00:10:14,080 --> 00:10:16,840
I won't spend over two minutes
in the toilet again.
210
00:10:16,840 --> 00:10:18,640
Arggh!
Bobo!
211
00:10:18,640 --> 00:10:19,640
Arggh!
212
00:10:19,640 --> 00:10:22,360
Now, this bloke here,
he's still alive.
213
00:10:22,360 --> 00:10:25,880
Man, he was the biggest stooge
of a pizza guy you've ever seen.
214
00:10:25,880 --> 00:10:27,520
You know? He was too polite!
215
00:10:27,520 --> 00:10:29,000
Excuse me, sir.
216
00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:30,480
(Screams)
217
00:10:30,480 --> 00:10:32,840
How many times
did I tell him, man?
218
00:10:32,840 --> 00:10:34,440
These people here, they're bums.
219
00:10:34,440 --> 00:10:37,114
There's no room for etiquette
in this area.
220
00:10:38,120 --> 00:10:40,600
(Indian accent)
Excuse me, madam.
221
00:10:40,600 --> 00:10:43,400
Would you be so kind
as to tell me
222
00:10:43,400 --> 00:10:45,680
where is the Punt Road, please?
223
00:10:45,680 --> 00:10:48,400
This f—--ing wog...
224
00:10:48,400 --> 00:10:50,320
...is trying to rape me, kids.
225
00:10:50,320 --> 00:10:54,840
And the f---ing b------ didn't
even offer me a f-----g beer.
226
00:10:54,840 --> 00:10:56,720
Let's f—--ing get the f -----!
227
00:10:56,720 --> 00:10:59,520
(ANGRY SHOUTING)
228
00:10:59,520 --> 00:11:01,840
Basically, man, he had
no chocky toughness, mate.
229
00:11:01,840 --> 00:11:03,320
You need that.
230
00:11:03,320 --> 00:11:04,800
Cheeky. What's that?
231
00:11:04,800 --> 00:11:07,440
Well, chockoness, man.
It's like the opposite of anglicised.
232
00:11:08,440 --> 00:11:10,720
Like, you would be anglicised.
233
00:11:10,720 --> 00:11:13,080
I would be chocko.
234
00:11:13,080 --> 00:11:15,920
I'm very sorry, sir,
but I cannot deliver this pizza.
235
00:11:15,920 --> 00:11:17,400
(Growls)
236
00:11:17,400 --> 00:11:18,880
You see, I am Hindu
237
00:11:18,880 --> 00:11:21,360
and this pizza has beef
all over it, sir!
238
00:11:21,360 --> 00:11:24,120
I'm sorry, but I cannot deliver
such a thing, sir.
239
00:11:24,120 --> 00:11:29,000
From now on I only deliver
the vegetarian pizzas, huh?
240
00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:30,479
OK?
241
00:11:32,640 --> 00:11:34,640
Now, this is your prime example
242
00:11:34,640 --> 00:11:37,280
of a bloke
not suited to pizzas, mate.
243
00:11:37,280 --> 00:11:39,191
Look at him. Look at his head.
244
00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:43,480
And, man, this is another bloke
who ignored the first rule.
245
00:11:43,480 --> 00:11:46,520
Look, don't go into these houses,
man — please!
246
00:11:46,520 --> 00:11:50,640
(Screams)
247
00:11:50,640 --> 00:11:53,520
Man, this India,
he hates Bobo that bad,
248
00:11:53,520 --> 00:11:55,480
what he's done —
him and his cousins,
249
00:11:55,480 --> 00:11:57,200
they set up their own shop,
250
00:11:57,200 --> 00:11:59,240
like a dodgy version
of Fat Pizza.
251
00:11:59,240 --> 00:12:02,160
(PHONE RINGS)
252
00:12:02,160 --> 00:12:04,240
Hello, Phat Pizzas.
253
00:12:04,240 --> 00:12:07,680
They are big,
and we also have small.
254
00:12:07,680 --> 00:12:09,360
You know, these Indians, man.
255
00:12:09,360 --> 00:12:12,800
Like, what, they talk big,
but they're pussies, you know?
256
00:12:12,800 --> 00:12:16,000
Like, have you heard of this Gandhi
that they all talk about?
257
00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:19,200
The bald guy with the dress
and the nappy-looking thing?
258
00:12:19,200 --> 00:12:20,680
Yeah, that's him.
259
00:12:20,680 --> 00:12:22,520
World famous, he is. Why?
260
00:12:22,520 --> 00:12:24,000
'Cause my grandfather
Nino Falzoni —
261
00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:27,200
mate, he was the one
who, like, did the whole thing
262
00:12:27,200 --> 00:12:28,793
to get him into peace.
263
00:12:29,800 --> 00:12:31,360
NEWSREEL: It's 1929
264
00:12:31,360 --> 00:12:33,120
and the middleweight
world championship
265
00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:36,040
is being contested
by Alfredo Falzoni from Malta
266
00:12:36,040 --> 00:12:38,440
and Mahatma Gandhi from India.
267
00:12:38,440 --> 00:12:40,600
I'm gonna shove a cow
down your throat
268
00:12:40,600 --> 00:12:42,240
and make you s--- beef burgers!
269
00:12:42,240 --> 00:12:46,000
(EXCITED HUBBUB)
270
00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:47,480
He bit off my ear!
271
00:12:47,480 --> 00:12:49,560
You are my bitch!
Arggh!
272
00:12:49,560 --> 00:12:52,120
My bitch! Come here, my bitch!
273
00:12:52,120 --> 00:12:54,160
And after what can only
be described
274
00:12:54,160 --> 00:12:56,160
as silly buggers
at the weigh-in,
275
00:12:56,160 --> 00:12:57,640
the fight begins.
276
00:12:57,640 --> 00:13:00,280
Gandhi starts show-boating
for the crowd.
277
00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:03,080
Gandhi tags Falzoni
with a short left...
278
00:13:03,080 --> 00:13:06,040
I'm the greatest fighter
in the world! (Laughs)
279
00:13:06,040 --> 00:13:08,840
But here comes Falzoni
with a series of uppercuts
280
00:13:08,840 --> 00:13:10,520
and a huge right hook.
281
00:13:10,520 --> 00:13:12,477
Oh! He's got Gandhi
on the ropes.
282
00:13:13,480 --> 00:13:16,472
('UN BEL DI' FROM
'MADAM BUTTERFLY' PLAYS )
283
00:13:24,560 --> 00:13:25,560
Arggh!
284
00:13:25,560 --> 00:13:29,240
(CROWD CHEERS)
285
00:13:29,240 --> 00:13:31,320
I can see it now!
286
00:13:31,320 --> 00:13:33,240
I was wrong!
287
00:13:33,240 --> 00:13:35,880
Violence is not the way!
288
00:13:35,880 --> 00:13:38,160
Peace is the only way!
289
00:13:38,160 --> 00:13:41,280
Someone please change my nappy.
290
00:13:41,280 --> 00:13:42,760
Far out!
291
00:13:42,760 --> 00:13:45,840
My grandfather met the Queen
when she came in the 705.
292
00:13:45,840 --> 00:13:47,320
(JAUNTY MUSIC)
293
00:13:47,320 --> 00:13:48,913
He worked at the Opera House.
294
00:13:53,040 --> 00:13:57,200
Excuse me, but what is
the big deal about that story?
295
00:13:57,200 --> 00:13:59,000
We“, he {med her'.!
296
00:13:59,000 --> 00:14:01,560
(JAUNTY MUSIC)
297
00:14:01,560 --> 00:14:03,600
NEWSREEL: And a splendid day
for Australia
298
00:14:03,600 --> 00:14:06,440
as Queen Elizabeth,
monarch of the English Empire,
299
00:14:06,440 --> 00:14:08,960
visits lowly Australians
in Sydney
300
00:14:08,960 --> 00:14:11,793
for the opening of this strange
ethnic-looking building.
301
00:14:21,880 --> 00:14:24,320
And here's the Queen
in all her splendour
302
00:14:24,320 --> 00:14:27,039
getting a private tour
of the Opera House.
303
00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:33,640
...show you
some of the innovations
304
00:14:33,640 --> 00:14:35,120
we put into place here.
305
00:14:35,120 --> 00:14:38,320
Extraordinary. What are
all these things here?
306
00:14:38,320 --> 00:14:40,120
They're called lamps,
your highness.
307
00:14:40,120 --> 00:14:44,840
Oh! Oh! Do me like a corgi!
Come on! Yeah!
308
00:14:44,840 --> 00:14:47,040
Bark for me!
Ruff! Ruff!
309
00:14:47,040 --> 00:14:49,998
Pauly, where's
the wedding ring?
310
00:14:52,360 --> 00:14:56,320
('WEDDING MARCH' PLAYS)
311
00:14:56,320 --> 00:14:58,360
Don't lose it.
312
00:14:58,360 --> 00:15:01,560
Relax, Bobo. It's safe, mate.
Alright?
313
00:15:01,560 --> 00:15:03,800
Now, look, man,
I'm getting low on petrol,
314
00:15:03,800 --> 00:15:06,320
like, driving around
to get these rings and that.
315
00:15:06,320 --> 00:15:07,960
I need a few bucks...
No!
316
00:15:07,960 --> 00:15:09,200
Just two bucks.
No!
317
00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:10,240
50 cents.
No!
318
00:15:10,240 --> 00:15:13,000
Can I just get a drink...
No!
319
00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:15,150
Can I use the toilet for free?
No!
320
00:15:16,200 --> 00:15:17,680
(Screams)
321
00:15:17,680 --> 00:15:19,520
Where's Sleek?
322
00:15:19,520 --> 00:15:21,880
Who?
323
00:15:21,880 --> 00:15:24,880
(Raps) ♪ Sleek the elite
I come through in the Bad Wog
324
00:15:24,880 --> 00:15:27,320
♪ Girls on my knob
Because I do a good job
325
00:15:27,320 --> 00:15:30,040
♪ Habib-bibie
The drug-maker, the drug-taker
326
00:15:30,040 --> 00:15:32,160
♪ The supplier
That can fly ya
327
00:15:32,160 --> 00:15:34,320
♪ My man, Rocky
He is rather stocky
328
00:15:34,320 --> 00:15:35,840
♪ Got a girl in stockings
329
00:15:35,840 --> 00:15:37,560
♪ And gave it to her
to pursue her
330
00:15:37,560 --> 00:15:39,920
♪ Yeah, she smells like a sewer
Oh, yeah... ♪
331
00:15:39,920 --> 00:15:42,720
(Rocky gasps and groans)
332
00:15:42,720 --> 00:15:45,960
I swear, man. These cops
are always hassling us, man.
333
00:15:45,960 --> 00:15:48,160
Why? We're just like
normal people, man.
334
00:15:48,160 --> 00:15:51,320
We do normal things, mate.
We eat kebabs, we have weapons.
335
00:15:51,320 --> 00:15:52,840
What's wrong with these things?
336
00:15:52,840 --> 00:15:55,400
(SIREN WAILS)
337
00:15:55,400 --> 00:15:57,560
Habib, man, hide the drugs.
It's cops!
338
00:15:57,560 --> 00:16:01,474
The cops?! I'm not holding it!
339
00:16:02,600 --> 00:16:04,113
Hide this up your nose!
340
00:16:09,440 --> 00:16:11,590
(ENGINE REVS)
341
00:16:14,960 --> 00:16:18,360
(DANCE MUSIC)
342
00:16:18,360 --> 00:16:21,960
COMPUTER: Do not engage
in unsafe driving.
343
00:16:21,960 --> 00:16:23,200
Slow down.
344
00:16:23,200 --> 00:16:25,840
Where do you switch this off,
mate?!
345
00:16:25,840 --> 00:16:28,280
Stop hitting me.
Shut up, mate!
346
00:16:28,280 --> 00:16:30,800
Stop.
Shut up! Shut up!
347
00:16:30,800 --> 00:16:33,480
(CRASH!)
348
00:16:33,480 --> 00:16:35,440
Wanker.
Man.
349
00:16:35,440 --> 00:16:38,239
(ALARM WAILS )
350
00:16:40,280 --> 00:16:43,960
You malaka.
Look what you did to my McCar.
351
00:16:43,960 --> 00:16:45,320
You McF---ed it.
352
00:16:45,320 --> 00:16:48,440
What are you supposed to be, mate?
What? Ronnie Mcdoggle?
353
00:16:48,440 --> 00:16:50,120
Mate, what's with
the ethnic accent?
354
00:16:50,120 --> 00:16:52,520
Everyone knows
he's a Scottish-American, man.
355
00:16:52,520 --> 00:16:54,280
Why do you think I have
356
00:16:54,280 --> 00:16:57,120
the most successful franchise
in the world, you sucker?
357
00:16:57,120 --> 00:16:59,160
Oh, tell me, McStooge.
358
00:16:59,160 --> 00:17:04,080
Because I'm a Greek, and Greeks
are the champions of takeaway.
359
00:17:04,080 --> 00:17:07,160
What do you think I'm gonna
call the business — McSpiro's?
360
00:17:07,160 --> 00:17:09,440
(Laughs) Oh, stop!
361
00:17:09,440 --> 00:17:12,320
Oh, you want to laugh?
No, no. I'm cracking up.
362
00:17:12,320 --> 00:17:15,153
(Laughs) You're giving me
a McStitch.
363
00:17:16,600 --> 00:17:19,592
(FAST-PACED MUSIC)
364
00:17:20,840 --> 00:17:22,433
Whaa!
365
00:17:25,640 --> 00:17:29,952
You want fries with that?
(Laughs)
366
00:17:32,480 --> 00:17:34,869
(SHOUTING)
367
00:17:37,840 --> 00:17:40,080
Let's kick his McF---ing arse!
368
00:17:40,080 --> 00:17:43,072
(All shout)
369
00:17:47,120 --> 00:17:49,270
Oh, you're thick-shaking now,
aren't ya?
370
00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:55,719
Jesus Fries!
371
00:17:56,880 --> 00:17:58,680
(All laugh)
372
00:17:58,680 --> 00:18:00,637
McSuck on these.
373
00:18:01,760 --> 00:18:03,239
Oh, hey, come on!
374
00:18:06,080 --> 00:18:09,550
Oh, you spastic.
Come on, you guys are McShit.
375
00:18:10,600 --> 00:18:12,400
(All gasp)
376
00:18:12,400 --> 00:18:14,240
Give him the two-piece combo!
377
00:18:14,240 --> 00:18:17,232
(All cheer)
378
00:18:19,960 --> 00:18:22,280
(Grunts)
379
00:18:22,280 --> 00:18:23,759
Not a malaka.
380
00:18:26,400 --> 00:18:28,120
(All gasp)
381
00:18:28,120 --> 00:18:30,200
(All whimper)
382
00:18:30,200 --> 00:18:32,160
Sorry, man. Hey, it's cool.
383
00:18:32,160 --> 00:18:34,520
I've got full comprehensive
McSurance.
384
00:18:34,520 --> 00:18:36,720
Yeah?
(All gasp)
385
00:18:36,720 --> 00:18:39,280
That's right in the McNuggets,
mate.
386
00:18:39,280 --> 00:18:42,159
SONG: ♪ Sick, mate! Sick!
Subwoofer! ♪
387
00:18:44,080 --> 00:18:46,800
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
388
00:18:46,800 --> 00:18:49,280
(Rocky gasps)
389
00:18:49,280 --> 00:18:51,840
Ooh, ooh, oh, yes!
390
00:18:57,080 --> 00:18:59,520
I swear to God I got no drugs.
391
00:18:59,520 --> 00:19:03,200
(Rocky screams and moans)
392
00:19:03,200 --> 00:19:06,320
Um, what seems to be
the problem, officer?
393
00:19:06,320 --> 00:19:08,040
Sir, at that last stop sign,
394
00:19:08,040 --> 00:19:10,440
you failed to come
to a complete stop.
395
00:19:10,440 --> 00:19:12,360
I'll have to issue you a ticket.
396
00:19:12,360 --> 00:19:14,400
Come on, bro, I stopped, man.
397
00:19:14,400 --> 00:19:16,320
I swear to God I stopped,
Officer.
398
00:19:16,320 --> 00:19:17,800
You slowed down, sir,
399
00:19:17,800 --> 00:19:21,000
but you did not come
to a complete stop.
400
00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:24,200
Excuse me, sir, but I almost
came to a complete stop,
401
00:19:24,200 --> 00:19:26,480
and then I just accelerated —
I'm just quick.
402
00:19:26,480 --> 00:19:28,920
What's the difference between
coming to a complete stop
403
00:19:28,920 --> 00:19:30,400
and almost stopping?
404
00:19:30,400 --> 00:19:32,280
There's no difference,
take it from me,
405
00:19:32,280 --> 00:19:33,880
'cause I'm a top driver, mate.
406
00:19:33,880 --> 00:19:35,760
(Girl squeals)
407
00:19:35,760 --> 00:19:38,752
(Squeals and screams)
408
00:19:41,120 --> 00:19:42,600
(Screams)
409
00:19:42,600 --> 00:19:45,080
Now, sir, would you like me
to slow down
410
00:19:45,080 --> 00:19:47,440
or come to a complete stop?
411
00:19:47,440 --> 00:19:49,120
(Screams)
412
00:19:49,120 --> 00:19:50,720
This one's for September 11.
413
00:19:50,720 --> 00:19:52,720
(TELEPHONE RINGS)
414
00:19:52,720 --> 00:19:54,880
Hello. Fat Pizza pizzas.
415
00:19:54,880 --> 00:19:56,560
They're big and they're cheesy.
416
00:19:56,560 --> 00:20:00,640
Hey, mate, we ordered pizzas
50 f—--ing minutes ago,
417
00:20:00,640 --> 00:20:03,200
so where's the f—--ing food?
418
00:20:03,200 --> 00:20:05,240
(All talk and swear)
419
00:20:05,240 --> 00:20:08,440
Look, I'm really sorry.
I've just started a new worker today.
420
00:20:08,440 --> 00:20:10,320
He should be on his way.
421
00:20:10,320 --> 00:20:12,920
SONG: ♪ Smoke more cones
♪ Smoke more cones... ♪
422
00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:14,400
♪ Smoke more cones... ♪
423
00:20:14,400 --> 00:20:16,200
Oh, not the last mushroom!
424
00:20:16,200 --> 00:20:18,600
♪ Smoke more cones
♪ I said smoke more cones... ♪
425
00:20:18,600 --> 00:20:21,520
(DISTORTED MUSIC)
426
00:20:21,520 --> 00:20:24,512
(ELECTRONIC MUSIC)
427
00:20:26,800 --> 00:20:29,792
(GRUNGE MUSIC)
428
00:20:44,400 --> 00:20:47,440
Ooh! Ooh!
429
00:20:47,440 --> 00:20:50,432
( ROMANTIC ITALIAN MUSIC)
430
00:20:52,320 --> 00:20:55,680
(MUSIC STOPS)
(Laughs)
431
00:20:55,680 --> 00:20:58,911
Hey! Excuse me, buddy.
432
00:20:59,960 --> 00:21:02,880
We're here looking for
a little aggressive McBIoke
433
00:21:02,880 --> 00:21:04,480
who wears a red McHat
434
00:21:04,480 --> 00:21:06,840
and gives me
the McF---ing shits.
435
00:21:06,840 --> 00:21:08,911
Now does he work here?
436
00:21:12,680 --> 00:21:14,796
(CHAINSAW ROARS )
437
00:21:16,280 --> 00:21:19,238
(TELEPHONE RINGS)
438
00:21:20,720 --> 00:21:23,160
Yep?
Hey, it's me, Ronnie.
439
00:21:23,160 --> 00:21:24,160
Yep?
440
00:21:24,160 --> 00:21:27,760
I want you to come around
and McF--- up a little smart-arse
441
00:21:27,760 --> 00:21:29,400
that insulted my franchise.
442
00:21:29,400 --> 00:21:30,400
Yep.
443
00:21:30,400 --> 00:21:33,560
Hey! I pay you a lot of money.
I expect results.
444
00:21:33,560 --> 00:21:35,198
What's the address?
445
00:21:36,920 --> 00:21:39,912
(FUNKY MUSIC)
446
00:21:41,200 --> 00:21:42,680
Poor Uncle Shiba.
447
00:21:42,680 --> 00:21:44,600
Reduced to living
at the drive-in
448
00:21:44,600 --> 00:21:46,080
'cause he can't afford rent.
449
00:21:46,080 --> 00:21:48,680
He has to go by
the nightly ticket price
450
00:21:48,680 --> 00:21:50,273
in his hokey motorhome, mate.
451
00:21:52,360 --> 00:21:55,240
I tell you what, Pauly.
Very impressive diamond.
452
00:21:55,240 --> 00:21:57,440
Is this real?
Come on, it's from Bobo.
453
00:21:57,440 --> 00:21:59,640
It's gotta be fake.
Oh, I thought so.
454
00:21:59,640 --> 00:22:02,680
But it'll be safe with me,
so don't worry.
455
00:22:02,680 --> 00:22:04,240
Well, Shiba, you've —
456
00:22:04,240 --> 00:22:07,710
you know, you've done
a top job decorating this van.
457
00:22:09,040 --> 00:22:10,520
It mightn't look like it,
458
00:22:10,520 --> 00:22:13,040
but I want you to know
I'm very happy.
459
00:22:13,040 --> 00:22:16,760
She got the house...
she got the car...
460
00:22:16,760 --> 00:22:19,520
Oh, yes! Yes!
461
00:22:19,520 --> 00:22:21,360
But she didn't get my pride.
462
00:22:21,360 --> 00:22:22,840
And guess what?
463
00:22:22,840 --> 00:22:26,920
She didn't get the apple of my eye — little
Lino, your cousin.
464
00:22:26,920 --> 00:22:29,560
(Cries)
465
00:22:29,560 --> 00:22:33,920
Time flies. He's 2.5 now — 2.5.
466
00:22:33,920 --> 00:22:36,600
Oh!
Oh, he's got an upset tummy.
467
00:22:36,600 --> 00:22:38,840
I'll have to take you
to the doctor's.
468
00:22:38,840 --> 00:22:41,800
Shiba, mate, I'm low on petrol.
Can I bludge some money?
469
00:22:41,800 --> 00:22:44,120
Money? I've got no money, mate.
I'm broke.
470
00:22:44,120 --> 00:22:46,880
But I tell you what,
if you want some fuel,
471
00:22:46,880 --> 00:22:49,400
why don't you siphon some
out of the tank?
472
00:22:49,400 --> 00:22:52,392
(FUNKY MUSIC)
473
00:23:03,440 --> 00:23:05,320
Pauly, you idiot!
What are you doing?
474
00:23:05,320 --> 00:23:07,840
(Gasps)
475
00:23:07,840 --> 00:23:10,639
That's not the fuel tank,
that's the sewer tank!
476
00:23:13,320 --> 00:23:15,280
(TYRES SQUEAL)
477
00:23:15,280 --> 00:23:17,960
(Girl squeals)
478
00:23:17,960 --> 00:23:20,952
(ROMANTIC MUSIC)
479
00:23:29,600 --> 00:23:33,070
Bobo, man, please stop looking
at me like you want to root me.
480
00:23:36,120 --> 00:23:39,080
Bobo, bro, man, I'm sorry I'm late, but
the reason is...
481
00:23:39,080 --> 00:23:40,560
Shut up!
482
00:23:40,560 --> 00:23:43,552
(MUSIC INTENSIFIES)
483
00:23:46,920 --> 00:23:49,753
(MUSIC REACHES CRESCENDO)
484
00:23:50,840 --> 00:23:52,911
(Girl whimpers and squeals)
485
00:23:57,560 --> 00:24:00,552
(ROCK MUSIC ROARS)
486
00:24:08,560 --> 00:24:10,640
Pizza!
487
00:24:10,640 --> 00:24:12,480
Hello.
488
00:24:12,480 --> 00:24:14,720
Hello!
489
00:24:14,720 --> 00:24:16,199
Pizza!
490
00:24:17,600 --> 00:24:19,079
Hello! Pizza!
491
00:24:24,960 --> 00:24:26,840
Pizza!
492
00:24:26,840 --> 00:24:29,600
SONG:
♪ Roots man at the control
493
00:24:29,600 --> 00:24:31,680
♪ Take me home
494
00:24:31,680 --> 00:24:34,718
♪ To where I belong
495
00:24:39,760 --> 00:24:42,149
♪ Where the roots man goes... ♪
496
00:24:43,960 --> 00:24:46,280
Shiba, mate, you were married.
497
00:24:46,280 --> 00:24:50,280
What's a good wedding present
for under 10 bucks?
498
00:24:50,280 --> 00:24:52,396
I've got the perfect present,
Pauly.
499
00:24:53,400 --> 00:24:54,880
Get yourself a pouf.
500
00:24:54,880 --> 00:24:57,320
Are you being serious, Shiba?
501
00:24:57,320 --> 00:25:00,200
A pouf, as in the gay people,
like, funny-bunnies?
502
00:25:00,200 --> 00:25:03,560
Oh, Pauly. No, a pouf is
something you put your feet on.
503
00:25:03,560 --> 00:25:05,040
It's a footstool.
504
00:25:05,040 --> 00:25:08,280
(JAUNTY MUSIC)
505
00:25:08,280 --> 00:25:09,920
They call it a pouf.
506
00:25:09,920 --> 00:25:11,399
A pouf'?
507
00:25:13,200 --> 00:25:14,560
(MOBILE PHONE RINGS)
508
00:25:14,560 --> 00:25:16,440
(Man and woman moan and yell)
509
00:25:16,440 --> 00:25:17,920
Who is it? Your lady?
510
00:25:17,920 --> 00:25:19,520
Man, it's them fat chicks.
511
00:25:19,520 --> 00:25:21,000
They keep stalking me, mate.
512
00:25:21,000 --> 00:25:22,760
Which fat chicks?
513
00:25:22,760 --> 00:25:24,240
Bro, I told you, man.
514
00:25:24,240 --> 00:25:25,720
To get the glamours,
515
00:25:25,720 --> 00:25:28,240
I make friends
with their fat-chick friends.
516
00:25:28,240 --> 00:25:31,080
'Cause glamours always have
fat-chick friends.
517
00:25:31,080 --> 00:25:34,600
Then the fat-chick friends tell
their friends, the glamours,
518
00:25:34,600 --> 00:25:36,360
that I'm a top bloke.
519
00:25:36,360 --> 00:25:38,520
Mate, I got the enemy
working for me.
520
00:25:38,520 --> 00:25:40,480
The trouble is, Habib,
the fat chicks,
521
00:25:40,480 --> 00:25:42,440
they still want to be friends,
man.
522
00:25:42,440 --> 00:25:44,280
But Sleekism's standards
are too high.
523
00:25:44,280 --> 00:25:48,600
In other words, if you're
over 50 kilo, you gotta go.
524
00:25:48,600 --> 00:25:50,080
Give me the number, yulla.
525
00:25:50,080 --> 00:25:52,760
My standards start at 50kg.
I'll give it to 'em.
526
00:25:52,760 --> 00:25:54,239
(Knocks) Hello?
527
00:25:56,560 --> 00:25:58,073
Pizza!
528
00:25:59,080 --> 00:26:00,559
(BUBBLING NOISE)
529
00:26:02,320 --> 00:26:03,800
F---!
530
00:26:03,800 --> 00:26:07,640
(HEAVY ROCK MUSIC)
531
00:26:07,640 --> 00:26:11,640
SONG:
♪ Just tell me you're a doctor
532
00:26:11,640 --> 00:26:14,234
♪ 'Cause that's what I need
533
00:26:16,560 --> 00:26:19,598
♪ I'll give you
some of my medicine
534
00:26:21,760 --> 00:26:24,673
♪ There are many, understand
535
00:26:26,840 --> 00:26:29,400
♪ If you call me
the doctor... ♪
536
00:26:30,600 --> 00:26:32,200
Hey.
(NEEDLE SCRATCHES RECORD)
537
00:26:32,200 --> 00:26:35,192
(ROCK MUSIC)
538
00:26:41,160 --> 00:26:42,833
(MOBILE PHONE RINGS)
539
00:26:44,200 --> 00:26:45,920
Hello?
Man, it's Pauly.
540
00:26:45,920 --> 00:26:47,800
Now, listen...
Er, excuse me, mate.
541
00:26:47,800 --> 00:26:49,280
Hold on.
Sorry.
542
00:26:49,280 --> 00:26:50,873
I've got to get some change.
543
00:26:52,000 --> 00:26:53,880
Yeah, um, now, tonight
544
00:26:53,880 --> 00:26:57,040
Habib and me have organised
a stripper for Bobo.
545
00:26:57,040 --> 00:27:00,000
So, what you're gonna have
to do, man, is turn up.
546
00:27:00,000 --> 00:27:02,160
You will have to pay
lots of money
547
00:27:02,160 --> 00:27:03,640
because you're the new bloke.
548
00:27:03,640 --> 00:27:05,440
So don't forget that —
bring cash.
549
00:27:05,440 --> 00:27:07,200
Actually, bring a credit card too,
550
00:27:07,200 --> 00:27:08,960
because we might want
these strippers
551
00:27:08,960 --> 00:27:10,720
to do, like, extras and that.
552
00:27:10,720 --> 00:27:13,320
I believe they have EFTPOS
with them.
553
00:27:13,320 --> 00:27:15,470
Anyway, I'll see you
back at the shop.
554
00:27:16,880 --> 00:27:19,269
What do you reckon
we should do with him?
555
00:27:22,160 --> 00:27:23,878
We kill him, I reckon.
556
00:27:27,880 --> 00:27:29,360
Excuse me.
557
00:27:29,360 --> 00:27:30,600
Hi.
558
00:27:30,600 --> 00:27:32,080
Mr Cones won't be long,
559
00:27:32,080 --> 00:27:34,680
but would you like to wait
in our office?
560
00:27:34,680 --> 00:27:37,720
(Thinks) Hey, Pauly,
remember rule number one, man —
561
00:27:37,720 --> 00:27:40,400
never go inside.
562
00:27:40,400 --> 00:27:43,920
But come on, man, these are
greenies — they're into peace.
563
00:27:43,920 --> 00:27:46,320
Look. Look at that chick.
Just look at her.
564
00:27:46,320 --> 00:27:48,640
Look how good-looking she is.
565
00:27:48,640 --> 00:27:50,480
Oh, we must go inside.
566
00:27:50,480 --> 00:27:53,438
Yes, I would love
to come inside.
567
00:27:54,520 --> 00:27:57,512
(THRASH MUSIC)
568
00:28:17,800 --> 00:28:19,950
(ENGINE REVS)
'Bye!
569
00:28:21,560 --> 00:28:23,040
Ooh.
570
00:28:23,040 --> 00:28:24,519
'Bye!
571
00:28:27,000 --> 00:28:29,276
We'll find that p----.
572
00:28:31,040 --> 00:28:34,396
Oh, sorry about the mess.
We've just moved offices.
573
00:28:36,080 --> 00:28:38,960
Hey, um,
what kind of animal is this?
574
00:28:38,960 --> 00:28:41,880
Oh. Oh, that's
the horner's rodent.
575
00:28:41,880 --> 00:28:45,160
We thought it was extinct,
but we found the last one.
576
00:28:45,160 --> 00:28:49,040
And now we're gonna clone it
and revive the species.
577
00:28:49,040 --> 00:28:51,920
That's interesting.
Can't wait.
578
00:28:51,920 --> 00:28:53,920
(Squeaks)
579
00:28:53,920 --> 00:28:55,480
(Woman laughs)
580
00:28:55,480 --> 00:28:57,720
I think he likes you.
581
00:28:57,720 --> 00:29:00,473
You have no idea
how much I love the animals.
582
00:29:01,640 --> 00:29:04,880
Oh, when they grow back,
I might get one as a pet.
583
00:29:04,880 --> 00:29:06,359
Oh.
584
00:29:28,920 --> 00:29:31,040
(Rodent squeaks)
585
00:29:31,040 --> 00:29:33,360
I know I should not
have been looking,
586
00:29:33,360 --> 00:29:36,520
but, man, it was like
an eclipse of the sun.
587
00:29:36,520 --> 00:29:38,272
It's bad for you to look...
588
00:29:39,800 --> 00:29:41,280
...but you must keep looking.
589
00:29:41,280 --> 00:29:42,759
(Rodent squeaks)
590
00:29:44,600 --> 00:29:46,120
Arggh!
591
00:29:46,120 --> 00:29:48,600
(Yells and grunts)
592
00:29:48,600 --> 00:29:50,080
(Gasps)
593
00:29:50,080 --> 00:29:51,840
Arggh!
594
00:29:51,840 --> 00:29:53,320
Stop it!
595
00:29:53,320 --> 00:29:55,240
(Rodent squeaks)
596
00:29:55,240 --> 00:29:56,878
Oh, no.
597
00:29:58,880 --> 00:30:00,360
Don't!
598
00:30:00,360 --> 00:30:01,840
(Grunts)
You idiot!
599
00:30:01,840 --> 00:30:03,319
Arggh!
600
00:30:06,040 --> 00:30:07,880
(Rodent squeaks)
(Screams)
601
00:30:07,880 --> 00:30:09,359
(Rodent squeaks)
602
00:30:12,160 --> 00:30:13,639
(Gasps)
603
00:30:16,840 --> 00:30:19,360
No!
604
00:30:19,360 --> 00:30:21,880
(Screams)
(Rodent squeaks)
605
00:30:21,880 --> 00:30:23,960
(Woman grunts)
Go, Rocky.
606
00:30:23,960 --> 00:30:26,640
Yes! Yes!
Give me some of the action.
607
00:30:26,640 --> 00:30:29,200
Hi, Sleek. How are you?
608
00:30:29,200 --> 00:30:32,040
How come you don't call us
anymore for coffee?
609
00:30:32,040 --> 00:30:34,440
Look, baby, please, I'm flat out.
I'm really busy.
610
00:30:34,440 --> 00:30:36,680
Oh, come on, Sleek.
611
00:30:36,680 --> 00:30:40,160
We only ordered this pizza
'cause we wanted to see you.
612
00:30:40,160 --> 00:30:41,840
Why don't you call us anymore?
613
00:30:41,840 --> 00:30:44,800
I swear to God,
I will take you out one night.
614
00:30:44,800 --> 00:30:46,280
I promise — yulla, bro.
615
00:30:46,280 --> 00:30:48,600
But what you gotta do is pay me,
616
00:30:48,600 --> 00:30:50,320
'cause Habib's in the car
waiting.
617
00:30:50,320 --> 00:30:52,920
Sleeky, set me up, yulla.
Set me up.
618
00:30:52,920 --> 00:30:54,400
His grandmother's sick, man.
619
00:30:54,400 --> 00:30:57,640
Like, she's about to die.
We gotta take her to emergency.
620
00:30:57,640 --> 00:31:00,120
I've got a fat, yulla.
A big fat.
621
00:31:00,120 --> 00:31:03,960
Her insides have just fallen out
or something. I swear.
622
00:31:03,960 --> 00:31:05,439
(MOBILE PHONE RINGS)
623
00:31:07,080 --> 00:31:08,560
Sleekism.
624
00:31:08,560 --> 00:31:10,440
Ask her if she wants a root.
625
00:31:10,440 --> 00:31:12,840
(TECHNO MUSIC)
626
00:31:12,840 --> 00:31:14,720
SONG: ♪ Fat, fat, fat, fat, fat
627
00:31:14,720 --> 00:31:15,120
♪ Yeah, pizza... ♪
628
00:31:15,120 --> 00:31:16,360
♪ Yeah, pizza... ♪
629
00:31:16,360 --> 00:31:17,960
(TRADITIONAL FOLK MUSIC)
630
00:31:17,960 --> 00:31:21,032
( VELCRO RIPS
INCESSANTLY)
631
00:31:24,840 --> 00:31:26,320
Hey, Bobo, I'm back.
632
00:31:26,320 --> 00:31:28,720
You got any more pizzas
for me to deliver?
633
00:31:28,720 --> 00:31:31,080
People love it.
I'm ready to go, Bobo.
634
00:31:31,080 --> 00:31:34,280
I can't hear you over this music.
You got any more pizzas?
635
00:31:34,280 --> 00:31:37,272
(GENTLE TRADITIONAL MUSIC
CONTINUES )
636
00:31:44,480 --> 00:31:45,959
(TYRES SQUEAL)
637
00:31:47,080 --> 00:31:48,798
That's my kind of worker.
638
00:31:50,440 --> 00:31:52,600
Look,
I was not calling you a poof.
639
00:31:52,600 --> 00:31:55,360
You better keep walking,
you homophobic little p----.
640
00:31:55,360 --> 00:31:57,240
I was just buying
a wedding present.
641
00:31:57,240 --> 00:32:00,040
Save your bulls---.
I've been told they're poufs.
642
00:32:00,040 --> 00:32:01,520
You little p----.
643
00:32:01,520 --> 00:32:03,480
I'm not a homostobic, mate.
Get out.
644
00:32:03,480 --> 00:32:06,472
(FUNKY MUSIC)
645
00:32:07,680 --> 00:32:08,680
Ooh!
646
00:32:08,680 --> 00:32:12,080
Oh, mate, I'm sorry.
Are you alright?
647
00:32:12,080 --> 00:32:14,040
Help me.
He's trying to bushwhack me.
648
00:32:14,040 --> 00:32:15,720
Untrue. I'm just getting a pouf.
649
00:32:15,720 --> 00:32:17,480
Help!
Relax. Relax.
650
00:32:17,480 --> 00:32:18,960
He's trying to kill me.
651
00:32:18,960 --> 00:32:20,439
Relax, mate. Urgh!
652
00:32:21,440 --> 00:32:23,320
You low-life
junkie piece of filth.
653
00:32:23,320 --> 00:32:26,000
You think you're tough
trying to rob an old man.
654
00:32:26,000 --> 00:32:27,920
You ain't getting
my pension cheque.
655
00:32:27,920 --> 00:32:29,800
Watch out, he's a homophobe.
656
00:32:29,800 --> 00:32:33,760
Excuse me, I saw it all.
He tried to steal his bag.
657
00:32:33,760 --> 00:32:35,400
He doesn't even have a bag.
658
00:32:35,400 --> 00:32:37,560
What's this hokey festival here?
659
00:32:37,560 --> 00:32:39,233
(Groans exaggeratedly)
660
00:32:46,280 --> 00:32:47,880
Get out of here.
Help! Help!
661
00:32:47,880 --> 00:32:49,359
You like buckets, do ya?!
662
00:32:54,480 --> 00:32:55,760
There he is.
663
00:32:55,760 --> 00:32:57,640
He's bashing someone
DRESSED like an animal!
664
00:32:57,640 --> 00:33:01,000
He hates gay people.
He hates sperm.
665
00:33:01,000 --> 00:33:02,000
(Groans)
666
00:33:02,000 --> 00:33:04,160
(All shout)
667
00:33:04,160 --> 00:33:08,000
What the f--- is going on?
I bought this stupid footstool.
668
00:33:08,000 --> 00:33:09,720
Hey!
669
00:33:09,720 --> 00:33:12,712
(ROCK MUSIC BLARES)
670
00:33:15,640 --> 00:33:18,400
SONG: ♪ He loves to dance
and play those funny games
671
00:33:18,400 --> 00:33:21,320
♪ Out of the rights of life
whispering your name
672
00:33:21,320 --> 00:33:23,880
♪ Putting the smile away
It's not a happy day
673
00:33:23,880 --> 00:33:27,720
♪ This is the way it goes
It's just the way it goes
674
00:33:27,720 --> 00:33:30,240
♪ He's so happy
675
00:33:30,240 --> 00:33:33,320
♪ But that's not funny
676
00:33:33,320 --> 00:33:36,320
♪ Sodom the clown
677
00:33:36,320 --> 00:33:39,960
♪ Tries to bring us down
678
00:33:39,960 --> 00:33:42,720
♪ We laugh, we cry
When it hurts we don't ask why
679
00:33:42,720 --> 00:33:44,360
♪ We laugh, we cry
680
00:33:44,360 --> 00:33:46,240
♪ 'Cause our hearts
don't want to die
681
00:33:46,240 --> 00:33:48,880
♪ We laugh, we cry
When it hurts we don't ask why
682
00:33:48,880 --> 00:33:50,360
♪ We laugh, we cry
683
00:33:50,360 --> 00:33:52,760
♪ 'Cause our hearts
don't want to die... ♪
684
00:33:52,760 --> 00:33:54,637
Oh.
685
00:33:57,120 --> 00:33:58,600
(DING!)
686
00:33:58,600 --> 00:34:00,600
Thanks, mate.
687
00:34:00,600 --> 00:34:01,360
Hi, I'm Claudia Macpherson,
supermodel,
688
00:34:01,360 --> 00:34:03,760
Hi, I'm Claudia Macpherson,
supermodel,
689
00:34:03,760 --> 00:34:05,720
and this here
is my new Abstiffy.
690
00:34:05,720 --> 00:34:08,120
If you try it
for one second a day,
691
00:34:08,120 --> 00:34:10,240
you too will have abs
like mine.
692
00:34:10,240 --> 00:34:13,440
Well, probably not. But let's give it
a whirl anyway, shall we?
693
00:34:13,440 --> 00:34:14,920
Oh, yes.
694
00:34:14,920 --> 00:34:17,400
(Gasps) One...
695
00:34:17,400 --> 00:34:18,879
...and two...
696
00:34:20,520 --> 00:34:21,999
...and three...
697
00:34:24,520 --> 00:34:25,999
...and...
698
00:34:30,960 --> 00:34:34,840
I've got a pizza here
for David Cockerfield.
699
00:34:44,400 --> 00:34:47,520
David, the pizza's here.
Can you deal with it?
700
00:34:47,520 --> 00:34:49,400
I have to go to the bathroom.
701
00:34:49,400 --> 00:34:52,392
(SPOOKY MUSIC)
702
00:34:55,800 --> 00:34:57,480
That's 13 bucks, thanks, mate.
703
00:34:57,480 --> 00:35:00,472
(MAGICAL MUSIC)
704
00:35:03,560 --> 00:35:06,320
Are you that magician on TV —
David Cockerfield?
705
00:35:06,320 --> 00:35:09,312
(MAGICAL MUSIC)
706
00:35:16,480 --> 00:35:17,960
(Gasps)
707
00:35:17,960 --> 00:35:20,120
How many f—--ing times
have I said
708
00:35:20,120 --> 00:35:22,509
not to use those stupid
magic tricks on me?
709
00:35:23,560 --> 00:35:25,039
Wanker.
710
00:35:31,440 --> 00:35:33,600
I slowed down —
put the music on now.
711
00:35:33,600 --> 00:35:35,320
Slow down...
Shut up!
712
00:35:35,320 --> 00:35:36,320
...wanker.
713
00:35:36,320 --> 00:35:37,920
Give me the music.
Slow down.
714
00:35:37,920 --> 00:35:39,399
Shut up!
(CRASH! )
715
00:35:42,040 --> 00:35:44,880
Emergency airbag initiated.
716
00:35:44,880 --> 00:35:48,080
I knew I shouldn't have got
Habib to put the airbags in.
717
00:35:48,080 --> 00:35:49,639
I don't want these bags.
718
00:35:56,800 --> 00:35:58,280
Are you...are youse OK?
719
00:35:58,280 --> 00:35:59,760
Yeah.
720
00:35:59,760 --> 00:36:01,880
I think we're OK.
721
00:36:01,880 --> 00:36:03,520
Just remember,
this was your fault,
722
00:36:03,520 --> 00:36:06,000
'cause youse run out
clearly onto the road,
723
00:36:06,000 --> 00:36:08,200
and cars have
the right of way, mate.
724
00:36:08,200 --> 00:36:11,431
That's alright, brother.
We forgive you.
725
00:36:12,440 --> 00:36:14,400
Jesus forgives you.
726
00:36:14,400 --> 00:36:15,880
Yeah?
727
00:36:15,880 --> 00:36:18,040
Well, that's good, because,
like, er,
728
00:36:18,040 --> 00:36:20,440
I mean, God would know
I have no insurance,
729
00:36:20,440 --> 00:36:22,720
so, um, I'll leave youse to it.
730
00:36:22,720 --> 00:36:24,880
See you later,
God and all that. Bye.
731
00:36:24,880 --> 00:36:26,360
Hey.
732
00:36:26,360 --> 00:36:29,200
It would be great
if you could make a donation.
733
00:36:29,200 --> 00:36:31,560
We've got
a portable electronic swiper.
734
00:36:31,560 --> 00:36:35,315
We take MasterCard, Visa,
and, of course, American Express.
735
00:36:36,360 --> 00:36:38,240
Would youse take this
as a donation?
736
00:36:38,240 --> 00:36:41,760
I mean, it's gotta keep you
off the kids. It's good.
737
00:36:41,760 --> 00:36:44,720
(FUNKY MUSIC)
738
00:36:44,720 --> 00:36:47,920
Get out of here, will ya?
Go back to Boganville.
739
00:36:47,920 --> 00:36:51,440
Sleeky, we gotta go, man.
We gotta do that thing for Bobo.
740
00:36:51,440 --> 00:36:54,000
No worries, Habib. Yulla. 'Bye.
741
00:36:54,000 --> 00:36:55,560
Hey, bro.
Hey, bro.
742
00:36:55,560 --> 00:36:58,400
Yeah, I'm Dave. Dave D'mkum.
743
00:36:58,400 --> 00:37:01,880
Fair dinkum. I'm Sleek.
744
00:37:01,880 --> 00:37:03,880
Did you say Slick?
745
00:37:03,880 --> 00:37:06,280
Nah, Sleek. It's my rap name.
746
00:37:06,280 --> 00:37:08,400
I'm a rapper, man.
Ah, rap's cool.
747
00:37:08,400 --> 00:37:09,880
Why Sleek?
748
00:37:09,880 --> 00:37:13,440
Because I'm slicker than slick
and very quick and full of sick.
749
00:37:13,440 --> 00:37:14,920
Oh, fully?
750
00:37:14,920 --> 00:37:17,196
Sick.
The sickest, actually, man.
751
00:37:22,720 --> 00:37:25,712
(TANGO MUSIC)
752
00:37:36,400 --> 00:37:38,391
SLEEK: Bobo, any orders, bro?
753
00:37:43,720 --> 00:37:45,199
Hey, Bobo!
754
00:37:47,560 --> 00:37:49,039
Shut up!
755
00:37:54,080 --> 00:37:57,920
And fight fans eager for
the so-called Thriller in St Kilda.
756
00:37:57,920 --> 00:38:00,400
Heavyweight champion
Lennox Blewis
757
00:38:00,400 --> 00:38:04,120
will take on
underdog Rocky Ramboa.
758
00:38:04,120 --> 00:38:06,520
I'm gonna win,
do you know what I mean?
759
00:38:06,520 --> 00:38:08,680
I'm gonna probably
put him down in two.
760
00:38:08,680 --> 00:38:12,040
You know, Rocky...he ain't gonna
win, you know what I mean?
761
00:38:12,040 --> 00:38:13,920
Yeah? You know what I mean?
Yeah?
762
00:38:13,920 --> 00:38:18,720
(Speaks indistinctly)
763
00:38:18,720 --> 00:38:20,200
(Switches channel)
764
00:38:20,200 --> 00:38:21,680
CLAUDIA: And one...
765
00:38:21,680 --> 00:38:23,160
Oh, yes.
766
00:38:23,160 --> 00:38:25,520
...and two...
767
00:38:25,520 --> 00:38:27,400
...and three.
768
00:38:27,400 --> 00:38:29,640
I did it. Three!
769
00:38:29,640 --> 00:38:31,119
Oh, baby.
770
00:38:32,160 --> 00:38:35,312
The Claudia Macpherson Abstiffy.
Have you got one yet?
771
00:38:36,360 --> 00:38:37,953
Habib, yulla, man.
Shh.
772
00:38:43,200 --> 00:38:46,520
Habib, they're blacker
than my soot, man.
773
00:38:46,520 --> 00:38:48,033
That's true.
774
00:39:00,400 --> 00:39:04,560
Far out. Did you know there's
a platypus on our 20 cent piece?
775
00:39:04,560 --> 00:39:06,800
Platypus? Mate,
don't worry about that, bro.
776
00:39:06,800 --> 00:39:09,920
Real pussy, you get that doing
pizza deliveries, mate.
777
00:39:09,920 --> 00:39:13,160
(Screams)
(Yells indistinctly)
778
00:39:13,160 --> 00:39:15,320
Yes! Yes!
779
00:39:15,320 --> 00:39:17,320
(Moans)
Tell me I'm good, baby.
780
00:39:17,320 --> 00:39:19,720
You're so good.
Yeah, I know.
781
00:39:19,720 --> 00:39:21,200
Yeah!
782
00:39:21,200 --> 00:39:24,000
And my favourite, Daniel,
is Lisa the Lebbo.
783
00:39:24,000 --> 00:39:27,680
Bro, when I give it to her,
it's like a war in Lebanon.
784
00:39:27,680 --> 00:39:29,080
(Screams)
785
00:39:29,080 --> 00:39:32,360
But don't ever tell
her brothers, man. They'd kill me.
786
00:39:32,360 --> 00:39:34,200
It's a Lebanese thing, bro.
787
00:39:34,200 --> 00:39:36,360
Aussies don't understand.
788
00:39:36,360 --> 00:39:39,520
Youse think it's alright
to root each other's sisters.
789
00:39:39,520 --> 00:39:41,480
Oh, yeah!
(Gasps)
790
00:39:41,480 --> 00:39:42,960
And get this, man.
791
00:39:42,960 --> 00:39:45,920
My mate Habib, he videotapes
all the sex that I perform —
792
00:39:45,920 --> 00:39:49,120
the girls don't even know —
and he puts it on the Internet.
793
00:39:49,120 --> 00:39:51,200
(Whoops)
794
00:39:51,200 --> 00:39:54,192
(TRADITIONAL FOLK MUSIC)
795
00:40:02,520 --> 00:40:04,000
Hey, Bobo.
796
00:40:04,000 --> 00:40:07,120
Man, has your mail orgy bride
got off the boat yet?
797
00:40:07,120 --> 00:40:10,600
I bet those stamps are the first thing you'
ve licked in a while.
798
00:40:10,600 --> 00:40:12,560
(Dave and Sleek laugh)
799
00:40:12,560 --> 00:40:15,160
(Both scream)
800
00:40:15,160 --> 00:40:16,640
(HORN SOUNDS)
801
00:40:16,640 --> 00:40:20,918
(Man rants indistinctly)
802
00:40:21,920 --> 00:40:23,593
Come back here, you mongrels.
803
00:40:27,360 --> 00:40:28,839
Psst. Psst. Yulla.
804
00:40:33,640 --> 00:40:35,120
Come on.
Shh.
805
00:40:35,120 --> 00:40:36,840
SONG: ♪ It's the gangster here
806
00:40:36,840 --> 00:40:39,200
♪ Gangster. What? What?
Gangster here
807
00:40:39,200 --> 00:40:44,320
♪ Banging in my ride
On the west side
808
00:40:44,320 --> 00:40:46,160
♪ It's the gangster here
809
00:40:46,160 --> 00:40:48,480
♪ Gangster. What? What?
Gangster here
810
00:40:48,480 --> 00:40:53,760
♪ Banging in my ride
On the west side
811
00:40:53,760 --> 00:40:56,000
♪ Let me say what you are
812
00:40:56,000 --> 00:40:58,280
♪ Let me see what you are
813
00:40:58,280 --> 00:41:00,440
♪ See what, see what
See what... ♪
814
00:41:00,440 --> 00:41:02,840
Oh my God,
he's got a prostitute.
815
00:41:02,840 --> 00:41:05,240
SONG: ♪ Gee, what? Gee, what?
Gee, what?
816
00:41:05,240 --> 00:41:07,629
♪ Let me say what you are... ♪
817
00:41:08,720 --> 00:41:10,440
One more time.
818
00:41:10,440 --> 00:41:11,920
Oh, yes. Again.
819
00:41:11,920 --> 00:41:13,797
And one more time.
Come on. Ooh.
820
00:41:14,800 --> 00:41:16,520
That is it.
821
00:41:16,520 --> 00:41:18,880
Do you think
this is gonna work, man?
822
00:41:18,880 --> 00:41:21,240
Of course it's gonna work.
823
00:41:21,240 --> 00:41:24,320
This camera, mate, it's gonna
send pictures to the Internet
824
00:41:24,320 --> 00:41:27,000
so Bobo can see
what these guys are up to.
825
00:41:27,000 --> 00:41:28,480
What a top idea, huh?
826
00:41:28,480 --> 00:41:29,960
Baby, this is it.
827
00:41:29,960 --> 00:41:31,440
He's coming.
This is it.
828
00:41:31,440 --> 00:41:34,114
I want you to stand
over here for me, please.
829
00:41:35,320 --> 00:41:36,799
Turn it off.
Shh.
830
00:41:38,440 --> 00:41:40,920
( CRACK! )
OK, baby, listen.
831
00:41:40,920 --> 00:41:42,400
It's all your fault.
832
00:41:42,400 --> 00:41:44,000
You hit me. You hit me.
833
00:41:44,000 --> 00:41:45,480
Shut up.
Why hit me?
834
00:41:45,480 --> 00:41:47,400
You dropped it.
But why hit me?
835
00:41:47,400 --> 00:41:48,880
Don't talk back.
836
00:41:48,880 --> 00:41:50,800
And maybe even say
the word 'pussy'.
837
00:41:50,800 --> 00:41:53,160
I love the word 'pussy'.
Fabulous word, 'pussy'.
838
00:41:53,160 --> 00:41:56,600
Better than 'piss',
's---' and 'arse'.
839
00:41:56,600 --> 00:41:59,680
'Pussy' is the best word.
Pussy. Pussy, pussy, pussy.
840
00:41:59,680 --> 00:42:01,680
It excites me.
Very, very exciting.
841
00:42:01,680 --> 00:42:03,840
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
842
00:42:03,840 --> 00:42:06,520
All this talk of pussy,
I want to touch one.
843
00:42:06,520 --> 00:42:08,000
'Pussy' — that's the word.
844
00:42:08,000 --> 00:42:09,480
Come on, have some pizza.
845
00:42:09,480 --> 00:42:12,280
Look, mate,
I'll do what you f—--ing want,
846
00:42:12,280 --> 00:42:14,560
but this f—--ing pizza's
making me sick.
847
00:42:14,560 --> 00:42:16,200
Just eat it. Eat it.
848
00:42:16,200 --> 00:42:17,720
It's the best.
849
00:42:17,720 --> 00:42:20,838
Hey, bro.
What did you do before pizzas?
850
00:42:22,520 --> 00:42:25,558
Well, before this...
(MOBILE PHONE RINGS)
851
00:42:28,280 --> 00:42:29,840
Fat chicks.
852
00:42:29,840 --> 00:42:31,560
Sorry, man, where were you?
853
00:42:31,560 --> 00:42:33,040
Well, before this
854
00:42:33,040 --> 00:42:36,080
I was pretty much into drugs
for a long time.
855
00:42:36,080 --> 00:42:39,240
Nothing hard. Pot, mainly.
856
00:42:39,240 --> 00:42:42,840
SONG: ♪ Yeah
The smoke was mean at Engadine
857
00:42:42,840 --> 00:42:46,400
♪ And the smoke was good
at Rivenlvood... ♪
858
00:42:46,400 --> 00:42:50,240
Then I got into religion
just to get off the gear.
859
00:42:50,240 --> 00:42:53,800
(All) Shari Krishna.
Shari Krishna.
860
00:42:53,800 --> 00:42:55,480
It was a bad idea.
861
00:42:55,480 --> 00:42:58,040
(EASTERN MUSIC)
862
00:42:58,040 --> 00:43:00,120
(AIR HORN PLAYS TUNE)
863
00:43:00,120 --> 00:43:01,599
(Laughs)
864
00:43:05,520 --> 00:43:07,480
Well, then I got back into pot.
865
00:43:07,480 --> 00:43:09,400
I was so disillusioned
with the Sharis.
866
00:43:09,400 --> 00:43:12,080
They were so...disillusioning.
867
00:43:12,080 --> 00:43:14,310
Alright, junkies, nobody move.
868
00:43:15,680 --> 00:43:17,320
I said, no-one move.
869
00:43:17,320 --> 00:43:19,914
Thommo, relax.
They're not moving.
870
00:43:22,880 --> 00:43:25,200
For the heinous crime
871
00:43:25,200 --> 00:43:27,840
of possessing
the narcotic, cannabis,
872
00:43:27,840 --> 00:43:33,080
I sentence you
to six years detention.
873
00:43:33,080 --> 00:43:36,080
But due to overcrowding
in the jails,
874
00:43:36,080 --> 00:43:39,520
you may serve your time
on work release.
875
00:43:39,520 --> 00:43:44,280
So they put me on work release
here, for the next six years.
876
00:43:44,280 --> 00:43:45,920
That's tough, bro.
877
00:43:45,920 --> 00:43:49,360
Man, if you ever need anything
to help you through the stress,
878
00:43:49,360 --> 00:43:51,760
my mate Habib,
he's got the sickest buds, man.
879
00:43:51,760 --> 00:43:53,558
He'll hook you up, mate. Sick.
880
00:43:54,560 --> 00:43:57,320
Leave her.
Let me have just one touch.
881
00:43:57,320 --> 00:43:59,240
Oh, my God,
I can't control myself.
882
00:43:59,240 --> 00:44:00,880
Let me have a look, man.
883
00:44:00,880 --> 00:44:03,040
Have a look, but don't touch.
884
00:44:03,040 --> 00:44:05,360
That f—--ing pizza's
making me sick.
885
00:44:05,360 --> 00:44:07,520
No way. No way.
886
00:44:07,520 --> 00:44:10,040
It's definitely not
my nutritious tandoori pizza.
887
00:44:10,040 --> 00:44:11,520
No bloody way.
888
00:44:11,520 --> 00:44:14,120
Now, come on,
say the word 'pussy' again.
889
00:44:14,120 --> 00:44:16,077
(Farts loudly)
890
00:44:17,560 --> 00:44:20,240
Eugh! What the f---?
(Both groan)
891
00:44:20,240 --> 00:44:22,960
(Speaks indistinctly)
892
00:44:22,960 --> 00:44:25,640
It tastes like an off kebab.
I'm out of here.
893
00:44:25,640 --> 00:44:28,640
SONG: ♪ Sick, mate, sick!
Subwoofer!
894
00:44:28,640 --> 00:44:30,160
♪ Sick, mate, sick!
895
00:44:30,160 --> 00:44:31,640
♪ Subwoofer! ♪
896
00:44:31,640 --> 00:44:34,632
(TRADITIONAL FOLK MUSIC)
897
00:44:35,840 --> 00:44:38,480
Hey, what time are we going
to surprise Bobo
898
00:44:38,480 --> 00:44:39,960
with the stripper tonight?
899
00:44:39,960 --> 00:44:42,560
Pauly, bro, I don't know
if I'm going yet.
900
00:44:42,560 --> 00:44:44,440
Habib always gets
them fat strippers, mate.
901
00:44:44,440 --> 00:44:46,238
Remember Rocky's 21st?
902
00:44:48,640 --> 00:44:51,871
SONG: ♪ Well, my fate... ♪
903
00:44:54,640 --> 00:44:56,119
(All scream)
904
00:44:57,520 --> 00:44:58,520
Arggh!
905
00:44:58,520 --> 00:45:01,160
Sleek, you have to come, mate.
906
00:45:01,160 --> 00:45:03,040
You're the only groomsman.
907
00:45:03,040 --> 00:45:06,000
I only said I would do it
in the first place
908
00:45:06,000 --> 00:45:08,440
because Bobo said
I could have a day off.
909
00:45:08,440 --> 00:45:09,920
Look, man, can you please
910
00:45:09,920 --> 00:45:11,840
just get into
this wedding thing properly?
911
00:45:11,840 --> 00:45:14,520
Look, I know you're
a funny-bunny and it's hard,
912
00:45:14,520 --> 00:45:16,400
but this is a heterosexual
tradition, mate.
913
00:45:16,400 --> 00:45:17,879
This is what we do.
914
00:45:29,680 --> 00:45:32,400
Sleek, what are you doing, man?
915
00:45:32,400 --> 00:45:36,240
Dave, I just wanted to let you know,
mate, a small warning.
916
00:45:36,240 --> 00:45:39,760
Beware of Sleek.
He's one of them both-a-sexuals.
917
00:45:39,760 --> 00:45:42,360
He likes to do it
with men and women.
918
00:45:42,360 --> 00:45:44,200
But he won't admit it, mate.
919
00:45:44,200 --> 00:45:46,400
Come on, man.
As if I'm gay, bro.
920
00:45:46,400 --> 00:45:48,800
Oh, well, let me
refresh your memory, Sleek,
921
00:45:48,800 --> 00:45:51,280
to that time we played
tackle football
922
00:45:51,280 --> 00:45:53,320
and you turned it into touch.
923
00:45:53,320 --> 00:45:56,278
Get up. What are you doing?
924
00:45:57,640 --> 00:45:59,472
Get up.
(All shout)
925
00:46:01,680 --> 00:46:03,160
Hey!
926
00:46:03,160 --> 00:46:06,240
I'm not paying you bludgers
three bucks an hour
927
00:46:06,240 --> 00:46:08,400
to sit on your arses!
928
00:46:08,400 --> 00:46:11,560
(OPERATIC MUSIC)
929
00:46:11,560 --> 00:46:13,040
(All shout)
930
00:46:13,040 --> 00:46:16,032
(OPERATIC MUSIC CONTINUES)
931
00:46:21,640 --> 00:46:23,677
Bugger.
(Woman screams)
932
00:46:24,680 --> 00:46:27,069
Oh, double bugger.
Hey, mate. Mate.
933
00:46:28,160 --> 00:46:31,120
You haven't seen a bunch
of slope-eyed reffos, have you?
934
00:46:31,120 --> 00:46:32,720
They just stole me ute.
935
00:46:32,720 --> 00:46:36,395
F---! Just what we need —
more f—--ing Asian drivers!
936
00:46:37,520 --> 00:46:39,400
(Sighs)
What the f--- happened to you?
937
00:46:39,400 --> 00:46:40,880
Kangaroo, mate.
938
00:46:40,880 --> 00:46:42,560
Yeah.
Well, that happens, doesn't it?
939
00:46:42,560 --> 00:46:44,039
Fair enough.
940
00:46:44,200 --> 00:46:45,679
(TELEPHONE RINGS)
941
00:46:46,760 --> 00:46:49,720
Fat Pizza pizzas.
They're big and they're cheesy.
942
00:46:49,720 --> 00:46:52,120
(SIREN WAILS)
Bobo, I found phone.
943
00:46:52,120 --> 00:46:55,078
It's me, Lin Chow.
I come your house.
944
00:46:56,320 --> 00:46:59,000
Hello!
Kiss-kiss, love-love.
945
00:46:59,000 --> 00:47:05,235
SONG: ♪ Enchanted
I'm caught by surprise
946
00:47:06,280 --> 00:47:10,911
♪ Watching the light
in your eyes
947
00:47:11,920 --> 00:47:15,240
♪ You smile
and heaven must be... ♪
948
00:47:15,240 --> 00:47:16,799
Arggh!
949
00:47:19,080 --> 00:47:20,800
(Screams repeatedly)
950
00:47:20,800 --> 00:47:23,360
She's coming.
951
00:47:23,360 --> 00:47:24,839
I've wanted to see you.
952
00:47:25,840 --> 00:47:27,956
Hey, excuse me, Sleek.
953
00:47:30,080 --> 00:47:31,080
(Cries)
954
00:47:31,080 --> 00:47:36,880
♪ The thrill of your fingers
in mine... ♪
955
00:47:36,880 --> 00:47:40,236
(Growls ferociously)
956
00:47:42,520 --> 00:47:43,999
Arggh! Arggh!
957
00:47:45,560 --> 00:47:47,040
(Dog whimpers)
958
00:47:47,040 --> 00:47:50,032
(CONFUSED HUBBUB)
959
00:47:52,600 --> 00:47:54,080
(Rings doorbell)
960
00:47:54,080 --> 00:47:56,360
Aha!
961
00:47:56,360 --> 00:48:03,391
♪ To find your soul
in a kiss... ♪
962
00:48:04,880 --> 00:48:07,872
(CONFUSED HUBBUB CONTINUES)
963
00:48:09,360 --> 00:48:13,040
♪ That's said and yet somehow
not heard... ♪
964
00:48:13,040 --> 00:48:15,240
(TELEPHONE RINGS)
965
00:48:15,240 --> 00:48:18,160
Fat Pizza pizzas.
They're big and they're cheesy.
966
00:48:18,160 --> 00:48:22,080
Please don't marry
this Chinesie.
967
00:48:22,080 --> 00:48:26,040
Let me get you
a good Italian girl.
968
00:48:26,040 --> 00:48:29,720
Mama, I love you, but all
the Italian girls you got me,
969
00:48:29,720 --> 00:48:31,280
they were no good.
970
00:48:31,280 --> 00:48:36,160
♪ La, la, la, la, la... ♪
971
00:48:36,160 --> 00:48:37,800
(WARNING BELLS RING)
972
00:48:37,800 --> 00:48:39,720
Mama, listen.
973
00:48:39,720 --> 00:48:41,400
I'm closing the shop early
tonight,
974
00:48:41,400 --> 00:48:44,760
so that I can get it
nice and clean for Lin Chow.
975
00:48:44,760 --> 00:48:46,240
She's gonna work here too.
976
00:48:46,240 --> 00:48:49,471
Now, Mama, promise me
you'll be nice when she gets there.
977
00:48:50,480 --> 00:48:52,120
You bitch!
978
00:48:52,120 --> 00:48:54,320
(Screams)
979
00:48:54,320 --> 00:48:56,400
Puttana!
980
00:48:56,400 --> 00:49:00,155
You give me my Bobo back!
(Screams)
981
00:49:02,720 --> 00:49:05,600
(Thinks) I hope Lin Chow's
beautiful in person,
982
00:49:05,600 --> 00:49:07,800
just like Claudia.
983
00:49:07,800 --> 00:49:10,080
(DISCO MUSIC)
Oh, yeah!
984
00:49:10,080 --> 00:49:13,280
Oh, yeah!
985
00:49:13,280 --> 00:49:15,120
Yeah!
986
00:49:15,120 --> 00:49:19,040
(DREAMY MUSIC)
987
00:49:19,040 --> 00:49:22,032
(RAUNCHY MUSIC)
988
00:49:31,280 --> 00:49:34,520
No more orders today.
We're closing early.
989
00:49:34,520 --> 00:49:36,400
What's going on?
990
00:49:36,400 --> 00:49:39,480
Lin Chow's off the boat.
991
00:49:39,480 --> 00:49:40,960
I'm getting married.
992
00:49:40,960 --> 00:49:43,360
Look, Bobo, man,
I'm very glad for you,
993
00:49:43,360 --> 00:49:45,720
with your wedding being
organised now — that's good.
994
00:49:45,720 --> 00:49:47,440
But we've got a problem.
995
00:49:47,440 --> 00:49:49,640
We went to lots of trouble
for tonight.
996
00:49:49,640 --> 00:49:51,240
You can't close the shop, man.
997
00:49:51,240 --> 00:49:54,200
We've got chicks coming.
We've got a buck's party for you.
998
00:49:54,200 --> 00:49:56,680
Don't want one.
You're joking.
999
00:49:56,680 --> 00:49:59,080
Bobo, I know
it's just my first day here,
1000
00:49:59,080 --> 00:50:01,760
but it's your last few hours
as a free man.
1001
00:50:01,760 --> 00:50:05,040
It'd be wrong not to get pissed
with naked chicks.
1002
00:50:05,040 --> 00:50:06,080
Shut up!
1003
00:50:06,080 --> 00:50:08,560
Very un-Australian of you, mate.Very
un-Australian.
1004
00:50:08,560 --> 00:50:11,000
I'm very disappointed...mate.
Shut up!
1005
00:50:11,000 --> 00:50:13,960
Look, the only reason
I did your whole best man thing
1006
00:50:13,960 --> 00:50:16,920
was to get to the buck's party
for the nude chicks.
1007
00:50:16,920 --> 00:50:19,320
If that's out, mate,
then, look, I'm not involved.
1008
00:50:19,320 --> 00:50:21,920
We're not working.
I'm making a strike, mate.
1009
00:50:21,920 --> 00:50:25,080
No work, nothing!
I want to see the nude chicks, man.
1010
00:50:25,080 --> 00:50:27,400
Bobo, bro, you better
see some pussy
1011
00:50:27,400 --> 00:50:28,880
before you get married, mate.
1012
00:50:28,880 --> 00:50:31,600
You don't even know
what it looks, or smells, like,
1013
00:50:31,600 --> 00:50:34,760
and take it from me, man —
it's a jungle down there.
1014
00:50:34,760 --> 00:50:38,400
Um, excuse me, who is the owner
of this very establishment?
1015
00:50:38,400 --> 00:50:40,120
I am.
1016
00:50:40,120 --> 00:50:42,320
Who wants to know?
1017
00:50:42,320 --> 00:50:44,000
I'm from the Department of Health.
1018
00:50:44,000 --> 00:50:45,920
We call this a 'spot check'.
1019
00:50:45,920 --> 00:50:48,520
Bobo, I gotta use the toilet,
man.
1020
00:50:48,520 --> 00:50:52,280
Any paper you use, Sleek,
you pay for it.
1021
00:50:52,280 --> 00:50:56,120
Yeah, I know. $1 a sheet.
Go on.
1022
00:50:56,120 --> 00:50:58,589
(CHIRPING)
1023
00:51:02,160 --> 00:51:04,240
Foreign articles
in prepared food.
1024
00:51:04,240 --> 00:51:05,840
That's eight demerit points.
1025
00:51:05,840 --> 00:51:07,680
How long is this gonna take?
1026
00:51:07,680 --> 00:51:09,320
Statistically speaking,
1027
00:51:09,320 --> 00:51:11,400
the mean average for
any atypical inspection
1028
00:51:11,400 --> 00:51:13,720
is around five to six hours.
1029
00:51:13,720 --> 00:51:15,400
But this one could take longer.
1030
00:51:15,400 --> 00:51:17,720
Hey, Bobo, how 'bout this...
this bloke
1031
00:51:17,720 --> 00:51:19,760
finishes all
the inspectionalising,
1032
00:51:19,760 --> 00:51:22,000
then we get the strippers in
1033
00:51:22,000 --> 00:51:25,277
and then, like,
it's the nipples...you know?
1034
00:51:26,480 --> 00:51:29,680
Hey, Sleek, man, you gonna come
out with us for some drinks
1035
00:51:29,680 --> 00:51:31,160
before the strippers later?
1036
00:51:31,160 --> 00:51:32,880
Yeah, Pauly, but, hey, man,
1037
00:51:32,880 --> 00:51:35,440
only if we go to
the Falgudo Club, bro.
1038
00:51:35,440 --> 00:51:37,880
(MOBILE PHONE RINGS)
1039
00:51:37,880 --> 00:51:39,440
Lebanese lover.
1040
00:51:39,440 --> 00:51:41,360
Hey, Tina, how are you, baby?
1041
00:51:41,360 --> 00:51:44,800
You know I love you, heaps.
(Farts)
1042
00:51:44,800 --> 00:51:47,000
Yeah, I'm thinking about you
right now, babe.
1043
00:51:47,000 --> 00:51:49,760
Right now, as we speak.
(Farts noisily)
1044
00:51:49,760 --> 00:51:52,320
Oh, God.
1045
00:51:52,320 --> 00:51:55,160
I have put the camera
in the wrong position.
1046
00:51:55,160 --> 00:51:58,360
This tells us nothing about
their business activities.
1047
00:51:58,360 --> 00:52:00,000
(Farts)
1048
00:52:00,000 --> 00:52:01,960
Oh, shut up!
1049
00:52:01,960 --> 00:52:04,240
SONG: ♪ Oh, yeah, babe
♪ Come on
1050
00:52:04,240 --> 00:52:06,440
♪ I know what you want
♪ Give it to me
1051
00:52:06,440 --> 00:52:07,840
♪ Just dial my number
1052
00:52:07,840 --> 00:52:10,120
♪ I'm the pizza man
♪ Come on
1053
00:52:10,120 --> 00:52:12,040
♪ Call that pizza
♪ Call me
1054
00:52:12,040 --> 00:52:14,680
♪ Call that pizza man
♪ He's the man
1055
00:52:14,680 --> 00:52:16,680
♪ Call that pizza
1056
00:52:16,680 --> 00:52:19,120
♪ 'Cause I'm in demand
♪ Give it up
1057
00:52:19,120 --> 00:52:23,360
♪ Call that pizza
Call that pizza man
1058
00:52:23,360 --> 00:52:25,840
♪ Come on, call that pizza
1059
00:52:25,840 --> 00:52:27,480
♪ 'Cause I'm in demand
1060
00:52:27,480 --> 00:52:30,360
♪ I'll give it to you hot
and piping, quick like lightning
1061
00:52:30,360 --> 00:52:33,120
♪ Banging on your door
like it's so frightening
1062
00:52:33,120 --> 00:52:34,600
♪ You want the lot, rely on me
1063
00:52:34,600 --> 00:52:37,240
♪ I'm right on time
with the delivery
1064
00:52:37,240 --> 00:52:39,360
♪ On the phone to Uncle
What will it be?
1065
00:52:39,360 --> 00:52:41,640
♪ Get it fresh
That's work from AB
1066
00:52:41,640 --> 00:52:43,600
♪ How much you want?
Quick to the spot
1067
00:52:43,600 --> 00:52:45,840
♪ Whether you want a little
Whether you want a lot
1068
00:52:45,840 --> 00:52:47,760
♪ It's me... ♪
1069
00:52:47,760 --> 00:52:50,560
We are not stooges anymore.
1070
00:52:50,560 --> 00:52:53,360
J" Pump the juice, push flavour
It's me they want
1071
00:52:53,360 --> 00:52:55,080
♪ Pizza boy, no front
1072
00:52:55,080 --> 00:52:57,520
♪ I got the hot box
1073
00:52:57,520 --> 00:52:59,720
♪ Let me give it up
♪ You gotta give it up, baby
1074
00:52:59,720 --> 00:53:02,000
♪ I want your hot box
1075
00:53:02,000 --> 00:53:04,280
♪ Let me give it up
1076
00:53:04,280 --> 00:53:06,520
♪ Call that pizza
1077
00:53:06,520 --> 00:53:08,800
♪ Call that pizza man
♪ Call me up
1078
00:53:08,800 --> 00:53:11,040
♪ Call that pizza
1079
00:53:11,040 --> 00:53:14,000
♪ 'Cause I'm in demand... ♪
(MOBILE PHONE RINGS)
1080
00:53:14,000 --> 00:53:16,760
Habib, man, what is it, bro?
I'm in the shower.
1081
00:53:16,760 --> 00:53:19,760
Guess what — I put the condom on
nice and early
1082
00:53:19,760 --> 00:53:22,440
just in case I get some action
with the chicks.
1083
00:53:22,440 --> 00:53:24,000
Hey, these are really good.
1084
00:53:24,000 --> 00:53:25,480
I've been reading the packet.
1085
00:53:25,480 --> 00:53:29,440
It says here it stops
dick and pussy diseases.
1086
00:53:29,440 --> 00:53:31,000
SONG: ♪ Sick, mate, sick! ♪
1087
00:53:31,000 --> 00:53:33,000
(DOORBELL RINGS)
1088
00:53:33,000 --> 00:53:34,480
(Sobs)
1089
00:53:34,480 --> 00:53:37,472
(FOREBODING MUSIC)
1090
00:53:39,080 --> 00:53:41,080
We look for Bobo.
1091
00:53:41,080 --> 00:53:44,994
(JAUNTY MUSIC)
1092
00:53:45,120 --> 00:53:47,200
SONG: ♪ Where's the chicks?
Where's the chicks?
1093
00:53:47,200 --> 00:53:48,400
♪ Where's the chicks?
1094
00:53:48,400 --> 00:53:50,640
(Women sing) ♪ Here we are!
Here we are! ♪
1095
00:53:50,640 --> 00:53:52,600
Chicks, chicks, chicks!
Chicks! Chicks!
1096
00:53:52,600 --> 00:53:55,560
(All shout)
1097
00:53:55,560 --> 00:53:57,040
♪ Here we are!
Here we are! ♪
1098
00:53:57,040 --> 00:53:59,000
Oh, yeah!
1099
00:53:59,000 --> 00:54:02,160
♪ We might be
so good together, boy
1100
00:54:02,160 --> 00:54:04,320
♪ Don't make me wait
forever... ♪
1101
00:54:04,320 --> 00:54:05,800
Oh, my God!
1102
00:54:05,800 --> 00:54:09,120
♪ I don't know what you've been
hearing, boy... ♪
1103
00:54:09,120 --> 00:54:10,554
That's bullshit!
1104
00:54:14,360 --> 00:54:15,840
No, no, mate!
1105
00:54:15,840 --> 00:54:17,920
Don't give him any money.
No, mate!
1106
00:54:17,920 --> 00:54:20,560
(All shout)
Go get him, man!
1107
00:54:20,560 --> 00:54:23,280
Mate, you stooge. We said no!
Come here, man!
1108
00:54:23,280 --> 00:54:24,920
We don't want it, mate!
1109
00:54:24,920 --> 00:54:27,150
(All shout)
1110
00:54:29,720 --> 00:54:32,000
(All laugh)
1111
00:54:32,000 --> 00:54:33,911
One more?
ALL: Yeah!
1112
00:54:35,480 --> 00:54:37,080
(All cheer)
1113
00:54:37,080 --> 00:54:40,120
SONG: ♪ Chicks, chicks, chicks
Chicks, chicks, chicks
1114
00:54:40,120 --> 00:54:41,760
♪ Chick, chicks, chicks... ♪
1115
00:54:41,760 --> 00:54:43,831
Hey, wait a minute.
1116
00:54:45,720 --> 00:54:47,720
(All cheer)
( BELL RINGS )
1117
00:54:47,720 --> 00:54:49,279
(All gasp)
1118
00:54:50,320 --> 00:54:52,200
SONG: ♪ Chicks, chicks
Chicks... ♪
1119
00:54:52,200 --> 00:54:53,680
(Mumbles)
1120
00:54:53,680 --> 00:54:56,320
(Mumbles) Come on, man.
What are you doing?
1121
00:54:56,320 --> 00:54:57,800
Idiot!
1122
00:54:57,800 --> 00:55:01,236
( ROMANTIC ITALIAN MUSIC)
1123
00:55:02,960 --> 00:55:04,880
The placing
of used contraceptive devices
1124
00:55:04,880 --> 00:55:07,480
in prepared food
is expressly forbidden.
1125
00:55:07,480 --> 00:55:09,869
That's 50 demerit points.
(TELEPHONE RINGS)
1126
00:55:11,520 --> 00:55:13,000
We're closed.
1127
00:55:13,000 --> 00:55:15,320
Bobo, you listen to your mama.
1128
00:55:15,320 --> 00:55:18,440
Your Chinesie is here,
and you know something?
1129
00:55:18,440 --> 00:55:22,640
She bring the whole
bloody country with her.
1130
00:55:22,640 --> 00:55:24,680
(DANCE MUSIC)
1131
00:55:24,680 --> 00:55:27,360
Hey, no smoking in this club,
mate.
1132
00:55:27,360 --> 00:55:31,240
They're not smokes, man.
They're condoms.
1133
00:55:31,240 --> 00:55:32,958
I'm getting ready
for the chicks.
1134
00:55:33,960 --> 00:55:35,473
Yeah, yeah, alright. Go on.
1135
00:55:36,680 --> 00:55:39,115
Uh-uh. No hats allowed
in this club.
1136
00:55:40,600 --> 00:55:42,080
Oh, come on, man.
1137
00:55:42,080 --> 00:55:45,120
Look, there was two of 'em
just walked in wearing hats.
1138
00:55:45,120 --> 00:55:46,600
Yeah, alright.
You're too short.
1139
00:55:46,600 --> 00:55:51,240
And you're...you're an Aussie.
Oh...
1140
00:55:51,240 --> 00:55:53,231
Get. Get!
1141
00:55:55,360 --> 00:55:58,352
(DANCE MUSIC)
1142
00:56:06,560 --> 00:56:09,120
(Man sings) ♪ Bass
1143
00:56:13,640 --> 00:56:16,473
♪ Bass
1144
00:56:19,640 --> 00:56:22,473
♪ Touch the sky
Bass
1145
00:56:26,200 --> 00:56:28,320
♪ I don't know why
Bass... ♪
1146
00:56:28,320 --> 00:56:29,833
(DOG BARKS)
1147
00:56:33,240 --> 00:56:34,720
♪ Touch the sky
Bass
1148
00:56:34,720 --> 00:56:37,200
♪ I don't know why sometimes
you don't want to touch the sky
1149
00:56:37,200 --> 00:56:38,200
♪ Bass
1150
00:56:38,200 --> 00:56:41,680
♪ I don't know why sometimes
you don't want to touch the sky
1151
00:56:41,680 --> 00:56:43,920
♪ I don't know why sometimes
you don't want to touch the sky
1152
00:56:43,920 --> 00:56:44,920
♪ Bass
1153
00:56:44,920 --> 00:56:47,960
♪ I don't know why sometimes
you don't want to touch the sky
1154
00:56:47,960 --> 00:56:49,837
♪ Bass... ♪
1155
00:56:53,560 --> 00:56:55,560
(Dog whimpers)
1156
00:56:55,560 --> 00:56:59,235
(Dog whimpers and growls)
1157
00:57:01,440 --> 00:57:03,800
Look, don't even worry about
that Falgudo Club, man.
1158
00:57:03,800 --> 00:57:05,680
There's too many guys in there
anyway.
1159
00:57:05,680 --> 00:57:07,880
Look, what we need is a top club
1160
00:57:07,880 --> 00:57:11,400
with a ratio of, what, you know,
three chicks to every one guy,
1161
00:57:11,400 --> 00:57:13,360
and chicks that like
short and tall.
1162
00:57:13,360 --> 00:57:14,840
What about this place?
1163
00:57:14,840 --> 00:57:17,992
(JAUNTY MUSIC)
1164
00:57:50,400 --> 00:57:53,597
I just like chicks.
Is that wrong?
1165
00:57:57,640 --> 00:57:59,920
Sorry, boys,
it's short night tonight.
1166
00:57:59,920 --> 00:58:05,040
Oh, well, look, you know,
he's tall, definitely, but I'm short.
1167
00:58:05,040 --> 00:58:08,080
Yeah, sorry, mate,
not short enough.
1168
00:58:08,080 --> 00:58:11,072
(TECHNO MUSIC)
1169
00:58:17,200 --> 00:58:18,679
Arggh!
1170
00:58:21,560 --> 00:58:24,560
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
1171
00:58:24,560 --> 00:58:26,040
I couldn't help wondering —
1172
00:58:26,040 --> 00:58:28,480
do you ever get any negative
feedback from customers?
1173
00:58:28,480 --> 00:58:29,959
(Shouts) No!
1174
00:58:31,800 --> 00:58:33,480
We're closed.
1175
00:58:33,480 --> 00:58:34,959
(Speaks foreign language)
1176
00:58:46,720 --> 00:58:49,792
(CHAINSAW ROARS )
1177
00:58:54,120 --> 00:58:55,120
Eh?
1178
00:58:55,120 --> 00:58:57,560
Insensitivity
to the culinary tastes
1179
00:58:57,560 --> 00:59:00,080
of ethnic
and/or religious groups.
1180
00:59:00,080 --> 00:59:01,680
That's eight demerit points.
1181
00:59:01,680 --> 00:59:04,000
You're not travelling too well
here.
1182
00:59:04,000 --> 00:59:06,960
I swear, the midgets, they were
much stronger than they looked.
1183
00:59:06,960 --> 00:59:08,439
Hey!
1184
00:59:09,680 --> 00:59:12,840
Must be one of them, like,
celebrity parties and that.
1185
00:59:12,840 --> 00:59:14,680
(All shout)
1186
00:59:14,680 --> 00:59:17,399
Hey, look at this,
who's getting out of that car.
1187
00:59:20,040 --> 00:59:22,080
Mate, it's that magician,
David Cockerfield.
1188
00:59:22,080 --> 00:59:24,280
I know.
I took him a pizza today.
1189
00:59:24,280 --> 00:59:25,920
You delivered it to him?
Seriously?
1190
00:59:25,920 --> 00:59:27,800
Yeah, and his girlfriend —
Claudia, the supermodel.
1191
00:59:27,800 --> 00:59:30,320
He's not going out with
Claudia, is he?!
1192
00:59:30,320 --> 00:59:33,120
How do these magicians
get the good-looking chicks?
1193
00:59:33,120 --> 00:59:36,600
Alright, they got hocus-pocus,
but basically, they're nerds.
1194
00:59:36,600 --> 00:59:40,480
Look at him.
You're a nerd, Cockerfield!
1195
00:59:40,480 --> 00:59:43,560
Yeah, come on, mate,
do magic on me.
1196
00:59:43,560 --> 00:59:46,240
(OMINOUS MUSIC)
1197
00:59:46,240 --> 00:59:48,320
You're a nerd, mate.
1198
00:59:48,320 --> 00:59:51,312
(DANCE MUSIC)
1199
00:59:54,680 --> 00:59:56,800
(FARTING NOISE)
1200
00:59:56,800 --> 01:00:00,920
Oh, yeah! Oh!
Oh, yeah.
1201
01:00:00,920 --> 01:00:03,240
(Farts) Habib, what do you want,
man?!
1202
01:00:03,240 --> 01:00:04,913
F--- off! (Farts) Piss off!
1203
01:00:06,760 --> 01:00:09,434
Yulla! Give it to me, yeah!
1204
01:00:10,480 --> 01:00:13,560
(Woman gasps)
Habib, how are you, bro?
1205
01:00:13,560 --> 01:00:15,600
Go for it, Sleeky, go for it.
1206
01:00:15,600 --> 01:00:19,400
Any hole's a goal, Habib.
Give her one for me. Slam her.
1207
01:00:19,400 --> 01:00:21,640
Habib, f--- off, man,
or you'll get wet.
1208
01:00:21,640 --> 01:00:22,880
(Both gasp)
1209
01:00:22,880 --> 01:00:26,480
Alright, what we do, we just go in,
act important, alright?
1210
01:00:26,480 --> 01:00:28,320
Important. Like celebrities.
1211
01:00:28,320 --> 01:00:29,799
Let's go.
1212
01:00:32,760 --> 01:00:35,440
MAN: Who have we got here?
(All chatter)
1213
01:00:35,440 --> 01:00:37,200
MAN: I think
that's Jeff Fenech.
1214
01:00:37,200 --> 01:00:39,960
Can I have your names, please?
1215
01:00:39,960 --> 01:00:43,440
Um, yes, we are on the list.
We are famous boxers. (Stammers)
1216
01:00:43,440 --> 01:00:46,360
This is champion from Sweden,
Hans,
1217
01:00:46,360 --> 01:00:50,480
and I am Jeff Fenech,
five, um and er, world times,
1218
01:00:50,480 --> 01:00:52,357
um and er, Aussie champion.
1219
01:00:54,480 --> 01:00:56,471
Hey, you're Jeff Fenech?
1220
01:00:57,880 --> 01:01:00,440
I love youse all...um and er.
1221
01:01:00,440 --> 01:01:03,160
SONG: ♪ Sick, mate, sick!
Subwoofer! ♪
1222
01:01:03,160 --> 01:01:07,840
OK, come on. What's the word?
The very special word?
1223
01:01:07,840 --> 01:01:12,000
My favourite word, it's...
pussy.
1224
01:01:12,000 --> 01:01:13,480
(Both gasp)
1225
01:01:13,480 --> 01:01:16,760
That's the word, pussy.
Whoo!
1226
01:01:16,760 --> 01:01:18,720
Say it in any style,
it's pussy.
1227
01:01:18,720 --> 01:01:20,160
(Both gasp)
1228
01:01:20,160 --> 01:01:22,600
Because we are the masters,
the masters of...
1229
01:01:22,600 --> 01:01:26,120
(Both gasp and squeal)
Pussy. Pussy, pussy, pussy.
1230
01:01:26,120 --> 01:01:27,600
(Squeals)
Oh, yeah.
1231
01:01:27,600 --> 01:01:30,640
(MOBILE PHONE RINGS)
1232
01:01:30,640 --> 01:01:34,000
(Squeals)
Lebanese lover.
1233
01:01:34,000 --> 01:01:36,200
Hello, Sleek. Hi.
1234
01:01:36,200 --> 01:01:38,960
(Squeals) Who was that?
My grandmother.
1235
01:01:38,960 --> 01:01:42,000
She just got back from Lebanon —
I gotta pick her up,
1236
01:01:42,000 --> 01:01:44,680
so, babe, sorry, but we gotta
make this a quickie.
1237
01:01:44,680 --> 01:01:47,760
(MOBILE PHONE RINGS)
Hello!
1238
01:01:47,760 --> 01:01:50,840
Pauly! It's Habib.
Are you there? Where are you?
1239
01:01:50,840 --> 01:01:54,040
Yeah, I don't know. Where are
we, man? There's a building.
1240
01:01:54,040 --> 01:01:57,880
Um, there's a bar.
Pauly, man, hey!
1241
01:01:57,880 --> 01:02:01,840
Habib, what was going on
with this Falgudo Club, man?
1242
01:02:01,840 --> 01:02:04,560
Don't worry about the Falgudo
Club, man, it's shit.
1243
01:02:04,560 --> 01:02:06,280
There's cops, there's dogs,
1244
01:02:06,280 --> 01:02:09,320
and Rocky and Sleeky,
they're rooting glamours, mate.
1245
01:02:09,320 --> 01:02:10,880
(Screams)
1246
01:02:10,880 --> 01:02:12,440
(Shouts) Sucked in, Habib!
1247
01:02:12,440 --> 01:02:14,680
I know a place
with heaps of chicks.
1248
01:02:14,680 --> 01:02:16,159
Do they root?
1249
01:02:17,840 --> 01:02:20,719
(FUNKY MUSIC)
1250
01:02:27,560 --> 01:02:29,480
Wrestler's Arms, thanks, mate.
1251
01:02:29,480 --> 01:02:32,280
Wicked cab.
It's a made-to-score cab, man.
1252
01:02:32,280 --> 01:02:35,240
Pauly, this taxi's
unbelievable.
1253
01:02:35,240 --> 01:02:37,920
We should stay here, man,
it's better than a nightclub.
1254
01:02:37,920 --> 01:02:41,640
Come on, man, no, I want to go
somewhere where there's chicks.
1255
01:02:41,640 --> 01:02:43,800
I'm sick of the chicks
in the city.
1256
01:02:43,800 --> 01:02:46,000
I want to go back
to Surfers Paradise.
1257
01:02:46,000 --> 01:02:49,640
That was a top trip.
I loved it. It was a top trip.
1258
01:02:49,640 --> 01:02:51,160
(Girls gasp)
You're so good.
1259
01:02:51,160 --> 01:02:53,400
Sleek, come on, man, let me in.
1260
01:02:53,400 --> 01:02:57,189
Come on. I swear to God I won't
premature ejaculate this time.
1261
01:02:58,720 --> 01:03:01,040
Look what the chicks
are doing to Sleeky.
1262
01:03:01,040 --> 01:03:03,960
(SQUIRT! )
I think I've come.
1263
01:03:03,960 --> 01:03:06,520
Yeah, I never made it
as far as Surfers.
1264
01:03:06,520 --> 01:03:08,840
Nimbin was wicked, though.
Phwoar.
1265
01:03:08,840 --> 01:03:11,840
(LAIDBACK MUSIC)
1266
01:03:11,840 --> 01:03:13,717
How good is this?
1267
01:03:15,800 --> 01:03:18,520
Well, I'm glad youse have all
had a good time
1268
01:03:18,520 --> 01:03:20,000
with the Queensland's chicks,
1269
01:03:20,000 --> 01:03:23,000
because I wanted to go
and have a good time too,
1270
01:03:23,000 --> 01:03:25,520
but who stooged me, Habib?
1271
01:03:25,520 --> 01:03:27,720
Paulie, that's the gap there,
man.
1272
01:03:27,720 --> 01:03:29,360
You gotta go through
1273
01:03:29,360 --> 01:03:32,320
and pretend you belong there,
alright?
1274
01:03:32,320 --> 01:03:35,440
It's a top scam, I swear.
I'll see you in Surfers.
1275
01:03:35,440 --> 01:03:39,120
(ACTION MUSIC)
1276
01:03:39,120 --> 01:03:41,520
Habib told me it was
the first-class door —
1277
01:03:41,520 --> 01:03:44,400
I just had to walk in
and I'd get upgraded.
1278
01:03:44,400 --> 01:03:46,640
So, man, I snuck in,
I tried it,
1279
01:03:46,640 --> 01:03:49,792
and I have to admit, at first,
I thought it worked.
1280
01:03:51,120 --> 01:03:54,590
Excuse me, sir. Would you like
some champagne?
1281
01:04:00,000 --> 01:04:03,320
Oh, that's good. More, please.
1282
01:04:03,320 --> 01:04:05,840
But after four hours, mate,
I'm thinking to myself,
1283
01:04:05,840 --> 01:04:09,040
“Hey, it doesn't take this long
to get to Surfers, man.”
1284
01:04:09,040 --> 01:04:10,520
And I was worried too
1285
01:04:10,520 --> 01:04:14,080
about getting that deep vein
thrombonis, like, in the penis,
1286
01:04:14,080 --> 01:04:16,000
'cause that happens, mate,
you know.
1287
01:04:16,000 --> 01:04:17,600
So I went into the toilet,
1288
01:04:17,600 --> 01:04:20,280
'cause you must let the veins
breathe in them cases.
1289
01:04:20,280 --> 01:04:22,400
You must give it air.
1290
01:04:22,400 --> 01:04:25,680
Next thing I know, the plane
gets a bit of that turbulence,
1291
01:04:25,680 --> 01:04:28,640
and, you know, my clothes,
they get sucked down the toilet.
1292
01:04:28,640 --> 01:04:31,160
(TECHNO MUSIC)
1293
01:04:31,160 --> 01:04:33,840
Hey, Habib, where did the plane
take me, mate, hey?
1294
01:04:33,840 --> 01:04:34,960
Where?
1295
01:04:34,960 --> 01:04:37,840
It was the bumpkin lands,
1296
01:04:37,840 --> 01:04:40,320
full of people with big heads
and big ears,
1297
01:04:40,320 --> 01:04:41,800
in the Northern Territories.
1298
01:04:41,800 --> 01:04:44,040
Man, I think it was called
Alice Darwins.
1299
01:04:44,040 --> 01:04:48,520
Excuse me, matey.
Are you an Australian?
1300
01:04:48,520 --> 01:04:50,720
I don't know what
the communication problem was,
1301
01:04:50,720 --> 01:04:52,920
but they thought
I was an illegal refugee.
1302
01:04:52,920 --> 01:04:55,160
With my good English,
I couldn't believe it.
1303
01:04:55,160 --> 01:05:00,280
(Slowly) Do you have
a passport?
1304
01:05:00,280 --> 01:05:02,680
Officers, I don't need
a passport.
1305
01:05:02,680 --> 01:05:05,680
I'm 100%
dinkus di Australian, man.
1306
01:05:05,680 --> 01:05:08,000
(Laughs hysterically)
1307
01:05:08,000 --> 01:05:11,595
They stuck me in one of them
detention centres, Woomerus.
1308
01:05:11,720 --> 01:05:15,111
(ROCK MUSIC)
1309
01:05:17,240 --> 01:05:19,680
Oh, mate, youse can't expect us
to eat this.
1310
01:05:19,680 --> 01:05:21,840
What the hell are these?
Plastic chips, mate!
1311
01:05:21,840 --> 01:05:24,760
And what's this? Don't youse
have a cappuccino machine here?
1312
01:05:24,760 --> 01:05:27,280
I thought this camp
was for chockos!
1313
01:05:27,280 --> 01:05:30,160
The thing is with refugees,
they're not very smart.
1314
01:05:30,160 --> 01:05:33,120
So it's very easy
to convince 'em to do things.
1315
01:05:33,120 --> 01:05:36,760
Let's do a riot, mate!
(All shout)
1316
01:05:36,760 --> 01:05:39,752
(EXCITING MUSIC)
1317
01:05:41,440 --> 01:05:42,920
Stop, stop, stop!
1318
01:05:42,920 --> 01:05:45,280
Look, youse refugees stick out
like dogs' balls.
1319
01:05:45,280 --> 01:05:48,400
We're gonna get caught.
Go that way, to Mecca. Go!
1320
01:05:48,400 --> 01:05:51,200
And youse, there's money
in them bushes, money.
1321
01:05:51,200 --> 01:05:53,360
(All shout)
Stooges.
1322
01:05:53,360 --> 01:05:56,239
(COMICAL CHASE MUSIC)
1323
01:06:02,720 --> 01:06:05,712
(TRICKLING)
1324
01:06:06,880 --> 01:06:09,880
(MUSIC RESUMES)
1325
01:06:09,880 --> 01:06:12,640
Man, I'm starving!
1326
01:06:12,640 --> 01:06:16,000
This hokey desert, there's not
even one bush animal to eat.
1327
01:06:16,000 --> 01:06:18,800
Hey! It's a tent.
1328
01:06:18,800 --> 01:06:21,080
There's food in tents.
1329
01:06:21,080 --> 01:06:22,560
Lucky.
1330
01:06:22,560 --> 01:06:25,552
(EXCITING MUSIC)
1331
01:06:31,080 --> 01:06:32,991
That...that feels like
a chicken.
1332
01:06:35,960 --> 01:06:37,359
(Gurgles)
1333
01:06:42,440 --> 01:06:44,520
Ooh, it's a dingo.
1334
01:06:44,520 --> 01:06:47,240
These things,
they're just like Lassie.
1335
01:06:47,240 --> 01:06:48,920
I'll give you back to him,
1336
01:06:48,920 --> 01:06:50,800
he'll take you back
to your mother.
1337
01:06:50,800 --> 01:06:52,916
(Whimpers)
Dingo, take it back, mate.
1338
01:06:54,240 --> 01:06:57,480
(EERIE HOWLING)
1339
01:06:57,480 --> 01:06:59,630
The dingo stole my baby!
1340
01:07:00,880 --> 01:07:02,920
That'll be $45 now, man.
1341
01:07:02,920 --> 01:07:04,480
Quick, lads — do a runner!
1342
01:07:04,480 --> 01:07:07,438
Run! Run! Run!
(All shout)
1343
01:07:08,480 --> 01:07:10,440
Pauly, Pauly, man!
What? What? What?
1344
01:07:10,440 --> 01:07:12,640
How did you get back
from the desert?
1345
01:07:12,640 --> 01:07:14,120
Man, I was lucky.
1346
01:07:14,120 --> 01:07:18,160
This top bloke just pulled up
and gave me a lift.
1347
01:07:18,160 --> 01:07:21,080
G'day, I'm Ivan.
This is Heidi and Inga.
1348
01:07:21,080 --> 01:07:23,680
(Both speak in Swedish accent)
Hello! We are backpacking!
1349
01:07:23,680 --> 01:07:27,400
(Sings) ♪ Four little backpackers sitting
on the wall
1350
01:07:27,400 --> 01:07:29,360
♪ And if one little backpacker
1351
01:07:29,360 --> 01:07:31,000
♪ Should accidentally
get slaughtered
1352
01:07:31,000 --> 01:07:33,080
♪ There'd be
three little backpackers... ♪
1353
01:07:33,080 --> 01:07:35,800
Hey, that's you, the backpackers What a
top song.
1354
01:07:35,800 --> 01:07:37,400
♪ Three little backpackers
sitting... ♪
1355
01:07:37,400 --> 01:07:39,760
It's a good song.
1356
01:07:39,760 --> 01:07:42,480
After this, I want to do 'I Spy'.
Know that?
1357
01:07:42,480 --> 01:07:45,800
And this Ivan, mate,
he was a gentleman.
1358
01:07:45,800 --> 01:07:49,040
These chicks wanted to go
camping in the Belanglo Forest.
1359
01:07:49,040 --> 01:07:51,360
Ivan gets out and builds them
1360
01:07:51,360 --> 01:07:55,280
their own special backpacker hostel,
mate, out of wood.
1361
01:07:55,280 --> 01:07:57,880
Yeah, I'll just wait here.
1362
01:07:57,880 --> 01:08:00,320
I mean, it must've taken him
a long time
1363
01:08:00,320 --> 01:08:02,200
because he was gone
during the night.
1364
01:08:02,200 --> 01:08:04,080
( DOOR OPENS)
1365
01:08:04,080 --> 01:08:07,720
Job's done, Pauly. Let's go.
What's all the blood, man?
1366
01:08:07,720 --> 01:08:09,393
Kangaroo, mate.
1367
01:08:10,600 --> 01:08:12,160
Mate, what a top guy.
1368
01:08:12,160 --> 01:08:14,640
Not only does he build shelter
for these chicks,
1369
01:08:14,640 --> 01:08:17,240
he cooks and kills
their own food for them.
1370
01:08:17,240 --> 01:08:19,595
You're tiptop, Ivan.
1371
01:08:19,720 --> 01:08:22,000
Mate, lucky I survived
that whole desert thing.
1372
01:08:22,000 --> 01:08:25,600
But, man, I was not lucky
to end up at this...this pub
1373
01:08:25,600 --> 01:08:27,320
that Dave took us to, mate.
1374
01:08:27,320 --> 01:08:28,800
The grunge pub, man.
1375
01:08:28,800 --> 01:08:31,792
(GRUNGE MUSIC)
1376
01:08:34,520 --> 01:08:36,636
How good's this place?
It's wicked!
1377
01:08:42,600 --> 01:08:45,920
These people don't wash their hair.
It stinks in here.
1378
01:08:45,920 --> 01:08:47,640
Where's all the chicks?
1379
01:08:47,640 --> 01:08:50,680
(Screams)
This place is a shocker.
1380
01:08:50,680 --> 01:08:52,159
Hey! Look at that!
1381
01:08:53,680 --> 01:08:55,880
That chickjust gave me
the look, mate.
1382
01:08:55,880 --> 01:08:58,000
(MOBILE PHONE RINGS)
1383
01:08:58,000 --> 01:08:59,480
Hello?
1384
01:08:59,480 --> 01:09:01,280
Pauly, it's Sleekray.
1385
01:09:01,280 --> 01:09:03,840
Have you seen Habib?
Is he with you, man?
1386
01:09:03,840 --> 01:09:06,280
We're at this pub. Come down.
1387
01:09:06,280 --> 01:09:08,520
Man, I might stay here
for a while.
1388
01:09:08,520 --> 01:09:10,760
I'll catch up with you later.
1389
01:09:10,760 --> 01:09:12,680
SONG: J'I
1390
01:09:12,680 --> 01:09:16,120
♪ I'm fascinated
by your love, boy
1391
01:09:16,120 --> 01:09:19,000
♪ I'm fascinated
by your love toy... ♪
1392
01:09:19,000 --> 01:09:20,880
Sleek!
1393
01:09:20,880 --> 01:09:22,518
I'm going, man. You coming?
1394
01:09:23,760 --> 01:09:26,400
What, man?
1395
01:09:26,400 --> 01:09:29,560
♪ I'm fascinated
by your love, boy
1396
01:09:29,560 --> 01:09:31,440
♪ I'm fascinated by your... ♪
1397
01:09:31,440 --> 01:09:33,400
Hi, Sleek. How are you?
1398
01:09:33,400 --> 01:09:36,000
Yeah, good. Who are you?
1399
01:09:36,000 --> 01:09:39,720
Toula! Remember? You're going
out with my friend, Lisa.
1400
01:09:39,720 --> 01:09:41,472
Not anymore.
1401
01:09:42,640 --> 01:09:46,120
Hey, Sleek, you look
all hot and sweaty
1402
01:09:46,120 --> 01:09:48,360
so I got you a drink.
1403
01:09:48,360 --> 01:09:49,839
Yeah, good. Thanks.
1404
01:09:51,840 --> 01:09:54,832
(MUSIC DISTORTS)
1405
01:10:05,400 --> 01:10:06,440
(BEEP!)
1406
01:10:06,440 --> 01:10:08,680
Hello, boss. It's me.
1407
01:10:08,680 --> 01:10:11,040
Hold on. Hold on. Hold on.
1408
01:10:11,040 --> 01:10:13,800
(BIG BAND MUSIC)
1409
01:10:13,800 --> 01:10:15,320
I'd like you to explain
1410
01:10:15,320 --> 01:10:18,600
how this possum got into the filter
of your coffee machine.
1411
01:10:18,600 --> 01:10:20,680
Don't recall it being there
this morning.
1412
01:10:20,680 --> 01:10:22,920
Hello, sir. I'm back.
1413
01:10:22,920 --> 01:10:25,760
I have cut all the phone lines
and rewired them
1414
01:10:25,760 --> 01:10:28,520
so that all Bobo's orders
come to our shop, sir.
1415
01:10:28,520 --> 01:10:31,240
Bobo will be
f—--ed up very badly with this.
1416
01:10:31,240 --> 01:10:33,120
It was a very good idea, sir.
1417
01:10:33,120 --> 01:10:35,080
I know.
1418
01:10:35,080 --> 01:10:37,151
It was...MY idea.
1419
01:10:39,560 --> 01:10:42,000
(PHONE RINGS)
1420
01:10:42,000 --> 01:10:43,720
Phat Pizza.
1421
01:10:43,720 --> 01:10:45,840
They're cheesy and big.
1422
01:10:45,840 --> 01:10:47,640
Er, is this Fat Pizza?
1423
01:10:47,640 --> 01:10:51,200
This is the original
Phat Pizza. Why?
1424
01:10:51,200 --> 01:10:53,800
Well, your voice sounds
a little bit different, mate.
1425
01:10:53,800 --> 01:10:57,600
But anyway, we've been ordering
pizzas off you for a long time.
1426
01:10:57,600 --> 01:11:00,200
We'd like to come down
and thank you personally.
1427
01:11:00,200 --> 01:11:02,920
So, er, what's the address
down there, sport?
1428
01:11:02,920 --> 01:11:05,000
Dave'.!
1429
01:11:05,000 --> 01:11:07,200
This pub is bullshit, mate.
1430
01:11:07,200 --> 01:11:09,714
The chicks are too choosy.
You can't pick up.
1431
01:11:11,040 --> 01:11:12,520
Pauly's doing alright.
1432
01:11:12,520 --> 01:11:15,512
(THRASH MUSIC)
1433
01:11:17,240 --> 01:11:20,790
What am I doing wrong?
I've tried my best pick-up lines.
1434
01:11:22,240 --> 01:11:24,040
Do you like chocolates?
1435
01:11:24,040 --> 01:11:25,633
Because I got half a bar.
1436
01:11:29,000 --> 01:11:30,479
Full cream dairy milk.
1437
01:11:31,680 --> 01:11:32,670
Arggh!
1438
01:11:33,640 --> 01:11:37,080
Habib, you sell drugs.
These chicks LOVE drugs.
1439
01:11:37,080 --> 01:11:39,240
They live at home
with their rich parents.
1440
01:11:39,240 --> 01:11:40,753
Offer them some pills, mate.
1441
01:11:41,880 --> 01:11:44,156
What a top idea, yulla.
Good work.
1442
01:11:47,000 --> 01:11:50,520
Hey, girls. I've got the pills.
1443
01:11:50,520 --> 01:11:52,158
That's right — the pills.
1444
01:11:54,000 --> 01:11:56,880
I can't believe it.
I'm here in a threesome.
1445
01:11:56,880 --> 01:12:00,077
I'll meet you at Bobo's
for the stripper. Let's go.
1446
01:12:01,600 --> 01:12:03,113
(HORN HONKS)
1447
01:12:04,120 --> 01:12:05,960
Oh, is that him?
1448
01:12:05,960 --> 01:12:07,840
It's hard to tell.
It's pretty dark.
1449
01:12:07,840 --> 01:12:11,160
He's wearing the same hat and
the same clothes. Must be him.
1450
01:12:11,160 --> 01:12:14,560
(All laugh maniacally)
1451
01:12:14,560 --> 01:12:16,039
(All shout)
1452
01:12:19,840 --> 01:12:21,320
SONG: ♪ Chick, chick, chick
1453
01:12:21,320 --> 01:12:22,880
♪ Chick, chick, chick
1454
01:12:22,880 --> 01:12:24,632
♪ Chicks, chicks, chicks... ♪
1455
01:12:26,720 --> 01:12:28,200
Hey, what are you...?
1456
01:12:28,200 --> 01:12:31,320
Rocky, what are you doing, mate?
What are YOU doing?
1457
01:12:31,320 --> 01:12:32,360
Hey.
1458
01:12:32,360 --> 01:12:34,520
What do you think I'm doing?
You stay.
1459
01:12:34,520 --> 01:12:37,480
This is Candice, this chick I just met.
This is Rocky.
1460
01:12:37,480 --> 01:12:39,000
Hello.
Yeah, hi.
1461
01:12:39,000 --> 01:12:40,880
Get out of it.
F--- off, man.
1462
01:12:40,880 --> 01:12:43,280
What are you doing? Go.
What are YOU doing?
1463
01:12:43,280 --> 01:12:44,320
Go.
(MOBILE PHONE RINGS)
1464
01:12:44,320 --> 01:12:44,798
Go.
(MOBILE PHONE RINGS)
1465
01:12:46,280 --> 01:12:47,759
Hello. Lebanese Rambo.
1466
01:12:47,920 --> 01:12:49,480
Rocky, man. I'm spewing, man.
1467
01:12:49,480 --> 01:12:51,520
I finally got a threesome,
1468
01:12:51,520 --> 01:12:53,680
but instead of giving the chicks
some eckies,
1469
01:12:53,680 --> 01:12:55,320
I gave them
some sleeping tablets.
1470
01:12:55,320 --> 01:12:57,760
Oh, my God, they're out cold.
1471
01:12:57,760 --> 01:13:00,718
Hey, do you reckon I should
give it to 'em anyway?
1472
01:13:03,600 --> 01:13:04,960
SONG: ♪ Fat, fat, fat, fat, fat
1473
01:13:04,960 --> 01:13:07,031
♪ Yeah, pizza
Oh, yeah... ♪
1474
01:13:08,120 --> 01:13:10,920
Do you take bribes?
1475
01:13:10,920 --> 01:13:13,840
Normally, yes.
But in your case, no.
1476
01:13:13,840 --> 01:13:17,071
Absolutely, totally
and absolutely no.
1477
01:13:18,600 --> 01:13:21,440
Look, there's gotta be something
we can do.
1478
01:13:21,440 --> 01:13:26,480
If you close this shop,
Mama's gonna kill me.
1479
01:13:26,480 --> 01:13:29,480
Look, I couldn't give a rat's
ear lobe about your mother.
1480
01:13:29,480 --> 01:13:32,040
I'm very sensitive about Mama.
1481
01:13:33,200 --> 01:13:34,680
(Man grunts)
1482
01:13:34,680 --> 01:13:36,159
200 demerit points.
1483
01:13:38,120 --> 01:13:39,600
Burn!
1484
01:13:39,600 --> 01:13:41,760
Sleek...
1485
01:13:41,760 --> 01:13:43,440
...you're awake.
1486
01:13:43,440 --> 01:13:46,432
(FUNKY MUSIC)
1487
01:13:47,920 --> 01:13:49,720
(some!)
1488
01:13:49,720 --> 01:13:51,200
What's going on here?
1489
01:13:51,200 --> 01:13:56,560
Well, Sleek, we're sick of guys
like you using us big girls
1490
01:13:56,560 --> 01:13:59,440
just to get
to our good-looking friends.
1491
01:13:59,440 --> 01:14:02,240
We drugged you with Rohypnol
to get you here,
1492
01:14:02,240 --> 01:14:07,400
then we fed you
half a bottle of that Viagras.
1493
01:14:07,400 --> 01:14:11,314
So, tonight we get our revenge.
1494
01:14:13,960 --> 01:14:15,600
Arggh!
1495
01:14:15,600 --> 01:14:18,120
(Both moan)
1496
01:14:18,120 --> 01:14:20,600
Hey, um,
what is...what is this thing?
1497
01:14:20,600 --> 01:14:22,240
That's my nipple piercing.
1498
01:14:22,240 --> 01:14:23,840
But what's this?
1499
01:14:23,840 --> 01:14:25,400
That's my other
nipple piercing.
1500
01:14:25,400 --> 01:14:29,120
OK. What's that
down near my thing? Arggh!
1501
01:14:29,120 --> 01:14:33,800
What is it? You're hooked...
Arggh, don't mo... It's cut me.
1502
01:14:33,800 --> 01:14:36,679
Arggh! It's cut me. Arggh!
1503
01:14:37,800 --> 01:14:40,320
(Knocks at door and mouths)
1504
01:14:40,320 --> 01:14:43,312
(TRADITIONAL FOLK MUSIC)
1505
01:14:50,240 --> 01:14:52,560
Hey, Bobo.
Where are the strippers?
1506
01:14:52,560 --> 01:14:54,040
Shut up.
1507
01:14:54,040 --> 01:14:58,160
Take that out the back
and don't look inside.
1508
01:14:58,160 --> 01:15:00,080
Where's Pauly?
1509
01:15:00,080 --> 01:15:02,240
I thought he was coming.
1510
01:15:02,240 --> 01:15:05,360
I have to admit,
this next part of the story,
1511
01:15:05,360 --> 01:15:07,040
it was a little bit
embarrassing.
1512
01:15:07,040 --> 01:15:08,519
(Gasps)
1513
01:15:10,240 --> 01:15:13,000
Oh, stop moving so much, Pauly.
You're hurting me.
1514
01:15:13,000 --> 01:15:14,480
You never told me
1515
01:15:14,480 --> 01:15:16,760
you had the genitals piercings
before, did you?
1516
01:15:16,760 --> 01:15:20,037
It was all fun and games then.
Look now.
1517
01:15:21,560 --> 01:15:23,040
Arggh.
1518
01:15:23,040 --> 01:15:24,360
Arggh!
1519
01:15:24,440 --> 01:15:26,280
Hmm.
1520
01:15:26,280 --> 01:15:28,640
These piercings
are surgical steel.
1521
01:15:28,640 --> 01:15:30,400
It's not going to be easy.
1522
01:15:30,400 --> 01:15:34,040
Oh, come on, man. There's no way
that's a surgical instrument.
1523
01:15:34,040 --> 01:15:36,840
Oh, stop moving.
You're quite right, it's not.
1524
01:15:36,840 --> 01:15:40,600
But we're a public hospital,
so there's been a lot of cutbacks.
1525
01:15:40,600 --> 01:15:43,200
What's this needle for, hmm?
1526
01:15:43,200 --> 01:15:45,040
Arggh!
1527
01:15:45,040 --> 01:15:46,840
That's for tetanus.
For your, um...
1528
01:15:46,840 --> 01:15:48,360
Oh, that's the scrotus. Ow!
1529
01:15:48,360 --> 01:15:49,839
Now, don't breathe.
1530
01:15:52,000 --> 01:15:53,479
(Both scream)
1531
01:15:55,360 --> 01:15:57,160
Hey, Bobo.
1532
01:15:57,160 --> 01:15:59,960
Congratulations, mate.
1533
01:15:59,960 --> 01:16:02,400
(Man groans)
What do you want?
1534
01:16:02,400 --> 01:16:05,160
Take it easy, Bobo,
f—--ing tight-arse.
1535
01:16:05,160 --> 01:16:08,440
Relax, mate. Smile a bit.
F---ing zib.
1536
01:16:08,440 --> 01:16:13,160
Where's Sleek? He's a groomsman.
He should be here.
1537
01:16:13,160 --> 01:16:15,320
(All scream)
1538
01:16:15,320 --> 01:16:16,993
(Screams)
1539
01:16:20,360 --> 01:16:25,800
Here's to Bobo, my new boss,
and his mail-order bride.
1540
01:16:25,800 --> 01:16:27,473
ALL: Yeah!
1541
01:16:30,400 --> 01:16:33,392
(TANGO MUSIC)
1542
01:16:41,160 --> 01:16:43,720
Oh, my God. Bobo.
1543
01:16:43,720 --> 01:16:46,640
Oh, it's been, like,
a year, hasn't it?
1544
01:16:46,640 --> 01:16:48,800
Oh, they tell me
it's your bucks night.
1545
01:16:48,800 --> 01:16:51,120
Honey, I am gonna give you
a strip
1546
01:16:51,120 --> 01:16:53,400
that you ain't never
gonna forget.
1547
01:16:53,400 --> 01:16:58,680
And for 20 bucks extra,
I give you a special service.
1548
01:16:58,680 --> 01:17:00,193
(Moans seductively)
1549
01:17:02,360 --> 01:17:05,320
Wait a minute, Rocky. This time
I didn't stuff up, alright?
1550
01:17:05,320 --> 01:17:07,240
Because I booked
two different strippers
1551
01:17:07,240 --> 01:17:10,200
from two different places
just in case.
1552
01:17:10,200 --> 01:17:11,679
(POUNDING)
1553
01:17:16,000 --> 01:17:17,479
(ROCK MUSIC)
1554
01:17:20,000 --> 01:17:23,709
Habib! That's that fat bush pig
from my 21st, man.
1555
01:17:26,240 --> 01:17:27,913
At least it's a chick.
1556
01:17:31,120 --> 01:17:32,600
(GUNSHOTS)
1557
01:17:32,600 --> 01:17:34,079
(Screams)
1558
01:17:35,640 --> 01:17:39,440
( MUZAK PLAYS )
1559
01:17:39,440 --> 01:17:40,920
(Yells)
1560
01:17:40,920 --> 01:17:43,912
(MUZAK CONTINUES)
1561
01:18:15,400 --> 01:18:18,392
(MUZAK CONCLUDES)
1562
01:18:20,640 --> 01:18:21,630
Bobo.
1563
01:18:24,480 --> 01:18:26,080
(WHIP CRACKS)
Oh, yeah.
1564
01:18:26,080 --> 01:18:27,680
Oh, yeah.
(WHIP CRACKS)
1565
01:18:27,680 --> 01:18:28,960
Mmm.
1566
01:18:28,960 --> 01:18:32,000
(Moans) Bobo have big pizza.
1567
01:18:32,000 --> 01:18:35,200
Oh, yeah.
Big pizza, Bobo.
1568
01:18:35,200 --> 01:18:36,800
Oh, yeah.
1569
01:18:36,800 --> 01:18:39,120
Bobo! Bobo!
1570
01:18:39,120 --> 01:18:40,599
Bobo!
1571
01:18:41,640 --> 01:18:45,120
(CLASSICAL MUSIC)
1572
01:18:45,120 --> 01:18:46,680
Mama, what?
1573
01:18:46,680 --> 01:18:49,720
Bobo,
you make-a dirty thoughts,
1574
01:18:49,720 --> 01:18:52,109
even on your wedding day.
1575
01:18:53,320 --> 01:18:56,000
Arggh! Arggh! Arggh!
(Rants indistinctly)
1576
01:18:56,000 --> 01:18:57,480
Help!
1577
01:18:57,480 --> 01:18:59,471
(Bobo screams)
1578
01:19:02,920 --> 01:19:05,150
Mama...
(SLAP!)
1579
01:19:08,080 --> 01:19:11,160
(Thinks) Oh, man, I'm covered
in their fat whale oil
1580
01:19:11,160 --> 01:19:12,920
and it just won't come off.
1581
01:19:12,920 --> 01:19:14,400
(All shout)
1582
01:19:14,400 --> 01:19:17,920
This thing with the fat chicks,
bro, it was a wake-up call.
1583
01:19:17,920 --> 01:19:19,400
(Screams)
1584
01:19:19,400 --> 01:19:21,920
From now on,
you have to be good.
1585
01:19:21,920 --> 01:19:24,760
Sleeky, your days
of threesomes are over.
1586
01:19:24,760 --> 01:19:28,600
Yep, it's time to concentrate
on rapping, not rooting.
1587
01:19:28,600 --> 01:19:32,520
No drugs, hard work
and a little bit less pussy.
1588
01:19:32,520 --> 01:19:34,796
The new happy days. Yeah.
1589
01:19:36,120 --> 01:19:38,600
MAN: OK. They're all here? Good.
1590
01:19:38,600 --> 01:19:40,120
I introduce.
1591
01:19:40,120 --> 01:19:42,640
Over here is Mr Fung Wah,
1592
01:19:42,640 --> 01:19:46,040
boss of Vietnamese Big Bang
Bang Gang.
1593
01:19:46,040 --> 01:19:49,000
Over here is Mr Fartintino,
1594
01:19:49,000 --> 01:19:51,240
Italian Mafia boss.
1595
01:19:51,240 --> 01:19:55,600
And I am Dimitri,
Russian crime family boss.
1596
01:19:55,600 --> 01:19:59,760
Now, we are all making peace
between ourselves temporarily
1597
01:19:59,760 --> 01:20:05,280
because this f—--ing Lebanese
piece of s--- poofter b ------
1598
01:20:05,280 --> 01:20:07,760
is rooting all our daughters
1599
01:20:07,760 --> 01:20:11,800
and putting filthy videos
on the f—--ing Internet!
1600
01:20:11,800 --> 01:20:14,792
(TECHNO MUSIC)
1601
01:20:18,920 --> 01:20:20,840
We should cut his balls off!
1602
01:20:20,840 --> 01:20:23,400
I want him dead!
1603
01:20:23,400 --> 01:20:26,920
Give me chopstick, I stick it
in his eye, you know.
1604
01:20:26,920 --> 01:20:28,560
Take his eye, I eat it.
1605
01:20:28,560 --> 01:20:31,880
I want to kill him
then resuscitate him again.
1606
01:20:31,880 --> 01:20:35,680
You know, like, CPR,
and then I want to kill him again!
1607
01:20:35,680 --> 01:20:37,160
(All shout)
1608
01:20:37,160 --> 01:20:39,160
( ROOSTER CROWS )
1609
01:20:39,160 --> 01:20:41,080
(ALARM RINGS)
1610
01:20:41,080 --> 01:20:42,960
SONG: ♪ Smoke more cones
1611
01:20:42,960 --> 01:20:44,680
♪ Smoke more cones
1612
01:20:44,680 --> 01:20:46,680
♪ Smoke more cones
1613
01:20:46,680 --> 01:20:48,160
♪ Smoke more cones
1614
01:20:48,160 --> 01:20:49,880
♪ Smoke more cones
1615
01:20:49,880 --> 01:20:51,640
♪ Smoke more cones
1616
01:20:51,640 --> 01:20:53,920
♪ I said, smoke more cones
1617
01:20:53,920 --> 01:20:55,400
♪ Smoke more cones
1618
01:20:55,400 --> 01:20:56,880
♪ Smoke more cones... ♪
1619
01:20:56,880 --> 01:20:59,080
(Retches)
1620
01:20:59,080 --> 01:21:00,559
(Spits)
1621
01:21:02,400 --> 01:21:05,360
SONG: ♪ Hey, I was stoned
as a crow at Altamont
1622
01:21:05,360 --> 01:21:07,749
♪ Well, I was stoned
as a boot... ♪
1623
01:21:10,520 --> 01:21:11,999
( ROOSTER CROWS )
1624
01:21:13,200 --> 01:21:16,192
(ROCK MUSIC ROARS)
1625
01:21:18,680 --> 01:21:20,040
(RINGING TONE)
1626
01:21:20,040 --> 01:21:21,519
(All shout)
1627
01:21:22,600 --> 01:21:24,800
PAU LY: You have called
Pauly's message thing.
1628
01:21:24,800 --> 01:21:27,800
I'm doing things
that stop me from answering.
1629
01:21:27,800 --> 01:21:30,553
Leave a message after the beep,
you stooge.
1630
01:21:31,720 --> 01:21:33,199
(BEEP!)
1631
01:21:34,920 --> 01:21:37,520
Where is he? He's got the ring!
1632
01:21:37,520 --> 01:21:39,920
What do you mean,
the kid swallowed the ring?
1633
01:21:39,920 --> 01:21:42,594
Come on, Pauly, relax.
He's gonna bring it up eventually.
1634
01:21:44,080 --> 01:21:45,920
(Baby cries)
1635
01:21:45,920 --> 01:21:48,600
I told you so.
There y'are, there's your ring back.
1636
01:21:48,600 --> 01:21:49,600
Lucky.
1637
01:21:49,600 --> 01:21:51,079
Bobo! Photo! Photo!
1638
01:21:53,880 --> 01:21:55,359
(All cheer)
1639
01:21:57,680 --> 01:21:59,159
(All speak Vietnamese)
1640
01:22:04,360 --> 01:22:07,352
(CLASSICAL MUSIC)
1641
01:22:24,680 --> 01:22:26,320
(HORN HONKS)
1642
01:22:26,320 --> 01:22:27,800
WOMAN: Stop fighting!
1643
01:22:27,800 --> 01:22:30,792
(ROCK MUSIC)
1644
01:22:32,720 --> 01:22:34,360
Oh, f—--ing hell.
1645
01:22:34,360 --> 01:22:35,960
(Raps) ♪ Yeah, Sleek the Elite
1646
01:22:35,960 --> 01:22:37,560
♪ I'm going to Bobo's wedding
1647
01:22:37,560 --> 01:22:39,480
♪ And I'm betting
that it won't last
1648
01:22:39,480 --> 01:22:41,880
♪ I think he's gonna
get the arse, of course
1649
01:22:41,880 --> 01:22:43,360
♪ Man, look at his girl
1650
01:22:43,360 --> 01:22:45,078
♪ She looks like a horse
Oh, yeah... ♪
1651
01:22:46,600 --> 01:22:49,280
Man, what's with these vans?
They keep following me, mate.
1652
01:22:49,280 --> 01:22:50,760
What's going on?
1653
01:22:50,760 --> 01:22:53,752
(OMINOUS MUSIC)
1654
01:22:58,080 --> 01:22:59,559
(PHONE RINGS)
1655
01:23:00,760 --> 01:23:02,240
Hello.
1656
01:23:02,240 --> 01:23:04,920
Habib, man, call
all the cousins — all of them.
1657
01:23:04,920 --> 01:23:06,840
There's these blokes with guns.
1658
01:23:06,840 --> 01:23:08,440
Man, guns!
1659
01:23:08,440 --> 01:23:09,920
(PHONE RINGS)
1660
01:23:09,920 --> 01:23:12,080
(Woman gasps)
More, Rocky, please!
1661
01:23:12,080 --> 01:23:14,920
(PHONE RINGS)
I'm being called on the phone.
1662
01:23:14,920 --> 01:23:16,400
F---. Hello.
1663
01:23:16,400 --> 01:23:18,920
What do you want, Habib? What?!
Sleek's in trouble?
1664
01:23:18,920 --> 01:23:20,560
Where the f--- is he?
1665
01:23:20,560 --> 01:23:22,039
(All shout)
1666
01:23:25,320 --> 01:23:26,800
(All shout)
1667
01:23:26,800 --> 01:23:29,792
(TECHNO MUSIC)
1668
01:23:35,120 --> 01:23:38,080
We f—--ing booked this church
f—--ing three weeks ago!
1669
01:23:38,080 --> 01:23:39,840
I know we f—--ing did
1670
01:23:39,840 --> 01:23:43,120
because we booked when I found
out I was f—--ing pregnant
1671
01:23:43,120 --> 01:23:44,880
with our seventh f—--ing kid.
1672
01:23:44,880 --> 01:23:47,400
I booked it four weeks ago.
1673
01:23:47,400 --> 01:23:49,800
Dazza goes back inside tomorrow,
you f---wit!
1674
01:23:49,800 --> 01:23:53,320
Look, let's all calm down
and we can work this out.
1675
01:23:53,320 --> 01:23:56,840
I don't wanna be f—--ing calm!
I wanna be f—--ing married!
1676
01:23:56,840 --> 01:23:58,320
Hey, Bobo, what's going on?
1677
01:23:58,320 --> 01:23:59,800
Shut up!
1678
01:23:59,800 --> 01:24:01,760
Help me get these refugees
inside.
1679
01:24:01,760 --> 01:24:03,240
What's going on here?
1680
01:24:03,240 --> 01:24:04,800
Come on, guys. Come in.
1681
01:24:04,800 --> 01:24:06,640
This dumb f ------ priest
1682
01:24:06,640 --> 01:24:09,520
has double-booked
the f—--ing church.
1683
01:24:09,520 --> 01:24:12,160
Hey, Dimitri, what the hell's
going on around here?
1684
01:24:12,160 --> 01:24:15,080
(Speaks Greek)
They booked the f—--ing church.
1685
01:24:15,080 --> 01:24:17,680
I'm gonna...|'m gonna
f—--ing kill someone,
1686
01:24:17,680 --> 01:24:19,560
that's what I'm gonna do,
you know!
1687
01:24:19,560 --> 01:24:21,840
I'm gonna kick someone's arse
around the church!
1688
01:24:21,840 --> 01:24:23,320
Now stop yelling!
1689
01:24:23,320 --> 01:24:26,720
(Speaks apologetically
in Greek)
1690
01:24:26,720 --> 01:24:28,200
ALL: Ohh.
1691
01:24:28,200 --> 01:24:30,680
DAVO: Hurry up.
Come on, hurry up.
1692
01:24:30,680 --> 01:24:32,160
For God's sakes, hurry up.
1693
01:24:32,160 --> 01:24:36,074
Are you stoned or something,
you idiots? You sitty there.
1694
01:24:37,160 --> 01:24:39,280
I give you video.
1695
01:24:39,280 --> 01:24:40,760
(Screams)
1696
01:24:40,760 --> 01:24:42,240
Camera boy. Video boy, eh?
1697
01:24:42,240 --> 01:24:44,834
I will kill you like a dog.
Grab him!
1698
01:24:46,160 --> 01:24:47,200
(Screams)
1699
01:24:47,200 --> 01:24:49,640
We're gonna cut your pene off.
1700
01:24:49,640 --> 01:24:52,960
(TECHNO MUSIC)
1701
01:24:52,960 --> 01:24:54,439
(All shout)
1702
01:24:56,120 --> 01:25:00,600
Oi! No-one f—--s
with my second cousin, alright?
1703
01:25:00,600 --> 01:25:02,079
(All cheer)
1704
01:25:10,040 --> 01:25:12,600
Alright, if we're all ready.
1705
01:25:12,600 --> 01:25:15,592
Bobo, do...
(Davo sniggers)
1706
01:25:18,120 --> 01:25:19,599
(Sniggers)
1707
01:25:23,800 --> 01:25:24,960
Sorry.
1708
01:25:24,960 --> 01:25:26,080
(Groans)
1709
01:25:26,080 --> 01:25:28,400
You big fat wog!
1710
01:25:28,400 --> 01:25:29,879
(All shout)
1711
01:25:30,920 --> 01:25:32,680
Hey, bro,
what's happening here?
1712
01:25:32,680 --> 01:25:34,600
My cousin's supposed
to be getting married.
1713
01:25:34,600 --> 01:25:38,600
Oh, the d--khead priest f—--ing
triple-booked the church.
1714
01:25:38,600 --> 01:25:40,680
And he's locked us out. C---.
1715
01:25:40,680 --> 01:25:43,000
Bobo, do you take Lin Chow Bang
1716
01:25:43,000 --> 01:25:45,680
to be your lawfully wedded
mail-order wife?
1717
01:25:45,680 --> 01:25:47,200
I do.
1718
01:25:47,200 --> 01:25:48,880
And do you, Lin Chow Bang,
1719
01:25:48,880 --> 01:25:51,120
take Bobo to be
your lawfully wedded husband?
1720
01:25:51,120 --> 01:25:52,758
No speak English.
1721
01:25:59,440 --> 01:26:02,920
(DANCE MUSIC)
1722
01:26:02,920 --> 01:26:04,400
You see this b ------.
1723
01:26:04,400 --> 01:26:07,200
He is rooting all girl
and putting on the Internet.
1724
01:26:07,200 --> 01:26:08,720
Even yours.
1725
01:26:08,720 --> 01:26:10,760
Sleek, I can't believe it, bro.
1726
01:26:10,760 --> 01:26:13,040
What are you doing
rooting my sister Lisa?
1727
01:26:13,040 --> 01:26:16,040
And you too, Habib. I can't
believe you filming it, bro.
1728
01:26:16,040 --> 01:26:18,880
You're f—--ing dead, mate.
I'm gonna kill you!
1729
01:26:18,880 --> 01:26:21,400
Yeah, but I never wanked
over the pictures.
1730
01:26:21,400 --> 01:26:22,879
(All shout)
1731
01:26:25,320 --> 01:26:26,800
(HORN HONKS)
1732
01:26:26,800 --> 01:26:28,280
Open the f—--ing door!
1733
01:26:28,280 --> 01:26:30,160
(Crowd outside shouts)
1734
01:26:30,160 --> 01:26:31,639
Look...
1735
01:26:36,040 --> 01:26:37,519
(Mouths)
1736
01:26:39,720 --> 01:26:42,400
Look, we really can't wait
any longer for the ring.
1737
01:26:42,400 --> 01:26:43,880
(All shout)
1738
01:26:43,880 --> 01:26:46,480
(MOBILE PHONE RINGS)
1739
01:26:46,480 --> 01:26:47,960
Hello.
1740
01:26:47,960 --> 01:26:51,720
I'm at the side door. Let me in.
I can't get in the front.
1741
01:26:51,720 --> 01:26:53,440
There's all these nuts
out there.
1742
01:26:53,440 --> 01:26:54,919
(Crowd outside shouts)
1743
01:26:56,680 --> 01:26:58,160
(All cheer)
1744
01:26:58,160 --> 01:26:59,639
(BUBBLING NOISE)
1745
01:27:01,560 --> 01:27:03,710
Come on, man,
no hangs in the church.
1746
01:27:06,840 --> 01:27:08,800
Where have you been?
1747
01:27:08,800 --> 01:27:11,240
Alright, I'll admit,
it probably wasn't a good idea,
1748
01:27:11,240 --> 01:27:14,360
dropping in at the boxing
on the way to a wedding.
1749
01:27:14,360 --> 01:27:16,320
What boxing?
1750
01:27:16,320 --> 01:27:19,000
And I'll admit that maybe
trying to clean the ring
1751
01:27:19,000 --> 01:27:22,200
from the spew from the kid
was not a good idea, like,
1752
01:27:22,200 --> 01:27:23,680
with them blokes bumping me.
1753
01:27:23,680 --> 01:27:25,160
(Crowd roars)
1754
01:27:25,160 --> 01:27:28,152
(TECHNO MUSIC)
1755
01:27:32,120 --> 01:27:33,720
But, man, I won't admit
1756
01:27:33,720 --> 01:27:36,240
that being late was,
like, purely my fault.
1757
01:27:36,240 --> 01:27:38,160
There was other stooges
involved.
1758
01:27:38,160 --> 01:27:41,152
(TECHNO MUSIC)
1759
01:27:44,720 --> 01:27:46,199
(MYSTICAL MUSIC)
1760
01:27:48,480 --> 01:27:49,959
(MYSTICAL MUSIC)
1761
01:27:51,600 --> 01:27:53,079
(Screams)
1762
01:27:54,120 --> 01:27:56,440
Oh, come on, mate.
You're a nerd!
1763
01:27:56,440 --> 01:27:59,920
So, then, Mrs Giglioti,
what happens is the magician...
1764
01:27:59,920 --> 01:28:01,880
( FANFARE)
1765
01:28:01,880 --> 01:28:05,360
...he has magicked the ring
into the ring.
1766
01:28:05,360 --> 01:28:08,360
(TECHNO MUSIC)
1767
01:28:08,360 --> 01:28:09,839
(CROWD ROARS)
1768
01:28:14,280 --> 01:28:15,793
Take it easy, mate, alright?
1769
01:28:16,800 --> 01:28:20,320
So, you know, I knew I'd never
beat these two with boxing,
1770
01:28:20,320 --> 01:28:21,800
'cause they was too big,
1771
01:28:21,800 --> 01:28:25,760
so what I had to do was use,
like, wrestling...tricks.
1772
01:28:25,760 --> 01:28:27,240
(BELL RINGS)
1773
01:28:27,240 --> 01:28:30,232
(TECHNO MUSIC)
1774
01:28:32,800 --> 01:28:34,960
You wanna mess with
the little guy, huh?!
1775
01:28:34,960 --> 01:28:36,560
This is what you get, mate!
1776
01:28:36,560 --> 01:28:38,320
This is what you get!
1777
01:28:38,320 --> 01:28:39,799
(CROWD ROARS)
1778
01:28:44,680 --> 01:28:47,360
This is fake like your
stupid magic tricks, isn't it?
1779
01:28:47,360 --> 01:28:49,000
The champion is here!
1780
01:28:49,000 --> 01:28:52,400
Oh, no.
(All heckle)
1781
01:28:52,400 --> 01:28:55,920
The champ! The champ!
I am the ch... Ow!
1782
01:28:55,920 --> 01:28:57,400
(Crowd cheers)
1783
01:28:57,400 --> 01:28:59,320
I'm the champ!
1784
01:28:59,320 --> 01:29:02,312
(TECHNO MUSIC)
1785
01:29:04,280 --> 01:29:05,760
(BELL RINGS)
1786
01:29:05,760 --> 01:29:09,230
Look, can we just f—--ing get
on with this f—--ing wedding?!
1787
01:29:11,800 --> 01:29:13,520
Well, can we?!
1788
01:29:13,520 --> 01:29:14,999
F---ing open it.
1789
01:29:16,320 --> 01:29:18,516
Now, you, put the ring
on her finger.
1790
01:29:21,000 --> 01:29:22,877
Go on, put it on her finger.
1791
01:29:24,280 --> 01:29:26,440
(Stammers) Yes. Yes, that's it.
1792
01:29:26,440 --> 01:29:28,078
Right, you're married.
1793
01:29:30,480 --> 01:29:32,073
Good f—--ing luck to you.
1794
01:29:33,160 --> 01:29:34,639
(All shout)
1795
01:29:35,800 --> 01:29:37,920
(Screams) What about us?!
1796
01:29:37,920 --> 01:29:41,120
You stupid f—--ing priest!
1797
01:29:41,120 --> 01:29:44,160
What do you think you're doing,
you dumb c--- priest?!
1798
01:29:44,160 --> 01:29:46,360
Can you make this marrying s---
any quicker?
1799
01:29:46,360 --> 01:29:47,953
I gotta get down the pub.
1800
01:29:49,360 --> 01:29:50,840
Alright.
1801
01:29:50,840 --> 01:29:52,319
You wanna get married?!
1802
01:29:54,640 --> 01:29:56,120
Fine.
1803
01:29:56,120 --> 01:29:58,157
You're married.
1804
01:30:01,320 --> 01:30:02,993
You're married.
1805
01:30:04,360 --> 01:30:10,360
You're f—--ing married.
Now everyone's f—--ing married!
1806
01:30:10,360 --> 01:30:11,840
(Guests cheer)
1807
01:30:11,840 --> 01:30:14,832
('WEDDING MARCH' PLAYS)
1808
01:30:16,160 --> 01:30:17,640
And at this point,
1809
01:30:17,640 --> 01:30:21,480
all there was left to do
was go and get pissed.
1810
01:30:21,480 --> 01:30:22,959
(Wedding guests shout)
1811
01:30:26,840 --> 01:30:29,280
Rocky, I didn't bring
any rice, man.
1812
01:30:29,280 --> 01:30:31,960
What are we gonna throw?
Habib, don't worry about rice.
1813
01:30:31,960 --> 01:30:33,640
I got eckies instead.
1814
01:30:33,640 --> 01:30:38,157
Eckies? My God,
weddings can be so expensive.
1815
01:30:40,240 --> 01:30:42,920
Hey, Bobo, I was on the way
to your wedding.
1816
01:30:42,920 --> 01:30:45,400
I think that means I can get
workers' conversation.
1817
01:30:45,400 --> 01:30:46,880
Sleek, you're fired.
1818
01:30:46,880 --> 01:30:49,880
( 'THAT'S AMORE' PLAYS )
1819
01:30:49,880 --> 01:30:52,320
(Sings)
♪ When you try to get in
1820
01:30:52,320 --> 01:30:54,520
♪ But your thongs are too thin
1821
01:30:54,520 --> 01:30:56,352
♪ That's a Maori
1822
01:30:59,200 --> 01:31:01,680
♪ Then we both get chucked out
1823
01:31:01,680 --> 01:31:03,920
♪ 'Cause I got me c--k out
1824
01:31:03,920 --> 01:31:06,196
♪ That's a Maori... ♪
1825
01:31:08,360 --> 01:31:10,760
(Sings flatly)
♪ Bells will ring, ting-a-ling
1826
01:31:10,760 --> 01:31:13,200
♪ Ting, ting-a-ling
Ting-a-ling
1827
01:31:13,200 --> 01:31:14,679
♪ Ting-a-ling... ♪
1828
01:31:17,640 --> 01:31:20,320
(Sings badly)
♪ When the stars make you drool
1829
01:31:20,320 --> 01:31:22,600
♪ Just like pasta
1830
01:31:22,600 --> 01:31:25,240
♪ That's amore... ♪
1831
01:31:25,240 --> 01:31:26,840
Who's this?
1832
01:31:26,840 --> 01:31:29,000
(Raps) ♪ Ring-a-ling-a-ling
I pick up the phone
1833
01:31:29,000 --> 01:31:31,080
♪ There's nobody there
So I'm at home... ♪
1834
01:31:31,080 --> 01:31:34,320
That's Sleek's cousin.
His name's Slick.
1835
01:31:34,320 --> 01:31:36,240
Slick?
Yeah.
1836
01:31:36,240 --> 01:31:37,913
He's slicker than Sleek.
1837
01:31:39,240 --> 01:31:41,680
Oh, my God.
1838
01:31:41,680 --> 01:31:43,640
SONG: ♪ Where's the chicks?
Where's the chicks?
1839
01:31:43,640 --> 01:31:45,120
♪ Where's the chicks?
1840
01:31:45,120 --> 01:31:46,640
♪ Here we are
Here we are
1841
01:31:46,640 --> 01:31:49,040
♪ Oh, yeah
1842
01:31:49,040 --> 01:31:50,920
♪ Where's the chicks?
Where's the chicks?
1843
01:31:50,920 --> 01:31:52,080
♪ Where's the chicks?
1844
01:31:52,080 --> 01:31:53,600
♪ Here we are
Here we are
1845
01:31:53,600 --> 01:31:55,079
♪ Oh, yeah... ♪
1846
01:31:56,520 --> 01:31:58,397
I f—--ing love you.
1847
01:32:00,000 --> 01:32:03,391
I love you, too, Dazz.
Aw, you little beauty.
1848
01:32:04,640 --> 01:32:07,632
(DANCE MUSIC)
1849
01:32:08,680 --> 01:32:10,159
(Laughs)
1850
01:32:14,600 --> 01:32:16,080
(SIREN BLURTS)
1851
01:32:16,080 --> 01:32:18,520
Alright, everyone.
We're the immigration police.
1852
01:32:18,520 --> 01:32:20,000
(All scream)
1853
01:32:20,000 --> 01:32:22,760
Now, I know
that most of youse b ------- here
1854
01:32:22,760 --> 01:32:24,480
are bloody illegal immigrants.
1855
01:32:24,480 --> 01:32:27,440
Who would call the immigration
on a day like today, mate?
1856
01:32:27,440 --> 01:32:29,600
(Laughs)
1857
01:32:29,600 --> 01:32:31,080
Salute.
1858
01:32:31,080 --> 01:32:33,480
...detained and deported back
to your country of origin.
1859
01:32:33,480 --> 01:32:35,680
(All shout)
1860
01:32:35,680 --> 01:32:37,160
Habib, shoot him. Come on.
1861
01:32:37,160 --> 01:32:40,840
One phone call, mate,
and this is what will happen to you.
1862
01:32:40,840 --> 01:32:42,360
I'm f—--ing Australian!
1863
01:32:42,360 --> 01:32:44,200
(All shout)
1864
01:32:44,200 --> 01:32:46,360
The lot of youse,
get out of here!
1865
01:32:46,360 --> 01:32:47,839
Quiet!
1866
01:32:50,000 --> 01:32:54,720
Now that I have your attention,
do you understand this —
1867
01:32:54,720 --> 01:32:56,240
we take bribes!
1868
01:32:56,240 --> 01:32:58,240
(APPLAUSE )
Youse are all fine.
1869
01:32:58,240 --> 01:33:01,240
We take; br'mey-bflbey.
1870
01:33:01,240 --> 01:33:02,719
(GUNS COCK)
1871
01:33:04,280 --> 01:33:07,480
Why...are people so unkind?
1872
01:33:07,480 --> 01:33:08,959
(GUNHRE)
132299
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